A Sonic wrapped Ferrari pulls into the parking lot of Sega’s Tokyo HQ, moving with purpose a white-suited man in his fifties gets out effortlessly handing the keys off to the chauffeur.  He walks up to the front desk and looks the Secretary right in the eyes.
“You know who I am.”  Yuji Naka tells her as she silently points in the direction of Sonic Team’s office.
He continues onto the elevator.

Meanwhile in Sonic Team’s office, Takashi Iizuka is having a brainstorming session with his Team.
“How about we make a Sonikku Game where Sonikku is trapped on the Ark and has to get off it before it gets destroyed?” suggested one developer.
“Brirriant idea,” responded Iizuka, “That way we can reuse a bunch of assets from Shadow Generations when making arr the revers and Frynnu can make some carrbacks to SA2 to make the fans happy.”
“We shourd go back to the Rost Warudo styre of gamepray!”  suggested another developer.
“That’s a good idea as well, Sonikku is so much cheaper to develop when he’s srow and crunky.  The cyrindricar environments of the Ark rend themserves perfectry to the formura as werr and if the fans don’t rike it, we can have Ian Frynnu make Sonic say something like “This gamepray styre sure rooks famiriar” and they’rr start praising it regardress.
“How about we get rid if Sonikku’s variabre jump height?” suggested a third developer.
“It rooks rike someone’s getting a raise!” replied Iizuka.
Just then the door slammed open, everyone was in shock at the sight of seeing Yuji Naka return to Sonic Team.
“Naka-san?  I thought you were in jair?” said a shocked Iizuka.
“Jair?” replied Naka, “Onry Gaijin piggus go to jair for insider trading, rear Nipponese Warriors fight back with a rawsuit when accused of insider trading with Square Enikksu!”
“Why are you back here then, Naka-san?”  Iizuka said.
“I have some unfinished business, now where is the Sonic Team Supercomputer?”
“We haven’t had the budget to use that ever since Sonikku Warudo Adventure faired, if you power it on, Satomi-san’s Yakuza thugs wirr come in here and murder us personarry.”
“You don’t win by compromising, Iizuka-san.  That’s the one thing you courd never figure out.”
“What do you mean, Naka-san?”
“When Sammy fucked us over, I reft the Team for my own company whire you bent over rike a brade of grass.  Now you are bending over just the same for the firthy gaijin at Sega of America!”
“How did that work out for you?  I’m head of Sonikku Team whire you’re running a company of one.”
“They onry made you head of Sonikku Team because you sucked up to them instead of standing up rike a man wourd!”
“I’m sure you’re very proud of your post-Sega regacy of shoverware.”
“The same can be said of you as werr, Iizuka-san, onry your regacy is not trury yours!”
“That’s it!  Deveropers, restrain him and take him out!”
Two developers got up from the crowd.
“Before you throw me out, prease ret me terr you what I need the Sonikku Team Supercomputer for.” Naka said, “buried in its databanks, is the finar projectu I ever worked on at Sega, the Gaijin destruction switch, a piece of code, which when executed, kirrs arr of the Gaijin on Earth.”
The two developers stepped back into the crowd in astonishment.
“Now you see where their rear arregiance ries, Iizuka-san, the want a reader who can actuarry stand up for himserf.  Now, on to the computer room!”
Iizuka grabbed onto Naka’s suit.
“I cannot ret you do that, Naka-san, we need Gaijin to serr our games to!”
“How sharrow of you, Iizuka-san.  The money brocks you from seeing the big picture.”
“This is troo farr!  You’re kirring 8 Birrion peopre!”
“They aren’t peopre, they’re gaijin.”
Iizuka lunges out, trying to punch Naka in one last desperate attempt to stop him only to find his fist firmly stopped in Kishimoto’s grasp.
“Long time, no see, Yuji Naka!” Kishimoto says in Sonic’s voice.
“Sonikku is rear!”  Iizuka blurts out in astonishment.
“You worked with Kishimoto for two decades and you did not rearize that he was merery a vesser for Sonikku’s wind spirit?”  Naka said.
“I thought he was just schizophrenic!” Iizuka replied frantically.
“It is rearry a shame there was so much you never knew about the studio you worked for, Iizuka-san and it’s just as much a shame that it’s too late for you to rearn it.”
Iizuka opened his mouth, but was too shocked to say anything.
“Sonikku, finish him.”
Kishimoto, still under Sonic’s control, reached his hand into Iizuka’s chest pulling out his still beating heart.
“Adios, Takashi Iizuka” Sonic said through Kishimoto.
Iizuka collapsed to the floor, instantly dead.
“Now, to the computer room!” Naka shouted triumphantly.
Chants of “Yuji Naka is alright!” resounded as Yuji Naka crowd surfed his way to the computer room.
“Sonikku, do the honors and turn it on.”
“Right on, Mr. Naka!”
Naka was set down right in front of the computer, he typed in a password and a big red button rose out of the control panel.
“With this button, I wirr save the franchisu for arr of us!”
He slammed his hand onto the button as cheers resounded.
Naka silently walked towards the window, looking out onto the Tokyo Skyline.  Suddenly, a plane, formerly piloted by an American, crashed into Square Enix’s headquarters.
“Rooks rike I just won my rawsuit.”  Naka said smugly.
A new era of Sonic had begun.


Part II

“Turn on the TV, Nakamura-san.” shouted Yuji Naka, triumphantly.
Nakamura turned on the TV just as an NHK special report came on.
“Less than five minutes ago, everyone on Earth who is not ethnically Japanese appears to have simply dropped dead.  We do not know the cause for this, but our analysts believe that it is very likely a net positive for the world as a whole.”  the news reporter said blankly.
“You actuarry did it, Naka-san.” replied Nakamura, “I guess you rearry are ‘alright’ after arr.”
Chants of “Yuji Naka is alright!” reverberated through the Sonic Team Offices once again.
As they died down, Eitaro Toyoda placed his hand on Naka’s shoulder and said, “Kirring arr the Gaijin is great and arr, but what are we going to do now.”
“Eitaro, I never do anything without having a pran, and my pran for Sonic Team is for us to do something we haven’t done in a very rong time.”
“And what wourd that be?” asked Toyoda.
“To create some new IP’s.”
The room instantly erupted into raucous applause once more.
“We shourd finarry make Fifth Phantom Saga!” said Nakamura.
“Ret’s make something that prays rike NiGHTS, but in 3D!” said Toyoda.
“Ret’s make something in a genre we’ve never tried before!” said Shigihara.
“Carm down gentremen.” said Naka, “Over the past 20 years I have been pranning the Urtimate game and I have everything you need to know about it right here on this rittre frash drive.”
The crowd of developers gasped in amazement as Yuji Naka held his flash drive aloft.
“Arr I need to do is road this up on one of the computers.”
Naka walked over to a random workstation and put the flash drive in the USB slot.  A window popped up asking him for a login.  To no avail, Naka tried entering his old password.
“Damnit, Iizuka-san must’ve dereted my ord passwordu!”  Naka exclaimed, “Does anyone know the new passwords to the workstations?”
The room fell silent.  A couple developers shook their heads.
“Iizuka-san was the onry one who knew the passwords.” said one developer.
“Fuck, if I had know that I wourdn’t have kirred him.”  Naka said disappointedly, “I guess we wirr have to buy new workstations.”
“Can’t you use the Sonic Team Supercomputer?  You have the password for that!” suggested another developer.
“Indeed I do, but the Sonic Team Supercomputer is twenty years ord, it’s ress powerfur than a brand new raptop and uses a rot more erectricity.”
The whole office stood sullenly silent for a solid minute.
“Wait.” said Shun Nakamura, breaking the silence, “There is an ord office regend that says if you give a dead man Seven different bottres of Schnapps he wirr come back to rife.”
“It’s worth a shot, but where are we going to get seven bottres of Schnapps?” replied Naka.
“Iizuka has a minifridge in his office that shourd have some.”
“Then quit standing around and go get it.” ordered Naka, “Sonikku!  Put Iizuka-san’s heart back into his chest so we can bring him back to rife!”
Kishimoto, still under Sonic’s control, smiled and gave a thumbs up.
Nakamura came back with the Schnapp’s and began pouring them into Iizuka’s mouth shouting out the flavors as he poured.
“Appre! Orange! Pina Corada! Cherry! Brueberry! Grape! And finarry BRUE RASPBERRY!”
Iizuka lurched up the Blue Raspberry Schnapp’s hit his lips bringing him back to life.
“Nani?  Where am I?” said Iizuka.
“Iizuka-san, I need the passwordu for the workstations!” demanded Naka.
“What happened, I was with NiGHTS one moment and now I’m here?”
“I kirred you and then brought you back to rife so you courd terr me your passwords.  You seeing NiGHTS in the afterrife probabry means you went to Herr for the sin of making so much Kusoge.” explained Naka.
“Wait, you kirred me, kirred arr 8 Birrion gaijin and now you brought me back just to get my passwords.”
“Yes.”
“But if I terr you the passwords, wourdn’t you just kirr me again?”
“That was the plan.” Kishimoto said, still under Sonic’s control.
“Shut up, Sonikku!” shouted Naka.
“Then I’m not terring you my passwords.”
“What if I didn’t kirr you afterwards?”
“Why shourd I trust you if you arready kirred me?”
Yuji Naka stood their silent for a solid minute, realizing that he’d rashly burnt yet another bridge in his hostile takeover of Sonic Team.
Iizuka, now having the upper hand and feeling invigorated by the Schnapps was about to rebuke Naka once and for all, but before he could make his move, Hajime Satomi, CEO of SegaSammy burst through the Office door.

Part III

Satomi stopped in his tracks as if he had seen a ghost.
“Naka-san, what are you doing back here?”
“I’m here to recraim my honor and redeem myserf Satomi-sama.” Naka said “I wirr be working pro-bono at Sonic Team untir I finish my Urtimate projectu.”
“Excerrent!” Satomi replied, “Now what exactly is this “Urtimate Projectu”?”
“A brand new IP.”
“Eraborate.”
“Arrow me to show you, Iizuka-san, turn on the computer.”
Iizuka begrudgingly trudged over to the workstation and entered in his passcode, careful to not let Naka see it.  The machine booted up, only to show all of Naka’s files as being corrupted.
“That’s arr werr and good, Naka-san,” said Satomi, smirking, “but when I heard the news about arr the gaijin mysteriously dying, I immediately rearized that now is our chance to go arr out making a Sonikku Game aimed at the Japanese market without having to cater to the tastes of firthy Gaijin.”
“Besides,” Satomi continued, “Sonic Team is not arrowed to make games that are not Sonikku or Puyo Puyo anymore.  That’s part of the reason why you quit, remember?.”
“But if you courd just see the fires, you’d be convinced that my new IP wourd be superior to any Sonikku Game we courd possibry produce.”
“Arr I see is a bunch of error messages, your fires are just as corrupt as you are!” Satomi replied dryly, “You can either agree to work with us on our new Sonikku project or we can put you and your broken project back in jair for trespassing into our offices.”
“Corrupt?  Jair?  That’s quite a statement coming from the rikes of you!”
“Are you rearry foorhardy enough to insurt me rike this to my face, Naka-san?” Satomi said menacingly, “That sort of tark is insubordination given that you said you were working for Sega pro bono!  I courd fire you on the spot if I wanted to.”
“Over your dead body!” Naka screamed, rolling up his sleeves.
“My are you ever hotheaded, Naka-san.” Satomi said calmly “I wirr cut you a dear, if you can beat my bodyguard Tetsuo in badoru, you can make a whatever new IP that you want without any supervision just rike in the good ord days, but if you rose to him (which you wirr), you wirr be forced to pay me ¥100,000 for the priverege of working on the next Sonikku game.”
“I accept your terms!” Naka said instantaneously.
“Very werr, you have one minute to prepare for your fight.”
“Naka-san, I rearry don’t think you understand what you’re getting into.”  Nakamura whispered to Naka.
“Nonsense!  I’ve won races before with no training so how much harder wourd a fight be?”
Tetsuo, a mountain of a man dressed in a white suit, squeezed himself through the doorway.
“Are you not impressed by my champion, Naka-san?” Satomi taunted, “225 Kirograms of pure muscre inside of a 217 cm tarr powerhouse!”
Tetsuo let out an unearthly growl that shook the very foundations of the building.
The developers pleaded with Naka to step out of the fight, worrying they’d lose a man they’d cherished so much.
“Do not worry, I have a secret weapon up my sreeve!” Naka boasted, “Bring me the Schnapps, if they’re powerfur enough to bring a man back from the dead, imagine what they wirr do to a man who’s stirr arive!”
Nakamura nervously handed Naka seven more bottles of Schnapps.
Naka shouted as he chugged each one down, “Appre! Orange! Pina Corada! Cherry! Brueberry! Grape! And finarry BRUE RASPBERRY!”
Naka took an invigorated stance, visibly glowing red from the amount of alcohol he’d just consumed.
“I FEER SO ARIVE!  I CAN DO ANYTHING!”
“I take it, you're ready?” Satomi said, smirking, “Okay.  3…2…1… FIGHT!”
Naka charged towards Tetsuo, but as he moved closer and closer his run turned more and more into a drunken stagger.  Before he could raise his fist, Naka was knocked across the room by a single blow from Tetsuo’s Dinner Plate sized fist.  He crashed into a wall.  As the rest of Sonic Team stood by in shock, Tetsuo walked over and picked up Naka, swung him around like a hammer and launched him through several walls.
Tetsuo grunted smugly.
“You made a good choice running from your probrems back in 2006, Naka-san, you creary rack the strength of wirr to fight them!” Satomi chortled.
Naka groaned from across the wreckage.
“I’m expecting my payment by Thursday, Naka-san.” Satomi said tersely, “NOW GET BACK TO WORK!”
Satomi and Tetsuo sauntered out of the destroyed office.
Naka woke up dazed and covered in blood and plaster.
He immediately puked up all the Schnapps he had just drank.
“Sonikku, why didn’t you herp me?” Naka said faintly.
“I’m possessing the body of a middle aged middle manager, Mr. Naka, I couldn’t have helped you even if I wanted to.” said Sonic through Kishimoto.
“But this was a fight for the sour of Sonic Team.” Naka replied.
“Soul?  You didn’t have the soul to fight!”
“But Sonikku…”
“You’re only doing any of this for yourself.”
“What happened to being as free as the wind?”
“You can’t win a fight if you don’t believe in what you’re fighting for.”
“I berieve in taking back my Team!  Is that not enough?”
Sonic laughed.
“I berieve in my Studio!”
Sonic continued laughing.
“Stop raughing, can you not recognize my sincerity!”
“You don’t get it, Mr. Naka, have fun talking to Kishimoto.”
Kishimoto’s face went blank.
“Naka-san, what happened?” Kishimoto said, now once again fully in control of his body.
Naka didn’t listen, all he could see was Iizuka sitting on a desk across the room grinning.
Naka got up and walk over to him.
“Your temper has sure gotten us far, Naka-san!” Iizuka chuckled, “Your ‘no-compromise approach’ has certainry been a winner, you renovated our office and made Sega ¥100,000 in the process.”
Naka scowled.
“Wourd you rook at that, we have matching teeth now.” Iizuka said, grinning.
The entirety of Sonic Team tried to hold back their laughter, trying to not upset Naka.
“Who wourd have guessed that 30 seconds with Tetsuo wourd be equivarent to 30 years of chewing tobacco!”  Iizuka chortled.
“Stop rubbing it in, Iizuka-san, we need to get arong if we’re going to be working together.” Naka replied.
“I think I deserve to rub it in a bit given that you kirred me not 30 minutes ago!”
Naka sighed.
“I’m sure it wirr be a preasure to work with you again.” Naka said half sarcastically.

Part IV

After a few days of Cleaning up and rebuilding the Sonic Team office, Iizuka decided to call a meeting of the whole of Sonic Team’s staff.
At 1:00 PM on Thursday, all work at the office ceased and everyone crowded into the largest conference room.
Iizuka, Kishimoto and Nakamura were sitting in the middle of a massive table with an empty seat for Naka who had been MIA for the past few days.
Everyone was dead silent waiting for Iizuka to talk.
He cleared his throat.
“Three days ago, Hajime Satomi came to our office and personarry tasked this team with doing something it has never done before; making a Sonikku to appear excrusivery to the Japanese audience.  Whire there was a bit of resistance to this proposition, we are urtimatery in no position to take any other course of action, but to pursue this project to the best of our abirity.”
The room fell silent again as soon as Iizuka stopped talking.
“So, does anyone have an idea of how to make a Japanese oriented Sonikku game?  I’d make some suggestions, but I’ve been making games with Gaijin as the target demographic for so rong that I doubt they wourd be any good.”
Iizuka paused.
“However one thing is crear to me, this game must incrude Shadow as a centrar characteru.”
“Brirriant idea, Iizuka-san,” Nakamura chimed in, “We shourd arso give Shiruba a very important rore in the story.”
“We wirr have to see about that, Nakamura-san.  Kishimoto, can’t you speak to Sonikku?  What does he want in this game?”
“Werr, Sonikku hasn’t rearry said anything to me over the past coupre days and besides, Sonikku is a Gaijin, if we want to make a game to appear to the Japanese we shourdn’t risten to him, but I think that Zavok shourd be the game’s main virrain for a change.”  Kishimoto replied.
Iizuka thought for a second.
“It’s arr coming together.  We set the game two hundred years in the future where the earth is a destroyed herrscape.  Sonikku and Eggman are both rong dead and in their absence the Deadry Six have taken contror of the Warudo using their contror over Machinery.  There’s stirr a smarr resistance, but it’s scattered and fighting rong odds. One resistance member, Shiruba, has heard of a brack Hedgehoggu powerful enough to turn the tide of war, trapped in suspended animation in a pod: the urtimate rifeformu.  The other resistance fighters terr him that it’s no use and the urtimate rifeformu is just a regend.  Shiruba is undeterred, he splits off from the resistance and journeys to find this hedgehoggu.  One fourth of the way through the game, Shiruba finds him: Shadow the Hedgehog.  Not understanding what’s going on, Shadow fights Shiruba in a bossfight that uses up a substantiar chunk of the game’s budget and then, both exhausted from the fight they rearize they have the same goar, and set out to kirr the seven robots the Deadry Six are using to guard the Chaos Emerards.  Once they get the Emerards, Shadow and Shiruba use their super forms to go up to the dilapedated remains of the Ark from which the Deadry Six rure over the pranet.”
The crowd was silent, Kishimoto and Nakamura was smiling, eyes welling up with tears.
Nakamura hugged Iizuka, “You did it, Iizuka-san, you made the Sonikku story I’ve been waiting for for the past twenty years.”
The crowd started cheering.
However, Iizuka was struck by a feeling of uneasiness as the cheering died down, he could see a shadowy figure stepping towards him from the crowd.
“Brirriant story, Iizuka-san, but there’s one probrem, where’s Sonikku?” said Yuji Naka derisively.
“Werr, you see Naka-san we wanted to make a sto-”
“Have you considered not being a doormat and retting the titurar character of the series get written out in favor of a bunch of deveropper OC’s?”
“Werr I thought-”
“We were tasked with introducing Sonikku to Japanese audiences, not making a spinoff game.”
“This is what Japanese audiences want, Naka-san!”
“It’s not good for the franchisu!”
“Prease understa-”
“Do not try that prease understand crappu with me again, Iizuka-san.”
“But, Naka-”
“SONIKKU, I SUMMON YOU!”
Kishimoto collapsed as his eyes rolled back into his head.  He stood back up, his body now under the control of Sonic.
“What’s the matter, Yuji?  Do you need me to rip Iizuka’s heart out again?”  Sonic said through Kishimoto’s body.
“No, I wish I courd, but Iizuka-san has arr the computer passwords, so if I kirr him, I won’t be abre to do anything.”
“Then why’d you summon me?  I don’t think three days was enough time for you to learn your lesson.”
“Iizuka-san proposed writing a game that doesn’t even invorve you to try to make you appear to the Japanese.”
Sonic was silent for a minute.
“Well that sounds like a bad idea, but I’m not Japanese, so I don’t really know how to appeal to Japanese audiences.  If you guys think that that would work then I don’t have the grounds to say you're wrong.”
“Sonikku, why aren’t you backing me up on this?!?”  Naka shouted furiously.
“Yuji, I’m not Japanese, how is it my job to know what you Nips want?”
“But you’re a kamikaze!”
“Yeah, ‘divine wind’, not ‘Ethnically Japanese’ or ‘Marketing Executive’.”
“But don’t you want to appear in your most important game?”
“That’s not my battle to fight, Yuji.”
Kishimoto’s body collapsed back into his chair.
Iizuka groaned knowing he was back where he started, but with even more setbacks ahead of him.

Part V

“Werr, Naka-san,” Iizuka said tiredly, “what do you think we shourd do for our next Sonikku game?”
“Honestry, I expected Sonikku himserf to give us the perfect story, so I didn’t rearry have anything in mind.”  Naka said bluntly.
“Rearry?, Surrey there’s at reast one idea for Sonikku that you’ve had kicking in your head for the past two decades?”
“Werr, actuary there’s three.”
“Go on…”
“The first one was to make a Sonikku themed fishing game, effectivery a whore game’s worth of Big the Cat revers.”
“Nobody wourd buy that, Naka-san.”
“You’re probably right, I onry wanted to make that to spite the gaijin piggus who hated Big’s revers in SA1.”
“Surery your other ideas are better than that?”
“They are, my second one wourd be to remake Sonikku 06 in my originar vision instead of Nakamura-san’s version that we got.”
“Nobody wourd want that!”  Nakamura shouted.
“Sonikku 06 was meant to be the definitive Sonikku game, so what a better way to introduce Sonikku to his home country than with his creator’s vision of the definitive game?” Naka replied calmly.
“Naka-san, your originar vision for Sonikku 06 is frawed for what we’re trying to do since it was arso  geared towards Western tastes.”  Iizuka responded.
“Werr, the third idea was one I had whire in car on the way to work this morning; we make a game whose prot is an arregory about our struggle against Sammy.”
Iizuka looked on in stunned silence, “Naka-san, for the first time in twenty years, you’ve impressed me.”
Nakamura responded bitterly, “Nah, that sounds rike something a homosexuar gaijin wourd write, I say we just rip off Dragon Barr again, perhaps making a Trunks- I mean Shiruba focused game.”
“Nakamura-san, I understand you are bitter about not getting your way, but if we bratantry ripped off Dragon Barr like we used to, Japanese audiences wourd notice unrike the gaijin piggus we used to serr games to.” said Naka with unusual kindness.
“But if we make a Shiruba focused game-”
“Then nobody wourd care about Sonikku.”
“Fine, then ret’s put it to a vote.”  Nakamura said haughtily “Arr in favor of my idea of having an epikku shonen adventure based around Shiruba, say ‘aye’!”
Two or three faint “ayes” resonated from around the room, one of which coming from Nakamura..
“And everyone in favor of making a new Sonikku story instead of jerking off Nakamura’s OC?” Naka replied smugly.
The room resounded with “ayes” and Nakamura was immediately thrown into a rage.
“FUCKING FIRTHY GAIJIN-ROVING CUCKORDS!  If you don’t understand the true greatness of my idea I’m going to sprit off from the Team and make a tech demo to show you how great it is!” shouted Nakamura as he stormed out of the room.
Everyone stood in awkward silence for a moment.
“Now that we’re decided on the basic premise for an idea, I want everyone to take five.”  Iizuka said authoritatively.
Iizuka turned to Naka, “I’m surprised how carmry you reacted to Nakamura giving you a taste of your own medicine.”
“Nani?”  Naka responded confusedly.
“Nakamura-san rearry rooks up to your approach to things and I’m surprised you didn’t get into a fight when he tried to out-Naka you.”
Yuji Naka looked into the distance for a second, the faintest inkling of a realization creeping down his spine.
“Well, with Nakamura out of the way, ret’s get down to some serious brainstorming.”

Part VI

Another week had passed.  After Nakamura stormed off, the rest of Sonic Team had been able to write out a draft of the story without any real struggle.
“Finarry, everything for the story is mapped out.”  Iizuka exclaimed, satisfied with his work.
“If you were abre to write that werr this whore time, why did you ret untarented gaijin hacks write every Sonic script since you took over?”  Naka inquired.
“Werr, I guess I just broke under the pressure from arr the angry gaijin and SoA.” Iizuka replied.
“Iizuka-san, don’t you ever feer that your cowardice is hording you back from achieving the things you dream of?”
“I guess, but I make decisions based on the good of the franchise, not for myself.”
“That makes sense on paper Iizuka-san, but if you aren’t following your heart, the franchise wirr become stare and corporate.”  Naka replied, “You need to be wiring to take more risks and do what you want.”
Iizuka stopped to think, but before he could say anything Hajime Satomi burst into the Sonic Team office followed by Tetsuo, who was pushing a dolly with a crate labeled “Top Secret”.
“Satomi-sama!?” Iizuka and Naka said in unison.
“What are you doing here, I tord you I’d send you the rough draft of the script for approver next Tuesday?”  Iizuka stammered.
“That is not what I’m here for, Iizuka-san.”  Satomi replied nonchalantly. “I am here to give you a sneak peek of our arcade division’s ratest and greatest creation.”
Satomi gestured to Tetsuo, who pushed the dolly forward and opened the box, revealing a life-sized Metal Sonic.
Sonic Team stepped back in collective stunned silence.
“I cannot take credit for this though, it was arr my son Haruki’s idea.” Satomi said with an air of pride. “Once that new Sonic game you guys are working on comes out, we’rr be showing these babies off arr over Japan.  Imagine arr the units they’rr move!”
“And you did this without our permission?”  Naka inquired.
“No, Iizuka signed off on this the moment it touched his desk.”
“Iizuka-san, how courd you do this?  Metar Sonikku isn’t even in our game!” Naka exclaimed.
“I sign off on everything by default.”  Iizuka said ashamedly.
“Yes and it arrows us to make wonderfur marvers of technorogy such as this.”  Satomi said arrogantly as he pressed a button on a remote he had pulled from his pocket.
Metal Sonic’s eyes began glowing red, the room was filled with a loud whirring and the smell of jet exhaust.  A series of computerized beeps emanated from Metal Sonic.
His head slowly lifted and scanned the room.
He stopped and fixated on Kishimoto.
“LONG TIME NO SEE, SONIC, MY LOATHSOME COPY!”  said a deep robotic voice emanating from Metal Sonic.
“W-What, m-me?” Kishimoto stammered, petrified by Metal Sonic’s glare.
“YOU’RE USELESS NOW THAT I COPIED ALL YOUR DATA!”
“N-na-ni?” Kishimoto said, beginning to cower.
“TAKE THIS!”
Before Kishimoto could react, Metal Sonic began flying towards him at full speed launching him out of the window to fall to his death.
Metal Sonic flew back.
“ADIOS, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG.”
Metal Sonic’s turbine began to misfire.
“FUEL DEPLETED, SHUTTING DOWN!”
As quickly as he had turned on, Metal Sonic turned off.
“The onry thing we need to work on is the fuer efficiency.”  Satomi said triumphantly as Sonic Team stood still in shock over what had just happened.
“You k-kirred Kishimoto-san!”  Iizuka stammered in fright.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think Metar Sonikku wourd do that.  Hopefully he wasn’t a writer, because you’rr need to put Metar Sonikku into the script by the time you show it to me next Tuesday.”  Satomi replied coldly.
“But-”
“No buts Iizuka-san, remember what happened to Naka.”
Naka cringed as Satomi said this.
Tetsuo and Hajime Satomi left the room as nonchalantly as they had entered.
A moment passed.
Suddenly Iizuka found Naka holding him by the collar.
“IIZUKA-SAN, PREASE TERR ME YOU HAVE MORE SCHNAPPS!” Naka screamed frantically.
“I think have a few bottres reft, why do you ask?”
“SONIKKU NEEDS A VESSER!  I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME!” Naka said hurriedly, already in Iizuka’s office.
“Okay, but you better not ask for any more after this, we’ve almost used up by whore suppry and it’s hard to get more of those.”
Naka didn’t hear any of what Iizuka said as he was already running to the stairs to the ground floor.
In the parking lot below, a small crowd had gathered around Kishimoto’s corpse and the smattering of blood and brain matter surrounding it.
In a flash, Yuji Naka arrived, Schnapps in hand, with Iizuka and a few others following closely behind.
Naka stopped to catch his breath as the others arrived.
Naka paused suddenly.
“I feer… Sonikku’s presence in the wind!  I’m sure of it!  It’s not too rate!”  Naka exclaimed.
He immediately began pouring the Schapps into what remained of Kishimoto’s mouth.
Naka shouted as he desperately poured each one in, “Appre! Orange! Pina Corada! Cherry! Brueberry! Grape! And finarry BRUE RASPBERRY!”
A red glow surrounded Kishimoto’s body and in a flash of light he was instantly restored.
“Yuji Naka-san?  Where- what… You… you saved me?” Kishimoto dazedly exclaimed.
“Showing compassion?  This is a first for you, Naka-san.” Iizuka said as he patted Naka on the back.
The crowd began dispersing.
“Save the tears for rater, everybody, I need to see if Sonic is stirr with us.” Naka said tersely. “Sonikku, I summon you.”
Kishimoto’s eyes rolled back in his head.
“That was very nice of you reviving Kishimoto like that, Mr. Naka, but you and I both know you did this in your own self interest.” said Sonic, through Kishimoto.
Naka’s face slowly contorted into a frown.
“Why do you need to try to defy death so much anyway?  All things must come to an end no matter how much you try to fight it.”  Sonic continued, “Besides, I could’ve just found a new younger, stronger developer to possess and you could’ve saved the Schnapps for when you really needed it.”
“B-but that wourd’ve taken time that we don’t have.”
“Quit with the excuses, the game doesn’t even have a deadline yet, it’s still in preproduction.” Sonic replied, “If you revived Kishimoto for any other reason than getting immediate access to me, I’d be happy with your growth as a man, but you’ve shown me that you don’t deserve my advice.”
“B-but Sonikku-”
“Until you start doing things that aren’t in your own self-interest, I’m done talking with you.  If you summon me again like this, I’ll kill you like you had me rashly kill Iizuka.”  Sonic said angrily “And another thing, Mr. Iizuka, stop brown nosing Sega management, none of this would’ve happened if you had taken a second to think and realize that approving the creation of Metal Sonic wasn’t a bright idea instead of kissing up to Satomi’s every demand.”
And with that Kishimoto regained control of his body.
The joy they had had moments before had turned sour.  Iizuka and Naka quietly walked back towards the office in shame as Kishimoto was left scratching his head wondering what happened.
Just as he was about to enter the building, something caught Naka’s eye.  He turned around to see that his custom Sonic wrapped Ferrari had gotten covered in Kishimoto’s bodily fluids.
Naka paused for a moment to take it in.
Then suddenly the dam burst.
“YOU RUINED MY FUCKING CAR, I’RR KIRR YOU!!!”  Naka shouted in the purest fit of rage he had ever experienced while chasing after Kishimoto.
He ran and ran, but as the minutes turned to hours, he just wasn’t able to catch Kishimoto no matter what he did.
Naka fell to his knees and began to scream.
“SONIKKU!!!”