Lucky Star>05. The Famous Shooter

Konata:Our teach is a wiz and I'm a tanker.When the two of us team up and I'm the one who's gotta pull the monsters.It's a pretty sweet deal in terms of cash and exp.It's nice she's got my back but I'm always the one running arounAll she has to do is click AoE skills
Check this out, the other day, I pulled a ton of mobs, but Teach went and fell asleep at her keyboard.It took me all day to get my exp point
KagaTry speaking a language we understand.
Kuroi:
Well, starting tomorrow you guys get to have a nice long break.
Don't forget you're still students and behave like the good little boys and girls I know you are.

Everyone:
Okay!

Kuroi:
I don't know why, but you students get antsy around this time of year.
Then you all get bored and go out and cause some trouble.
And as your long-suffering teacher, that makes me very worried.
Please behave and don't cause any problems, got that?!
'Cause if you guys get all delinqent out there, you're gonna ruin my vacation .
Behave yourselves, I'm begging you!

Shiraishi:
This isn't good...


Kagami:
Yay, we're officially on vacation now.
And the best thing about this is the fact that I won't have to see your face each and every day.

Tsukasa:
Oh, come on, Sis...

Konata:
You know, I just realized that even though I'm on vacation,
I'm still gonna see our teacher every day.

Kagami:
Why? You're taking an extra class or something?

Konata:
No, we're both in the same party in this net game.

Kagami:
Yeah, of course you are.

Tsukasa:
Net game?

Konata:
Our teacher' s a wiz and I'm a tanker.
When the two of us team up, I'm the one who's gotta pull the monsters.
It's a pretty sweet deal in terms of cash and exp.
It's nice she's got my back but I'm always the one running around.
All she has to do is click AoE skills the whole time.
Check this out, the other day, I pulled a ton of mobs,
but Teach went and fell asleep at the keyboard.
It took me all day to get my exp points back.

Kagami:
Try speaking a language we understand.

Tsukasa:
Good Morning.
I can't believe how hot it is, can you?

Kagami:
I know.
Amazing hair by the way.

Tsukasa:
How about we turn the air conditioning on?

Kagami:
Jeez, there you go.
Don't be so quick to rely on stuff like that.
Use a fan or something and suck it up.
Here.

Tsukasa:
Oh...
You are right.
A fan gets it pretty cool too.

Kagami:
Yeah, see?

Tsukasa:
But I'm still hot.

Kagami:
Hmmm.

Tsukasa:
You get so tired fanning, and you know how when you stop fanning, you feel even hotter than before?

Kagami:
Yeah, well, yeah...
Good try though.

Miyuki:
This is so much fun, we are all wearing yukatas.

Tsukasa:
Uh-huh.

Kagami:
Well, I know it's kinda like cheating, but our obis are the pre-tied kind.
They're much easier to put on.

Tsukasa:
Yeah, putting on a kimono or a yukata's hard enough, you know.

Kagami:
You have a proper tied-up obi, don't you, Miyuki?
I'll bet you even tied it yourself.

Miyuki:
Oh, no, actually I had the person at the shop tie it for me.
Tying something like an obi would be much too difficult for me
to say the least.

Kagami:
I heard that.
Hey, aren't you wearing a proper one too?
I didn't expect that.

Konata:
Uh-huh.

Kagami:
Did someone at the store tie it up for you?

Konata:
No, I got my dad to tie it for me.

Kagami:
Oh, really...

Konata:
Come on, let's go!

Tsukasa:
How come her dad knows how to tie an obi?


Yui:
Hey, Konata-chan!

Kagami:
Who's that?
Are you in trouble with the law?

Konata:
That's Yui-neisan.
She's my cousin.

Yui:
Nice to meet ya!

Kagami:
Oh, hello?

Miyuki:
It's nice to meet you too.

Tsukasa:
Oh, that's right, how are you?

Yui:
I hope you're behaving yourself today.
Make sure you listen to what these older girls say,

and get home early, okay?

Kagami:
Ugh. No, no, no, no, no.
Konata isn't an average girl, we're all in the same grade!

Konata:
No, all of us are in the same grade.

Yui:
Really?
I'm so sorry, I couldn't tell.
I mean, you're so much taller than... you know.

Yeah...

Konata:
Hmmm.

Kagami:
No worries.

Yui:
I tell ya, kids these days, you guys sure do mature awful fast,

don't ya?

Kagami:
No, like I said, Konata isn't a normal girl!
We're the normal ones, lady!


Konata:
Oh, look, it's a shooting gallery!
Hey, Yui-neisan, I bet you're good at this stuff.

Yui:
Well, Hahaha.
The truth is I'm so good, all the guys back at the station call me Sharpshooter Yui.
In three seconds, I can shoot five rounds and blast a peace sign on the face of a paper target.

Everyone:
Uh...

Konata:
Here, show us how awesome you are.

Yui:
Oh, that's a rifle.
I have to use a rifle?
I didn't know.

Konata:
Hm?

Yui:
Uh, I only ever used pistols.

Konata:
Go! Go! Shoot! Shoot!

Officer:
Hey, what's with the goofy poses, Narumi?!
You know you're still on the clock!
You're on patrol, so patrol!

Konata:
Okay then...
Hey Mister, how does this work?
If we hit a target, can we pick one of those prizes?

Man:
Anything you hit, you get.
It's all good.

Konata:
Anything?

Man:
Yup, anything you hit.

Man:
Wow, lady, I'm not the prize.
Lower the gun and back away.

Konata:
At a summer festival, you can't forget the shaved ice!

Kagami:
It is hot.
Let's get some.

Konata:
Okay, here we are.
I'm looking at all these flavors, they got strawberry, lemon, melon...
Wait, what the heck's a Blue Hawaii?
What kind of flavor is that?

Kagami:
Well, it's Blue Hawaii flavor, I guess.

Konata:
Of course, I figured you'd say that.
What do you think, Miyuki-san?
Do you have any idea what a Blue Hawaii is?

Miyuki:
What's a Blue Hawaii?
Um, let me see...
Perhaps that's a song...
Blue... no. Blue...
Uh, I don't really know.
Sorry I didn't know the answer to that.
I'll look it up when I get home, okay?

Konata:
Hm, yeah, sure.

Miyuki:
It is possible that...

Kagami:
Yeah, no, the person who wants to know should be looking it up, not Miyuki...

Tsukasa:
Um, I think I might know about that Blue Hawaii thing...

Konata:
Hm?

Tsukasa:
Yeah, I heard somewhere that the name on the flavor
come(s) from this blue-colored cocktail.
I also heard that it's called the Blue Hawaii
'cause it's named after the movie Blue Hawaii.

Miyuki:
So, that's where it comes from.
That was a good reference.

Konata:
Man, when Tsukasa's the one teaching me something,
I end up feeling like a total loser.

Tsukasa:
I just noticed I only have a little bit of money left.

Kagami:
Tsukasa, nothing is cheap around here.
Think a little before you spend your money, I swear.

Konata:
Come on, Kagami, it's a festival.
You spend a ton of money here 'cause you get caught up in the buying.

Kagami:
Yeah, I guess.

Konata:
Same thing with Comiket.
You don't think you're spending a lot on doujinshi, but that's the illusion of it.
Then you're like "Wow, I'm broke."

Kagami:
I'll never understand the world you live in.

Konata:
You get up early to stand in line, and getting from the West Hall to the East Hall's
like a hike and a half.

Kagami:
Yeah, I still don't understand.

Tsukasa:
Cotton candy's so fluffy and sweet.
I really love it!

Kagami:
You're not a little kid anymore!
Slow down or you'll be sick.

Konata:
I don't know, I never thought doing that with another girl was that much fun.

Kagami:
Huh, don't go there.

Konata:
Would it be too much to ask for a little romance in our lives?
We're at a summer festival, wearing yukatas.
If this was a dating sim, chances are one of us would trigger a flag somewhere.

Tsukasa:
A flag?

Konata:
There'd also be an event scene 'cause we're outside, we're in yukatas.

Kagami:
Well, okay, horn dog, we got it.

Miyuki:
Is there anything you wanna play, Kagami-san?

Kagami:
Um, now that you mention it, I kinda like to do some goldfish scooping.

Kagami:
Ah!
I haven't even tried anything and they're running away!

Konata:
Maybe it's because deep down in their fishy hearts,

they know you are totally vicious.

Kagami:
Ugh!

Konata:
The ugly truth has been revealed at last.
Uh-huh.

Tsukasa:
Oh, look! There is one, you see it?

Kagami:
Oh, oh yeah, I see him.
Okay...
Getto-daze!
All right! I got one! I got one! Yeah!

Tsukasa:
Yay, Sis!

Kagami:
Don't worry, you little guy...
I'm gonna take good care of you, Gyopi-chan.

Kuroi:
Hey, I knew I'd see you guys!
I heard there was a festival thing going on around here,
so I thought I'd swing by and check it out, you know.
I really love festivals.

Konata:
So did you come here with your boyfriend or something?

Kuroi:
'Course not! I don't have a boyfriend.

Konata:
There isn't even a tiny bit of romance for us anywhere, is there?

Kagami:
Surprise, surprise.

Yui:
Well, well, we meet again!
Looks like you're having fun with a new friend.

Kuroi:
Howdy!

Yui:
Huh? Hm.
Wow, this girl looks like she hit puberty super early.

Kuroi:
Girl?

Konata:
Nope, wrong, she's our teacher.

Yui:
I'm so sorry, I totally jumped to conclusions and thought you were their classmate.

Kuroi:
Nah, it's okay.

Konata:
This is my cousin, Yui-neisan.
She's a cop, but I guess you figured that out.

Yui:
Yeah, because today is the summer festival, they got me on duty
pounding the pavement out here.
Can you believe they make us work in heat like this?

Kuroi:
Work? Looks like you're having fun.

Yui:
Are you working today too?
You know like making sure your students don't cause any trouble?

Kuroi:
No, I was bored, so I'm just wandering around...

Yui:
Oh, I'm so jealous!
If I was off duty right now, I'd be wandering around and having fun too.

Kuroi:
Looks like you're already having enough fun as it is!
So are you on your own today?

Yui:
Yeah, just me, myself and me.

Kuroi:
That makes two of us.

Yui:
Huh?

Kuroi, Yui:
Ahahaha...

hit puberty:思春期になる
pound the pavement:歩き回る、パトロールをする

TV:
As for vinegar, I would recommend balsamic vinegar,
but if you don't have that, you could use rice vinegar,
This is where you laugh...

Tsukasa:
Balsamic vinegar...
Balsamic vinegar...
Balsamic vinegar!

Tsukasa:
You know how during summer vacation, you get really, really bored

because there's nothing to do?
You sorta get used to being super lazy.

Kagami:
Hehehe. So, if you're too busy being lazy and doing nothing,

you won't be asking to see my homework.

Tsukasa:
Ugh!

Tsukasa:
I know.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, it's really cute, how it's kinda pudgy and roly-poly and everything.
I mean it totally looks like a frog, doesn't it?
I know it does. Uh-huh.
Oh, so it's depleted uranium. That's amazing.
Oh, hey, if I'm on the phone too long, I'll get scolded.
Yeah, okay, bye!

Tsukasa:
I was talking to Kona-chan, and I asked her,

"Why do you get bored during summer vacation?"
You know what she said?

Kagami:
Uh-huh.

Tsukasa:
She said she wasn't bored 'cause she was busy playing all the games
that stacked up during school.
I guess some people know how to have a fulfilling summer vacation after all.
Maybe I should go to something too!

Kagami:
Yeah, well, I guess that's okay, but do your homework.
As long as you do that, oh, man, same old story...

Konata:
I'm gonna pull one.

  1. konakona: I'm gonna pull one.

  1. yamanka: OK

  1. gatongo: All right, let's do this! (rotfl)

Konata:
Debuff 'em, okay?

  1. konakona: Debuff 'em, OK.

  1. Your friend nanakon has logged in.

Konata:
Oh, that's cool. Teach just logged on.

Konata:
Hello.

  1. konakona: Hello.

  1. nanakon: Yo! (^3^)/

Konata:
You're on line a lot, is it because of vacation?

  1. konakona: You're on line a lot, is it because of vacation?

  1. nanakon: Well, yeah (lol)

Konata:
I have some time, you wanna go huntings? I'm in the cave over by Chovron Village.

  1. konakona: I have some time, you wanna go hunting? I'm in the cave over by Chovron Village.

  1. nakakon: All right, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go! (>w<)b It's time for a wiz to step up!

Konata:
You got it! I'll be waiting near the gate.

  1. konakona: You got it! I'll be waiting near the gate.

  1. nanakon: That's fine, but did you do your homework? (-_-)

Konata:
Huh?

  1. konakona: Huh?

  1. nanakon: Have you been cooped up inside your house? (-_-)

Konata:
Uh...
  1. konakona: ;;

  1. nanakon: Don't forget about the day you have to come to school (-3-)y-~~~

Konata:
Um...

  1. konakona: ;;;;

  1. nanakon: One more thing, even though it's vacation, don't stay up too late or sleep in too much.

Konata:
Uh...
Ma'am, could you not talk about real world stuff every single timing inside the gaming world?!
Now she's scolding me just like Kagami does everyday.

Konata:
Hey there, it sure is hot out.

Kagami:
Yeah, tell me about it.
Come on in!

Konata:
Hello.

Konata:
Huh? Hey, you guys got the fan out today.

Kagami:
Well, like you said it's hot.
Hang out and enjoy the breeze.

Konata:
Ah-----------

Kagami:
Yup, I knew it.
I totally knew you were going to do that.

Tsukasa:
Good morning...
Oh, Kona-chan's here.

Konata:
What up?

Kagami:
Oh, you are in your "good morning."
Still don't have any idea what time it is?

Tsukasa:
Oh, well, isn't it hot though?

Tsukasa:
Ah----------

Kagami:
What? You too?

Konata:
Come on, everybody does it.

Kagami:
I don't do it.

Tadao:
But Kagami, weren't you doing it this morning too?

Konata:
Told ya?

Kagami:
Uh, busted by Dad.

Konata:
It looks like Comp-Fest is really popular.

Tsukasa:
What is that?

Konata:
Each time you buy a manga or one of these magazines, you get an entry ticket.
Then if you fill a mount and send them in, they'll send you a limited edition QUO card.

Tsukasa:
Really?

Konata:
Every time I take my manga up to the cashier, it's like I'm possessed or something.

Kagami:
You were saying something about this QUO cards stuff the other day.
I swear the Japanese are helpless when it comes to giveaways and limited editions.

Konata:
That's why when you buy something like that, you always get one for the vault,
one to look at, and one to loan out.

Kagami:
Yeah, but you're talking about how you handle it.
It's not like everybody thinks the same way as you do.

Konata:
And sometimes I forget who I loaned it to, then I gotta buy another one.

Kagami:
So, don't forget!

Konata:
So, do you think I could take a look at the... you-know-what?

Tsukasa:
Oh, homework.

Kagami:
Jeez.
Fine, I'll teach you all the stuff you don't understand,
but you're gonna have to do the rest of it by yourself.

Tsukasa:
Balsamic vinegar...

Konata:
Kagami, I don't know this one.

Kagami:
Oh, with the problem like that, you just...

Konata:
Kagami, I don't understand this stuff from here on down.

Kagami:
Ah...

Kagami:
Oh, close one.

Konata:
Kagami...

Kagami:
You are not even thinking about it, are you?!

Konata:
But I am thinking about it.

Kagami:
Are you really?

Konata:
Yeah, and I don't understand any of this stuff from here on down.

Kagami:
Then you aren't thinking about it!

Konata:
She never taught me how to do these.

Yui:
It's me. Came by for a visit!

Konata:
Yui-neisan, huh, right on time.
Could you show me how to do this problem?

Yui:
Huh? What's that? Your math homework?
Sure, I'll help you do it.

Yui:
Yeah, well seeing as how I'm supposed to be a role model...

you shouldn't rely on others for answers because it won't do you any good.

Konata:
Huh?

Konata:
Argh...
Homework sucks when you don't understand the questions.

Yui:
Whether you get it or not doesn't matter, just scribble down whatever seems right.

Konata:
Hm...

Yui:
They just want you to turn it in on time.
See?

Konata:
Oh, I get it! Awesome!
But then, this strategy of yours sorta goes against the stuff you said before.
If I do it this way, it's not gonna do me any good.

Yui:
Yeah, well, that's how I always did it.

Konata:
I'm so tired...
Think I'll take a break and go online for some hot gaming action.
Half an hour of hunting should perk me up again.
Half an hour's not bad, not bad at all.

Konata:
Solo hunting, solo hunting...
In this world...
I'll get stronger...

Konata:
Hm? Oh, a rare drop, no way...
Laevatein?!
I've never seen anyone with one of those things!
An ultra-rare item!

Konata:
I got Laevatein!

  1. konakona: I got Laevatein!

  1. yamanka: Serious?! Σ(@@)

  1. gatongo: Oh man (rotf!) Grats (rotf!)

  1. yamanka: I'll go over there right now, show me show me! >w<ノ

  1. matchy: Let's celebrate. We can gather all the clan members together, and try it out. o(^^)o

  1. gatongo: All-nighter guaranteed! (rotfl) I'm (lol) feeling (lol) totally (lol) energetic (lol) now (rotfl)

Konata:
Okay, come-come...

  1. konakona: OK, come-come.

Konata:
I need to try this sucker out, but where?
Cool, everyone's really excited!
I should go get us some high-quality potions,

then pass them out to all the guys!
But I'll need to go back into town first.
We're gonna get busy!


Akira:
Hiya, Luckies!
I'm your navigator, Akira Kogami!
Can you believe it, Lucky Channel's on its fifth episode?
And I'm so excited I can't believe it any more!
Let me introduce my assistant who's getting lots of his time on the show
and getting a big head because of it!
No, I'm just kidding...
The one and only... Minoru Shiraishi, clap clap clap...

Shiraishi:
I promise my head's not gonna get any bigger.
Anyway folks, it's an honor to be here, and I hope I do well!
I'm the assistant, Minoru Shiraishi!

Akira:
Now, as you know, we get a ton of letters every week from fans just like you!
Today's hand-picked letter was sent by a USS Gatoh in Tokyo.

Shiraishi:or
Is this guy some kinda n**t or something?
I mean, he sent in like fifty of those things...

Akira:
He's probably just some poor, pathetical loser.
Anyway, here's what the letter says,
"Big hellos to Akira-san and Minoru-san.
On Lucky Star, I always see Konata-chan go online to play netgames.
So I was just wondering, Akira-san.
Do you go online and play games, too?
By the way, on lining what you call a Net-gay, but I don't swing that way in real life."
Whao, someone's got issues!

Shiraishi:
A "Net-gay"?
What does he mean "Net-gay"?
Is that short for network game?
I never play those things...

Akira:
Ummm...
You'd better off not playing and do it.

Shiraishi:
That was... blunt.
Uh, why do you think that?

Akira:
'Cause there's tons of people who get so hooked,
they totally give up their lives in the real world.
But you don't know, I used to be that way.
Whenever I had time, I'd log on and go on the super long hunting sessions
or I'd just PKK some people.
Yeah, but that's when I was younger.

Shiraishi:
"When you were young...er", I mean, those terms you were using,
I didn't understand any of 'em...

Akira:
It's better if you don't know 'em...
Whatever, it's not like the audience's gonna understand any of this stuff, either.

Shiraishi:
Yeah, anyway, you used to play those things.
Maybe you could, you know, share some memories
you might have as a gamer with our audience?

Akira:
Oh, right, here I go, memories!
When I was just a beginner, I didn't understand anything and got into some trouble,
then these guys who were experienced gamers came and helped me out!
Then they pitched in and gave me lots of really expensive armor and super rare stuff!
I was the happiest girl in the world!

Shiraishi:
I... I bet you were...

Akira:
I had so much fun and I totally want everyone to go online and start playing now!
Oh, no!
It's time to go, byeny!

Shiraishi:
Yeah, well, see you next time.
So, I guess you were popular in the world of online gaming.
Ah, Akira-sama?
Something wrong?

Akira:
On page 38, the scene 12?
Shiraishi:
Uh-huh?

Akira:
Who the hell is Yutaka, damn it?!

Shiraishi:
Whao, you're getting mad about that?

Akira:
My name is Akira, damn you, Akira!

Shiraishi:
Right, I know.

Akira:
Who's in charge!?

Shiraishi:
Where's the director?
Get the director!
Get the producers!
Akira-sama, you have to calm down.


Akira:
I am calm.

Shiraishi :
I beg you!

Akira:
I got an idea.

Shiraishi:
Yes?

Akira:
Let's take the name Minoru Shiraishi.
Then, we turn into something else, something like Su...

Konata:
You're so cool, Kagamin.

Kagami:
Aha, thanks.
Tsukasa, Miyuki, who's gonna go next?

Konata:
I am.

Kagami:
Again!
Give someone else a chance.

Konata:
You can't hesitate.
We're on the clock here.
Time is money.

Tsukasa:
Sorry, I'm still looking for a song I know.

Miyuki:
I'm sorry.

Kagami:
Oh, it's okay.
Let her sing. It's a good way for us to kill some time.

Konata:
Ah...

Tsukasa:
Oh, I know this song.

Kagami:
I didn't think Konata took a song from a popular show.

Narration:
On the next episode of Lucky Star...

Konata:
Konata here.
When I started playing Monster Hunter Dos, the rule was that you had to defeat
at least five Geanosto use a weapon, right?
So, what did I do?
Yep, I went back to the village and had the gathering hall offer me the quest.
But even after I defeated the five Geanos, even when I picked all those Snow Mountain Grass,
even after I got all the Poponotan, I couldn't go back to the village.
That's when I realized I couldn't access the storage box.
So there I was, getting boned on reward points,
and it's all because I didn't read the user's manual.
I couldn't save any money.
Kind of makes you wonder if that's how the real world works, doesn't it?
Next time, "Fixtures of Summer".

Narration:
Look forward to it!