PURRFECT SPIDER

THE MYSTERIES OF MAX 90

NIC SAINT

PURRFECT SPIDER

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Kill The Cat!

It isn’t every day that your home is transformed into a movie set, so when it happened to us, we weren’t prepared, to say the least. Gone were all of our favorite spots and so we had to find sojourn elsewhere. To top it off, the four of us were cast in the movie, to be mangled and murdered by a monstrous ghoul. Good thing it wasn’t real! The rest of the family was also in the movie. Even Gran, who played the role of the virgin, and was pretty happy with her part.

In the meantime an office building had been bombed in the business district, and a body found that had been buried there for the past fifteen years. But if we thought we’d be allowed to run the investigation, we had another thing coming. FBI agents Smith & Jones quickly took over and we were all sidelined. But that wasn’t how Chase saw it, and so he and Odelia continued their inquiries into the mysterious death, only this time as reporters for the Gazette and butting heads with the feds. The investigation soon put us on the trail of a ruthless killer and a determined bomber.

CHAPTER 1

Ihad been eyeing Dooley for a while and thought that he didn’t look as good as he should. It made me wonder if he could be ill. But since I didn’t want to cause concern, and I knew how much my friend hates those visits to the vet, I didn’t think it was prudent to clothe my thoughts in words, and so I figured I might simply observe him for a couple of days to see if his condition improved. If not, I saw no other recourse but to tell Odelia. But since essentially I’m an optimistic type of kitty, I was hopeful Dooley would soon rally.

Cats do sometimes get these off-days, just like humans. We go off our feed, or catch some bug, and it immediately shows in the state of our fur. Humans go pale and look as if they’re at death’s door, we look as if we’ve stopped grooming ourselves, which we have.

It’s a natural process and I knew I shouldn’t read too much into it. And as I closed my eyes again, I thought that maybe I should talk to Harriet, who is very sensitive about such things as personal appearance. Maybe she would have a few tips to make Dooley look right as rain again. After all, it could be a simple case of not getting enough sleep, or some personal issue he was struggling with. Dooley might be my best friend, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he confides in me about everything that’s going on with him.

“Max?” he asked suddenly.

“Mh?” I said, my eyes immediately flashing open again.

“That spider…”

“What spider?”

We were lying on the deck, and as far as I could tell there were no spiders anywhere in the vicinity, nor should there be, as Odelia hates spiders and has made a deal with her husband that he will always evict them from the premises the moment he spots one.

“I met a spider the other day,” he confessed. “It was in Tex’s garden shed. We got to talking, and he told me a few things that I thought were interesting but also concerning.”

“What did he tell you?” I asked, relaxing again.

If Odelia spots a spider that has escaped her husband’s scrutiny, she has a habit of screaming the house down, especially when it’s one of those big and hairy specimens. And I have to confess I’m not a big fan of the species either.

“Well, he told me that very soon now, there’s going to be some very big changes.”

“What changes?”

“I’m not sure,” said Dooley, making a face. “Though I got the impression that he knew exactly what was going to happen, but didn’t want to alarm me.”

“He was probably talking through his hat. Trying to be the big man on campus.”

“But he wasn’t wearing a hat, Max,” said Dooley, giving me a look of confusion. “And he wasn’t very big either. And I met him in the shed, not a campus.”

“It’s just an expression, Dooley,” I said. “It means he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Just making conversation, you know, and trying to get your attention.”

“Well, he got my attention, all right,” said Dooley. “I don’t think I would like things to change. In fact, I like things just the way they are.”

“Me too,” I said as I closed my eyes again. “I like everything exactly the way it is right now. So let’s not jinx things by talking about any possible changes, shall we?”

“No, let’s not,” said Dooley.

Harriet and Brutus, who had been traipsing around in the field behind the house, came walking up. “You guys,” said Brutus, sounding out of breath. “Did you see those spiders?”

“What spiders?” I asked, my eyes flashing open again. This was too much of a coincidence. “Where?”

“By the old shack,” said Brutus. “It’s full of spiders back there. They’re all over the place, and spread out across the field. Everywhere you go, you can see their webs. It’s freaky.”

I shivered. I don’t enjoy walking through the field and getting those spiderwebs on me. It’s uncomfortable, and frankly a little rude, I always find, for spiders to leave their webs hanging around like that. “They should be more careful where they put those things,” I said.

“There’s even a place in the field where it’s almost impossible to go now,” said Brutus. “It’s one giant thick spiderweb, with thousands of little spiders crawling all over it. I don’t like to venture there, and I’m not even afraid of spiders.”

“You should be,” said Harriet. “Some spiders can bite you pretty bad, and others are poisonous, did you know?”

“I’m sure there are no poisonous spiders here in Hampton Cove,” said Brutus with a laugh. “That’s more the Amazon or Australia or any of those places. Our climate is too cold for poisonous species of spiders to thrive here.”

“And I’m telling you that they’re here,” said Harriet. “Even Shanille told me last night that Father Reilly had a parishioner who was bitten by a spider and he developed the most gruesome rash on his neck. It was as big as a bird’s egg and was all red and swollen. In the end, he had to go to the hospital, and they said that if he hadn’t gone, he might have died.”

“That sounds like an urban legend,” said Brutus. “No spider can cause that kind of rash. Not here in Hampton Cove anyway.”

“Suit yourself. If you don’t want to believe me, that’s up to you. I’m just telling you what Shanille told me, and as we all know, Shanille wouldn’t make up a story like that. It’s against her faith.”

That was true enough. As a staunch Catholic, Shanille doesn’t believe in making up stories simply to impress people. She believes in telling it like it is, which might get awkward if the person she’s talking about is also the person she’s talking to.

“Look, I’m sure it’s just a phase,” I said. “A seasonal thing, you know. Pretty soon they will all be gone again.”

“Yeah, as soon as the weather turns and the temperatures drop, this spider business will be a thing of the past,” said Brutus.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” said Harriet, who was starting to sound more and more like an alarmist, I thought. “These spiders are here to stay, and if that’s true, we’ll simply have to start being a lot more careful, and also our humans. And I’m thinking specifically about Grace and Gran, who are both very vulnerable to this sort of threat.”

“Would you call it a threat?” I asked.

“I most certainly would,” said Harriet, causing Dooley to give me a look of concern.

“Maybe this is the big change my friend the spider was talking about,” he said.

“You are friends with a spider?” asked Harriet.

“I met him a couple of days ago. He hangs out in Tex’s garden shed, and he told me that big changes are coming. He wouldn’t tell me what those changes were, though.”

“Probably this spider invasion,” said Harriet, nodding. “Better ask your friend to be more specific, Dooley,” she advised. “We need to make sure that we are not attacked by these monsters. If there are thousands and thousands of them out there, and only four of us, you can see how that’s going to pose a major problem, can’t you?”

I gulped a little. All this talk about thousands of spiders was affecting my capacity to enjoy a nice and peaceful nap, but when I told Harriet, she didn’t agree.

“It isn’t alarmist to prepare yourself for a contingency you know is coming, Max,” she said. “It’s simply common sense.”

Common sense or not, if those spiders started spreading to the backyard and then to the house, I would advise our humans to stock up on spider repellant—and plenty of it!

CHAPTER 2

Clark Timberlake looked through his viewfinder and shook his head. It still wasn’t what he was looking for. He’d been scouting for a great location for his next project for weeks, and even though he had a feeling he was close, being the perfectionist that he was, he knew he could do better. And so he studied the list of possible locations his assistants had jotted down and saw that the next possibility was just around the corner. He needed a house that looked normal enough from the outside but at the same time had a sort of spooky vibe. It was subtle, but it was what he needed and he was going to get it, however long it took him.

He walked the distance to the street that was next on the list, and when he arrived there, he had to admit that he liked what he saw. In fact, he liked it a lot. It was an ordinary house like you could find on any street, on any block, in any suburb, but there was something about it that was… off. He couldn’t really put his finger on it, but this house had a history. It had suffered. It had gone through the wringer. And since that was exactly what he needed to convey, he put the viewfinder to his eye and studied the house intently.

As he did, he got a chill. A vibe that told him that he had found what he was looking for. As he stared at the place, a cat walked out from behind the house and settled on the small stone wall that had been erected in front of the house and started licking itself. Just then, the cat, a big fat orange specimen, glanced up in his direction and their eyes locked.

Another shiver, more pronounced this time. Goosebumps up and down his arms.

“You,” he said, pointing to the fat cat. “I want you in my movie!”

He walked up to the house, and since he didn’t believe in wasting time, pressed his finger on the buzzer. Moments later, the door was opened by a beautiful young blonde.

“Hi there,” he said. “My name is Clark Timberlake and I’m a movie director. How much for the house?”

She stared at him. “Excuse me?”

“Not to buy, mind you,” he clarified, realizing that he probably should have let an assistant handle this part of the process. He was a little brusque in his ways of handling the delicate negotiations that were involved in dealing with people. “I want to use your house for my next movie,” he explained. He then pointed to the fat cat. “Is that your cat?”

“Um, yes, as a matter of fact, it is,” she said.

“I want him in my movie,” he declared.

Her jaw had dropped, which he saw as a good sign.

“How much?” he asked therefore.

“How much for what?”

He frowned. He didn’t like people that were a little thick. It complicated things. “How much to use your house for my movie? And the cat, of course. Just name your price, miss.”

“My house is not for sale, sir,” she said. “And neither is my cat.” She made to close the door, but since he had been in this position before, he hastened to place a well-shod foot in the way. He probably shouldn’t have done that, for she got a sort of set look about her that he didn’t think was a good sign. Then she bellowed, “Chase! Can you come here a minute!”

Moments later, a beefy giant appeared. Clark had to strain his neck to look up at the guy.

“What seems to be the problem?” the beefcake asked.

“This man here wants to buy our house, and also Max. Can you please explain to him that neither are for sale?”

“I don’t want to buy anything,” he said. He realized he hadn’t expressed himself well. His assistants often said he was a brilliant director, but a lousy communicator. “I’m a movie director, you see. And I want to film my next movie in your house. It’s not going to take long. One month at the most, maybe a little less. So all I want is to rent your house for the time of the shoot. And also that fat cat over there. I just have to have it in my movie.”

The guy seemed more interested in his proposal than the dame. “You want to rent the house for a month so you can film a movie here, and also put Max in your movie?”

He nodded, happy that finally someone understood what he was trying to get across. “I told this lady to name her price.”

“How about… a thousand bucks a week?” the guy said.

“Done,” he said, happy at such a lowball offer. He held out his hand. “I’ll have my assistant draw up the contract.”

The woman gave him a look of surprise. “You’re willing to pay us a thousand bucks a week so you can use our home in your movie?”

“Absolutely. I’ve been looking for the right house for weeks now, and have traveled up and down Long Island. Your home is exactly what I need. It’s got that special vibe I want.”

The woman turned to the beefy fellow. “But what about us, Chase? Where are we going to live in the meantime?”

“We could stay with your mom and dad,” he suggested. “If it’s only for a month, we’ll manage.”

“And what about our furniture?”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” said Clark. “We’ll put all of that in storage if you like. We have professional crews who deal with this kind of thing all the time. We’ll remove all of your furniture, all of your furnishings and personal stuff, and put it in storage, but before we do that, we take pictures of everything. And then when the shoot is over, we put everything back exactly the way it was, down to the last detail. Wallpaper, curtains, carpeting—everything. You will get your house back exactly the way it was.”

“See?” said the beefcake. “Easy money, babe. Plus bragging rights for being in a movie.”

“I guess,” she said, not fully convinced. She turned to Clark. “And what was that you said about Max? You want him in your movie?”

“I need a cat,” he explained. “But not just any cat. I need… Max, you said his name was?”

“That’s right.”

“Well, I need Max in my movie,” he said. “He’s exactly what I had in mind.”

“Will he have to… act?”

“Oh, no. No acting required whatsoever. He will simply have to walk from point A to point B, and he will also have to jump around when we tell him to. But we have professional animal trainers who will work with him.”

“Max doesn’t need a trainer,” said the beefcake. “He’ll do exactly what you tell him to. Okay, so maybe that’s not entirely true,” he amended. “He will do what Odelia tells him to.”

“Odelia?” asked the director.

“I’m Odelia,” said the blond babe. “Odelia Kingsley. And this is my husband Chase.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, even though he wasn’t really interested in the couple. He didn’t think he could use them in his movie, and as a consequence, they were of no importance. But then he caught on to what the big fellow said. “Max will do as you say?”

“Absolutely,” said the guy. “He listens to her, you see.”

“He does,” said this Odelia person.

“Prove it,” said Clark. “Tell him to come here.”

“Max!” she bellowed, causing his ears to hurt. “Come here a moment, will you?”

Without delay, the cat jumped off the low wall and came trotting up. Now it was Clark’s jaw that dropped. In all of his years working with kids and animals, he had never seen a cat respond so astutely to a command. “Can you… can you tell him to stand on his hind legs?”

“Stand on his hind legs?”

“Yeah, or make him do something? Doesn’t matter what.”

“Max, can you give me a paw?” asked Odelia.

And much to his astonishment, the cat did exactly that!

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he said, scratching his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” His excitement was growing by leaps and bounds. “How much for the cat?”

“Max is not for sale,” said the woman, turning sour on him again.

“I didn’t mean it like that. How much to put him in my movie?”

“Well, just pay him the usual fee,” said the beefcake.

“Ten thousand,” he suggested off the top of his head. It was steep for a pet actor, but he had a good feeling about Max. If the cat could pull this off, he’d be the star of the movie.

“So what does he have to do, exactly?” asked Odelia carefully.

Unlike her husband, she wasn’t so easy to impress. “Well, like I said, walk from point A to point B and jump around. Things like that.”

“And you’re willing to pay ten thousand dollars for that?”

“It’s very rare to get a cat that does what the director wants,” he explained. “In fact, it’s almost impossible to make them do what you want. That gag about never working with pets or kids is true for a reason. But if you can make him follow my instructions, then yeah, he’s worth his weight in gold, pretty much.”

She exchanged a look with her husband, and he nodded. Then she did the strangest thing. She crouched down and asked the cat! “Max, what do you say? Do you want to be in a movie?” The cat meowed up a storm for a moment, and the ditzy blonde smiled a radiant smile. “Okay,” she said finally. “We’ll do it. We’ll be in your movie.”

CHAPTER 3

Lily Heckley looked out of the window of her office and wondered again about the man standing across the street. He had been there for the past hour or so. Mostly he was checking his phone, an innocent enough pastime, but she had noticed that from time to time he looked up at the office, as if he was waiting for someone—or something. She shrugged and decided that she probably should get on with her job and not waste time gazing idly out of windows. She would never get through her workload that way.

The problem was that the job she had been assigned seemed so utterly and completely pointless she had a hard time focusing on the task at hand. As a junior graphic designer of an ad agency, she had to edit the new campaign for one of their bigger clients. The problem was that she wasn’t fully on board with the concept. The company, a perfume brand that had been in business for decades and had a solid reputation, had asked Ophelae to design a campaign around their new fragrance, aimed at a younger segment of the market. They had recently attracted a new CEO, who wanted to shake things up, and had asked them to design a campaign that was more daring, more appealing to the younger demographic. And so Patsy Fletcher, Ophelae’s creative director, had come up with an edgy campaign that was going to shock some of the older clients but hopefully attract a lot of new ones.

Lily didn’t like it, and she hadn’t minced words when she had voiced this opinion in their most recent creative team meeting. But Patsy had immediately shut her down and had basically told her that her opinion didn’t matter and that she should just do as she was told. She hadn’t said the ‘or else’ part of her statement out loud, but it was implied.

And so now Lily had to spend her time working on a campaign she thought was going to alienate Fleur’s existing client base, and reflect badly on Ophelae. If the new fragrance tanked, other brands might think twice before hiring Ophelae. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that, but it might. The new campaign was dark and grungy and was a major gamble.

She sighed and got busy removing some blemishes from the face of one of the models they had hired for the shoot. The model suffered from acne, and she had a lot of work getting rid of all the pimples. The girl looked very heroine chic, the look Patsy was going for. As Lily also removed a scar from the model’s leg, she felt someone standing behind her. She looked up and saw that Patsy was eyeing her with a critical expression on her face.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded heatedly.

“Um… cleaning up the images?” she said.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave all of that in?”

“But… we always remove blemishes like these.”

“Not this time. I want them all in. The scars, the acne, the tattoos, the imperfections. The more the merrier. It’s all part of the campaign the client wants. He wants real people, not perfectly airbrushed models. Just make it darker.”

“Darker?”

“A lot darker. We want to shock the viewer. Really make this an image that will stop the scroll,” she added. “And when you’re done with this, I want you to look at the static TikTok images too. They’re too clean. Too… pretty.”

“Yes, Patsy,” she said dutifully, knowing better than to offer her personal opinion.

“Make it more rough, more edgy, more gritty. We want images that are in your face.”

She nodded and reversed a couple of the changes she had made. As if by magic, all of the model’s facial imperfections reappeared. The acne, the moles, the scars…

“That’s better,” said Patsy, well pleased. “Much better.”

Lily wondered how the model would feel about this. Not everyone wanted to appear in a major nationwide campaign looking the way they did when they got out of bed in the morning. Then again, if that’s what the client wanted, that’s what the client would get.

She had been working for another half hour when she happened to glance out of the window again, to give her eyes a break. Great was her surprise when that same man was still standing there. As she looked down, he looked up, and their eyes met. Immediately he looked away again, obviously feeling caught. He even walked away from the lamppost he had been leaning against and crossed the street so he would be out of sight.

How odd, she felt. But since there was no law against standing on the corner of the street looking at buildings, she put it out of her mind and returned to her work. She had just finished exporting the finished image and saving it in the cloud when suddenly there was a major explosion that rocked the building. She jumped up from her chair and reeled back. At the entrance to the office, she could see flames and a thick cloud of smoke.

Her coworkers all stared at the conflagration in horror and shock, and suddenly a loud voice rang out. “Fire exit! Now!”

It was Patsy, and the next moment they were all running to the exit on the other side of the office. Since there were at least fifty people, there was a hold-up when they reached the fire exit door, but as they had done regular fire drills in the past, nobody panicked, and the evacuation proceeded smoothly. Which is when a second explosion reverberated through the building, and when she looked behind her, she saw to her shock that the floor collapsed and that where she had been sitting before, working at her computer, a crater now gaped.

Looked like the entire building was about to collapse where they stood.

The next moment, panic did break out, and as people hustled and pushed and shoved to get out of there before the rest of the building crumbled into a mass of debris and twisted metal and broken glass, she just let herself be hustled along by the throng of bodies squeezing through the door. As she hurried down the metal fire escape, she saw that a woman had fallen and threatened to be trampled by the panicking thronging mass. So she quickly yanked the woman back to her feet and assisted her in hurrying to safety.

The woman had lost her shoes, but that couldn’t be helped. Better to lose one’s shoes than one’s life, after all. The moment they arrived at street level, they ran away from the building, putting as much distance between themselves and the disaster area as possible. She could already hear the sound of fire engines approaching. And that’s when a third explosion rocked the building, this one even bigger than before. As they all watched in stupefaction, the entire structure came crashing down in a deafening roar, as if leveled by a giant monster. A gust of smoke and dust pummeled them and blew them off their feet. As she and her other colleagues struggled to get up, she saw that the office building where she had been so hard at work only half an hour before, was gone, replaced by dust and debris.

She hoped they had all made it out alive, and as she stared at the devastation, couldn’t help but wonder if the man who had been staring at them from across the street had something to do with this. She searched the crowd, but there was no trace of him.

It could have been a coincidence, of course, but somehow she doubted it.

Which could only mean… that Ophelae had been the victim of an attack. A bombing. But then she shook off the silly notion. A gas explosion, that was probably what had happened. There was no other explanation. Or was there?

CHAPTER 4

Odelia hadn’t yet recovered from the shock that her house and her cat would feature in a major movie production when her husband got a phone call from her uncle that was even more shocking.

“What?!” he cried, which was out of character for the stalwart detective, who prided himself on keeping his cool even under the most difficult circumstances. “We’ll be there in ten minutes, boss.”

“What’s happened?” she asked.

“There’s been an explosion in town. An entire office building has collapsed.”

The director, who had been studying Max and taking pictures of the cat, looked up. “An explosion? Where?”

“Downtown,” said Chase curtly.

“Can I follow you in my car?” he asked. “Explosions are my specialty, you see. I’m known in Hollywood as the king of explosions. My movies are full of them.”

“Be my guest,” said Chase. He turned to Odelia. “We have to go now, babe.”

She hurried into the house to grab her jacket and purse, and then they were off, carefully closing the door behind them.

“Can I also come?” asked Max.

She nodded, even though she didn’t think this was the kind of case her cats should be involved in. Murder investigations were a different beast. There would be clues to find and witnesses to talk to. But an explosion? It might be dangerous, with people trampling all over the scene. But she couldn’t very well tell Max that he should stay home. Not with the movie director standing next to her and noting every interaction and every word she spoke.

And so as she got into the car, her cats jumped in after her and settled themselves on the backseat, as was their habit.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” asked Chase, jerking his thumb to the four cats.

“They can stay in the car if things aren’t safe,” she said.

“We won’t get in your way, Chase, if that’s your concern,” said Brutus.

“No, we just want to see what’s going on,” said Harriet. “It’s our town too, you know. And if things start going up in flames, I feel we should be there.”

“It proves that the spider was right,” said Dooley, a little cryptically.

“What was it?” she asked as she buckled up. “Gas explosion?”

“They’re not sure. The fire department is looking for survivors right now, people who may have ended up being buried under the debris.”

“Christ,” she said. “Let’s hope all of them made it out alive.”

“It was an office building,” said Chase as he steered away from the curb. “Full of office workers.” He frowned at his rear-view mirror. “Maybe I should have said no when this guy suggested he tag along. The last thing we need is some nosy parker snooping around.”

“I’m sure he won’t get in our way,” she said.

“Maybe you should Google him. Make sure he’s not a scammer trying to get into the house and take off with our stuff. These days you can’t be careful enough.”

And so she Googled the name Clark Timberlake. She immediately got plenty of hits. “It’s him, all right,” she said, relieved to find that he was the real deal and not a fraud. “He’s actually made a lot of movies that you love, babe.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

And as she rattled off a list of the guy’s movies, Chase smiled. “You’re right. I love the guy’s stuff. He was right about the explosions. His movies always have plenty of them.”

Odelia had to admit she wasn’t as big a fan as her husband, but then she was more into movies with a great story and some light drama. The more explosions, the more the story seemed to suffer, she always felt. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to let him use the house? He might want to blow it up.”

“He won’t,” said Chase. “If he does, I’ll blow him up.” And he seemed to mean it, too.

She glanced over her shoulder at the cats. “Max, we haven’t talked this through, but if you don’t want to be in this movie, just say so, all right? You don’t have to feel obliged.”

“A movie?” asked Harriet, sitting up. “What movie?”

“Max has been offered a part in a movie,” Odelia explained. “A small part,” she quickly added. “All he has to do is walk from here to there and jump on a table and that kind of thing. I assume he’ll probably be the main character’s cat or something like that.”

“I can do that,” said Max, nodding. “I can walk from point A to point B and jump on a table when you tell me to.”

“But… why Max?” asked Harriet, whose eyes had gone wide with dismay. “Why not me? I’m so much prettier than Max! And also, I have the talent and the drive to be a star!”

“I don’t know why he picked Max, honey,” said Odelia. “All I know is that he took one look at him and said he wanted him in his movie.”

“That’s only because he hasn’t seen me,” Harriet lamented. “Maybe you should suggest auditions, Odelia. Then he can see who’s the real acting prodigy in this family. Me!”

“Maybe he needs a cat with a specific coloring? You know directors have certain ideas about what their movies should look like. So maybe everything in his movie is orange?”

“Blorange,” Max said immediately. “Not orange.”

“I’m sorry, Max,” she said as she suppressed a smile.

“Where is this director?” asked Harriet. “I’ll parade in front of him, and the moment he sees me and what an amazing talent I am, he will hire me, I’m sure.”

“Of course,” said Odelia, who didn’t want to get into an argument with the feisty Persian. “You do that, honey.”

They had arrived at the business district, where several office towers dominated the landscape, and judging from the number of cars that were parked haphazardly across the street and were blocking their progress, news of the explosion had already spread.

“We should probably proceed on foot,” said Chase. “There’s no getting through.”

And so they got out and covered the rest of the distance on foot. Even from a couple of blocks away, she could already see the plume of smoke rising over the houses.

“That doesn’t look like a gas explosion, does it?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” said Chase. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually witnessed a gas explosion. But I’ve seen a regular explosion, and this looks a lot like that.”

“What do you mean, a regular explosion?”

“Bombs, babe. Bombs.”

Oh, dear. That wasn’t good. “Who in their right mind would throw a bomb at a building in our town?” she asked as she tried to keep up with her husband, whose legs were a lot longer than hers. Her cats had even more trouble, as they were a lot smaller still.

“It could be a terrorist attack,” he said. “We won’t know until we get there.” He seemed annoyed that it took them so long to get to the epicenter of the tragedy.

Behind them, the director had finally caught up with them. He was lugging a camera with him, she saw, and was panting heavily. Apart from that, though, he looked like a kid in a candy store. “An actual explosion,” he said excitedly. “What a stroke of luck, huh?”

“Tell that to the people buried under a couple of tons of steel and concrete,” Chase growled.

“Oh, but I didn’t mean it like that,” said the director.

“Then how did you mean it?”

“Well…” But since he didn’t really have an answer to that, he decided that he should probably keep his tongue or risk jeopardizing the deal they had made over the house and Max featuring in his next movie. Which is when a thought occurred to Odelia.

“Your movies, they feature lots of explosions, right?”

“Oh, they do!” said the director. “Like I said, it’s my signature thing. They sometimes call me Action Jackson because action movies are my forte. My calling card, so to speak.”

“Okay, so just to be clear, you’re not going to blow up our house, right?”

“Absolutely not!” he said. “And even if we did blow up your house, we wouldn’t actually blow it up, you know. It would all be done in post.” When she frowned, he added, “Post-production. Green screen? Even though I love real explosions—you can’t beat pyrotechnics—I work mostly with green screen these days and visual effects. It’s all done on the computer. A lot cheaper and also a lot safer for everyone involved.”

“Good,” she said. “The last thing we need is for our house to be blown up.”

“Your house will not be blown up,” he said. “You have my word as an honorary Boy Scout.” And he even held up his hand to swear a solemn oath in that regard.

Satisfied, she said that in that case, her house was his house—so to speak.

They finally arrived at the block where the explosion had taken place, and when they rounded the corner, the devastation was even worse than she had feared. An entire office building had been reduced to rubble. The buildings to the left and right were still standing, but right between them, the entire edifice had come crashing down.

“Amazing,” said the director. “A controlled explosion. I’ve specialized in those, you see, and let me tell you that it isn’t easy to bring a building down like this. Usually, the other buildings suffer a great risk of collateral damage, but in this case, they did a great job.”

“You mean… you think this was a manmade explosion?” asked Chase.

“Absolutely. To bring a building down like this, you need to be a demolition expert.” He nodded appreciatively. “Whoever did this is an ace, an artist in their own right.”

Odelia had a feeling the people who had been inside that building would beg to differ, but it was time to get to work. And so they left the director and went in search of her uncle. They passed throngs of victims, all of them easily recognizable as their faces were black with soot, and they all looked shell-shocked, which was to be expected after their ordeal.

They finally found her uncle talking to the fire chief.

“Oh, good,” he said. “You’re here.” He made the necessary introductions, and Odelia saw that Mayor Butterwick had also joined them.

“Any people still under the rubble?” asked Charlene.

“We’re trying to get in there as soon as possible,” said the fire chief. “But as far as we can tell, all of the people who were in the building managed to get out via the fire escape. Apparently, there were two minor explosions before the big one that collapsed the entire structure. The first explosion didn’t do a lot of damage, the second one a little more, before the third that finished off the building. By the time it hit, the evacuation was already over.”

“So was this a gas explosion or not?” asked Charlene.

The fire chief shook his head. “Too soon to tell. We’ll bring in the experts, but to me this doesn’t look like a gas explosion at all.”

“Then what does it look like?” asked the mayor.

He gave her a serious look. “I’m afraid we have to consider this might have been a deliberate attack, Madam Mayor.”

“An attack? You mean…”

“Terrorists,” he said.

“Oh, shoot.”

CHAPTER 5

“This doesn’t look good, Max,” said Odelia, and that was quite the understatement.

The street was strewn with debris, and off to the side, the people who had been in that building before it collapsed were being looked after by a team of first responders.

“Who would do such a thing?” asked Harriet.

“A person who didn’t like this company?” Brutus suggested.

“We better go and have a closer look,” I suggested.

The fire department had enlisted a troupe of rescue dogs who were sniffing around in search of possible victims who could still be trapped underneath all those tons of concrete, steel, and glass. If there were still people in there, I didn’t think they stood a chance.

“I wonder if we shouldn’t help in the search?” said Odelia.

We had approached the site and looked around for a clue of what to do. A dog looked up. He was wearing a sort of jacket that identified him as belonging to the team of rescue dogs. “What are you guys doing here?” he asked, not in an unfriendly way.

“We’re with Odelia and Chase Kingsley,” I explained. “They’re with the police.”

“Do you think there are still survivors under all of this mess?” asked Brutus, who had taken a step closer to the dog.

“Not sure,” he said as he sniffed. “I doubt it, though. Apparently they had an advance warning and made sure to get out as soon as possible.”

“How do you do that?” asked Dooley. “Find people in all of this stuff, I mean?”

“Oh, you have to be trained to do it,” said the dog.

“Can anybody be trained?” asked Harriet. “Could we train to do what you do, for instance?”

He grinned. “This is not the kind of job a pretty lass like you should get involved in, toots,” he said, and Harriet frowned.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve assisted my humans in plenty of police investigations,” she said haughtily. “So I’m sure I could do your job just as well.”

“By all means, go ahead,” said the dog, who was a German Shepherd, I saw. He took a step back. “See if you have more success than I’ve had.”

And since Harriet is not the kind of cat to back down from a challenge, she stepped to the fore and started sniffing around for a sign of possible people buried underneath the remnants of the building. After a while, she gave up. “I don’t seem to smell anything,” she said. “Just a lot of dust, you know. Dust from the building that collapsed.”

“That’s the worst part,” said the dog. “When a building like this comes down, plenty of toxic materials are spread through the air. Bad for your health, toots. So you better stand aside and let the real rescuers do their job, all right?”

And with these words, he recommenced his task of locating as many people as possible.

It certainly was an impressive job, I thought, especially since my own nostrils were already tickling from all of the dust that hadn’t yet settled down.

“Let’s go and see what else we can find out,” Brutus suggested. “They don’t need us here to get in their way.”

“All right,” said Harriet, and darted one final look at the rescue dog who was busily sniffing around once more. “They are real heroes, aren’t they, sugar pants? To do this kind of work on a continuous basis, and jeopardizing their health like this, just for the sake of saving people trapped underneath all of this mess?”

“They’re absolutely heroes,” said Brutus with a touch of wistfulness. Sometimes I suspect Brutus of secretly wanting to be a dog from time to time. And there have been times when he actually thought he was a dog. But unfortunately for him, reality always caught up with him. Once a cat, always a cat, after all. Tough to change into a dog.

We approached the victims of the attack and decided to mingle and see what we could find out by listening to their conversations.

A woman stood near an ambulance, sipping from a styrofoam cup of hot coffee and looking dazed.

“How are we going to work on our next project now?” she asked a colleague.

“I wouldn’t worry about that for now, Lily,” said the colleague. “First, we need to make sure we’re all safe.”

“But we will all lose our jobs, Patsy. The company is gone.”

“The company isn’t gone,” said Patsy. “The company isn’t a pile of bricks and mortar, honey. The company is the people, and as far as I can tell, we’re all still here. Though I haven’t seen Margot anywhere.”

“Margot didn’t come in today. She wasn’t feeling well. Said she was taking a sick day.”

Patsy brightened at this news. “Then we’re all here. All present and accounted for.”

“It’s all thanks to you,” said Lily. “If you hadn’t told us to leave, we would all have been in there when the building collapsed.”

“You can’t think like that,” said Patsy.

But it was clear that Lily wanted to think like that, and maybe she was right. No sense in denying reality. “I wonder who could have done this to us,” she said.

“What do you mean? It was a gas explosion, surely.”

“I don’t think so. I overheard some of the firefighters talking just now, and one of them said that he thought the explosion was set off. Which means someone did this.”

The woman named Patsy looked shocked by this. “I can’t believe it. Someone actually bombed our building?”

“That’s what it looks like.”

“God. I have to say I thought it strange that there was more than one explosion. Mostly when a gas pipe explodes there’s one big explosion that blows the entire building to smithereens. Here there were two small explosions, and then the third, big one.”

“Almost as if the person that did this wanted to give us an advance warning,” said Lily. “Get out now, before…” She swallowed with difficulty.

“Maybe you better sit down,” said Patsy. “You don’t look so good.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel so good either,” said Lily.

“It’s only natural that the effect of what happened would hit you later on.”

“What I don’t understand is how you can be so calm about this,” said Lily as she took a seat on a nearby chair. “I mean, you were amazing, Patsy. Keeping your cool like that throughout.”

Patsy smiled. “It helps if you’ve been in the army,” she said.

“You were in the army?”

“Not for very long. Only two years. But it was enough to instill a certain sense of discipline and sangfroid. But let’s not talk about such things. Let’s focus on the positive. We all made it out alive, and even though the office is gone, our work is saved in the cloud. I’m sure we can be up and running again in a couple of days. All we need is a new location.”

“I admire your optimism. It sure is inspiring.”

She was right. It was good to have a person like this Patsy woman to offer a sense of perspective and hope. If she was right and she had made sure that everyone had left the building, and no casualties had been made, then the only damage was material, and that was fine. Buildings can be rebuilt. It’s human lives that can’t be put together again. So in that sense I understood her optimism very well. But that still left the sense of shock that this attack had caused. Someone had specifically targeted this particular office building.

“You should tell the cops,” said Patsy, and I pricked up my ears again.

“Tell them what?” asked Lily.

“What you told me, about that man you saw lurking across the street. It might be important.”

“He could have been just standing there for no particular reason at all,” said Lily.

“Still. It’s worth mentioning. Any detail, no matter how small, can put us on the road to finding out who did this.” Her face clouded a little. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but…”

“But what?”

“Well, if this was indeed an attack on Ophelae, what’s to stop this person from trying again, you know?”

“You mean…”

Patsy nodded seriously. “The bomber is still out there. For all we know, he’s watching us. Biding his time until he can strike again the moment we set up in a different location.”

“But who? Who would want to target an advertising agency?”

“Now that,” said Patsy, “is for the police to find out.”

CHAPTER 6

Abystander watched as staff and management of Ophelae stood gathered near the disaster site. To see all of those office workers looking thoroughly traumatized filled him with a distinct sense of sadness, but if there was a different way of achieving justice, he hadn’t found it. And if they thought they could get away with murder, they had another thing coming. Now all he had to do was wait until they had cleared the site to set the next phase of his plan in motion. And to that end, he spotted the person he needed. The reporter was talking to victims, notepad ready to jot down all of their comments and statements.

He took out his phone and clicked send on the message he had carefully prepared. He watched as she looked up at the ping and knew it was only a matter of time before she saw it.

Since he didn’t want to make his presence known, he quickly removed himself from the scene. Even though there were plenty of lookie-loos, he didn’t want to take any chances. The time would come when he would reveal himself and his motivations, but not now.

And so he quickly walked off, got into his car and took off for the long journey home.

Odelia’s phone had pinged, but since she was so busy talking to the CEO of Ophelae, she figured she’d check it later. It couldn’t be her husband or her uncle, since they were right there with her at the scene of the terrible explosion.

“You were saying, sir?” she asked.

Ophelia Civilian was a handsome man in his mid-forties, who had turned a small advertising agency into a major player. The fact that Ophelae was still headquartered in Hampton Cove, where it had all begun, had surprised many since most of the big ad agencies were all located in New York or one of the other major cities, not tucked away in the Hamptons. But then he must have had his reasons for sticking to his home turf.

“As far as I can tell, we don’t have any enemies,” said Ophelia. “I mean, have we messed up a campaign in the past? Probably. But not to the extent that the client would come after us and try to blow us all up!” He gave her a look of appreciation, and if she hadn’t known any better, she would have said that he was flirting with her. But the circumstances didn’t allow for such frivolities, so she attributed the way he was looking her up and down, a slight smile playing about his lips, to the shock he must have sustained. To see your company being blown up must play havoc on any person.

“So you can think of no one who would want to target your company, Mr. Civilian? Or even you personally?”

“No one at all,” he assured her.

“You haven’t received any threats in the past couple of weeks or months?”

“No threats at all. No, wait,” he said, bringing a finger to his lips as his eyes turned up in thought. He tapped his bottom lip. “We did receive a number of nasty comments on our socials. I totally forgot about that.”

“What kind of comments?”

“Like I said, nasty comments.”

“Threats?”

“Not threats, necessarily,” he said slowly. He shook his head. “I’d have to check. Though our social media manager probably deleted them. That’s what we do with nasty comments. We block and delete.”

“We’ll talk to your social media manager,” she assured him. “It’s important that we look into every single one of these threats, Mr. Civilian.”

“Please call me Ophelia,” he said pleasantly. “You know, I’ve been following your career very closely for years, Mrs. Kingsley. Can I call you Odelia?”

She nodded. “So about those threats⁠—”

“I think you’re doing a great job. If you ever want to change careers, know that you will always have a place at Ophelae. We’re always on the lookout for great writers.”

“But… I’m a reporter.”

“Doesn’t matter. We create plenty of infomercials, and ad copy is simply another form of creative writing.”

The last thing she wanted was to write infomercials, but since she didn’t want to be impolite, she merely smiled. “Okay, back to the threats.”

He sighed. “Look, there haven’t been any threats. All I can think is that this must be some crazy person. Are you absolutely sure that it was intentional? No gas explosion?”

“The fire chief is convinced that it wasn’t gas,” she said. “Though the fire investigator will have to confirm, of course.”

He stared off in the direction of the building that once was. “It’s certainly a big loss for the company. Though it could have been much, much worse. Patsy Fletcher tells me that she believes that every single member of our workforce made it out of there alive.”

“Patsy Fletcher?”

“She’s my creative director,” he said. “She immediately led everyone out of the building and down the fire escape. If she hadn’t been there…”

“Ah, yes,” said Odelia. Patsy Fletcher was on her list as one of the key persons to talk to. “So you think that no lives were lost?”

“I certainly hope not. The well-being of our staff is of the utmost importance to me, Odelia.”

“Is it true there were several explosions? Two minor ones and then the big one?”

“Yes, that is true,” said Ophelia. “The first one alerted us that something was amiss and got us all to head for the fire exit. Then there was a second explosion and the final one that brought down the building.” He shook his head. “Amazing to think that something like this could happen to us. I mean, we’re an ad agency. We make ads about underwear and hay fever meds and dog food. You’d think that these bombers would pick better targets.”

“And what targets would those be?” asked Odelia.

He shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Some political party, maybe? Or a newspaper, like yours. Or the Pentagon?”

She didn’t like this crack about her paper being bombed but trudged on regardless of her growing sense of annoyance. “Okay, so anyone you can think of who would target you personally? Someone you fell out with recently? Problems in the family? Gambling debts?”

He laughed. “Gambling debts! Me! No way. I don’t gamble, or do drugs, or anything of the kind. I’m a happily married man, and I haven’t gotten into an argument with anyone for the last forty or so years. The last time I had a fight was in kindergarten when Tommy Cooper called me carrot top and I punched him in the stomach. I didn’t do much damage either since I didn’t know how to throw a punch. I still don’t.”

Her eyes rose to his hair, and she noticed that he did have a very nice head of bright red hair. “So no altercations with anyone? Either in your personal or professional life?”

“Well, we have competitors, of course,” he said. “But what business doesn’t? I always try to play fair and square and not step on anyone’s toes.”

“No disgruntled ex-employees?”

“Nothing of the kind,” he said. “I believe in treating my staff well, and I haven’t had to let anyone go in years. On the contrary. We’ve been expanding steadily and have grown from a small business with less than twenty employees to our current two hundred plus staff, which is why maybe this bombing wasn’t as bad as all that, as we’ve been looking to move into a bigger office space anyway. It was getting a little cramped in there.”

“If you can think of anything that might be important, please let me know,” she said.

“Absolutely, Odelia. And please think about my offer? I don’t know how much Dan Goory is paying you, but I’m pretty sure you can do a lot better working for Ophelae.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” she said, and tried to keep the irritation out of her voice. It wouldn’t do to antagonize the head of a big company like Ophelae. You never knew if she might ever need a new job. She hoped not, for she loved working for the Gazette too much.

CHAPTER 7

“Look, Max, I just don’t think it’s fair,” said Harriet.

“What isn’t fair?” I asked.

“That you’re going to be in the movie and I’m not! I mean, I’m supposed to be the star in this family, not you.”

“You can be in the movie as much as you want,” I told her. “I don’t really want to do it anyway.”

She stared at me. “Do you really mean that, Max?”

“Of course. I have absolutely no ambition whatsoever to be a movie star, so if you want you can have my part.”

She gave me a smile of such radiance that I felt my heart melt. “Why, thanks, Max. You’re a pal. I knew you wouldn’t want to stand in the way of me making my film debut.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “You take that part and have fun with it. And we’ll all come and watch the movie when it premieres.”

She turned a little giddy. “Finally I will be able to walk the red carpet. I’ll mingle with all of the other stars. Maybe they’ll even let me sing the movie’s theme song and it will be a big hit. Now wouldn’t that be something.”

“That would indeed be something,” I agreed.

We had found Odelia and decided to join her again so we could tag along while she did her round of preliminary interviews with possible witnesses to the explosion. She had already spoken to the CEO of Ophelae, the company that was housed in the building. And after I told her that we had found a potentially interesting witness in a woman named Lily Heckley, she made a beeline for the graphic designer.

“Odelia Kingsley,” said Odelia, introducing herself. “I’m assisting the police in their inquiries. Would now be a good time to answer a few questions, Miss Heckley?”

“Sure,” said the woman. “What do you want to know?”

“Did you happen to see any suspicious activity in the time leading up to the explosion? People hanging around outside that you’d never seen before? Strange behavior?”

“As a matter of fact I did. There was this guy hanging around across the street from the office that I’d never seen before. He just stood there, you know, and from time to time looked up at the building for some reason. I’m not sure why, but he gave me the creeps.”

“What did he look like, this man?”

“Well, he had a dark beard and mustache, and he was wearing sunglasses and a ball cap. It was hard to make out his face. But I’d say he was probably in his forties or fifties.”

“Hair color?”

“That, I couldn’t tell you. Like I said, he was wearing a cap. I thought he was waiting to meet someone, maybe, but he just stood there for the best part of an hour or so. Every time I looked, he was still there, and so after a while, I was starting to wonder what he was doing there. We do have a coffee shop down the street, and since he was holding a cup of coffee, I figured he might be a client and that maybe there was no space inside the coffee shop so he decided to take his drink outside. It happens often, but not for so long.”

“Okay, this might be really helpful,” said Odelia. “Anything else you can tell me about this man?”

“No, that’s it,” said Lily, who seemed disappointed that she couldn’t be of more assistance. “Mostly the people who hang around outside are always the same ones. People who work in one of the other office buildings. There are several companies that have their main office on this block, and so you see the same faces all the time. But this guy stood out because I had never seen him before. And also…” She shook her head. “Like I said, there was something off about him. Something… I can’t really put my finger on it. But for some reason, he gave me the creeps, you know.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean,” said Odelia. “Some people can have that effect on you.”

“Exactly. And also, right before the first explosion, he suddenly took off. He looked up at the office one last time and walked away. Seconds later the first bomb exploded. Coincidence? Or did he know what was going to happen? Anyway, I just thought you’d want to know.”

“And you did good, Lily. This may be the first real lead we’ve had so far. I just talked to your boss, Mr. Civilian, and he said there have never been any threats that he could think of. But this man standing there might give us an indication that there were people out there who meant harm to the company.”

“I’ve been wondering who would want to target us, you know,” said Lily. “I mean, we’re just a low-level ad agency. Nothing fancy or major. But for the life of me, I can’t think…” She frowned.

Odelia immediately picked up on it. “Yes?”

“Well, I’ve been working on this campaign. It’s for a perfume brand called Fleur. And our creative director wants to go for this grungy, hyper-realistic look. Where the models look like real people. So no make-up, no Photoshop. So I was wondering…”

“Yes?” Odelia urged.

“This is really far-fetched,” said Lily, waving a hand. “Like way out there. And I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with the bombing at all.”

Odelia smiled. “Tell me anyway.”

“Well, I was wondering whether these models would appreciate being shown like that, you know. I mean, they’re used to being retouched and made to look immaculate with Photoshop. But my brief has been not to do any of that. Simply to show them exactly the way they are. So what if one of these models doesn’t like to be shown the way she is?”

It certainly seemed a little far-fetched to me, but then we were at the stage in our investigation where we simply gathered all possible ideas and angles and didn’t discard anything, no matter how crazy it sounded. Odelia was of the same opinion.

“Can you give me a list of the models who have worked on this campaign?”

“Of course.” Then she seemed to have second thoughts about what she had told Odelia. “Could you not mention this to Patsy, though? Patsy Fletcher. She’s the creative director and also my boss. It feels as if I’m criticizing her approach and I’m not. Just that I don’t think it’s fair to the models. This campaign will be on billboards, in train stations, on television, all over social media. If I were a model I’m not sure I would appreciate it if my face was plastered all over the country, with all of its imperfections. Plus, after what Patsy did for us, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. That woman just saved all of our lives.”

“I won’t tell Patsy,” Odelia promised. “Just send me the list and I’ll take a look. I agree that it’s probably a long shot, but you never know. Right now we’re looking into every possible angle.”

“Did Mr. Civilian tell you about the lawsuit?” asked Lily.

“Lawsuit? No, he didn’t.”

“There was this big lawsuit a couple of years ago? This was long before my time. Ophelia used to run the company together with his brother. But for some reason they fell out, and the brother ended up suing Ophelia. I’m not sure what the outcome was, since they settled out of court, but there was a lot of acrimony at the time.”

“No, he didn’t mention that,” said Odelia. “Do you have a name for me?”

“Um… Laertes, I believe. Yeah, they both have really weird names. Their dad was this big Shakespeare scholar, and he decided to name his sons after Shakespeare characters. Hence the name Ophelae, which is a contraction of Ophelia and Laertes.”

“It is an odd choice of name for two boys,” Odelia agreed.

“Great for a person who wants to enter the world of the arts, though,” said Lily. “And they both were artists before they founded Ophelae.”

“What discipline were they in?”

“I believe Ophelia was an aspiring actor and Laertes designed clothes. But nothing came of it so they decided to take their lives—and their parents’ money—in a different direction and started Ophelae. Until they fell out. I never even met Laertes. He kinda disappeared.”

After Odelia had thanked Lily for her valuable input, she gave me a grateful smile. It looked as if Lily was the first witness who had given her something to go on, which is always the first step in any investigation. And as we patiently waited until she had finished talking to other witnesses, we saw that our movie director was filming the remnants of the building and talking to firefighters and crime scene investigators, wanting to know all about the explosion that had wrecked the building. He really was a big-time explosions nut.

CHAPTER 8

Harriet was over the moon. Finally, she would get her big break. She was going to be a movie star! An actual star in a major Hollywood production! She could already see herself giving press interviews—with the assistance of her translator Odelia, of course. And socializing with other Hollywood stars at those after-parties you always hear so much about. And of course the Oscars. She probably should start writing her Oscar acceptance speech and rehearse it so she didn’t forget to thank anyone when she was up there on that stage in front of the whole world. She would thank her mom and dad, of course, and also Max and Dooley and Odelia and Chase and the rest of the family. But most of all, she would thank Brutus, who had believed in her when no one else did.

She wondered if she should also thank Shanille. The choir director had always been supportive when it came to her talent as a singer. Although that wasn’t necessarily true. There had been times when Shanille had been downright dismissive of her great talent and at one time had even kicked her out of cat choir.

No, she probably shouldn’t mention Shanille at all. Only positivity at her big moment, no need to dwell on the past, and of course, cats like Shanille would be part of her past the moment she hit the big leagues.

They’d have to move to LA, where the big opportunities were, and also get an agent and a manager to field the many job offers she would get. Her biggest dream, of course, was to one day be able to star in a movie with Meryl. Now wouldn’t that be something? There would be some wrangling over who got top billing, but in the end, they would agree to share the marquee, as stars of their caliber did. Gracious and generous to the hilt.

“Oh, Max,” she said as they were in the car on their way back home. “I’m so glad you decided to give me your part. I won’t disappoint you.”

Odelia looked up. “You will play Max’s part?”

“Yeah, I don’t really need to be in the movies,” said Max. “So I figured Harriet could be in Mr. Timberlake’s movie instead of me. You don’t mind, do you?”

“I don’t,” said Odelia. “But Mr. Timberlake might. It’s his movie, and he specifically asked for Max.”

“That’s because he hadn’t seen me yet,” said Harriet. “The moment he lays eyes on me, he’ll forget all about Max and any vague notions he had about featuring Max in his movie. All he will want is me, me, me!”

Which was exactly as it should be.

“So what do you think?” asked Odelia, returning to the more tedious topic of the explosion that had rocked the business district that morning. “What should we do first?”

“I think this business with the brother sounds promising,” said Chase, who was behind the wheel. “So we better track him down. And also have another chat with Ophelia and ask him why he didn’t mention the lawsuit when you asked if he could think of someone who held a grudge against him or his company. That’s a pretty big omission if you ask me.”

“Yeah, he should have told me,” said Odelia. “And I wonder why he didn’t.”

“And then there’s this business with the models. Though I’m not sure they’d have access to the kind of explosives to bring down a building like that. I don’t associate modeling with having extensive demolition expertise, do you?”

“They could have hired someone,” said Odelia.

“That’s true. So we better look into that as well.” He thought for a moment. “I would like to start with the brother, though. I don’t know why, but I have a hunch that there’s something there.”

“And also the guy who was lurking across the street,” said Odelia.

“He’s going to prove a lot harder to pin down,” said Chase. “But you’re right. We shouldn’t ignore him. I’ve already asked my team to get a hold of any CCTV footage we can find. Also CCTV footage from inside that coffee shop. Hopefully that will tell us something about this mysterious figure.”

Odelia turned to us. “Are you sure you want to tag along? It’s going to prove a long and tough slog to get to the bottom of all of these leads, you guys.”

“We know the drill,” I assured her.

“I was thinking that Brutus and I should sit this one out,” said Harriet. “I need to prepare for my shoot, after all. And I also have an Oscar speech to write and rehearse.”

Odelia smiled, and Harriet could tell that she was proud of her. “Yeah, that Oscar speech is very important,” she agreed. “But how are you going to make yourself understood?”

“You will have to translate, of course,” said Harriet. “So it will be the two of us up on that stage. I’ll read my speech and you will translate. We’ll have to rehearse, to make sure we don’t make any mistakes. We only have a couple of minutes to get our point across, and I have so many people I want to thank I’m not sure I’ll be able to squeeze them all in—especially considering the translation.” She sighed. “So you see, I don’t have time to bother with this exploding building.” And besides, nobody had been killed so she didn’t see the problem. Probably it had been a gas main that had gone boom and the rest was gossip and idle speculation.

“Okay, you and Brutus can stay home,” said Odelia. “And Max and Dooley? Do you feel up to accompanying me and Chase on this investigation?”

“Absolutely,” said Max. “Now that I don’t have to star in this movie, I’ve got plenty of time on my paws.”

“I also have a lot of time on my paws,” said Dooley. “But can we take a snack? Just to tide us over until dinner?”

“Of course,” said Odelia. “I’ll bring plenty of snacks. Enough for all of us.”

“I’ll have a snack, too,” said Chase. “Though not kibble, please.”

And so it was decided. Harriet and Brutus would work on her performance in the next movie by the one and only Clark Timberlake by rehearsing her lines, and also work on her Oscar speech, and Max and Dooley would trail Odelia as she tried to come to terms with the fact that a gas main had exploded and had caused a lot of headaches for all concerned.

She and Brutus were dropped off at the house, where she immediately ventured into the backyard to start rehearsing her scenes. Which is when she suddenly realized something. “But snow pea!” she said.

“What is it?” said Brutus.

“We haven’t been given a script! How can I rehearse my lines if I don’t have a script!”

“We better ask that director fellow,” he said.

But of course, of the big director, there was no trace. Possibly he was still at the scene of the explosion, being inspired for his next movie. Which is when she realized something else. “Snuggle pooh!”

“What?”

“He’s not going to blow me up, is he?”

“I’m sure he has no intention of blowing you up,” said Brutus. “He blows up buildings, remember, not cats.”

“Oh, right,” she said, much relieved. She smiled. She could just see herself playing a scene where she had to run away from a big explosion. Oh, she was going to look so heroic. So extremely brave… She frowned. “Do you think this is going to be an action movie?”

“I’m sure it is,” said Brutus. “His nickname is Action Jackson, after all, so I’m sure he specializes in action movies.”

Her face sagged. “But… everybody knows that action movies never win any Oscars, smoochie poo.”

“They don’t?”

“Of course not. There’s nothing intrinsically artistic or creatively significant or redeemable about action movies. I don’t think any action movie has ever won an Oscar.”

Oh, shoot. That meant she wasn’t going to be walking down that red carpet any time soon. Or standing on that stage with a long list of people and pets to thank.

“Buck up,” said Brutus. “It’s just the first step in your career. A lot of big stars have launched their careers in action movies and gone on to even greater things.”

“Yeah? Like who?”

“Um…” When he couldn’t think of anyone, she sagged even more. “I’ll bet Meryl never played in no stinking action movie,” she said. “Or any truly great actress, ever!”

“There’s Katharine Hepburn,” said Brutus. “She played in action movies, didn’t she?”

“Yeah? Name me one,” she said moodily.

“Um… Bringing Up Baby?”

“Was that an action movie?”

“Absolutely! Plenty of action. There was a leopard in that movie. And a dinosaur!”

She perked up immediately. “I didn’t know that. I don’t think I’ve seen that particular movie. Tell me more.”

“Well, there’s a leopard gang.”

“A gang!” She was liking this more and more.

“And there’s a crazy professor and everything.”

“Okay, you’ve convinced me, sugar babe. I’ll do it. I’ll make the movie!”

Now if only they could find the director and convince him to part with a copy of the script, they were in business!

CHAPTER 9

We had returned to the police station for an urgent meeting Odelia’s uncle had organized. The fire chief would be there, as well as an explosives investigator, the mayor, a delegation from our local FBI field office and even a terrorism expert, courtesy of Homeland Security. In other words, it promised to be a packed meeting where a lot of the information the various parties had gathered so far would be discussed and shared.

There was only one problem. Dooley and I hadn’t been invited.

“But why?” I asked. “We have as much right as anyone to be in that meeting, haven’t we?”

“I’m afraid my uncle has put his foot down on this one,” said Odelia. “He’s afraid it will be embarrassing to him if those bigwigs from the FBI see a couple of cats traipsing around his police station. That they will think of him as some hick police chief from a hick town where chickens and cats roam freely through his precinct.”

“Why chickens?” asked Dooley. “We’re not chickens.”

“It’s just a figure of speech,” said Odelia.

It wasn’t the first time the chief had banned us from taking part in one of his meetings, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. But I still felt that he shouldn’t have done it. We had a role to play, and an important one, too. If not for us, Odelia might never have hit upon Lily Heckley, and gotten the information out of that lady that she had. She might have clammed up when talking to a regular police officer and decided that it just wasn’t worth it to open up about her suspicions.

Then again, there was nothing we could do. If the chief said we weren’t welcome in his big meeting, we weren’t welcome. And so Dooley and I decided to head on over to the General Store to have a chat with our good friend Kingman instead. If the grownups wanted to discuss the bombing without us, so be it.

“I don’t like it, Max,” said Dooley. “We are as much part of this investigation as Odelia and Chase. So why can’t we sit in on that meeting and give our personal opinion?”

“Because most people don’t care about the opinion of a couple of cats,” I said. “Even if they understood us.”

“Odelia could be our translator,” he suggested. But he seemed to understand this wasn’t feasible, as those FBI people might look at her askance and even decide to lock her up as a potential security threat to the nation.

“Let’s just wait and see what they come up with,” I suggested.

Maybe it was for the best. These meetings can go on for hours, with people talking over each other and emotions running high. The more egos you lock up in the same room, the less productive the work becomes. And so we trotted off in the direction of Main Street, where we soon arrived at the General Store. Kingman was seated in front, keeping an eye on the goings-on in our town and shooting the breeze with any cat who passed by. He’s by way of being the unofficial mayor of Hampton Cove. Even though he’s a cat, just like we are, he’s unusually well-informed because he spends his days talking to other cats.

When he saw us approach, a smile lit up his face. “If it ain’t the Chuckle Brothers!” he said.

“Who are the Chuckle Brothers?” I asked.

“Oh, just a couple of British comedians,” he said. “Wilbur and I were watching some TV the other night and there was something on about them. So how are things, fellas?”

“Things are fine,” I said. “Apart from the building that was bombed to smithereens this morning.”

“Ah, yes. I heard about that. Pretty nasty business. Any victims?”

“So far nobody,” I said. “Which is a minor miracle, considering the entire building has collapsed.”

“I saw it on Wilbur’s little TV set just now,” said Kingman, referring to the television set the owner of the General Store likes to put next to his checkout counter and watch in between serving his customers. Mostly he watches football games and the like, but from time to time he will switch to the local TV station to catch up on our local news. “Charlene was on, and also Odelia’s uncle as well as the fire chief.”

“Good thing they didn’t interview us,” said Dooley. “I wouldn’t know what to say. I’d be tongue-tied, you know.”

“Me too,” I said. “The moment they point that camera at me, I’d clam right up.”

“Not me,” Kingman assured us. “I would thrive if they pointed a camera at me. In fact, I was thinking that maybe I should put my name in the hat for one of those reality shows, you know. Just me and Wilbur and all of our adventures. I think it would be a big hit.”

“Keeping up with Wilbur and Kingman?” I suggested.

“Something like that. And they could feature all the people in our lives. You guys, of course, and also Vesta and Scarlett and Francis Reilly. And they could send a cameraman to ride with us when we go on neighborhood watch patrol. Like I said, a sure-fire hit.”

“We have a famous movie director who will be staying at the house soon,” said Dooley. “But he won’t be filming us. Only Harriet.”

“Which means we’ll have to move next door for the time being,” I said.

“Is that a fact? Maybe you should send him our way. I’m sure Wilbur would love the opportunity to feature in a movie. And it would do wonders for the store, of course. Just make sure they feature the front of the store, with the name and everything, so people know where to find us.”

“I don’t think they’ll want to do product placement, buddy,” I said.

“No, I guess not,” he said. “Though it could be the making of us if they did.” He gave me a keen look. “So have you found out who bombed that building yet?”

“No idea,” I confessed.

“There’s a big meeting going on at the police station,” added Dooley, “but Max and I weren’t invited. No chickens and no cats, Uncle Alec said, so we can’t be there.”

“No chickens and no cats?” asked Kingman with a frown. “I don’t see the connection. Cats and chickens are two entirely different species, doesn’t Odelia’s uncle know this?”

“I’m sure he does know the difference between a cat and a chicken,” I said soothingly. “It’s not a big deal. They just don’t want the FBI agents that are in the meeting to get the wrong impression and come away thinking Hampton Cove is some kind of hick town.”

“A hick town! Who do they think they are! Let’s send them straight back to where they came from, the ignoramuses!”

“Nobody has said anything,” I hastened to assure him. “It’s just the impression that Odelia got and shared with us, that’s all.”

“Oh,” he said, piping down again. “Well, that’s all right then.”

“What do you know about spiders, Kingman?” asked Dooley seriously.

“About as much as I know about chickens,” he said. “Which is not much.”

“So you don’t know why there are so many spiders in Blake’s Field all of a sudden?”

“That’s odd,” he said. “Our backyard is also full of spiders. No idea where they all come from, but one morning they were there, and they have stuck around. Wilbur doesn’t like it. He won’t admit it, but I think he’s secretly afraid of spiders.”

“I’m also afraid of spiders,” I said. “Well, maybe not of one spider, but when they suddenly show up en masse it does give me the creeps.”

“And it should! Spiders can be dangerous. Some of them are venomous. One bite is enough to kill you.”

It was the same thing Harriet had told us that morning, and I was starting to see that there might be some truth to this venom story after all!

“But surely those kinds of spiders don’t occur here in Hampton Cove?”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that. With all the experiments humans get up to, it wouldn’t surprise me if they created some kind of super spider that will kill us all.”

I gulped. All this talk about venom and killing spiders frankly gave me quite the scare. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that, is it?”

He gave me a serious look. “Let me put it this way, Max: if you are suddenly faced with a couple of dozen spiders, and they’re all coming straight at you? Run, buddy. Run!”

CHAPTER 10

Dooley didn’t think much of this whole business with the explosions. As far as he was concerned, it was much ado about nothing. Harriet said it was probably a gas explosion, and she was right. Gas explosions happen, as gas is very explosive, so that all made a lot of sense to him. Or maybe someone in that building had turned up the heating too high and the boiler hadn’t been able to take the pressure and had decided to go out with a bang.

No, the real problem was the spiders, he just knew it was. Max didn’t seem too concerned, and neither did anyone he talked to, except maybe Kingman, but then Kingman was an old hat at dealing with turmoil and mayhem in this small town of theirs, and he recognized trouble when it stared him in the face, as it did now, with its multifaceted eyes.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it had never killed him, so while Max and Kingman were talking some more about the explosions, he decided to take a look at the spiders their voluminous friend had mentioned. Moments later he was wending his way through the store on his way to the private living section located at the back. He passed through the string curtain and then through the pet flap and into the backyard.

It was exactly as Kingman had said: the backyard was full of the creatures. They were everywhere: weaving their webs between the branches of the trees, the leaves of the bushes, and even between individual blades of grass! It wasn’t too much to say that there must have been hundreds of them, maybe thousands, working hard to expand their dominion.

He stared at the disturbing scene, which was straight out of a horror movie, and got a queasy sensation in the pit of his stomach as he took in the sheer overwhelming numbers the species had produced. If this kept up, pretty soon they would make every square inch of Wilbur’s backyard uninhabitable and impassable for its human and feline inhabitants.

And since the last thing he needed was to get in bad with these spiders, he decided to return indoors posthaste. But that wasn’t what the spiders had in mind. As he started slowly backtracking to the back door, one of them suddenly dropped down from above.

“Hey, cat,” said the spider. “How’s it hanging?” It produced a high-pitched chuckle. “Cause I’m hanging, you see. It’s a joke. Not funny? No, I guess you had to be there.”

Dooley produced what he hoped was a satisfactory jolly laugh, even though to his own ears it sounded more like the cough of a consumptive goat. “Very funny,” he said.

But then he looked back and saw that several of the creatures had all dropped down from the same gutter the first one was dangling from. They had effectively cut off his escape route, and he was stuck. Unless he went through them, but the thought of getting all of those spiders on him freaked him out to such an extent, he simply froze in situ.

“So what’s a nice alley cat like you doing in a place like this?” asked the spider that had addressed him.

“Um,… just paying a visit to my friend Kingman,” he said in a small voice.

“Oh, I know Kingman,” said a second spider. “He’s the fat cat that lives here, isn’t he? I’ve seen him around.”

“Kingman is a little on the voluminous side,” he admitted.

“That’s because Kingman loves the good life,” said the first spider. “Hey, where are my manners? The name is Grover CLXXXIX, and these strapping fellas are Grover CLXXXV, Grover CLXXXVI, Grover CLXXXVII, and Grover CLXXXVIII. We’re all related, as you can probably imagine.”

“You’re… all brothers?” asked Dooley.

“That’s right. And there’s plenty more where we came from.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Dooley. “My name is D-d-d-Dooley.”

“Well, D-d-d-Dooley,” said Grover CLXXXIX, “it sure is refreshing to find a cat who is willing to talk to us. Most of you guys simply pass us by without even so much as a nod or a hello.”

“Yeah, most cats aren’t polite,” said Grover CLXXXV, though it could have been Grover CLXXXVI, CLXXXVII, or CLXXXVIII. It was hard to keep all of these Grovers apart since they all looked very much alike.

“They should teach you guys some manners,” said Grover CLXXXIX. “But then who am I to complain? A lot of spiders aren’t very well raised either, so there’s that.”

“S-s-so… you guys are brothers?” he asked now. “I mean, the field behind my house is also full of spiders. S-s-so… are they also family?”

“That’s right. We are one big happy family, and since we’re all in town for the gathering, we had to find a place to stay, so we’re all spread out a little. My brothers and I picked this here backyard of your buddy Kingman. Just for the time being. Until the gathering.”

“Gathering?” asked Dooley. “What gathering would this be?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard about the gathering? Well, once every year, all the Grovers get together to celebrate.”

“Yeah, Grovers come from all over the country,” said Grover CLXXXV.

“And even from other countries,” said Grover CLXXXVI.

“It’s a huge gathering,” said Grover CLXXXIX. “And since we’re such a big family, it’s hard to find host families. But this year I think we managed just fine, haven’t we, fellas?”

“Absolutely,” said Grover CLXXXV. “I think all the Grovers have found lodging this year.”

“Last year we held our gathering in Los Angeles,” said Grover CLXXXIX. “And for some reason, we had a hard time finding a place to stay for every member of the family. In the end, we had to resort to putting a lot of them up at one of the amusement parks they got out there.”

“Frankly, I was nervous this year,” said Grover CLXXXVI. “When Dad mentioned Hampton Cove, I figured he must have gone and lost his mind. ‘Are you crazy?’ I said. ‘This teeny tiny town has to host the entire Grover clan?’ But I guess he was right after all. You really have a wonderful little town here, D-d-d-Dooley.”

“It’s just Dooley,” said Dooley.

“That’s what I said. ‘D-d-d-Dooley.’ Anyway, I’m glad Dad insisted. I think we’ll have the best Grover family gathering ever.”

“Though the one we held in Texas was pretty epic, too, wasn’t it?” said Grover CLXXXV.

“Oh, don’t get me started on that one,” said Grover CLXXXIX. “I was staying in a cowshed, of all places. And those cows did not like it, I can tell you. They tried to get us to move out, and when that didn’t work, they even got the farmer involved. There was a big to-do, and I got so stressed out I couldn’t even make a straight web for weeks afterward.”

“So… you guys are only in town for a couple of days?” asked Dooley.

“For the Grover gathering,” Grover CLXXXIX confirmed. “Once that’s over, we’re out of here.”

“Oh, good,” he said, and even though he hadn’t wanted to make it sound as if he couldn’t wait until the spiders shifted again, it must have come across like that, for all of the Grovers gave him dirty looks.

“I knew it,” said Grover CLXXXV. “Once again, the locals hate it when we descend upon their town. It’s always the same story.”

“Yeah, we seem to have a pretty lousy reputation,” said Grover CLXXXVI. “Time and time again they get the authorities involved in trying to shift us. Even though we’re probably the cleanest family of all the different Grover clans.”

“So… there are more Grovers?” asked Dooley.

“Oh, absolutely!” said Grover CLXXXVII. “You’ve got the New York Grovers, the Montana Grovers, the Utah Grovers…”

“And let’s not forget the Ohio Grovers,” said Grover CLXXXVIII.

They all laughed. “Don’t get me started on those fools,” said Grover CLXXXIX.

Dooley would have asked what was so special about the Ohio Grovers, but he had a feeling he probably didn’t want to know.

“There’s a couple of Grovers in our backyard also,” he said.

“There are Grovers all over the place,” said Grover CLXXXVI. “And if you don’t like it, D-d-d-Dooley, all you have to do is file an official complaint with the organizers. They’ll make sure that the Grovers giving you trouble are reprimanded.”

“Us Grovers like to run a clean ship,” said Grover CLXXXV. “Our reputation is everything.”

“There was a time we didn’t care about such things,” said Grover CLXXXIX. “But after we ran into trouble with the law back in the summer of ’86, we’ve cleaned up our act. Nowadays, we like to be in good standing with the locals. Isn’t that right, Grovers?”

“Absolutely!” the other Grovers agreed.

“Well, I guess that’s fine then,” said Dooley, much relieved that these Grovers would only stick around for their gathering. “So when is this gathering of yours?”

“Um… when is it, exactly, fellas?” asked Grover CLXXXIX.

“This weekend, I believe?” said Grover CLXXXV. “You have to excuse us, Dooley. The date has changed a couple of times due to unforeseen circumstances.”

“Grandad got sick,” Grover CLXXXIX explained. “And so for a while there we thought about calling the whole thing off. I mean, Pop Grover is the one who started this whole thing, so there wouldn’t be much use doing it without him.”

“He has been having second thoughts about that, though,” said Grover CLXXXV.

“He has?” asked Grover CLXXXIX.

“Absolutely! And he wants us to continue organizing these gatherings, even after he’s gone. Says it’s a Grover family tradition that he would like us to honor.”

“Why did he tell you, and not me?” asked Grover CLXXXIX.

“Because he trusts me,” said Grover CLXXXV.

“What are you saying? That he doesn’t trust me?”

“I’m not saying anything,” said Grover CLXXXV. “All I’m saying is that Pop trusts me. Draw your own conclusions if you must.”

“I’m going to talk to him,” said Grover CLXXXIX. “This is so not fair. After everything I’ve done for that man!”

While the spiders argued, Dooley decided to slip away unseen. He ducked down and hurried underneath the Grovers dangling from the gutter, in through the pet flap and into the store. When he arrived on the sidewalk, he was pleased to find there weren’t any Grovers around. Possibly they preferred the backyards of the ‘hosts’ they had selected.

“Where have you been?” asked Kingman.

“Oh, Kingman, it’s a long story,” he said. And then he told him all about the Grovers and their annual gathering.

Neither Max nor Kingman appeared overly concerned.

“How many Grovers are there?” asked Max.

“I’m not sure,” said Dooley. “They didn’t seem to know themselves, but probably thousands—maybe more.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” said Max, and since Max was the smartest cat that Dooley knew, he figured that maybe he had overreacted a little. Maybe everything would be fine.

CHAPTER 11

The meeting must have concluded because Odelia personally came to pick us up.

“I knew I would find you guys here,” she said. “Hop in.”

It isn’t every day that your personal limousine drives up, so we felt a little mollified after the snub we had received.

“See you guys,” said Kingman as he waved at us. “Tonight at cat choir?”

“Absolutely,” I said. Come rain or shine, cat choir is a must-go-to activity for any cat worth their salt in Hampton Cove.

“So what did you and Kingman talk about?” asked Odelia as Chase put his foot on the gas and the car sped up.

“Oh, nothing special,” I said. “Something about spiders. More importantly: what did you and the chief talk about, and all of those other important people?”

She laughed. “Still sore that you were excluded, huh, Max?”

“A little,” I confessed. “It’s never a lot of fun to be kicked out of an important meeting just because you’re a cat.”

“Okay, so the fire chief confirmed that the building came down not because of a gas leak but because of a bomb. The explosives expert found the remnants of the device—or I should probably say devices, because there were several.”

“So there were several explosions?” I asked.

“To bring down a building of that size there had to be. The bombs must have been planted in the underground parking garage, on the support beams, to take them all out. The expert also told us that it’s not easy to bring a building down like that in one fell swoop, so the person or persons that did this knew exactly what they were doing.”

“Demolition experts?” I asked.

“Exactly. And since not a lot of people have that kind of experience, they’ll be looking more closely into possible suspects with that type of background. I can also tell you right away that the investigation is out of our hands as of one hour ago. The FBI came in and took over, as they suspect there might be a terrorist angle to the bombing.”

“So… you’re not in charge anymore?”

“That’s correct. The FBI will be handling the investigation from now on. Chase and I have been relieved of our duties.”

“That’s too bad,” I said. “But understandable, I guess.”

“It doesn’t answer the question of why a terrorist would target an office building in a small town like Hampton Cove. And also, no terrorist organization has claimed responsibility, so that leads Chase and me to suspect that maybe something else is going on here.”

“So what are you saying?” I asked. “That you will keep investigating?”

“Well, not in an official capacity, obviously. But since I’m a reporter, nothing is stopping me from carrying out my own investigation.”

“And what about Chase?”

She clapped her hubby on the shoulder. “Chase is officially on vacation, aren’t you, babe?”

“Sure am,” said Chase with a happy grin.

“He’s going to help me investigate this business about the bombing, and he’s going to help me write my article,” said Odelia. “Which means you’re my researcher now, babe.”

“Sure am,” he said, and his smile increased in wattage. It certainly was a change of pace for the cop.

“So Chase will be working for you?”

“Something like that. Our roles are fluid, so it’s not as if I’m the reporter and he’s the researcher. We’ll tackle this thing together, and if you like, you can join us, Max. And also Dooley, of course.”

“Dooley is my researcher,” I said. “He has already researched those spiders and has discovered where they have all come from and why they’re here.”

“Spiders? What spiders?” she said.

“The spiders that are all over Hampton Cove. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen them?”

“I have seen a couple of them,” she admitted. “But Chase put them out. He’s good at that.”

“What did I put out?” asked Chase.

“Spiders,” she said.

“There are a lot of them,” he said. “Never seen so many. Must be the season or something.”

“It’s the gathering,” said Dooley. “The Grovers have picked Hampton Cove as the location for their annual family gathering, and so they’re all coming here. From all over the country—and even the world. Soon all of Hampton Cove will be filled with them.”

“That sounds great, Dooley,” said Odelia, absentmindedly. “Okay, so I think we should focus on the leads we have right now,” she told her husband. “First, we need to find the brother, and then we need to talk to that model—or models, plural. And we also need to look into this message.”

“Message?” I asked. “What message?”

“It’s the strangest thing,” she said. “Someone sent me a message this morning. Something about a body being buried underneath Ophelae’s headquarters.”

“A body is buried underneath the building that was bombed?”

She nodded. “Whoever sent that message claims that Ophelia Civilian killed his brother Laertes and buried his body in the building’s foundation. And now that the building is gone, we should dig it up and charge Ophelia with murder.”

“Could be a crank,” Chase suggested.

“Or it could be real,” she said.

“What did your uncle say?”

“He wasn’t too keen. Like you, he seemed to think it was a crank.”

“We better find out what happened to Laertes Civilian,” said Chase.

“I’ll talk to my uncle again. Maybe he remembers this big court case.”

And so she got busy dialing her uncle and put him on speakerphone.

“Look, it’s very simple,” he said. “If Laertes Civilian is still alive, the message is bogus. If he isn’t… I’ll ask those two agents the feds have foisted on me to investigate.”

“You don’t remember the court case?”

“I don’t. But if it was settled out of court, probably there wasn’t any publicity around the case. They wouldn’t have wanted to rock the boat and scare off their customers.”

“Better tell those agents. They have the resources to find Laertes Civilian.”

“Let’s hope they do,” said her uncle. “Though I have to say from what I’ve seen, they’re not exactly the smartest federal agents I’ve ever worked with. They don’t seem to grasp the most simple thing about this case. Wanna know what they just came up with?”

“No, what?”

“They figure that the building was brought down by terrorists to send a message to the President, since the First Lady is a big fan of Fleur.”

“Fleur?”

“The perfume Ophelae is developing a campaign for.”

“That seems a little far-fetched,” she said.

“Far-fetched? It’s nuts! But anyway, I’ll run this business about the body in the basement by them. It’s up to them to decide whether they want to pursue it or not.”

He hung up and Chase gave Odelia a look that spoke volumes. “If they don’t want to dig up that body, then maybe we could.”

“We’d need a bulldozer. Unless you want to dig with your bare hands?”

He grinned. “No, I don’t. But I can operate a digger.”

“Where are we going to find a digger?”

“Oh, I can find one, don’t you worry about that. Operating it and making sure that nobody calls the cops is another thing altogether. Though I can imagine that the neighbors wouldn’t be too surprised. After all, the site will need to be cleared at some point.”

“Let’s wait and see how the feds react,” she suggested, “before we hire an excavator and you put on your hard hat, shall we?”

“Me? We, you mean. I can’t do this alone, babe.”

“It would be quite the scoop, wouldn’t it? If we find a body buried underneath all of that rubble? I might even get my article picked up by one of the national papers.”

“Okay, where are we going to set up our evidence room?”

“Let’s do it at my office,” she suggested.

And so it was decided. For now, the police investigation would be conducted from the confines of the Gazette offices. It was a nice change of pace and had one big advantage: Uncle Alec couldn’t exclude us from the investigation. Which was a win in my book.

CHAPTER 12

Dooley didn’t know what all this digging business was about, but what he did know was that pretty soon now the whole town would be full of Grovers, and it would become more or less unlivable for its inhabitants. His humans didn’t seem to care all that much, and so when they arrived in Odelia’s office where she and Chase were going to settle in and run their investigation—though it wasn’t an investigation anymore but a story since she had put on her reporter hat again and Chase was a researcher now—he and Max ventured outside to take a look at the little backyard that Dan and Odelia used from time to time to enjoy a cup of coffee and have lunch while discussing possible stories for the paper.

As Dooley had expected, the small space was filled to capacity with spiders.

“Oh, no,” he said. “They’re everywhere, Max!”

“Apparently so,” said Max, who didn’t seem all that concerned. “How long did you say they were going to be in town?”

“Until the gathering is over. A couple of days, maybe?”

“See? That’s not so bad, is it?”

“But what if they’re poisonous, Max?”

“I’m sure they’re simply your garden-variety spider, Dooley, so they’re not poisonous at all. In fact, why don’t we ask one of them.” And so he strode up to the nearest little tree that Dan must have planted there a long time ago. “Hi there, spider,” said Max. “Your name wouldn’t happen to be Grover?”

“That’s right,” said Grover. “I’m Grover XXI, and who are you?”

“Max I,” said Max.

“Well, Max I,” said Grover XXI, “it is a pleasure to meet you, I’m sure. How can I be of assistance on this fine, splendiferous day?”

“My friend Dooley and I were wondering if you guys are poisonous in any way?”

“No, we’re not,” said Grover XXI. “Though some of our relatives are. I’m not sure if they’ve arrived yet. They’re the Amazon Rainforest Grovers, and they should be arriving any day now. You can imagine it takes them a little longer to get here as it’s a long journey.”

“So… the Grovers from the Amazon Rainforest are poisonous?” asked Dooley.

The spider smiled. “Wait a minute. You aren’t the D-d-d-Dooley that my cousin Grover CLXXXIX mentioned, are you?”

Dooley stared at the spider with open-mouthed astonishment. “How did you know?”

“Us Grovers are all connected,” said Grover XXI proudly. “Don’t ask me how it works, but Pop Grover thinks it’s got something to do with the fact that we all share one brain. The fact of the matter is that when something happens to one Grover, the other Grovers all know about it immediately. And so when Grover CLXXXIX talked to you, the information was transmitted to all of his cousins and siblings and whatnot.”

“Some kind of collective consciousness,” said Max, nodding. “Very interesting. I’ve heard about that, but I didn’t know that spiders were part of that experience.”

“Well, we are,” said Grover XXI. “Though as far as I know, it doesn’t extend beyond the family. Other clans may have the same thing going on, though. But since we don’t spend all that much time socializing with the other clans, I couldn’t tell you.”

“No, I guess your own clan is big enough that you never have to socialize with anyone else,” said Max with a smile. “Look, I’ll be blunt, how long are you guys planning to stick around? Just to have a rough idea, you know.”

Grover XXI twitched his legs—or at least a few of them. “Grover CLXXXIX figured that you guys didn’t like the idea of us sticking around for too long. But I’m afraid that can’t be helped, Max. The annual gathering is very important for us. It’s the only time that we get to meet the rest of the family, and so it will take as long as it takes.”

“But you must have some rough idea, right?”

The spider shook its head. “Only Pop Grover knows, and he hasn’t told us how long he plans to stick around this time. He’s a little poorly, you know, so this might very well be his last time, and he wants to make the most of it.”

“Yes, Grover CLXXXIX told me your grandad hasn’t been feeling well,” said Dooley.

“Then again, the Grovers are like the Rolling Stones, you know. They keep announcing their farewell tour and still they keep going, so I expect that Pop Grover might be around for another ten years—or not.”

“Well, I certainly wish him all the best,” said Max. “And I wish you a great gathering, Grover XXI.”

“Thanks, Max. I appreciate that. And in fact, all the Grovers appreciate that.” He thought for a moment. “You know what? If you want, you two can be our guests of honor this year. We don’t often do this, but since you seem like two fine upstanding cats, I think I’ll go out on a limb and tell you that Pop wouldn’t mind if you joined our gathering.”

“That’s… very kind of you,” said Max.

Clearly, it wasn’t what the big cat had been expecting, but he couldn’t very well turn down the invitation without insulting the Grovers, and so when they returned indoors, he said with a sort of sad face, “Looks like we’re for it, buddy.”

“What do you mean, for it?”

“We can’t turn down that invitation without insulting the Grovers. So it looks like we’ll have to join the big spider party.”

Dooley made a face. “But I don’t want to join the big spider party, Max. I don’t even like spiders!”

“No, they’re not my favorite creatures either, but maybe it won’t be so bad. It will definitely be an experience, you know.”

That was certainly true. Dooley had never been present at a spider gathering. Though if he was absolutely honest, he would have much preferred if they could have let this chalice pass from them.

CHAPTER 13

Harriet had been patiently waiting until the famous director who was going to direct her in her breakthrough role returned. She didn’t have long to wait. And so when the man appeared in the backyard, she immediately accosted him. “Do you have a script for me, Mr. Timberlake? It’s just that I would like to start rehearsing my part in your movie.”

The director gave her a smile and patted her on the head. “Nice kitty,” he said. “Are you hungry? Is that it? I’m afraid I don’t have any food for you. But let’s look inside. I’m sure that your human will have something tasty.”

And much to her surprise, he let himself into the house with his own key. Apparently, Odelia or Chase trusted the man to such an extent they had supplied him with a key—a rare privilege. He certainly was making himself at home, she thought, and wondered if this was a good thing or a bad thing. She decided that the man who was going to win her an Oscar for Best Feline Actress in a Leading Role probably should be indulged, and so she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt as far as being the new man of the house.

He waved at them to enter the house and she and Brutus both followed him in. Much to her surprise, all he had to offer was her own bowl, with her own kibble—no script.

“But… I know where to find my food, Mr. Timberlake,” she said. “All I need from you is the script. With my lines, you know, so I can practice them with Brutus.”

“And if you want to give me a part in your movie, I wouldn’t say no,” said Brutus. And when she gave him a strange look, he quickly added, “Just a small role would suffice.”

“But snuggle bug, you’re my sparring partner,” she said. “You can’t be in the movie.”

“I could have a walk-on part,” he argued. “Or I could be in the background in the big scenes. Like screaming my head off when the house gets blown up or something.”

“I guess so,” she said dubiously. She didn’t know what was wrong with people these days. Everyone wanted to steal her thunder for some reason. Jealousy, probably. But at least from her own boyfriend, she had expected a little more loyalty and support. This was her big break, after all, and she needed all the support she could get.

“Nice kitty,” the director repeated as he patted her head. But instead of handing her the script, he placed a laptop on the table and started messing around with a card he extracted from his camera and entered into the computer to look at footage of the big building having collapsed. It didn’t look all that exciting to her, but the guy was looking at the images as if it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He was practically slavering over the images.

He had also interviewed a couple of people, and somehow had managed to find a person who had shot a short and amateuristic video of the building when it had collapsed in a cloud of smoke and debris. You could hear screams in the background and people hurrying away from the scene. It all added to the excitement the director was feeling.

“I really hope I get an Oscar,” she told Brutus. “If this guy is going to drop a house on top of me, it better be worth it.”

“He’s not going to drop a house on top of you,” said Brutus. “It’s all fake. Green screen, just like he said.”

“Mm. I hope so, otherwise I’m out of here and he can find himself a different actress.”

The man’s phone chimed and he picked up. “You gotta see this to believe it,” he told the person on the other side. “An actual building was blown up. Right? I just arrived in town and already they’re blowing up buildings. It’s fate, Cort. I’m telling you. Yeah, get here as soon as you can, all right? I’ve got the perfect place for the Monster and the Wench. A nice little place, but dark. Very dark. It’s gonna look amazing on film. Yeah, see you soon.”

After he had hung up, he studied the footage a little while longer, then closed his laptop and stared off into space, thinking hard. Finally, he got up and started taking pictures of the house. First the rooms and then he ventured outside and took pictures of the rear facade, the side, the front of the house, and even tried to clamber up a drainpipe to take some pictures of the roof. When that didn’t work out well, he came back down and studied the pictures he had taken on his digital camera. He seemed to like what he saw, for he smiled.

Finally, Harriet had had enough of this nonsense. She went and took up a position in front of the guy. “Okay, so where is my script, buddy boy?” she demanded. “I mean, how can I be expected to prepare for my role if I don’t have a script?”

Once again, he sufficed by patting her on the head and walked off to take a look over the fence. He gasped in pleasant surprise at what he saw there. He picked up his phone again. “You are not going to believe what I just found! Spiders, Cort. Thousands of them—millions! My god, this is going to be the best movie I’ve ever made.”

“Of course it’s going to be the best movie you’ve ever made,” said Harriet. “Because I’m the star!”

But the guy continued to ignore her. Instead, he clambered over the fence, and before long was on the other side, shooting pictures of the spiders and their intricate webs.

Harriet and Brutus followed suit, by using the little stepladder Chase had placed there. “It is a little scary, isn’t it?” said Brutus as they surveyed the work the spiders had done in the field. It was almost as if a fog had descended there, but it wasn’t fog but the result of all of the spiderwebs that formed a thick opaque blanket of pearly white gossamer.

“Yeah, it is a little creepy,” she confirmed. “Better we don’t venture out here anymore.”

“No, let’s stay on our side of the fence. And hope that these spiders do the same.”

But even as they were voicing these thoughts, Harriet saw that several spiders were climbing the fence and venturing into their backyard. Pretty soon they’d be all over the backyard and then… inside the house? She couldn’t bear the thought.

Clark Timberlake wasn’t all that concerned. On the contrary, he looked like a child with a brand-new toy as he took picture after picture of the spider colony that had selected their neighborhood for their presence. Which is when Harriet got a scary thought.

“He’s not… he’s not going to want me to do anything with these spiders, is he? If he is, I’m quitting the movie. I swear, Brutus. Spiders are not in my contract.”

“But you haven’t signed a contract yet, sweetness,” said Brutus.

Her eyes went wide. “Oh, no! He’s going to make me work without a contract. But he can’t! I need a clause in there that specifically forbids me from working with spiders. Also, a nudity clause.”

“A nudity clause?”

“I am not going to be nude in my first movie, poohbear. Out of the question.”

“But… we’re cats. We’re always nude. Well, underneath our fur anyway.”

“Oh, that’s right,” she said. She had momentarily forgotten about that. “Okay, well at least I want the SAG-AFTRA Health Plan. And the official day rates, of course.”

“Of course,” said Brutus.

“And streaming residuals.”

“Uh-huh,” said Brutus, his eyes glazing over a little.

“That’s why we need an agent, papa bear. He’ll negotiate all of that stuff on our behalf. Make sure we don’t get fleeced. And if I don’t get what I want,” she added militantly, “I’m staging a walkout!”

“Right,” said Brutus, then: “What’s a walkout?”

“We’re going on strike, smoochie poo. No lousy schlock director is going to trample all over my rights as a performer and an artist.”

“That sounds great,” said Brutus.

“When can you get here?” asked Clark as he paced the backyard. “Okay, fine. I’ll start setting everything up. Oh, and can you do me one favor? Can you bring Susie along with you? Yeah, I know it’s not my week, but I need her for the cat parts. Thanks, bud.”

He hung up and for some reason started singing at the top of his lungs.

“We are the champions!” he sang. “Of the world!”

CHAPTER 14

Odelia felt as if she was on unexplored terrain with this bombing business. She had tackled other stories before, but this was the first time that she was collaborating with her husband, and without the benefit of their police badges that opened doors wherever they went. This time they’d have to try a completely new approach, and since she had no idea if they’d be able to pull it off, she decided to consult the only person she could think of.

Which is why she was seated in front of her editor, who had listened carefully and was now gazing up at the ceiling to think about possible advice he could give her.

“It’s definitely a major story,” said Dan. “So we need something real quick, Odelia.”

No pressure, she thought. “I know we need something quick, but how should we go about this? I don’t want to run the risk of running afoul of the FBI.”

“Just make sure you stay out of their way,” said the white-bearded editor. “If they go left, you go right. If they go right, you go left. And so on and so forth.”

“Yeah, but what does that mean, exactly?”

“It means that if you see those agents, you get the hell out of there. Be like a ghost, you know. Make sure they don’t even know that you’re also working on this case. In the best-case scenario, they shouldn’t even know who you are. Shouldn’t be aware of your existence.”

“They’ve seen our faces,” she said. “So that’s not going to work.”

“Just do what you usually do,” he said, which wasn’t much advice either. Was the old man losing his touch? It was certainly possible, as he had been doing this for so long he might have forgotten what it meant to pursue a story of this magnitude. Mostly they dealt with local stuff that wasn’t all that important or consequential. A milk spill on the farm. An escaped pig running amok on Main Street. An electricity grid issue at their local mall, causing the lights to go out. But this? This was huge. This was… life-threatening.

“Are you sure you want to take Chase along with you?” asked Dan. “I mean, you’re used to working alone, honey.”

“Chase and I have been working together for so long now it feels very natural.”

“I just hope he remembers that he isn’t a cop right now. He’s on vacation so he can’t go around arresting people when he feels like it. He’ll have to restrain that particular urge.”

“I think Chase knows exactly what he can and cannot do,” she said, getting up. “Okay, so I’ll try to get a story on your desk as soon as possible.”

“Have you looked into the angle of the company Ophelae was designing the campaign for?” asked Dan, tapping the notes she had printed out.

“Fleur? Yeah, we’re going to talk to some of the models they’re using for the campaign.”

“I don’t mean the models,” he said. “I mean the company itself. As I understand, the new CEO wants to go for an edgier campaign, tapping a new demographic. So there will also be an old CEO who might not necessarily agree with this approach, who might not be on board with a strategy that could end up alienating their existing customer base.”

She hadn’t thought of that. “Gee, thanks, Dan. You’re right. There will probably be plenty of resistance within the company to this new approach. We better go and have a chat with the new CEO and find out how pronounced this resistance is.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me if they’re the ones behind this bombing. It smacks of a takeover battle to me. And oftentimes the victims in these wars are innocent people. Like Ophelae.”

Okay, so maybe the old man hadn’t lost his touch after all.

As she left his office, she almost stepped on Max and Dooley.

“Hey, you guys,” she said. “Where did you come from?”

“We have been invited to the Grover gathering,” said Dooley. “And even though I don’t feel like going, Max says it would be rude if we didn’t. So it looks like we have no choice but to go.”

“What is the Grover gathering?” she asked.

“The Grovers are a family of spiders,” Max explained. “Every year they all come together, and this year they’ve picked Hampton Cove as the location for their gathering. And since they seem to like us for some reason, Dooley and I have been invited to attend.”

“Spiders, huh? I thought you didn’t like spiders?”

“We don’t,” said Dooley. “Which is why I don’t feel like accepting the invitation. But that would be an insult to the Grovers, and they might come after us. So we better go.”

“Yeah, you don’t want to get those spiders upset,” said Max. “Especially as there are so many of them.”

She laughed. “How many spiders can one family have, right?”

“A couple of million?” Max suggested, and her smile was wiped from her face.

“A few million? Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. And in the next couple of days they will all arrive in town. So it’s going to be a very interesting time, Odelia.”

“At least they’re not venomous,” said Dooley.

“Yeah, at least there’s that,” said Max.

Bombings, spider gatherings? Max was right. These were very strange times they were living through.

“Okay, so we’ve got another suspect,” she said as she walked back into her office. “According to Dan, this might be connected to a possible conflict within the company of Fleur. If the old and new management didn’t see eye to eye about the new campaign, it might have sparked a takeover battle between the two parties, with Ophelae as collateral damage. So we better look into that as well.”

“I’ve got an interview lined up with the model whose face is featured in the new Fleur campaign,” said Chase. “She seemed reluctant to talk to us, but when I told her that it was important, and that lives depended on it, she agreed to sit down with us for a brief chat.”

And so they were off—for their first story as husband and wife.

CHAPTER 15

Sherrie Garrett didn’t look all that convinced that talking to a pair of reporters was a good use of her time. When we met her in the bar of the Star Hotel, she looked nervous and ill at ease and kept checking her phone. “I’m not sure what this has to do with me,” she said.

“You are the face of the national Fleur campaign, right?” asked Odelia as she placed her tablet on the table so she could take notes.

“That’s right.”

“Have you seen the campaign?”

“I have,” she said, still in that same guarded manner.

“And did you like what you saw?” asked Chase.

“I’m sorry, but what does this have to do with the bombing?” asked the woman, who was young and pretty but also very skinny and with pretty bad skin. I recognized her from the images Odelia had shown us of the new Fleur campaign, and in the pictures, she looked exactly the way she was—no makeup had been used and no special filters applied or changes made to her appearance. It was certainly an unusual approach.

“We’re looking for someone who had a reason to target the Ophelae ad agency,” Odelia explained. “And one of the people working on the campaign told us that she had her doubts whether you would appreciate your face being front and center in the campaign, without…” She hesitated.

“Go on. Say it,” the young woman challenged.

“Well, usually these campaign images are heavily retouched. Especially since some of these images will be blown up to large proportions later on. Billboards of several feet wide and high that will be all across the country, since this is a national campaign.”

“International, even,” said the model. “Which means my face will be all over the world if things go as planned.”

“And you don’t have any objections to being shown exactly the way you are?” asked Odelia. “Without any filters or work done in Photoshop?”

The girl vehemently shook her head. “I believe in this campaign. I believe that it’s only right to show people the way a real woman looks. To be honest and truthful, you see. I mean, what kind of an example do we give to the young women of this world if all they see is perfection—a perfection that is completely phony? I want them to see me the way I really am. For them to understand that a famous model like me can also have bad skin and not always look her best. It’s the right message to send out, and I for one am fully on board with it.” She said it in a defiant sort of way that told me that she had thought about this and had anticipated the questions Odelia and Chase were asking. “Look, I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t like these questions. You actually dare to insinuate that because I might not like the way I look in these pictures, I would be prepared to bomb an entire building? That’s just ludicrous. Not to mention extremely insulting.”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way,” said Chase.

“Well, I do feel that way. And frankly, I think I would like to end this interview. You’re not the police, so if I’m not mistaken I’m under no obligation to talk to you.” And with these words, she promptly got up and walked away. And as she did, I saw she was stopped by two men, who showed her a pair of badges and then escorted her out of the hotel.

“Looks like she’ll have to answer the same questions,” said Chase. “Only this time at the police station in an interview room.”

“She won’t like it,” said Odelia.

“I felt she was a little too defensive. Almost as if she’s got something to hide.”

“She’s right, though,” said Odelia. “It is insulting to assume that she hates her own face so much she would be willing to blow up an entire building. I mean, she could just as well have talked to the people in charge of the campaign and asked them to tone things down.”

“We’re assuming they were prepared to listen,” said Chase. “The impression I got is that the people in charge of the campaign have a very specific vision of what this campaign should look like and aren’t prepared to change one thing. And since Sherrie probably signed a contract, she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if she doesn’t like the pictures.”

“Still,” said Odelia as she got up, “would she be prepared to blow up an entire building? And also, where would she get the expertise? The explosion investigator informed us that it would have taken a demolition expert to bring a building this size down in such a controlled way. And Sherrie may have a lot of talents, but I doubt whether she’s a demo expert.”

“Easy to check,” said Chase as he took his phone from his pocket. “I’ll ask my team to run a background check on her, shall I?”

“Do you still have a team?”

“Of course I have a team. I’ll always have a team. They may have been assigned to a different case right now, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do me this one little favor.”

Something told me that there would be many little favors, and until Uncle Alec noticed, that was all fine and good. But once he did, Chase’s team would stop taking his calls.

CHAPTER 16

Loren Antic, the new CEO of Fleur, was only too happy to meet with members of the press. But when he discovered that Odelia and Chase weren’t there to talk about the new campaign, he was already a lot less excited. “I thought you wanted to discuss our new fragrance,” he said a little sadly. “If I had known it was the bombing of our ad agency you wanted to see me about, I would have told you to talk to our press office instead.”

We were in the man’s office, which could only be described as opulent. It was located in a part of Hampton Cove where you wouldn’t immediately expect such a big company. They had set up in a regular old brownstone that had been transformed into offices.

“We’re moving out of this old dump next year,” he said as he gestured with a disdainful sweep of his arm to our current surroundings. “My predecessor wanted to keep us here because of tradition,” he said, making air quotes. “And also because a lot of the people who work here live in town, and it was easier for them to commute to work every day.”

“Where are you moving to?” asked Chase.

“An office tower we’re constructing in the business district,” he said.

“It’s going to mean a longer commute for your staff,” said Odelia.

“Well, that can’t be helped,” he said, a little annoyed with all these questions. “That’s progress for you. Bigger building, more space for expansion, and out of this dreadful old dump. Did you know that I suffer from a cold every single year? It’s this horrible draft. Almost like a gale force wind blowing through the cracks in the walls. You simply can’t properly insulate these old buildings. No, better to tear it down and build something new.” He must have realized that his words might be interpreted as insensitive in light of the tragedy that had befallen Ophelae, and he quickly changed the subject. “Look, it’s true that my predecessor held fast to tradition, but when I was appointed the new CEO by the board of directors, it was with the specific brief to make a big change and expose a much younger demographic to our product line. Our flagship fragrance has always been Demure, and it has appealed to generations of women. But not young women. They hate us and associate us with their parents and grandparents. So to get them on board, we needed to make some drastic changes. Wipe the slate clean. Which is why we are putting this new fragrance on the market. It’s called Move! and will revolutionize our customer base. Or at least that’s the plan. To that end we’ve asked Ophelae to design a campaign that is edgier than usual.”

“It’s going to be quite a shock for your traditional customers,” said Odelia.

“That’s fine,” said Mr. Antic, steepling his fingers on his desk. “We’re not taking Demure off the market. The product has served us well and will always have a place in our lineup. But Move! will get the main chunk of our ad budget, and we hope to give this launch such a level of oomph that our name will be all over social media where the kids hang out. There will be TikTok videos, and we’re working with some very popular influencers.”

“What does your old CEO Darnell Myerscough think about this?” asked Chase.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” said the CEO. “The man is pushing eighty, and so I assume he spends his days playing golf now and doesn’t follow too closely what happens at Fleur anymore. After all, the shareholders decided that it was time for him to retire and for some new blood to come in and make some much-needed changes.”

“You and your predecessor don’t get along?” asked Odelia.

“It’s not a matter of who gets on with whom,” said the CEO, not hiding his irritation at the line of questioning. “All I do and all I’ve ever wanted to do is what is best for the company and our bottom line. And I’m sure my predecessor had the same wish to see Fleur flourish, as it were.” He smiled a fine smile at his little pun. “Look, I don’t understand where you’re going with this. What does this have to do with the bombing of Ophelae?”

“Can you tell us where to find your predecessor, sir?” asked Chase instead as he got up. He seemed to feel they’d already wasted enough time talking to this man and nothing much would come out of it if they went over the same ground a second and a third time.

“Absolutely,” said Mr. Antic, and scribbled down a telephone number and gave it to the cop. “Here you go. Though I think you’ll find him… less than eager to talk to the media. Ever since Darnell retired he stopped taking my calls. Or those of anyone in the company. The only person he still talks to is Rebecca Mockford, who represents the family who owns Fleur. But that’s probably because she was always more a friend than a boss to him.”

“I’m not sure I like this man,” said Dooley. “He seems very annoyed at our presence here, and I have a feeling he doesn’t answer his questions as honestly as he should.”

“What do you think he’s lying about?”

“About the previous CEO. I think he probably knows a lot more than he’s letting on about that man. And I also think they had a big fight when he became CEO and the other one was asked to retire.”

“If he’s eighty he may have been happy to retire,” I said. “Maybe he asked for it himself. So he could work on his golf swing.”

“Or he could have been pushed out. If you’re still working at eighty, it’s because you love your job, and to lose it and have to hand it over to this guy must have hurt.”

Odelia and Chase thanked the CEO, and as we walked out of his office, I saw that he picked up his phone and grumbled into it, “Why didn’t you warn me, Vanessa? This was no interview. This was an ambush!”

As we left the building, I saw the same two FBI agents that we had seen at the Star Hotel walk in. They didn’t seem to notice us.

“Look at those men, Max,” said Dooley. “Do you think they’re following us?”

“They’re the FBI agents who took over Chase’s investigation,” I said. “They’re not following us but running their investigation along the same lines we are.”

“Which is probably a good thing, right?”

“I guess so,” I said.

“Though they’re always one step behind us, so that’s also good.”

Whether this was a good thing or a bad thing remained to be seen, but as long as we didn’t actually run into them and they officially told Chase and Odelia to stand down, it was all to the good. Though, can an FBI agent tell a reporter not to pursue a story? Somehow I didn’t think they could. And also, Odelia is not the kind of person who likes to be told what to do. So if the agents told her off, it might have the opposite effect.

The moment we had stepped outside, Chase called the number Loren Antic had given us, and moments later he was in communication with Darnell Myerscough, the old CEO.

“Hi, sir. My name is Chase Kingsley and I would like to ask you a few questions about Fleur, if I may.”

“Tell him you’re a reporter,” Odelia urged.

“I’m a reporter for the Hampton Cove Gazette,” said Chase reluctantly. In all the years he’d been a cop, this was probably the first time he had to introduce himself as a reporter, and it clearly didn’t sit well with him. As he listened, his face lit up with a smile. “Thank you, sir. Yes, I know where it is. We’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

CHAPTER 17

Mr. Antic had been right about one thing: his predecessor did indeed like to spend his leisure time—of which he now had oodles—on the golf course. We met Mr. Myerscough at the ninth hole, and he seemed a lot more relaxed and bronzed than his successor.

“So what is this all about?” he asked. “I don’t normally talk to reporters anymore since my retirement, but I was intrigued by what you told me over the phone, young man.”

He was taking a break from the game, and while his caddy stood smoking a cigarette and talking into his phone next to a nearby tree, the former CEO leaned on his club.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, sir,” said Odelia, “but there was an explosion this morning at Ophelae, Fleur’s long-time advertisement agency.”

“Yes, I saw it on the news,” said Mr. Myerscough. “Dreadful business. Absolutely dreadful. Have they recovered any victims from the rubble?”

“It would seem that everyone made it out alive,” said Odelia.

“Good. That’s good,” he said as he fixed her with a curious look. “Okay, so out with it. What’s this all about?”

“Ophelae is working on a new ad campaign for the new fragrance your successor is launching next month. Move! is targeting the youthful segment of the population specifically, and the ads will appear on social media where young people hang out.”

“Well, I don’t know a lot about it,” said the ex-CEO as his eyes danced from Odelia to Chase, clearly wanting to find out why two reporters would interrupt his precious game of golf. “I retired last year and haven’t kept in touch with what my successor has concocted.”

“Have you seen the new ads, sir?” asked Chase, and held up his phone so he could show the man some of the imagery associated with the new campaign.

The corners of the former CEO’s lips turned down as he regarded the pictures. “Hm,” he said. “No, I must admit I hadn’t seen them. So now you want me to comment on this, is that it? I’ll have to disappoint you. When I left Fleur, I signed a non-disclosure agreement. I can’t possibly comment on anything that goes on at Fleur. Nor do I want to. That’s all in the past for me. I’m enjoying retirement, and I’m glad I’ve left all of that behind me.”

“But don’t you think this will antagonize the current customer base of Fleur, sir?” asked Odelia.

He smiled. “I know what you reporters are like. Always trying to stir up trouble. Get me to give negative feedback on Loren’s plans, then go back to him with a quote and create a big old ruckus. But I won’t give you the satisfaction. I think Loren is doing a great job, and he should, since I’m the one who trained him.”

“But your old customers, they’re not going to appreciate a campaign like this, surely?”

The man shrugged. “Look, if I know Loren, he will be smart about this. He’ll focus the new ads on the kind of people he’s trying to reach. If he advertises on TikTok, for instance, chances are he won’t be getting a lot of eyeballs from our traditional customers, who aren’t on that platform. And he will make a clear distinction between the two markets. One for the old, so to speak, and one for the young. He’s not stupid. He won’t antagonize anyone.”

Odelia and Chase seemed disappointed, and the CEO must have sensed it, for he gave Chase a clap on the back. “Nice try, though. But I’m an old dog at this game, son. I was dealing with reporters from before you were born. Now if there’s nothing else…”

“Just one more thing,” said Chase, the policeman in him asserting itself. “Where were you this morning at nine o’clock, sir?”

Darnell Myerscough laughed a booming laugh. “Are you accusing me of blowing up that building? Now that’s one I hadn’t heard yet. Look, I may not always agree with everything Loren does, but blowing up buildings is not my style. I’d rather play an extra round of golf. And that was exactly what I was doing this morning. You can ask anyone. Ask my caddy over there. He’ll tell you I’m a lousy golfer, but I am getting a little better at this great game every day. And I should, since I’ve been playing non-stop since I retired.”

“Did you retire, sir?” asked Chase. “Or were you pushed out?”

The man eyed the cop for a moment, then said, “You’re good, I have to give you that. Look, it’s true that maybe I needed a push from the board of directors. But at eighty years of age, I can see now that they were right and I was wrong. It was time for me to hang up my spurs. And frankly speaking, my wife also played a big part. She said that she wanted to spend the last good years of our life on a cruise ship and not with me stuck in an office somewhere while she pretended to be interested in some of her local charity committees. So if you’re asking me if I was pushed, I’d say hell yeah I was. But in the end I’m truly grateful to the people who did some of that pushing. And that’s the God’s honest truth.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Chase.

The ex-CEO seemed surprised. “Is that all? I figured you were just warming up. But I’m glad. I’m only at the ninth hole and already three hours have passed. I’m afraid I lied to you when I said I’m getting better. Instead I seem to be getting steadily worse.”

“When are you leaving on your cruise, sir?” asked Odelia.

“Next week. And it’s only the first one of many, or so my wife assures me.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself. After a lifetime of getting up at five in the morning and working non-stop, seven days a week, twelve months a year, frankly I find it hard to occupy my time. Friends who have gone before tell me I’ll get used to it. But I’m not so sure. At least there will be plenty of good food on board, or so I’ve been told.”

“We were on a cruise,” said Odelia. “And we loved it, didn’t we, babe?”

“Yeah, I liked it,” said Chase.

“Oh, so you’re an item?” asked Mr. Myerscough.

“Husband and wife,” said Odelia, showing her wedding ring. “We actually took two cruises. One for our honeymoon and a second one for my parents’ wedding anniversary. In both cases we had a great time.”

“Apart from the murders,” Chase said.

“Murders? What murders?” asked the CEO.

“There was a murder on board the ship the first time,” said Chase. “And also the second time. And since I’m a cop, they asked me to assist in the investigation—both times.”

“Oh, so you’re a cop?”

“Yeah, but I’m on vacation right now,” said Chase. “Which is why I’m helping out Odelia, who’s a reporter.”

“I thought you were pretty good with the questions. Real bulldog mentality.”

“Thank you, sir. But once this vacation is over, I think I’ll stick with being a detective. Much easier that way.”

“More straightforward, huh? You ask them a question and if they don’t give you the right answer, you slap a pair of handcuffs on them?”

Chase grinned. “Something like that.”

“Well, you don’t have to arrest me. I answered all of your questions truthfully. I was very much attached to that job, but I have taken a conscious step back. I had to, for my own sanity, and also because otherwise my wife might divorce me. And I’m not even kidding.”

“No, I can believe that,” said Chase. “But do you think there are people out there who are so upset by the campaign your successor has constructed that they would resort to violence to express their frustration?”

He thought for a moment as he rubbed his chin. “I don’t think so. Our customers aren’t the fanatic kind, and also, I don’t see anyone getting worked up over perfume, do you? It’s not the kind of thing that inspires high emotion. I mean, are people attached to Demure? Sure. But not to the extent they’d be willing to blow up a building just because they’re afraid we’ll stop making it. And besides, we’ll never stop making it and they know that.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Chase. “We’ll let you return to your game.”

“Nice talking to you, detective. And you, Mrs. Kingsley.”

And as we walked away, we saw that the same two agents came sauntering up, to have a word with the CEO.

“Looks like he won’t be able to return to his game anytime soon, Max,” said Dooley.

“No, poor guy,” I said. “All he wants is to enjoy his retirement and then we show up, asking a lot of difficult questions.”

“He seemed to appreciate it, though. He even seemed to take a liking to us.”

“That’s because we’re very likable, Dooley,” I said.

He smiled. “Of course we are.”

CHAPTER 18

As we walked back to the car, a man caught up with us and addressed Chase. It was one of the two FBI agents. “I see you have been conducting your own investigation, Detective Kingsley, even though we agreed that you wouldn’t.”

He didn’t look very pleased with the detective.

Chase shrugged. “I’m not conducting any investigation, Smith. All I’m doing is lending my wife a helping hand. She’s a reporter and she’s writing a story on the bombing.”

“Yeah, right,” said the agent, who didn’t seem to believe one word Chase was telling him. As he walked away, he said, “Stay out of this. This is your first and final warning!”

Chase ground his teeth a little as he watched the agent walk off. “The guy’s got some nerve, to tell me off in my own town.”

“They did tell you not to get involved,” said Odelia. She turned to her husband. “You won’t get into trouble over this, will you? I wouldn’t want you to lose your job.”

“I won’t lose my job,” Chase assured her. “Okay, so where to next?”

“I’ve been trying to locate Laertes Civilian, but he seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.”

“What was that court case about again?”

“According to an article that appeared in the trade press at the time, Ophelia and his brother used to run the company together, one as CEO and the other as the person in charge of the creative side of things.”

“Let me guess. Laertes was the creative person.”

“That’s right. His ideas were so innovative and exciting that pretty soon Ophelae had built up a very impressive client base, besting some of the big New York agencies in the process. Not bad for a small player from Hampton Cove.”

“And then Ophelia started interfering with his brother’s creative decisions?”

“Something like that. At one point, they landed their biggest client yet, and as usual, Laertes designed one of his campaigns for them. It was the launch of a new product, and so the moment was fraught with excitement but also a lot of risk and scrutiny. It was their first major client, and the launch of their first new product in years.”

“Sounds a lot like what’s going on with Fleur.”

“It was Fleur,” said Odelia. “And it was the relaunch of their flagship product, Demure, which is still their bestselling fragrance to this day. At the time, they were mostly known as a company that sold to old ladies. So Darnell Myerscough decided to shake things up, and tried to widen the customer base to appeal to women of all ages. He needed to make a big splash, so he took a big gamble and entrusted the ad campaign to Laertes instead of their usual ad agency. Laertes designed the campaign, but for some reason, his brother didn’t approve. And so instead of showing the new campaign to the client during a presentation, the ads were pulled and replaced with something else entirely—designed by Ophelia.”

“That must not have sat well with his brother.”

“It most certainly did not. He quit the day of the presentation and said he’d sue. And he did. Only before the case could go to court, the two brothers settled for an undisclosed sum. At least that’s the official story. I’m sure there’s more to it than meets the eye.”

“And you can’t find a trace of Laertes?”

“He seems to have dropped off the face of the earth,” she confirmed.

“So maybe that message was right. There was no settlement. Ophelia killed his brother and buried his body underneath the new building. When was it built, do you know?”

“Um… I’d have to check.”

“I’ll do it. After all, I’m your researcher, and here you’re doing all of the work.”

“What does a researcher do, Max?” asked Dooley.

“Well, he researches, I guess,” I said.

“Is Chase going to work for Odelia from now on?”

“I don’t think so. Only for this particular investigation.”

“It’s a nice change of pace, though, isn’t it? I actually like it a lot. When she’s working as a police consultant, Chase is the one in charge, and now the roles have been reversed.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said. But since I was still thinking about the story of the two brothers, I didn’t pay a lot of attention to my friend. Until he pointed to a tree in the nearby patch of woods. “Look there, Max. More Grovers.”

I looked over and saw that he was right. There were plenty more Grovers who had made their webs between the branches of those trees.

“The golfers won’t like it,” I said. “Generally, they don’t enjoy it when they have to go look for their ball and instead what they find is a lot of spiderwebs attaching themselves to their persons instead. It messes up their game.”

“No, I guess it’s not a lot of fun to have these spiderwebs cling to them. Most people don’t like it, Max.”

“I don’t like it either,” I confessed.

“Though it has been claimed that spiderwebs are very healthy for you. They contain a product that is very good for your skin.”

“Great. So maybe we should tell the people of Hampton Cove next time they run into a spiderweb, they shouldn’t scream in frustration but instead rub the stuff all over their faces.”

“No, but it’s true. It has a lot of healing properties.”

Our humans had gotten back into the car, and before they got a chance to leave us behind, we also hurried in. When Odelia and Chase are working on an investigation, they tend to lose track of time—and also their cats. And since I didn’t want to be stranded at our local golf course, we jumped in when we had the chance.

“We need to dig up that basement,” Chase repeated. “And if the feds aren’t going to do it, we need to do it, babe.”

“But won’t you get into an awful lot of trouble?” asked Odelia.

“Not if they don’t know. And also, if we find the body of Laertes Civilian buried underneath that building, the feds won’t be able to touch us. We’ll have cracked the case, not them.”

“They won’t like it.”

“Too bad. They should have worked a little harder.”

“Why do I get the feeling that this is some kind of competition?”.

“There’s no competition,” he insisted. “Just a lot of people working hard to crack this case. And in fact, a little friendly rivalry isn’t bad. It’s a great motivator.”

“So where to now?”

“Now we’re going to rent an excavator.”

“Oh, dear.”

CHAPTER 19

When Vesta arrived home that day, the last thing she expected to find was a man traipsing up and down her backyard carrying some kind of camera and shooting footage of her home. Immediately, she walked out of the kitchen door to chase the intruder away.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but I’m actually here on behalf of Odelia and Chase Kingsley, who have been so kind to offer me their home for my next movie.”

“What movie?” she asked. “What are you talking about?”

The man explained to her how he had asked and had been given permission to film his next movie in Odelia’s house, something that greatly surprised Vesta. And since she was of the critical and unbelieving kind of woman, she immediately put in a phone call to her granddaughter to check if this person was telling her the truth or lying through his teeth.

As it happens, Odelia said that the man wasn’t lying but that he had indeed arranged to use the house as the backdrop for his next movie and so he should be treated with the respect any guest of hers deserved.

“Okay, looks like you were telling the truth,” she grudgingly admitted. “But that still doesn’t explain why you’re now taking pictures of my house, buddy. Unless you want to use it in your movie also?”

“Actually, I was considering it,” he admitted. “It’s always good to have a backup, and even though this house isn’t exactly on par with the one next door—it misses that je-ne-sais-quoi, you see—it is still very similar and should do just fine as a backup just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” she asked, not understanding a single thing about the guy’s speech.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that,” he said. “Can I take a look inside?”

“Um, I guess so,” she said, wondering how Marge and Tex would feel about this. But since her daughter and her son-in-law weren’t home at that moment, they would probably never know that she had let a strange man into their home.

She played the perfect hostess and showed the movie director around the house, giving him the grand tour.

“It was rebuilt not so long ago,” she told him.

“Rebuilt? What happened?”

“Oh, an accident,” she said. “I had hired this construction company to do some minor renovations, only they messed up and the house ended up collapsing. It’s a crazy story. But as you can see, maybe it was for the best, because now everything is nice and new.”

“Yeah, it certainly is,” said the director. “Only because it is new, it misses that vibe I caught next door, you see.”

“What vibe?” she asked.

“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but your granddaughter’s house has a very particular vibe. It’s something I’m always going for in my movies but never quite seem to be able to nail. Now, with the assistance of Odelia and Chase, I think I will finally be able to get this vibe on camera. Almost as if the house is an extra character in the movie, you see.”

“Sure,” she said, even though she had no idea what the guy was blabbing about. It was just a house, for crying out loud, a pile of bricks and nothing more. But if he wanted to see all kinds of weirdness in it, more power to him. He was, after all, a director, and as everyone knows, all directors are nuts, though some more than others. This one featured pretty high on the scale of nuttiness. And since she didn’t know whether it was contagious, she ushered the guy out of the house and told him to do some checking next door.

“Check what?” he asked, after being removed from the premises so fast his head must have been spinning.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe try to capture more of that vibe that you like so much.”

And with these words, she pretty much kicked him out. And she hoped he would stay out. He struck her as a real creep, and the last thing they needed in their lives were more creeps. Every time Odelia and Chase worked on a case together, they seemed to collect the species en masse. Hopefully, this one wouldn’t stick around.

Before he left, though, he suddenly gave her an intense stare. Then he nodded, as if to himself. “Can I ask you something, Mrs. Muffin?”

“What?”

“Have you ever been in a movie before?”

“Me? Are you kidding? Of course not.”

“Would you like to be in my movie?”

It was a question she most certainly hadn’t expected, but one she could answer immediately. “I thought you’d never ask, buddy. So what do I have to do? Play the sweet old lady or something? I play a pretty mean sweet old lady.”

“No, I think I have something entirely different for you in mind.”

“Sure. Shoot me a script and I’ll let you know.”

“There is no script,” he said.

“What do you mean there is no script? You’re shooting a movie, aren’t you?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“So you have to have a script, how else do you know what you are going to film?”

“I improvise.”

Now it was her turn to stare at him. “What do you mean, you improvise?”

“I’ve done it like this my entire career, and it always seems to work out well. So I just go on, you know. Or maybe it’s laziness. I hate to write scripts. It’s such a drag.”

“But how do the actors know what to say?”

“They improvise. I’m big on improvisation.”

“But… you have a story, don’t you? Some story you want to tell?”

He shook his head. “I have a general idea, but not the full story. I simply go with the flow. And of course, when you have a great team, it’s not that hard. The same goes for the actors. If you have some top-of-the-line talent signed up, they can play pretty much anything. All you have to do is give them a slight nudge, and they’ll play your socks off. You’d be surprised.”

“But… are all of your movies made like this?”

“All of them,” he said proudly. “And this one is no exception. So can I count on you, Mrs. Muffin?”

“Um… I guess,” she said, and wondered how long it would be before she regretted saying yes. But then how often do you get the chance to play in an actual movie? “Can I ask one thing, though?”

“Of course.”

“Can you put my friend Scarlet in the movie also? I think she will do a great job. She’s a lot better than me.”

“Absolutely. Just tell her to meet me at the house, and I’ll see if I can use her. Though since the script hasn’t been written yet, I’m sure I’ll find a great part for her.”

How he was going to find a part if the script hadn’t been written was a mystery to her, but at least she would have a friend on the shoot. She knew acting in a movie involved a lot of waiting around until the other actors have done their bit. And so she could use a friend by her side.

“Deal,” she said, and they shook hands on it.

CHAPTER 20

That evening, there were a lot more people seated at the dinner table than usual. Apart from the usual suspects, Clark Timberlake was there, and also Cortney Shaw, who was his assistant director or AD. Cortney had brought a very large dog for some reason. The dog answered to the name Susie and sat underneath the table, awaiting further developments.

“Me and my ex-wife adopted him,” the director explained. “But when we divorced, we needed to agree on who would get Susie. And since we both adore the mutt, in the end, the lawyers figured we might as well try for co-parenting. So now one week I have her and the other week she has her.”

“But… Susie is a he, right?” asked Chase, confused.

“Yeah, she’s a biological male but she identifies as a female.”

“But how do you know she identifies as a female?” asked Chase.

“Oh, that’s easy. When we organized our first dog party, all the dogs needed to get dressed up, so we gave her a choice of outfits. And she picked a dress. So we figured it was a sign, you know. She was trying to tell us something. So we called her Susie.”

“Odd,” said Dooley as he listened to these comments.

We both turned to Susie. “So are you a female, Susie?” I asked. “Or a male?”

“A male, of course,” said Susie. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, your name,” said Dooley. “It’s a female name.”

“Is it? I didn’t know that,” said Susie. “But then I hardly ever get out of the house. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been allowed out since the incident.”

“What incident?” I asked.

“The incident where I chewed up someone’s couch.” He smiled. “It was a pretty nice couch, too. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever tasted such a nice couch before. One of those couches you can really dig your teeth into, you know.” He glanced over at our couch but didn’t seem to like what he saw.

Brutus and Harriet had also strolled in through the pet flap, and when they caught sight of Susie, did a double-take.

“What is that dog doing here?” asked Harriet, much surprised.

“I’m Susie,” said Susie. “And I belong to that guy over there. Though I also belong to a woman, but for some reason, they like to play a game of cups with me, shuffling me around from this place to another. It’s all very confusing.”

“Susie belongs to Clark and his wife,” I explained. “But they divorced, and now they’ve got joint custody.”

“Are you going to be in the movie, Susie?” asked Harriet. “Because I am, you know.”

“What movie?” asked Susie as he yawned and showed us a set of very nicely maintained teeth. He smelled a little from the mouth, though, and I could tell that he probably should do something about his stomach.

“Well, Clark is filming a movie in this here house, and I’m in it. In fact, I’m the star of the movie.”

“That would surprise me,” said Susie. “Mostly, he uses cats for the splatter effect, nothing more. No cat has ever lasted more than ten minutes in a Clark Timberlake movie. Sometimes he goes through an even dozen in the first twenty minutes. It’s one of his trademark quirks.”

Harriet gulped. “Splatter effect? What do you mean?”

“He knows how shocked people are when cats get murdered in a movie, so he has been using that to his advantage for twenty-five years. They don’t call him the cat killer for nothing. He even wrote a book about it. It’s called Kill The Cat! and it’s the seminal text on the topic. A genuine bestseller. Cats don’t stand a chance in a Clark Timberlake movie.” He grinned. “And often it’s me that does the killing. Though sometimes it’s Clark himself.”

“Clark… Clark plays a role in his own movies?”

“Yeah, sure. He’s always the crazed killer who gets rid of the cats. And the virgins, of course.” He glanced around. “So who’s the virgin this time? There’s always a virgin in a Clark Timberlake movie. Sometimes more than one but rarely more than a dozen.”

At this moment, Gran walked in. “Here I am,” she announced. Behind her, Scarlett had also entered the room, and she looked excited for some reason.

Susie frowned. “Are those the Virgins? Looks like Clark’s standards have dropped a little since his last movie. But then that bombed pretty hard, even for Clark’s standards.”

Harriet gave me a look of uncertainty. “Max?”

“Harriet?”

“On second thought, maybe I don’t want to take your place in the movie.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be in this movie either,” I told her.

“Relax, you guys,” said Susie. “No cats are actually harmed. When it comes to the actual killing, he uses puppets. And that’s where Reuben comes in. He’s a master at puppetry. You should see some of the cats he comes up with. They look so realistic you would think they’re real. But they’re not.”

“Gran?” asked Odelia. “What’s going on?”

“Clark has asked me to be in his movie,” said Gran. “And also Scarlett. So we’re ready for you, Clark.”

“That’s great, Vesta,” said the director. “We won’t start shooting until tomorrow morning, so best to hold on to that creative energy a little while longer. But don’t let go. I like the excitement. It’s very appealing and will pay off dividends.”

“So can we have our script?” asked Scarlett.

“No script,” said Gran. “Clark doesn’t use a script. He improvises.”

“Improvises? But I don’t know anything about improvisation.”

“Don’t worry,” said Clark. “Y’all soon learn. It’s not difficult. Once you get the hang of it, it’s as if you’ve never done anything else.” He turned to his assistant director. “When will the rest of the cast and crew arrive?”

“Some of them later tonight,” said Cortney. “And some early tomorrow morning.”

“Great,” he said as he rubbed his hands. “How about you guys?” he asked, addressing Odelia and Chase.

“What about us?” asked Chase.

“Would you like to be in my movie?”

“Um…” said Odelia, and shared a look with her husband. “The thing is, Clark, we’re kind of in the middle of an investigation right now. So…”

“Say no more,” said Clark. “The bombing?”

“What bombing?” asked Cortney.

“I told you about that, Cort,” said Clark.

“Oh, that bombing,” said Cortney, as if there had been more than one.

“I’m telling you, it was a thing of beauty. Too bad I wasn’t there when it happened, but I saw the aftermath, and I’ve seen the footage of the actual event and it was fantastic. I don’t know who they got for the demolition, but they sure knew what they were doing. That building went down so fast and in such an orchestrated way, it was amazing to watch.”

“At least someone in this town is happy about the bombing,” said Harriet, who gave the director strange glances. She sighed. “And to think I was so excited about my Oscar. And my red carpet moment with Meryl. Looks like there won’t be an Oscar, and no red carpet.”

“But there will be plenty of guts and gore,” said Susie. “And that has to count for something.”

CHAPTER 21

Vesta wasn’t sure what her granddaughter and her husband were up to, but she was determined to find out. And so after she had left the house, she stopped Scarlett. “We have to get in on this, honey.”

“In on what?” asked Scarlett.

“I’m not sure,” she confessed. “But did you notice how they were whispering and giving each other strange looks? They’re up to something and I want to know what it is.”

“Probably it’s the movie they’re going to make at the house,” said Scarlett.

“No, it’s not that. Odelia and Chase aren’t going to be in the movie. Only you and I are, and the cats, of course.”

“And that strange dog,” said Scarlett. “Susie.” She shivered. “I don’t know why, but he gives me the creeps. He kept staring at me all through dinner, as if I was a nice juicy snack he couldn’t wait to dig his teeth into.”

“Yeah, I also saw that. That is one weirdo mutt.”

“So what do you want to do?” asked Scarlett.

“I want to follow them.”

“Why, you think whatever they got planned is going down tonight?”

“I’m sure of it. The moment they leave the house, we’ll be on them like white on rice.”

“Should we call in backup?”

“Nah, I don’t think that will be necessary. Probably it’s connected to this case they’re working on.”

“Terrible, isn’t it? For someone to bring down an entire building like that. Imagine if the people in that building hadn’t been able to escape in time. They would have been crushed under tons and tons of steel and concrete.”

“Okay, so I was thinking that we should get in the car and park across the street. That way we’ll be able to follow them when they leave. But we have to make sure they don’t see us, or they’ll call everything off. You know what Chase is like when it comes to matters of the neighborhood watch.”

“He doesn’t like us?”

“Too right he doesn’t like us. In that sense, he’s just as bad as Alec, who hates the watch even more than he hates criminals.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.”

“Well, I would. That boy has got to learn to distinguish an enemy from an ally, something he’s never been very good at. And now, let’s go, before we miss them.”

And so they headed for the little red Peugeot Marge was so generous to let her use for watch business. It wasn’t the kind of vehicle she would have liked, but the big advantage was that it was inconspicuous.

The moment they were hunkered down in the car, she brought out a bag of supplies she always kept ready for stakeouts like these.

“Maybe later,” said her friend. “I just ate.”

“Yeah, me too, but I always leave room for dessert.”

They watched the house across the street closely, but nothing stirred. Could it be that she was mistaken? Mostly she was right on the money, and she had an unerring instinct for these things.

“Where are Odelia and Chase going to stay while this director guy uses the house?”

“They’re going to stay with us, of course,” said Vesta. “I just hope that this won’t take long. We only have the one bathroom and it’s already a big to-do in the morning who gets to use it first. Two more people are going to complicate things.”

“They could come and stay with me if they want,” said Scarlett.

“That’s so nice of you to offer, honey. I’ll tell them that the option is on the table.”

“Is it true that Chase is out of a job?”

“Well, he’s on vacation,” said Vesta. “Something to do with the FBI, though of course they haven’t told me anything. They never do.”

As they watched, there was movement, and the next moment Odelia and Chase came hurrying from behind the house and got into Odelia’s old pickup. The cats joined them.

“I wonder where they are going,” said Scarlett. “It must be important, if they’re taking the cats along with them.”

“They could have told me,” said Vesta, feeling offended that even Dooley wouldn’t have informed her. He was her cat, after all.

The pickup peeled away from the curb, and she went in hot pursuit, keeping her distance so the couple wouldn’t know that they were being followed. They seemed to be heading to the downtown area. And as they followed along, she suddenly thought that they were also being followed, as the same car had been driving behind them for the past ten minutes.

“I think we’re being followed,” she said therefore.

“No!” said Scarlett, turning back to assess. “By who?”

“I can’t see because of the headlights. But it’s the same car, I’m sure of it.”

“Could be a coincidence,” said Scarlett.

“Could be,” she agreed. “We’ll know soon enough.”

They had arrived at the street where that bombed building from this morning was located, and Chase and Odelia parked just around the corner. Vesta pulled up a couple of cars behind them, and they both hunkered down to see what was going on.

Chase and Odelia and the cats had gotten out of their pickup and walked over to a vehicle parked across the street. It was one of those big flatbed trucks and a digger had been placed and rigged on top of it. Chase shook hands with the driver, and the next moment the guy got busy riding the digger off the flatbed truck.

“What is going on?” she asked, more puzzled now than ever.

“Looks like they’re going to dig,” said Scarlett.

“I can see that, but why? And why here?”

“Maybe he’s taken on a sideline? Now that Chase doesn’t work for the police anymore, maybe he needs the extra money?”

“Could be,” she said, though as far as she knew, Chase hadn’t been let go but had simply taken a couple of days off. It was all very mysterious to be sure.

“That car that was following us?” she said.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s parked a couple of vehicles behind us.”

“Maybe we should walk past very casually like, to see who it is?”

“Good idea,” she said. And so the two ladies got out and casually walked past the line of vehicles until they had reached the car that Vesta thought had been following her from the moment they had left Odelia’s house. Much to her surprise, she saw that the director Clark Timberlake and his assistant director Cortney Shaw were seated inside the car, and they were busy filming Chase and Odelia and the digger activity!

Now how about that? Looked like they weren’t the only ones intrigued by what her granddaughter and her husband were up to.

The digger had been ridden off the flatbed and was now on its way to the end of the street. She and Scarlett decided to follow from a distance, and as they watched, the guy operating the digger, Chase and Odelia, and the cats, all headed to the site of the bombing.

“They’re going to clear the site,” she said. Tears sprung to her eyes. “They want to help the victims by clearing the site under the cover of darkness!” she said as she wiped away a tear. “What a noble thing they’re doing! And they don’t want people to know!”

“They’re absolute sweethearts, aren’t they? The both of them.”

“Oh, this is so wonderful,” she said, pride making her experience a warm sensation in her chest.

Behind them, the director and his assistant were filming everything, possibly to use in their movie. If it was true that he was some kind of action movie maker, he probably needed all the stock footage of blown-up buildings he could use. And if he shot it himself, he didn’t have to buy it.

They watched as the team started digging, and the director and his assistant kept on filming.

“Maybe we should help?” asked Scarlett.

“I’m not sure. Maybe they wouldn’t like it that we know what they did. They really don’t want anyone to know, hun.”

“No, I can see that. They want to do this all anonymously. So that by the time the actual clean-up crew arrives in the morning, a large part of the work has already been done.”

“So noble.”

“Your granddaughter is a saint, Vesta. A living saint.”

“I’m a very lucky lady,” she said, touching her chest. “That is one very special girl.”

And since she didn’t think there was anything more for them to see there, they decided to go home. But as they walked back to the car, they came face to face with two men dressed in trench coats, holding up badges of some kind.

“What’s going on here?” asked the tallest of the two.

She saw that they both belonged to the FBI, and could only conclude one thing: they were here to assist Odelia and Chase in their digging.

“I think it’s so nice of you guys to do this,” she said. “And if you need any assistance, we’re only too happy to give you a hand.”

“It’s noble, that’s what it is,” said Scarlett. “Real noble.”

“I think you all deserve a medal. Maybe even more than one.”

“Just tell us what is going on,” said the short one. “That’s your granddaughter over there, isn’t it?”

“That’s right. A living saint, she is. The most wonderful young woman on the planet.”

“We’ll be the judge of that,” said the tall one, whose name was Agent Jones, she saw. The short stout one was Agent Smith. Not very original names, but then a person doesn’t choose his own name, of course.

“You know, you should be a little more appreciative,” said Vesta. “After all, they’re doing your job for you.”

“And what job would that be?” asked Agent Jones.

“Clearing that site, of course, what else? So you better get over there and help them out. The world would be a much better place if everybody did exactly that.”

Agent Jones gave her a strange look. “Help them out with what, exactly?”

“Well, getting rid of all of that stuff, of course!”

“They’re… getting rid of stuff?” asked Agent Smith, trying to look past them at the couple working hard for their fellow man. The man’s face suddenly went hard, and his jaw worked. “I should have known!”

“I told you!” said Agent Jones.

And before they knew what was going on, both agents were running toward the bomb site. And as Scarlett and Vesta looked on in amazement, the agents proceeded to arrest everyone on the spot!

“Okay, so this isn’t what I expected would happen,” she said.

“No, me neither.”

But then a sort of righteous anger engulfed her, and she decided that a gross miscarriage of justice was being carried out. And since she hated miscarriages of justice as much as the next person, she hurried over there. When she arrived at the site, Agent Jones was trying to outfit Chase with a pair of handcuffs. And so she simply took them from the man and slapped them on his wrists instead. And as Scarlett provided the same service to Agent Smith, they stepped back, satisfied with their intervention.

“There,” she said. “That will teach you to harass my granddaughter!”

“What do you think you’re doing?!” demanded Agent Jones heatedly.

She took out her neighborhood watch badge. “Citizen’s arrest,” she announced proudly. “By the powers vested in me by the watch, I’m arresting you both for harassment. And now off to jail with you bozos. Move!”

CHAPTER 22

It was certainly a difficult situation our humans found themselves in. As an officer of the law—even on vacation—you’re supposed to uphold the law and not break it. And so, in a sense, it probably made sense that Chase and Odelia would be arrested by the FBI. But now the FBI agents had been arrested themselves by an overzealous neighborhood watch, and so it wasn’t immediately clear to me what would happen next.

And it wasn’t as if we had much to show for our initiative, as the digging had only just begun, and so far Chase hadn’t discovered much of note. What surprised me most of all was that the cop would know how to handle an excavator. But then I guess Chase is a man of many talents, and so this was another side of him that we had been privileged to discover. It certainly made our appreciation for the man soar to new and greater heights.

“I think he’s just swell, isn’t he, Max?” asked Dooley as we watched the man handle that Bobcat like a seasoned pro, a hard hat on top of his head and digging through the rubble like a man on fire.

“I think he’s wonderful,” I said.

“If Uncle Alex fires him,” said Brutus, “he can always find a job as a construction worker.”

“It’s all in the wrist action,” said Harriet. “Will you look at those wrists? Pure muscle and agility, you guys.”

Chase did indeed look as if he’d been doing this all his life. Even Odelia didn’t look out of place, as she assisted on the ground by directing her husband and clearing some of the debris that hindered his work and limited his visibility.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. By the time Agents Smith and Jones arrived on the scene to put an end to the party, nothing of note had been found, except an old fridge, but that could have come from one of the upper stories and ended up buried underneath the rubble like all the rest. And then of course Gran and Scarlett decided to interfere, much to the astonishment of the G-men, who didn’t appreciate the tables being turned on them.

“Okay, hold on,” said Agent Jones. “You don’t have any jurisdiction here. The watch? Is this a joke or what?”

“No joke,” Gran assured him. “I’m the chairwoman and founder of the neighborhood watch.” She tapped her badge. “And this proves that I have every right to arrest you.”

“That doesn’t prove anything!” Agent Smith cried. “You printed that at Staples!”

“I did not. This here is a bona fide official badge. I got it from my son the police chief.”

The agent fixed her with a pair of incredulous eyes. “What’s the charge?”

“I already told you: harassment.”

“And also disturbing the peace and wrongful arrest,” Scarlett added.

“We’re federal agents! You can’t arrest us!”

“Well, I just did, bozo,” said Gran. “So now do your perp walk.”

The guy was apoplectic with annoyance. “What?!”

“Walk to the car. I’m shipping you off to jail. Chop chop. No dilly-dallying.”

“We will do no such thing,” said Agent Jones. “On the contrary, we will place you under arrest!” He held up his own badge. “Vesta Muffin, or whatever your name is, you are under arrest for interfering in a federal investigation. And that goes for you, too, Charlotte.”

“Scarlett,” Scarlett corrected him. “Scarlett Canyon. I’m vice-president and director of public relations of the neighborhood watch committee and I take my job very seriously, sir.”

“Okay, you can’t put us under arrest,” said Gran, “because I just placed you under arrest. I was first, so my arrest beats your arrest. Scarlett, please escort these gentlemen to the car.”

“Only too happy to,” said Scarlett. “Let’s go, gentlemen. The car is over there.”

“No, you walk to our car,” said Agent Smith. “We’re parked right over there.”

“Oh, for crying out loud,” said Odelia, throwing up her hands. “Let’s just call my uncle, shall we? He’ll just have to sort out this mess.”

“You will do no such thing,” said Agent Jones. “You have been placed under arrest, Mrs. Kingsley. So you’re not calling anybody.” And he made a grab for Odelia’s phone.

“Don’t you threaten my granddaughter!” said Gran as she slapped the man’s hand away. “You make that call, honey. I’ll keep an eye on these two idiots, who don’t seem to know the first thing about the law.”

“That’s rich, coming from you!” said Agent Smith.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” asked Gran, planting her hands on her hips.

“I think this is an ageist comment,” said Scarlett. “We could sue, you know. We could sue for ageism.”

“I’m not an ageist and that comment was not an ageist comment,” said Agent Smith, piping down a little. “What I meant to say was that you have no jurisdiction here.”

She flashed her badge in his face again. “Oh? And what is this, then? A lollypop?”

“Uncle Alec?” said Odelia. “We’re in something of a pickle. Chase and I have been arrested by Agents Smith and Jones, who have been arrested by Gran and Scarlett, who have been arrested by Agents Smith and Jones. Yes, it’s a little complicated.” She hung up and declared, “He’ll be here soon, and then we can thresh this thing out once and for all.”

“There’s nothing to thresh out,” said Agent Jones. “Let’s go. I’m taking you all to jail.”

“Not before I take you to jail,” said Gran.

“This,” said Brutus with a grin, “is what is commonly termed a stand-off.”

“So what happens now?” asked Dooley.

“Now Uncle Alec will come and he will throw a hissy fit and then we’ll all go home.”

Behind us, Clark Timberlake and his AD were still filming, and they seemed to be having a ball. It’s not every day that you can film an altercation like this. Audiences would probably think he had made the whole thing up, but then reality often surpasses fiction.

“Hey! Stop filming!” said Agent Jones.

“He can film what he wants,” said Gran. “We’re in a public space, so he can do whatever he wants.”

“And I’m telling you to cease and desist!” Agent Smith shouted, adding his voice to the choir.

“Keep filming!” Gran yelled. “It’s your constitutional right!”

Susie came sauntering up. “I’m starting to like this town of yours. Fun things happen all the time here, don’t they? And your humans are certifiable, that’s for sure. Which is always a good thing, as Clark’s movies cater to that kind of audience.”

“They’re not always like this,” I said in our humans’ defense. “I guess they all got carried away a little, that’s all.”

“What were they hoping to find?” asked Susie.

“They believe that the body of Laertes Civilian is buried underneath all of this rubble,” I said. “And they’re very eager to prove it—and to prove it before these agents do, as Chase seems to have a score to settle with them, since they got him kicked off the investigation.”

Susie seemed interested in this. “Are you saying there’s a dead body buried underneath this pile of junk?”

“That’s right. Odelia got an anonymous tip, and she and Chase are following up on it.”

“Interesting,” said Susie as he turned his head this way and that. “Very interesting. Did you know that I used to work as a cadaver dog? Retired now, thank God. But before Clark and his wife adopted me, I worked in that capacity for a good number of years.”

“So… you can sniff out a cadaver?” asked Dooley. “But how do you do that?”

Susie shrugged. “I guess you could call it a knack? I was trained to sniff out cadavers that have to be recovered from disaster sites. Plane crashes, collapsed buildings, fires, earthquakes, that kind of thing. But also homicides, missing persons, people buried in the woods, etcetera etcetera. I can sniff out a stiff that’s been in the ground for decades.”

“So… maybe you could have a stab at this disaster site?” I suggested. “Maybe you could find this body for us?”

“I could give it a shot,” he admitted. And since our humans were still arguing about who had jurisdiction over whom and why, Susie set to work, with the four of us accompanying him in case he needed assistance.

It took him a little while, but after some time he seemed to have discovered a trail of some kind, for he kept sniffing at the same spot and circling back to it. “I’m not sure,” he said. “But I get the impression that this may be a place of interest. If I were you, I’d start digging right here.”

Unfortunately for us, the work of the excavator had been bogged down in the argument between our humans and the FBI agents. But nevertheless, we still decided to tell Odelia, who nodded. Her eyes were shining, and I knew she couldn’t wait to inform her husband that they were on to something. Now if only Chase could get back to work with that Bobcat.

CHAPTER 23

In the end, all of those present at the bomb site were taken to the police station, where Uncle Alec worked like a beaver to untangle the mess and massage the bruised egos of all those involved. The compromise that was reached was that Odelia and Chase wouldn’t involve themselves in the investigation, and neither would the watch. In return, all charges would be dropped, and we all walked away to go home and investigate another day.

On the drive home, though, it soon became clear that Odelia and Chase had no intention whatsoever of keeping to the deal they had just agreed on.

“We have to get back to that site and dig up that body,” said Odelia. “I’m convinced now more than ever that the body of Laertes is buried there. The dog sniffed it out.”

“Who needs a cadaver dog when you’ve got Susie?” said Chase, still marveling at the hidden talent of their guest’s dog. “You know what? Why don’t we head back there now?”

“Now?”

“Why not? The last thing those feds will think is that we would have the gall to return there so soon after the arrest.”

“You’re right,” said Odelia. “We’ve wasted enough time already. Better do it now.”

And so it was decided. Chase made a U-turn and steered the car in the direction of town once more. Only when we arrived at the place in question, we all found ourselves staring down a pit of approximately six feet deep, six feet long, and three feet wide.

“Someone beat us to it,” Chase growled.

“Yeah, looks like we weren’t the only ones who were looking for that body,” said Odelia, much disappointed by the turn of events. “Maybe whoever did this has been watching us?”

We all glanced around, and a shiver ran along my spine. Maybe whoever had murdered Laertes Civilian had been watching us all the while, and the moment our backs were turned decided that they needed to get rid of the body as soon as possible before we dug it up.

“They even used our digger,” said Chase, the injustice of it all hitting him hard.

He was right. The digger wasn’t where we had left it, and it was clear that whoever was responsible for this big hole had used Chase’s precious equipment to carry out the job.

“Looks like Susie was right on the money,” said Harriet. “Such a pity those FBI agents were here to stop us.”

And since trouble never comes alone, a car suddenly screeched to a halt not thirty yards from where we were all standing. Out popped the two agents under discussion.

“When you talk of the devil,” said Brutus.

“Oh, no, not again,” said Odelia.

The agents came walking up, big grins on their faces. I could see they had their handcuffs at the ready, dangling loosely from their fingers.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep yourselves to the deal,” said Agent Jones.

“Oh, will you stop the theatrics?” said Chase. He gestured to the hole. “While you were wasting precious time, the killer came and removed the body.”

The agents stared down into the pit, and even they had to admit there was some truth to what the detective was saying.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” said Agent Smith, scratching his scalp. I saw he was putting away his handcuffs. “They used your digger?”

“They did,” Chase confirmed. “And they knew exactly where to dig, which means that whoever dug this hole is also the one who put the body here.”

“How can you be so sure there was a body buried here?” asked Agent Jones.

“Just bring up a cadaver dog,” said Odelia. “They’ll tell you immediately that a dead body has been buried here ever since this building went up.”

“Or forensics,” said Chase. “A body that’s been in the ground this long must have left trace evidence in the surrounding soil. That should tell you enough.”

“And you’re still convinced that Laertes Civilian was buried here?” asked Agent Smith.

“Of course!” said Chase. He pointed a finger at the agents. “If I were you, I’d pick up Ophelia Civilian as soon as possible. If he’s not already halfway across the country by now, or worse, across the border and heading for a non-extradition country.”

Both agents rubbed their square cleft chins. For the first time, they seemed to consider the possibility that Chase and Odelia weren’t a couple of pesky amateurs but had actually been on to the truth all along.

“All right, fine,” said Agent Jones finally. “We’ll issue an arrest warrant for Ophelia Civilian.” And since with him, to speak was also to act, he walked away and pressed his phone to his ear, possibly to instruct the rest of his team to get busy putting the boss of Ophelae behind bars.

“How sure are you that Laertes Civilian is dead?” asked his colleague.

“Pretty sure,” said Chase. “We’ve been trying to locate him, but he seems to have vanished from the face of the earth since the lawsuit he filed against his brother.”

“It all sounds very incriminating,” the agent had to admit. “Okay, so I guess you were right about this, detective. But that doesn’t mean you can interfere with our investigation. So consider this your last warning. If I catch you snooping around this case again, I will arrest you.”

And with these words, he hurried off after his colleague.

“These guys are impossible,” Chase said, shaking his head. “We bring them the solution to this case on a silver platter, and still they can’t resist threatening us with arrest.”

“Let them talk,” said Odelia. “We’ll keep working on this story, babe. Whatever they say. My uncle has our backs.”

“I don’t know what good that will do,” said Chase. “These bozos seem to have a serious grudge against us.”

And since it was getting pretty late, they decided to call it a night and return home. And since we didn’t feel like going to cat choir after the eventful night that we had, we hopped in the car with them and looked forward to a nice long nap. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, Ophelia Civilian would be in jail and the case would have been solved.

CHAPTER 24

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I saw was a camera right in my face. I gulped a little at the sight of the horrendous thing, like a huge black eye staring at me!

“Dooley,” I said. “Do you see the same thing I see?”

Dooley, who had been peacefully asleep next to me, also opened his eyes. “I see a camera,” he announced. “And it’s filming you, Max!”

“I know!”

“Great footage, little buddy,” said the man behind the camera. I saw that it was none other than Clark Timberlake himself. “Keep going. Just do whatever feels natural.”

What felt natural was to jump off that bed and make sure I got the hell out of Dodge! Even though I had agreed to be filmed for this man’s movie, I hadn’t expected him to monitor my sleeping habits, which, as I read it, was a serious breach of my right to privacy.

And so I hurried down the stairs and out of sight. Or so I had assumed. When I arrived downstairs, another camera was there to capture my arrival. It followed me as I passed through the pet flap and out into the backyard. But the moment I thought I was safe, a third camera was there to monitor my every movement!

Yikes! These people were everywhere!

This wasn’t a movie. This was a reality show!

Dooley, who had followed me outside, said, “I thought you had switched places with Harriet, Max? Wasn’t she going to be in the movie instead of you?”

“That’s what I thought!” I said. “But clearly there has been some kind of breakdown in communication, since these guys think I’m still the star of their movie!”

Suddenly there was a commotion in a nearby bush, and when we looked closer, I saw that a sort of monster had appeared there. It came stalking up to me now. But on closer inspection, it wasn’t a monster but was in fact Susie.

“I’m going to attack you now, Max,” he announced. “I’m going to pounce and then I’m going to mess you up a little. Don’t worry. It’s all for show.”

And he proceeded to do exactly as he had indicated: first, he jumped on top of me, and then he started hitting me over the head with one of his paws, growling all the while.

“I’m a ghoul, you see,” he explained. “And so I’m supposed to devour you whole. Well, not whole, of course, because the people who like this type of movie want to see your mangled-up corpse, with its guts lying to one side and its brains to the other.”

“My brains!” I cried. “But I need my brains, Susie, and my guts!”

“Don’t worry!” he hastened to say. “It’s just for show. They’ll add all of that stuff later on. The guts and the brains. And the blood and the gore. There’s always plenty of that.”

“Oh, right,” I said. This whole movie business sure was a strange beast, I thought.

“You gotta fight back a little, Max,” said Susie. “It’s not a lot of fun when I pounce on you and you play dead like a possum.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” I asked, never having taken acting lessons in my life.

“Oh, just growl a little, like me, or snarl or whatever it is that cats do, and hit me a couple of times. But not too hard, you see. They’ll make it look a lot worse in post.”

And so I made an effort to growl a little, just like Susie was doing, and also to put up a defense. But since I’ve never been much of a fighter, I’m afraid I didn’t give a lot of value. But the director seemed to be satisfied, for when he emerged from the house and yelled, “Cut!” he looked pleased as punch. “Excellent work, you guys,” he said. “Excellent work. Especially you, Max. You’re a natural.”

“See?” said Susie. “What did I tell you. Easy as pie.”

“Okay, and now for the death scene!” said Clark. “Cameras rolling—and… action!”

“What now?” I asked.

“Now you have to die, Max,” said Susie simply.

“But I don’t want to die!” I said. “I’m too young to die!”

“Nonsense. You’re a fine age to die. Exactly the right age. So I’ll knock you around a little more, and then you expire.”

“Okay,” I said.

And it was exactly as Susie had predicted: he knocked me around a little more, and then said, “Now!”

And so I immediately paused all motion and just lay there, like a dead possum, as Susie would have said.

“Cut!” Clark yelled. He walked up to us and crouched down. “Look, Max, you have to put some more pep in your game, all right? You can’t just stop moving like that. Haven’t you ever seen the great death scenes on stage? Hamlet and the like? Or in the movies? I want to see you staggering around in the throes of death. Make it count, little buddy. Swing your paws, roll your eyes, clutch your chest. But whatever you do, make it count, all right?”

“Make it count?” I said. “What does that mean?”

“It means you have to create a spectacle that people will want to watch, Max,” said Susie. “This is the first big death scene in the movie, so it has to grab their attention.”

“Oh-kay,” I said, though I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I had never played a death scene before, so it was a little hard to know what was being expected of me. But since the cameras were rolling again, I decided to do my best. And so I rolled my eyes, thrashed around like a fish on dry land, clutched my chest as if I’d been stabbed with a spike, staggered away from Susie, made a nice pirouette and dropped dead on the spot.

“Much better!” said Susie. “I think that’s a good one, Max. Bravo! Bravo!”

“Why, thanks, Susie,” I said. “I felt it more, you know. I mean, I just went for it.”

He clapped his paws. “An actor is born,” he said proudly. “A talent in the making.”

“Okay, let’s do another take,” said Clark, and even though I felt that I’d given my all in that one performance, now I was supposed to do it again. And if that wasn’t enough, we had to do it again, and again, and again!

“Yeah, what can I say?” said Susie. “Clark may be a director of schlock horror and silly action flicks, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try to make them the best on the market.”

“He’s a perfectionist, isn’t he?” I grumbled.

“Don’t worry about it, Max,” said Susie. “Just give him what he needs, all right?”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, looking forward to the end of my brief acting career with relish. Acting may look easy on the screen, but I felt that it was a lot harder than I had thought.

And just when I was dying for about the fifteenth time, Harriet and Brutus entered the backyard through the little opening in the hedge.

“What’s going on here?” asked Harriet.

“I’m filming my death scene,” I said. “Over and over and over again.”

“Better you than me,” she said. “Though I have to tell you that you’re not doing it right, Max. You have to make it look real. Make the audience believe in what they see.”

“Yeah, it’s all about verisimilitude,” said Brutus.

“Oh, goodie, more cats,” said Clark. “Okay, Susie. How about we film you and these other kitties? You will rip them limb from limb, and maybe chew on their remains for good measure, all right? Okay, action!”

And so Susie, possibly the hardest-working dog in show business, proceeded to tear Brutus, Dooley, and Harriet to pieces as well. After all, you can never slaughter enough cats in the first ten minutes of your movie. At least according to chapter one of Kill The Cat!

CHAPTER 25

Odelia had slept fitfully after last night’s escapades and had kept on tossing and turning long after she had gone to bed. She wondered who could have dug up that body. Her money was on Ophelia Civilian, and she hoped that the feds would have picked him up. She couldn’t wait to learn about his arrest and what he had to say in connection to the allegations that he had killed his brother fifteen years ago and buried his body as construction of a new office building for the company they founded together had begun.

She was awakened by some kind of turmoil outside, and as she dragged herself out of bed to take a look, she was surprised to find that a camera crew was filming her four cats as they faced off against Susie, who must have turned rabid overnight.

“Hey!” she yelled as she opened the window. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Cut!” yelled Clark. He looked up and waved at her. “Don’t worry, Odelia. It’s not real. Only acting!”

“Oh,” she said, and could have kicked herself. Of course. She had totally forgotten about the movie that was being made in her own home. What with all the excitement last night, and the investigation that was now in full swing, it was easy to forget that there were other people out there and they all had their own plans and projects. Like Clark, who was busy making his movie.

“What’s wrong?” asked Chase, who had joined her at the window.

“They’re filming Max and the others fighting Susie,” she said. “Only I thought it was real. But they’re only acting.”

“Looks real enough,” he said as the filming recommenced. “But then I guess that’s the whole idea, right? If it doesn’t look real, nobody will watch the movie.”

“You’re so clever,” she quipped as she gave him a nudge.

“And here I thought you were supposed to be the clever one,” he said with a grin. He yawned. “Any news from your uncle?”

“I could ask you the same question. He’s more likely to keep you informed than me.”

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and shook his head. “No messages yet. If they did make an arrest last night, they either haven’t told your uncle, or made him promise to keep us out of the loop.”

“It’s not fair,” she said. “These people waltz in here and suddenly we’re completely sidelined.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s how it goes,” he said. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“Maybe we should look deeper into the relationship between the two brothers,” she suggested. “Talk to friends and family. Get a picture of what the men were like and the events that led up to them falling out.”

“Excellent,” he said. “Let me grab a shower and I’m all yours, babe.”

Grace had also woken up and stood in her bed, grabbing the rails. “Max?” she asked, and Odelia smiled. Lately, she had started talking a little. Not full sentences, but it was a start.

“Yes, Max is outside,” she said. For some reason, the little girl had taken a liking to the big orange kitty. He was definitely her favorite of all four cats.

She picked the little girl up and carried her on her arm. Grace seemed surprised. She pointed to Max. “Max hurt?”

“No, he’s fine. They’re just playing,” she said. “Susie is a nice dog, he wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially Max. He and Max get along great. In fact, they all get along very well.”

“Good,” said Grace as she nodded seriously.

Odelia smiled. She was such a precious little thing, and sometimes seemed mature for her age. “Okay, so what do you want for breakfast, princess?”

“Pancakes!” said the little girl.

“Okay, pancakes it is,” said Odelia, though she vowed to feed her daughter some good old-fashioned porridge first, and save those pancakes for dessert.

Moments later she was downstairs, preparing breakfast and putting on a pot of coffee. She opened the door and waited a moment to ascertain whether they were still filming or had stopped. When she saw that the cameras weren’t rolling, she asked, “Can I interest anyone in pancakes and coffee?” She saw a lot of happy faces. Her offer was gratefully accepted, and she got the impression that for the time being her family would be expanded by the director and his team for breakfast. At least until the craft services people arrived.

Twenty minutes later, she had also showered and was sitting at the breakfast table. “How did the footage from last night come out?” asked Chase.

“Oh, great,” said Clark. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to use it, but it sure looks amazing. Especially the moment you guys were all arguing over who got to arrest whom. Too funny!”

“Not sure we can put that in,” said Cortney. “It’s probably too funny for our movie. And also, we probably won’t get those guys to sign a release form.”

“No, I don’t think they would be willing to play a part in your movie,” said Chase.

“Would you?” asked Clark hopefully.

Chase laughed. “Me? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, buddy, but I’m a cop, not an actor.”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Clark. “I love working with amateurs. I find that you get some surprisingly good results when you do. Professionals have their bag of tricks while you guys are still fresh. Your responses are worth their weight in gold. Take last night, for instance. When those feds came upon you digging that hole—that was hilarious!”

“Yeah, well, they didn’t seem to think so,” said Chase.

“I wonder whose body was in that hole,” said Cortney as he took a sip from his piping hot coffee. The man must have an esophagus of steel, Odelia thought, to be able to drink this stuff hot from the mug. “You know, we could work that into the movie, Clark.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” said Clark. “Nothing like a good murder to liven things up.” He took a bite from his pancake. “Picture the scene. Our Monster has killed his Creator many moons ago and buried him on a hilltop by the light of the full moon. A building was erected on the site. Now, thirty years later, the building collapses because of some freak earthquake, and the grave of the Creator is ripped open, revealing a mangled skeleton.”

“Or maybe not a skeleton but a rotting corpse!” said Cortney, really getting sucked into this impromptu story meeting. “Still fresh and juicy—like a mummy!”

“Even better!” Clark agreed. “Or maybe he’s not even dead. Maybe he’s undead and starts looking for the Monster—his creation—to make things right. Because of the terrible things that the Monster has done, the Creator hasn’t been able to find eternal peace, and he will roam the earth until he has destroyed his terrible creation.”

“I love it,” said Cortney. “Now all we need is someone to play the Monster and someone to play the Creator.” He looked at Chase. “You could be the Monster,” he suggested. “And your uncle Alec could be the Creator.”

“I’m not sure my uncle would be interested,” said Odelia.

“Will you ask him?” asked Clark. “Can’t hurt to ask the question, right?”

“I guess I could ask,” said Odelia. “But I would have thought that you already had people in place for this movie?”

“I have plenty of people in place for this movie,” said Clark. “But I like to improvise.”

“The Monster needs a girlfriend,” said Cortney, and gave Odelia a penetrating look.

“Oh, no!” she said. “I’m not an actor!”

“Me neither, babe,” said Chase. “But I’ve just accepted. And wouldn’t it be nice if you played my girlfriend in the movie?”

“I guess that would be nice,” Odelia admitted.

“Like Romeo and Juliet,” said Clark, sweetening the deal. “The Monster and the beautiful girl can never be together. And the one brief moment they share, is rudely interrupted by the villagers with their pitchforks, threatening to destroy the Monster.”

“I like it,” said Chase as he drained his coffee cup. “But first we got a case to wrap up, buddy. So I hope you can schedule those scenes for later on?”

“Absolutely,” said Clark. “Mostly I shoot at night, so by the time you get back, I’ll have everything set up for your first scene as the Monster. And for you as the Wench, Odelia.”

Odelia laughed. “So I’m the Wench now, am I? Talk about a dream come true.”

“The Monster and the Wench,” said Chase. “I love it.”

But then it was time to head out so they could drop Grace off at the daycare and continue their quest to get to the bottom of the mystery of the missing Laertes Civilian.

As they got up to leave, Gran and Scarlett walked in.

“Oh, great,” said Clark. “Here are our Virgins.”

“The Virgins Vesta and Scarlett at your service, sir,” said Gran.

Odelia shared a look with her husband. Just when you think you’ve seen it all.

CHAPTER 26

Ihave to say that we were more than glad to be away from the house. To be attacked by a large and vicious dog, even if it’s not for real, isn’t a lot of fun. Though as I understood the storyline, we were dead now, so nothing could happen to us anymore. Or could it?

“We’re probably undead,” said Brutus. “Which means he’ll find a way to put us back into the story.”

“Yeah, Max,” said Harriet. “Remember Pet Sematary? The cat also came back in that story, after it was run over by a truck and brought back to life.”

“I didn’t like that movie,” said Dooley. “It was very scary.”

“It was a pretty scary movie,” I admitted. “Though I liked that the cat kept coming back. That was one tough kitty.”

“I’ll bet Clark has the same thing in mind for us,” said Harriet. “He’ll have us come back and fight his monster or something. Or maybe fight Susie.”

“But I don’t want to fight Susie,” said Dooley. “I like her—or him.”

“I like him, too,” said Brutus. “But not when he’s viciously attacking us like that.”

“He didn’t actually hurt you, did she, Max?” asked Odelia from the front seat.

“No, he didn’t,” I said. “It was all play-acting. They’ll add all the blood and the gore in post-production. With the computer.”

“Oh, not just the computer,” said Brutus. “Clark is old school. He loves to work with puppetry and animatronics, so they’ll make puppets of the four of us and put them in the movie, with our guts and our brains hanging out, just like Susie said.”

I shivered. “I do not want to see that movie when it’s finished.”

“Neither do I, though I thought I was going to be in an Oscar-winning movie,” said Harriet. “I was even writing my Oscar speech. And now I won’t even get to meet Meryl.”

“No, it’s not that kind of movie,” said Brutus.

“Where are we going, by the way?” I asked.

“We got the contact information of Laertes’s girlfriend at the time,” said Odelia. “We’re hoping she’ll be able to tell us more about the relationship between Laertes and his brother.”

“This should be it,” said Chase as he slowed down the car. We were in one of the newer neighborhoods, where several new apartment blocks had been built. They looked nice enough, and it was certainly a nice change of pace to be out investigating again, and not being treated as cannon fodder for a horror movie.

Chase parked across the street and we all got out. Odelia looked down at us. “Hmm, maybe four is too much,” she said. “How about you come with us, Max, and the three of you stay behind for the time being?”

“But I want to come!” said Harriet. “It’s just not fair that we’re never included.”

“Yes, it’s a little harsh to drag us all the way out here and then to tell us we can’t come,” said Brutus.

“I don’t mind,” said Dooley. “We can look for clues out here on the street.”

Odelia saw that they had a point. “Okay, maybe you can all join, though I’m not sure what I’m going to tell that woman.”

Renita Gawley turned out to be a lady of about Odelia’s mom’s age and seemed surprised to see us, but not unpleasantly so. “Oh, cats!” she said. “I love cats. Are they yours?”

“Yes, they are,” said Odelia, and I could see that this was a perfect icebreaker. “Do you have cats?”

“I did, but not anymore. The last one I had I bought together with Laertes, and after he passed, I decided I couldn’t replace him. Same way I haven’t replaced Laertes.”

We were invited into the apartment, which was new and modern and very nice, I thought.

“If we ever have to go and live in an apartment, I want it to look exactly like this,” said Harriet as she took in the warm colors, the modern furniture, and the cozy kitchen nook. “I mean, exactly like this. In fact I wouldn’t mind living in this exact apartment, you guys.”

“I like it also,” said Dooley. “But I like our house as well. So it’s going to be very difficult to choose, Harriet.”

“Oh, but I didn’t say that I want to move here right this minute,” said Harriet. “Only if we don’t have another choice. Like if Odelia and Chase decide to move.”

“But why would they move?” asked Brutus. “Don’t they like it where they live?”

“Yes, did they say anything about a move?” asked Dooley.

Harriet laughed as she held up her paws. “I said if they move. As far as I know they don’t have any plans in that direction right now.”

“Oh, good,” said Dooley. “I like living at home. With our backyard, and Marge and Tex and Gran right next door. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.”

The grown-ups had all taken a seat in the salon, and Chase got busy introducing himself and explaining that they weren’t there in their capacity as police officers but to write a story about the Civilian brothers.

“You know, I always liked Ophelia,” said Renita. “And I thought he liked me well enough, even though we never were close friends or anything like that. But the way he treated Laertes was horrible. And it put an end to whatever relationship we did have.”

“This is about the lawsuit?” asked Odelia.

“That’s right. Laertes didn’t agree with the way his brother was running the company, and they had this huge row. After that, Laertes felt he couldn’t keep working there, and so he wanted Ophelia to buy him out. Only Ophelia didn’t have that kind of money, so there was some legal wrangling for a while, until they settled the case out of court and that was that.”

“The thing is that we haven’t been able to track down Laertes,” said Chase. “He seems to have vanished from the face of the earth.”

“I know. The day after the settlement, I called him, and he never picked up or called me back. And I haven’t seen him since. It was the weirdest thing. He had sent me a text that there wasn’t going to be a court case, and that he loved me very much. And the next thing I know, he texts me saying he needs to take some time off, as the case has been so exhausting to him, emotionally and psychologically, which I could totally understand. So he said he was going to the chalet—the Civilian family owns this gorgeous little chalet in upstate New York. And he said he was going to spend a couple of days there to think about what to do next. And that’s the last time I heard of him.”

“Did you go to the police?”

“Well, I talked to Ophelia first, and he said he hadn’t heard from his brother either. But that he didn’t seem like himself during their final meeting with the lawyers. He seemed out of sorts, and he said he thought that Laertes regretted having left the company behind. It was his baby as much as Ophelia’s, and he got the impression his brother realized that there was no way back now that all the paperwork had been signed. Which is understandable.”

“It must have been a big shock to leave the company he built up,” said Odelia.

“It was. But he could have at least talked to me before…” She darted a sad look at a picture of herself and a handsome man who looked a lot like Ophelia Civilian.

“What do you think happened?” asked Chase.

“I think he probably climbed to the highest mountain he could find and threw himself off the top,” said Renita. “Laertes had been struggling for a while. And it wasn’t just the business either. He was having some psychological issues that I couldn’t help him with. I had told him to consult with a shrink, but he said he was fine and didn’t need no shrink. Just some time to himself to think things through. So when he didn’t return my calls, I reported him missing, and so did Ophelia. They searched for him in the vicinity of the chalet, but it’s a very spread-out area and they never found any trace of him. After a couple of weeks they told us that he had probably had an accident, and his body might be found at some point by hikers or mountain climbers. They didn’t give us much hope, though.”

“I’m sorry,” said Odelia.

Renita wiped away a tear. “It was a sad time for me. Especially since he had proposed. We were going to get married, you know.” She twisted a ring on her finger and stared down at it. And I could see why she hadn’t moved on. She was still in love with Laertes.

“Do you think it’s possible that foul play was involved?” asked Odelia.

Renita looked sharply. “Foul play? What do you mean?”

“The thing is that I received this message yesterday,” said Odelia, and showed the woman her phone.

Renita read the message and frowned. “I don’t understand. This person claims that Ophelia killed Laertes and buried him in the basement of their building?”

Odelia nodded. “The building was destroyed yesterday. There was a bombing. So we went and looked for a body that was buried underneath the building. And we found this.” She showed her phone again, where she had shot a video of the hole that had been dug.

“What is this? What are you showing me?”

“Someone dug this hole last night,” said Odelia. “The FBI are looking into it, but we think there’s the possibility that a body had been buried there all these years.”

The woman brought a distraught hand to her face. “A body? You mean… Laertes?”

Odelia nodded. “It certainly is a possibility we need to consider, Renita.”

She shook her head decidedly. “I knew it!” she said. “Laertes always said that his brother had surprised him, and not in a good way. He literally said that Ophelia was capable of things that he had never thought possible. That the case he had filed against him had opened his eyes to what kind of a man Ophelia was.”

“He actually said that?” asked Odelia.

“Oh, yeah. He said that Ophelia was vengeful, and couldn’t stand the idea that his own brother would have turned against him. That he was out to get back at him for what he perceived as a betrayal by his own flesh and blood.”

Chase and Odelia shared a look of triumph. This was evidence that proved that there had been bad blood between the two brothers. “Will you repeat these statements to the FBI, Renita?” asked Odelia.

“Oh, absolutely,” said Renita. “I’ll repeat them to whoever you want. It’s the truth.”

“Did you tell the police about this at the time?” asked Chase.

“I did, yeah, but they didn’t take any notice. They seemed to think I was some kind of crazy person. Crazy with grief. And I guess I didn’t always make a lot of sense when I talked to them. I was out of my mind with worry. I even went down to the chalet myself to look for him. I spent days out there, hiring a guide to take me along all the possible paths Laertes could have taken. And found nothing. The upshot was that I spent my savings and still had to return home without my fiancé.” She glanced at the image of the grave on Odelia’s phone again. “If Ophelia did this, I hope he burns in hell.” Tears trickled down her cheeks, and her hand was shaking. Which is when Odelia took a seat next to her and held her in her arms.

“We can’t bring Laertes back to you, Renita,” she said. “But I promise that we will try to give him the respect he deserves by giving him a proper burial.”

She nodded mournfully. “Bring his body home to me. So I can lay him to rest.”

CHAPTER 27

Lily Heckley was glad to get the call from Patsy that Ophelia had managed to find them some temporary office space and that they could all get back to work. Even though the computers had been destroyed in the bombing, as well as their desks and all of the office supplies, a limited number of computers had been sourced, and the IT people had been working around the clock to get everything set up. Luckily, all of the files had been saved on a cloud server so no work had been lost, even though it would take some time to get everything back on track.

Sitting at home didn’t suit Lily, and so she was glad that she could get back to work. Even though there were some people who might regret that they hadn’t been given more time off, she definitely wasn’t among them.

The office space Ophelia had found for his staff was of the shared variety, and so for the time being, they would have to mix and mingle with office workers from other companies and also people who ran their own companies and rented space in the building. It didn’t matter to Lily, who was happy to see her colleagues again. As an added bonus, the coffee machine in the new place was a lot better than the old one, and since she was a self-confessed coffee nut, that was a real boon for her.

She soon discovered that her boss was also her neighbor, as they had adjoining desks, but even though it was a little uncomfortable at first, she told herself not to let Patsy cramp her style. Soon she was busy finishing the Fleur campaign. After all, they had a deadline to meet, and with this bombing, she was already behind schedule. It still didn’t sit entirely well with her that she couldn’t touch up the pictures the way she always did, but Patsy’s word was law at Ophelae, and so she resisted the urge to remove some of the more noticeable beauty spots and just left them all in, as requested.

She was busy adding text to one of the images when she felt a presence behind her. It was Patsy, who had a habit of sneaking up on people, in the rubber-soled shoes she liked to wear, and only when she was breathing down your neck did you realize she was there.

“Very good,” said Patsy. “I like the font. It adds to the bleakness of the campaign.”

“I believe so,” she said. She half-turned. “Have you seen Ophelia? He hasn’t come in yet.”

“Ophelia is at the police station,” said Patsy, quite to Lily’s surprise. “They needed him to clear up a few more things in connection with the bombing, I believe.”

“I hope they find who did this soon,” said Lily.

“Ophelia said it’s out of the hands of the local police now, and that the FBI has officially taken over the case. He also said that they believe it has something to do with his brother.”

“His brother? You mean Laertes?”

“That’s right. You never knew him, did you? He was the one who hired me at Ophelae. I was one of the company’s first hires,” said Patsy with a smile at the recollection. “In fact, I think I was number four. Ophelia and Laertes, Rufus Hinxman, and then me. Even then Rufus was our financial genius and I worked directly under Laertes, who was creative director, while Ophelia dealt mainly with customer acquisition and general management.”

“Just like he does now,” said Lily. “So what exactly happened to Laertes? Did he quit?”

“I believe so,” said Patsy vaguely. “It’s all rumor and hearsay, of course, but at the time there was a lot of talk about the two brothers falling out over the creative direction the company should take. In the end, Laertes quit and sued his brother. The whole thing never made it to court, though, as the brothers made some kind of arrangement. Everything was very hush-hush. But the upshot was that I lost my boss and my creative compass.”

“That must have been awful,” said Lily with feeling.

“It was. Laertes had a good eye and he was amazingly innovative when it came to designing our campaigns. Ophelae went through a difficult time after he left, but in the end we managed to muddle through.”

“And then you became the head of creative after Laertes left.”

“That’s right. Ophelia asked me to step up, and even though I didn’t think I had it in me, it was either that, or he would have to hire someone else, and since I didn’t feel comfortable answering to a new person, I decided that I should give it a shot.”

“And it’s worked out well for Ophelae,” said Lily. Even though she and Patsy hadn’t always seen eye to eye, there was no question that the woman was insanely gifted when it came to running their department.

“Thanks,” said Patsy. “It wasn’t easy stepping into the shoes of a creative mastermind like Laertes, but I believe we managed.”

Patsy returned to her own desk, and for a moment no one spoke. All around them, people were hard at work, and she soon felt as if the whole bombing thing had never happened, which was scary, of course, since it was a major thing. A psychological counselor had been hired and anyone who wanted to book a session with her could add their name to the list. Many people had taken Ophelia up on the offer and were grateful for the opportunity to talk to someone about how the bombing had affected them.

She had just gotten up to go for a bathroom break when she happened to see Patsy take a framed picture out of her drawer and study it intently. It showed herself and a man who looked a lot like Ophelia. Perhaps this was Laertes, the creative genius. In the picture, Patsy and Laertes were standing close together, their heads almost touching, both smiling at the camera, looking happy and carefree. Judging from the background, the picture had been taken at an office New Year’s party. They were both wearing funny hats.

Strange, she thought. Patsy hadn’t mentioned that she and Laertes had been so close. Almost as if they had been an item. Which was possible, of course, and frankly none of Lily’s business. She wondered if Patsy knew what happened to the man.

Later, during her lunch break, she decided to google Laertes and discovered that he had been engaged to be married to a woman named Renita Gawley. Renita had launched a desperate plea to find her fiancé after he had gone missing from his chalet during a vacation. Police had carried out a search but hadn’t been able to locate the man, who had been officially declared a missing person. As far as she could tell, he still hadn’t been found.

She thought how strange it was that Laertes would have gone missing so soon after he had gone to court against his brother. And she wondered why Patsy hadn’t mentioned that the man had gone missing fifteen years ago.

CHAPTER 28

Uncle Alec had decided to play the peacemaker once again and had invited us all to the police station to sit in on the interrogation of Ophelia Civilian. Even though the federal agents had made the arrest, it was Chase and Odelia who had provided them with the tip of the empty grave and the possible involvement of Ophelia in his brother’s murder.

Which is why we all found ourselves gazing anxiously through the one-way mirror in interview room number one, with the chief also present.

“Odd to have to watch someone else do the honors,” Chase grumbled. It still didn’t sit well with him that he had been taken off the investigation.

“Be glad that you’re here at all,” said his boss. “If it had been up to those two guys in there, you would be in jail right now for interfering with a federal investigation.”

“If they would put as much energy into catching the bad guys as in trying to cordon off this investigation,” said Chase, “they would have solved this case by now. Instead, they keep bumbling around and we have to do all the work.”

“The situation is less than ideal,” Uncle Alec agreed, and that was quite the understatement.

“Oh, before I forget,” said Odelia. “Clark Timberlake wants to hire you for his movie.”

“Me?” said the chief, looking well pleased. “But I’m not an actor.”

“None of us are,” said Chase, “and still we have all been roped into playing a part. I’m the Monster, Odelia is the fair Wench, and you…” He grinned.

Uncle Alec gave him a look of suspicion. “Yes?”

“You are the mad scientist, buddy.”

“A role that suits you very well, I have to say,” said Odelia.

“The mad scientist!” said the chief. “Now if you would have said I had to play myself, fine. But mad scientist! I don’t even know the first thing about being a scientist.”

“You don’t have to,” Chase assured him. “In fact, the less you know about the character you play, the better.”

“Clark has a very particular way of making his movies,” said Odelia.

“Well, I’ll say. If he’s going to hire a cop to play a scientist, he has to be some kind of eccentric.”

“My cats have already played their roles,” said Odelia.

“Don’t tell me. They’re all scientists too?”

“Not exactly.”

“So what are they?” asked the chief, who seemed genuinely interested in Clark Timberlake’s creative process.

“Victims of a crazed monster, I guess would be the best way to describe it,” said Odelia.

“That bad, huh?” He grimaced. “Maybe I should say no?”

“Oh, just go for it, boss,” said Chase. “It’s a lot of fun. And maybe the only chance we will ever have of being in a movie.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t become a big hit,” said the chief.

“I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you,” said Chase with a grin. “Clark is a great guy, but a Martin Scorsese he is not.”

On the other side of the two-way mirror, the interview was finally underway.

“So have you found the people who bombed my building yet?” asked Ophelia.

“Not yet,” said Agent Jones. “But we’re working on it.”

“So what am I doing here then?” asked the CEO.

Agent Smith now placed a picture in front of the man of the grave that we had discovered the night before. “Do you recognize this, Mr. Civilian?”

“It looks like a hole in the ground?” said the CEO.

“It was found on the site of your building,” said Agent Smith as he adjusted his tie.

“Huh. Well, that’s not surprising,” said the CEO. “There are probably a lot of holes there right now, considering the building collapsed and all.”

“We had a cadaver dog sniff at this particular hole and he went nuts,” said Agent Smith.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that a body had been lying in this grave until very recently. Our crime scene people are looking at the grave now, taking samples of the soil, and I’m confident they’ll come to the same conclusion.”

“Which is?”

“That a person was buried in this grave—and has been buried there for the past fifteen years. Ever since the building was erected.”

“Is that a fact?” said the CEO, studying the picture again. “So… someone buried a body underneath my building all those years ago? But why?”

“We were hoping you could tell us that,” said Agent Smith with a fine smile.

“Me! Why would I bury bodies underneath my building? That doesn’t make sense.”

“It was around the same time that your brother, Laertes Civilian, disappeared, was it not?” asked Agent Jones.

“I guess,” said Ophelia. Then it hit him. “You’re not suggesting… You can’t possibly mean…” He stared at the picture again. “My brother disappeared, yes, but I always assumed he had left the country. I mean, the cops thought that he had jumped off a cliff, and so did that fiancée of his, this Renita woman, but I never believed those stories for one second. So are you saying that my brother was buried underneath Ophelae all this time?”

“You tell us,” said Agent Jones calmly.

Both agents were impeccably dressed, as they had been the entire time we had known them. Suits, ties, and their hair perfectly coiffed. Even their shoes were really nice—Italian leather, I would have thought. Chase usually goes around dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a baggy sweater, but not these guys. They looked more like a pair of investment bankers than federal agents. But then I guess it was their dress code and they liked to stick to it.

“Wait, you can’t think I had something to do with this,” said Ophelia, looking gobsmacked.

“You and your brother were embroiled in a legal conflict,” said Agent Smith as he tapped the picture. “And shortly afterward, he goes missing, and fifteen years later we find this grave underneath your building. You can see how this looks, Mr. Civilian.”

“But… but I didn’t kill my brother!” said the CEO. “I mean, it’s true that we had a falling-out at some point and he quit the company and threatened to sue. In the end, we ended up dividing everything right down the middle and he walked away from Ophelae.”

“And he disappeared soon afterwards.”

“He did disappear, but that doesn’t mean he died. Laertes was unhappy, both with his work and his life, and so I figured he’d simply taken off and would return some day, married to a nice Mexican girl or whatever.”

“It’s been fifteen years, Mr. Civilian. Didn’t you ever wonder where he was?”

“Of course I did. He’s my brother. But you don’t understand. Laertes always had a stubborn streak. He was what you might call an eccentric. Extremely gifted and creative—a genius—but also deeply unstable. Never for one moment did I consider that he had died.”

“His fiancée, Renita Gawley, was the one who notified the police at the time that he had disappeared. Why didn’t you?”

“Because, like I said, I thought he had decided to remove himself from the equation for the time being. Working in a high-pressure environment like Ophelae hadn’t done him any favors. He wasn’t really made to work at that high level for such a long time. It surprised me at the time that he had managed to keep going for as long as he had. I’d already suggested to him more than once that we should hire a new creative who could relieve him of some of his workload, but he always insisted that he didn’t need an assistant. He was a total control freak and wanted to be in charge of every single campaign that we ran, and liaise with every client. In the end, I think he simply burned himself out.”

“What was the conflict about?” asked Agent Smith.

“He felt that I was taking Ophelae in a different direction from the one we had agreed upon when we first started. Bigger clients than he was prepared to deal with. In its original incarnation, Ophelae wanted to provide an alternative for the major ad agencies that cater to legacy brands and Fortune 500 companies. We wanted to offer an affordable service to smaller businesses. But we were so successful that more and more of the big boys hired us.”

“And your brother didn’t like that.”

“He said it went against everything Ophelae stood for. But I had the future of the company to think about. And at least these big companies paid their bills on time, something that couldn’t always be said about the smaller firms, who often struggled financially. But Laertes didn’t see it that way. Mainly I think he felt constrained by the creative demands put upon him by the bigger brands, who had their own ideas of what their campaigns should look like. He just wanted to do his own thing. Experiment and go out on a limb with the things he did. And he couldn’t do that with the bigger clients.”

“And so he quit, and took you to court.”

“He didn’t have to take me to court. But when he quit just like that, he put us all in a spot. As he had always refused to hire an assistant, except for some grunts to handle the minutiae like Patsy Fletcher, who is our creative director now, from one day to the next Ophelae faced the abyss, with several campaigns hanging in the balance. It was a rotten thing to do. In the end, I managed to convince Patsy to step up and she did a tremendous job under difficult circumstances. Without her, Ophelae probably wouldn’t exist today.”

“Can you give us a timeline of the moments that led up to the disappearance of your brother, Mr. Civilian?”

He threw up his hands. “It’s been fifteen years!”

“Still. We would like you to think back and tell us where you were when Laertes disappeared.”

The man buried his face in his hands, and I could tell that this was going to take a long time. It isn’t easy to tell a pair of investigators what a person has done last week, but fifteen years ago? I probably would have a hard time myself thinking back to a distant past.

“Let me talk to my personal assistant,” the CEO suggested. “It’s still the same person who was with us fifteen years ago, so maybe she has some idea of what my days looked like back then. With any luck, she will have saved my diary.”

“Agreed,” said Agent Smith. “You can make one phone call, but make it count, Mr. Civilian.”

The man looked flabbergasted. “You mean…”

Agent Smith grew a few inches and seemed to swell up before he launched into a well-oiled speech that he clearly had given on many occasions. “Ophelia Civilian, you are under arrest on suspicion of the murder of your brother Laertes Civilian. You don’t have to say anything...”

CHAPTER 29

“What I would like to know,” said Odelia, “is what he did with the body of his brother after he dug it up last night.”

“There have to be traces of him on some of our CCTV cameras,” said Chase. “Isn’t there a camera near that location, chief?”

“I’d have to check,” said Uncle Alec, who looked extremely pleased with the way the interview had gone. “I’m glad we’ve got our killer, though. Now all we have to do is find the person who brought down that building, but that’s only a matter of time. Can I see that email again that you received, honey?” Odelia showed her uncle the email, and he nodded. “Clearly this comes from a person who knew that the body of Laertes was buried there. So a person connected with the case. Have you sent this to Agents Smith and Jones yet?”

“I have,” said Odelia.

“They’ll get to work on it,” her uncle assured her. “They’ve got the kind of resources we can only dream of.”

“Let’s hope that with all of their resources they manage to locate that body,” said Chase, who wasn’t as uniformly positive about these G-men as his boss was.

“Look, you all got off to a rocky start,” said Uncle Alec. “But you have to admit that the moment they were put in possession of the facts, these agents did the right thing.”

Chase shrugged. “Was this before or after they tried to arrest us last night? My memory is a little hazy on the exact sequence of events.”

“Oh, don’t be like that, buddy,” said the chief as he clapped his detective on the back. “We’re all on the same team here. And it’s the result that matters, not how we got there.”

“I guess,” said the detective grudgingly.

Agents Smith and Jones entered the room. They both looked pleased as punch. “He’s being processed,” said Agent Smith as he thrust out an empty cup and pressed it into a surprised Chase’s hands. “I take it black,” he said.

Chase’s jaw worked for a moment, and I had the impression he was about to explode, but then he thought better of it and stomped off with the cup for the agent’s refill.

“So where did he hide the body?” asked Odelia.

“We’ll get to that in due course,” Agent Smith assured her.

“We’re doing everything by the book, Mrs. Kingsley,” said Agent Jones, implying that this wasn’t how she and Chase worked. “First things first. He’s been read his rights, been placed under arrest, now we’ll start drilling down and get into the details of exactly what happened fifteen years ago. That’s how you build a case that stands up in court.”

“My best guess is that he snapped,” said Agent Smith as he snapped his fingers in Odelia’s face. “It happens more often than you think. Big man on campus. Little brother challenges him, and the guy just cracks and cuts loose.”

“Probably put a bullet in his brother’s head would be my best guess,” said his colleague. “Why else make the body disappear? Because the slug is still in there and can be tied to a firearm that’s registered to Mr. Big in there.”

“Classic case,” Agent Smith assured us. “Seen it a million times. Where is that coffee?” he demanded annoyedly.

But Chase seemed to have forgotten about the coffee, for he was nowhere to be found. It looked as if the agent would have to get himself a cup of his favorite brew.

“Okay, so where do we go from here?” asked Chief Alec.

“Like I said, we’ll get to drilling down into the weeds now,” said Agent Jones. “Crack that guy like an egg.”

“I love this part of the job,” said Agent Smith as he cracked his knuckles.

“It is the best part,” Agent Jones agreed. “When you can see the panic in their eyes. Smell the stench of fear. The moment they realize there’s no escape and they finally break down and confess. That’s what makes it all worthwhile, isn’t it?”

“That’s what we do it for,” said his colleague.

And since it didn’t look as if we had a role to play except as admiring listeners to the two agents’ stories of success, we decided to follow Chase’s example and make ourselves scarce. Uncle Alec might have taken a liking to the agents, but they certainly hadn’t made a favorable impression on any of us.

The moment we stepped out of the police station, Odelia looked around for a sign of her hubby. He was leaning against the wall and checking something on his phone.

“What about that coffee?” asked Odelia with a smile.

“Oh, to blazes with his coffee,” said Chase. “Who does he think I am? His personal flunky? Look here, babe.” He showed her something on his phone, and she whistled through her teeth. “Pretty big coincidence, wouldn’t you say?”

“What is it?” I asked. Being vertically challenged as we all are, it’s sometimes difficult to see what our humans are looking at.

Odelia lowered the phone so we could see what she saw. It was the website of our local TV station WLBC-9. “‘Dead body found in dumpster,’” I read. “You don’t think…”

“It’s a possibility we should look into,” said Odelia.

A dead body had been found in a dumpster at a strip mall. It hadn’t been there last night, as the restaurant whose dumpster it was had used it to discard their trash before calling it a night. When the owner opened the restaurant that morning and noticed a distinct smell coming from the dumpster and looked, he saw the body of a dead man in there.

“Odd that we weren’t informed,” said Odelia.

“Babe, things are going a little haywire since those two clowns arrived in town,” said Chase. “We better get over there now.”

“Are you sure we’re allowed to?” she asked.

“Allowed to!” he scoffed. “We don’t need permission!”

“But… you’re still on vacation, aren’t you?”

“Vacation is a flexible concept for a detective,” he explained. “One minute you’re lying on a beach, and the next you’re investigating a stabbing. You know that as well as I do.”

“Okay, fine, but we still have to tell your uncle that we’re back on the job, right?”

“Maybe you’re right,” he said and took out his phone again.

“I don’t understand how I could have missed this,” said Odelia. “I mean, I’m supposed to be on top of these types of stories, and now Lauren Klepfisch at WLBC-9 beat me to it?”

“The owner probably called the TV station before he called us,” said Chase. “And maybe he never even called it in in the first place, which is why we weren’t officially notified but had to find out this way.” His call connected. “Yes, Dolores. How come the chief isn’t picking up? Oh, is that a fact? Well, tell him when he’s back from his break that a dead body was found at the strip mall, and we’re going over to take a look.” After he hung up, he said, “Dolores wasn’t informed, so the restaurant owner hasn’t called it in yet.”

“Odd,” said Odelia.

“Maybe it’s not a dead body,” said Dooley. “But one of Clark Timberlake’s props? A horror director like him probably uses a lot of dummies for his movie.”

“I doubt it, Dooley,” I said. He had given me an idea, though, so I gave Odelia a tap on the leg with my paw.

She looked down. “Max?”

“Maybe you should tell Clark Timberlake. You know he would love something like this. He can shoot some more footage for his movie.”

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” she said. “It’s a crime scene, Max, and we shouldn’t allow civilians like Clark Timberlake to traipse all over it and film things.”

Chase grinned. “Would that annoy the heck out of Agents Smith and Jones, you think?”

“Oh, absolutely,” said Odelia.

“Would they go ballistic if they knew that a movie director had been allowed to film the crime scene?”

Odelia was shaking her head. “Chase, no.”

“Why not? Those guys are so tightly wound they’re about to snap. And frankly, I feel we’re doing them a big favor. So, by all means, give Clark a call and tell him to meet us in front of the Happy Camper.”

CHAPTER 30

The WLBC-9 crew was still there when we arrived, but of the restaurant owner, there was no trace.

“He said he didn’t want to get involved,” the reporter explained to Odelia. “Said he didn’t need the aggravation.”

We had met Lauren Klepfisch on a previous case, along with her cameraman Zak Kowalski. She was a vivacious blonde and had made quite a career at the news station.

“But he did call you guys?” said Odelia.

“Yeah, he figured we’d call it in. But since we thought he had already called 911, we didn’t call you guys.”

“Looks like we wouldn’t have known if Chase hadn’t seen it on your website,” said Odelia as she glanced at the dumpster in question. “Is it very bad?” she asked.

Lauren smiled. “It is. Better put on a face mask or tie a piece of cloth around your mouth. Looks like it’s a ripe one, honey.”

“What does she mean with a ripe one, Max?” asked Dooley.

“She means it’s been left out to… mature,” I said.

“Could be the body that was dug up last night,” said Brutus. “That must have been in the ground for fifteen years. But wouldn’t it have turned into a skeleton in that time?”

“Not necessarily,” I said. “It all depends on the conditions in which it was in the ground. If it was cut off from the air and any insect life, it might have been preserved pretty well and mummified instead of having been turned into a skeleton.”

“All this talk about skeletons and mummies reminds me that we haven’t seen Clark yet,” said Harriet, glancing around.

Just then, Clark’s rental came swinging into the parking lot and made a beeline for our small gathering. As he got out of the car, accompanied by his assistant director, he looked inordinately pleased. “First a bombing and now this,” he said. “Hampton Cove is the gift that keeps on giving! I should probably make it my headquarters instead of dreary LA.”

Chase had already taken a peek at the body and reeled, which was saying something since he’s pretty accustomed to this type of thing.

“I think we’d better not get too close,” I said.

“Don’t worry,” said Brutus. “I have absolutely no intention of going anywhere near that thing.”

“It’s not a thing, honey,” said Harriet. “It’s a human being. Or at least it used to be. Once upon a time.”

“Poor Laertes Civilian,” said Dooley. “All he wanted was to live a quiet life in his mountain cabin, and instead he was murdered by his brother and put in an early grave.”

“Ironic that he was buried underneath the building of the company he helped build,” said Harriet.

“I’m not sure he would have appreciated the irony,” I said.

Odelia had also joined her husband, and the two of them stood staring down at the mortal remains of the man who had been dumped there last night.

“We’ll have to talk to the guy who found the body,” said Chase.

“Whether he likes it or not,” said Odelia.

Chase had already called it in, and as Abe Cornwall’s car came swinging into the parking lot, and several more police cars, I saw that the car belonging to those two FBI agents was also part of the circus.

“Oh, great, here they come,” said Chase.

“I hope they don’t take us off this case as well,” said Odelia.

“If it really is Laertes Civilian,” said Chase, “there’s every chance they will.”

The moment backup arrived, and Chase had given his instructions in regards to cordoning off the scene, he and Odelia set foot for the Happy Camper, whose owner had discovered the body. The only person who was allowed to go anywhere near the scene was Clark Timberlake, since Chase knew this would annoy the FBI agents to a great degree.

We were at a quandary how to proceed, but then decided to follow Chase and Odelia as they spoke to the restaurateur. Adrian Diaze seemed annoyed that the television people would have outed him as the source of the information. “I didn’t want to get involved,” he said, making his position perfectly clear. “I know the drill. I’ll have to get down to the station and make a statement, and then I will have to sign it, and then a couple of days later I’ll have to make another statement, and then I’ll have to sign that, and before long you’ll suspect me of having killed that poor person, and I’ll be locked up in prison for who knows how long, and I’ll have to pay an expensive lawyer my entire savings to get me out of jail.”

“None of that is going to happen, sir,” said Odelia. “All we need to know is what happened this morning, and you’re off the hook, I promise.”

“Unless you really did kill that poor person,” Chase pointed out.

Mr. Diaz threw up his arms. “See! I knew it!”

“Just kidding,” said Chase. “Just tell us what happened, Mr. Diaz.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” said the guy. “When I arrived this morning, I parked my car next to the dumpster, the way I always do, and thought it smelled real bad—worse than usual. And so I had a look-see. Imagine my surprise when I saw a dead body in there.”

“And it wasn’t there when you left last night?” asked Odelia.

“Nope.”

“What time did you leave?”

“Last time I checked the dumpster was around one-thirty when I dumped the kitchen trash in there. I left soon after, and then this morning I arrived around six o’clock, so someone must have dumped that body between one-thirty and six this morning.”

“You had a very short night,” said Chase.

“We had a wedding last night, and it took a while before they cleared off.” He didn’t look like a happy camper, but then nobody likes to find dead bodies in their dumpsters.

“Do you have CCTV?” asked Chase.

“I do, actually.” He sighed deeply. “Don’t tell me. Now you’ll want to take a look?”

“Of course,” said Chase.

“I knew it,” he said as he escorted us deeper into the restaurant. “This is why I didn’t call you guys. Next thing I’ll be down at the station spending hours of my precious time giving statements and signing stuff. I have a business to run here, you know. I can’t spend all of my time down at the station. I might as well close down my restaurant for good.”

“Just show us your CCTV,” said Chase, whose patience wasn’t at an all-time high.

The CCTV recorder was located in a little room behind the restaurant, and as Mr. Diaz scrolled through the footage, he sighed again. “It’s going to take hours to watch all of this,” he lamented.

“You let us worry about that,” said Chase. “Just give us the disk.”

“There is no disk. It’s all digital. I can give you a download link.”

“That’s fine. Just give us the download link.”

“You will need my username and my password. And they will also send a one-time code or something.” He sighed and wiped his brow. “How are we going to work this?”

“Or I could stay here and quickly go through the footage?” Odelia suggested. “And then when I see something of interest, I’ll flag it, and you can send me that segment?”

“That could work,” the guy admitted. He gave Odelia a look of admiration. “They should hire more people like you at the station. You’re not a time-waster.”

“Thanks,” said Odelia, well pleased with this rare compliment.

CHAPTER 31

It didn’t take her long to find the segment that she was looking for. “Here!” she said as she pointed to the little screen.

I narrowed my eyes and saw that a car parked next to the dumpster, and moments later a person was dragging a large package out of the trunk and pushing it into the dumpster. It took some time as the body was probably heavy, and then the person took off again.

“It’s too far away to make anything out, though,” she said, her voice betraying her disappointment. “And probably no way to zoom in.” She raised her voice. “Mr. Diaz!”

The man came hurrying up, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. He looked pained. “Yes?” he asked, afraid of what she was going to say. “What is it now?”

“Is there a way to zoom in on this thing?”

“No, this is as good as it gets,” he said. He studied the screen. “Plus, it was dark out, so nothing much to see. Except… that looks like a small car to me. Probably like a Mazda or a Honda or something. Impossible to make out the person, though.”

“Yeah, it’s impossible to see the face or make anything out,” she said, a little disappointed. “Still, it’s better than nothing. Could you send me a link to this piece?”

“Will do,” said the restaurateur. He seemed hopeful that this was it. That his ordeal would finally be over. “Will there be anything else?”

“No, that’s it for now,” said Odelia as she got up.

“For now,” he echoed somberly.

As we walked out, she quipped, “That’s the saddest restaurant owner I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah, he’s not a happy camper,” said Dooley.

“More like a sad camper,” said Brutus.

“I think it wasn’t very nice of him not to offer us some food,” said Harriet. “A restaurant full of food and still nothing for us? I don’t think that’s fair.”

“We weren’t there to have lunch, Harriet,” Odelia pointed out. “Just to get the facts.”

“I guess so,” she said. “But still. It seems like such a waste to come all the way out here and not have a little morsel to eat.”

Now it was Odelia’s turn to produce a deep sigh.

We returned to the dumpster, where a frenzy of activity was unfolding. Lookie-loos had turned up and surrounded the scene, trying to catch a glimpse of the body. They must have seen the news, just like Chase had, and were curious to find out what was going on. The police officers Chase had dispatched kept them all at a distance, though. And in the meantime, Abe and his team worked on the person found in the dumpster.

Odelia joined her husband. “And, is it Laertes Civilian?” she asked.

“Too soon to tell,” he said. “They’ll have to go by dental records or DNA to make a positive ID.”

“Is it the body that was in the ground all this time, you think?”

“Has to be.”

The two FBI agents also joined us and seemed eager to throw their weight around. “If this is connected to the bombing,” said Agent Smith, “this is our case, you know that, right?”

“Absolutely,” said Chase. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Agent Smith gave him a suspicious look, unable to determine whether Chase was pulling his leg or not.

“I’ll bet you twenty bucks it’s Laertes Civilian,” said his colleague.

“Make it fifty and you’ve got yourself a bet, Norbert,” said Agent Smith.

They shook hands on it, and I wondered if they often did this. If Chase and Odelia made bets like that, it wouldn’t be of much use, as the money invariably ended up in the same household kitty. But then the agents presumably weren’t married. Though they seemed to be very familiar with one another, which led me to think they usually partnered up.

Abe now joined us, stripping off his plastic gloves. He looked radiant. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen anything like it,” he revealed. “Fella’s been in the ground quite a long time, I’d say.”

“Fifteen years,” said Chase reluctantly, for if this was true, he’d soon have to give up the case. Again.

“Not as much decomposition as you would expect,” said the medical examiner, who was clearly in his element. And why wouldn’t he be? Even though he was a man who loved his job, it’s always nice to get an unusual case to break the monotony.

“He looks pretty decomposed to me,” said Chase.

“Mummified,” said Abe. “Telling us that he’s been in the ground for a long time but not exposed to oxygen and outside elements that would make a body turn into a skeleton. In this case, he’s been pretty well-preserved.”

“No ID yet?” asked Agent Smith.

“Nothing yet, I’m afraid. He didn’t have anything on him that would provide a clue as to his identity.”

“But it is a man?” asked Agent Jones.

“Yes, that I can confirm. It’s definitely a man.”

“Any idea how he died?” asked Chase.

“Ligature mark around the neck suggests strangulation. Garroted with a thin wire, as the head was virtually severed from the neck. But before I commit myself I would like to take a closer look. It might take a while, though, as it’s a different process from a fresh one.”

Agents Smith and Jones made a face. “Please, doctor,” said Agent Jones. “Show some respect.”

“Oh, but I’m full of respect,” Abe assured him. “I’ve got nothing but respect for the unfortunate suckers that end up on my slab.” And with these words, he greeted us and took off again.

“It’s Laertes Civilian,” said Agent Jones. “Has to be.” He positioned himself in front of Chase. “I’m taking over this investigation, Kingsley.”

Chase stared the man down. “Go ahead, Jones.”

“You know the drill. If I see you or your wife hanging around this case again, I will⁠—”

“I thought we had moved past all that?” said Odelia. “Can’t we work together on this?”

“No, we can’t,” said the agent. “There’s a procedure, and I’m a stickler for procedure.”

“Same here,” said his colleague. “Without procedure, we’re like the beasts of the field: we’re absolutely lost.”

The four of us shared a look of unease.

“Do you think he was referring to us, Max?” asked Dooley.

“I’m afraid so, buddy,” I said.

“But we don’t even live in the field,” said Brutus.

“No, we live at home,” said Harriet.

“I think for these two, it doesn’t matter where you live,” I said. “We’re all at the same level. Meaning: we don’t count.”

“That’s too bad,” said Harriet. “They should know that we can make a real contribution, and that we already have.”

“I’ll bet that Chase was crossing his fingers behind his back when he promised not to get involved in the case anymore,” said Dooley.

And since our role in the investigation was at an end—again—we decided to take off. Hopefully, we’d be able to ascertain soon enough who the poor man was and how he had met his maker. I had a feeling that Dooley was right, and that Chase had no intention whatsoever of dropping the case, and neither had Odelia. They were stubborn in that sense.

CHAPTER 32

Odelia and Chase had dropped us off at the house, since there wasn’t a lot that we could do at that moment, and when we arrived there, it was clear that Clark Timberlake’s team had been busy. Our little home was almost unrecognizable. They had removed most of the furniture and had turned the place into a house that seemed to stem from a different era. It had a definite fifties or sixties feel, but not in a good way. It looked and felt… eerie, in a sense. As if something very bad was about to happen or had already happened.

“It looks scary, Max,” said Dooley as we surveyed the place.

“It looks horrible,” said Harriet. “What did they do to our lovely home?”

“They changed the furniture,” said Brutus. “But apart from that, it looks exactly the same to me.” He yawned. “Wanna grab a bite to eat, you guys?”

“But snow pea, how can you say that?”

“I’m hungry,” he said.

“Not about the food, but about the house. It looks completely different.”

“No, it doesn’t. The walls are the same, the rooms are still the same. The only thing that has changed is that they took out the furniture and put in this old junk.”

“This old junk probably cost a fortune,” said Dooley.

“I doubt it,” I said. “They’re working on extremely low budgets to make these movies, so it probably all comes from yard sales and thrift stores.”

“I wonder if they will still need us,” said Harriet. “I hope not.”

“No, I think we’re quite dead now,” I said.

Susie must have heard the sound of our voices for she now came tripping up. “Oh, hey, you guys,” she said. “So great to see you again. Where have you all been?”

“Oh, there was this dead body in a dumpster,” said Dooley. “And also the murderer of the dead brother who was being arrested. But now we’ve been taken off the investigation again so probably we won’t be involved anymore.”

“Sounds exciting,” said Susie.

“I thought you would have joined your human?” I asked.

“I wanted to, but I was out back when he must have left. I didn’t even notice.”

“Out back in the field?” I asked.

“There are so many spiders there. And they’re all named Grover for some reason. They even made me an honorary Grover and told me I should join their gathering, whatever that is.”

“Oh, we’re also honorary Grovers!” said Dooley.

“What is this honorary Grover thing?” asked Brutus.

And so we explained to him that the Grover family was holding their annual gathering out in the field, and that Dooley and I had been invited.

“Better you than me,” said Brutus. “The last thing I need after such a stressful day is to spend time with a bunch of spiders.” He shivered. “I hate spiders.”

“I’m not their biggest fan either,” said Susie. “Though they can always be relied upon to create the effect you need. Did you know that Clark once made a spider movie? It was the greatest movie he ever made, as far as I’m concerned. There were lots of spiders, and in the end, they ate all the people in the town the movie was set in. It was amazing.”

“But did they use real spiders for that movie?” asked Dooley.

“Oh, no, it was all made with the computer,” said Susie. “I just had to pretend to be snapping at spiders all the time, which wasn’t hard, as I’m a trained professional by now.”

“I thought you were a cadaver dog?” said Brutus.

“A retired cadaver dog. Being a movie star is my hobby. Something I’ve picked up in retirement.” He shrugged. “Important to keep busy, you guys. But then I don’t have to tell you. You sure know how to keep busy, with finding dead bodies and arresting people for murder. Such a fascinating life you lead.”

“And you,” I said. “Making movies about monsters and giant spiders. It’s all very interesting.”

“Not that much,” said Susie. “It’s a lot of green screen. Movie magic, you know. I was in Paris in one movie, where the Eiffel Tower had come alive and was chasing people through the streets of Paris and squashing them like bugs. But we never actually went to Paris. It was all filmed on a studio lot in front of a green screen. Very disappointing, I have to say.”

“I’ll bet Clark could use those Grovers to add some verisimilitude to this particular movie,” said Brutus. “All he has to do is put his camera in the field, and before long he’ll have thousands of spiders. They’re very small, though. Not giant spiders that will attack.”

“I’m sure Clark will come up with something to make them look like giant spiders,” said Susie. “He’s very creative and always finds practical solutions to problems like this.”

We left him to it, so as not to get in the way of the movie people. Very soon, the place would be used to film another scene, and so we decided to move next door, where we wouldn’t be trampled on or run the risk of being torn limb from limb—even if only playacting, you never know what might happen if Susie unleashed his inner monster.

Next door, we curled up on the sofa and soon were fast asleep. And I’m proud to say I didn’t even dream of dead bodies or giant spiders. I woke up when a teensy tiny spider tapped me on the nose. I stared at it, cross-eyed, and saw that it was one of the Grovers. Maybe even Grover CLXXXIX, though it was hard to say.

“Max?” he said. “Can you come with me for a moment?”

Even though I had by no means finished my nap, I still said, “Sure, why not?”

Dooley opened his eyes and yawned. “Can I come?”

“Absolutely,” I said.

And so we followed the spider out of the house and watched it crawl in the direction of the fence. “Why don’t you hop on my back?” I suggested. “Otherwise, this might take a long time.”

“Thanks, Max,” he said gratefully. “It did take me quite a long time to find you.”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Grover CCCXIX,” he said.

“Right.”

It wasn’t long before we had arrived in the field behind the house, and I saw that Susie hadn’t lied: there were spiderwebs everywhere. In fact, the field was almost unrecognizable, just like the house. Only here it was all too real, and not the work of a team of set designers but of actual spiders.

“Boy, you guys have been busy,” I said.

“Yeah, the big feast is tonight,” said Grover CCCXIX, “so we need to make sure that everything is ready.”

“So what was it you wanted me to see?” I asked.

“Just a little bit further,” he said. “We can’t have this kind of stuff going on at our party. It’s supposed to be a celebration, and this thing—well, let’s just say it doesn’t belong here.”

“What thing?” I asked.

Finally, he told us to stop in front of what looked like a collection of blankets. But when we looked a little closer, I saw that it was actually a human body, wrapped up in a blanket.

“This thing,” he said. “You have to make it go away, Max. Get rid of it, you know. Because it smells funny. And we don’t want funny smells at our big celebration feast.”

Both Dooley and I gulped. “Max?” he said. “What are the odds?”

“Slim to none,” I said.

Looked as if this was the day of the dead bodies popping up all over the place!

CHAPTER 33

“It’s getting a little tedious, don’t you think, Max?” asked Brutus. We had notified the proper authorities—and in our view, those proper authorities were still Odelia and Chase and not the FBI agents who seemed to have taken over the police station—and they had descended on the scene.

“Yes, I would say so,” I agreed.

“If this keeps up, there won’t be a Grover family gathering,” said Harriet. She glanced in the direction of the nearest spiderweb, and I saw that many of the Grovers had approached the crime scene to take a good look at what was going on. I got the impression that none of them were happy with the intrusion.

“Bad luck for the Grovers,” said Dooley. “On their big day, someone picks the field to dump a body. Of all the rotten tricks they could have played on them, this tops the list.”

“I think the person whose body was dumped had the most bad luck, though,” I said.

“I wonder if this is Laertes Civilian,” said Brutus, “or the other one.”

“It’s hard to tell,” said Harriet. “They both look so… similar.”

She was right. After a certain time, all humans look exactly the same. Though to an expert like Abe Cornwall, they probably didn’t. He might be able to spot that telling aspect that set both corpses apart.

It wasn’t long before we were joined by the FBI agents. They seemed a little put out that once again they had to reclaim an investigation from Chase and Odelia, even though this time it was hard to figure out if they had to reclaim this particular case or the one out by the strip mall.

“This is messed up,” said Agent Jones.

“Tell me about it,” said Agent Smith.

“So who is it?” asked Agent Jones.

“Too soon to tell, I’m afraid,” said Abe, as he got up with a creaking sound from his knees. “Though this one hasn’t been dead quite as long as the one we found earlier today.”

“It’s a man?” asked Chase.

“Oh, yes, it’s a man all right.”

“But not Laertes Civilian?” asked Agent Jones.

“What part of ‘it’s too soon to tell’ was unclear to you?” asked Abe tersely.

“Okay, we’ll let you do your job. But as soon as you know more, I expect your report.” He pointed to Chase and Odelia. “And don’t send it to them, is that understood?”

Abe quirked an eyebrow at this. “Is this some kind of turf war I’ve landed myself in? If so, count me out, gentlemen. I work for the governor, so if you have any beef with me, take it up with the governor’s office.” He held up his hand. “I’ll bid you adieu, though considering how the day is going, we might all see each other again very soon.”

“God, I certainly hope not,” said Agent Smith, and I think he said what we were all thinking.

Abe had told his team that the body could be removed, and so it was wrapped up in a body bag and carted off, so Abe could take a closer look under better circumstances at the medical examiner’s office in Haupage.

As the others all started to leave, Odelia sidled up to us. “Did you see what they did to the house?” she asked.

“We did,” said Harriet. “It looks horrible, doesn’t it? And creepy.”

“I think that’s the whole idea,” she said. “They’re filming a horror movie, so everything has to look appropriately creepy.”

“I still wonder why he picked our home of all places,” I said. “It was such a nice and cozy place, and still he seems to think it’s the perfect setting for his horror movie.”

“Maybe that’s just it,” said Odelia. “He needed a home that looked like a regular home, and now he’s going to turn it into something truly horrible. The contrast is what attracted him to us. Which means we have a really sweet little home.”

“We do,” said Dooley. “When is it going to be our home again, Odelia? I mean, how long is this whole movie business going to take?”

“I’m not sure,” she confessed. “But he said it could take up to a month. Though I’m hoping it won’t be that long. Even though Mom and Dad don’t mind us moving in for the time being, adding three people to the mix won’t make things any easier.”

I watched how the Grovers all dispersed and returned to their respective webs. I thought I saw one wave at me, and so I waved back. This honorary Grover had done good, he probably thought, in getting this body removed from their turf so expediently.

We walked back to the house, and Harriet said that she hoped she and Brutus would also be invited to the big feast. “And I could even sweeten the deal by offering to sing a song,” she said. “I’m sure they would love for me to liven up their celebration by adding some culture to the festivities.”

“I’m sure they would,” I said, though I wasn’t entirely sure.

And we were just about to head inside for a bite to eat when Odelia’s phone chimed. She frowned as she stared at the display. “Unknown number,” she said, but picked up anyway. A reporter has to be brave and challenge danger at every turn, even if that danger is a robocall from a scammer. “Yes,” she said. “This is Odelia Kingsley speaking.” She listened for a moment, then relaxed. “Oh, of course I remember you, Lily.” She glanced down at us, and a frown creased her brow, which I often tell her is not a good habit to have, as it can only lead to premature wrinkling. “Yes, I’ll be there soon,” she promised and hung up. For a moment, she just stood there, thinking but not speaking. Then she said, “That was Lily.”

“Lily who?” asked Harriet.

“Lily Heckley. We met outside the site of the bombing yesterday. She works as a graphic designer for Ophelae. She says she saw on the news that a body has been found, and that it could possibly be Laertes Civilian. She says she’s been following the news closely, also my story about the grave that we found last night, and now she is wondering if her boss might be involved somehow. Turns out she has a picture of Laertes and herself hidden in her drawer. They looked very cozy in the picture. Extremely cozy, in fact.”

CHAPTER 34

Odelia and Chase decided that, before the feds could yank them off another investigation, they better get a move on and talk to this Patsy Fletcher person about her relationship with Laertes Civilian. We found the woman at work, filling up on coffee in the canteen of the new shared office space where Ophelae had found temporary sojourn.

“Yes?” said Patsy when we entered. Then she recognized Odelia. “Oh, hi. We met yesterday, didn’t we? Odelia Kingsley, right? How is the investigation going?”

“We found a body,” said Chase, a little brusquely, I felt. “And then we found another body.” When the woman gave him a look of confusion, he added, “My apologies. It’s been a long day.”

“Two bodies found? And you think that one of them is Laertes?”

“It’s too soon to say,” said Odelia. “But it definitely looks that way. The thing is, Patsy—can I call you Patsy? The thing is that it has come to our attention that you and Laertes knew each other well. Were you close friends with him?”

“I wouldn’t say we were close friends,” said the woman. “But it’s true that we knew each other. I was one of the company’s first hires, and that sort of thing creates a bond. And also, he was my boss, and for a long time it was just the two of us who worked on the campaigns. Many late nights spent at the office trying to decide what would work best and what designs we should use. And even though he would always handle the presentations in those days, I was on hand to help with some of the technical aspects.”

“But you and Laertes weren’t an item?” asked Odelia.

The woman laughed. “Oh, no, absolutely not. Who told you that? No, we spent a lot of time together, but we weren’t close in that sense. Not at all. Though I was very sad when he decided to walk away from the company that he had built, of course.”

“Did he talk to you about that?”

“Oh yes, he did. It was agonizing to him. He felt torn, but in the end, he knew he couldn’t hack it anymore. Ophelia and he had radically different views that were essentially irreconcilable, and so he made the brave decision to take a step back. And I saluted him for it. He even suggested that he would start a new company that would adhere to the guidelines that he had set out when Ophelae launched, and that he would hire me. I said, of course I would consider it. But then I never heard back from him.”

“You had no idea that he might have passed away?” asked Chase.

“No idea whatsoever. If I had known he died, I would have...” She bit her lip.

“You would have?” said Odelia.

“Well, I would have talked to the police, since I wouldn’t have thought his death was an accident. Not with the way things happened. The rift with Ophelia and the relationship between the two brothers that had become so steeped in conflict and enmity.”

“You think that Ophelia is involved in the death of his brother?”

Patsy nodded. “I know it’s a terrible thing to say, but you should have heard the arguments. It was heartbreaking. They used to duke it out in Ophelia’s office, and the rest of us were forced to bear witness. It was ugly. Very ugly. Not a happy time for Ophelae.”

“But why didn’t you quit?” asked Odelia. “If you agreed with Laertes’s philosophy so much?”

“I needed the money,” she said with a shrug. “If Laertes had hired me, of course I would have considered it, but only if the conditions had been favorable. You can say a lot of things about Ophelia, but he pays us very well. And the work has always been rewarding and interesting. And as the caliber of customers grew, so did the challenges. In the end, I always thought that if only Laertes had stuck it out, he and his brother could have started to see eye to eye again. But now we’ll never know.”

“How did Ophelia react when his brother disappeared?” asked Chase.

“He never mentioned it to me. We don’t have that kind of relationship,” she said primly.

“Even though you were one of his first hires?”

“I know this may surprise you, detective, but here at Ophelae we like to keep our professional and our personal lives separate. And I, for one, think that’s a good thing. The moment you start fraternizing with your boss and your colleagues, it can only lead to trouble down the road, especially if you are in a senior position, like I am. Today I’ll be spilling my deepest darkest secrets to a colleague over drinks at a work do and tomorrow I will have to criticize their work, or maybe even let them go.” She shook her head adamantly. “I could never do it. I could never fire a friend or tell them their work sucks.”

“I couldn’t do it either, Max,” said Dooley. “I couldn’t tell you that your work sucks, and so it’s better to be friends and not tell you anything.”

I stared at my friend. “So what are you saying, Dooley, that I’m a lousy detective?”

“No, not at all!” he hastened to say. “I think you’re an ace detective. The best of the best. But if we weren’t friends, I couldn’t tell you that, could I? I’d be too nervous to lose your faith in me. As a colleague, I mean. Or even as an apprentice.”

“Dooley is right,” said Harriet. “Doctor Watson never criticized Sherlock Holmes to his face, even though Sherlock criticized him all the time. If Dooley wasn’t your friend, he might be able to tell you that you suck, but not now.”

“I think what Dooley means to say,” said Brutus, “is exactly the opposite. If he wasn’t Max’s friend, he couldn’t tell him how much he admires him.”

“Oh? I understood it differently.”

“And I didn’t understand it at all,” I confessed.

“Look,” said Dooley. “If I wasn’t your friend, I couldn’t tell you that I think you’re a wonderful detective, but now I can.”

“Gotcha,” I said, even though I didn’t. Not really. What I did understand was that Patsy Fletcher had liked her boss a lot. So much that she had never been able to come out and tell him how she had felt about him. Unrequited love, in other words. Even though she hadn’t said it in so many words, I could read between the lines, and so could Odelia.

“You liked Laertes a lot, didn’t you, Patsy?” she asked now.

The woman nodded, and I could see a tear trickling down her cheek. “I did, yes. He was a good man and the perfect boss.”

“Did you know that he was engaged to be married?”

This seemed to surprise the woman a great deal. “He was? No, I didn’t know that. Who was she?”

“A woman named Renita Gawley.”

Patsy frowned. “The name doesn’t ring a bell. But like I said, we didn’t share confidences with each other, as he was of the same opinion as I was as to the proper way to conduct yourself in a professional environment.”

When Odelia and Chase made to leave, she looked up and directed a hopeful look at our human. “Will you keep me informed? About the body that was found, I mean?”

“We will,” Odelia promised. “Though as it now looks, I’m afraid that Laertes probably died fifteen years ago, Patsy. The body that was found was dug up from the basement of the Ophelae headquarters. The only reason we found it was because of the bombing, which seems to be connected to the death of Laertes.”

“How do you mean?”

“We received an anonymous tip that we might find Laertes buried underneath the building.”

“Oh, God,” she said as she brought a hand to her face. “And to think we spent all that time working, and all the while Laertes…” She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. “It doesn’t bear thinking. Who would do such a thing?”

“That’s what we would like to know,” said Chase.

She shook her head. “I have no idea. Only…”

“Only?” Odelia prompted.

“Well, the only person I can think of is Ophelia. One day I was working late in the office, and Laertes walked out of his brother’s office. He slammed the door, but before he did, Ophelia yelled at the top of his lungs, ‘I hate you! And I will get you for this! I will get you if it’s the last thing I do!’”

CHAPTER 35

“Ihave to admit that I have a hard time trying to understand what’s going on with you guys,” said Abe as he searched his desk for the file he’d been looking for. “First those two FBI agents tell me not to share my findings with you, then your uncle calls me and asks me about my report, and casually mentions that if I want to share it with you that’s all right with him, but please don’t mention it to the feds.” He lifted a coffee cup and his face cleared. “Hah, here it is. I knew I’d printed it.”

“To be honest, we don’t understand either,” said Odelia.

She and Chase had decided to pay a visit to the medical examiner in his office, hoping to get more information about the two bodies that had been discovered.

Abe darted a quick glance at the four of us and smiled. “I love cats. I know your uncle isn’t too crazy about them, but then he’s always been a big old curmudgeon, even when he was as old as you are now.”

“It’s not that Uncle Alec hates cats,” said Odelia, eager to set the record straight, lest there be any misunderstandings. “But he feels weird about having a bunch of cats sitting in on meetings discussing his cases.”

“I don’t mind,” said Abe. “In fact, I have one just like Max at home, though even bigger than he is. I probably should put him on a diet, but I just can’t bring myself to deny him anything his little heart desires.” He touched his own rather rotund midsection. “A defect that runs in the family, I’m afraid. Okay, so where were we?”

“Two bodies found,” Chase reminded him. “One in the field behind our house and another one in a dumpster on the road out of town.”

“Exactly,” said the medical examiner. “Thanks for the reminder, Chase. Okay, so first of all the body that we retrieved from that dumpster. I think I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it’s the body of Laertes Civilian. Dental records have confirmed it since his features were too deteriorated to make a positive ID.”

“Cause of death?” asked Chase as he jotted down a note.

“Strangulation,” said Abe. “The man was practically decapitated. A very fine iron wire would have done the trick. Subsequently, he was buried and only recently dug up. Though I have to say he was remarkably well preserved. The soil underneath the scene of the crime must be of a type that makes for excellent preservation. Not much else of importance.”

“And the other person?” asked Odelia.

“Billy Twyford,” said Abe. “As I told your two colleagues with the FBI, he died more recently. A couple of weeks ago at the most. Hard to pinpoint an exact date as he has been dead for quite a while and the body has decomposed. Cause of death was an overdose of heroin. Your colleagues told me there have been reports of drug abuse in that particular area, and this man seems to be one of its victims. It’s a miracle the body wasn’t discovered sooner, but then according to your uncle he was found in a part of the field where not a lot of people happen to pass by. According to Alec, Mr. Twyford was a known addict who had been in and out of rehab many times and had fallen on hard times and become homeless.”

“So he wasn’t murdered?” asked Odelia.

“No, most likely he did this to himself,” said Abe as he closed the file. “So now you tell me something. What’s the deal with these two parallel investigations?”

“We’re not on the case anymore,” said Chase. “The feds kicked us off because of the bombing. They consider these cases connected in some way, both the murder of Laertes Civilian and the bombing, and even the man found dead in Blake’s Field. And so they don’t want me anywhere near the case, unfortunately.”

“But you’re a stubborn detective and so you’ve decided to continue investigating anyway?” said Abe with a twinkle in his eye.

“Something like that. Though not as a detective but as a researcher working for Odelia.”

“And I’m a reporter researching a story,” said Odelia.

“Whatever floats your boat,” said Abe. “As long as you don’t tell those fine agents Smith and Jones that I’ve allowed you a peek at the crime scene report, it’s all fine with me.”

“We won’t tell them if you don’t,” said Chase.

Abe waved us goodbye and as we left, he said, “You have to bring Max over for a play date once. I’m sure that he and Marcus will get along great. And who knows, they may even be brothers from a different mother—or even the same mother.” He showed Odelia a picture of his cat, and she said that Marcus did indeed look a lot like me.

She then showed me the picture and the cat I saw was so big and so fat that I felt instantly insulted. “I don’t look like that!” I cried.

“You look like that a little, Max,” said Brutus with a grin. “Let’s put it this way: this is your future self staring you in the face if you don’t watch that food intake of yours.”

“Ha ha,” I said. “Very funny, Brutus.”

“No, but I mean it, buddy. Abe and his wife obviously have been spoiling his cat rotten, giving him everything his little heart desires, and this is what you get when that happens.”

In a sense, I guess he was right. It’s true that I like to eat, and if Odelia wouldn’t limit my access to food, I might overdo things from time to time. But that still didn’t make me liable to ever look like Abe’s cat, who was obese, not to put too fine a point on it. Which struck me as odd for a licensed physician.

“Okay, so what now?” asked Chase as we stood outside the medical examiner’s office to regroup and think up our strategy.

“I think we may have to consider the fact that the person who killed Laertes is behind bars already,” said Odelia. “It seems increasingly likely that Ophelia killed his brother and gave him an early grave.” She held up her hand and ticked the items off on her fingers. “One, he was heard screaming to his brother, ‘I hate you! And I will get you for this! I will get you if it’s the last thing I do!’”

“But what did Laertes do that made Ophelia so angry?” asked Chase.

“That’s for Smith and Jones to find out. They have the man in custody and should put those questions to him.”

“Too bad we don’t have access to the suspect. Cause that’s exactly what I would do.”

“Second, Ophelia had access to the building site and knew where to bury his brother’s body so it wouldn’t be found—ever.”

“Yeah, if that building hadn’t been bombed, Laertes’s body would never have been discovered,” said Chase. “Which makes me wonder who this mystery messenger is.”

“Most likely the same person who bombed the building,” said Odelia. “And three, only Ophelia knows why he killed his brother, but clearly he had a motive and that motive is probably connected to the lawsuit. Maybe there never was a settlement. Maybe Laertes did want to bring the matter to court and Ophelia wanted to stop that from happening.”

“Who would know about this lawsuit?”

“Laertes’s lawyer and Ophelia’s lawyer.”

“Then we have to talk to these people,” said Chase.

“I’m way ahead of you, babe,” said Odelia with a smile. “I’ve been emailing Laertes’s lawyer and I’ve set up a meeting with the man in his office.” She then glanced down at the four of us and I could already see the way the wind was blowing.

I sighed. “Let me guess: no pets allowed.”

“You guessed right, Max,” she said. “You guys will have to sit this one out, I’m afraid. Do you mind?”

“I mind being compared to an obese cat like Marcus,” I said.

She crouched down next to me. “You don’t look anything like Marcus,” she said as she gave me a pat on the head. “All right?”

I gave her a smile. “Thanks, Odelia. I knew it, but I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Brothers from another mother,” Brutus muttered casually, and I gave him a scathing look. “What? Just saying, bud.”

We all climbed into Chase’s pickup—even though he was officially on vacation, Uncle Alec had allowed him to use the police station carpool—and moments later we were en route back to Hampton Cove for a meeting with the lawyer.

CHAPTER 36

Lily Heckley had been hard at work on her campaign when she happened to glance out of the window. Much to her horror and shock, she saw the same man who had been outside the old building just before it had been bombed. Once again, he seemed to be just standing there, leaning against a streetlamp, nursing a cup of coffee and checking something on his phone. From time to time, he looked up at the building she was in.

“Oh, no,” she said.

“What is it?” asked Patsy.

“It’s the same man,” she said.

“The same man?”

“The same man who was outside when the other building was bombed,” she said. “I told the police later on, and they said they would try to find him.” She shook her head. “I’m convinced that he had something to do with the bombing.”

Patsy crossed over to her desk and glanced out of the window. “That guy down there?”

“Yep, that’s the one. I would have recognized him anywhere. His image is imprinted on my mind. Just before the building exploded, he looked at me, and then he quickly walked away. He knew what was going to happen, so he must be involved somehow.”

“Better call Odelia Kingsley. I talked to her earlier and she seems to know what she’s doing. Contrary to those two wastes of space that call themselves special agents.”

“Do you have her number?” asked Lily. “I also have it somewhere, but…”

“Here,” said Patsy, and handed her Odelia’s card. The reporter picked up on the first ring.

“Odelia? That man is back!” she said, trying to keep her emotions under control. “The man who was there when the other building was bombed. He’s right outside again, and he’s acting in the exact same way he was before the building exploded.”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“Absolutely. I was just telling Patsy that I would recognize that man out of a thousand. Oh, God, he’s looking right at me again! And now he’s smiling! He’s actually smiling!”

“Stay there and don’t do anything rash,” said Odelia. “Chase and I will be there as soon as possible.”

“Do I call those two special agents?” she asked.

Odelia hesitated. “Yes, better call them.”

And so, after Odelia had hung up, she placed another call, this time to Agent Smith, who had also given them his card.

“Agent Smith. Yes, this is Lily Heckley speaking. I wanted to let you know that the man who I think is responsible for the bombing of our old building is back. He’s watching our new building right now, and I think he could be targeting us again.”

“We’ll be there in five minutes,” the agent assured her.

“For once they seem to be quick off the mark,” she told her boss. “He said they’ll be here in five minutes.”

“I just hope this guy hasn’t put bombs underneath this building also,” said Patsy.

“Maybe we should…”

Patsy stared at her, then nodded. “We better not take any chances.” And so she rose to her feet and clapped her hands. “Listen up, everyone. This is not a drill! We’re all going to follow the evacuation procedure and move out in an orderly and organized fashion!”

Moments later, the entire floor was being evacuated. And since Patsy was not the kind of person who did things in a half-hearted or slapdash way, she contacted the person responsible for the building and told him that they needed to evacuate the building right now, since a possible bomber had been spotted staking out the building.

It wasn’t long before the entire office complex had been cleared of all its personnel and they stood on the sidewalk. Lily glanced in the direction of the streetlamp the man had been leaning against, but she couldn’t see him anywhere. Whatever he had wanted to accomplish, he certainly had received a lot of attention.

Agents Smith and Jones were true to their word, and within five minutes of her phone call, they arrived at the scene, followed in short order by the first fire truck. Odelia and Chase also pulled up nearby, and as the duo climbed out of the car, they scanned the crowd for a sign of her. She waved and they joined her.

“Didn’t I tell you not to do anything rash?” asked Odelia.

“We couldn’t risk being blown up again,” said Lily, a little defensively.

“He’s gone, right?”

“Yeah, the moment we arrived on the sidewalk he was nowhere to be found.”

Odelia and Chase looked up at the building. “Looks like this time at least he hasn’t targeted the building,” said Chase. “Though you never know. Maybe he put the charges in place but hasn’t detonated them yet.”

They watched as the firefighters headed into the building, hopefully to come out of there unharmed again, with the message that they hadn’t found anything out of the ordinary.

“What did he look like?” asked Odelia.

“Here. I took a picture this time,” she said, and showed the reporter the picture she had quickly snapped on her phone.

Odelia zoomed in and studied the picture for a moment. “It’s just as you said. He seems to be wearing some kind of disguise. Sunglasses, cap, but also a fake beard and mustache if I’m not mistaken. I’ll bet he knew exactly what kind of effect he would create by showing up outside your building like this. Especially considering what happened last time he showed his face.”

“I wonder what he wants,” said Lily.

“Yesterday someone sent me a message shortly after the bombing, telling me that a body was buried underneath the old building. We found that man, and it’s now been confirmed that it was the body of Laertes Civilian.”

Lily stared at the reporter. “I saw it on the news. Are you sure it’s Laertes?”

“Yes, the medical examiner has confirmed that it was Laertes. Also, Ophelia has been arrested on suspicion of the murder of his brother. And this man,” she said, pointing to Lily’s phone, “knows exactly what happened. So why hasn’t he come forward?”

“He seems to be sending us some kind of message,” said Lily pensively. “But what could it be? After all, the body was found, and Ophelia was arrested. What more does he want?”

Odelia held up her own phone and checked her messages. “Nothing,” she said. “You’d think that with him popping up again, he’d send me another message, just like yesterday.”

“Maybe he just wanted to let us know that he knows that his message was received and he wants to thank the police for finding the body of Laertes?”

“And now he’ll disappear forever?”

“Something like that.”

They both glanced around, but of the mysterious stranger there was not a single trace. And he’d better make himself scarce, Lily thought. For if he was caught, he’d go to jail for blowing up an entire building.

CHAPTER 37

“The spiders are all gone!” said Kingman, and he looked extremely relieved when he said it. “I mean, one moment they were there, and the next they were gone! And I love it!” He then fixed me with a curious look. “Did you tell them to leave, Max?”

“Now why would I tell the Grovers to leave?” I said.

He gave me a look of satisfaction. “See? You’re even on a first-name basis with them. You know their name!”

“Well, we did have a chat, that’s true,” I admitted.

“Max and I are honorary Grovers,” said Dooley. “And we’ve been invited to the big Grover gathering tonight.”

“We’re also going,” said Harriet. “We’ve arranged things with the Grovers. It wouldn’t have been right if only Max and Dooley went and snookums and I were left to twiddle our thumbs.”

“You can also come if you want, Kingman,” I said.

But the big cat held up his paws and closed his eyes. “If I never see those spiders again it’ll be too soon. Like I told you guys yesterday, I don’t like spiders. Never have, never will. It’s those eyes, you see.”

“Those eyes?” asked Dooley. “What eyes?”

“Exactly! There are so many of them it’s hard to keep track. They’re looking… waiting… biding their time… and then they attack!”

“Spiders are too small to attack a cat, Kingman,” I said. “And the stuff you see in movies is just that: stuff of movies. They’re really sweet creatures, and very family-oriented, too.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” said Kingman. “But I don’t want them here. This is my home,” he said, putting his paw down—literally. “And so I’m officially barring them from entering here again.”

“There’s not much you can do about that, I’m afraid,” I said. “If the Grovers want to hold their meeting in your home, they will.”

Kingman stared at me. “This… Grover gathering. It’s in my home?”

I smiled. “Don’t worry, Kingman. It’s in the field behind our home. And once the gathering is over, they’ll all return to where they came from.”

“And some of them have traveled very far to come to this gathering,” said Dooley. “So we should really admire them for it. And congratulate them on their sense of family. They’re very attached to their clan, these Grovers.”

“And to think they do this every year,” said Brutus, shaking his head. “It’s like Dooley says. You gotta admire their tenacity and their devotion to family.”

“I’m devoted to my family, too,” said Harriet. “But even I wouldn’t travel to the other side of the country—or the world—to be with my family.” She smiled. “But then of course you guys are my family, and I’m glad I see you every day, and not just once a year at some special gathering.”

“Aw,” said Kingman. “You guys are my family, too.”

Father Reilly came hurrying into the store. “What’s going on over by the office district?” he asked. “There are police and fire trucks.”

“No idea,” said Wilbur, who was seated at the checkout counter, glued to his chair as usual. He turned his little television set to the local TV station. “These guys are usually well-informed.”

Together they watched for a moment, and Father Reilly frowned. “Another bombing? You don’t say.”

“Bomb scare, Francis,” Wilbur corrected him. “No actual bombing… yet.”

“Isn’t that Odelia and Chase?” asked Dooley, pointing to the TV set.

He was right. Our humans were on TV, talking to people standing outside of an office building, and in the background, I could see several police cars and fire engines.

“I hope they’re all right,” said Harriet fervently. “You know, sometimes I really think they shouldn’t be in this line of business. It’s too dangerous.”

“We should have been there for them is what you mean,” said Brutus. “We can make sure they don’t come to any harm.”

“If a building is being bombed, I’m not sure there’s a lot we can do about it, tootsie.”

“No, but we could warn them. Cats pick up on things.”

He was right. We should have been there with our humans. But ever since they had taken off to talk to this lawyer person, we hadn’t heard from them. It reminded me of the case, however. And so I told Kingman the latest news about the body that had been found in the dumpster, and the other body in the field.

“Good thing they took that body away,” said Dooley. “The Grovers didn’t like it. It was likely to spoil their big celebration.”

“Tell that to the poor guy’s family,” said Brutus censoriously. “They probably don’t mind about the spiders but more about the fact that their relative has been found dead.”

“Death and mayhem seem to follow you guys around everywhere you go,” said Kingman as he made a face. “Maybe you shouldn’t come around here for a while. At least until this bomber is caught. He’s liable to bomb the General Store as well. And then where are Wilbur and I going to live?”

“And here I thought we were your family,” I said with a smile.

“You are my family,” he assured us. “Of course you are. But you don’t want your family to be responsible for your home being blown to pieces, do you?”

I got the impression that Kingman wanted us to move along, and so we did. But not before telling him that he didn’t have to worry about the store, as this bomber seemed intent on persecuting the people he held responsible for the death of Laertes Civilian. As we moved on, so did Father Reilly, who almost stepped on my tail. “Oh, Max!” he said. “I’m so sorry. It’s this whole bombing business. It’s got me all discombobulated!”

“No worries, Father,” I said magnanimously, though of course he couldn’t understand a word I said.

“Poor Laertes Civilian,” he said as he folded his hands in prayer. “Such a nice young man. And so talented, too. Though I should have known that something terrible was going to happen. I told him at the time, but he wouldn’t listen.” He shook his head. “Such a waste.”

And with these words, he hurried off, possibly to burn a candle for the immortal soul of Laertes Civilian.

“Odd that Father Reilly would have known Laertes,” said Dooley.

“Not that odd,” I said. “Considering that Father Reilly probably knows pretty much every person in Hampton Cove.”

What did strike me as significant was that the priest seemed to have known the dead man quite well. And so I made a mental note to tell Odelia to have a chat with him.

CHAPTER 38

That night at the dinner table, there was only one topic of conversation, and that was the case Odelia and Chase were working on—or not working on, depending on who you asked. Uncle Alec had decided to drop by with Charlene, and since Odelia and Chase’s house had been occupied by the film crew, we had temporarily relocated to Tex and Marge’s place.

The four of us enjoyed a nice lie-down on the couch while the grown-ups enjoyed dinner. I had been wondering how the story with the bombing had ended, and also the interview with the lawyer, but since we had sort of lost sight of our humans, it wasn’t until now that my curiosity would finally be satisfied when Uncle Alec asked the exact same question I had been wanting to ask myself.

“What was the deal with that bombing?” he asked. “Those two idiots, Agents Smith & Wesson or whatever their names are, refused to tell me anything.” He shook his head sadly. “I feel like an outsider in my own precinct. They’re running the show, and I’m just a tourist.”

“The bombing that never was,” said Chase as he broke a piece of bread in two and ate one half of it while he handed the other half to his wife.

“The man breaks bread, Max,” said Dooley. “Did you see that?”

“I did see that,” I said. “But I don’t see the significance.”

“There’s just something about a man breaking bread at the dinner table that strikes me as… significant,” he confessed.

It had long been Dooley’s contention that Chase has a saintly quality, and at times past even suspected Chase of being Jesus Himself. I think we had all come to see that Chase was simply a human man, and that even though he was a great guy, he wasn’t a saint. But from time to time, the old notion still cropped up and hit Dooley squarely in the eye.

“So, nothing happened?” asked Tex. “There was no bomb?”

“No bomb,” Chase confirmed. “They looked all over and it was a false alarm. Though the guy who is a suspect in the first bombing was seen at the scene, so that was enough to cause a full-blown panic.”

“Better safe than sorry,” said Odelia. “I think it’s good that Lily Heckley called it in when she did.”

“Lily Heckley,” said Marge. “Is she the woman who saw the bomber yesterday?”

“She is,” said Odelia. “And she saw the same man today, and even made a video of him. Unfortunately, he was too well-disguised to make anything out. But she’s sent the video to the special agents, so maybe they’ll be able to make something of it. They have more sophisticated equipment than we have.”

“No wonder,” Uncle Alec grumbled. “They have a much bigger budget.”

“We did have a very interesting chat with Laertes Civilian’s lawyer today, though,” said Odelia. “And that’s not something that has occurred to the agents yet, for the lawyer told us that we were the first ones to contact him.”

“And what did he have to say?” asked Uncle Alec.

“Well, Laertes did indeed want to leave the company he and his brother had built. The main reason was that he felt not appreciated in his work. His brother was taking on more and more corporate clients and ignoring Laertes’s wish to keep the company low-key and on the fringe of the corporate world. He didn’t feel that creating big corporate ad campaigns was a good way to spend his time and talent. And when his brother wouldn’t see that, Laertes decided to quit and open his own boutique ad agency. Ophelia understandably didn’t agree with that, especially when Laertes said he’d take some of their existing clients to his new shop, since Ophelia had no use for them anymore.”

“So the fight was about Ophelae’s customer list?” asked Uncle Alec.

“According to the lawyer that was the main point of contention,” said Chase. “Laertes wanted to split everything down the middle, with him taking the clients that he felt were closest to his heart and Ophelia keeping the more successful and big-name brands. But some of the clients on Laertes’s list were pretty high-profile ones, even if niche. And losing them would have meant a great loss to Ophelae. Not just financially but also prestigiously.”

“Basically,” Odelia added, “Ophelia was afraid that with his brother leaving, that would mean the end of Ophelae, as everyone in the business knew that Laertes was the creative genius that had put Ophelae on the map in the first place.”

“He has been arrested for the murder of his brother, hasn’t he?” asked Marge as she took a seat at the dinner table.

“He has,” Uncle Alec confirmed. “Though he denies any involvement and claims he’s innocent.”

“Do your agents have a case against him?” asked Tex.

“Please don’t call them my agents,” said Uncle Alec with a pained look. “Like I said, they keep me out of the loop completely, so I have absolutely no idea what’s going on with the investigation.”

“What I would like to know,” said Chase, “is who this mysterious person is who keeps popping up. My instinct tells me he’s the one who bombed the Ophelae headquarters. But when I try to ask the fire chief about it, he gives me the runaround.”

“Same here,” said Uncle Alec. “It’s a disgrace. An absolute disgrace.” He darted a glance at his wife, but Charlene shook her head adamantly.

“I will not ask the fire chief about the state of the investigation, Alec. I’m keeping well out of this.”

“And so you should,” said Gran. “This is a case for the neighborhood watch.” She sagged a little. “Too bad I’ve been too busy with my film career to give this case any of my attention. Otherwise, I would probably have already nabbed this bomber.”

“Your film career?” asked Charlene. “Are you starring in a movie now, Vesta?”

“Absolutely,” said Gran proudly. “Me and Scarlett both. We’re the Vestal Virgins in Clark Timberlake’s new masterpiece. And you know what that means. Hollywood, here we come!” Her words were received with a round of snickers around the table and that clearly didn’t sit well with Gran, for she frowned. “What’s so funny?”

“Vesta, you may be a lot of things,” said Charlene. “But you are definitely not a virgin, and the evidence is sitting around this dinner table.”

“Tell that to Clark. At least he appreciates my prodigious talent.”

“I wonder what he will have us do,” said Scarlett. “He still hasn’t given us a script.”

“He doesn’t use a script,” said Odelia. “He likes his actors to improvise everything.”

Gran’s eyes went wide. “Improvise! I thought he was kidding when he said that!”

“So how does that work, exactly?” asked Scarlett.

“As far as I can make out,” said Odelia, “he simply tells you what he wants to accomplish in a scene, and then you come up with the dialogue yourself. Though if you can’t come up with anything, I’m sure he’ll tell you what to say.”

“I’m not sure there will be a lot of dialogue,” said Chase. “I asked him, and he said that mostly he doesn’t like the actors in his movies to have a lot of dialogue. His nickname in the business is ‘Action Jackson’ and so action is key.”

Scarlett looked shocked. “But I don’t know the first thing about action!”

“Yeah, what does he mean by action?” asked Gran. “If he wants me to jump out of an airplane or something, he hired the wrong woman. I ain’t jumping out of no stinkin’ airplanes! He needs to ask Tom Cruise. He’s into that kind of thing.”

“He needs two virgins?” asked Uncle Alec.

“That’s right,” said Gran. “I’m Virgin Number One and Scarlett is Virgin Number Two. Why?”

“No names?”

“Just Virgin Number One,” said Gran.

Uncle Alec grinned. “I have a feeling your role will be very short, Ma.”

“Short? What do you mean?”

“I’ve checked out some of this guy’s movies, and mostly the virgins get slaughtered early on in the movie.”

“No, that’s the cats,” said Gran. “They get slaughtered. By Susie. The virgins…” She directed a questioning glance at her friend.

“Don’t look at me,” said Scarlett. “I don’t know what he expects us to do either.”

“I’m sure the virgins have a big role to play,” said Gran, but she already looked a lot less sure of herself than before.

“I play the Monster,” said Chase laconically as he pronged a piece of chicken. “No idea what that entails. And you’re a fair wench, aren’t you, babe?”

“Yeah, I guess that means it’s a kind of beauty and the beast type of scenario?”

“And I’m the creator of the Monster,” said Uncle Alec sadly. “Who’s rotting in his grave after he was murdered by his own creation. Though now I’m alive again, I suppose?”

“Don’t look at me, buddy,” said Chase. “I have absolutely no idea what goes on in that febrile mind of Clark Timberlake. Though I can promise you one thing: if he expects me to walk around with bolts stuck to the sides of my head, I’m out of there.”

“I would be delighted to walk around with bolts in my head,” said Tex quietly.

I could see where he was coming from. If he was the Monster, he got to murder one of the Vestal Virgins, and that was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.

“So what are you guys?” asked Charlene, who seemed highly amused by the whole movie thing. “Tex?”

“I haven’t been asked,” said Tex sadly.

“Me neither,” said Marge. “And maybe it’s a good thing, when I hear these stories. The Monster? The Virgin? The Wench? Clearly this will not be a masterpiece.”

“But it will still be good fun,” said Charlene. “Maybe I should talk to this director and ask him if I can also play a part. I wouldn’t mind being a wench, you know, or a virgin.”

“You could be the Creator’s wife,” Uncle Alec suggested. “That way we can both be undead together. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I would love to be undead with you,” said Charlene with a laugh.

“Too bad we’re dead already,” said Brutus.

“We could always be undead,” said Harriet. “Just like Uncle Alec.”

“Harriet is right,” I said. “In these types of movies nobody ever really dies. The moment you do you simply come back again.”

“I don’t want to be undead,” said Dooley with a wide-eyed look of horror. “I hate zombies, you guys. I don’t want to be one myself!”

“It’s just a movie, Dooley,” I said. “Like Charlene said, it’s great fun. And besides, we would all be undead together, so that can’t be so bad, right?”

“Think of it like one big Halloween party,” said Harriet. “They’ll put prosthetics on us and make us look really gruesome.”

“Do you think?” said Dooley, who didn’t look fully convinced.

“Let’s wait and see what Clark comes up with,” I said. “But if he does have further use for us, I’m game.”

“Me too,” said Harriet. “I may not be the star of this movie, but it’s still a lot of fun to be a part of the show.”

She had certainly changed her tune, I thought. But then her great ambition had never been to be credited as ‘Slaughtered Cat Number Four.’

CHAPTER 39

Ihad told Odelia about Father Reilly and the fact that he had known Laertes personally, and she said that was a great tip, and she would follow up on it for sure. Feeling gratified that I had done my human a solid, I decided to head over next door to see what the film crew was up to. When I slipped through the opening in the hedge, I saw that they had transformed the backyard into a scene from a horror movie, which was probably apt, as they were creating a horror movie.

I could see that our ‘bodies’ were still lying there, and I examined them up close. It was a strange feeling to be looking at the dead and mutilated version of myself, with my guts hanging out and my head having been gnawed off by a ghoul. My friends, who had joined me, all seemed equally impressed when they came face to face with their puppet selves.

“I look horrible, Max!” said Harriet. “Full of blood and gore!”

“I think it’s pretty cool,” said Brutus as he stared at his alternative self. “I didn’t even know you could make a puppet look so lifelike.” He reached out a paw and touched his clone. “I expect it to come to life any moment!” he said.

“I didn’t know I was so fat,” I said. “They made me a lot fatter than I really am, didn’t they?”

“I think he looks pretty realistic,” said Brutus with a grin.

“It’s all of your big bones, Max,” said Dooley.

“It’s common knowledge that the camera adds ten pounds,” said Harriet. “Though for me that’s not a problem, of course, since I’m naturally slender to begin with.”

Susie came sauntering up and plopped down next to us. “Like what you see?” he asked.

“It’s certainly very impressive,” I said.

“Yeah, those puppet and prosthetics people are the best in the business,” said the big dog. “They’ve been working with Clark for decades and know exactly what he needs.”

“Do you know what’s going to happen to the Vestal Virgins?” I asked. “It’s just that Gran is very curious about her part.”

Susie frowned. “Um, the virgins… Ah, yes, I seem to remember Clark mentioning them. They pop up from time to time to try and seduce the main character—the hero, so to speak. If a horror movie ever really has a hero, of course. The notion is debatable.”

“Who is the hero?” I asked.

“Why, the Monster, of course,” said Susie with a yawn. “And the Monster’s bride. So I guess your humans will be the heroes of the piece, and the rest are there to make them shine.”

“So what about the virgins?” Dooley insisted.

“Like I said, they pop up from time to time to try and seduce the hero. In the end, they get slayed, though.”

“They get slayed?” asked Dooley.

“Of course. In horror movies, the virgins always get slayed. In the most gruesome way possible. Heads chopped off. Bodies sawn in half. Limbs severed. That kind of thing.”

Dooley turned to me. “Gran isn’t going to like that, Max. She wanted to play the main role.”

Susie laughed. “Oh, Dooley. Virgins never play the main role! That’s a given. No, the virgins get slayed. I just can’t seem to remember who does the slaying. It could be me,” he said cheerfully. “Clark seems to like it when I tear people limb from limb.”

“You do it very well,” I told the dog.

“Yeah, you’ve got a knack for it,” said Harriet.

“Thanks,” said Susie, taking these compliments in stride. “I do what I can to make it look real. It’s a team effort, of course. I couldn’t do it alone.”

The rest of the family now all arrived to take their cues from the director. He had announced a night shoot, and so that’s what they were going to get. And since our role was played out, I figured we’d have a nice and easy time of it on the sidelines while our humans were worked to the bone by the director. But when he caught sight of us, he came right over. “Get these cats ready,” he said. “We need them for the first scene!”

We all shared a look of surprise. “We’re still in the movie?” asked Harriet, cheering up considerably. “But I thought we were dead.”

Susie gave her a look of surprise. “But honey, in a Clark Timberlake movie, nobody ever really dies, didn’t you know?”

And so it was that we were all outfitted with prosthetics. This time the guts were added to my person, and also the brains that had spilled from my head. In the end, we all looked pretty gruesome. Turns out we had been transformed into the undead after all.

“Yikes,” said Harriet. “I hope nobody recognizes me in this movie. I’d hate for this to be my debut role. And I definitely will not have my name added to the end credits,” she said determinedly. “Or on my IMDb page. That’s non-negotiable.”

The moment we passed through hair and makeup, it was time for our humans to go down the same route. Before long, Odelia had been transformed into the Wench, Chase into the Monster, Uncle Alec into the undead Creator that he was, Gran and Scarlett into virgins, and since Odelia had asked Clark if the rest of her family could also be in the movie, he had added Charlene, Tex, and Marge to the roster. Tex was a sickly and dentally challenged farmer, Marge the farmer’s wife suffering from the same affliction, and Charlene had been transformed into the Wench’s mother who wanted to destroy the Monster before it destroyed her daughter. All in all, an impressive line-up of fine thespians ready to give their best, and I could see that this movie was going to be a smash hit in certain circles.

Clark had brought in his usual stable of actors, who all played more or less the same roles in all of his movies, and our home was buzzing with activity and crackling with creative fervor. Night had fallen, and the scene was set. The Creator, having created his monster and been slain by it, had been buried underneath the rose bushes. Which meant that Uncle Alec had been buried underneath the rose bushes, something he didn’t seem to appreciate very much as he kept complaining about dirt getting everywhere.

“My poor rose bushes,” said Harriet as she stared at Odelia’s uncle trying to claw free of the underground pit he’d been relegated to by his godson Chase—or in this particular case by the monster he had created.

“Pretty neat,” said Brutus. “I didn’t think Uncle Alec had the acting chops to pull it off.”

Truth be told, the police chief didn’t have to do much. Basically, he had to crawl out of the ground and growl at the camera and look mean and angry after having been in the ground for a good number of years.

“Cut!” yelled Clark. He applauded. “Excellent work, Alex.”

“The name is Alec,” Uncle Alec grumbled as he removed a pound of dirt from his collar.

“Let’s get you set up for the second take.”

“Second take!” Uncle Alec cried, much dismayed. “But I thought this was it!”

“Oh, no,” said the director. “I know you can do better than this, Alex. So let’s go again and this time with feeling!”

As we all watched the police chief being buried again, the rose bush being placed on top of his head for the second take, we hadn’t noticed that Father Reilly had arrived on his bicycle and was watching the proceedings with a curious eye.

“What’s going on here?” he asked.

Gran sidled up to him, and when he saw her, he let out a short yelp of shock. “Vesta? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” she said. “I’m a virgin, couldn’t you tell?”

“Frankly, no,” he said. “You look like you’ve been dragged backward through a hedge a couple of times.”

“Well, I’m a virgin,” she snapped. “What do you want?”

“Oh, Odelia called me. She wanted to know more about my relationship with Laertes Civilian.”

“Odelia is in hair and makeup,” said Gran. “You can go and see her now. Hair and makeup is upstairs in the master bedroom,” she added.

The priest went in search of our human, and since I’m a curious kitty, I decided to toddle on after him. My scene wasn’t up for at least another hour or so, and so I had plenty of time on my hands. They say that making movies is basically waiting around a lot and raiding the craft services table at every available opportunity, and I was starting to see that this was an accurate description of reality.

“Odelia?” said Father Reilly when he had finally located our human. “You look… different.”

“I’m a wench,” she said proudly. The people of the hair and makeup department, and also the costumer, had indeed transformed her into a wench and had managed to make her extremely delectable by putting a push-up bra to good use. She had been dressed in some kind of low-cut number and I could see why the Monster would have fallen for her.

“You certainly look like a wench,” he said, and couldn’t keep the disapproval from his voice. Clearly, to him the way she was dressed constituted nothing less than a mortal sin. But since he wasn’t there to pass judgment, he took a seat next to her while the stylist kept working on her hair, putting a lot of curls into it, and listened.

“Well, rumor has it that you knew Laertes Civilian quite well,” she explained. “And since we’ve been looking into his death, I was wondering if you could shed some light on the events that led to his death.”

She hadn’t even finished speaking when the priest held up his hands and shook his head. “You know I can’t divulge anything said during confession, Odelia. The seal of the confessional is absolute and inviolable.”

“So you were his confessor?”

“Yes, I was. I was also his close personal friend, but as I said, what he told me during confession is not something I can divulge.”

“That’s too bad. It’s just that his brother has been arrested, and the FBI is still trying to connect the dots on the case.”

“What do you mean? You’re not in charge of this case?”

“No, we’re not,” said Odelia as she studied her look in the mirror and seemed to like what she saw. “Can you take a picture of me?” she asked the hairstylist. “For posterity.”

“What happened to Laertes, exactly?” asked Father Reilly.

“As far as we can tell,” said Odelia, “he was strangled and buried under the foundations of what was to become the Ophelae main headquarters. It’s only through the word of an informant that we accidentally hit upon his grave.”

“But I thought he was found in a dumpster?” asked the priest.

“He was dug up again, and his body was then placed in a dumpster, that’s right. But for the past fifteen years, the Ophelae headquarters were his grave.”

“My God,” said the priest. “If only I had known.”

“When did you last see him?”

“It must have been a couple of days before he disappeared. At the time, we all thought he had gone up to his cabin. The family owned a cabin in the mountains, and after he and his brother had fallen out, he decided he needed some space to think and figure out his next steps. But then when we never heard from him again, we all thought he had decided that his next steps would be taken far away from Hampton Cove. What little did we know.”

“Did he confide in you what the fight with his brother was about?”

The priest held up his hands again.

“I know, I know. It’s just that according to several witnesses, they fought over the future of the company. With Laertes wanting to preserve his integrity and the original vision of Ophelae, whereas his brother wanted to join the big leagues and go after major clients.”

“As I said, I really can’t go into all of that,” said Father Reilly, giving her a pained look.

“But does this explanation ring true to you or not?”

He hesitated. “Let’s just say there was more to the argument than meets the eye,” he said carefully. “I’ve already said more than I should have.” He got up. “I would like to arrange the funeral. I owe my friend that much, especially after I never looked for him.”

“Nobody looked for him,” said Odelia. “Except his girlfriend at the time. Renita Gawley. She never stopped looking, and never stopped loving him either.”

The priest nodded and folded his hands again. “Please let me know when the body is released. I will contact the family to make the funeral arrangements.”

And with these words, he was off, leaving the wench to be wenched up even more. She was certainly going to drive more than one monster crazy with her new wenchy look.

As the priest exited the house, still looking pained after these recent revelations, Clark Timberlake caught sight of him and did a double take. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to be a priest, would you, buddy? I mean, you look so much like a priest it’s uncanny.”

“I am a man of God, that is correct,” said Father Reilly with solemnity and grace.

“Would you like to be in a movie? I could use a priest.”

“Are you in need of spiritual salvation, my son?”

The director gave him a strange look. “No, I’m in need of a priest who can perform an exorcism. I’ve got two virgins, see, and they’re both cursed. So I need you to exorcise the demons. Sprinkle some holy water, say a couple prayers. Think you’re up for the job, bud?”

In response, Father Reilly gave him a long withering look, then turned on his heel and strode off without another word.

CHAPTER 40

Before the Wench and the Monster made their debut, it was time for Tex and Marge to come to the Creator’s assistance. In Clark’s creative view, they were to stand by his side and help him enact his vengeance on the Monster. To that end, Tex and Marge were to amass an army of the undead who would fight the Monster and take him out. The moment Uncle Alec had dug himself out of the grave that the Monster had put him in, he and his sister and brother-in-law began to look for allies by digging up more corpses and bringing them to life again.

“How hard is it to bring a dead person to life, you think, Max?” asked Dooley as we watched Tex, Uncle, and Marge trying to revive one of the extras that Clark had hired. It was a woman, and she looked and smelled extremely ripe, I had to say.

“I think it’s pretty hard,” I said. “Even for an excellent doctor like Tex.”

“It’s pretty ironic, though, isn’t it?” said Brutus, “that Tex has to bring this person back from the dead. He being in the medical profession, I mean?”

“I’m sure he knows it’s just a movie,” I said.

“We all know it’s just a movie, Max,” said Harriet with an eye roll. “But that doesn’t make it less fun to speculate on these very important questions of life and death.”

Tex had removed the brain of the dead woman and was holding the oozing slab of gloopy mass in his hands, his face betraying his sheer abhorrence that he would have to get involved in such a torrid production. I got the impression he already regretted having signed up for the job.

“Hold it up to the sky,” Clark instructed off-camera. “Hold it up, Doc. Think Lion King!”

And so Tex held up the gooey blobby mass to the moon, which was full and splendorous in the night sky.

“Okay, cut!” Clark yelled. “The rest we will add in post. Now all you have to do is put the brain back in her head,” he explained, “and as for you, Lily⁠—”

“Mary,” said the dead woman.

“Mary. You will start coming to life, all right? Think zombie apocalypse. Okay, action!”

And so the good doctor put the brain back where it belonged, and before long, a miracle occurred: the dead woman staggered around and did a pretty great impression of a zombie.

“Cut!” said the director. “Excellent! Let’s do another one!”

“Oh, boy,” said Brutus. “Am I glad we didn’t have to do more than one take.”

“That’s because we’re professionals, sweetums,” said Harriet. “A real actor nails it in the first take, didn’t you know?”

“No, I didn’t know that,” said Brutus.

“Of course, if you’re going to work with amateurs like Tex and Marge, you can’t expect to get good results. You have to keep going until they nail it—most of the time quite by accident. And even then, it will often end up on the cutting room floor, all of their scenes excised from the final print.”

“You know an awful lot about this stuff, don’t you?” I said.

She swelled up a little. “Of course I do. Any aspiring actor knows that preparation is key. And so I’ve been reading up on the subject for years.”

“What do you read?” I asked.

“Why, all the important trade magazines, of course.”

“You mean like Variety and Hollywood Reporter?”

She stared at me. “Never heard of those. No, I read National Enquirer, Star Magazine, People, In Touch. The trades, as we like to call them in the biz.”

Behind us, Father Reilly was still following along, but I could see that he wasn’t in a good state. Finally, he sought out Gran, who was trying to select something from the craft services table.

“Vesta? Can I talk to you a moment?” he asked.

“Sure thing, Francis. Will you look at these goodies? No wonder everyone wants to be an actor. Free food all day long!”

She picked a slice of lemon drizzle cake from the table and accompanied the priest to a quiet corner of the house where they could sit and talk in private. And since I love private conversations, I decided to trundle along.

“Odelia asked me a lot of questions about Laertes Civilian,” the priest explained as Gran enjoyed her piece of cake. “To my regret, I couldn’t answer any of her questions since I’m compelled to hold up the secret of the confessional.”

“Of course you are,” said Gran.

“But I can tell you, can’t I? I mean, you being the leader of the neighborhood watch and all? And my very good friend?”

“Absolutely, Francis,” she said. “You know that my lips are sealed.”

“Okay,” he said, and composed his thoughts for a moment. “The thing is that Laertes was having a lot of trouble with his brother. The main problem being that he wanted to get married and Ophelia didn’t approve. He felt extremely conflicted over this and came to me many times to discuss things. I didn’t feel I was the right person to advise him, though.”

“And why was that?” asked Gran.

“Well, the thing is that Laertes wanted to marry his boyfriend.”

Gran looked up at this, the piece of drizzle cake that had been on its way to her mouth halting in midair. “Boyfriend?”

“Yes, Laertes had a boyfriend that no one knew about. Except me and… well, Ophelia, of course.”

“But… I thought that Laertes was engaged to be married to this woman… this, um, Renita something?”

“He was, which is why he felt so conflicted. He had been harboring feelings deeper than mere friendship for a man for a while, but was afraid to tell his fiancée. Her parents were very important people, you see. They were heavily invested in Ophelae and were by way of being the company’s main shareholders and also the ones who had put up the startup capital. If he broke off the engagement it could have serious repercussions on Ophelae.”

“Didn’t he love the girl?”

“He did, but more and more he felt that his feelings were of the platonic kind. He and Renita had met in college and had become college sweethearts. This was before he realized that he was attracted to men. He met this man a year before he died at an ad tech conference in San Francisco, and he described it to me as a coup de foudre. He said he tried to fight it but in the end understood that he was deeply in love with this man.”

“And did they have an affair?”

“Yes, they did. They used to meet secretly at the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa from time to time, but with the marriage coming up, he said he couldn’t walk down the aisle and lie to his friends and family and most of all to Renita, and he wanted to come clean and marry Genaro instead.”

“Genaro?” she said. “That was the boyfriend?”

“Genaro Nunn. I never met him, and as far as I can tell he wasn’t from around these parts. I think Laertes once mentioned that he was from upstate New York. Westchester, maybe. I’m not sure. But anyway, he wanted my advice, so I told him he should follow his heart.” He wrung his hands. “Advice that may very well have led straight to his death.”

“Ophelia took it bad, you mean?”

“He took it very badly. Said that breaking off the engagement would cause a big scandal, would alienate their main investors, and could very well spell the end of Ophelae.”

“So that was what the argument between the two brothers was about, huh?”

Father Reilly nodded. “I never saw him again. Next thing I know he was up in the family’s chalet, and then he disappeared. Until yesterday, when his body turned up.”

“Murdered by his own brother,” said Gran, nodding. “Clearly Ophelia went to the extreme to keep his brother from causing that scandal. He murdered him and buried him. And buried the truth along with him.”

“Please don’t tell Odelia,” said Father Reilly. “All of this was told to me in confidence, much of it in confession. And so I couldn’t possibly tell a living soul. Except you.”

“That’s convenient, since apparently I’m about to die,” said Gran. “I’m a virgin, see, who’s about to be slaughtered by the Monster, as played by Chase.”

“Wickedness,” said the priest as he shook his head in dismay. “Pure wickedness.”

“I know, right?” said Gran with a happy little sigh.

CHAPTER 41

Ihad gone in search of Odelia, but unfortunately her scene had just come up, so the information I had gleaned would have to wait.

“She’s incredible, isn’t she, Max?” asked Dooley as we watched our human play her very first scene ever for a movie.

“She really is,” I said, surprised that Odelia would have kept this talent of hers a secret from us.

She and Chase were playing the scene where the Monster becomes aware that his Creator has come back to life and has crawled out of his grave, and now all he can think of is to protect the Wench and make sure she doesn’t come to any harm. To that end, he goes in search of his maker to destroy him once and for all. The Wench, however, who has her heart in the right place, convinces him not to go after the old man. The scene that played out was quite reminiscent of a classic love scene.

Captured by the light of the full moon, the Monster takes his maiden into his arms and there is a short speech where she pleads with him to bestow his mercy on the Creator, and even steals a kiss from the Monster, who, I had to admit, looked quite monstrous. The hair and makeup people had really outdone themselves with Chase and had made him look like some kind of werewolf with sizable fangs and quite the impressive head of a man-wolf.

“I don’t understand how Odelia can kiss a monster like that,” said Brutus with a touch of disapproval.

“But sugar bear,” said Harriet, who was watching with bated breath. “It’s so romantic!”

“If you like that sort of thing,” he grumbled. “I just don’t like it that they made Chase look like a monster. Why couldn’t they simply let him be himself?”

“But that’s the whole idea,” said Harriet. “He is the Monster and in spite of his appearance the Wench still falls in love with him.” She sighed a happy little sigh. “Oh, isn’t it the most romantic thing you’ve ever seen?”

Brutus cut me a look that spoke volumes. But in spite of the fact that I also had my reservations, I didn’t think it was as bad as all that. There was a certain appeal, even though I knew that underneath the wolf there lurked Chase, and so I had a hard time believing that he was a monster. In other words, the suspension of disbelief didn’t come easy to me.

“Why does he look like a wolf, Max?” asked Dooley. “I mean, is he a wolf or a man? Or a little bit of both?”

“I guess he is a little bit of both,” I said. “He’s a wolf-man. Or a man-wolf.”

“Why didn’t they make him a cat-man or a man-cat?” asked Brutus. “That would have been more interesting for us.”

The thought of Odelia kissing a cat-man or man-cat was so abhorrent to me that I had to turn away. “Yuck,” I said.

“Double yuck,” said Dooley.

“Now you’ve gone and spoiled it for me,” said Harriet.

And since we had more or less had enough of this whole interspecies nonsense, romantic or not, we decided to honor our promise to the Grovers and attend their annual gathering. All these undead people and monsters weren’t really my bag, I have to admit.

When we arrived in the field behind the house, I saw that the Grovers hadn’t been idle, as there were now more spiderwebs than ever, and it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be to get to where we needed to be. Also, one Grover pretty much looks like the next one to me, and so we had a hard time finding the Grover that had invited us.

Finally, we arrived at a clearing in the heart of the field, and saw that this was possibly the epicenter of the big gathering. Grover CLXXXIX, who must have been waiting for us, came hurrying up.

“Oh, hey, D-d-dooley,” he said. “I am glad you could make it. These are your friends?”

“They are,” said Dooley. “These are Max, Harriet and Brutus—my very best friends.”

“Nice to meet you, D-d-dooley’s friends,” said Grover CLXXXIX, well pleased.

“So where do you want us?” I asked.

“Oh, just take a seat anywhere. I’ll make sure that my family leaves you in peace. I know how you guys don’t always appreciate it when we crawl all over you and spin our webs.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see that Harriet was actually shivering at the thought of having a bunch of spiders crawling all over her, and so I said, “That’s very considerate of you.”

“It’s the least I can do for our honored guests,” he said. “Did you know that this is the first time that non-Grovers have ever attended a Grover gathering?”

“Is that a fact?” I said.

“Absolutely. We don’t just invite any Tom, Dick, or Harry to join our feast. And now just sit back and have fun, you guys. The party is about to begin!”

And so we did as instructed and settled back to see what these Grovers were up to. It was a little hard to make out, but I got the distinct impression there were lots and lots of Grovers present. Possibly the biggest collection of spiders I had ever seen in my lifetime.

“Too bad they’re so tiny, isn’t it, Max?” said Dooley. “Otherwise we could join and sing Kumbaya with them around the campfire.”

“I’m not sure if spiders are crazy about fire, Dooley,” I said. I know I’m not too crazy about fire either, though there is something innately cozy about sitting around a nice campfire with one human playing the guitar and a bunch of others singing softly along. Though spiders don’t play the guitar, so that was probably not an option.

“What are they doing?” I asked Brutus.

“Um… chatting?” he suggested.

It appeared as if the main portion of the evening’s entertainment consisted of the Grovers all standing around and shooting the breeze.

“But this is supposed to be a feast,” he said. “Where is the food?”

“What do spiders eat?” asked Harriet. “Dooley, do you know?”

Dooley thought for a moment. “I did see a documentary about spiders the other day, but they didn’t have a lot to say about their dietary needs. Mainly they eat flies and bugs.”

A thought occurred to me, and I looked up in alarm. “You guys. Norm and Norma!”

“Oh, dear,” said Harriet. “Maybe that’s why the Grovers picked this field. Plenty of little Norms and Normas around this time of year.”

Our good friend Norm the fly had recently become a daddy of a brood of at least a hundred strong, and I didn’t think he would appreciate it if all of his kiddies were eaten by these Grovers. And so I only saw one solution. I nudged Harriet. “You have to sing a song, Harriet.”

She perked right up. “I thought you’d never ask!”

“Of course. A party isn’t really swinging unless there’s a band playing. Or a DJ behind the turntable to pump up the jam. And since the Grovers seem to have totally forgotten about that, I suggest that we provide the entertainment for tonight. So what do you say? The four of us should be able to make something happen here. Make some noise?”

“Maybe I’ll sing a nice ballad. People love my ballads, so why shouldn’t the Grovers like them as well? You guys will be my backing vocals, all right? I’ll sing the lead as usual.”

“Deal,” I said, well pleased.

And so Harriet puffed herself up by filling her lungs with air, and moments later was bursting out into song the way only she can: by ripping a hole in the space-time continuum.

She had, from her extensive oeuvre, chosen Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven, and even though it was an unusual choice for a family gathering, I commended her on the selection, as she decided to go straight for the chorus and those high notes that make all the difference and belted out the lyrics with a fervor that had to be seen to be believed.

I shared a happy glance with Brutus, and I could tell that he was thinking the same thing I was: Harriet was in her element tonight. And since we were standing behind her, our ears were more or less saved from the destruction that Harriet’s voice wrought. The same couldn’t be said for the Grovers. At first, they all stared at Harriet, as if she was some kind of monster from the deep that had just emerged to go on a rampage. A Godzilla ready to lay waste to entire city blocks. And then they fled en masse to the nearest safe place.

The one thing I hadn’t foreseen was that the only way they could flee was through our backyard, which was being overrun with thousands of Grovers, interrupting Clark’s movie shoot. But since he was a creative director and liked to improvise, I was sure he would manage to add the spiders’ invasion to his movie. It certainly harped on the same theme.

When Harriet finally decided that she’d sung enough and opened her eyes, she discovered, with the rest of us, that every last Grover had fled.

“Where is my audience?” she asked, expecting applause but getting bupkis.

“I think they were so emotional that they needed to take a break,” I told her.

She smiled and clasped her paws together with glee. “It’s always so gratifying to spread some sweetness and light in the lives of others, isn’t it, Max?”

“Absolutely,” I said, secure in the knowledge that we had saved the lives of Norm’s offspring by this timely intervention.

CHAPTER 42

When we arrived back at the house, I was surprised to discover that the shoot had been canceled. The place looked a hot mess, with furniture strewn around, some of it broken and smashed up, items of clothing having been discarded in haste, and generally the place looking as if a tornado had recently touched down and done its destructive work.

“Looks like the Grovers have passed through,” said Brutus dryly.

“Impossible,” I said. “They’re just a bunch of little spiders. They couldn’t possibly have caused all of this damage. Could they?”

“The spiders couldn’t,” he agreed. “But the humans panicking and trying to flee from an army of a couple of thousand or even millions of spiders could.”

He was probably right. It was a contingency I hadn’t considered. Humans generally aren’t big fans of spiders. So I could imagine the effect the entire Grover clan would have had on the movie crew. It would have been devastating. Like eight on the Richter scale.

“Well, at least we have our house back,” said Dooley. We walked in to find that inside, the mess was even greater. Almost as if people had dropped whatever they were holding and had bolted for the exit.

Of the Grovers, there was not a single trace, so they had come and gone.

“I hope they’ll be able to continue their gathering in some other place,” I said, experiencing a smidgen of guilt that I had spoiled their big party.

“They were so overcome with emotion after my moving performance that they found a quiet nook to recover,” said Harriet, happy with the impact her singing had had.

And since the place was such a mess, and we couldn’t even find a couch to sleep on, we decided to head next door. Tex and Marge’s place was also fully devoid of any humans, but at least our bowls of kibble were all present and accounted for, and the couches were still where they had always been. And so we had a bite to eat and settled down for a nap.

It had been a long and eventful day, and I felt that we deserved a little downtime.

I must have slept for a couple of hours, for when I opened my eyes the sun was already rising on the horizon. The sound of people stumbling and crashing about had awakened me, and also my friends.

“What’s going on?” asked Dooley as he had trouble opening his eyes.

“No idea,” I said.

And then I saw it: Gran, Tex, and Marge had walked in and were divesting themselves of some items of clothing that looked familiar. And then I had it. They were the clothes they had donned when we had last clapped eyes on them. For Gran, it was the outfit of the old virgin, and for Tex and Marge, the clothes they had worn as dentally challenged peasants. They even had the pitchforks to match their costumes.

When they saw us, they paused at the door for a moment. “You’ll never guess what happened to us,” said Gran.

“You went for a walk?” asked Dooley.

“No walk,” said Gran tersely.

“You had a wrap party?” I suggested.

“No wrap party,” said Gran. “Though it’s true that the shoot is probably finished.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” said Tex. “Clark Timberlake is a resourceful man and quite persistent. It wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t find a way to continue making his movie.”

“We were attacked!” Gran cried. “By giant-ass spiders!”

“Oh, that,” I said, and yawned.

Marge and Gran both stared at me. “So you knew about those spiders and you didn’t warn us?” asked Marge.

“I may have mentioned it,” I said casually. “The Grover family held a gathering in the field behind the house. But since we belatedly remembered that Norm and Norma picked the field as the place to raise their family, we figured we might as well try and shift the Grovers. And so Harriet sang a song, and they were so overcome with emotion that they decided to go and recover in a quiet corner somewhere.”

“You had to be there to appreciate the level of emotion my song provoked,” said Harriet proudly.

“So you sent those spiders crashing our shoot!” said Gran, pointing an accusing finger at us.

“Did they send those spiders?” asked Tex.

“They did,” said Marge as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You shouldn’t have done that. Can you imagine what it feels like to be attacked by a horde of spiders?”

“I’m sure they meant no harm. The Grovers are the nicest spiders in the world.”

“Yeah, they’re not even venomous,” said Harriet. “Grover CLXXXIX told us so himself, and he wouldn’t lie about a thing like that.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Gran as she started stomping up the stairs.

“So where have you guys been all night?” I asked.

“Well, let me see,” said Marge. “First, we ran from the house and we ran and ran until we couldn’t run anymore. Then, when the spiders still kept coming after us and giving chase, we decided to hide out at Town Hall. So we barricaded all the doors and windows, but they still managed to get in, and so we had to find refuge on the roof, where we made our last stand. And then, for some reason, the spiders decided that they’d had enough and retreated. The last time we saw them they were heading for the park.”

“Good,” I said. “Lots of space at the park for their gathering.”

I sincerely hoped they’d enjoyed a nice party.

“Why did the cats send those spiders after us?” asked Tex.

“Beats me,” said Marge. “Something about a fly.”

“I will never understand those cats of yours,” said Tex.

“I thought you were a great peasant, honey.”

“And you,” said Tex.

Our humans decided to call it a night and dragged themselves up the stairs. Moments later we heard some stumbling upstairs, the creaking of beds as our humans climbed in, and soon everything was quiet again.

That’s when we closed our eyes and enjoyed a fine continuation of our slumber.

Cats have to sleep a lot, and all this fuss about spiders had put a dent in my nap time that I hadn’t counted on. Time to make up for it.

CHAPTER 43

We were back in Odelia’s office at the Gazette, with the four of us having slept quite well and generally feeling rested and relaxed. Our humans, not so much. Both Odelia and Chase looked bleary-eyed and had those dark rings under their eyes that humans get sometimes when they haven’t been able to catch enough winks.

“They look tired, Max,” said Dooley. “Why do you think that is?”

“Probably something to do with the fact that they spent all night running from the Grovers,” I said.

“But why? The Grovers are so nice. They probably just wanted to say hi.”

“I think they all overreacted,” said Harriet. “If only they had stopped to exchange a greeting with the Grovers, things would have been different.”

According to Chase, the shoot had been called off, on account of the fact that even the crew that Clark had worked with for years felt that being attacked in their workplace by a horde of spiders was too much. They could stand the zombies, the murderous dogs, the bodies, and the guts and gore, but they couldn’t stand the spiders. And so Clark had decided to find a different location and start anew. The footage he had already shot would be recycled and would find its way into the new flick. That’s how he rolled.

“At least we have our home back,” said Dooley.

“Yes, there’s that,” I said.

“Okay, so what do we have?” asked Odelia as she slurped from her third cup of coffee that morning.

“So far, nothing much,” said Chase. “I’ve asked my colleagues of the Westchester County Police Department to pay a house call to this Genaro Nunn, but I haven’t heard back yet.”

When I had finally managed to find Odelia, I had told her about the secret lover that Laertes had entertained, and she had immediately gone to work trying to locate the man. He could be instrumental in shedding some more light on the life and death of Laertes.

Chase rubbed his eyes. He didn’t look so good either, but at least he’d gotten rid of the monster makeup and the typical garb. All in all, it looked as if the Monster would never get the Wench, but then he didn’t need to, for Chase had already married her, so the happy ending was there.

As they went over some of the details of the investigation, there was a knock at the door and a couple strode in. I recognized the woman as Renita Gawley, and when she introduced the man she was with, it turned out he was her brother Adrian. He was a tall individual and extremely muscular. One of those bodybuilders with all the bulges in all the places.

“I hope I’m not disturbing,” said Renita as she took a seat in front of Odelia’s desk, and so did her brother. “But I just came from the police station, and those weird FBI agents gave me the runaround again. Said that they had no news for me, and even if they did, they wouldn’t tell me. Or at least that’s how I interpreted their words. Not that they spent a lot of time talking to me. More like trying to get rid of me.”

“They weren’t very nice,” growled her brother, who had no neck, I now saw, which was just the strangest thing, since most humans I know all have this vital part of their anatomy.

“No, they most certainly were not,” said Renita. “So I talked to Dolores at the front desk, and she told me to get in touch with you guys. She said you weren’t officially part of the investigation anymore, as those two goons muscled in and took over, but that you were still the best people to talk to when I wanted information. The thing is that I want to bury my fiancé. But they won’t release his body, and when I asked them why, they wouldn’t say.”

“That’s probably because they’re still building a case against Ophelia,” said Odelia. “So far he hasn’t confessed, and all they have on him is circumstantial evidence.”

“Circumstantial or not, he did it. I know in my heart that he murdered Laertes.”

“There’s one new piece of information that has come to light,” said Odelia. “Though we don’t know how it fits into the investigation yet.” She cut a glance to her husband, who nodded. “Does the name Genaro Nunn mean anything to you, Renita?”

Renita frowned, then shook her head. “Can’t say that it does. Why? Who is he?”

“Well, it would appear that your fiancé had been having an affair with this man.”

Renita stared at the reporter. “An affair? With a man? You have got to be kidding me!”

“A reliable witness has informed us that this was indeed the case,” said Chase. “There doesn’t seem to be any doubt that Laertes and this man were an item. They used to meet at the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa for secret trysts, apparently.”

Renita looked at her brother, her brother looked at her, and they both expressed their surprise and dismay.

“I find this very hard to believe,” said Renita finally. “I think I would have noticed if Laertes was gay, wouldn’t you?”

“I never noticed that he was gay,” said Adrian.

“And they used to meet at the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa, you say?”

“That’s right. So now we’re trying to find this man Genaro Nunn to ask him a couple of questions, but so far we haven’t had much luck.”

“I’m shocked,” said Renita. “Absolutely shocked.”

She looked shocked, I thought, and so did her brother, though with him it was a lot harder to read his face, as he had one of those inscrutable faces that didn’t reveal a lot.

“You never noticed anything?” asked Odelia.

“You will probably think I’m stupid,” said Renita. “But no, I never noticed a thing. So what does all this mean?”

“We think that the real reason Ophelia murdered his brother is because Laertes threatened to break off your engagement,” said Odelia.

“Break off our engagement!”

“I’m sorry, Renita,” said Odelia. “But that’s what our source told us. Your fiancé wanted to call off the wedding and get officially involved with Genaro Nunn instead. Only Ophelia didn’t want him to, as your parents were the main shareholders of Ophelae.”

“They still are,” said Renita. “Without my parents, there would be no Ophelae.” She slumped a little. “So you think that’s the only reason Laertes wanted to marry me? Because of my parents’ money?”

“We don’t know that,” said Odelia. “All we know is that Genaro Nunn seems to be at the heart of the conflict between the two brothers, so we really need to talk to him.”

“Well, that’s certainly disappointing,” said Renita. “I won’t lie to you.”

“Extremely disappointing,” Adrian growled as he gave Chase a dirty look, as if he personally held him responsible for this disappointing piece of news.

“We will definitely keep you informed,” said Odelia. “And if you can think of something that might be connected to the case, please let us know.”

“If you find this person, this Genaro Nunn,” said Renita as she got up, “I would like to have a word with him.”

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” said Chase.

“And I think it is. If he tried to steal my Laertes from me…” She choked up and her brother had to dig out a piece of Kleenex so she could hold it to her nose. “He has a lot to answer for, that man. And in fact, my feeling right now is that he’s just as guilty for what happened to Laertes as Ophelia is. So I hope you throw the book at him, detective.”

“I would like to throw the book at him,” the giant grunted, and from the way he bunched his hands into fists, I could tell what kind of book he was referring to. The kind that can do a lot of damage when applied to a person’s cranium.

CHAPTER 44

It wasn’t long after Renita and her brother had left that Chase’s colleagues from Westchester County got back to him. They had paid a house call to Genaro Nunn and found the man absent from his home. According to his neighbors, he’d left early that morning, putting an overnight bag into his car, which suggested he was probably off for another one of his vacations. He seemed to be quite the traveler. Recently retired, he never spent more than a couple of weeks at home before he was off again. Mali, the Seychelles, Thailand—the more exotic, the better. Genaro loved palm trees and white sandy beaches.

Perhaps not the kind of information Chase and Odelia had been looking for, but it certainly painted a certain picture of the man. As they accepted that the bird had flown and probably wouldn’t be back for quite some time from his latest vacation, I got one of those bright ideas that I sometimes get.

“Maybe you should check with the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa,” I said. “If he’s the man Laertes had an affair with, he must have read about his body being found in the papers. So maybe he traveled to Hampton Cove to attend the funeral. And it wouldn’t surprise me if he took the same room he and Laertes used to take, for sentimental reasons.”

“Excellent idea, Max,” said Odelia, and after she had told Chase, the cop agreed that it was definitely worth a shot.

And so ten minutes later, we were en route to the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa, located on the beach. It’s one of those institutions that is extremely popular with celebrities and others who can afford the price of a room there. We were welcomed at reception by Steven Lesinske, who greeted us like long-lost friends, even though we had never actually been there before. But then I guess this is the way a five-star resort treats all of its customers: as if they’re more akin to family than guests. It’s all about delivering value for their money.

“Genaro Nunn? Oh, absolutely,” said the receptionist. “Mr. Nunn is a regular guest. In fact, he’s been coming here for many years. Or at least as long as I’ve been here myself.”

“You wouldn’t remember this person, would you?” asked Chase, showing the man a picture of Laertes on his phone.

The receptionist studied the picture for a moment, then his face cleared. “I do remember him. Wasn’t he a fashion designer or something? At least that’s what he told me at the time. He even invited me up to his room once to take my measurements. Though nothing ever came of it, so I guess he didn’t like what he saw.” He smiled. “I also seem to remember that he and Mr. Nunn were an item. Or at least they always shared a room together.”

“Do you always have such great recollection of your customers?” asked Chase.

The man blushed a little. “Oh, no,” he promised us. “Only for the ones that stand out. And I remember I always looked up to this couple. They seemed so happy together, so in love, you know. So naturally I aspired one day to find the same kind of happiness in love.”

A man approached the reception desk. He was dressed to impress and greeted us with a curt nod. The moment he had disappeared into the area marked as Personnel Only, the receptionist gestured after him with his head. “And somehow, don’t ask me how, I managed to snag that handsome fella you just saw.”

“Well, good for you,” said Chase, though I could tell he was getting a little antsy. All this talk about personal happiness was getting in the way of his investigation. “So where can we find Mr. Nunn?”

“He’ll be down by the pool,” said the receptionist, pointing in the direction of the pool area. “And he’ll be nursing an umbrella drink, because that’s the kind of man he is.”

We headed in the direction indicated and discovered that there were many men with umbrella drinks. So Chase approached one of the waiters and asked which one of these was Genaro Nunn.

“That will be the gentleman over there,” said the waiter, pointing to a smallish man with a nicely shaved head and kind features. He was indeed nursing an umbrella drink and staring off into the distance, though it was hard to be sure as he was wearing sunglasses.

We approached him, and he seemed surprised to see us. He took off the sunglasses, and I saw that not only did he have a kind face but he also had kind eyes.

“Yes, how can I help you?” he asked after Odelia and Chase had introduced themselves.

They both took a seat next to the man, one on either side so he wouldn’t get away before they had asked him all they wanted to know. “I don’t know if you’ve heard,” said Chase, “but a man’s body was found yesterday, buried underneath a building that collapsed.”

“Yes, I’ve read about that in the paper,” he said. “Quite a shocking find. The article said that he had been buried there for fifteen years?”

“That’s right. The man’s name was Laertes Civilian, and according to a reliable source, you and Mr. Civilian were an item for a while.”

The man had been drinking from his umbrella drink and almost choked on the pink liquid. For a while, all he did was cough, possibly buying time while he pondered how to respond to this.

“Well, you are direct,” he told Chase with a touch of peevishness.

“I find that it’s best to get straight to the point.”

“You certainly get to the point, detective,” said Mr. Nunn. “Yes, Laertes and I had a fling for a while. This was a long time ago, though.”

“Fifteen years?” asked Odelia, who can also be direct if she wants to be.

“Something like that,” said the man. “But why do you ask?”

“The thing is, Mr. Civilian was murdered,” said Odelia.

“Yes, I figured as much. A person doesn’t bury himself underneath a building.”

“A man has been arrested in connection to the murder,” said Chase.

“Let me guess. Ophelia Civilian?”

“That’s right. How did you know?”

“It wasn’t hard,” said Mr. Nunn. “I remember that Laertes had pretty heated arguments with his brother on numerous occasions. Mainly over… me! Go figure.”

“Ophelia didn’t approve of your relationship?”

“He most certainly did not. Something about shareholders who would complain and might even sell their shares. It was all very tawdry, I remember, and quite stressful.”

“So what happened?” asked Odelia.

“You’re asking me? How should I know what happened? Somehow or other, Ophelia murdered his brother and buried his body in the foundations of the new headquarters he was building for Ophelae. One moment everything was hunky-dory, apart from the fact that Laertes was getting fed up with his brother. And the next, he disappeared. Vanished into thin air. Poof! He sent me one last message and then I never heard from him again.”

“What was the message?” asked Chase.

“Here, you can read it yourself,” said Mr. Nunn, taking out his phone. “I never deleted it, even though I wanted to many times. It was not the kind of message you want to get when you’re madly in love with a person, I can tell you that.”

He handed over the phone, and Odelia read, “‘I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’ve decided to break up with you. There’s no easy way to say this, so I will make it brief. I don’t love you anymore. These last couple of months I’ve grown to despise you. I think you’re a despicable little toad, Genaro. A cruel and manipulative monster, a disgusting parasite responsible for my downfall. I loathe you. Please don’t contact me again. Ever. Laertes.’”

Chase shook his head. “He broke up with you?”

“Via text! The ultimate humiliation! And the worst part is that I never saw it coming. I thought we had a good thing going. I was even going to propose to him, but then when I got this message, I realized what a fool I had been. All along, he had been growing tired of me and wanted out.”

“When was this?” asked Chase, checking the date on the message.

“It was a Friday evening. I remember it well. I got this vile message just before I left for Hampton Cove. We usually spent our weekends together here at the resort. So I canceled my trip that time. Though in the years since, I’ve picked up the habit of coming out here again from time to time. Call me sentimental, but Laertes was the love of my life. And even though he didn’t want to be with me anymore, that didn’t change the way I felt about him.”

“And you never tried to contact him?”

“Never,” said the man adamantly. “I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a glutton for punishment, detective. If a person tells me they hate me, I’m not going to beg them to take me back. So no, I never tried to contact him again. I did try to find him online, but I soon discovered that he had also quit Ophelae and had disappeared. So I guess I thought he had decided to start a whole new life with another person—and since that person wasn’t me, I was determined not to try and find out who it might be.” He took a long sip from his drink. “Until a couple of weeks ago, when I saw an interview with Ophelia Civilian. They asked him about Laertes’s disappearance, and that’s when I got a bad taste in my mouth.”

“What do you mean?” asked Odelia.

The man swigged his drink. “The reporter asked Ophelia if he knew where his brother was. And he said that he had a pretty good idea. And then he smirked. One of those evil smirks that Ophelia does so extremely well. And that’s when I knew.”

“Knew what?” asked Chase.

He looked up. “That’s when I knew that Ophelia had killed her brother fifteen years ago. And buried him underneath that monstrosity he built in Hampton Cove.”

CHAPTER 45

Mr. Nunn gave us a sad look. “Is it true that Ophelia has been arrested for the murder of his brother?”

“He has been arrested,” Chase confirmed.

The man studied his fingers. “Good. If I had known fifteen years ago what he did…”

Suddenly, an idea occurred to me. “Ask him where he was yesterday morning when Ophelae was bombed,” I told Odelia.

“Where were you yesterday morning between ten and eleven, Mr. Nunn?”

That same sad smile creased his face, and I thought how tired the man looked. “I was standing across the street from Ophelae, waiting for the first bomb to go off. I had spaced the detonations a couple of minutes apart, giving the people in the building ample time to vacate the premises and get to safety before the entire structure collapsed.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Like I said, if only I had known fifteen years ago what Ophelia did, I would have come forward a lot sooner. But I didn’t know. Because Laertes had decided that he didn’t want me in his life anymore. That he didn’t need me in his life. Even though I needed him. But then I guess he must have had his reasons.”

“So… you’re the bomber?” asked Chase.

“Yes, Detective Kingsley, I’m the bomber.”

“But… you’re an ad exec.”

“I was, yes. But before that, I was in the army for a couple of years. I was a demolition expert. And those old skills still linger, as do the connections with my old comrades in arms. It wasn’t hard to source enough TNT to bring down the entire building.”

“But how could you be sure that Laertes was buried underneath Ophelae?” asked Odelia.

“I wasn’t, but thinking logically, I thought there was a chance that he was. And if that was true, he would never be found, unless someone removed the building. Which is exactly what I did.”

“He could have been buried anywhere,” said Chase.

“Unlikely,” said Mr. Nunn. “If he had been buried elsewhere, the chances of his body being found were pretty great. A body in the woods is eventually found by hikers. A body thrown into the ocean washes up to shore. A body shoved up the chimney is found by new tenants. It’s not that easy to permanently get rid of a body. Unless you bury it in the foundations of a new building. I did some research. Laertes sent me his last message on a Friday. The next day, the foundation stone for the new building was laid. Coincidence? I didn’t think so. And I was right, wasn’t I? He was buried exactly where I thought he was.” He tapped his chest. “I could feel it here, detective. I could feel it in my heart.”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to arrest you for the bombing,” said Chase.

“Arrest me, it’s fine,” said the man, waving a careless hand. “I’ve made my peace with spending the final years of my life behind bars. Frankly, life has been pretty tough without Laertes. It may only have been fifteen years, but to me it feels like an eternity.”

And so Chase placed the man under arrest and escorted him off the premises. I had a feeling Agents Smith and Jones wouldn’t be happy, but at least they couldn’t arrest Chase for interfering with their investigation. What else did they expect Chase to do? Let the man walk?

“I think it’s all very sad, Max,” said Dooley. “That poor man loses his boyfriend and then discovers he’s been dead for fifteen years.”

“Yes, it’s not a tale that has a happy ending,” I said.

“I don’t understand why Laertes would break up with his boyfriend, and then his brother would still kill him,” said Brutus. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it certainly doesn’t,” I said. The same thought had occurred to me. “If Laertes went toe to toe with his brother, defending his relationship with Genaro Nunn, even going to the lengths of severing his ties with the company he and Ophelia had built, then why would he suddenly break up with him? Like Brutus says, it makes no sense.”

“Unless…” said Harriet.

“Yes?”

“Unless he didn’t send that message,” she said.

“Bingo,” I said. “I was thinking the exact same thing.”

“Ophelia must have sent that message,” said Brutus. “At the moment he killed Laertes, he sent that message, making sure that Mr. Nunn would never go looking for Laertes.”

“That sounds exactly right. He wanted to get rid of Genaro once and for all. He didn’t want the man’s cloud hanging over his company and the relationship with his majority shareholders. As long as Laertes’s secret was buried along with Laertes himself, Ophelae was safe.”

“What a nasty piece of work,” said Dooley, with feeling.

“Yes, he does strike me as a very calculating and ruthless individual,” I said. “Who would go to any lengths to safeguard the future of his business.”

“And he doesn’t even seem to feel any remorse,” said Harriet.

“Psychopaths don’t feel remorse,” said Brutus. “It’s why they’re psychopaths in the first place. They don’t experience these types of emotions.”

“Well, looks like the case is solved,” said Dooley. “And Max did it again. He found the bomber and the killer!”

“I didn’t find the killer,” I assured him. “It was a team effort.”

“This calls for a celebration,” said Harriet.

“It most certainly does,” said Brutus.

And since Chase and Odelia had left with the prisoner and the car, we decided to look for a bite to eat in the resort’s kitchen. It was a big place and catered to quite a number of guests, so the chances were that we would find a little nugget for the four of us.

As it happened, we didn’t find any food at all. All we found was an angry chef who kicked us out the moment we set paw inside his squeaky clean kitchen. What a drag.

The moment we left the premises, we bumped into a familiar cat: it was Kingman!

“Hey, you guys,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“We could ask you the same thing,” I said.

“Oh, Wilbur is delivering some supplies.” He jerked his paw in the direction of Wilbur’s car, parked nearby. “He’s one of the resort’s main suppliers,” the large cat explained. “Usually, they come to pick up their orders at the store, but they’re understaffed today, and so the chef asked if we could drop it off. So we closed up the shop and drove over.”

“Can we hitch a ride back into town?” asked Brutus. “It’s just that our ride has ditched us.”

“Odelia didn’t ditch us, Brutus,” I said. “She has promised to come and pick us up in her own car as soon as possible.”

“In other words, she ditched us.”

“Of course you can hitch a ride with us,” said Kingman. “In fact, you better hop in now, before Wilbur comes back. He’s in a foul mood today.”

“And why is that?” I asked.

“Oh, something about his brother sending him a message he’s getting married.”

“But that’s great news, isn’t it?”

“You would think so, wouldn’t you? Only Wilbur is pretty old-fashioned, and his brother has announced his intention to marry a ladyboy.”

Dooley stared at the big cat. “What is a ladyboy, Kingman?”

“Well, it’s a boy who is also a lady,” said Kingman.

“Huh,” said Dooley. “A lady who’s a boy. How about that?”

“He met her in Thailand and now he’s fallen in love and wants to marry her.”

“So Wilbur isn’t flying out there for the wedding?” asked Brutus.

We had reached Wilbur’s car and all hopped in as Kingman had indicated. The big cat crawled onto the passenger seat and made himself comfortable. “I don’t think so. He says the family won’t stand for it.”

“Too bad,” I said. “Wilbur only has one brother, so he shouldn’t become estranged. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.”

“He doesn’t care. Wilbur is stubborn. If this causes a rift between them, so be it. He may not look it, but deep down he’s a very emotional person, and he sees this as a personal betrayal by his brother. Especially since Rudolph already had a girlfriend, who’s also a close friend of Wilbur’s. Though I don’t think she and Rudolph are together anymore.”

It reminded me a lot of the conflict between Ophelia and Laertes, and as we settled down in the back seat awaiting Wilbur’s return so he could drive us to town, something occurred to me. It was quite the preposterous idea. Still, it was worth looking into.

CHAPTER 46

Renita was glad to be home again. She enjoyed living in her own apartment, of course, but there was nothing like the family mansion to really feel at ease. She still had her own room there, and so did her brother, even though he also had an apartment in town. Their parents had insisted on it. Something about spreading their wings and learning to fly. The siblings still spent a lot of time at home, and she got the impression that their folks loved it, in spite of all their exhortations about leaving the nest. Moms will be moms.

Today she had a special reason to return home. Mom and Dad had organized a small celebration—just the four of them—and even though she felt it was probably a little premature, she wouldn’t miss it for the world.

The Gawleys were an important and influential family, and Daddy had really made his mark on the local community and especially the business community. He had his finger in a great many pies, and when people used to ask her in school what it was that her daddy did, she always had a lot of trouble answering that. He said he was an investor, but that wasn’t what the other kids wanted to hear. Their daddies were firefighters, or policemen, or butchers, bakers, or whatever. But an investor? What a strange beast!

But considering the sizable personal fortune he had managed to build up, it was safe to assume that all of those other kids now wished that they had a daddy like hers.

She entered the living room and saw that Estella had already placed the hors d’oeuvres on the table, and also the champagne. Adrian stood checking something on his phone, Mom was chatting with a friend on her phone, and Daddy was frowning at his device. In other words: the modern family.

But soon it was time to count their blessings, of which there had always been many, but rarely more than today.

“So is it official?” asked Mom after she had hung up the phone. “Is he going to be charged?”

“It’s official,” she said. “I got the call shortly after we both went to pay a visit to the Kingsleys, who are part of the investigative team that’s been looking into the death of Laertes, and they said that Ophelia will be arraigned first thing tomorrow. And considering the charges, he’ll probably be sent down.” She held up her glass. “It’s happening, you guys. Ophelia is going down for the murder of his brother!”

“Great job,” said Dad as he raised his own glass of bubbly.

They clinked glasses, and Mom asked, “Have they tracked down the bomber yet?”

“That’s the best part,” said Renita. “Adrian, maybe you should tell them.”

“What’s the best part?” asked Mom.

“The bomber has also been arrested,” said Adrian, his face displaying a triumphant smile. “You’re not going to believe this, but it was none other than Genaro Nunn himself!”

“The man Laertes was going to marry?” asked Dad. “But I thought he was some kind of ad exec, just like Laertes?”

“He was, but before he launched an ad firm, he spent a couple of years in the army as a demolition expert. He still had a lot of his old contacts, so one day he decided, quite out of the blue, that Laertes must be buried underneath Ophelae.”

“And so he blew up the building?” said Mom. “How extraordinary. He must be out of his mind!”

“He saw Ophelia on television being interviewed,” said Renita. “And he says he got this gut feeling that he had killed Laertes and buried him in the foundations of the building.”

“Well, there is a certain logic to the madness,” said Adrian. “The Civilian brothers were building that new monstrosity of theirs at the time. So it made sense in a way.”

“How extraordinary,” Mom repeated. She fixed Adrian with a penetrating look. “Are you sure you left no traces on that body, sweetheart? You know what the police can do with DNA nowadays.”

“We didn’t leave any traces, Mom,” he assured their mother.

“No fingerprints?”

“Nothing,” Adrian said. “I’m not stupid, Mom. I wore gloves the entire time and I got rid of my clothes the moment we buried that body.”

“Good,” said Mom. “I wouldn’t want this to come back and bite us in the ass.”

“It won’t,” said Adrian. “They’ve arrested Ophelia for the murder and Genaro Nunn for the bombing. So it’s finished. We can rest easy now.”

“I was resting quite easy all these years,” said Mom. “Knowing that Laertes was nicely tucked away under tons and tons of concrete, where he would never be found. And then all of a sudden this strange man pops up and brings down the entire building! It was quite a shock to me when you told me that they had found the body, darling.”

“I know, Mom,” said Renita. “Imagine the shock when those cops showed up on my doorstep and started asking me all kinds of questions. Though I think I fooled them.”

“Of course you did,” said Dad. “My girl is an ace. You both are,” he hastened to add. “Though I’m still not sure it was advisable to get rid of Laertes.”

“It had to be done, Daddy,” said Mom. “No man cheats on our girl. And thank God Adrian was prepared to step up and do the right thing.”

“It wasn’t hard,” said Adrian. “He didn’t even struggle. One tap on the head and he was out for the count, the pussy.”

“He was a weakling,” said Renita viciously. Even after all these years, she still hated Laertes’s guts. How dare he cheat on her with that loser Genaro Nunn? And call off the wedding? It hadn’t been hard to convince Adrian to get rid of the man. Her fiancé had traveled to the chalet to reflect on his future. She had waited outside while Adrian did what needed to be done, and then she helped him put the body in the trunk of their car. Once they arrived back in Hampton Cove, they dragged it out and buried it on the construction site for the new Ophelae office tower. Adrian had asked around and knew that the next day they’d lay the foundation stone, so the body of her treacherous fiancé would never be found.

Until that awful Genaro Nunn got it into his head that he had to bomb the building. At the time, she had considered getting rid of him also, but Adrian had talked her out of it. Too risky. And so they had let him live. But she had sent him that final message from Laertes’s phone, breaking up with him. Teach him a lesson he’d never forget. They’d never heard from him again, until now.

As she took a sip from her champagne, Serena came hurrying into the room. “Madam, sir,” she said. “The police are here.”

Renita rolled her eyes. “Oh, not again. When are they going to leave us alone?”

“They probably want to inform us officially that Ophelia will be charged with the murder of his brother,” her dad assured her.

But moments later, the police charged into the room, and much to Renita’s surprise, they arrested her!

“What are you doing!” she demanded heatedly.

“This is an outrage,” said Daddy, already picking up the phone to call his lawyer. “I’ll have your badges for this—all of you!” he warned.

But then the Kingsleys walked in, and Odelia held up her phone. Moments later, Renita was listening to her own voice as she explained in great detail how she and Adrian had murdered Laertes.

“You bugged me!” she cried. “You can’t do that!”

“We can, and we did,” said Detective Kingsley, looking smug.

The two FBI agents stood to one side and let it all happen, the idiots. But when the discussion grew more heated, they both stepped forward, and one of them—she wasn’t sure whether it was Agent Smith or Jones—said, “We had probable cause, and you’ve just admitted to murder. So the arrest is valid, and you know it. Now you better come with us, Miss Gawley. And you, too, Mr. Gawley. This is the end of the line for you two.”

“I’ll get you out, honey,” said her daddy as they led her and Adrian away. “I’ll get you both out. Just you wait and see. And these policemen will pay for it with their careers.”

She didn’t doubt it. But then why did she feel as if her life was over? Probably because she had confessed and the police had heard everything. How stupid could she be?

As she and Adrian were escorted to a waiting police car, she saw that Odelia’s cats were also present and accounted for. As she stared at them, the fat red one stared right back at her. For some reason, she thought he knew exactly what was going on. Which was impossible, of course.

CHAPTER 47

Afamily feast had been arranged by the Pooles, and the whole clan had gathered in the backyard. We could have used our own backyard, but the movie people’s shenanigans still hadn’t been fully cleared out, so our home was still a little uninhabitable.

We had received word that the movie had been shelved, so the footage of ourselves being massacred by Susie, or Odelia and Chase’s love scene, or even Uncle Alec crawling out of his grave with the assistance of Charlene, would never see the light of day. In a sense, that was a pity but also a relief. It’s not a lot of fun to see yourself being mangled on the big screen, though of course movie actors have to suffer this indignity all the time.

“I think you did a great job, Max,” said Brutus. “How did you know that Renita and her brother killed Laertes?”

“It was Wilbur’s brother who gave me the idea.”

“With the ladybug?” asked Dooley.

“Ladyboy,” I corrected him. “Yes. Wilbur’s family was upset that Rudolph would get involved with a ladyboy, and it got me thinking that it wasn’t just Ophelia who disapproved of his brother breaking off the engagement. His objection was of a financial and practical nature. But how much worse must Renita have taken it? She was engaged to be married to the man. So what if she knew about Laertes and Genaro? Murdering a man by strangulation is such a violent crime. There’s a proximity to it, a real hatred behind the violence, and Ophelia didn’t hate his brother. He was upset with him, sure. But mostly for the sake of the company. But this crime was so violent that it struck me that perhaps there was another person who could possibly have had a motive to murder the man.”

“How did she find out about Laertes and Genaro?” asked Brutus.

“I think Laertes told her. He wanted to make a clean break, so he first told his brother, and then he called off the engagement and told Renita he was in love with another person.”

“She didn’t take it well,” said Harriet.

“That’s quite the understatement,” I said. “She told her brother, and together they decided they couldn’t let Laertes get away with this. Not just because there wouldn’t be a wedding, but also because of the scandal that would erupt. People in the Gawley family’s circles would dine out on this for months, maybe years, and they couldn’t have that.”

“So Laertes had to die.”

“Exactly.”

“Do you think the parents were in on it?” asked Brutus.

“I believe so. But they’ll never admit it, of course. I think they all knew, and it was quickly decided that Adrian was the one who was going to have to do the dirty work, and Renita was going to assist him in getting rid of the body. She also sent that final text to Genaro, and then removed his SIM card and destroyed it, along with the phone. The FBI managed to trace both Adrian and Renita’s phones to the area where Laertes was last seen.”

“Why didn’t they investigate his disappearance sooner?” asked Harriet.

“Because everyone assumed that Laertes had left of his own accord.”

“The Gawleys must have been pretty upset when they heard that the building that was built on top of her former fiancé’s body had been demolished,” said Brutus.

“Yes, I think they had a moment of panic when they heard the news. But then they quickly rallied and decided to stick to the story they had concocted all those years ago.”

“How did they manage to dig up Laertes’s body?” asked Harriet. “Because I assume that was them, right?”

“Yes, it was them,” I confirmed. “Just to be on the safe side Adrian had decided to keep a close eye on the bomb site, just to make sure no one accidentally stumbled on the body that he and his sister had buried there. Which is how he happened to be there when Chase and Odelia got busy with their digger. The moment they left, he got to work and removed the evidence of his crime, then dumped it in that dumpster where we found it.”

“Why didn’t he put it where it would never be found?”

“That’s where Renita came in. She’s a lot smarter than her brother. When he told her he had dug up the body, she went ballistic and told him to put it right back.”

“She wanted to make sure that Ophelia took the blame,” said Brutus.

“Exactly. If they played their cards right, Ophelia would go down for the murder, and they’d never have to worry about the consequences of their crime ever again. But by the time Adrian returned with the body, he discovered that Chase and Odelia had also returned, and so for a moment he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t put the body back in the ground, as its absence had been discovered, so he dumped it at the strip mall.”

“The Gawleys almost got away with it,” said Harriet.

“But they hadn’t counted on Max,” said Dooley.

“Just putting two and two together, as usual,” I said.

Agents Smith and Jones had left again, but not before apologizing to Odelia and Chase for taking them off the case. They had claimed it was simply a procedural matter and nothing personal, but Chase seemed to think differently. However, as the case had been closed to everyone’s satisfaction, that was all water under the bridge now.

“At least the movie is done with,” said Brutus. “And the Grover gathering also. Things are finally getting back to normal—as they should be.”

Like most cats, Brutus likes things to be just so and hates all of these disruptions of the status quo. And I had to admit it was a relaxing thought that the movie crew had left and so had the Grover clan. Soon we’d be able to return home, and things would be as before.

Tex had been cooking up a storm, and before long, our nuggets of delicious meats were deposited in front of us and we all tucked in with some relish. And as I gobbled up the last piece, suddenly I became aware of a small spider dangling down from the porch rafters. And then another one, and another one. And when I looked up, I saw that the entire side of the house was full of spiders, crawling all over it.

Our humans must have noticed the same phenomenon, for they all got up from their chairs, as spiders were now crawling all over the lawn, the table, the chairs—they were everywhere all at once!

“Yikes!” said Gran, and I think she voiced the sentiments of the majority of those present.

“Hey, Max,” said a familiar voice in my ear. I jerked my head around and saw that it was Grover CLXXXIX. “We were at the park, but we didn’t like it very much,” he said, and his voice took on an apologetic tone. “So we figured that we might as well take advantage of your hospitality and hold the annual Grover gathering right here.”

“But, but, but,” I sputtered.

“Out in that field, there is this weird cat that sings at the top of her lungs. It’s quite scary, you know. She reminds me of a fire engine, and frankly, I didn’t like it one bit. And in the park, there are so many cats. I mean, one cat is fine, or even a few, but there are dozens and dozens of them, and plenty of other inhabitants who don’t take kindly to us organizing our feast. So that’s why we had to come back here. Back home, so to speak. Thanks, Max.”

“Yes, thanks, Max!” said one of the other Grovers. It could have been Grover CLXXXV or CLXXXVI or any of them. In the end, they all expressed their thanks and then started gathering near the rose bushes en masse.

“Oh, dear,” I said.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, suddenly an entire film crew descended upon the scene. It was Clark Timberlake and his assistant director Cortney and assorted movie people. He was holding up his camera and filming our family gathering.

“Hey, Poole family,” he shouted. “We’re back!”

“But… what are you doing here?” asked Tex.

“I thought you guys had left?” said Gran, who seemed surprised but not unpleasantly so. She never did get to play her role as the Virgin.

“We decided to give it one more shot,” said Clark. “We were already on our way home, but then I remembered that Vesta here was so kind to offer up her home as a backup in case something went wrong next door.” He smiled at the old lady. “I’m taking you up on your offer, Mrs. Muffin. The movie is a go! So you better start getting ready. You, too, Odelia and Chase. The Monster is still insatiably lusting after his Wench. And Charlene, you’re not done assisting the Creator in trying to return from the dead, you hear. And Tex and Marge, we need those spiteful peasants and we need them now!” He clapped his hands. “Chop chop, people! We’ve got a movie to make so let’s get to it!”

Susie had come walking up to us and gave us a grin. “Hey, you guys. So are you excited? I’m excited.”

He didn’t look excited, but then that was the way he was, of course.

“You’re not… going to try and murder us again, are you?” asked Dooley.

“Oh, no,” said Susie. “Those scenes are in the can, little fella. Clark doesn’t believe in doing too many takes. Mostly it’s one and done, though sometimes he makes an exception. But your scenes were perfect, so you can lay back and relax.”

Something told me that the last thing we were going to do was lay back and relax.

“What about the spiders?” asked Harriet. “You know they’re here for their gathering, right? They won’t like it that you’re trampling all over the backyard.”

“Clark will work them right in,” said Susie. “He shot a lot of footage last night when they washed over us like a tidal wave. He said he’d never seen anything like it. No CGI necessary. All live and all real. So he’s going to put them in the movie and give them a major part. The story is that the Monster and the Wench are in love, the Villagers are trying to get rid of the Monster, the Creator is trying to destroy the Monster, and the spiders all work for the Creator. All this time spent in the ground has made him their master. And so now he commands them and he will try to use his Spider Army to destroy the Monster.”

“So… Chase will have a lot of scenes with the spiders?” I asked.

“And Odelia, and all of your humans, basically. The final scene of the movie will be a big battle scene between the Spider Army and your humans. Pretty cool stuff.”

“But you’re not going to hurt those poor Grovers, are you?” asked Dooley.

“Oh, absolutely not,” said Susie. “No animals will be harmed in the production of this movie. And that applies to spiders also. Trust me. This is all in accordance with the American Humane Society.”

“Okay,” said Dooley, much reassured. “I guess that means the movie is a go, Susie.” He smiled. “Can I say it, Max?”

“Go ahead, Dooley.”

And so Dooley raised himself up to his full height and shouted, “Aaaand… ACTION!!!”

THE END

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EXCERPT FROM PURRFECT SHARK (MAX 91)

Chapter One

Kimmy and Kitty Davis were most definitely NOT having a good time. In fact, what they were living through was probably the WORST time ANYONE could have—EVER! The twins had been lured into babysitting duties at the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa by their mom, who pretty much ran the resort with her sisters and Grandma, as a way to make a little money during the summer holidays. Though secretly, Kimmy suspected Mom simply wanted to keep them close so she could keep an eye on them.

Originally, they were supposed to travel to Europe with their dad and his new girlfriend, but since they hated the woman, they hadn’t been keen. And so when Mom suggested they spend the summer at the resort, they had jumped at the chance. They got to stay at the big house with Grandma Bea, which was always fun, and had pretty much hoped to spend a leisurely and relaxing time lounging around at the pool, meeting boys, and partying every night, all night. Instead, Mom and Auntie Grace, who was the general manager of the resort, had them on babysitting duties and animator-slash-entertainer for the older kids, a job they pretty much HATED! Those kids were BRUTAL! In fact, the only one who hadn’t made their lives miserable was a little girl named Grace Kingsley.

Grace’s grandparents were staying at the resort and also her great-grandmother, who was a real pistol. Kimmy had met the family and had to say that she liked Marge Poole the best, and also her husband Doctor Poole. The couple had won a competition and the prize was a two-week stay at the resort. The funny thing was that they actually lived in Hampton Cove, so they were already familiar with the resort. In fact, Kimmy had been to see Doctor Poole once upon a time when she was suffering from persistent stomach pains, and he had been so nice to her—not like the doctors she had met during her time at university this past year. She and her twin sister Kitty were sharing a dorm room, even though they had different majors. They had been inseparable since birth, and even now that they were going to uni they were still inseparable.

“I really wish Mom would change her mind,” she told her sister as they took a break from their grueling schedule. The kids were playing in the pool and even though they should be keeping them busy with games and whatnot, they did NOT have the ENERGY!

“She shouldn’t have done this to us,” Kitty agreed. “She shouldn’t have tricked us into this lousy job.”

“Even the pay is lousy.”

“I don’t care about the pay. I care about my mental health,” said Kitty. “If this keeps up much longer, I’m not going to survive, I can tell you that right now!”

“You’re right. This is child abuse and we should probably sue Mom. Take her to court.”

“They’ll side with her. Judges ALWAYS side with the parents. It’s SO not fair!”

Kimmy closed her eyes for a moment. Lying on the chaise lounge was all she was capable of right now, and she was glad for the respite. “I think we should tell Dad.”

“Tell him what, exactly?”

“That Mom tricked us! And then he can talk to her and…”

“And what? Do you really think Mom will listen to Dad, of all people?”

Their parents had recently split up, after Dad had decided that he wanted to be a rock star. It hadn’t gone well, and in the end he had to abandon his crazy dream and find himself another job since he had left the well-paying one he had to move to Nashville. What he hadn’t counted on was that he didn’t have one ounce of talent. He couldn’t sing, he couldn’t play an instrument—nothing. He figured most rock stars didn’t play an instrument either, and that you didn’t have to be able to sing to make a career as a singer. It was the most ridiculous thing, and Mom hadn’t taken kindly to Dad’s midlife crisis. Since the big crisis in their marriage, Dad had come to his senses and had begged Mom to take him back, but Mom had been implacable and so now the couple’s divorce was final, and both parents had gone their separate ways, with Mom dating an architect and Dad dating a woman ten years his junior who also had dreams of being something—the girls didn’t know what exactly, but if you heard her explain, she was going to make it big.

Well, good for her. As long as she didn’t bother them with it, it was fine with the girls.

“Will you look at that,” said Kitty.

Kimmy opened her eyes. “What?”

“It’s Grace’s crazy great-grandmother. She and that funny-looking friend of hers.”

Kimmy glanced in the direction her sister was pointing and saw that Vesta Muffin and her friend Scarlett Canyon had dressed to impress, Scarlett with a skimpy bikini that didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, and her friend in the kind of bathing suit that used to be popular in the nineteenth century. It didn’t show one inch of skin and covered the woman from head to toe. She looked like a penguin. Kimmy grinned. “We should take a picture. Add it to our Insta.”

She and Kitty had started an Insta chronicling their summer from hell, with pictures of all the amazing things they encountered at the resort. Their mom had told them they couldn’t post pictures of people without their permission, but that hadn’t stopped the girls from going ahead and doing exactly that.

“This is too cool,” said Kitty as she discreetly snapped a couple of pictures of the strange pair. “I can’t believe they’re friends. They’re so different.”

“They’re the exact same age,” said Kimmy. “Can you believe it?”

“If I were allergic to the sun, like Grace’s great-grandma is, I’d simply stay inside.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” said Kimmy with a grin as she snapped a couple more pictures and added a video to the mix.

At least they’d have plenty of hits on their Insta if they kept this up. Behind the two old ladies, a very large man came waddling past. He was so red in the face that he looked ready to explode, and Kimmy winced. “Ouch,” she said.

Grace came climbing out of the pool and hurried up to them and jumped straight onto the chaise lounge, splashing Kimmy with water from the pool. “Kimmy!” she yelled as she slung her arms around Kimmy’s neck.

“Grace!” she yelled back as she hugged the little girl. “Where’s your grandpa and grandma?”

Grace pointed to the other side of the pool, where Doctor Poole and his wife were enjoying a leisurely time in the shade of a large umbrella. They weren’t taking any chances and had been very diligent in applying sunblock every hour, on the hour, and extending the courtesy to their granddaughter—a wise practice.

“Timmy splashed me,” Grace complained.

“Did he now?” said Kimmy, as she sought out the annoying little brat. Ever since Grace had arrived at the resort, the kid, who was a year older than she was, had singled her out for a campaign of harassment akin to bullying. And in spite of numerous warnings from both Kimmy and Kitty, he seemed determined to keep it up until his vacation was over.

“I’ll talk to him again, all right,” she promised the little girl.

Grace nodded. “He’s not nice!”

“No, he certainly isn’t,” said Kimmy.

“He says I look like a jellyfish.”

“Where does he get that idea?”

Grace shrugged and held up her hands in an exaggerated fashion. “I don’t know,” she said in that comical way of hers.

“If he keeps this up, I’ll have to talk to his parents,” said Kimmy. “And remove him from the group. He won’t like that.”

Grace shook her head. “He’s the leader of the group. And I’m his slave,” she said. “But I don’t want to be Timmy’s slave!”

“Poor girl,” said Kimmy. “Who wants to be anybody’s slave?”

“Not me!”

“Why don’t we talk to him now,” Kimmy suggested.

Grace nodded. “Tell him I’m not his slave?”

“I’ll tell him that and a lot more,” said Kimmy, determined to put an end to this nonsense once and for all.

And so she took the little girl’s hand and together they walked to the edge of the pool. She saw Timmy the Menace lording it over a small group of kids, acting all tough and in charge. But when he saw Kimmy standing there with Grace, he piped down quickly. She hooked her finger and told him to get out of the pool. Meekly, he swam over.

“Did you tell Grace that she is your slave?” she asked.

“I did not!” he said.

“You did too!” said Grace.

“And did you tell her that she looks like a jellyfish?”

“Well, she does look like a jellyfish,” said Timmy. “In that bathing suit of hers. It’s blue and purple, just like a jellyfish.”

“Listen here, Timmy,” said Kimmy as she crouched down, “you can’t say these things, all right? And you can’t tell anyone that they’re your slave. So are you going to behave from now on, or do you want me to tell your mom and dad?”

The kid got a sort of mutinous look on his face that she knew all too well. “I never said that she is my slave,” he insisted.

“You did!” said Grace. “You said I’m your slave and I should do what you tell me to and that if I don’t do what you tell me to you’re going to punish me by turning me from a jellyfish into a toad!”

He shrugged. “Says you.”

“It’s true!” A triumphant smile came over the little girl’s face. “I’ve got witnesses.”

“Oh, yeah? Who?”

Grace pointed to a pair of cats who were sitting in the shade of the umbrella protecting Grace’s grandparents from the blazing sun. “They saw the whole thing!”

Timmy looked incredulous. “They’re cats!”

“So? They’ll back me up.”

“Okay, look here,” said Kimmy, who was getting tired of this argument. “If you don’t stop harassing Grace, I’m going to talk to your parents, and you won’t be part of this group anymore. Is that understood?”

Timmy looked disappointed. “But I don’t want to be kicked out of the group!”

“Then see that you behave from now on.”

He nodded unhappily. “Oh, all right.”

“So what do we say?” Kimmy prompted.

The kid grimaced, as if he was being put through the most horrible torment.

“Timmy?”

“I’m sorry, all right?” he said. “I’m sorry I called you a jellyfish.”

“I’m not a jellyfish,” Grace insisted.

“Can I go now?” asked Timmy.

“Yes, but don’t make me have to talk to you again.”

He shook his head and let himself fall back into the water with a big splash. Moments later, he was playing again with an energy and zest for the game that made Kimmy feel tired simply from watching.

“Thank you, Kimmy,” said Grace as she gripped her hand tightly and gave it a vigorous shake.

“You’re very welcome, Gracey,” she said. “And if he does it again, you come to me immediately, all right? This was his final warning.”

She watched as Grace hurried around the pool and jumped up onto her grandmother’s chaise lounge, knocking the thick novel Marge had been reading from her grip. “I’m not a jellyfish!” she yelled, causing Marge to give Kimmy a look of bewilderment.

As Kimmy returned to her own chaise lounge, she saw from the corner of her eye that her mom had exited the resort and was on her way over. And so she sighed deeply, made eye contact with her sister, and the two girls took up their position in the pool to do more of that entertaining and monitoring they had been hired to do.

God. This was going to be one LOOOOOONG summer!!!!!!

Chapter Two

Vesta had watched the altercation between her great-granddaughter Grace and this annoying little punk with a kindling eye. If it was up to her, she would have dragged that little brat out of the pool and given his buttocks a good thrashing, but since her daughter had told her not to get involved, she couldn’t, so she simply simmered. According to Marge, the two girls the resort had hired as monitors had the whole situation well in hand, though Vesta had her doubts about that. Those girls looked like teenagers themselves and seemed to prefer lounging around the pool instead of getting into the weeds with the group of kids they were supposed to be entertaining. But what did she know?

“Those twins are laughing at us,” Scarlett informed her. “I just know they are. Every time they see us, they can’t stop giggling like crazy and snapping pictures of us.”

“So what?” said Vesta. “Let them laugh all they want. Wait till they’re our age. Let’s see if they will still be laughing.”

“It’s this bikini,” said Scarlett as she inspected the tiny piece of fabric that barely managed to contain her ample assets. “I know I shouldn’t have believed Ira when she told me it’s the latest in fashion.”

“What does Ira know about fashion?” she said. “Have you seen the way she dresses? If that’s the latest fashion, my name is Kim Kardashian, and it’s not, so it isn’t.”

“At least it’s getting me a lot of attention from Sylvester,” said Scarlett.

Sylvester McCade was the yoga teacher, and since he was the hottest male at the resort, they both immediately had fallen for the man. Unfortunately he seemed impervious to their charms.

“I think Sylvester’s taken,” she informed her friend. “By one of those twins over there.”

Scarlett made a face. “What do these girls have that I don’t?” she complained.

“Youth, for one thing.” It was always the same thing, wasn’t it? No matter how old they were, men always preferred youth. But then she had long ago given up on males. It was better that way. Better for her peace of mind, and her friendship with Scarlett.

“I think Sylvester is a fool,” Scarlett grumbled. “Hot as hell, but a darn fool.”

“I just hope that kid won’t bully Grace anymore,” she said as she cut a dirty look at Timmy Cooper. He had received a good talking-to from Kimmy, though it could have been Kitty, as the two girls looked so much alike it was impossible to keep them apart.

“He won’t bother her anymore,” said Scarlett. “I just heard Kimmy tell him that if he doesn’t behave, she will kick him out of the group and also tell his parents.”

“Mh. Kids like that need more than idle threats to change their ways,” she said. “They need a lesson that can only be applied with a flat hand to a receptive bottom.”

“Vesta!” said Scarlett with a laugh. “Corporal punishment went out of style years ago, or haven’t you been told?”

“Too bad,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind corporally punishing that horrible little punk to within an inch of his life.”

“Well, don’t,” said Scarlett. “We have more important things to do.”

They watched as their friend Denice Sutt came walking up, a pep in her step, carrying that oversized beach bag she always liked to lug around. They had met Denice only a couple of days ago and already Vesta felt as if they’d known the woman all their lives. Which is why they had pretty much from the get-go confided in her about the important mission they had embarked upon at the resort. And since Denice was alone there and seemed bored out of her skull, she had asked if she could assist them in their inquiries.

“So what’s new?” asked Denice as she took the third chaise lounge and spread her bony frame with relish.

“Nothing new,” said Scarlett.

“No more thieving?” asked Denice, and almost seemed disappointed.

When resort management had asked Vesta’s son Alec if he could look into a spate of thefts at the resort, he had unfortunately been forced to decline, citing lack of manpower. But then he’d had a most original solution to the problem that the Wheeler family, who owned the resort, were faced with: a sneak thief who had been robbing their guests at every possible opportunity. And so he had suggested that the neighborhood watch make themselves useful by going undercover at the resort and catching this nasty crook.

Grace Wheeler had agreed, and had offered them the full package: a room all to their own, three meals a day at the popular restaurant, and all they had to do was mingle with the guests and find out who could possibly be targeting the resort’s upscale clientele.

In other words: the best assignment ever, and they had Alec to thank for it.

As luck would have it, Vesta’s daughter Marge and Marge’s husband Tex had won a two-week stay at the resort, all expenses paid, so it was like a family gathering. And now that they had Denice on their team, who was a veteran of staying at the resort, it wouldn’t be long before they caught the culprit. Though as Scarlett had told Vesta, hopefully they wouldn’t catch him too soon. Not before they had taken full advantage of all the amenities the resort had to offer its discerning guests, of which there were many this season.

“You know what we should have done?” said Scarlett. “We should have told Sylvester McCade that we’re wealthy widows. I’m sure it would have made all the difference.”

“Who’s a healthy widow?” asked Denice, who was a little hard of hearing.

“We should have told Sylvester that we are wealthy widows,” said Scarlett, raising her voice, but not too much, lest the hot yoga teacher overheard them talking about him. “Then maybe he would have shown more interest in getting acquainted with us.”

Understanding dawned on Denice’s face. “He’s your fancy man, isn’t he?”

“I wish!” said Scarlett. “There’s too much competition, Denice.”

Pretty much all of Sylvester’s pupils were middle-aged or old ladies, and all of them were more interested in watching the man contort his most gorgeous physique into all kinds of strange positions than in actually learning yoga, a sport Vesta didn’t know why it was so popular, as it was utterly and completely pointless, not to mention mind-numbingly boring. In fact, it was so boring she had trouble staying awake through most of the movements. If it hadn’t been for Sylvester, she would have given up after the first day.

Grace Wheeler had told them to infiltrate as many groups as possible, so they might catch the thief, but so far they hadn’t had any luck. Even Denice, who had been coming to the resort for twenty-five years or more, said she was stumped.

The thief always used the same modus operandi. He broke into the rooms of his victims while they were spending time at the pool or on the beach, and absconded with money, jewelry, watches, or phones—anything that he could find that might be of value. So far this season five people had reported being robbed, and if this kept up news might spread that the resort couldn’t protect its guests from this persistent and pernicious thief.

“We probably should be patrolling the rooms again,” said Scarlett after she had applied lipstick to her lips and checked her appearance in the compact she always carried with her.

Vesta sighed. It was one aspect of the job she didn’t like: at all hours of the day and night they were forced to patrol the area where the rooms were located, making sure no funny business was taking place. She had that much in common with Kimmy and Kitty that she’d much rather lie back on her lounger, close her eyes, and let sleep take over.

But since she was a conscientious person, and they were there to do a job, she dragged herself up from the chaise lounge and followed her two accomplices as they set foot into the resort proper to do another tour of the building. The resort had security, of course, and also cameras that covered every nook and cranny, but so far the thief had proven more clever than any security measures management had been able to come up with.

Whoever this thief was, he was definitely a formidable foe, and frankly, Vesta was starting to get really curious to discover who it might be. Her money was on a young man who was limber enough to slither along the roof and slip into the rooms through the windows and then out again—unseen and unnoticed by anyone.

In other words: a cat burglar. Young, craven and absolutely brazen.

Which is why they had agreed with Bea Wheeler that they probably should take up vigilance at night and move their operation to the roof, where the sneak thief preyed on his targets. Now if only she could get enough sleep to last through a night...

Chapter Three

When Odelia had suggested that we assist Gran and Scarlett with their investigation at the resort, my first inclination had been to respectfully decline. After all, a beach resort is no place for a self-respecting cat, what with all the water and the sand and all of that—but then Odelia had insisted and said it was very important that the watch have eyes and ears all over the resort so we could catch the thief. And so we had decided we couldn’t say no.

Which is how we came to be lounging underneath a pair of chaise lounges occupied by Marge and Tex. It’s not just the sun I object to, considering it’s probably not a good idea for any cat to bask in those lethal death rays it projects, but also the presence of so many people all traipsing about, not to mention plenty of kids with water pistols and a penchant for spraying unsuspecting people—and cats—with chlorinated water from the pool.

I don’t know what it is about a resort that brings out the worst in people, but it does. All around us there was yelling and screaming and people jumping into the water and splashing about as if their lives depended on it. It certainly wasn’t the kind of place I would have selected for a relaxing vacation, but Marge and Tex seemed to like it, and so did Grace, and even Gran and Scarlett, even though they were supposed to be on the job.

“Is it just me or are Scarlett and Gran spending way too much time by the pool?” asked Harriet, who had noticed the same phenomenon.

“They should be out there looking for this thief,” Brutus grumbled. Like the rest of us, he hated the heat and the noise and the pungent all-pervasive smell of sunblock SPF 50.

“I’m sure they have a strategy,” said Dooley. “Knowing Gran, she will have this all worked out, and it’s only a matter of time before she catches this horrible thief.”

“And I think that she wants to drag this out as much as she can,” said Harriet. “After all, the longer it takes to catch this person, the more time they can spend at this five-star resort, all expenses paid.”

“Too bad Odelia and Chase didn’t win a two-week vacation here,” said Dooley. “Otherwise the whole family would have been together.”

“And I hope it won’t take much longer to catch this thief,” I said. “Frankly I’m tired of having to watch kids play in the pool, and bully Grace.”

It had been a distressing aspect of our stay at the resort that Grace, our human’s daughter, had met her foe in the form of a buck-toothed kid named Timmy Cooper. He seemed to have selected her as the victim of a power game and had called her names no little girl likes to be called: lizard brain, slug head, frog turd were some of the nicer ones. It certainly wasn’t what Grace had expected when she joined her grandparents for this vacation. The monitors, a pair of twins named Kimmy and Kitty, had been firm with Timmy, but not firm enough. The moment their backs were turned, the whole thing started again, and I, for one, didn’t like it one bit. Normally, Grace was quite capable of taking care of herself, but this kid was a head taller than she was, and she wasn’t equipped to deal with him.

We had already told Marge, and she had been keeping an eye on things, but short of physically removing Timmy from the equation—‘whack him,’ as Gran had suggested with her usual subtlety—there wasn’t a lot even she could do. She had tried to inform the kid’s parents, hoping to burden them with the responsibility of restraining the miniature bully, but it would appear they were nowhere to be found, having left their son to the twins, who weren’t all that interested in running a tight ship.

“They’re leaving,” said Dooley, gesturing in the direction of Gran and Scarlett, who had just gotten up from their chaise lounges and were heading indoors. They were accompanied by a third old lady they had made the acquaintance of only days ago. Denice Sutt had quickly become part of the troupe, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if Gran was going to formally invite the woman to join the watch. Denice was a veteran resort visitor and knew the lay of the land. In other words, if anyone could offer some practical advice to catch this thief in the act, it was her.

“We should probably follow them,” said Harriet with a yawn. Even though we had found a spot in the shade, the heat had caused the four of us to experience a debilitating sense of drowsiness, and even though duty called, I was reluctant to heed its message.

In the end, we decided it was probably cooler inside, and so we trotted off after Gran and her co-watch members, hoping to be instrumental in catching the dastardly thief.

We followed the three ladies into the resort and through the restaurant, where a couple of happy souls were ordering cocktails before they headed out again to enjoy their poolside experience. Before long, we were traversing the corridors of the resort, where the inmates had been put for their allocated time. It was a tedious job, but someone had to do it. According to the security person at the resort, most of the thefts occurred either during the daytime, when the residents were at the pool or the beach and their rooms were empty, or at night, with the brazen thief sneaking in and absconding with the guests’ personal items while they slept. Talk about taking a huge chance. But then this thief had all the hallmarks of a master criminal and had been at this game for weeks. All in all, it was a miracle that he hadn’t been caught yet, in spite of the vigilance and the concerted efforts of resort management, which rested in the hands of the Wheeler family: Bea Wheeler and her three daughters Lauren, Jill, and Grace, who ran the place together.

“There has to be a better way to go about this,” Scarlett lamented. She had wrapped herself in a fleecy sundress, and with her oversized sunglasses looked the perfect tourist.

Gran, who had bought a bathing suit that covered every possible inch of skin, looked more like a diver, and Denice, with her sensible shoes, sensible leggings, and sensible oversized T-shirt, seemed like the most sensible of all, though the hat she had placed on the top of her head gave her the appearance of a scarecrow—not the kind of fashion statement one wants to make at a luxury resort like the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa.

“I keep telling you we should sleep during the day and patrol the place during the night,” said Denice. “It’s the only way to catch this thief. He won’t show his face during the day because he knows that the watch is keeping an eye out for him. So that only leaves the night, his favorite time to break into people’s rooms and steal their valuables.”

“It’s too hot to sleep,” said Gran. “And besides, I can’t sleep during the day. It goes against my biorhythm.”

“What’s a biorhythm?” asked Denice.

“Well, the biorhythm,” said Gran. “You know.”

Denice eyed her strangely. “Is it a vegetarian thing?”

“Can you explain it to Denice, Scarlett?” said Gran, who didn’t have the patience to launch into a long explanation on any topic.

Scarlett had taken out her phone and had called up Google, that panacea for any discerning seeker of truth and wisdom. “Um… it’s also referred to as a person’s biological clock?”

“Oh, I know all about the biological clock!” said Denice, nodding. “Everybody has one, right? And it’s important that you don’t get it all messed up. Take me, for instance. If I don’t go to bed every night at the exact same time, I get very grumpy in the morning.”

“Same here,” said Gran. “Which is why I don’t feel like staying up all night just so we can catch this guy.” She gestured to one of the cameras suspended from the ceiling. “This place is full of cameras and still they can’t catch this fella? How is that even possible?”

“It’s not,” Denice agreed. “But he’s still at it, so they must be doing something wrong. I mean, are you sure these cameras are even working? Maybe they’re just dummies.”

“Or maybe they’re working, but nobody monitors them,” said Scarlett. “It’s often the case. They just put them up for show, to scare off potential thieves. But they don’t want to pay an actual person to actually monitor all the feeds. Plus, it’s a pretty boring job.”

“I talked to the guy in charge of security,” said Gran. “And he assures me all of their cameras are in perfect working order. So either he’s lying or this thief is really, really good.”

“Maybe it’s the invisible man,” Scarlett quipped.

“Or he’s using an invisibility cloak,” said Harriet. “Like in Harry Potter, remember?”

“I don’t think an invisibility cloak actually exists, Harriet,” said Brutus.

“I know that, pookie,” she said, a little annoyed that he wouldn’t have understood she was only kidding. “But there must be some explanation why he keeps breaking into people’s rooms and nobody has caught him on camera yet.”

“Gran’s theory is probably the most plausible one,” I said. “He’s some kind of cat burglar who scales the walls and enters the rooms through the windows, unseen by the cameras that aren’t anywhere inside the rooms.”

“Too bad,” said Brutus. “They probably should put a camera in every room—or maybe even more than one. That way they’d catch him soon enough.”

“It’s privacy,” said Harriet. “People don’t like it when they film them in their rooms.”

“They should,” said Brutus. “It’s only to keep them safe.”

“Maybe they can install hidden cameras?” Dooley suggested. “You know, like behind the mirrors and inside the light bulbs and all of that? That way the guests won’t even know they’re being watched?”

Harriet smiled. “There’s such a thing as privacy laws, Dooley,” she said. “I’m sure that the moment the guests find out, they’d make short shrift of those cameras.”

“But they wouldn’t know, would they?” said Dooley. “And so they won’t complain.”

It all seemed ethically iffy to me, but maybe Dooley had a point. If this thief was so very clever to have been able to steal from people’s rooms for weeks without being caught, something needed to be done. Something right outside of the normal rule book. If the thief wasn’t going to play fair and square, maybe we shouldn’t either. But since it wasn’t our call, instead I simply kept up a high level of vigilance, which was a little hard since all I wanted at that moment was to continue my very nice nap.

I may be a detective, but first and foremost I’m a cat, and as a prominent member of the feline tribe, I love a nice long nap!

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ABOUT NIC

Nic has a background in political science and before being struck by the writing bug worked odd jobs around the world (including but not limited to massage therapist in Mexico, gardener in Italy, restaurant manager in India, and Berlitz teacher in Belgium).

When he’s not writing he enjoys curling up with a good (comic) book, watching British crime dramas, French comedies or Nancy Meyers movies, sampling pastry (apple cake!), pasta and chocolate (preferably the dark variety), twisting himself into a pretzel doing morning yoga, going for a brisk walk, and spoiling his feline assistants Lily and Ricky.

He lives with his wife (and aforementioned cats) in a small village smack dab in the middle of absolutely nowhere and is probably writing his next ‘Mysteries of Max’ book right now.

www.nicsaint.com

Copyright © 2024 by Nic Saint. All rights reserved.

Published by Puss in Books.

Edited by Chereese Graves.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any electronic or mechanical means including photocopying, recording, or information storage and retrieval without permission in writing from the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.