Winry:
Come on! Hurry up! I'll take the chrome-steel spanner set, this hydraulic torque wrench, and could I take a look at that micrometer please?

Man:
Sure.

Winry:
Oh, and please throw in whichever ultra-hard-tip drill bit you think is the best!

Man:
You got it!

Winry:
It's everything that I dreamed it would be! Central sure puts our small town selection to shame! And I just can't get over how good the walnut handle on this screwdriver feels on my skin!

Al:
Are you almost done in there, Winry? Don't you think you have enough souvenirs for one trip?

Winry:
What? But you told me you'd buy me anything I wanted today. Isn't that right, Ed?

Ed:
Yeah.

Winry:
Ed, I love these high-carbon chrome-steel cutting sheers! They'll cut through anything and never rust! Can I have these, too?

Ed:
Sure.

Winry:
Sir! Could you add this sewing machine oil to my tab?

Man:
Of course!

Winry:
Here. This is for you. Without me around you'll have to take care of your own automail.

Man:
Mister Elric. Mustang wants to see you.

Ed:
There's a mission for me?

Mustang:
Yeah. Now that you're a real State Alchemist, you have to be ready to leave at a moment's notice. It's our life. Second Lieutenant Hawkeye.

Hawkeye:
Yes, sir. Here are your orders and case file.

Ed:
Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric. You are hereby ordered to inspect the coalmine at Youswell. Is this kinda thing really a job for a State Alchemist?

Hawkeye:
It entails inspecting the mine resources. As an alchemist, you do have knowledge of minerals, don't you?

Mustang:
As it's your first mission, I decided to keep the training wheels on, but that won't mean that you can take it easy.

Al:
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth.


Al:
It feels like we've got our own private car, huh? I like traveling by train. You can just sit and watch the world go by out...

Ed:
Al. I have to do this now that the state has me on leash, but there's no reason you should suffer, too.

Al:
We're brothers. If we don't help each other, no one will. Your lines, remember?

Winry:
So, when can we expect to see you back home?

Ed:
We're not going back.

Winry:
Ed?

Al:
Winry. There's no home left for us to return to.

Ed:
You're right.

Al:
Look! I think I can see it!

Ed:
So that's the last town to the east. Youswell. Huh.
It's supposed to be a coal-mining town, but it looks more like a ghost town to me.

Al:
Everyone here looks so worn down.

Ed:
It doesn't look like there's gonna be much to do here. Let's hurry and finish so we can blow this...

Kyle:
Sorry. Wait, are you guys tourists? Where are you from? Have you eaten? Where are you staying?

Ed:
Hell of a welcoming committee.

Kyle:
Pop! We got visitors!

Halling:
What are you going on about?

Kyle:
Over here! Big spenders!

Al:
Big spenders?

Halling:
Well, hey! My name is Halling. I run the local inn. We'll take good care of you!
So, what do you think? I know it's not much, but since the coal mine's wages are so low, at least with this place I can keep two irons in the fire.

Woman:
Now that'll be a room for two for one night?

Al:
And what are your rates?

Halling:
Well they ain't cheap.

Ed:
I'm sure we can cope. Despite our appearances, we've got plenty of cash.

Halling:
Two hundred thousand.

Ed:
What!? Two hundred thousand? That's ridiculous! You're gonna put gold bars on our pillows?

Halling:
It's a fair price, seeing how ours is the finest inn in all of Youswell.

Kyle:
Not to mention that it's the only one.

Halling:
We ain't had any guests in some time. So we've gotta milk you folks for all you're worth.

Ed:
It's not even close to enough.

Al:
We spent all that money on Winry.

Ed:
Guess we go to plan B.

Man:
Wow! He fixed it! It looks as good as new!

Ed:
Come on! What else needs fixing?

Woman:
Well if it's not too much trouble, this is special to me, but it's broken.

Halling:
You still haven't thrown out that old piece of junk?

Woman:
Maybe if you bought us some nice things once in a while.

Ed:
Here. I'll take care of that.

Woman:
Thank you so much.

Man:
Hey, that looks pretty nice!

Halling:
Who'd have thought that our first tourist in ages would be a real live alchemist. I took a crack at alchemy myself once, but never went anywhere with it.

Kyle:
Hey. So what brings you to Youswell? There's not much here for someone like you.

Ed:
It's business. In fact I've come here to inspect the coalmine.

Halling:
Inspect? Then you're part of the military?

Ed:
Well yeah. I'm a State Alchemist. Cool, huh? Hey! What was that for?

Halling:
We have no food or beds to offer any dogs of the military! You one of them, too?

Al:
Well, no, not...

Ed:
He's got nothing to do with it! I just met him on the train on the way here.

Halling:
Fine then. You can sleep on the street like the rest of the dogs!

Al:
Your dad sure feels strongly about it.

Kyle:
Of course he does. Everyone around here hates the stupid army! And that greedy sucker Yoki who's in charge of this place is the worst all of them.

Al:
Yoki?

Halling:
And now he's got that sneaky little State Alchemist to do all his dirty work. ''Alchemist, be thou for the people,'' that's their crock of a slogan. But the only people they care about are their own damned selves.

Al:
But, sir...

Halling:
They're self-righteous thugs who sell their souls to the state.

Ed:
Moon, old pal. I'm so hungry. I wish you were cheese. Ah, Winry. If only you'd think about my human parts instead of my metal ones now and then?

Al:
She does think about your human side. I snuck this out for you.

Ed:
Al.

Al:
After all, I can't eat it. They really do hate the military here.

Ed:
Yeah. I'll watch that from now on.

Al:
Maybe I should enlist, too. And become a State Alchemist alongside you.

Ed:
Are you nuts? It's bad enough that one of us has to play their silly games. Having another lighting rod won't make this any easier, Al.

Al:
But brother...

Lyra:
Step aside!

Yoki:
Your inn is as charmingly filthy as ever, Halling.

Halling:
Lieutenant Yoki, you know you should cover up your face more often. It's a good look for you.

Yoki:
Enough small talk. The taxes on this place are long past due. And it's not just you, Halling. I could say the same for the whole town.

Halling:
Our wages are too low to afford tax, sir.

Lyra:
You're paid so little because that's what you men are worth.

Man::
What? You know you can't just lower our wages! And then turn around and raise our taxes and expect us to...

Lyra:
The State has given Lieutenant Yoki unilateral authority over this mine.

Man:
Shut up! He only got to where he is by taking the money we sweat and bled for and using it to bribe the higher-ups!

Yoki:
If you've got this all figured out, then perhaps you should try bribing me. But don't blame me 'cause you have to grease the wheels. It's the way of the world.

Man:
Yeah, and sometimes the way of the world is the little man gets beat!

Yoki:
Nicely done Lyra! It seems the rumors of this establishment becoming a hangout for rebels, toughs, and thugs are true. I may have no choice but to suspend your operating license.

Halling:
What?

Kyle:
No, you can't!

Man:
You brat!

Woman:
Oh Kyle!

Yoki:
Don't kill him. We just want him to be an example.

Halling:
Please no!

Yoki:
Who the hell are you?

Ed:
When I heard the Lieutenant would be dropping in, I thought I'd come by and say hello.

Yoki:
Is that what I...

Man:
Who does this kid think he is, sir?

Yoki:
You moron! That watch makes him a State Alchemist, which means he reports directly to King Bradley! How terribly rude of my subordinate. Please forgive his idiocy. I'm Lieutenant Yoki, the man in charge here. So, what business might you have in our humble little burg?

Ed:
I'm just here to conduct an inspection.

Yoki:
An inspection? Marvelous! But you must come stay at my mansion. I hope you haven't had to mingle with these unwashed masses for too long.

Halling:
Loathsome dogs.

Hakuro:
Congratulations, Mustang. I hear you're being promoted to a full colonel soon. And Hawkeye, you'll be bumped up to First Lieutenant.

Hawkeye:
Thank you, General Hakuro, sir.

Hakuro:
Once the promotions go through, I'd like you to supervise the Eastern Command Center for a while. I think you'd do well there.

Mustang:
You're demoting me already? I can see how having someone like me around Central...

Hakuro:
What are you talking about? This isn't a demotion, it's a transfer. Colonel Mustang. But watch your back there because I hear our people in the Eastern Division are less than upstanding.

Yoki:
It's such a great honor for me to be hosting a genuine State Alchemist, such as yourself, in my home. And since we are so blessed as to have such a talented scientist in our midst, you should have him take a look at your alchemic attempts, Lyra.

Lyra:
Yes.

Ed:
Nah, I already saw. She liquefied the air around her, reduced its volume and then vaporized it, producing a shockwave. The light came from the heat generated by the forced compression, needed to maintain entropy.

Yoki:
You could deduce all that just by looking at it?

Lyra:
Actually, my ultimate goal is to become a State Alchemist, to be just like you Mister Elric.

Ed:
To be like me?

Lyra:
Yes. I wish nothing more than to do all that I can do for the State.

Yoki:
And now, bon appetite. You'll need strength for the work ahead. I do hope that our provincial cuisine suits your refined tastes.

Ed:
You eat pretty well, considering the economic conditions of this town.

Yoki:
Times are tough for all of us! I tell you, I've had plenty of trouble collecting taxes. And those miners can be so brutishly obstinate sometimes, as you saw.

Ed:
And by obstinate, you mean asserting their rights and refusing to pay you more than they earn?

Yoki:
See, you get it! I knew you were a man of great understanding.

Ed:
To understand the world, we have only to follow one basic principle; Equivalent Exchange, the founding law of alchemy. You can't get without giving. Right?

Yoki:
Absolutely. Eloquently put! I myself have long conducted business under a similar guiding principle. In the spirit of which, uh, Lyra? Please accept this small token of my appreciation.

Ed:
This supposed to be some kind of a bribe, Yoki?

Yoki:
That is such an ugly word. Why don't we just call it ''Equivalent Exchange?'' Now then, there is the matter of your inspection.

Ed:
Yeah, I get your drift.

Yoki:
I knew you would! You are truly a man of great understanding! Oh, and I have a feeling the town's people will start behaving themselves very shortly.

Al:
I hope Ed is doing all right, on his own.

Kyle:
Hey, what's going on?

Halling:
Kyle! Kyle! Let go! My son's still in there!

Man:
You can't boss! It's too dangerous now! We'll lose you both!

Halling:
I don't care! Let me go! Kyle! Kyle! Kyle! Come on, Kyle, where are you? Kyle! Kyle!

Kyle:
Dad! I'm here.

Ed:
Is this Yoki's doing?

Kyle:
You're some kind of a super alchemist, right? So can't you just make some gold? For my dad? You could save the whole town!

Ed:
I can't.

Kyle:
Why not? It won't cost you nothing!

Ed:
You're wrong. The whole world is equivalent exchange. I give you gold, and I'd have to pay the price. And I've got no reason to do that.

Kyle:
So we have to bribe you now too!? And you call yourself an Alchemist!

Ed:
''Alchemist, be thou for the people,'' what a load that is. Huh? Transmuting gold's a serious offense. If I'm caught they'll not only strip me of my State Alchemist certification, but they'll throw me in jail.

Kyle:
Then do it so you don't get caught!

Ed:
Even if I could, it'd just be taken away in taxes. If it's that awful here, why don't you all just saddle up and move on to another village?

Halling:
Kid... This may not make any sense to you. But this place, well it's both our home and our coffin.

Ed:
Home and coffin. That's got a nice ring.

Al:
What are you doing?

Ed:
Al. We burned our home to the ground, on purpose. We've got nowhere to go back to, and that's fine, because we chose it. But, I don't know, maybe Equivalent Exchange goes further than we thought. Al, what you're about to see stays just between us.

Al:
Brother?

Yoki:
You want to buy the Youswell coal mine?

Ed:
That's right. And while you're here, I'd like you to throw in everything from the trade routes to the town itself. Okay?

Yoki:
Well, I'm afraid, even for a State Alchemist like yourself, the mine just isn't for sale.

Ed:
Oh, that's too bad. And here we lugged all this in for nothing.

Yoki:
Is... Is that... ...real gold?

Ed:
Turns out the mine's full of unexploited minerals that'd be a real booster shot for alchemic research, and I'd hate to miss out. But if it's not on the market...

Yoki:
Don't be absurd! Although, the mine was entrusted to me by my State govern. Selling it for my own personal profit might appear to some observers to, uh...

Ed:
Right. Don't worry, none of this gold appears on any of the books, so as long as we both keep our mouths shut, no one has to know anything about it!

Yoki:
But still...

Ed:
Hmm. I've got it! What if you write up an official deed stating you hand over all rights to the mine to me, free of charge. Then you can take all of this as an unrelated gift, Lieutenant.

Kyle:
Why? Why can't I fight?

Halling:
Because I can't... I can't risk losing you again, son.

Kyle:
But they smashed our inn! We have to make them pay for that!

Halling:
It's just a building Kyle, nothing that's worth dying for.

Ed:
Hi! So, let's see if I can turn those frowns upside down.

Kyle:
You leech. What do you want now?

Ed:
Come on! Is that any way to talk to your new boss, landlord and all-around overseer?

Man:
Overseer? What the hell are...

Ed:
As you can see, I hold in my hand the title deed to the mine, trade routes, and entire town of Youswell.

Halling:
What?

Ed:
In other words, pretty much everything around here belongs to me now. You follow? However... I have to be getting back to my busy life in Central. I'm not even sure this is worth carrying to the city with me. It's so heavy!

Halling:
So, you're gonna try and sell it to us for a profit?

Ed:
You bet. And it ain't gonna be cheap, to use your phrase. You remember Equivalent Exchange, don't you? After all, not only is this deed written on high-grade parchment, it's got gold leaf trim on the edges. It comes in a box decorated with finely crushed jade in a nonchalant, yet, at the same time, luxurious design. Oh yeah, this is craftsmanship. And the key's sterling silver! Gee I'd say it's gotta be worth around two hundred K.

Halling:
Two hundred? For the deed to the Youswell?

Man:
That's all? Really?

Ed:
You know, now that I think about it, a room at the inn cost two hundred thousand. I'll spend the night and let's call it even!

Halling:
Equivalent exchange!

Kyle:
But, our inn was destroyed last night.

Ed:
Hmm. Really? Then what's that over there?

Woman:
It's new again!

Halling:
Like magic, but real.

Ed:
So, this should cover my stay here, right?

Halling:
Yes. Of course, Ed.

Ed:
Good. It's an even trade.

Yoki:
Elric! What's the meaning of this? All of a sudden the gold bars you gave me turned to stone!

Ed:
Gold bars? I don't know what you're talking about.

Yoki:
Don't toy with me! I traded you that deed in exchange for a mountain of gold bars!

Ed:
No. I'm pretty sure you handed it over to me free of charge, didn't you? At least, that's what it says in the letter.

Yoki:
No! You swindled me you little-

Ed:
That's such an ugly word. Why don't we call it a gift from you to me?

Yoki:
The transaction's invalid! Lyra!

Ed:
''Alchemist be thou for the people,'' that's our motto! If you really want to be like me, you'll take that to heart!

Lyra:
But you are an Alchemist of the State! How can you defy the military you serve?

Ed:
Because I never sold my soul to them.

Yoki:
You cursed boy! Seize the deed from--

Man:
Sorry sir.

Man:
Now we're gonna do to you physically what you been doing to us financially for years!

Man:
Never underestimate the strength of a coal mining man, Lieutenant!

Woman:
You know honey, I think our inn's even nicer than before.

Halling:
Uh-huh. I think so too, all thanks to Ed Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Hawkeye:
Here's the report from Edward Elric, sir.

Mustang:
Great.

Hawkeye:
Thanks to the incident there, the State has decided to reorganize the personnel at the Eastern Command Center, who oversaw the coalmine.

Mustang:
Really? That should make our jobs a little easier when we head East. It's almost as though Elric did you and I a favor by going there.

Hawkeye:
Don't tell me you planned this from the start, sir!

Mustang:
Come on! You think I know everything? I wonder how pretty the women out East are.

Hawkeye:
As for Elric, it seems his reputation is already spreading throughout the region. They're saying there's a champion of the people among the military dogs.

Man:
Edward Elric? Yeah, I heard of him.

Ed:
So what do you know about the guy?

Man:
Well what they say is that even though he's one of them State Alchemists guys, he's still a friend of the common man.

Ed:
Wow, he must be a man of great stature then, huh?

Man:
Actually, I hear he's surprisingly short, like a dwarf or something.

Ed:
Who are you calling a dwarf?

Man:
What the-
I was just--

Al:
Stop that, brother!

Ed:
Get back here, and say that to my face!

Al:
Brother! If you keep scaring away cab drivers, we'll never reach Liore!


Ed:
Fullmetal Alchemist.

Al:
Episode Ten: ''The Phantom Thief''.
Isn't it funny, brother, how sometimes you can look at someone and not know whether they're good or bad?