Kuroi:
Okay, time to take your seats, guys.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Here’s hoping you guys all have a safe and productive new year.
But then again, some of you’ll be my responsibility
for only three more months.
I wonder who that could be?

Shiraishi:
Ah, ma’am, you don’t mean me. I can stay, right?

Konata:
I believe in that it feels like a New Year thing.
There’s definitely something in the air.
Yeah, but then school starts up, and you get into a weird mood.
It kinda sucks.

Kagami:
Here’s a weird sort of something working its power over the holiday.
You got that right. [you got that right:同感、 言えてる]
‘Cause even though I spent my first three days of the year
working my butt off for my family, I gained weight.

Konata:
That’s the magic of the New Year.

Miyuki:
You know, it’s hard to burn calories, when it’s cold out.

Kagami:
It’s not like I was sitting around, I mean
I was busy doing all my shrine maiden stuff.

Konata:
Bet you were busy eating too.
Shrine maiden, New Year’s food, shrine maiden, zoni soup,
shrine maiden, snacks, and snacks, shrine maiden, and snacks.

Kagami:
Uhuum...!



Konata:
But then there’s the games you're supposed to play over New Years.
You know, stuff like battledore, hyakunin isshu and kite flying.
But I never saw anybody play that stuff over the holiday.

Kagami:
Well, nowadays with all the power lines and traffic,
flying kites can be pretty dangerous.
I was pretty busy for the first three days of the New Year,
but after that I just read books and watched TV.

Miyuki:
Actually, that’s what I did over the break.
I played battledore, hyakunin isshu and fortune's smile.

Kagami:
Wow, I didn’t think you’d be into that.

Miyuki:
My family tends to be western in their ways,
but our country relatives are much more traditional.
I wore my kimono to the shrine on New Year’s Eve,
and I had a lot of fun playing games with my cousins.

"Even when the gods held sway in the …"

Konata:
She‘s way more Japanese than me.

Kagami:
She’s more traditional than us!

Konata:
What is fortune's smile?
Hey, are all of the one hundred poems
in hyakunin isshu waka-poems?

Miyuki:
Yes, the first verse is read and then
you have to find the card with the second verse.

Konata:
I bet you are awesome at it.

Miyuki:
Oh, no, I’m not as good as some players.
The really good ones can grab the correct card
in a blink of an eye.

Konata:
Yeah, well, with me, I sorta prefer playing the kind of games
that don’t make you feel like you're really studying.

Kagami:
You know, your attitude is the reason
why the future of Japan is in the toilet.

Konata:
I know.
We could have battles with the hyakunin isshu cards.
You can summon the power of the monk Semimaru.
Semimaru Shining Bright Attack versus Ono-no-komachi’s Lovely Attack.
Now, that sounds like fun.

Kagami:
Going there again, huh?

Konata:
If you play the game like that, Kagami, one that made you move around,
you'd be able to lose some weight.

Kagami:
Shut up, you!
It’s those damn rice cakes.

Miyuki:
It’s true. Rice cakes are high in calories.
If you have a piece, the size of a matchbox,
it’s basically the same calorie as a small bowl of rice.

Konata:
That means each bite you take is like a super huge bowl of rice.

Kagami:
Hold it!
Don’t you eat rice cakes?

Konata:
Yeah, you know I grew up without a mom,
so I never really had stuff like zoni soup to eat.
I don’t really eat rice cakes all that much anyway.

Kagami:
Wow, you don’t know what you are missing.
There are lots of ways to eat rice cakes.
Zoni soup, shiruko soup, soy-flavor mochi .

Konata:
And it sounds like those rice cakes’re gonna screw up
your diet again next year, Kagami.

Kagami:
Ugh!


Miyuki:
I hope you don't mind me asking, Izumi-san.
But instead of rice cakes, what does your family eat for New Years?

Konata:
We eat stuff like pizza and pasta.
Our family's New Year always begins with fresh pasta.
At the end of every year my dad goes and cleans out the pasta machine.
I bet you guys didn't know that if you don't use it for a while, it gets all rusty.
And if you use it without cleaning it first, your pasta comes out all black and stuff.
So me and Dad clean it up, and then we make some fresh pasta
and bake up some handmade pizza dough.

Miyuki:
Oh, that does sound authentic.

Konata:
Unlike Kagami's house where the pizza’s delivered and the pasta’s the dried stuff.

Kagami:
Ugh, yeah, actually we don’t eat pizza or pasta for New Years.

Konata:
No way!

Kagami:
It doesn’t work with the traditional meal.

Konata:
It does work. It goes great with roasted chicken.

Kagami:
Is that traditional?

Konata:
Yeah, it’s traditional.

Miyuki:
I think that's more westernized.

Konata:
No way. Really?

Konata:
So Miyuki-san, what food did you and your family eat for New Year's?

Miyuki:
You want to know what we ate?

Konata:
You are a rich girl and your family’s more into western customs.
I can’t see you eating rice cakes and traditional New Year's food.
I bet you ate a full course of French cuisine on New Year's Day.

Miyuki:
Ah, that’s not exactly true.
I did eat traditional Japanese food on New Year's.
In fact, when I took a bite of rice cake, I couldn’t bite through
and it stretched way out.

Konata:
She’s a walking shrine de moe.

Tsukasa:
Rice cakes are stretchy.


Tsukasa:
I can't believe how fast the New Year's vacation goes by.

Konata:
I know, winter vacation ends too fast.
Sure, it looks long on paper, but after doing the big house cleaning,
writing all those New Year's cards and doing homework,
it doesn't leave you with a whole lot of relaxing time.

Kagami:
Whoa! I didn't get a New Year's card from you. And you copied my homework yesterday.

Konata:
Uguu...

Tsukasa:
Did you have your first dream of the year, Kona-chan?

Konata:
Uh? Oh, right, you're supposed to have good luck
if you dream of certain things.

Tsukasa:
Uh-huh, yup.

Kagami:
Yeah, usually they say, it’s 1: Mt.Fuji, 2: hawk and 3: eggplant.

Miyuki:
I heard that they have extended the items on that list to
4: a fan, 5: tobacco, and 6: a blind musician.

Tsukasa:
Wow, the list goes up to six now.

Konata:
Yeah, you know, does anybody really dream about that stuff?
I mean tobacco, eggplant, a blind musician?

Kagami:
Tell me about it.

Tsukasa:
Do you have to see all those things in the same dream or something?

Miyuki:
I suppose if you saw them all in one dream
you’d have tremendous good fortune.
However, you only need to see one.

Tsukasa:
Oh, I thought you needed to see something like
two hawks or three eggplants in a dream.

Konata:
Hate to be the one to say this, but I don’t remember
most of my dreams.
I think people who're obsessed over stuff like that are having
way too much fun with all New Year's thing.

Kagami:
That’s true.

Miyuki:
In my first dream of the year, when I opened my shoe locker,
my shoes were missing.
Imagine. But someone else’s shoes were there
and since I needed to go home, I tried to put them on.
Unfortunately the shoes were the wrong size.
Later, I looked up the meaning of my dream
in the dictionary of dreams and fortune telling.
A dream is a subliminal message.
And according to the dictionary, I’m seeking social skills
and it would be a long time before I can attain them.
Apparently whenever you see shoes in dreams,
it’s supposed to mean social status.

Tsukasa:
Shoes are social?

Konata:
Uh-huh, so you are ambitious, Miyuki-san.
I kinda get it, but sorta don't.


Kagami:
Did you guys hear what happened at this year's
Coming of Age ceremony?
A bunch of people rushed the stage
and started causing trouble.
Don't they have any shame?
I mean they are supposed to be representing Japan.

Tsukasa:
Why bother going if you’re just gonna get kicked off?

Kagami:
That’s what I’m saying.

Konata:
The Coming of Age ceremony is so boring.
I don't wanna go. Do you?

Kagami:
She is on her way to becoming a good-for-nothing adult.

Konata:
So what are you guys gonna wear to
the Coming of Age ceremony?

Kagami:
Umm, since it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing,
I'd wear a long sleeve kimono.
Now that you brought it up, what about you?

Konata:
Yeah, well, knowing my dad, he's gonna want me
to wear a long sleeve kimono.

Kagami:
He totally would, wouldn't he?
Although, if you wore one, you'd look like a kid
celebrating your seven-five-three.

Konata:
Ugh!?


Yui:
Happy New Year and hope it’s a good one!

Konata:
Happy New Year to you too, Onei-san.
You haven’t come by in a while.

Yui:
Well, with my hubby coming home and all the New Year stuff
that needed doing, and my little sis caught a fever too, so…

Konata:
Yeah, she’s frail, isn’t she?

Yui:
I mean that’s not an excuse.
I wasn’t trying to weasel my way out of giving you
all your New Year's cash or anything, really.

Konata:
I didn’t even ask, but she blows her cover.
Rookie move, officer.

Announcer:
In other sports news today,
there was a hyakunin isshu tournament,
and it had an awesome turnout.

Konata:
Oh, that reminds me.
When you were a little kid, do you remember
what kind of stuff you did on New Year's Day?

Yui:
Uh, on New Year's?
Let’s see, I’m pretty sure I did something, I think.
Yeah, like, um...

Konata:
Dot… dot… dot… dot…

Yui:
Sorry break hope, I totally forgot.

Konata:
Man, she lives in her own little world.
I don’t think I’ll ever have a normal conversation with her.

Yui:
I blasted all the memories behind me.

Konata:
Ugh!

Kagami:
You know, Tsukasa's been holed up under the kotatsu lately.

Tsukasa:
It’s been cold, though.

Konata:
I know, the kotatsu is awesome.
But when you are under it, getting up
to go to the bathroom's a drag.

Tsukasa:
Yeah, right, but you don’t have to say it out loud like that.

Konata:
My dad’s got a killer line he whips out
whenever I've been sitting under it for too long.

Tsukasa:
Really, what dose he say?

Soujiro:
Hey, Konata, if you're gonna live under that kotatsu all day long,
I’m putting it away.

Kagami:
So he doesn’t mind not having it out?

Konata:
No, he loves it.
He just wants to teach me a lesson, is all.
If we’ve been sitting under it for a while, we both fall asleep.

Tsukasa:
Oh, I know.
But I heard that if you fall asleep like that, you’ll catch a cold.

Konata:
Yep, if I catch a sleeping, I always try to turn it off.
Yeah, those kotatsus are like a mixture of heaven and hell.

Tsukasa:
Um, how?

Konata:
Because right before it goes on and after you turned it off,
it feels even colder than ever.

Tsukasa:
Uh-huh, you're right, it does, doesn’t it?
Isn’t it hard to get out of bed when it’s this cold?

Konata:
Yeah, oh, and when you take a bath, and the time it takes you
to get undressed and jump in the tub’s awful.
Makes you think twice about running bare naked.

Tsukasa:
Yeah, 'cause it's slippery.
Oh, and when it’s late, you need to go to the bathroom,
don’t you hate that?

Konata:
Yeah, ohh!

Kagami:
Come on guys, we gotta get off.

Konata:
When you get off the bus till you get into class is hell too.

Tsukasa:
Yeah.

Tsukasa:
It's almost Valentine's Day.
It gets more exciting around this time of year, doesn't it?

Kagami:
It's funny how everyone walks around
acting like “Valentine's is no big deal.”
But secretly they are all anxious about it.

Tsukasa:
Wouldn’t it be wonderful they have someone special on that day,
someone to share your feelings with?
I think that would be the best thing ever.

Kagami:
Ah, Tsukasa, you are a hopeless romantic.
And I won't say it’s a conspiracy invented by the candy industry.

Konata:
Now that you mention it, this time of year’s special
for someone like me too.

Kagami:
Why?

Konata:
'Cause leftover chocolates always go on sale afterwards.
So I can buy a lot for cheap to make my own.

Kagami:
You really have no dreams at all, do you now?

Konata:
They say, "Money can’t buy you love".
But when you think about it, Valentine’s Day chocolates
are a way to show your love and you buy it with money.

Kagami:
That’s a cold observation, considering the only romance
you've had has been in games.

Konata:
Yeah,well, in games, the whole idea's to get your relationship level up.
That’s way more important than the actual day.

Kagami:
Okay.

Kagami:
Yeah, well, Valentine’s Day is just another day to me.
It’s only an excuse for the boys to get all weird.


Konata:
Guess no one triggered the Kagami flag again this year.

Kagami:
Oh, yeah, you got anything going on?

Konata:
All kinds of people love me.

Kagami:
In your game, yeah, we got it.
You know I worry about you with all your talk of
relationship levels and flags and stuff.
Don’t you feel like you are sort of missing out,
if all you do is limit yourself to the world in your games?

Konata:
Ugh, I really hate it when people talk about stuff
they don’t know anything about.

Kagami:
Huh, you saying I'm wrong?

Konata:
In game-time, events happen pretty fast,
so when you’re playing and you come across Valentine’s Day,
it’s usually over before you know it.

Kagami:
So what?

Konata:
This year’s Valentine's Day is different.
I wanna give some chocolate to someone.

Kagami:
You're kidding! Really?

Konata:
Uh-huh, it’s someone who’s playing the same on-line game
as me.

Kagami:
One of your gaming buddies?
You’re gonna hand it to him in person?

Konata:
Uh-uh, we’re not gonna be seeing each other in person-person.

Kagami:
Huh?

Konata:
It’s all gonna happen in game.
I mean we're both human behind our characters.
So what’s the difference?

Kagami:
But does that even count?
In the end, it’s just a character in a game.

Konata:
Hey! Don’t insult my wife like that.

Kagami:
Huh? Wife?

Konata:
Hum, in the game I play a male character and am married to her.

Kagami:
Whoa, in the game that guy’s giving a girl chocolate.
But you’re really a girl, so that means you'll be giving another girl chocolate,
'cause the other person’s a girl, right?

Konata:
On the contrary, my wife’s a guy in real life.

Kagami:
Huh?
Oh whatever, as long as everyone’s cool and having fun, it’s all good.

Konata:
That’s right.

Konata:
I think I wanna go overseas.

Kagami:
Wow, that came out of nowhere, didn’t it?

Konata:
Well, yesterday Miyuki-san told me...

Miyuki:
"Women giving chocolates to men on February the fourteenth is a tradition
that’s exclusive only to Japan.
In western countries people give candies and cards to friends and loved ones
regardless of their gender."

Konata:
"Really?"

Konata:
That’s exactly what she said, so that means even a girl like me
could get a whole bunch of candy.

Kagami:
That’s one way of looking at it, provided you're as popular as you think
and not just overconfident.

Konata:
Oh, it’s Okay, 'cause in other countries, small girls…

Kagami:
Wow stop! Let’s keep it "G-rated", Okay?


Shiraishi:
You rad!


Tsukasa:
Happy Valentine's Day, Kona-chan. This is for you.

Konata:
Wow, awesome wrapping… for a uniform.
And the inside’s all heart-shaped and everything.

Tsukasa:
I put a lot of work into it.

Kagami:
Tsukasa gets pretty elaborate with stuff like that.
She was up all night making those,
and they are only friendship chocolates.

Konata:
Even if these are friendship chocolates, don’t give them out to boys.
They'll get the wrong idea.

Tsukasa:
Huh, what?

Kagami:
For you, enjoy.

Konata:
Kagami, you're giving me chocolate!

Kagami:
I only made 'em, 'cause she was making some too.
Don't be such a spaz.                  [spaz: 変なことをするやつ、とろいやつ]

Konata:
Oooh!
The fact that you worked so hard on making this
even though you suck at cooking totally turns me on, Kagami.
Did you know that?

Kagami:
Ah, shut up and put it away!

Konata:
Huh, Kagami?

Kagami:
Here, I made this for you.
Don't get the wrong idea.
It's friendship chocolate, friendship, got it?
I’m sorry if they look all weird and everything.

Boy A
Don’t be a fool.
I don’t care if they look funny.
The important thing’s that you made it for me, Kagami.

Kagami:
Whoa, don’t be stupid. It’s nothing like that. Really, it isn’t.


Konata:
Is that what’s going on?

Kagami:
No, so shut up and put it away.


Shiraishi:
It's my first time.

Boy B
First time is the best.


Konata:
Hey, Miyuki-san, did you give chocolate to anyone?

Miyuki:
I gave some to my father and also to a male relative.

Tsukasa:
And I gave chocolates to pretty much everybody who’s friendly to me.

Kagami:
And I gave some to you, Tsukasa and Miyuki.

Konata:
Come on, did everyone have the boringest Valentine’s Day
or what?

Kagami:
You lived in on-line games, so zip it . [zip it : shut up ]


Kagami:
You said your cousin was applying to Ryouou.
What happened with that?

Konata:
She got accepted.
And since she lives so far away, she's gonna stay at my place
starting next month.
She's always been like a little sister,
and we've been talking a lot about her moving-in.

Kagami:
That's awesome.
But compared to you, isn't it gonna be hard to tell which of you
is the little sister?

Konata:
You don't get it.
When I say she is little, she is little like way little.

Kagami:
She's that small!?

Tsukasa
The fact she got accepted without any hitches must mean
she's super smart.

Kagami:
Well, someone sounding confident today,
the school accepted you, didn’t it?

Tsukasa
Yeah, but I barely made it. It still counts though.

Kagami:

I just remembered we have to take our college entrance exams
next year.
Oh, brother, we're gonna be studying forever.

Tsukasa
That's gonna be nasty.

Konata:
Oh, no, should I take the exams? I don’t have any plans for the future.

Kagami:
You really need to start thinking about your future.

Konata:
Huh, “academic” and “labor” are words that just don’t exist
in my vocabulary.

Kagami:
I wonder what someone like her could do for a living?

She could design games, ’cause that's her hobby anyway.

Konata:
I design games. 'Cause it's my hobby.


Kagami:
She can make her own manga and sell it at Comiket.

Konata:
"Megassa, smoked cheese nyoro-n"

Kagami:
She is naturally curious so she could be a reporter.

Konata:
"There is only one truth. And this is it.”

Kagami:
No, maybe she becomes a writer who writes for a specific genre.

Konata:
These days xxx and teen novel. That's xxx.


Kagami:
She is good with computers, maybe a web designer.

Konata:
"(?I won’t compromise on this point)"

Kagami:
Or a screen writer who writes about random things that don’t have a plot.

Konata:
If I shoot enough bullets, one of them has to hit.

Kagami:
Or she goes to college.
Or, maybe it's all the same damn thing.

Konata:
Huh, what?


Konata:
Huumm?

Sales clerk G:
Ugh!

Sales Clerks:
Huh?

Anizawa:
What's up?

Sales clerk G:
She's here.
Boss, it's really her, the legendary girl, “A”!

Anizawa:
WHAT?!
We let her get away from us last time.

Sales clerks:
Boss. Boss. Boss.

Anizawa:
But not today.
Through do everything in our power to make sure
that the legendary girl A gets to the cash register!

Konata:
Humm?

Sales clerk G:
Giro, she's having a hard time deciding.

Anizawa:
Hahaha, then it's up to us to make her purchasing decisions
for her.
All right people, you're ready?

Sales clerks:
YEAH!

Anizawa:
Say what.

Sales clerks:
YEAH!

Anizawa:
Say what.

Sales clerks:
YEAH!

Anizawa:
Say what!

Sales clerks:
YEAH, YOU KNOW IT!

Konata:
Humm...

Sales clerk G:
I have a visual, boss.
I'm gonna try to figure out what the legendary girl A is looking for.

Anizawa:
I'm counting on you.
What’s the newest manga?

Sales clerk K:
It's Sergeant Flog, volume 14, sir.

Anizawa:
Perfect! Make sure you display them
in the legendary girl A's line of sight.
Deploy our flyers!

Sales clerk T:
Tama.

Sales clerk S, K:
Locked and loaded, sir.

Anizawa:
Good, keep an eye on her movements.
Make sure our best sellers are flanking the legendary girl A
as she approaches the register.

Sales clerk S, K:
Roger, sir.

Sales clerk G:
Ugh! The legendary girl A is not looking for manga,
repeat, not looking for manga.

Anizawa:
What?!

Sales clerk G:
Boss, she’s headed for the DVD section.

Anizawa:
Fantastic!
I want blockades upon both sides of the aisle.
We’re gonna funnel the legendary girl A straight in the new releases.

Sales clerk T, K:
Roger, sir.

Sales clerk T:
Oops! Sorry, am I in your way? Tama. Tama.

Sales clerk K:
Oh! I'm so very sorry.

Sales clerk T, K:
Kero kero kero kero tamarincho.

Anizawa:
That a girl.

Sales clerk G:
Uh! Boss, finally we got her!
She’s gonna buy something!

Anizawa:
I did it. I won. I beat her.
We’re gonna party like rock stars tonight! You hear me?

Sales clerks:
Whoo-hoo! Sir.

Sales clerk G:
She feint us out.

Anizawa:
Ahhhh!

Konata:
Oh.

Anizawa:
This calls for my secret weapon.
Bring me that ultra-rare out-of-print bargain bin DVD, girl.

Sales clerk G:

Boss, she’s headed straight for you.

Anizawa:
Yes, that’s it.
This is so beautiful. I never want this scene to end.
The entire U.S. of A inside me is all cheering and applauding.

Sales clerk T, K:
Yay, boss, yes sir.

Anizawa:
One thousand seven hundred and eighty five yen, please.

Konata:
Darn it!
I'm short three yen.
Oh, well, could you guys put it back for me, thanks.

Anizawa:
Aaah! Foiled again!


Lucky Channel


Akira:
Hiya luckies!
All righty, let’s get this thing moving already.
I can’t believe Lucky Channel’s on its thirteenth episode.
Isn’t that amazing?
I’m your navigator Akira Kogami.
But you guys knew that already, didn’t you?
I bet you did, aha!

Minoru:
Nice to see you again.
I’m Minoru Shiraishi, Akira-sama’s faithful assistant.
Isn’t this great?
We are on our thirteenth episode,
and that means we’re on the second season.
In fact, getting this far’s a lot like reaching the halfway station on Mt. Fuji.
Isn’t that right, Akira-sama?

Akira:
Huh? You can get to the halfway station by car, you idiot.

Minoru:
Well, of course, you can.
I was just saying.
Oh, that's right.
This one time I climbed to the top of Mt.Takao..

Akira:
What are you, blind?
Aren’t you going to say anything?
D,d,d,d….drills.

Minoru:
Oh my, Akira-sama, those twin-drills you’re sporting are really cool.

Akira:
What’s so cool about them, slack-jawed?

Minoru:
Well, they are all round up like a couple of seashells.

Akira:
Huh, d,d,drill.

Minoru:
Oh, that’s right!
Today we’re announcing of the results of
our very own Lucky Star Action Figure Project.
Akira-sama, if you’d be so kind as to announce the winner.

Akira:
Konata Izumi gets her very own action figure well deep freaking dude.

Minoru:
Akira-sama, read it properly.
Congratulations. Wow ho!

Akira:
Uhg! Was there any doubt she’d win?
This thing was rigged from the beginning.
So basically the radio show and the L.C. aren’t important.
Is that it?
Oh, sure, it's all about the main segment...

Minoru:
You got it all wrong. We are important, aren’t we?
Uh huh.
You see? The producer says we’re important.
There it is.

Akira:
Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm used to getting
bent over all the time anyways.
I don’t really care anymore.

Minoru:
Bent over is not a very nice way of putting it.

Akira:
Yeah, but you're all torn up about it.
And next you’re gonna tell me that they made an action figure
out of you.
Isn’t that right?

Minoru:
No, of course not, God forbid!

Akira:
Any crap Konata Izumi gets her very own action figure
and as the booby prize Minoru Shiraishi gets one too.
You’ve got be freaking kidding.

Minoru:
Not good.
Oh, it looks like our time’s up for today.
Keep sending us your comments, questions and any good things
you might have to say about the show.
You can use our homepage if you want or you can send your letters
the old-fashioned way.
Right, Akira-sama?

Akira:
I’m going.

Minoru:
Whoa, wait a second.
B, by-nee.

Akira-sama, wait up.

Akira:
Okay, people, listen up.

Minoru:
D, drill!

Preview


Private T:
On the next episode of Sergeant Frog.

Corporal G
No! Say “On the next episode of Lucky Star”!

Sgt. K:
Gero Gero, sir. I just thought of something awesome.
Did you know that anime is a global industry?
We could use it to brainwash the Pekoponians
and complete our invasion of Pekopon in no time.

Private T:
Oh, Sarge. You're so smart!

Corporal G
Ha, pathetic, why don’t you act like a soldier
and crush them with brute force.

Sgt. K:
Shut up, you red daruma.

Corporal G
Ugh?!

Sgt. K:
These days the one with the information wins the war.
But thing is that you're so old you probably don't get it.

Corporal G
Watch your mouth, damn you!

Sgt. K:
Yeah, whatever, next time ”Under One Roof”.

Private T:
Look forward to it.

Sgt. K:
Ge gero.