Narrator:
In this infinitely large universe, there exists a prep school.
Fumizuki Academy has been designed to ensure its students can survive taking fiercely competitive entrance exams.
It's a school for academic warriors. Intelligence is their only weapon.
Each student puts the prestige of their entire school on the line by making maximal use of his or her best subjects, thereby, overrunning competitors' strategies.
Those with the most power will win each match as well accolades and the right to enjoy a comfortable school life.
Those who fail will not be so privileged.
Their lives become what can only be described as an indescribable hell.
This is the story of academic warriors who stood up to such a cruel fate with high hopes and cerebral stems blazing.
And here is what happened when those same warriors lost a Summoner Test War on a day that was very much like today.

Akihisa:
What?!
How much is it before the student discount?
For a medium soda, come on!
They'd better be drizzling this popcorn with gold sauce!
I'm spending all this so I can hang out for a couple hours?
These theaters are filled with evil and hate.

Mizuki:
So what do you think?

Akihisa:
Uh... Think about what?

Mizuki:
This one! Wanna see it?!

Minami:
Yeah, that's a great idea.
We're gonna see that one, 'kay?

Akihisa:
I... uh... Hey, why don't you two see it without me?

Mizuki, Minami:
What?!

Minami:
But we want...

Mizuki:
What?! Why?!

Minami:
Fine, we'll see an anime.

Akihisa:
That's not it! It's not the movie!

Yuuji:
You're not gonna get out of this, Akihisa.

Everyone:
Ah!

Yuuji:
We've lost the battle. Just accept it.

Akihisa:
What the...

Shouko:
You pick, we'll see whatever you want.

Yuuji:
I wanna see my wrists.

Shouko:
Apocalypse Now Redux, a great choice.

Yuuji:
Oh, hell no! That thing runs over 3 hours!

Shouko:
We'll watch it two times.

Yuuji:
That's longer than all the day's classes combined!

Shouko:
Then it's perfect.
This'll make up for all the time I usually lose with you since we're in different classes.

Yuuji:
That's it. I'm out!

Shouko:
Oh, yeah? I don't think so...

Yuuji:
You think what? Oh, crap! What's that?!
Argh!

Shouko:
Next two showings, two please.

Staff:
'Kay! One student and one passed-out to watch it twice for no reason.

Mizuki:
Aren't they just perfect together?

Minami:
The perfectest!

-- OP --

-- Episode 3: "Food Budget, Dates, and Stun Guns" --

Narrator:
This is Akihisa Yoshii.
His parents are working overseas and his older sister is studying abroad, which means he is again enjoying another morning here at home alone.

Akihisa:
Hello, breakfast. Prepare to die!
Thanks to your great sacrifice, dinner will be massive.
Hmm... Well, maybe not massive, but at least slightly bigger than the breakfast half.

Narrator:
Enjoying himself a little too much, perhaps.


Akihisa:
Oh, hey, Mr. Fukuhara. How's it going today?

Mr. Fukuhara:
Ah, good morning.


Akihisa:
Aw!
Please don't be broken, Please don't be broken.

Kubo:
Yoshii! Yoshii from Class F.

Akihisa:
Yeah, you're Kubo from Class A, that right?

Kubo:
Correct. Toshimitsu Kubo, second Year, rank 2.
I'm running late.
If you please excuse me, I must prepare for class.
Later.

Akihisa:
Hold on!

Kubo:
What is it?

Akihisa:
Are you gonna eat that?

Kubo:
Of course not. It's contaminated.

Akihisa:
Yeah, gross. Can I have it?

Kubo:
Ah?!
Please don't tell me you're going to eat that.

Akihisa:
Why not? It doesn't bother me.

Kubo:
Of course. It's because my lips have already caressed it.

Akihisa:
Thirty second rule, it's totally fine.
I didn't even see there an ant.

Kubo:
Actually, I prefer that you'd not.

Akihisa:
What?! Are you serious?!

Kubo:
That was a little forward, don't you think?
Besides, there're others watching.

Akihisa:
All right. Guess that's too weird.

Kubo:
Quite. See you another time then.

Akihisa:
Sure. Bye.

It's lunch time!

Mr. Fukuhara:
Hm?
Uh-oh, I think I stepped in something.

Akihisa:
It's cool. Just my lunch but who needs food these days...


Akihisa:
Ah, good morning, Himeji!?

Mizuki:
Yes, a-ah...! I good morning, I mean.

Akihisa:
That letter...
I wonder if it's a love note for Yuuji.
But he's with Shouko, so then...

Yuuji:
Wow, look who decided to be early for a change.

Akihisa:
Ah...

Yuuji:
So, how'd it go yesterday?

Akihisa:
Great.
I watched a movie and then my food budget did a disappearing act.
You?

Yuuji:
I woke up during the scene where a buffalo was tied to a pole and killed.

Akihisa:
Huh?

Yuuji:
I thought it would be the perfect time to escape, then an angry electric shock knocked me unconscious again.
When I woke up, it was the same buffalo scene!

Akihisa:
You really watched it twice?

Yuuji:
6 hours.
I gave up trying to run away.
Nothing is worth getting electrocuted and the last thing I wanted was to wake up to the worst scene in cinematic history.

Akihisa:
I'm so sorry.
You never even got to see the first half of the movie.
What am I gonna do for food until my parents can send more money?

Yuuji:
You have a crap ton of games you can sell.

Akihisa:
Sacrilege!
Those are brilliant works xxx from the minds of geniuses.
You can't just trade them for some noodles and a sandwich.

Yuuji:
Have you ever heard the saying, "You reap what you sow"?

Akihisa:
Yes! And don't you lecture me, mister!
I still have food, this is life-or-death here!

Yuuji:
Akihisa...
Do you honestly think you're the only one who has any fears?

Akihisa:
I'm sorry...

Yuuji:
It's okay.


Akihisa:
No fricking way, I didn't think they could find equipment that was worse than ours.
Guess we have you to thank.
Look what you've done to us!

Yuuji:
Throwing a tantrum isn't going to change things.
And for the record, it wasn't just me. I'll have you know.

Akihisa:
But you're the one who lost it!

Minami:
Aki, what's wrong with you?

Akihisa:
Hm?

Minami:
You have no right to point fingers at anyone.
Every single one of us screwed up during the war at some point.

Akihisa:
Yeah, you're right...
I'm sorry, Yuuji. It wasn't just you.
Lady Minami also have...

Minami:
Lady Minami, huh?
Are you trying to mock me?!

Akihisa:
You told me to call you that, remember?

Minami:
You... just call me Minami!

Akihisa:
Minami didn't make us lose. She was just wrong...
Aw! Stop, you're squeezing my temples to tight!
I'm gonna go blind!

Kouta:
All right, I'm bored with this.

Akihisa:
I'm not wrong, we were all counting on him!
It was an elementary school level test and he couldn't score 100!

Mizuki:
You shouldn't be so hard on poor Yuuji.
I still love this room, even though it might look a little different right now.

Akihisa:
I knew it... She likes Yuuji...

Mizuki:
At least in this class I can choose to sit anywhere I want.

Mr. Nishimura:
Ding-ding-ding-dong...!
Hey, it's homeroom time, kids!
Everyone, have a...
Oh, you're already sitting, perfect.

Minami:
Um, why are you here, Mr. Nishimura?

Mr. Nishimura:
Well, we figured you were tired of being stupid, so we're gonna help you bring up your poor test scores.
Someone came to the brilliant conclusion that since I'm in charge of remedial classes that I should also be your new homeroom teacher!

Everyone:
Our what?!

Mr. Fukuhara:
Leaving me, well, to take over the roll of your narrator.

Everyone:
Our what?!

Akihisa:
Iron Man is our teacher now?!

Mr. Nishimura:
Prepare to fly vigorously and mercilessly through the wringer!

Akihisa:
Ahh...
They seriously want us to be top of the devil every day?

Hideyoshi:
It's abusive.
There has to be something we can do about this.

Akihisa:
There is!
We just have to fight in a Summoner Test War and win.

Yuuji:
It's not that easy.

Akihisa:
Why not?!

Yuuji:
The rules say that once a class loses they can't declare a war for three months.

Akihisa:
Three!

Hideyoshi:
Yup. But it'll go by fast, you'll see.
Plenty of time for us to come up with a new strategy.

Akihisa:
Ahh, my life is so much harder than everyone else's!

Kouta:
Look on the bright side, man.

Akihisa:
Hm?

Kouta:
Just 500 yen.

Akihisa:
Hell yeah!

Kouta:
A pleasure as always!

Akihisa:
It looks like xxx too, I can tell! Thanks, man!

Yuuji:
So much for your food budget.

Akihisa:
Argh!

Hideyoshi:
Are you gonna be all right over there?

Akihisa:
I don't care, I'm a man with needs, damn it!

Yuuji:
What a brave man.

Akihisa:
It's fine, I'll just have one cup of noodle a day until I have more money.
Totally worth it!

Hideyoshi:
Great plan, but... there's something you're probably not thinking about.

Akihisa:
Huh?

Mizuki:
There you are! I've been looking for you!

Minami:
Yeah, so... What's the deal?
Where are we going this weekend and what time are we meeting you?

Akihisa:
Meeting? What?!

Minami:
I know you didn't forget about this.
I believe I scored some crepes, didn't I?

Akihisa:
What?! W-Wait a minute!
What about the time I took you guys to the movies?

Minami:
Um, that was yesterday.
And I was promised crepes.

Mizuki:
Oh, that sounds like fun.
Would you mind if I join you?

Akihisa:
Pay for both of you?!

Mizuki:
While we're out, there is this really great movie I've been dying to see with you, Yoshii.

Akihisa:
Yeah, great. My food budget...!


-- EYE CATCH --


Narrator:
It's been just one week since the new narrator started.
And our cup of noodle artisan is at work early.

Akihisa:
Right there.
Now we've got dinner and... Ah?!
Oh snap, if I only eat one half now, I'll have the other half for later and I can make two halves out of that!
And then I'll just cut another half in half and half two more, which makes if I keep doing that, I can probably create millions of small meals out of one cup of noodles which would feed me forever!
And that would make me... a genius.

Narrator:
His enjoyment was multiplied.


Akihisa:
Okay, there's gotta be a way to do this, and not completely waste money, right?
Oh, wait! Problem solved!
Even though I'm going out to movies and buying overpriced crepes, I'm doing it with girls, which automatically makes it a date, doesn't it?

I rule. I didn't lose anything!
I'm just going on a date, so of course, I'm spending a little extra.
I'm a guy that's what we do on dates, so it's totally fine!
Hey, Himeji!

Mizuki:
Hehe.

Akihisa:
No way! Is that...
I was wrong... This isn't a date

Minami:
What're you doing over there, Aki?

Akihisa:
Hm?

Minami:
Hehehe.

Akihisa:
Oh, you know, just getting beaten down by the cruelty of life.

Mizuki:
Hi, Yoshii!

Minami:
Hey, Mizuki! You look adorable today.
I love that outfit.

Mizuki:
Thank you, that's so sweet.
It took me forever to decide on it.
I was so afraid I was gonna be late.

Minami:
I know what you mean.
I didn't decide on this till I was out the door.
I'm so glad this shirt from last year still fits.

Akihisa:
Yeah, having eternal mosquito bites probably helps that.
That makes it okay for you to twist my knees in the wrong direction...
Argh!
I didn't even finish what I was saying!

Minami:
Didn't have to.
I can smell your thoughts, and they stink!

Akihisa:
Hand me the rope, please!

Kouta:
Oh, perfect!
That's not half bad.

Akihisa:
What the hell is Mcpervert doing here?

Kouta:
Independent study.

Mizuki:
Which one do you wanna see, Yoshii?

Minami:
Yeah, we thought we'd let you pick today.

Akihisa:
Me?!

They're all the same price, right?
So seeing the the longest one they have is probably the best deal.

Shouko:
Take your pick, Yuuji.

Everyone:
Ah!

Yuuji:
Any movies that I want?
There're so many I'll have to think.

Shouko:
War and Peace, good choice.

Yuuji:
I didn't say that. It's a 7 hour feature!

Shouko:
We'll watch it twice.

Yuuji:
No!
I can't sit still for 14 hours!

Shouko:
If you get bored... you can just take a nap.

Yuuji:
Argh!

Shouko:
I'll right be with Yuuji, so I don't care if you just have naps.
Two students for the next two showings.

Staff:
'Kay! That's one student and one cute zombie to watch the next two showings for no reason at all.

Mizuki:
It's so great. They're able to express their feelings toward each other.

Minami:
They're so lucky!

Akihisa:
Maybe the shorter one would be better.


Minami:
Are you sure you're not gonna get anything?

Mizuki:
They're really good.

Akihisa:
Oh, no. See, what's weird is I'm actually a food snob.
And I'm afraid the crepes just aren't my thing.
Oh, I've gotta save something or I'm not gonna have any money to eat tomorrow.

Minami:
Oh, that's too bad.
I'm already pretty full from this banana crepe.
I was gonna see if you wanted to help me finish eating it.

Akihisa:
Ah...

Mizuki:
I wanted you to share my strawberry crepe, too, but...
It's too bad that's you're a food snob, but I had no idea.

Akihisa:
Arh....

Minami
But I guess you can't help it

Mizuki:
Oh, well, I'll just throw out the rest.

Akihisa:
What the heck is wrong with me?!
How can I be so stupid!
I missed my chance to share a crepe kiss with Himeji.
One bite of a crepe probably has more calories and nutrition in it than my entire breakfast.

Minami:
You should try it.
One bite won't kill you.

Akihisa:
Uh...

Minami:
Oh, come on. It's good!

Akihisa:
Well, I guess if you insist...

Mizuki:
Ah, Yoshii wait!
I want you to try mine, too!

Minami:
Mine first!

Mizuki:
Don't be ridiculous.
It doesn't matter what he tries first.

Minami, Mizuki:
Say "Ah, ah"!

Miharu:
Don't even think about it.

Everyone:
Ah!

Miharu:
I can't believe what I'm seeing!
You weren't really gonna let your sweet lip caress for coming contact with that filthy rat to share your crepe with him!
He was harassing you, wasn't he?
Listen up, pig! Your disgusting rude boy's day is over.

Akihisa:
Wait, pig?

Miharu:
Justice is about to be served!

Akihisa:
What?! Are you talking to me?!
Ah! Move out, move out!
Oh no, the crepes...
It's okay, it hasn't been 30 seconds yet...

Miharu:
Just give it up, pig!

Minami:
Miharu, stop it!

Mizuki:
Wait for me, you guys!

Kubo:
My dear Yoshii...
You've made a mess of my face.

Akihisa:
I don't understand. What did I do?

Minami:
Nothing. She's just crazy!

Akihisa:
Yeah, I got that.

Hideyoshi:
Hey, what's going on, guys?
How's everyone doing today?

Akihisa:
Magical. Come on, we gotta go!

Hideyoshi:
What the...

Miharu:
Get back here, pig!
If you get one ounce of your gross on my angel, I'll burn your filthy bones to a crisp!

Akihisa:
Ah...

Minami:
What?
Oh excuse me, food snob. What did I do?

Akihisa:
Nothing.
I just don't want her to burn my bones.

Hideyoshi:
I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that you guys are running away from someone?

Akihisa:
I'm trying, but there doesn't seem to be any easy way to do that.
If I could just use my Avatar right now, that would solve everything.

Mizuki:
I'm sorry the summoning system won't work outside of the academy.

Minami:
Lame.

Hideyoshi:
It's a good thing I just happen to have a costume from Drama Class with me.
You can put it on and use it as a disguise.

Akihisa:
That's genius.
I don't think this is something I should be wearing.

Hideyoshi:
Oh, I hadn't looked.
I just assumed it would work.
But it doesn't really look like it's meant for a guy, does it?

Akihisa:
Of course not!
And it's something that's meant for you to wear.

Mizuki:
I don't know why but he looks absolutely adorable.

Minami:
What's happening to my body right now?

Akihisa:
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Miharu:
There you are! I knew I'd find...
What the crap? Is that a dress?

Akihisa:
Well, I don't know. Does it look like one?

Miharu:
If you think dressing like a girl is all it's gonna take to replace me in my honey muffin's eyes, you're not only an idiot, your dead one!

Akihisa:
No wait, you've got it all wrong.

Minami:
Yeah, starting with the fact that I'm not into girls.

Miharu:
You tried to come between something that is sacred and pure.
And now you're gonna pay for it!

Akihisa:
But I didn't do anything!

Hideyoshi:
That didn't work out the way I thought it would.

Kouta:
But in some ways, it was better.

Akihisa:
She's still back there. What do we do?!

Minami:
I don't know.
Maybe if we split up, it'll throw her off!

Akihisa:
What?! This is gonna make it easier for her to get me!

Mizuki:
I know. Why don't we go to the academy?
We can use our Avatars there.

Minami, Akihisa:
Great idea, Mizuki.

Akihisa:
Yes!
A teacher!

Minami:
That's Ms. Takeuchi! She teaches modern Japanese that's not gonna work.

Akihisa:
You'll be fine, we don't have much choice.

Mizuki:
Ms. Takeuchi!
We were wondering if we could practice an STWar.

Ms. Takeuchi:
Oh, oh sure. I don't see why not.

Akihisa:
Okay! Time I summon my Avatar... Summon!

Minami:
Summoning Avatar. Summon!

Mizuki:
Avatar...
Summon!

Miharu:
Ah, how rude!
I'll teach you to come between me and my love!
Summon!

Akihisa:
If we've got Himeji's Avatar, it's gonna be fine!
You guys, ready to win this thing?!

Mizuki:
I'm so sorry, Shimizu.

Miharu:
Yeah, you're gonna be...

Minami:
What?!

Mr. Nishimura:
Those who died meet me in the remedial classroom!

Minami:
Now? But it's a holiday!

Miharu:
A remedial class with the devil is like heaven when I'm with you.

Minami:
Ah...

Miharu:
Just me and my sweet muffin.

Mr. Nishimura:
You know, Yoshii. Self-discovery... is a good thing.

Akihisa:
This isn't mine!


Akihisa:
Ahh... I'm so exhausted.

Mizuki:
Me too.
I wonder if Minami and Miharu are okay.

Akihisa:
I'm sure that whack job is perfectly fine being anywhere with Minami.

Mizuki:
Yeah, you're right...
Yoshii... I'm sorry.

Akihisa:
Huh?

Mizuki:
I mean I had a lot of fun, but if we hadn't dragged you around and hold all day then, you wouldn't have had to deal with Miharu.

Akihisa:
It's okay.
I had a lot of fun today, too, 'cause... I was with you.

Mizuki:
You're sweet, Yoshii.
I've always thought so... ever since we were in grade school.

Akihisa:
Huh?

Mizuki:
I was thinking about that time we took the placement test and I got really sick in the middle of it.
I had to leave class and you told the teacher it wasn't fair to give me a zero because I couldn't help it.


Akihisa:
Yeah, and then he was a jerkwad and he said that staying healthy was like part of the test.
Man, talk about failure, huh?

Mizuki:
What about the STWar we did the other day?
You suggested it with me in mind, didn't you?

Akihisa:
What?

Mizuki:
Yuuji told me.

Akihisa:
He did?

Mizuki:
Thank you...
It made me happy.

Akihisa:
Sure.
Uh, Himeji...

Mizuki:
Yes?

Akihisa:
Uh... I wanted to ask about the letter you were holding the other day...
What was it really?

Mizuki:
You mean this one?
It might sound silly but... it's a chain letter just like you said.

Akihisa:
Ahh!

Mizuki:
I've been cursed, kept forgetting about it.
You have three days to mail it or something bad's supposed to happen.
Or I guess... maybe I was too afraid to mail it... and now it's been three days.
And I can tell that this one is extra cursed too.
I mean, look how much has already happened, it just breaks my heart to think that I'm the one who caused all of it.

Akihisa:
Sorry... That blows...
Hey, If you want, I can... you know...

Mizuki:
No, it's okay...

Because I know someday... I won't be afraid anymore and can mail it myself.

Akihisa:
I see.

Mizuki:
Yoshii... It would help if... you would be there for me...

Akihisa:
Always. I really hope it works out for you.

Mizuki:
Thank you so much!


-- ED --


Akihisa:
Time for breakfast!

Narrator:
It doesn't look like it's gotten old yet.


Akihisa:
What... the...?

"Dear Yoshii.
I'm sure this letter may come as a surprise to you.
I know you're not accustomed to receiving such things.
But it is the only way and perhaps best way I can think of to express my true feelings."

So, wait! IT'S... A... LOVE LETTER?!

"You're always so cheerful and it's true and I find that your smile not only caresses my soul and warms my heart, but just one look sends a tingle to my..."

Ahh....

"Some day I might be a man enough to express my feelings to you in person.
But until then, take care of yourself.
I'll see you in my dreams, dear sweet, Yoshii."

Hmm... Whoa!
"Man enough"!
It's from a guy!

Yuuji:
Hey, how's it going?
Where did that letter come from?

Kubo:
It's gone! The letter, where did it go?
I just bought that photo too!
It was an original!
Great... Oh well...
I guess it's a good thing I decided to leave the letter anonymous.
This [could've/couldn't have] been bad...

Yuuji:
Ah... No way!
Best of luck, man.

Akihisa:
Ahh!!

Narrator:
You forgot mentioning the enclosed photo.


Mizuki:
You'll see...
Someday I'll do it.


[Preview]

Question 4.

Narrator:
In a popular Mother Goose rhyme, what is described as "being made of sugar, spice and everything nice."?

Akihisa:
Curry and rice!

Narrator:
Little girls, but yes food is nice.

Akihisa:
Next time "Love, Spices, and Boxed Lunches!"

Narrator:
This will be on the test.