Hello. Happy New Year! Has anyone not fucked up their new years resolutions yet? The whole concept is a fuckin joke, designed to make our inner self-hatred grow rapidly because I couldn't make it one fucking week into 2020 without getting blackout drunk? I fucking suck so fucking bad. No wonder my last girlfriend dumped me. She said it was because of the irresistible urge I have to reduce fractions. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, if I see a fraction I have to put everything else on hold until I reduce it. I can understand how that gets annoying, and looking back now, I should have known that her and I would never work. But you know what they say, hindsight is 1. I wonder if it had anything to do with that time she caught me putting on her makeup while wearing her panties... Things were never quite the same after that. Anywho, being that this is askagp I should probably post this recent interview with Dr. Ray Blanchard which is full of wisdom and insight from the man that made all of this possible. The confusion. The self hatred. That horrible post-nut clarity, when you look down at yourself and see the pink bra and matching cum-soaked panties, which are doing a piss-poor job containing your sticky, swollen erection. Fishnet stockings and tacky stripper heels complete the whorish monstrosity that is you, and even though you know you shouldn't, you look at yourself in the mirror and see the cheap costume store blonde wig and horribly applied makeup, which adds to your persona of being a filthy, sissy fucktoy. And then the guilt starts pulsating in waves through your body. The guilt and the shame that mixes you up into a perfectly blended cocktail of self-hatred and disgust... and when you bow your head in shame you notice the oily dildo, that only moments ago was your secret-lover; deep inside of you, in and out - filling you up literally, and figuratively - with pure ecstasy, as you unleash moans that sound so feminine they catch you off guard, and make you feel even sexier, which turns you on even more because in that moment.. ...that fleeting moment. The moment that is gone, and has been replaced with the self-loathing that crushes your soul, as you rip your "I'm a brain-dead bimbo slut" costume off as quickly as you can and hastily shove it into your "secret chest", which you slam shut on top of your thumb, which leads to ten minutes of jumping up and down while walking in circles, cycling between angrily growling "fuck that hurt", and beta moans of "oh Holy tittie", followed by hastily shoving your "secret chest full of dirty secrets" deep into the closet, and you actually smile as you ponder the irony in the metaphor that your chest symbolizes: how deep in the closet you actually are. For a fleeting moment you contemplate throwing it all away, because you never want to do it again, but you know by now that doing so is pointless, because the urges will slowly build overtime, and you really don't want to buy a whole new wardrobe for the 5th time - so you shove it as deep into your closet as you can - you couldn't even be bothered to wipe off the dildo, for you needed it out of your sight that fast. Thankfully, the old drag queen at the wig shop informed you about the makeup-removing qualities of baby oil, and as you dab at your eyes with an oily paper towel, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. Look at those broad, manly shoulders. Those hairy, bulky arms leading into that stocky, brutish torso. Your Adam's apple jutting out past your vomit-inducing double chin, and above that your giant freakish nose, an assertive reminder, nigh graceful, so flawed it is painful, disdainful and shameful, so recklessly harmful and tastelessy resentful, creatively shaping the mentality, assuredly disturbing yet compelling, and it is telling you that you are a gross, tall, muscular man that will never pass for a pretty girl. Assigned Miserable At Birth. Oh how you wish you were a pretty girl. At least you have those full, lucsious, red lips. Those lips could use some lipstick... Cue Cheesy Late Night Infomercial Did any of that sound familiar, and at times unbearably accurate? If you answered yes, than you might have AGP. AGP stands for Autogynephilia, which means "the attraction to the thought of oneself as a woman." Why is this happening to you? I don't know, but something fucked up probably happened to you when you were very young. So always try to remember that it's not your fault that you're this way, you sick, twisted fuck. You're in good company here, because we all have the agp, and all the fucked up baggage that comes with it, and this is a place for like minded men to get together and support each other. This is a bro-friendly zone, where we understand that women's underwear simply offers better support down there, and there is no reason to look into it any further than that. "The pink pair was on sale that day. Is that lace? I hadn't noticed that until you pointed it out. No, I didn't know about the little bows either, you weirdo. I am not blushing. Get outta here before I kick your ass, I have beers to drink and sports to watch!" Congratulations if you've made it this far. There is a lot of fluff to navigate through and hardly any substance, like a cleverly constructed, mostly grammatically correct skeleton, devoid of any meat on them bleached, bone-dry bones. If you are confused, good. I want you to be confused so you know how I feel. Feel the pain and anguish. Feel the shrinkage as it goes inside you. I know I'm being overly cruel, but that's just how I roll. I'm the kind of dude that will take over 2 hours to construct the very wordy sentence in the last paragraph, even though it was completely unnecessary. Am I an Autistic- Pansexual-Furry Psychopath with ADHOCD and a very questionable hobby of pulling the head off on one doll and placing it on the body of another? Probably not. But I digress, here's my definitive guide to NAVIGATING AGP IN THE YEAR 2020. 1 - PROCEED WITH CAUTION It's a scary world, and it's not letting up. The sociopolitical shit is about to hit the extinction fan. The shows almost over here on planet Earth, and the final act appears to be arguing over personal pronouns and pointing fingers while victimizing ourselves. That is very sad and not at all surprising. The story of humanity got stale many seasons ago, just like The Walking Dead. Who knows how many episodes are left before we are cancelled? That is why it is best to stay here, on r/askagp - or as I call it: The Real World. Not the sugarcoated world of r/MTF or r/asktransgender or (shudder) r/egg_irl. These subreddits are best descibed with a cringeworthy newspeak word like "toxic" or "cringeworthy". You will surely become the newest initiate to the TRANS-CULT and will regurgitate the same, unrealistic mantras they all spew over there, including (but not limited to) "You are Valid" "AGP isn't real. Besides, every woman has AGP already. UwU" "You can be an anime girl if you pretend hard enough." "That's not an erection. That's gender euphoria!" "I used to think it was a fetish too, but that was before I abandoned logic and rationality." "Happy Gay Sounds" Don't fall for the trap. They will tell you that you can be anything you want to be. You can be yourself - you can live as your true, authentic self, just don't question anything, and blindly repeat the same bullshit - or be banned. They will tell you that you can be happy. Yeah, right. No, you can't. The truth is, you will probably be miserable for most of your life when you finally accept the fact that 2 YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN Sorry bro, but you can't just speak things into reality. Your genetic makeup gives you away. I know it's hard to argue with concrete logic such as "I felt like a girl because I am a girl." Honestly, I don't understand how one can achieve the mental gymnastics possible to actually believe this liberal bullshit. That being said, I've seen some really fine, passing transwomen on the youtube. I think one of them is named Shoe. Yeah, she is hot. She can be a woman. There are quite a few hot ones. They can all be women. Just not you, you will never make the cut. Alright, I'm being a little harsh - if you are still young, you might have a chance. If you are 20 years old or younger, and you really want to be a woman, and you look hot and it makes you happy then fine... 3. MAYBE YOU ARE A WOMAN, AFTER ALL. And you can get the hell out of my post right now. Ok? This isn't for you. This is for miserable, confused dudes that are old and fat. Not for spry, youthful lads such as yourself. Now go be a beautiful woman somewhere else! You're a distraction, and you contradict my hateful outlook. So scram. Never, ever return. Great. Now that all the good looking young guys, that will soon be great looking young gals, that take great care of bulky alpha men, and are actually living out the fantasy that's been in my head since I was a child - and I long for it more everyday - have gone, we can move forward. Those young transitioners don't have to worry about being mis-gendered, or everybody staring at them like they feel sorry for them, and they are beautiful, sexy women. So what? I don't even care because I don't even want that. I think it's stupid. Because we are all men here. Which brings me to my next point.... 4 IF YOU ARE STILL HERE, YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN Some of you may have just learned about agp, and want to know what to do about it, because you want to live life as a man. And while you want the life of a man, for some reason, whenever you touch yourself, all that goes out the window and now you want to live the life of a cock-sucking, young bimbo-slut. Confusing way to be, indeed. And then many of us have long known about agp and the lifelong struggle with our sexuality. You are in the right place, because this subreddit is where we come up with ways to manage agp. Many of us share in the belief that we can live fulfilling lives as MEN with agp. That is my personal belief. It is not so simple for everyone, however. Some men truly long for transition, but know that they can never pass. Some of us are cursed with being very masculine. Tall, muscular men whose 5 o' clock shadow is there by noon. And yes it sucks that your desires can never truly come to fruition. But do they really need to? Do you absolutely have to live as a woman, 100% of the time, to be happy? If you are convinced that you do, stop it!! Remember that it's never as great as it seems in your head. I have a feeling that a lot of men with agp don't even attempt to play out their fantasies before they dive headfirst into transitioning. Which is why you should 5 NEVER IGNORE YOUR AGP FOR PROLONGED PERIODS OF TIME This is a big one right here. In order to be healthy we must indulge our agp from time to time. This is so necessary, and I believe much healthier in the long run. You can't ignore your agp forever. It won't go away - it won't ever go away. Not permanently, at least. But you will find that satisfying the urge occasionally will provide temporary relief. This is contrary to a belief many men have that cause them to fear their agp. They think that if they indulge in it, they will want to go deeper and deeper and it will spiral out of control and they will be going to work in a pencil skirt and shoulder pads next week. I can't speak for everyone of course, but I think that it is possible to indulge in your feminine fantasies and not spiral out of control. Of course, lots of men do go overboard when they act out their agp-fueled fantasies. These are the men that hold it in for years. This is why you see all these older guys coming out as trans in their 40's. The men who have a wife and kids, and seem like manly men, that shock everyone by announcing they are women. That's what will happen when 30 years of pent up sexual frustration boils over - it tends to erupt like a volcano. These men even keep their desires a secret from their wives. They might feel ashamed about it, and quite frankly, I feel sorry for generations past, because it was harder to be honest with oneself about it. This is something we need to work on putting an end to in this modern day and age. 6 GET SEXY. Lots of posts on askagp come from a place of hopeless desperation. Men don't know what to do about this, and they are being driven crazy by the feelings. For those of you that share my belief: "I am a man and I will never be a woman" - it is a reality that can be very depressing. And passing is a huge deal for any transwoman. Would you really want to transition if you knew you likely would never pass? I personally could not handle everybody pretending I am a woman in my presence, and laughing at me behind my back. Well, we presently have a lot of men doing just that, and demanding that the rest of society encourage their delusions of being a woman. The best way to avoid the fate I just described is by FEMINIZING YOURSELF in your personal life. As much as necessary. Hell, if you feel the need to shave and put on a pair of heels every night when you get home from work, so be it. Most people agree that you can go crazy with it in the privacy of your own home. Do you really need to bring it to the world stage? How badly do you need validation from others? Which reminds me, do you think I'm rambling? Am I a good writer? If I don't get at least 10 upvotes for this post everyone will think I'm a loser! Gahhh I hate myself!I hate myself!I hate myself! Simon Cowell eating Gordon Ramsey's penis! Simon Cowell eating Gordon Ramsey's penis! Slutty beardy nipple dildo!!!!! (Violent screaming trailing off into quiet sobbing) I'm sorry Dad. I'm sorry I'm not enough Dad. I'm SORRY I FUCKED UP EVERYTHING, DAD!!1! (Prolonged period of awkward silence) 7 IGNORE THAT, EVERYTHING IS FINE. Invest in quality makeup, wigs, clothing, accessories, breastforms or whatever it takes to get close enough to what you desire to be. Agp is something you must indulge in as often as necessary, as to prevent anything drastic. Anyone that has abstained for prolonged periods of time can attest to the urges becoming unbearably strong. That's when you find yourself explaining to little Johnny that "Daddy" is now "Mommy". That's a conversation I would avoid. It also helps if you 8 DOCUMENT YOUR SEXY TIME Make sure to take lots of pictures and videos when you are en femme. You can look back on your photos with nostalgia and use them to fend off future urges. A weeks worth of dressing can provide a years worth of relief from urges if you take lots and lots of photos and videos. Then you can obsess for hours on end over editing the photos to make you appear even prettier! Furthermore, it is of great benefit and highly recommended that you 9 CREATE AN ONLINE PROFILE FOR HER Posting pictures online and seeing men lust after you is very validating, and in my opinion a must for living with agp. It's almost like you're a woman full time, when you have enough pictures. Between occasional feminization and managing your online persona, you should be able to get your agp under control, while living the majority of your life as a dude. Nothing quite like flirting with a man over instant messenger, who is jacking off to pictures of you in drag, while you're at home wearing a wifebeater and gym shorts, taking a dump and scratching your unshaven face. Telling some random dude online to "fuck me harder!" and "treat me like a whore, Daddy!" while you are thinking to yourself "what the fuck is wrong with me?" 10 JUST BE NORMAL, DAMMIT. Be honest about your agp with your significant other. I mean, don't tell them on the first date or anything, but also don't hide if from them. If the person you are in a commited relationship is not ok witn you indulging in your agp, you need to drop 'em as fast as possible. Seriously, don't be with someone you aren't sexually compatible with. Be a good lover to them, and they will be a good lover to you, and want to indulge in your fantasy with you. AGP needs to play a role in your relationship, and once you get over the initial awkward phase, your life will be so much better for it. We all deserve to be happy in this life. Some of us need to be seen as women sexually sometimes. Make AGP a normal part of your routine and have some fun with it. Hope to see you back for my next article in 2030: "Why you should have transitioned 10 years ago, dummy." [–]to [deleted] sent 1 year ago this is kinda stupid, but your writing piece on AGP was enlightening. I'm just 19 and probably what you'd put under your "just go away" section, but i resonated with what you wrote (especially the daddy issues lol), and just wanted you to know that you're a fucking fantastic writer. This is coming from someone that's basically used books as a replacement for friends in the past decades. Reading something written by someone whose understood the way I've felt for longer than me made me feel understood, like the pain I feel every day isn't some unique brand of torture, but just something I have to deal with. Thank you. permalink [–]from [deleted] sent 1 year ago Hey, thanks for the kind words! It makes me really happy that you could relate, and even learbed something! That has exceeded any expectations I had. And you're only part of the "just go away" crowd if you are planning on transitioning. Or maybe you have already? Nothing wrong with that, although I tend to discourage that for agp dudes, but it really depends. I think it is overly glamourized in this current society when it should really only be done as a last resort. But like I said, everyone is different and many agp transwomen out there are loving it. Glad you could relate, I'm just about twice your age. It gets easier. Well, it will probably get harder first, and then... get even harder after that. Someday it might get easier. I dunno. Fuck..