Walker:
This is a story of my own creation from years back.
Espers and aliens go head-to-head in a frenzy battle hidden far from the public eye.
People will say it's nothing but lies and nonsense. But...
Erika:
Wow, Saburo...
First someone slams into you and then you get a ticket.
That really blows.
Saburo:
Shut up!
Kyohei:
Hm?
Erika:
Oh, there, there...
That a flying saucer?!
Walker:
A UFO!
Kyohei:
Dude, what was that?
Walker:
I told you guys!
They're real! They're totally real!
Isaac:
You see that, Miria?
It's one of Japan's ghostly fireballs!
Miria:
Yeah! It's one of Japan's... ghostly fireballs, Isaac!
Look!
Celty:
Sh-Shinra! We've got big trouble!
They're here! And they're invading!
Walker:
This is the day fantasy will become reality.
<30 minutes ago>
Hanako:
You asked for that!
How dare you talk about my Gin that way!
Hanako:
Sorry, but he called my Gin a bastard and then told me to leave him!
Police officer:
I get it! I get it!
We'll settle this at the police box.
Boss:
Come on! Faster!
Man:
Chill, boss.
Saburo:
Man... What a crappy day.
Highway 5 is backed up 8 kilometers from the Ikebukuro-Kumano-chou Junction due to an accident.
Hanako:
I was born in Hanamaki.
But I came here to Tokyo so I could become a beautician.
But the school I'm going to won't even let me hold a pair of scissors.
My Gin stopped by all the time. He'd always come in to get a crew cut.
But still, it's like the man said, he's a bit of a loser.
But I love him...
Police officer:
Here.
Anri:
Excuse me.
Here. We found this.
Hanako:
NOOOOOOO!
That's it! That's the bag!
Walker:
The main character is a beautiful girl on a bike.
She rides through the night carrying the ultimate weapon, a weapon made from alien technology.
Men from two syndicates have chased her down.
There's no escape! They have her cornered!
<1 hour ago>
Maids:
Now look...
Maid:
That way! I won!
Okay, master... Wear this, pyon.
Pyon! You look so cute.
Masaomi:
Mikado, you're looking good.
Celty:
I'll take it from here.
Man:
I don't have any idea what's inside of it.
I heard it might be a severed head or fresh meat or something.
Who knows of these guys?
Celty:
A severed head?
No way.
Masaomi:
Three things make a perfect summer fest: candied apples, fireworks, and cute chicks in yukatas.
Now all we need are fireworks, and we'll have a festival!
Ginjiro:
Move it!
Masaomi:
Chill, dude!
Mikado:
You okay?
Anri:
Ya.
Walker:
The professor snagged the weapon and tried to escape the syndicate.
But eventually, they had him cornered.
So he leaves it with the beautiful esper girl and dies.
That's the way my novel went.
Walker, Erika:
Ventura. Ventura. Space people!
Come in, aliens! Please hear our call!
Saburo:
Is that a sutra? It's lame.
Walker:
No, that's a chant!
It's a sacred alien language to summon UFOs!
Saburo:
Tell me again why we have to drive around with this red bag on the roof?
Walker:
So that aliens in the UFO can see that it's missing and come get it from us!
Erika:
I just saw a show on UFOs! They so exist!
Kyohei:
Yeah, I saw that, too. And it was totally bogus.
Only people who believe in that crap are guys like you who can't tell fact from fiction.
Hm?
Erika:
It's the Black Rider.
Smuggler:
We're tailing him as we speak.
We're getting close to Gokokuji.
Yeah, it's just like the informant told us, it's on a black motorcycle.
Where'd he go?
Smuggler:
Hey, look!
Mr. K:
Got it. Those bastards, they played us.
I'm on my way, stay there.
Saburo:
Huh?
Kyohei:
Oh, shit!
Saburo:
What's with the guns?!
Kyohei:
We're still in Japan, right?
Walker:
Oh, no, it's the MIB! They found us!
Erika:
If they catch us, they'll erase our memories!
Walker:
What is going on? Is the good Lord ripping off my own novel?
Do they have mind-reading devices, too?
Everything I wrote has been played out right before me!
Kinnosuke:
Don't mess with me, bastards!
Smuggler:
Shit!
Kyohei:
It's the cops. Thank God.
Kinnosuke:
License, now!
Man:
Just like that intel broker said, the Black Rider does have the red bag.
Boss:
Hm? Those guys...
They're the smugglers.
Get it!
Walker:
"Truth is stranger than fiction"? That's crap.
Truth is a plagiarist! It's ripping off my own freaking novel!
Mikado:
So, can I take these off now?
Anri:
No way.
Masaomi:
Screw that.
You can take yours off, but I can't.
This is permanent and inkier, dude!
Anri:
And I'm not so embarrassed to be on public like this when both of you guys look ridiculous, too.
Hm?
Isn't this that guy's bag?
Walker:
High school students, turned into animals through human experiments, are now caught in this web of deception.
<3 hours ago>
Boss:
What do you mean the money was stolen?
Man:
Yeah. I put the cash in the bag you said to use and got it ready for the trade.
Boss:
But who would've had the stones to take that bag?
You don't think it was the Awakusu?
Man:
Hey, where was Ginji when all this went down?
Man:
Said some bad gang banged up, so bad he was going to the hospital.
Man:
He don't need no band-aids at a time like this.
Boss:
We need some more info.
Get a hold of that info broker.
Mr. K:
You're telling me someone stole it?
Smuggler:
I took the goods straight off the boat and put it in the designated bag.
Mr. K:
You idiot!
We need more intel.
Contact Izaya Orihara, now!
Mikado:
Masaomi said there was some kinda summer festival going on today.
Anri:
Yeah, he told me that in Ikebukuro, if one of the girls is wearing a yukata, then the whole group's allowed in free.
Masaomi:
Okay, why don't we just head to Sunshine for now?
You guys got me. There's no place like that here, but I bet it exists somewhere.
Anri:
I should... go home...
Masaomi:
Like my plan, get a pretty girl with huge breasts to wear a yukata, and suddenly they look even bigger!
This'll so get us noticed!
Anri:
I should really go home now.
Maid:
Stop right there!
You guys are in luck!
Anri:
What?
Maid:
We have a special today!
Bring in a pretty girl in cosplay and one person in your group gets free drinks!
Masaomi:
See, guys? I was right all along!
Mikado:
This isn't exactly free for the whole group.
Maid:
Table for three coming up!
Ginjiro:
This isn't my fault.
If I don't do this, that monster's gonna kill me.
It's really all their fault.
Why the hell is he here?
Hanako:
He's changed...
He wasn't always like this...
When we first met, he still had dreams.
Tom:
Take this.
Hanako:
Thank you.
He kept saying he was going to strike it rich soon.
I was a naive little country girl, and he just seemed so wonderful to me.
I can't believe I was so stupid.
I should've known. He was so showy.
Always buying those expensive clothes and watches.
And next thing he was gambling to pay off his debts.
It just got worse...
Shizuo:
Yo Tom, I'm outta here.
Tom:
Hm? Fine.
Okay, thanks. I'll be back.
Hanako:
Alright. I'll wash your hanky and return it.
Tom:
That's all yours.
Shizuo:
Sorry, but I was about to lose it back there.
Weak-ass stories like hers totally bug.
<6 hours ago>
Walker:
Everything started when it came from the sky!
Tom:
Mr. Maruoka? Ginjiro Maruoka?
I know you're in there!
A lowlife like you knows what's coming your way!
Come on, Maruoka! Open up!
Hanako:
Gin, take this.
I put some onigiri in it for you.
Ginjiro:
Thank you, Hanako.
I just need a little time!
I'll pay it all back, I promise!
Wait, wait, wait! We can work this out! Hold on!
Hanako:
Oh, Gin!
Tom:
Here I come!
Ginjiro:
Hey, you're a good-looking guy!
You look just like that actor, uh... what's his name?
Yuhei Hanejima! You look just like him!
Actually, you look way better than that douchebag.
Tom:
Oh, man. He shouldn't have said that...
Walker:
Guys! That was a flying alien!
Erika:
You see it? You see it?
Saburo:
That didn't happen!
Kyohei:
What's this?
Walker:
It was dropped by that flying alien.
It probably contains an ultimate weapon built to destroy the entire human race.
No, don't open it! It's gonna blow up!
Or maybe not.
Kyohei:
Guess that alien was going on vacation.
Walker:
The only difference between reality and my book is that it wasn't a beautiful girl who fell from the sky.
Regardless, I have no doubt that this is still a close encounter of the first kind!
Ventura. Ventura. Space people! Ventura. Ventura. Space people!
We don't know when and we don't know how. We only know that they are here, and they are among us. They could be any one, they could even be the person sitting right next to you.
Shinra:
Ow! That hurts, Celty!
What did you do that for?
Celty:
Oh, good. You're the real Shinra.
Shinra:
I don't get it, why do you keep watching these shows anyway?
They only freak you out.
You even recorded one yesterday.
Celty:
Well, if you're afraid of someone, you should learn everything you can about them.
That way, you can deal with them when the time comes.
Shinra:
And just when would that be?
Celty:
W-Well...
Izaya:
Hey, Transporter. Got a job for you.
Celty:
Damn you, Izaya...
Just exactly what part of this is simple and safe?
Boss:
What the hell's going on, Mr. K?
You guys trying to double-cross us?
Mr. K:
What are you talking about? That bag's ours.
Man:
Yo, boss! Look at that!
Boss:
Hey, that guy's the...
Mr. K:
Mr. Shiki!
Shiki:
It's a real problem now, Mr. K.
The goods were promised to us.
Mr. K:
I'm terribly sorry, sir, but...
Boss:
That bastard screwed us! Get him!
Mr. K:
I don't want any trouble, Mr. Shiki.
In the future, we'll just deal with you.
Shiki:
Good work, thank you.
Celty:
May I ask what's in it?
Izaya:
It's just like you.
It's something that isn't supposed to exist.
The Squamata Lacertilia Scincidae, or the Cape Verde Giant Skink.
They were thought to be extinct for over seventy years.
But, then they found one.
Shiki:
There is a group of smugglers who specialize in exotic animals.
The rarer the animal is, the more you can get for it.
Izaya:
But Mr. K tried to double-cross them.
He wanted to sell it to the Tsunohazu group.
So he came up with a little scheme that would draw those guys out here.
Shiki:
We entered into the arrangement fully intending to make a fair trade.
But then, the Tsunohazu group showed and well, all bets were off.
In the end, they saved us time.
Celty:
So he misread the word "live animal" as "fresh meat".
Izaya:
You know, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.
By the way, Mr. Shiki, in regards to the Tsunohazu group...
Shiki:
I know, I know. We won't rub 'em out.
Izaya:
My thoughts exactly.
You see, I may still have a use for them yet.
Alright, then... What am I gonna do with this little guy?
Boss:
Hey, informant.
You were able to get all that money back?
Thanks, man!
What condition?
Masaomi:
Once summer starts, we won't be seeing each other every day.
If we wanted to, we could avoid each other indefinitely.
Mikado:
That's why you put us through this tonight?
Masaomi:
Summer break's gonna come around next year and the year after that.
But you never know, maybe the three of us won't be as tight then.
Mikado:
I guess some things could change, no matter how similar each summer may seem.
Masaomi:
Exactly. So I wanted to take a plain old day like this, and turn it into something cool like a festival.
I wanted to make it memorable.
Boss:
Which one of you guys is Shizuo Heiwajima?
Shizuo:
Huh?
Boss:
You? You're the one who stole our money?
Shizuo:
What did you say?
Boss:
We got this intel broker who found our bag of cash.
And when we got it back, he said you were the one who stole it!
Shizuo:
Hey, chief, you mind?
Boss:
Die!!
Izaya:
It's kinda scary how much people trust me.
Walker:
UFO!
Masaomi:
Look, guys! Fireworks!
Mikado:
I don't really think those are fireworks...
Masaomi:
This ended up being a perfect summer fest after all!
Mikado:
Hmm... I'm not so sure...
Walker:
The UFO recovered their ultimate weapon, and peace fell on this city once again.
A ferocious battle unfolded just outside of the public's eye, and hardly anyone knew.
Hanako:
Gin, dear. I found it.
Ginjiro:
The bag! You...
Walker:
And the story ends with a line from a poem:
God's in His Heaven. All's right with the world!
This is a story of my own creation from years back.
Espers and aliens go head-to-head in a frenzy battle hidden far from the public eye.
People will say it's nothing but lies and nonsense. But...
Erika:
Wow, Saburo...
First someone slams into you and then you get a ticket.
That really blows.
Saburo:
Shut up!
Kyohei:
Hm?
Erika:
Oh, there, there...
That a flying saucer?!
Walker:
A UFO!
Kyohei:
Dude, what was that?
Walker:
I told you guys!
They're real! They're totally real!
Isaac:
You see that, Miria?
It's one of Japan's ghostly fireballs!
Miria:
Yeah! It's one of Japan's... ghostly fireballs, Isaac!
Look!
Celty:
Sh-Shinra! We've got big trouble!
They're here! And they're invading!
Walker:
This is the day fantasy will become reality.
<30 minutes ago>
Hanako:
You asked for that!
How dare you talk about my Gin that way!
Police officer:
Alright, alright.
Calm down, miss.
Hanako:
Sorry, but he called my Gin a bastard and then told me to leave him!
Police officer:
I get it! I get it!
We'll settle this at the police box.
Boss:
Come on! Faster!
Man:
Chill, boss.
Saburo:
Man... What a crappy day.
Highway 5 is backed up 8 kilometers from the Ikebukuro-Kumano-chou Junction due to an accident.
Hanako:
I was born in Hanamaki.
But I came here to Tokyo so I could become a beautician.
But the school I'm going to won't even let me hold a pair of scissors.
My Gin stopped by all the time. He'd always come in to get a crew cut.
But still, it's like the man said, he's a bit of a loser.
But I love him...
Police officer:
Here.
Anri:
Excuse me.
Here. We found this.
Hanako:
NOOOOOOO!
That's it! That's the bag!
Walker:
The main character is a beautiful girl on a bike.
She rides through the night carrying the ultimate weapon, a weapon made from alien technology.
Men from two syndicates have chased her down.
There's no escape! They have her cornered!
<1 hour ago>
Maids:
Now look...
Maid:
That way! I won!
Okay, master... Wear this, pyon.
Pyon! You look so cute.
Masaomi:
Mikado, you're looking good.
Celty:
I'll take it from here.
Man:
I don't have any idea what's inside of it.
I heard it might be a severed head or fresh meat or something.
Who knows of these guys?
Celty:
A severed head?
No way.
Masaomi:
Three things make a perfect summer fest: candied apples, fireworks, and cute chicks in yukatas.
Now all we need are fireworks, and we'll have a festival!
Ginjiro:
Move it!
Masaomi:
Chill, dude!
Mikado:
You okay?
Anri:
Ya.
Walker:
The professor snagged the weapon and tried to escape the syndicate.
But eventually, they had him cornered.
So he leaves it with the beautiful esper girl and dies.
That's the way my novel went.
Walker, Erika:
Ventura. Ventura. Space people!
Come in, aliens! Please hear our call!
Saburo:
Is that a sutra? It's lame.
Walker:
No, that's a chant!
It's a sacred alien language to summon UFOs!
Saburo:
Tell me again why we have to drive around with this red bag on the roof?
Walker:
So that aliens in the UFO can see that it's missing and come get it from us!
Erika:
I just saw a show on UFOs! They so exist!
Kyohei:
Yeah, I saw that, too. And it was totally bogus.
Only people who believe in that crap are guys like you who can't tell fact from fiction.
Hm?
Erika:
It's the Black Rider.
Smuggler:
We're tailing him as we speak.
We're getting close to Gokokuji.
Yeah, it's just like the informant told us, it's on a black motorcycle.
Where'd he go?
Smuggler:
Hey, look!
Mr. K:
Got it. Those bastards, they played us.
I'm on my way, stay there.
Saburo:
Huh?
Kyohei:
Oh, shit!
Saburo:
What's with the guns?!
Kyohei:
We're still in Japan, right?
Walker:
Oh, no, it's the MIB! They found us!
Erika:
If they catch us, they'll erase our memories!
Walker:
What is going on? Is the good Lord ripping off my own novel?
Do they have mind-reading devices, too?
Everything I wrote has been played out right before me!
Kinnosuke:
Don't mess with me, bastards!
Smuggler:
Shit!
Kyohei:
It's the cops. Thank God.
Kinnosuke:
License, now!
Man:
Just like that intel broker said, the Black Rider does have the red bag.
Boss:
Hm? Those guys...
They're the smugglers.
Get it!
Walker:
"Truth is stranger than fiction"? That's crap.
Truth is a plagiarist! It's ripping off my own freaking novel!
Mikado:
So, can I take these off now?
Anri:
No way.
Masaomi:
Screw that.
You can take yours off, but I can't.
This is permanent and inkier, dude!
Anri:
And I'm not so embarrassed to be on public like this when both of you guys look ridiculous, too.
Hm?
Isn't this that guy's bag?
Walker:
High school students, turned into animals through human experiments, are now caught in this web of deception.
<3 hours ago>
Boss:
What do you mean the money was stolen?
Man:
Yeah. I put the cash in the bag you said to use and got it ready for the trade.
Boss:
But who would've had the stones to take that bag?
You don't think it was the Awakusu?
Man:
Hey, where was Ginji when all this went down?
Man:
Said some bad gang banged up, so bad he was going to the hospital.
Man:
He don't need no band-aids at a time like this.
Boss:
We need some more info.
Get a hold of that info broker.
Mr. K:
You're telling me someone stole it?
Smuggler:
I took the goods straight off the boat and put it in the designated bag.
Mr. K:
You idiot!
We need more intel.
Contact Izaya Orihara, now!
Mikado:
Masaomi said there was some kinda summer festival going on today.
Anri:
Yeah, he told me that in Ikebukuro, if one of the girls is wearing a yukata, then the whole group's allowed in free.
Masaomi:
Okay, why don't we just head to Sunshine for now?
You guys got me. There's no place like that here, but I bet it exists somewhere.
Anri:
I should... go home...
Masaomi:
Like my plan, get a pretty girl with huge breasts to wear a yukata, and suddenly they look even bigger!
This'll so get us noticed!
Anri:
I should really go home now.
Maid:
Stop right there!
You guys are in luck!
Anri:
What?
Maid:
We have a special today!
Bring in a pretty girl in cosplay and one person in your group gets free drinks!
Masaomi:
See, guys? I was right all along!
Mikado:
This isn't exactly free for the whole group.
Maid:
Table for three coming up!
Ginjiro:
This isn't my fault.
If I don't do this, that monster's gonna kill me.
It's really all their fault.
Why the hell is he here?
Hanako:
He's changed...
He wasn't always like this...
When we first met, he still had dreams.
Tom:
Take this.
Hanako:
Thank you.
He kept saying he was going to strike it rich soon.
I was a naive little country girl, and he just seemed so wonderful to me.
I can't believe I was so stupid.
I should've known. He was so showy.
Always buying those expensive clothes and watches.
And next thing he was gambling to pay off his debts.
It just got worse...
Shizuo:
Yo Tom, I'm outta here.
Tom:
Hm? Fine.
Okay, thanks. I'll be back.
Hanako:
Alright. I'll wash your hanky and return it.
Tom:
That's all yours.
Shizuo:
Sorry, but I was about to lose it back there.
Weak-ass stories like hers totally bug.
<6 hours ago>
Walker:
Everything started when it came from the sky!
Tom:
Mr. Maruoka? Ginjiro Maruoka?
I know you're in there!
A lowlife like you knows what's coming your way!
Come on, Maruoka! Open up!
Hanako:
Gin, take this.
I put some onigiri in it for you.
Ginjiro:
Thank you, Hanako.
I just need a little time!
I'll pay it all back, I promise!
Wait, wait, wait! We can work this out! Hold on!
Hanako:
Oh, Gin!
Tom:
Here I come!
Ginjiro:
Hey, you're a good-looking guy!
You look just like that actor, uh... what's his name?
Yuhei Hanejima! You look just like him!
Actually, you look way better than that douchebag.
Tom:
Oh, man. He shouldn't have said that...
Walker:
Guys! That was a flying alien!
Erika:
You see it? You see it?
Saburo:
That didn't happen!
Kyohei:
What's this?
Walker:
It was dropped by that flying alien.
It probably contains an ultimate weapon built to destroy the entire human race.
No, don't open it! It's gonna blow up!
Or maybe not.
Kyohei:
Guess that alien was going on vacation.
Walker:
The only difference between reality and my book is that it wasn't a beautiful girl who fell from the sky.
Regardless, I have no doubt that this is still a close encounter of the first kind!
Ventura. Ventura. Space people!
Ventura. Ventura. Space people!
We don't know when and we don't know how.
We only know that they are here, and they are among us.
They could be any one, they could even be the person sitting right next to you.
Shinra:
Ow! That hurts, Celty!
What did you do that for?
Celty:
Oh, good. You're the real Shinra.
Shinra:
I don't get it, why do you keep watching these shows anyway?
They only freak you out.
You even recorded one yesterday.
Celty:
Well, if you're afraid of someone, you should learn everything you can about them.
That way, you can deal with them when the time comes.
Shinra:
And just when would that be?
Celty:
W-Well...
Izaya:
Hey, Transporter. Got a job for you.
Celty:
Damn you, Izaya...
Just exactly what part of this is simple and safe?
Boss:
What the hell's going on, Mr. K?
You guys trying to double-cross us?
Mr. K:
What are you talking about? That bag's ours.
Man:
Yo, boss! Look at that!
Boss:
Hey, that guy's the...
Mr. K:
Mr. Shiki!
Shiki:
It's a real problem now, Mr. K.
The goods were promised to us.
Mr. K:
I'm terribly sorry, sir, but...
Boss:
That bastard screwed us! Get him!
Mr. K:
I don't want any trouble, Mr. Shiki.
In the future, we'll just deal with you.
Shiki:
Good work, thank you.
Celty:
May I ask what's in it?
Izaya:
It's just like you.
It's something that isn't supposed to exist.
The Squamata Lacertilia Scincidae, or the Cape Verde Giant Skink.
They were thought to be extinct for over seventy years.
But, then they found one.
Shiki:
There is a group of smugglers who specialize in exotic animals.
The rarer the animal is, the more you can get for it.
Izaya:
But Mr. K tried to double-cross them.
He wanted to sell it to the Tsunohazu group.
So he came up with a little scheme that would draw those guys out here.
Shiki:
We entered into the arrangement fully intending to make a fair trade.
But then, the Tsunohazu group showed and well, all bets were off.
In the end, they saved us time.
Celty:
So he misread the word "live animal" as "fresh meat".
Izaya:
You know, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.
By the way, Mr. Shiki, in regards to the Tsunohazu group...
Shiki:
I know, I know. We won't rub 'em out.
Izaya:
My thoughts exactly.
You see, I may still have a use for them yet.
Alright, then... What am I gonna do with this little guy?
Boss:
Hey, informant.
You were able to get all that money back?
Thanks, man!
What condition?
Masaomi:
Once summer starts, we won't be seeing each other every day.
If we wanted to, we could avoid each other indefinitely.
Mikado:
That's why you put us through this tonight?
Masaomi:
Summer break's gonna come around next year and the year after that.
But you never know, maybe the three of us won't be as tight then.
Mikado:
I guess some things could change, no matter how similar each summer may seem.
Masaomi:
Exactly. So I wanted to take a plain old day like this, and turn it into something cool like a festival.
I wanted to make it memorable.
Boss:
Which one of you guys is Shizuo Heiwajima?
Shizuo:
Huh?
Boss:
You? You're the one who stole our money?
Shizuo:
What did you say?
Boss:
We got this intel broker who found our bag of cash.
And when we got it back, he said you were the one who stole it!
Shizuo:
Hey, chief, you mind?
Boss:
Die!!
Izaya:
It's kinda scary how much people trust me.
Walker:
UFO!
Masaomi:
Look, guys! Fireworks!
Mikado:
I don't really think those are fireworks...
Masaomi:
This ended up being a perfect summer fest after all!
Mikado:
Hmm... I'm not so sure...
Walker:
The UFO recovered their ultimate weapon, and peace fell on this city once again.
A ferocious battle unfolded just outside of the public's eye, and hardly anyone knew.
Hanako:
Gin, dear. I found it.
Ginjiro:
The bag! You...
Walker:
And the story ends with a line from a poem:
God's in His Heaven. All's right with the world!