Germany: The time was World War 1. I found myself in what you'd call "a situation".
Weird. Why has someone left me these tomatoes--
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
Aah!
Germany:
Aain!
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
Hello to you! I am the box of tomatoes fairy! I come in peace! Let us be friends and play with each other!
Germany:
I think someone's inside--!
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
You're wrooooong! There's no one inside! Do not open the box!
Germany:
Dammit...this is heavy...!
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
Why are you ignoring me? What point is it to try to see the box of tomatoes fairy's god?
Germany: There's something distraught in here...!
Italy:
AAH! I'm so sorry, you were right! I am not the box of tomatoes fairies at all! It was all lies! Lies! Lies! Please don't shoot me, I'm too young to die! And what if I don't die, but I'm just mortally wonded and forced to lie there in misery in a pool of my own blood!? Please, I'll do anything! Well, I mean within reason! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!
---
Italy:
I mean, seriously, I'm a virgin! Where do you think they get virgin olive oil? The point is you do not want to shoot the virgin! We're pathetic enough as it is! I apologize for the lying and the boxing! I really am a good Italy!
Germany: Uggh...is this the guy I'm supposed to be fighting? I heard mein feind is a descendent of the great Rome, but...ugh! There's no way this very little brat could be the same enemy. I wonder who he really is.
Let me ask you a question. You wouldn't by chance be related to the great Rome, would you?
Italy:
Wait, you're telling me you know grandpa Rome? What a fantastical turn of events! Especially for this poor pizza and pasta lover! You had me completely fooled! I thought you were really mean and scary! So we can be friends, okay?
Germany: What kind of a joke is this? Mein kampf, this is a trap! He's pretending to be harmless in an attempt to catch me off guard! Sneaky bastard!
Italy:
How fun to have a new friend--AAGH!
Germany:
I will not be tricked! Go to hell, you pasta-loving chortel! At that moment...I never imagined the extent to which this encounter would change my fate...although I do not believe in such things.
---
Children:
Chibitalia!
France:
Hey, you what, 'oly Rome? There are other people around you to chase besides Italy!
Chibi Italy:
He chases me because I'm scared of him....
Holy Rome:
I would quit if you'd just come over to my place, so....
Chibi Italy:
But grandpa told me I'm not supposed to go.
Holy Rome:
Then I'll make you!
France:
Did you hear a word I said to you!?
Holy Rome:
WRRRRAAAAAH!!!
France:
HAAAAAAAH!! Ho ho ho ho...!
Spain:
Just ignore them, you would like to have some churros, no?
Chibi Italy:
Si!
Child:
How Italy became a victim of bullying.
Narrator:
After Rome died, Italy became an assembly of small countries. In those days, Italy had everything. Fertile land, mild weather, and a rich history full of art and religion. It was a rather attractive country. Naturally, the other countries started to get jealous.
However, Italy was weak. Even back then, it was weak.
Narrator:
To those guys, no land was as good a prey as Italy. France started the nasty trend by charging into Italy first, then other strong and incredibly rude countries invaded from the sea and took pieces of Italy for themselves.
---
And once again, the time was WW1.
Germany: So I captured Italy, but the only thing I hear from him is the singing or the laughing with weird accents. It's like he doesn't want to escape from me at all.
What don't you try to escape?
Italy:
Why? As long as I'm with you, I get fed and nobody picks on me. I like being here.
Germany:
Nein! That attitude is unacceptable! If you're a soldier, and even if you're French, you're supposed to try very hard to escape captivity! That's the mose pathetic excuse for a country I've ever seen! Are you sleeping at me right now!?
Hey, look at how the door just opened. You could totally run away if you wanted to.
Italy:
Huh...? Ciao, ladies, you're all so lovely! where are you headed? Macaroni bucatini tortellini ravioli, cannelloni fettucine linguini, Luigi Mario....
---
Commander:
Hey, Germany, I have some terrible news! Italy has become Germany's ally! What are we supposed to do!?
The time was World War 1. I found myself in what you'd call "a situation".
Weird. Why has someone left me these tomatoes--
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
Aah!
Germany:
Aain!
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
Hello to you! I am the box of tomatoes fairy! I come in peace! Let us be friends and play with each other!
Germany:
I think someone's inside--!
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
You're wrooooong! There's no one inside! Do not open the box!
Germany:
Dammit...this is heavy...!
Person-in-tomatoes-box:
Why are you ignoring me? What point is it to try to see the box of tomatoes fairy's god?
Germany:
There's something distraught in here...!
Italy:
AAH! I'm so sorry, you were right! I am not the box of tomatoes fairies at all! It was all lies! Lies! Lies! Please don't shoot me, I'm too young to die! And what if I don't die, but I'm just mortally wonded and forced to lie there in misery in a pool of my own blood!? Please, I'll do anything! Well, I mean within reason! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!
---
Italy:
I mean, seriously, I'm a virgin! Where do you think they get virgin olive oil? The point is you do not want to shoot the virgin! We're pathetic enough as it is! I apologize for the lying and the boxing! I really am a good Italy!
Germany:
Uggh...is this the guy I'm supposed to be fighting? I heard mein feind is a descendent of the great Rome, but...ugh! There's no way this very little brat could be the same enemy. I wonder who he really is.
Let me ask you a question. You wouldn't by chance be related to the great Rome, would you?
Italy:
Wait, you're telling me you know grandpa Rome? What a fantastical turn of events! Especially for this poor pizza and pasta lover! You had me completely fooled! I thought you were really mean and scary! So we can be friends, okay?
Germany:
What kind of a joke is this?
Mein kampf, this is a trap! He's pretending to be harmless in an attempt to catch me off guard! Sneaky bastard!
Italy:
How fun to have a new friend--AAGH!
Germany:
I will not be tricked! Go to hell, you pasta-loving chortel!
At that moment...I never imagined the extent to which this encounter would change my fate...although I do not believe in such things.
---
Children:
Chibitalia!
France:
Hey, you what, 'oly Rome? There are other people around you to chase besides Italy!
Chibi Italy:
He chases me because I'm scared of him....
Holy Rome:
I would quit if you'd just come over to my place, so....
Chibi Italy:
But grandpa told me I'm not supposed to go.
Holy Rome:
Then I'll make you!
France:
Did you hear a word I said to you!?
Holy Rome:
WRRRRAAAAAH!!!
France:
HAAAAAAAH!! Ho ho ho ho...!
Spain:
Just ignore them, you would like to have some churros, no?
Chibi Italy:
Si!
Child:
How Italy became a victim of bullying.
Narrator:
After Rome died, Italy became an assembly of small countries. In those days, Italy had everything. Fertile land, mild weather, and a rich history full of art and religion. It was a rather attractive country. Naturally, the other countries started to get jealous.
However, Italy was weak. Even back then, it was weak.
Narrator:
To those guys, no land was as good a prey as Italy. France started the nasty trend by charging into Italy first, then other strong and incredibly rude countries invaded from the sea and took pieces of Italy for themselves.
---
And once again, the time was WW1.
Germany:
So I captured Italy, but the only thing I hear from him is the singing or the laughing with weird accents. It's like he doesn't want to escape from me at all.
What don't you try to escape?
Italy:
Why? As long as I'm with you, I get fed and nobody picks on me. I like being here.
Germany:
Nein! That attitude is unacceptable! If you're a soldier, and even if you're French, you're supposed to try very hard to escape captivity! That's the mose pathetic excuse for a country I've ever seen! Are you sleeping at me right now!?
Hey, look at how the door just opened. You could totally run away if you wanted to.
Italy:
Huh...? Ciao, ladies, you're all so lovely! where are you headed? Macaroni bucatini tortellini ravioli, cannelloni fettucine linguini, Luigi Mario....
---
Commander:
Hey, Germany, I have some terrible news! Italy has become Germany's ally! What are we supposed to do!?
Children:
To be continued!