[2019/05/20 16:46] Catandaguin Resident: idk if you blocked me but if you can see this can i talk to you please

[2019/05/20 16:48] Joshy (beefies): why

[2019/05/20 16:48] Omen (catandaguin): i just want to fix things

[2019/05/20 16:52] Joshy (beefies): ok

[2019/05/20 16:52] Omen (catandaguin): is it okay if i call you

[2019/05/20 16:54] Joshy (beefies): i'd rather not

[2019/05/20 16:55] Omen (catandaguin): even if you just listen please its easier for me to get my feelings across by talking than by text

[2019/05/20 16:55] Joshy (beefies): and it's easier for me the other way around

[2019/05/20 16:55] Omen (catandaguin): you dont have to talk, you can just type

[2019/05/20 16:56] Joshy (beefies): still not comfortable with it

[2019/05/20 16:56] Omen (catandaguin): alright
[2019/05/20 17:00] Omen (catandaguin): i just want to fix things, this is all incredibly difficult to deal with. i really, really messed up and i know i went too far in my desperation and i hurt both you and orb with what i did. i dont know if he or you want to forgive me or even care to. but i am really sorry for what i did. it wasnt my intention obviously to hurt orb, i guess with how things were he just kind of got caught up in it by being there. i messed up his party and i know i cant take that back or fix it but i am truly sorry for doing that. you guys have both forgiven grim for a lot of things, and given them a lot more chances, and idk maybe thats because you have been friends with them longer but... i just want to be given another chance. im not asking you to be super close best friends with me or anything, you dont have to. i just dont want to deal with this weird awkwardness whenever grim wants to hang out with me and youre there so i cant, or vice versa. its really hard to deal with.
[2019/05/20 17:02] Omen (catandaguin): i dont know if you understand or even care to understand or if you guys will just see it as me making an excuse for my behavior but my relationship with grim was really bad. i dont know why you told beans it was all me but it wasnt, you were there the whole time and saw everything grim said and did to me. it really hurt that you would side with them as soon as you decided you disliked me, and just admit to everything. i dont know if youll care about my feelings at this point but i thought maybe if i just say everything ive been thinking and feeling it would help. i dont know if it matters at all
[2019/05/20 17:03] Omen (catandaguin): i havent been good, i havent been a good person or a good friend for a long time and i guess it just got worse and worse as i spiraled lower and lower and im really truly sorry that you and orb had to see that and get caught up in it. and like i said, i understand if you still refuse to try to forgive me or give me another chance still. i just wanted to try

[2019/05/20 18:05] Joshy (beefies): you caught me at a pretty bad time since i've not been doing well mentally today or for the past several days so i'm not really sure how to process any of this rn. it feels more like you want to try and make things right just so you can come hang out here more often and not have to worry about me being here and i honestly just really don't care if you are here i just don't want to interact with you, i've tried being courteous already by just staying in my house whenever i notice you're on sim with everyone else. and unrelated but if you want to apologize to orb for anything then you should just do it directly because i don't like being the middleman
[2019/05/20 18:05] Joshy (beefies): i don't really know what else to tell you but i've been through too many shitty friendships and have too many built up trust issues to want to give most people a second chance the moment they want forgiveness, i don't know if that makes me cruel or bad but i'd like to just avoid being abused again. you really fucked up with that spying shit and showed how selfish you really are, and this just feels selfish too.

[2019/05/20 18:09] Omen (catandaguin): i dont know how to show you that its not about hanging out there, if im not welcome there just because you guys all live there then thats fine. ill stay away if youre more comfortable with that. its really not about that, its about you and orb, and the fact that i want to fix things with you guys, and that i really mean it
[2019/05/20 18:10] Omen (catandaguin): and yes ive wanted to talk to him too but i dont know how. im pretty sure hes just... not wanted anything to do with me either and probably blocked me on everything. theres no way i could reach him even if i really wanted to
[2019/05/20 18:11] Omen (catandaguin): also... im not just apologizing to him anyways, i am to you too, because i know i messed up really bad
[2019/05/20 18:13] Omen (catandaguin): i understand that you have been through a lot with bad people and i know i definitely didnt make things any better for you. again, i know i messed up. really badly. i know it just kept getting worse and worse and i couldnt really stop it, i kept getting pushed further and further with how bad grim was treating me and it was making me a terrible person to be around and a terrible friend and i know that isnt really your fault, i know you did some stuff too but this isnt really about that right now. im not asking you to apologize for it right now or anything
[2019/05/20 18:14] Omen (catandaguin): its not really about being like... idk. its not the second i want forgiveness because if it were that, you would have forgiven me like immediately after when i messaged you but i know you couldnt and didnt want to. i understand you didnt want to deal with it or with me and i know you couldnt trust me either. i get that. honestly
[2019/05/20 18:15] Omen (catandaguin): i just dont think its fair to take this one really awful thing i did and make it my entire judge of character. you knew me way before i did that, before i got that bad, we were close friends. you used to come to me for things all the time, and id do the same for you. i cant change what ive done already, i cant change the past, and i know that.
[2019/05/20 18:16] Omen (catandaguin): like... youve forgiven grim for things too. theyve done a lot to hurt you in the past but you still became friends again. and they forgave you for calling them bad stuff and talking to people about them right? thats why youre close again
[2019/05/20 18:17] Omen (catandaguin): but i cant be afforded the same thing? you cant forgive me for something i did when i was at probably my lowest point?

[2019/05/20 18:17] Joshy (beefies): there's a difference between the situation with you and the situation with grim tho lol

[2019/05/20 18:17] Omen (catandaguin): what is it?

[2019/05/20 18:20] Joshy (beefies): they severed ties with me on their terms super abruptly after we had been friends for 3-4 years beforehand and i didn't really have any idea why and was pretty sad over it. and then it was a little over a year before they wanted to talk to me again. i severed ties with you because you selfishly broke everyones trust and triggered some of us pretty badly because you were paranoid and now you're trying to talk to me again about it 4 months later when i dont really want much to do with you. and now you're trying to make me feel guilty for not forgiving you ??

[2019/05/20 18:21] Omen (catandaguin): im not trying to make you feel guilty
[2019/05/20 18:21] Omen (catandaguin): i just didnt understand
[2019/05/20 18:22] Omen (catandaguin): you dont have to forgive me
[2019/05/20 18:22] Omen (catandaguin): i just wanted to try
[2019/05/20 18:23] Omen (catandaguin): im sorry
[2019/05/20 18:23] Omen (catandaguin): thank you for giving me a chance to talk at all

[2019/05/20 18:24] Joshy (beefies): you can apologize as much as you want but if you want any forgiveness then i'll give it to you on my own terms
[2019/05/20 18:24] Joshy (beefies): anyway Charles#0131 is orb's username on discord right now. he's willing to talk

[2020/01/29 03:59] Second Life: You have blocked this Resident. Sending a message will automatically unblock them.