Sgt. Frog > 001a. Meet The Sergeant!

Narrator:
Planet Earth, 200...uh...9 ①. The human race found itself under attack by a mysterious alien swarm. UFOs darkened the sky, then set it ablaze with a fearsome and blinding light. These beams were cruel and relentless. Trillions fled in terror, but there was nowhere to run. Human technology was no match for the invader's weapons. Police and military were quickly overwhelmed. Within hours of first contact, mankind was brought to its knees, forced to surrender to eons of slavery. Wait, none of that happened. You just made me lie to the audience? ②

Mr. Caption ③:
Get used to it. It's gonna happen all the time.

Narrator:
What kind of show is this!?

---
Keroro:
Kero kero kero kero kero...foolish Pekoponians! You have no idea what's in store for your pathetically long-legged race. Bow down to his superior stubbiness, desperately sing praises to your new king!
All hail Sergeant Keroro!

[ Keroro: Meet the Sergeant! ...that's me! ]

Keroro:
The ferocity! The power! You've taken my greatest weapon, ape creatures, but now I have yours! Soon, your planet will be conquered and free of unsightly dust!

Mr. Caption:
By the way, I'm Mr. Caption...
Way cooler than Narrator.

[実のキャプション英訳: The strongest cleaning frog in the universe / LEGEND]

Narrator:
Talking frog alien riding on a Hoover...that kind of show, got it.

Natsumi:
Aaaaagh!

Keroro:
Surrender your world and make me pie!

Natsumi:
I don't have time for your dumb games!

Keroro:
Wait...no, I am serious here! You fear me!

Natsumi:
You can't conquer us, okay!?

Keroro:
What!? But I have to! It's my only reason for existence!

Natsumi:
Well, you won't exist much longer if you don't TURN...THAT...OFF! Seriously, other girls don't have to deal with this!!

Keroro:
What's wrong with her? Why won't she accept defeat and slavery with grace!?

Fuyuki:
Oh, no! Sounds like the Sarge is in trouble!

Narrator:
Okay, I've been flipping through the script, so I'll try to explain. Uh, apparently this kid's named "Fuyuki" and he's got this kero ball--sorry, I came to this project really late.

Fuyuki:
I'll save you!

Narrator:
Oh, gee.

Mr. Caption:
If he's dead, can we eat him? (I call a frog leg)

[実のキャプション英訳: FINISHED]

Fuyuki:
Sorry, I'm still learning this thing. I meant to hit "instant transport," but I guess it's this button here instead. I think I hit "instant death shock." Sorry.

Keroro:
Buddy boy, you're gonna have to be more careful with that. The kero ball could destroy your planet with a single press of a button...it's the one next to "dance party."
So, in the interest of public safety, I'm thinking you should just go ahead and give it back to me.

Natsumi:
Like we'd give you weapons when you just tried to enslave me with the vacuum! If it were my call, you'd be sold to Ripley's ④ by now.
Have you even scrubbed the bathtub like I told you to? Because lazy frogs DO NOT get dinner!

Keroro:
Dinner? Are we gonna get to eat more cow?

Natsumi:
Yup! It's beef stew.

Keroro:
Ooooh! Cow flesh! Cow flesh! Cow flesh! Victory wiggle! I'll make your bathtub reek of bleach and pride, sir!

---

Aki:
I wonder how our frog is doing. Kids, I'm home!

Natsumi:
In the kitchen, mom! I thought you had to work late tonight.

Aki:
Yeah, the artist says he draws faster in his underwear and I didn't wanna stay for that. Ooh, something smells good.

Natsumi:
Yeah, I didn't burn it this time!

Aki:
I have got great news to tell you!

Natsumi:
Cool, well, what is it?
WHAT!??!

Mr. Caption:
You've made it! You've really made it!

[実のキャプション英訳: DEEP EMOTION]

Keroro:
My own room!? You freakin' serious!?

Natsumi:
You can't do that! I'm so not there!

Aki:
Why not? I mean, he is part of the family, isn't he?

Natsumi:
No, he's not! He's an invader who totally sucks at his job!

Aki:
What's the big deal? We have an extra room.

Fuyuki:
What do you mean? Are you talking about the coat closet?

Keroro:
Please, somebody gently pinch me!

Mr. Caption:
Private Quarters = Maximum Awesome

[実のキャプション英訳: PRIVATE USE]

Keroro:
This is a dream because private quarters means STATUS and tinkling with the door open so you can watch TV!
And without Pekoponians looking over my shoulder, I can plan secret ways to overthrow them and continue with the frog invasion! Oh, yeah, sucka!
Don't worry, once I get settled, I'll invite you all to the celebratory room-warming party. I'll even have cube cheese and cocktail weenies! Super jealous, aren't ya?

Natsumi:
If this is what mom wants, then I can't stop it...but I WILL crush you if you try ANY of your dumb schemes in there!

Keroro:
Who, me?

---

Aki:
It's down here. Used to be a bomb shelter, I think...or a supervillain hideout.

Fuyuki:
How come I never knew about this?

Aki:
It's only the first episode, dear. ⑤

Natsumi:
Alls I'm saying is this had better not be bigger than my room.

Keroro:
Can't wait, can't wait, let me see, let me see!
Uh...what's with all this crap in my room?

Aki:
I knew you'd love it! I want you to renovate it however you like! Anything that won't cost me money! Make it look exactly like your alien world with laser beds or swamp tanks or whatever! Something so exotic that it would inspire any writer who saw it! Hypothetically!

Natsumi and Fuyuki:
That's what she's up to.

Narrator:
I can help here, I think. According to the show bible, the mom's named "Aki", edits comic books, and wants to exploit this alien for story ideas. Hmm, good plan.

Keroro:
The air down here's so muggy...ooh, just like a fancy Keronian health-thought spa!

Mr. Caption:
Frogs dig water. Space frogs, too.

[実のキャプション英訳: DAMP (or) HUMID]

Fuyuki:
Although I'm kinda getting a creepy feeling in here.

Aki:
Oh, don't be silly.

Natsumi:
He's right 'cause, like, suddenly, my shoulders feel so heavy...I'm...freaking out....

Aki:
Well, let's give him some privacy, alrighty?

Keroro:
Psst, buddy. You think you --- give me back my kero ball for just a bit? It's not for anything diabolical, of course. I'm just storing some cool stuff in there.

Fuyuki:
Well, I guess. But you can't tell my sister, okay? And you promise you'll behave?

Keroro:
I cross my widdle heart.
Kero kero kero...the key to this world's undoing is mine again...bad move, my Pekoponian friend. The kero ball recharged itself earlier this morning. That should be plenty of energy to enslave you all! I'm so smart! Oh! Oh, no! If I enslave the world, the ball won't have enough juice to fix up my new room for at LEAST a week! Oh, man...tough call....

---

Aki:
So you see, kids, it's really no big deal. I never told you about the room 'cause it's haunted by a crazed, psychotic ghost girl. That's all.

Fuyuki:
Say what?

Aki:
Our house was built over a feudal prison, which was built over a cemetery, which was built over a dark cavern that may lead to the underworld, some junk like that. Anyway, an innocent girl was imprisoned down there, yadda yadda....

Natsumi:
Yadda yadda!?

Aki:
Yeah, supposedly, she haunts the room and vow to torment any [human?] soul that[/who ever?] tries to live down there! Yeah, it really worked out for me because no one wanted the house, so I got a great deal on it. Plus, we've combined a ghost WITH an alien now! Can you imagine the stories I'll get from that!?

Fuyuki:
Whoa, it's haunted? Well, that explains the weird feeling...wait, if that's true...Sergeant!

Aki:
Fuyuki?

Fuyuki:
She could torment frog aliens, too! Agh! Seriously, mom, this is bad hosting etiquette!
It's stuck! What do I do now? I could lose him forever....

Aki:
No, I need him for ideas!

Natsumi:
And chores!

Aki:
One...two...three!

Keroro:
Uh...yeah, what's up with you guys? I was just making a mixtape on the theme of karaoke and regret.

Natsumi:
Uh...what happened to the creepy basement?

Fuyuki:
Total bachelor pad!

Aki:
This isn't an alien ghost lair at all....

Natsumi:
Did you rob a cheap, Swedish furniture store?⑥

Keroro:
Making all this stuff was a cinch using the kero ball!

Natsumi:
How did you get that!?

Keroro:
As promised, you're slavery-free!

Natsumi:
You gave him his weapon!?

Fuyuki:
What? We're all still alive, aren't we?

Natsumi:
Luckily, we're dealing with the stupidest alien conqueror EVER.

Keroro:
You're reflecting on my genius as a home decorator, aren't you? What's that? You'd wish I'd do your room, too? You, can't, help, but, be-e-e-e jealous.

Natsumi:
Yeah, I'm so not jealous at all.

Narrator:
Yes, she is. Horribly, painfully, so screamingly jealous.

Natsumi:
Stop reading my thoughts.

Mr. Caption:
You want my Life!
Unless you're stupid.

[実のキャプション英訳: A comfortable life]

Keroro:
For a city-dweller to live in comfort, web searching and e-mail are a must, and boomboxes are lame for listening to CDs, so I had to get the whole Dolby system, of course; how else am I going to listen to our awesome ending credits song!? Seriously, you got to go LCD or you gots to go! And no less than 120MHz or what's the point, am I right? Kero kero kero! Yes, this is the life, kids! This is the life!

Mr. Caption:
Run for your life!

[実のキャプション英訳: A mysterious life]

Natsumi & Aki:
Aaah....

Keroro:
What, has my superiority scared you?

Natsumi & Aki:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Keroro:
Don't run! I can help you deal with it! You just need to shatter your own self-esteem!

Fuyuki:
I'm a paranormal magnet! Aww, yeah!

Narrator:
There you have it. A typical night at the Hinata home...but if you're like this narrator, you're wondering how they got a frog alien in the first place. Here comes the flashback! Hey, I'm gettin' the hang of this.



ノート
①キャプションは「西暦 2004年」を表示していますが、英語吹き替えの第1巻(第1-13話)は2009年に発売されました。
②英語吹き替えでは多くの吹き替え版のオリジナルネタが使われています。
③英語吹き替えでは独自の「字幕キャラ」が存在します。字幕キャラが日本語版のキャプションと意味が違っている場合、「実のキャ プション英訳」をつけています。
④「Ripley's Believe It or Not」への言及です
⑤また、この吹き替えは第4の壁をよく破ります。  (第4の壁:演じる側と観る側の世界を隔てている仮想の壁)
⑥「IKEA」という家具店への言及かもしれません