Durarara!!>05.False Advertising

<Opening>

Mikado:
I'm Mikado Ryugamine.

Wow, Masaomi! No way!

Masaomi:
There aren't too many color gangs any more.
But they clashed with the gangs in Saitama. Most of 'em got busted.

Anri:
Anri Sonohara. It's nice to meet you.

Mika!
I'm so sorry!

Masaomi:
You wanted to be a real Ikebukurian. Then accept your challenge.

Seiji:
There you are. I've found you.
My love...



Takashi:
I'm sorry... Really I am!
I'll tell you what. I'll give it back! Just let me go!

Celty:
This is bad. Really bad...

Shinra:
Oh... It's my fault, Celty.
It wasn't even that great of a job, I don't know why I took it.

Celty:
The job itself should've been pretty easy.
But then, from outta nowhere, that thing showed up.

Celty's wound:
Inhuman! Monster! Monster! Monster!

Shinra:
You heard a voice come form your wound?

Celty:
It said that I was a monster.

Shinra:
Well now, that's just rude! I prefer enchantress personally.

Celty:
What was it?
What if it was some kinda alien?

Shinra:
Celty... Was that supposed to be a joke?

Takashi:
M-Monster!

Masaomi:
Let's go!
Sometimes, it seems this city is only made up of pranks, impulses, and chance.



Masaomi:
And this could just be another one of God's pranks or impulses.
Here I am, walking home next to a chick that easily tops my list of the 37 girls I fell in love with on the first day of school.
She's a first-rate hottie with glasses. And then, this dork shows up. Totally blows...

Mikado:
You took some guff the other day.

Anri:
Oh, yeah.

Mikado:
Uh...

Masaomi:
This so isn't working.
I sure didn't see that coming. You putting the moves on her before me.

Mikado:
That isn't what I was doing!

Masaomi:
What the... Mikado!

But, you know, it's all good.
I think if I were you, though, I would have taken that shot and scored.
By now, I'd be whispering sweet nothings to her in West Gate Park.
Don't get shocked and go out with me!

Mikado:
Hey! What are you...

Anri:
Um, I'm not...

Masaomi:
It's all right. You don't need to answer right away.
I've got the same offer out to 7 other girls and I still don't know which one I want most.

Mikado:
Don't waste your time trying to make sense of this guy, Anri. It'll just make your head hurt.
I know he likes to act like a playboy, but he's far from it. Last time he hit on girls...

Masaomi:
Okay, you've said enough!
This guy is Mikado Ryugamine, my best friend.
He comes from the sticks and has just been in Ikebukuro a few days.
He's pretty naive, but also really stubborn. So, I can never leave him alone.
And it seems this noob and I have ended up in a bit of love triangle. I guess that's part of being young.

Anri:
I can tell you're good friends.

Masaomi:
Yeah, best friends.

Mikado:
It's the cross I bear.

Masaomi:
As for how we ended up in this mess, well, that goes back to the first day of school.



Seiji:
Seiji Yagiri. It's nice to meet all of you.

Teacher:
Thank you, Seiji. That'll be enough.
Please take your seat and we'll move on.

Seiji:
No, sir.
Listen, I just wanna say I won't be at school for a while.
Well, actually, I'll never be back.
I have my reasons. This is something very important to me.
I gotta go. I can't waste any more time with you people.
Good bye, sir.

Teacher:
Seiji, wait. Please just hold on a second.
Seiji, wait.

Masaomi:
When Mikado told me that story, my first thought was, "Wow, it takes all kinds to make this world."

Anri:
Please! Wait!

Masaomi:
And that was the moment I fell in love!
Cute little smile, bitchen boobs. I guess she wasn't smiling, whatever.

Seiji:
I said I don't know anything!

Anri:
Wait, hold on!

Masaomi:
Hello. Hey, you good down there?

Well, that's the short of how she found herself at the very top of my potential-girlfriend list.
And then...



Takashi:
Hey, Anri. You heading home now?

Anri:
Yeah.

Takashi:
Everything okay, Anri?
If something is bothering you, you can tell me. I'm concerned.
If there's a bully or you're in trouble, let me know.

Anri:
I'm fine.

Takashi:
You sure there isn't something you wanna talk about?

Anri:
No, I'm fine.

Takashi:
Okay. You know, I haven't seen Harima come to school yet.
Even though you're both in the same class now...
I want you to know, it wasn't easy making that happen.
I talked to Mr. Saito from your junior high, he told me to make sure that I'd take extra special care of you.
So you can tell me anything you want, okay?
I know. Why don't I take you home today?
Did you hear? The Slasher was in Ikebukuro again.

Masaomi:
Mr. Nasujima, you sexually harassing her?
Wow, you sure were getting pretty handy there with our class rep, teach.
I mean, if that wasn't sexual harassment, then I sure don't know what is.
So, you like the sexy horosho types.

Takashi:
Kida! Enough with the clowning!
Anri, I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea and start spreading rumors.

Masaomi:
Does she really seem like the gossipy type to you?

Takashi:
No, you got a point. You kids take care.

Masaomi:
And you have nothing to worry about. The only one spreading rumors will be me.
Totally heroic, right? Can you get more awesome than me? How can she not be in love right now?

Mikado:
Masaomi? Anri?

Masaomi:
Of course this is when you would show up.



Masaomi:
Here you go. All yours.

Anri:
Thank you.

Masaomi:
Hey, seriously, watch out for that guy.
He's bad news. Most of it is just rumors, but Nasujima really did go after a student once.

Mikado:
He did what?

Masaomi:
Yeah, an older student named Haruna Niekawa. She transferred out second semester of last year.
Word about them dating spread quickly, then they broke things off so he wouldn't get busted.

Mikado:
Really?

Masaomi:
Maybe Nasujima or the school made her leave, or she left on her own. Either way, she's not here this year.
Hey, if he messes with you, Mikado and I will take him out. Won't we, buddy?

Mikado:
Uh, yeah.
I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do, but if you need my help, I'm glad to do it.

Masaomi:
Dude! Wrong line!
You're supposed to be all, "I don't know what I'm doing, but love is the wind beneath my wings."
Or something like that. Otherwise you're a puss.

Mikado:
Hey, have some manners.

Masaomi:
It's just the truth.

Mikado:
Anyway, about those girls...

Anri:
Huh?

Mikado:
The ones that were bullying you. They're from your junior high, right?

Anri:
How... How did you know that?

Mikado:
Well, it was just some of the things they said to you.
It seemed like there might have been some other girl around who used to stick up for you.
But I guess that girl's gone now and so those girls came back to harass you again.

Masaomi:
Yeah, that's right.
A friend of yours has disappeared. Still no sign of her yet?

Mikado:
It's Mika Harima from our class, right?

Anri:
They're saying that she's just absent from school right now.
But she's been missing since before school even started.

Masaomi:
Shouldn't we tell the cops about this?

Anri:
The last I heard from her she had sent a text to me and her family.
She said her heart was broken, so she was taking a quick trip and not to worry.

Mikado:
Her heart was broken? What happened?

Anri:
Well, she...
Listen, this might come as a bit of a shock to you.

Mikado:
After all I've seen these past few days, I doubt anything can shock me.

Anri:
My friend, Mika, is a stalker...

Masaomi:
Gotcha. So that guy we overheard you talking to earlier...
Mika was stalking him...
No, sorry. She was deeply in love with him and had to go on a trip because he rejected her.

Anri:
Mm-hmm.

Masaomi:
That's an issue for her family, then. Not you.
If she doesn't come back soon, they'll call the cops.

Mikado:
Were the two of you close? Were you good friends?

Masaomi:
Why is he asking her that?

Anri:
Well, we were together all the time.

Masaomi:
Whoa, his intuition is oddly good.

Anri:
I'm not naturally very social, but she dragged me along wherever she went.
And it was only because of her I actually met people.
Then when I found out she chose the same high school I did, I actually felt kinda guilty about it.

Mikado:
So, then...

Masaomi:
Mikado, I know what you're thinking.
That Mika only kept Anri around to make herself look better.
But dude, don't say that.

Anri:
I know.

Mikado:
Know what?

Anri:
That Mika was only using me to make herself look better. But to be completely honest, I was using her, too.
Depending on her made my life easier, pretty soon, I couldn't imagine living any other way.

Mikado:
Um...

Anri:
But now, I think I'm okay. I've realized that I don't really need her.
I'm used to it now. I'm doing fine without her.
To tell you guys the truth, I only asked to be class rep because that's the job she wanted.
I figured I should just do it in her place.
I wanted to prove to myself that I can be better than she is.
You think I'm devious, don't you?

Mikado:
Actually, I think it's devious that you're telling us this.
It kinda seems like you're asking for a forgiveness or something.
The fact that you wanted to be better than her is not something you should feel the need to defend.
If you ask me, that's something you should really own and be proud of.
Uh... But...

Anri:
You're so right. Thank you, Mikado.

Masaomi:
I've gotta say, I do dig this side of him.

Mikado:
Masaomi!

Masaomi:
You're lame!

Mikado:
Why am I lame?



Yoko:
What? The toughest guy in Ikebukuro?

Shuji:
Yeah, who is it?

Yoko:
You with some magazine?
Toughest, how lame are you.

Akie:
You know who I think is the most scary?
That guy on the black bike.

Yoko:
I know him. He's like got no head.

Haruko:
No way!

Yoko:
But, then again, there's that Slasher.

Akie:
Oh, right.

Haruko:
Yeah. Wouldn't you guys see the Dollars are pretty hardcore right now?

Shuji:
The Dollars?

Everyone:
Yeah, the Dollars!



Anri:
Thanks for everything today.
I should really be getting home.

Mikado:
All right. See ya.

Masaomi:
Goodbye, my dear Anri.

Mikado:
You know, I started thinking of that Seiji and her friend, Mika, might actually be together right now.

Masaomi:
The stalker got the stalkee?

Mikado:
I don't know, I'm not sure. Maybe she kidnapped him or something.

Masaomi:
More likely.

Mikado:
If we wanted to, how could we find her?

Masaomi:
I say drop it. Anri said she's fine.

Mikado:
You would need a massive organization for something like this.
Like the Dollars.

Masaomi:
Mikado, don't tell me you're seriously thinking about joining the Dollars.

Mikado:
No, no way.

Masaomi:
You don't want that.
Color gangs are the kinda thing that you do when you're young.
And then just regret it when you're older.

Mikado:
Yeah, but you've gotta do certain things when you're young.

Yellow Scarves member:
Dude, I'm totally spent right now.

Masaomi:
I had some serious depression going on before Mikado came to Ikebukuro.
I am who I am now only because a lot of people helped me out.
And one of them was definitely Mikado.
He's just kinda dropped in to Ikebukuro. And I can tell this city's too much for him.
He looks so vulnerable here, and it worries me.
I could cool him down by taking him to places a little more actual.
But I see that look in his eyes and I know he digs it here.
So instead, I just try to stick with him as much as possible.
If I had my way, he'd never have to see the darkness that lurks in this place.
And neither would I...
Bang.
I promised myself that I would never go there again.



Kanra:
Was that a troll just now?

Setton:
More like an alien.

Taro Tanaka:
Maybe they were laughing.

Setton:
Sounded pretty scary.

Taro Tanaka:
But then, what's with the haha?

Setton:
No, I mean, aliens are scary. Not the other guy.



Shinra:
TsumiUta?
You know, that kanji could read Zaika.

Celty:
As in wealth?

Shinra:
I'll take a look at it later. In the meantime, you got a job.
It's from Mr. Shiki with the Awakusu. So it's not entirely on the level. Do you still want it?

Celty:
More transporting?

Shinra:
Yup. Exactly.
But you've gotta get this object back before you deliver it.
Now I didn't ask him what it was. I'm guessing it's best for both parties if I don't know.

Celty:
I gotcha.

Shinra:
Great. Then about the goods, seems the guy who has it keeps moving.
We've got good info on where he likes to lay low. So finding him shouldn't be an issue, okay?

Celty:
Got it.

Shinra:
There've been a lot more spottings of the Slasher lately. Be careful out there.



Shuji:
Slasher?

Guy:
Uh-huh. That's what I said. That Slasher is...

Hiroshi:
They say it comes outta nowhere and beat you to a pulp.

Guy:
Dude, how tough can it be if that lets you live?
The fiercest guy around here is gotta be...

Hiroshi:
Simon, from Russia Sushi.

Guy:
Yeah, or maybe that intel broker who moved to Shinjuku.

Hiroshi:
Izaya Orihara.

Guy:
Oh no, it's gotta be that other cat...

Everyone:
Shizuo Heiwajima!

Hiroshi:
What's the most bad-ass color gang right now?
The Dollars, dude.

Guy:
They don't even have a color.
Up until last year, though, it was those yellow bastards.

Shuji:
Yellow?

Hiroshi:
Yeah, they call themselves the Yellow Scarves.

Guy:
They went full tilt with a gang called the Blue Squares.
It was so naughty it wiped out both gangs.

Guy:
Nah, word is now, the Yellow Scarves are back.



Simon:
Come on! You come order more, you eat more!
We got engawa and scallops today.

Walker:
Doesn't it seem like we've been seeing 'em a lot lately?

Kyohei:
Seeing what?

Erika:
Hmm.
Those yellow guys, right? I've seen 'em, too.

Kyohei:
Wait a minute, you mean...

Erika, Walker:
The Yellow Dwarves!

Kyohei:
The Yellow Scarves.

Erika:
Yeah, that's it! That one was Hermes.

Kyohei:
Nah, those guys got their asses handed to them by the Blue Squares and then dissolved.

Erika:
That's right. Then their boss backed off from the gang thing and retired or something.

Simon:
Welcome, friend!

Masaomi:
I was hoping you could tell me about the Dollars.

Kyohei:
What?

Masaomi:
I'm trying to keep a friend of mine from getting mixed up with them.

Kyohei:
Why are you asking us?

Masaomi:
Well, you're the only one I can talk to.

Erika:
Guess you can't really ask Izaya Orihara about it, huh?

Kyohei:
Look, they're kind of a mystery. We don't know a whole lot about them, either.
But since you're here, I'll tell you what we do know...



Masaomi:
Sometimes, I feel like this town will swallow me whole.
But I'll never let that darkness find Mikado.

Mikado?
Sorry.

Yellow Scarves member A:
Oh, it's gonna take more than that.

Yellow Scarves member B:
In case you haven't noticed, dork, you just bumped into the Yellow Scarves.

Mikado:
Seiji!
Who's she? That's not Mika Harima...

Seiji:
I've no idea who you are.
And we're on a romantic getaway. So leave.

Mikado:
A romantic getaway?

Seiji:
Let's go.

Mikado:
If that's not Mika, who is it?
Masaomi?

Masaomi:
Interesting. You say you're with the Yellow Scarves?

Yellow Scarves member B:
You don't joke about that.

Masaomi:
I said it because I doubt it.

Yellow Scarves member B:
You little...

Mikado:
M-Masaomi!

Masaomi:
Mikado... Why you gotta show up now?

Takashi:
M-Monster!

Masaomi:
Let's go!

Man, you had me so worried.

Mikado:
You had me worried, too.

Masaomi:
I guess truth be told, I'm the one who'd become dependent upon him.
Since Mikado came here, my false sense of bravado is turning into something real.
Maybe, next time, I'll be able to see her without turning and running away.

Saki:
Yes.

Masaomi:
I wasn't sure I could ever feel like this.

Saki:
Wow, I didn't think you'd come here again.
Hi, Izaya.

Izaya:
Hello.
So, how is he?

Saki:
Well, he does come by here sometimes.
But that's as far as he goes.

Shuji:
I'm back.
Haruna, have you eaten yet? Haruna?



Kanra:
So, I banned that troll who was bothering us.

Setton:
Things should go back to normal.

Taro Tanaka:
I hope so.

Kanra:
Have you heard the latest about the Yellow Scarves?
They got hit by the Slasher yesterday.

Taro Tanaka:
What are the Yellow Scarves?

Kanra:
I wonder if the Slasher is part of the Dollars.

Taro Tanaka:
They can't be!

Kanra:
There might be a war brewing.



Masaomi:
It may not look like it at first, but everything that happens in this town is somehow related.
It's all part of some larger, awful truth that's beyond our comprehension.
However...
Good morning!

Mikado:
Hey, Anri. Good morning.

Anri:
Good morning.

Masaomi:
I may be slow to realize this, but I'm okay with this little triangle we got going on.
You know, even if things take a turn for the worse and the dots connect in ways I can't foresee, I believe this relationship won't change.
Bet we can weather whatever storm lies ahead.



<Preview>

Kyohei:
The Dollars? I can't say much about them.
However, I can tell you about what is now the legendary Kazutawno incident.
Next time: Active Interest.
That is as long as you don't call me Dotachin.