Autistic virgin here. I've noticed that usually when I'm talking with a girl I have a tendency to avoid looking them in the eye for an extended period of time. Is this a big problem? Will gaining the skill to hold eye contact with girls help me get a gf, or are other things more important, like fitness? I guess I could work on both things at once, maybe this is a moot point I have encountered a few people (mostly men) who do the same thing with me, and they tend to be even more spergy and weak than me. In those cases I feel more comfortable looking them in the eye for longer periods of time, since they aren't looking back. Is this some kind of way to gain dominance or whatever.
I've always been fine with eye contact, just make sure its relaxed and not wide eyed staring.
Its mostly a sign of paying attention or interest. Not necessarily dominance. I guess practice would help.
No gf here, but I think other signs of confidence (and reasonable fitness) are more important.
Note: consider cultural differences of anons before blindly applying advice.
Eye contact isn't the golden ticket to getting laid you're looking for but it's certainly a good social skill to have. As above said, it shows you're paying attention. I've been in the same place (i.e. wondering if eye contact will help with the ladies) but I've found it's mostly just good for showing (or feinting) interest in a conversation, with either sex. Of course it can be used to assert dominance, sexual or otherwise, but not explicitly.
Short anecdote. Once I was on a successful date where her interest in me was obvious. I wanted to try out what I've always heard, namely that girls can't hold your gaze if they like you. So tried. And it worked; she blushed, smiled, and looked away. And after that day I was no longer a kissless virgin.
Refusing to drop eye contact is an ""aggressive"" thing to do. But don't do it because it's incredibly autistic and only makes people uncomfortable. In normal conversations eye contact comes and goes. You should maintain eye contact for a little while (maybe 5 or 6 seconds idk) then look away, but naturally. Think of eye contact like hand gestures. If your hands are just static and your side you look like a robot. Usually it's more natural to use hand gestures when having a conversation. Your eyes and where you're looking are like hand gestures. When you need to think about something you look usually away and upward to the left or right. When the other person starts talking about something it's okay to hold eye contact briefly then just kind of stare at something else for a bit while listening to them. It's a little bit difficult to explain as it comes quite naturally to me, but hopefully you get the gist of it.
>>6483 If you're trying to court a girl I would say you should maybe avoid being the first person to drop eye contact. This posts advice sounds solid. Like I said though, you don't want to look like you're trying to stare them down like they are prey. Casually looking at them and most importantly having a nice smile/casual smirk is very important to not looking like a creep. But if you're ugly and weird looking to begin with and don't take care of yourself you're probably going to repulse women no matter what facial gestures you try and use.
Try to stare at the bridge of their nose if you haven't already. It's much comfier for me and a lot of others. They can't tell the difference so long as there is about a meter seperating you.
[spoiler]Funnily, my current GF is even worse than me at making eye contact in general. She averts her eyes whenever I look into them because apparently "my charm makes her queasy" kek.[/spoiler]
>>6480 >>6483 >>6500 Solid advice.
>>6479 It's not that not being able to make eye contact with girls makes them not want to fuck you. It's that being the kind of person you are (which makes you unable to make eye contact with girls) makes them not want to fuck you. Making eye contact with girls isn't a skill, and lacking the ability to do so isn't a lack of skill, it's a symptom.
You need to destroy and remake yourself into a hunter whose quarry is pussy. When you do that, you'll make eye contact without even thinking about it. Until you do that, any eye contact you force yourself to make will be irrelevant.
Why are you fucking afraid of a girl? You could take her in a fight. Just know that you are better than her and that you could crush her at any moment if she tried to make fun of you.
I always look in the eye, this just happens naturally, and I am an autistic virgin. I also notice strong, dominant males avoid eye contact. Females too.
>>6511 >avoid
I almost always look at something or someone else when I'm talking, rarely talking directly to the person. But that's more haute bourgeoisie rather than me being strong alpha. Don't know about strong, dominant women. How do they look?
>>6501 >stare at the bridge of their nose
Would never cross my mind. This might sound weird but I'm an admirer of the beauty of the human eye to such a degree that I even admire men's eyes. No homo but it's true.
I'm the exact same way. The eye is the most beautiful part of the human body, platonically and otherwise.
I just can' act normally if I'm looking into someone's eyes, their too mesmarizing 99% of the time. Even if it's an ugly pair, it still leaves me awestruck in its uniqueness, typically.
Nice to have a good thread for once, afraid I've got nothing to contribute because I'm pretty autistic myself. I know the bare minimum to read emotions but that's about it.
It would be nice if psychologists actually studied interesting stuff like this instead of microaggressions and all that Bioleninist bullshit.
Eye contact is how you evaluate emotions and share emotion. The autistic way of knowing whether eye contact is appropriate is to think about the situation and consider if you should be either sharing emotion or not, and which emotion is appropriate for the context.
Shyness is fine too, and avoiding eye contact is appropriate if embarassed. The number one aspect of a healthy relationship is asserting your individuality while being conscious of the other person's feelings, and achieving an appropriate compromise for the social context.
Normalfags come to these things naturally, but as an autist, you will have to study them. What is "socially normal" is reinforced often by popular media, which is why the influence of the jew in popular media is so pernicious, because they change what is "normal" through constant repetition.
>>6644 Autists are drawn to cartoons and anime because the emotions shown by the characters are normalized, exaggerated and more easily read. Whatever expression is supposed to be depicted, there is a convention for it, so you can immediately relate to the simplified visual code. Slow-motion, freeze frame and zooming in all allow the viewer more time to process the expression to understand the emotion.
Real emotions can be much harder to see, with micro-expressions requiring both experience and good eyesight. Also, the amount of time the emotion might be expressed in the facial expression might only be a fraction of a second, which is too short of a time for an autist to interpret.
Practice it in front of a mirror and compare it to anime, and you will get something approaching a real facial expression.
This is normally learned through "mirroring" as a young child, and ordinarily taught by the parent, as children learn to match facial expressions (smiles, frowns, etc) first with their parents then their peer groups. Brain development or eyesight issues will obviously inhibit this learning and create "autistic" behaviors.
Depends how autistic you are. I've worked around some autos in the past. I'll never forget the death stare one gave me from across the room (kitchen). It was so disturbing, even if he had no intention of harming me. His glare was so intense it sent shivers down my back. Not only that, but also I could see his lips moving, he was speaking to himself as he focused on me. It was so terrifying I had to break his transe by yelling out his name. He stopped staring at me and turned around and continued to wash the dishes... Just wear dark glasses or something because if you're as bad as the one I mentioned, you're better off not talking to anybody, you're beyond help.
>>9423 >I have a tendency to avoid looking at people
I also do this, to the point where if I saw the photograph of an acquaintance I wouldn't recognize them because I've never looked at their face.
Autistic virgin here. I've noticed that usually when I'm talking with a girl I have a tendency to avoid looking them in the eye for an extended period of time. Is this a big problem? Will gaining the skill to hold eye contact with girls help me get a gf, or are other things more important, like fitness? I guess I could work on both things at once, maybe this is a moot point
I have encountered a few people (mostly men) who do the same thing with me, and they tend to be even more spergy and weak than me. In those cases I feel more comfortable looking them in the eye for longer periods of time, since they aren't looking back. Is this some kind of way to gain dominance or whatever.