Squid Girl > 06b. Is Studying For the Fish?

Eiko:
This is so damn hard!

Squid Girl:
What are you groaning about, Eiko?

Eiko:
It's you.

Squid Girl:
What is all this?

Eiko:
Math problems for school.

Squid Girl:
Math? Um, what the squid is math?

Eiko:
You want me to explain math to you?
If I understood this stuff, I wouldn't have any trouble solving these stupid problems!

Squid Girl:
I see.

Eiko:
What, you think you understand it now?
If all it took was a quick read, math would be pretty easy.

Squid Girl:
But it is pretty easy, Eiko.
The answer to this problem is x^2+10x+25.

Eiko:
You're just making it sound like you're right.
Y-You're right. But how?
You snuck a look at the answer page, didn't you?

Squid Girl:
I wouldn't squid a thing like that!

Eiko:
Solve this problem, then.

Squid Girl:
Easy. x=0.

Eiko:
You got it!
This one!

Squid Girl:
X=±√7.

Eiko:
All right. Then how about this?
Let's see how you handle Japan's most advanced...
She could get into Tokyo-U with those skills.

Takeru:
Squid Girlie, you're a genius!

Squid Girl:
A genius? Just 'cause I can do math?

Chizuru:
Yes. You quickly picked up Japanese and video games, so I already knew that you had a considerable ability to adapt to nearly anything.

Takeru:
You know, you could win a Nobel Prize.

Squid Girl:
No. There isn't a Nobel Prize for math. If I win, it'll be a Fields Medal.

Eiko:
Oh, so you're math wiz and an awards trivia expert.
You gotta calculator inside your head?

Squid Girl:
Ow! What are you doing!? If you take this off a squid's head, it's fatal!
Look, in my ofinion you really shouldn't be having so much trouble with this junk.

Eiko:
J-Junk?

Squid Girl:
Even a shrimp could see how you calculate these.
It's really easy.

Eiko:
You... think... it's easy!?

Takeru:
Hey, it's your lucky day, Eiko.

Chizuru:
That's right. You could have Squid Girl teach you how to do it.

Eiko:
This isn't funny. There's nothing on earth that Squid Girl could possibly teach me!
You watch! I'll figure these all out on my own!

Squid Girl:
Gee. I don't understand. What's up her gills?

Chizuru:
She just can't stand losing to you.

Takeru:
Not like there's any beating a genius, though.

Squid Girl:
Genius...
Genius?

Eiko:
This doesn't make any sense!
How would she solve these problems in just an instant.
There must be some easy way to do it.
I've got it!
Hey, Squid Girl!
You must know one of those special math problem solving methods they use over in India.
That's how you got those answers so easily. That has to be it!

Takeru:
She's kinda scary...

Chizuru:
Oh, boy. I think she's finally managed to fry her brain.

Eiko:
Now, you tell me exactly how you use that method.

Squid Girl:
Is that any way to ask a genius for a favor?

Eiko:
She thinks she's better than me.

Takeru:
Um, Eiko, you should really try saying "please" whenever you ask someone for something.

Eiko:
You be quie--
I can ace my next test if she just shows me how she does it.
Would you please show me?

Squid Girl:
Sorry. Did you say somefin?

Eiko:
Please show me how.

Squid Girl:
You'll have to beak up or I can't hear you.
Why don't you just kowtow to me and ask me politely.

Eiko:
I've gotta remember, it's all for the test. I have to put up with it.
Please teach me how. Oh, great and wise Squid Girl!

Squid Girl:
I suppose if I must.
I'll teach you but you have to squid everything I say.

Eiko:
What was that?

Squid Girl:
Yakisoba for table three.
Yokohama Ramen for table number five.

Eiko:
Yakisoba three.
Yokohama five.

Squid Girl:
Once you've done with that you can go get those beer bottles.

Customer:
Can I leave this here?

Squid Girl:
Sure. Eiko will clean it up. Bye!
Hey, c'mon, get kraken.

Eiko:
Look. You don't have to get carried away, you know?

Squid Girl:
Talking back to me, huh?
I guess you must not want me to teach you, then.

Eiko:
Just put up with her!

Squid Girl:
Sometimes I forget but originally I came here as an inkvader who's mission is to take over the surface world and conquer all of mankind.
I think it's time I show them all what a true genius I am.
And once I do...

People:
I can't believe she solved that difficult problem.
She's far more intelligent than any humans.
Squid Girl is a true genius.

Squid Girl:
Ahahahaha.

People:
All hail Squid Girl.

Squid Girl:
Ahahahaha.
Hey! Can you solve this math problem?

Boy:
Help!

Goro:
There's no time for that!

Squid Girl:
Nagisa! Tell you what. I'm gonna teach you some tentacular math today, okay?

Nagisa:
Um, no thanks! I really don't need any math in my everyday life anyway.
Gotta go!

Squid Girl:
Huh? Really? You don't?

Sanae:
Squiddie! That's great.

Squid Girl:
Oh, it's no big squid.

Sanae:
Now, find the answer to my heart.

Squid Girl:
Huh? No way! I don't wanna find that!

Cindy:
Fourier analysis and the Poisson summation.
You can instantly solve advanced mathematics problems.

Squid Girl:
Finally, somebody understands how inkredible I am.

Cindy:
This proves that you're an alien.
I insist you come with me to my laboratory right now!

Squid Girl:
Why does it always end up like this?
I dream of conquering mankind but now I'm even further away than before!

Eiko:
Geniuses are always doomed to loneliness, you know?

Squid Girl:
You're the only squid in the whole world who really understands me, Eiko.
I'm so sorry I was mean to you earlier.

Eiko:
It's water under the bridge if you teach me how to solve problems.

Squid Girl:
You bet your beak I will!

Eiko:
What-What is all this?

Squid Girl:
It's the secret of solving the problems.
If you do this no calculation will be too hard.
Hey! What the gill was that!?

Eiko:
I can't even read that!

Squid Girl:
I went to the trouble of teaching you my secret, you meanie!

Eiko:
That's it. Give me back everything I lost to you today or I'm gonna shake you tentacles off!

Squid Girl:
That kraken hurts!