Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu > 11. Uncontrollable Bluebird
Uncontrollable Bluebird(ままならないブルーバード)
Sousuke:
So the problem is with this gym equipment shed?
Kyoko:
Yeah. The door is locked from the inside and we can't seem to get it open.
It's creepy. We can hear noises and voices from inside so we came to you to check it out for us.
Sousuke:
Yes. You made the right decision. I can handle this.
Voice:
Isn't it ready yet? Hurry up!
Right. Okay, finished.
Whoa! This is awesome!
It's so good.
It was risky but, man, it was worth it!
Too bad it's only us enjoying it!
We could make a [kill/killing] and sell on the stuff under the table.
No way! We get caught.
Sousuke:
Narcotics. I'm sure of it.
Girls:
Narcotics?
Sousuke:
As Head of Security and agent to the Student Body President, I can't let this slide.
Stand back.
Kyoko:
Hey, um, Sousuke, what are you...
Sousuke:
Hold it right there! Don't attempt to resist. Just surrender.
Huh?
Kazama:
Sousuke? Wait a sec. What's going on?
Look what you did! They're all ruined!
Photo club members:
They're all what?
He's right!
Sousuke:
Okay, what were you doing in here?
Kazama and photo club members:
We were developing pictures!
Photo club member:
It was hard enough just trying to get these shots!
Kazama:
Yeah, thanks a lot, Sousuke. What did we ever do to deserve this?
Sousuke:
I had no idea this is what you were doing in here.
Kazama:
So you decided to shoot off a fricking stun grenade?!
Sousuke:
So why are you developing film out here?
The softball team needs this shed.
Kazama:
We're sorry for all the trouble we caused you.
But it's just that the Photography Club doesn't have its own club room.
Music club member:
What was that for?
Kaname:
You can't just use rooms without permission!
I'm tired of telling you!
Music club member:
Yeah, we know, but...
We don't have any place to practice.
Cooking club member:
Miss Chidori!
Kaname:
What?
Cooking club member:
The Biology Club's doing an experimenting on cockroaches right next to where we're making lasagna!
Tell them to stop!
Kaname:
What are you doing? We have a biology room, go use that!
Biology club member:
Yeah, well, the thing is...
The Amateur Karate Club is in there right now.
Kaname:
Tsubaki!
Tsubaki:
Chido-
Karate club member:
Captain!
Tsubaki! You, okay?!
Tsubaki:
Oh, hi Chidori. What's up?
Kaname:
Stop playing around in here!
Tsubaki:
We're not playing.
Me and the other karate club members were just studying how to fight in a space full of obstacles.
Kaname:
Well, stop it! You're bothering other people!
Go find somewhere else to practice!
Karate club member:
What're you complaining for, girly?
I mean, you're the one who kicked us out of our dojo in the first place, you know.
We're the victims here! We're like poor lost little lambs!
You should feel sorry for us!
Now what did you do that for?
Tsubaki:
Shut it!
Stop taking so much pride at how miserably pathetic you are!
Kaname:
Anyway, I do feel bad for you, but you can't practice in here.
Tsubaki:
All right, Chidori, we're sorry.
Kaname:
Thank you. As long as you understand. Tsubaki, you're a real sensible guy.
Tsubaki:
You think so?
Kaname:
Yeah! Okay, thanks a lot!
Tsubaki:
Just what the heck are you grinning at?
Kaname:
Man, it's just been one thing after another today.
Sousuke:
The Photo Club's had problems too.
They don't have a club room, so they were using the equipment shed as a dark room.
Kaname:
Somehow our school never has enough rooms for our clubs to meet in.
Sousuke:
Then what if we were to construct a new clubroom upon the roof of the school?
I have no problem acquiring temporary barracks from the US Army really cheap.
Kaname:
Really? That's a great idea!
Sousuke:
But there aren't any windows, so the air circulation is bad.
In the summer, it would be like a steam sauna.
Kaname:
Then that idea's rejected!
Hayashimizu:
Excellent work, Miss Chidori.
Kaname:
And where have you been?
Hayashimizu:
I was having a discussion with someone.
Kaname:
Oh, really.
Well, we've been here trying to figure out what to do about the shortage of club rooms.
Hayashimizu:
Yes. As was I.
Ren:
One of the club rooms has just become available.
There are only two members in the social science club so they graciously agreed to give up their room.
Kaname:
Oh, that's great.
Hayashimizu:
That being said, they gave us a rather unusual demand regarding how to decide which club would get to use the newly available room.
Kaname:
And what is it?
Hayashimizu:
Each club is to attract as many people of the opposite sex as it can.
The one that draws the most wins.
Kaname:
But that sounds like...
Nanba:
Flirting!
This is the perfect weather for flirting!
We from the Social Science Club would like to thank you all for supporting our project today.
Everyone:
Yeah...
Nanba:
Please allow me to introduce myself.
I'm the president of the Social Science Club, Shiro Nanba.
I'll go over the rules one more time.
Each club will select three members to do the flirting.
Whichever club that is able to draw in most people will win.
We will count the number of people who are present at this square at 4 o'clock PM.
Bring them or tell them to be here. Be creative, okay?
We'll start registration now.
Kaname:
I can't believe it's actually starting.
Kyoko:
I guess they all really want a room.
Ren:
Are we supposed to participate as well?
Kaname:
No, we're just observers for the Student Council.
Kyoko:
And I'm just a rubbernecker.
Kaname:
Huh?
Kaname:
Hold it, just what do you think you're doing?
Kyoko:
You're going to be taking part too?
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
Kaname:
But wait, Sousuke. You're not a member of any clubs.
Sousuke:
That's incorrect. I joined the School's Photo Club just yesterday.
Kazama:
I'm already listed in their records.
We asked Sousuke if he'd give us a hand.
Because he is pretty good looking guy and he's brave, plus he owes us for completely ruining our film, so he agreed.
Right?
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
Tsubaki:
You asked him? Damn. I should've thought of that!
Sousuke:
Well, it's too late to realize that now.
Since I've signed onto this fight, you have no chance to win.
The new room belongs to the Photography Club.
Tsubaki:
What's that?
Just how far are you gonna go to try and get in my way, Sagara?
Uh, wait.
You won't get in my way.
Sousuke:
What does that mean?
Tsubaki:
Oh, nothing. Best of luck to you.
Sousuke:
What's so funny?
Music club member:
Well, because.
Sagara, you think you're gonna get any girls in that get-up?
Sousuke:
It's quite functional. And I think that you're the ones who look foolish.
Music club member:
Oh, really? You think so, huh?
Then why don't we make a bet?
If you're able to get even one girl then I will treat you to lunch for two whole weeks.
But if you can't get any girls... Let's see...
You have to swim in that lake totally naked! How's that?
Sousuke:
Fine with me.
Music club member:
We're holding you to it.
Kaname:
Wow, hold it, Sousuke!
I know you're tough but are you sure about this?
Sousuke:
No problem.
Kyoko:
Sousuke, do you even know what "flirting" means?
Kazama:
Yeah, I explained it all to him.
Sousuke:
It's just a "girl hunt," right?
Shouldn't be hard.
Kaname:
Shouldn't be hard?
Sousuke:
Correct. Given my strength, getting women will be a pretty simple job.
Nanba:
Gentlemen, let the contest begin!
This is a part of Social Science.
Kaname:
Social Science?
Nanba:
Right. Tell me what kind of person does someone of the opposite sex find easy to trust?
An honest person? A liar? A frivolous person?
Or is there a completely different theory behind it all?
I thought I'd take a little sample and find out for myself.
Kaname:
Oh...
??? club member:
Hi, excuse me, Miss, would you like to.
Kaname:
Wow, that was rough.
??? club member:
Hey, are you okay?
Kyoko:
Hey, look. Isn't that Sasaki, the one in charge of supplies for the Student Body?
Ren:
Yeah, and I think he is also a member of the Model Club.
Sasaki:
Um, excuse me.
Girl:
Huh? What?
Sasaki:
Say, Miss, would you like to have a cup of tea with me?
Girl:
Huh? You with some cult?
Or are you trying to pick us up to... to make fun of us?
Sasaki:
Then how about karaoke or something?
Girl:
What a dork. You wanna sing anime song?
I think you're right!
Kaname:
Man, that's gotta sting.
Kyoko:
Sasaki, hang in there!
Girl:
Listen jerk, stop staring at me with those nasty eyes!
You give me the creeps!
Sasaki:
I... I'm sorry, Miss
Girl:
Turn three times and bark like a dog then we'll let you take us out for some food.
Sasaki:
Damn lousy... Screw you!
Who'd ever wanna talk to stuck-up snobs like you, anyway?
I just want a room where I can take my time and make my models!
All the model kits I haven't finished yet cry out to me every single night, begging me, pleading me to complete them!
Can 1:1 Perfect Grade ugly figures like the two of you possibly understand their burning?!
Old consuming hag witch!
Model club member:
Stop it, Sasaki! Okay, you made your point already!
Sasaki:
Let go! I'm not done!
Girl:
Let's get out of here!
Sasaki:
I'll fix them with Poly Putty! That's right. You selfish Old Type bitches sucked up in Shibuya!
Kaname:
That won't get them any points.
Nanba:
It would appear that the Model Club's case is hopeless.
Music club member:
Then we'll see you babes at the plaza in the park at 4:00.
Girl:
Okay, we'll be there.
But why can't we just go now?
Music club member:
Well, there is, uh, circumstances.
Kyoko:
Wow. They're as good as I thought.
Kaname:
That deserves about an 80, right?
Nanba:
The Music Club is taking this too easy.
The secret is to ask enough girls, you'll eventually get one.
Ren:
Well, that sounds easy enough.
Nanba:
Look, any guy can dress up nice and if he tries to talk to, say, ten girls then in the very worst case so there'll be at least one girl who will listen to him.
And most time the one girl who does bother to stop and listen will stick it out with him to the end.
If he walks around for a whole day then one girl is sure to give him her real phone number. All the guy needs is a little bit of fortitude.
Ren:
Oh, so that's how it works.
Kyoko:
I take it he speaks from his experience, huh.
Kaname:
Hey, aren't they from the Karate Club?
Kyoko:
Are they cosplaying?
Karate club member:
You're some pretty cute chicks, huh.
When you look at me with those scared, bunny-rabbit eyes, it gets me even more charged up!
Kyoko:
Looks more like kidnapping than flirting.
Tsubaki:
Stop right there!
Listen, can't you tell they don't like you?
So, let them go now!
Karate club member:
Who the hell are you?
Stupid brat! We're gonna beat your ass!
What?!
Tsubaki:
Justice prevails!
Karate club member:
It's no use! He's too tough!
We won't forget this!
Kaname:
Oh, so the "Ally of Justice" strategy.
Tsubaki:
So, are you ladies okay?
Girl:
Yeah, we're okay.
You saved us!
Tsubaki:
That's good. Well, um, if you wanna thank me, then I have a favor to ask you.
Girl:
Huh?
Tsubaki:
Could you, um, come to the stage of that park at 4 o'clock this afternoon? All of you.
Girl:
But why?
Tsubaki:
I'll tell you then! Just make sure you come, okay? See you!
Kaname:
I think I give that a 60.
Kyoko:
If he's gonna do this, he should make sure the girls say they'll actually come.
Ren:
Oh look, it's Kazama.
Kaname:
Look at her!
Kyoko:
I wonder if Shinji likes that kind of girl.
Kazama:
Sorry. It's nothing. Just gotta a call from a friend of mine.
Girl:
Yeah, what kind of friend? Your foreigner?
Kazama:
Yeah, something like that. Okay, how about right here?
Girl:
I don't care where you do it.
Just take the picture, you little pervert.
Kazama:
This is Gedor. Guidance complete. Go.
Girl:
If you make me wait, I'll add an extra charge!
30,000's too cheap for a shot of my panties anyway.
Sousuke:
Ashceros, Roger.
Girl:
What the hell is this?!
Sousuke:
Ashceros, success. This makes six now.
Girl:
Bastards! What's going on here? Let me out of this [pen/thing]!
Sousuke:
Quiet down.
Yelling will only shorten your life span.
Kazama:
Sousuke, I think we may have gotten on the wrong track here.
Sousuke:
Using money as bait to lure them is the most reliable way to ensnare them.
Kazama:
Well, yes, I do want the room, but I don't know about this.
Sousuke:
What are you talking about?
You're the one who told me that flirting is a "girl hunt."
Kazama:
I didn't think you'd hunt girls for real though!
It might be too late now to say this, but I think we've committed a big crime.
Sousuke:
No, we'll let them go tonight. It's catch and release. No problem.
Kaname:
There's a big problem!
Kazama:
Kaname!
Sousuke:
Kaname? What's wrong?
Kaname:
Why you stupid...!
Let them go! Now!
Kazama:
R-Right!
Sousuke:
That hurts, you know.
Kaname:
Shut up right now!
Didn't you ever stop and think what you were doing was just a little strange?
Sousuke:
Sorry, I still don't get this flirting thing.
Kaname:
Fine! Let me explain it to you.
Flirting is when a guy sees a girl he doesn't know on the street or in a store to ask her to go out!
The trick is to appeal to her with a smile and a cheerful attitude!
And if the girl says yes, you take her out to tea or to whatever other place she wants to go.
Don't slack on the courtesy! Never stop smiling!
Find a topic girls seem to like, and just keep talking!
And then give her compliments!
And of course you have to pay for everything!
In other words, you need to act like Kurz!
Got it? That is flirting!
Sousuke:
I can't do that.
Kaname:
Well, don't look at me!
You're hopeless! I can't believe you didn't know that.
Sousuke:
This is bad. I didn't expect this.
Kazama:
What are you gonna do, Sousuke? You made that promise, you know.
Hey Kaname, can't you let us trap just one girl like before?
Kaname:
Not even what makes you think that I'd even consider it?
Kazama:
Well, our club needs the room, but more importantly, Sousuke's in trouble!
Kaname:
And why am I supposed to care about that?
You think I'm his keeper?
Kazama:
But, Kaname...
Kaname:
It's an opportunity to think about what you did.
You're always going out of control!
And then you leave me to pick up after you!
If something had gone wrong, you wouldn't be the only one in trouble.
You would've gotten everyone in school involved due to your lack of judgement.
Sousuke:
Sorry. You have a point.
Kazama:
Sousuke.
Sousuke:
I'll use a frontal attack, and try to talk to girls like normal.
There's a possibility at least one of them will have an uncommon interest in military affairs.
Sousuke:
Pardon me.
Would you like to hear about the new Javelin missile?
Do you wanna know the real names of Defense Agency spies?
Would you like to know an efficient way to shoot your target?
Kaname:
This will be good for him.
If he keeps going like he has been, he'll never fit in with Japanese culture.
Sousuke:
Would you like top secret data about the Soviet Navy?
Old woman:
Oh, yes, thank you. I'll be 88 this year.
Sousuke:
No, um, what I meant to say...
Old woman:
I came to buy something for my grandson's birthday party today.
He looks a little like you.
Sousuke:
He looks like me?
Old woman:
He's a very sweet, honest, good boy.
I just don't know what kind of gift he'd like.
Sousuke:
How's this?
It's a French Army Tank, called a Leclerc and it's equipped with, among other things, an innovative modular shielding system.
Old woman:
Thank you very much for all your help today.
Sousuke:
No need to thank me.
Be careful on your way home.
Kaname:
Hi, Nanba? Is that you? Kaname. I'm not feeling all that well.
Yeah, I'm going home early. I'm sorry.
Thanks, bye.
Well, see you. Best of luck to you, Sousuke.
Old woman:
Thank you dear.
Nanba:
We've added up the totals.
First off, in third place with a total of three girls, is the Fishing Club!
Next, in second place with a total of five girls, is the Music Club!
Frankly, I thought they would do a little better.
And finally, in first place with an incredible total of eleven girls!
It's the Amateur Karate Club!
Karate club member:
Yeah!
Girl:
Look, I came all the way out here with you because I thought you were cute, so what's the deal with this big mob?
Tsubaki, is this why you told us to meet [you] at this park?
Nanba:
Which means our old room now belongs to the Karate Club!
Music club member:
Hey, Sagara! How many girls did your club pick up?
Sousuke:
Zero.
Music club member:
Zero! So in other words, you couldn't even get one single girl!
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
Music club member:
Then I guess you gotta take your clothes off and go swim naked.
Kazama:
Sousuke...
Tsubaki:
I told him so.
Sousuke:
All right. Fine. A promise is still a promise.
Everyone:
Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
Kaname:
Pardon me for interrupting.
I apologize for keeping you waiting, Mr. Sagara.
Sousuke:
Who are you?
Kaname:
Stop. Don't speak.
Weren't you the gentleman who insisted I come out to the park this afternoon?
It was so difficult to slip out without my husband noticing.
Kazama:
Husband?
Nanba:
Oh, she's someone's wife?
Kaname:
I believe you promised that we would share a dinner together, correct?
Sousuke:
Y-Yeah?
Kaname:
I've been looking forward to this.
Well, shall we go, then?
Sousuke:
Huh? I, uh...
Kaname:
So long, everyone. Take care.
Sousuke:
Who... Who is she?
I don't remember talking to a girl like this.
Kaname:
It seems you had a narrow escape, Mr. Sagara.
Sousuke:
Yes! Who are you?
Kaname:
My, don't you remember me? We see each other every day.
It makes me so sad.
Sousuke:
I'm very sorry, ma'am. But I don't remember.
Kaname:
What? You really don't know?
Sousuke:
No, ma'am! I'm afraid I don't.
Kaname:
I can't take it!
I did it! Am I amazing, or what?
In other words, success!
Sousuke:
K-Kaname?!
Kaname:
You couldn't tell?
You really didn't know? Yes! It was perfect!
You know, you should thank me!
I went all the way back to my house and then got my mother's kimono to wear.
Sousuke:
Oh, so that's it.
You know, you always manage to surprise me.
Kaname:
Don't I? But I think there's something else that you wanted to tell me as well.
Sousuke:
Yes, um, thank you.
Kaname:
Try again!
Sousuke:
I'm very sorry.
Kaname:
Idiot!
Sousuke:
I'll definitely pay you back for this.
Kaname:
Wrong!
Sousuke:
I'll be more careful.
You look quite lovely.
Kaname:
That's the first time you've told me.
(次回予告)
Kaname:
A lot's happened. But now it's almost over and the last show's about biological weapon?!
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
A tragic event suddenly befalls a peaceful school. Young lives disappear one by one.
Kaname:
Hold it! Isn't this a comedy?!
Sousuke:
You're being naive! The slaughter will win it acclaim as a controversial story.
It's a surefire strategy for victory.
Kaname:
No! I don't wanna die!
Sousuke:
Next time: "5th Period Hot Spot."
A shocking ending which is sure to be a milestone in Japanese anime history.
Stay tuned until the last moment!
Uncontrollable Bluebird(ままならないブルーバード)
Sousuke:
So the problem is with this gym equipment shed?
Kyoko:
Yeah. The door is locked from the inside and we can't seem to get it open.
It's creepy. We can hear noises and voices from inside so we came to you to check it out for us.
Sousuke:
Yes. You made the right decision. I can handle this.
Voice:
Isn't it ready yet? Hurry up!
Right. Okay, finished.
Whoa! This is awesome!
It's so good.
It was risky but, man, it was worth it!
Too bad it's only us enjoying it!
We could make a [kill/killing] and sell on the stuff under the table.
No way! We get caught.
Sousuke:
Narcotics. I'm sure of it.
Girls:
Narcotics?
Sousuke:
As Head of Security and agent to the Student Body President, I can't let this slide.
Stand back.
Kyoko:
Hey, um, Sousuke, what are you...
Sousuke:
Hold it right there! Don't attempt to resist. Just surrender.
Huh?
Kazama:
Sousuke? Wait a sec. What's going on?
Look what you did! They're all ruined!
Photo club members:
They're all what?
He's right!
Sousuke:
Okay, what were you doing in here?
Kazama and photo club members:
We were developing pictures!
Photo club member:
It was hard enough just trying to get these shots!
Kazama:
Yeah, thanks a lot, Sousuke. What did we ever do to deserve this?
Sousuke:
I had no idea this is what you were doing in here.
Kazama:
So you decided to shoot off a fricking stun grenade?!
Sousuke:
So why are you developing film out here?
The softball team needs this shed.
Kazama:
We're sorry for all the trouble we caused you.
But it's just that the Photography Club doesn't have its own club room.
Music club member:
What was that for?
Kaname:
You can't just use rooms without permission!
I'm tired of telling you!
Music club member:
Yeah, we know, but...
We don't have any place to practice.
Cooking club member:
Miss Chidori!
Kaname:
What?
Cooking club member:
The Biology Club's doing an experimenting on cockroaches right next to where we're making lasagna!
Tell them to stop!
Kaname:
What are you doing? We have a biology room, go use that!
Biology club member:
Yeah, well, the thing is...
The Amateur Karate Club is in there right now.
Kaname:
Tsubaki!
Tsubaki:
Chido-
Karate club member:
Captain!
Tsubaki! You, okay?!
Tsubaki:
Oh, hi Chidori. What's up?
Kaname:
Stop playing around in here!
Tsubaki:
We're not playing.
Me and the other karate club members were just studying how to fight in a space full of obstacles.
Kaname:
Well, stop it! You're bothering other people!
Go find somewhere else to practice!
Karate club member:
What're you complaining for, girly?
I mean, you're the one who kicked us out of our dojo in the first place, you know.
We're the victims here! We're like poor lost little lambs!
You should feel sorry for us!
Now what did you do that for?
Tsubaki:
Shut it!
Stop taking so much pride at how miserably pathetic you are!
Kaname:
Anyway, I do feel bad for you, but you can't practice in here.
Tsubaki:
All right, Chidori, we're sorry.
Kaname:
Thank you. As long as you understand. Tsubaki, you're a real sensible guy.
Tsubaki:
You think so?
Kaname:
Yeah! Okay, thanks a lot!
Tsubaki:
Just what the heck are you grinning at?
Kaname:
Man, it's just been one thing after another today.
Sousuke:
The Photo Club's had problems too.
They don't have a club room, so they were using the equipment shed as a dark room.
Kaname:
Somehow our school never has enough rooms for our clubs to meet in.
Sousuke:
Then what if we were to construct a new clubroom upon the roof of the school?
I have no problem acquiring temporary barracks from the US Army really cheap.
Kaname:
Really? That's a great idea!
Sousuke:
But there aren't any windows, so the air circulation is bad.
In the summer, it would be like a steam sauna.
Kaname:
Then that idea's rejected!
Hayashimizu:
Excellent work, Miss Chidori.
Kaname:
And where have you been?
Hayashimizu:
I was having a discussion with someone.
Kaname:
Oh, really.
Well, we've been here trying to figure out what to do about the shortage of club rooms.
Hayashimizu:
Yes. As was I.
Ren:
One of the club rooms has just become available.
There are only two members in the social science club so they graciously agreed to give up their room.
Kaname:
Oh, that's great.
Hayashimizu:
That being said, they gave us a rather unusual demand regarding how to decide which club would get to use the newly available room.
Kaname:
And what is it?
Hayashimizu:
Each club is to attract as many people of the opposite sex as it can.
The one that draws the most wins.
Kaname:
But that sounds like...
Nanba:
Flirting!
This is the perfect weather for flirting!
We from the Social Science Club would like to thank you all for supporting our project today.
Everyone:
Yeah...
Nanba:
Please allow me to introduce myself.
I'm the president of the Social Science Club, Shiro Nanba.
I'll go over the rules one more time.
Each club will select three members to do the flirting.
Whichever club that is able to draw in most people will win.
We will count the number of people who are present at this square at 4 o'clock PM.
Bring them or tell them to be here. Be creative, okay?
We'll start registration now.
Kaname:
I can't believe it's actually starting.
Kyoko:
I guess they all really want a room.
Ren:
Are we supposed to participate as well?
Kaname:
No, we're just observers for the Student Council.
Kyoko:
And I'm just a rubbernecker.
Kaname:
Huh?
Kaname:
Hold it, just what do you think you're doing?
Kyoko:
You're going to be taking part too?
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
Kaname:
But wait, Sousuke. You're not a member of any clubs.
Sousuke:
That's incorrect. I joined the School's Photo Club just yesterday.
Kazama:
I'm already listed in their records.
We asked Sousuke if he'd give us a hand.
Because he is pretty good looking guy and he's brave, plus he owes us for completely ruining our film, so he agreed.
Right?
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
Tsubaki:
You asked him? Damn. I should've thought of that!
Sousuke:
Well, it's too late to realize that now.
Since I've signed onto this fight, you have no chance to win.
The new room belongs to the Photography Club.
Tsubaki:
What's that?
Just how far are you gonna go to try and get in my way, Sagara?
Uh, wait.
You won't get in my way.
Sousuke:
What does that mean?
Tsubaki:
Oh, nothing. Best of luck to you.
Sousuke:
What's so funny?
Music club member:
Well, because.
Sagara, you think you're gonna get any girls in that get-up?
Sousuke:
It's quite functional. And I think that you're the ones who look foolish.
Music club member:
Oh, really? You think so, huh?
Then why don't we make a bet?
If you're able to get even one girl then I will treat you to lunch for two whole weeks.
But if you can't get any girls... Let's see...
You have to swim in that lake totally naked! How's that?
Sousuke:
Fine with me.
Music club member:
We're holding you to it.
Kaname:
Wow, hold it, Sousuke!
I know you're tough but are you sure about this?
Sousuke:
No problem.
Kyoko:
Sousuke, do you even know what "flirting" means?
Kazama:
Yeah, I explained it all to him.
Sousuke:
It's just a "girl hunt," right?
Shouldn't be hard.
Kaname:
Shouldn't be hard?
Sousuke:
Correct. Given my strength, getting women will be a pretty simple job.
Nanba:
Gentlemen, let the contest begin!
This is a part of Social Science.
Kaname:
Social Science?
Nanba:
Right. Tell me what kind of person does someone of the opposite sex find easy to trust?
An honest person? A liar? A frivolous person?
Or is there a completely different theory behind it all?
I thought I'd take a little sample and find out for myself.
Kaname:
Oh...
??? club member:
Hi, excuse me, Miss, would you like to.
Kaname:
Wow, that was rough.
??? club member:
Hey, are you okay?
Kyoko:
Hey, look. Isn't that Sasaki, the one in charge of supplies for the Student Body?
Ren:
Yeah, and I think he is also a member of the Model Club.
Sasaki:
Um, excuse me.
Girl:
Huh? What?
Sasaki:
Say, Miss, would you like to have a cup of tea with me?
Girl:
Huh? You with some cult?
Or are you trying to pick us up to... to make fun of us?
Sasaki:
Then how about karaoke or something?
Girl:
What a dork. You wanna sing anime song?
I think you're right!
Kaname:
Man, that's gotta sting.
Kyoko:
Sasaki, hang in there!
Girl:
Listen jerk, stop staring at me with those nasty eyes!
You give me the creeps!
Sasaki:
I... I'm sorry, Miss
Girl:
Turn three times and bark like a dog then we'll let you take us out for some food.
Sasaki:
Damn lousy... Screw you!
Who'd ever wanna talk to stuck-up snobs like you, anyway?
I just want a room where I can take my time and make my models!
All the model kits I haven't finished yet cry out to me every single night, begging me, pleading me to complete them!
Can 1:1 Perfect Grade ugly figures like the two of you possibly understand their burning?!
Old consuming hag witch!
Model club member:
Stop it, Sasaki! Okay, you made your point already!
Sasaki:
Let go! I'm not done!
Girl:
Let's get out of here!
Sasaki:
I'll fix them with Poly Putty! That's right. You selfish Old Type bitches sucked up in Shibuya!
Kaname:
That won't get them any points.
Nanba:
It would appear that the Model Club's case is hopeless.
Music club member:
Then we'll see you babes at the plaza in the park at 4:00.
Girl:
Okay, we'll be there.
But why can't we just go now?
Music club member:
Well, there is, uh, circumstances.
Kyoko:
Wow. They're as good as I thought.
Kaname:
That deserves about an 80, right?
Nanba:
The Music Club is taking this too easy.
The secret is to ask enough girls, you'll eventually get one.
Ren:
Well, that sounds easy enough.
Nanba:
Look, any guy can dress up nice and if he tries to talk to, say, ten girls then in the very worst case so there'll be at least one girl who will listen to him.
And most time the one girl who does bother to stop and listen will stick it out with him to the end.
If he walks around for a whole day then one girl is sure to give him her real phone number. All the guy needs is a little bit of fortitude.
Ren:
Oh, so that's how it works.
Kyoko:
I take it he speaks from his experience, huh.
Kaname:
Hey, aren't they from the Karate Club?
Kyoko:
Are they cosplaying?
Karate club member:
You're some pretty cute chicks, huh.
When you look at me with those scared, bunny-rabbit eyes, it gets me even more charged up!
Kyoko:
Looks more like kidnapping than flirting.
Tsubaki:
Stop right there!
Listen, can't you tell they don't like you?
So, let them go now!
Karate club member:
Who the hell are you?
Stupid brat! We're gonna beat your ass!
What?!
Tsubaki:
Justice prevails!
Karate club member:
It's no use! He's too tough!
We won't forget this!
Kaname:
Oh, so the "Ally of Justice" strategy.
Tsubaki:
So, are you ladies okay?
Girl:
Yeah, we're okay.
You saved us!
Tsubaki:
That's good. Well, um, if you wanna thank me, then I have a favor to ask you.
Girl:
Huh?
Tsubaki:
Could you, um, come to the stage of that park at 4 o'clock this afternoon? All of you.
Girl:
But why?
Tsubaki:
I'll tell you then! Just make sure you come, okay? See you!
Kaname:
I think I give that a 60.
Kyoko:
If he's gonna do this, he should make sure the girls say they'll actually come.
Ren:
Oh look, it's Kazama.
Kaname:
Look at her!
Kyoko:
I wonder if Shinji likes that kind of girl.
Kaname:
So his strategy is to beg and plead?
Kazama:
Down here.
Girl:
Yeah. Sure.
Kazama:
It'll be quick.
Gedor calling Ashceros.
Code Six, Delta, Bravo, Sierra, over.
Sousuke:
Ashceros, roger. Proceed.
Girl:
Hey, what're you doing?
Kazama:
Sorry. It's nothing. Just gotta a call from a friend of mine.
Girl:
Yeah, what kind of friend? Your foreigner?
Kazama:
Yeah, something like that. Okay, how about right here?
Girl:
I don't care where you do it.
Just take the picture, you little pervert.
Kazama:
This is Gedor. Guidance complete. Go.
Girl:
If you make me wait, I'll add an extra charge!
30,000's too cheap for a shot of my panties anyway.
Sousuke:
Ashceros, Roger.
Girl:
What the hell is this?!
Sousuke:
Ashceros, success. This makes six now.
Girl:
Bastards! What's going on here? Let me out of this [pen/thing]!
Sousuke:
Quiet down.
Yelling will only shorten your life span.
Kazama:
Sousuke, I think we may have gotten on the wrong track here.
Sousuke:
Using money as bait to lure them is the most reliable way to ensnare them.
Kazama:
Well, yes, I do want the room, but I don't know about this.
Sousuke:
What are you talking about?
You're the one who told me that flirting is a "girl hunt."
Kazama:
I didn't think you'd hunt girls for real though!
It might be too late now to say this, but I think we've committed a big crime.
Sousuke:
No, we'll let them go tonight. It's catch and release. No problem.
Kaname:
There's a big problem!
Kazama:
Kaname!
Sousuke:
Kaname? What's wrong?
Kaname:
Why you stupid...!
Let them go! Now!
Kazama:
R-Right!
Sousuke:
That hurts, you know.
Kaname:
Shut up right now!
Didn't you ever stop and think what you were doing was just a little strange?
Sousuke:
Sorry, I still don't get this flirting thing.
Kaname:
Fine! Let me explain it to you.
Flirting is when a guy sees a girl he doesn't know on the street or in a store to ask her to go out!
The trick is to appeal to her with a smile and a cheerful attitude!
And if the girl says yes, you take her out to tea or to whatever other place she wants to go.
Don't slack on the courtesy! Never stop smiling!
Find a topic girls seem to like, and just keep talking!
And then give her compliments!
And of course you have to pay for everything!
In other words, you need to act like Kurz!
Got it? That is flirting!
Sousuke:
I can't do that.
Kaname:
Well, don't look at me!
You're hopeless! I can't believe you didn't know that.
Sousuke:
This is bad. I didn't expect this.
Kazama:
What are you gonna do, Sousuke? You made that promise, you know.
Hey Kaname, can't you let us trap just one girl like before?
Kaname:
Not even what makes you think that I'd even consider it?
Kazama:
Well, our club needs the room, but more importantly, Sousuke's in trouble!
Kaname:
And why am I supposed to care about that?
You think I'm his keeper?
Kazama:
But, Kaname...
Kaname:
It's an opportunity to think about what you did.
You're always going out of control!
And then you leave me to pick up after you!
If something had gone wrong, you wouldn't be the only one in trouble.
You would've gotten everyone in school involved due to your lack of judgement.
Sousuke:
Sorry. You have a point.
Kazama:
Sousuke.
Sousuke:
I'll use a frontal attack, and try to talk to girls like normal.
There's a possibility at least one of them will have an uncommon interest in military affairs.
Sousuke:
Pardon me.
Would you like to hear about the new Javelin missile?
Do you wanna know the real names of Defense Agency spies?
Would you like to know an efficient way to shoot your target?
Kaname:
This will be good for him.
If he keeps going like he has been, he'll never fit in with Japanese culture.
Sousuke:
Would you like top secret data about the Soviet Navy?
Old woman:
Oh, yes, thank you. I'll be 88 this year.
Sousuke:
No, um, what I meant to say...
Old woman:
I came to buy something for my grandson's birthday party today.
He looks a little like you.
Sousuke:
He looks like me?
Old woman:
He's a very sweet, honest, good boy.
I just don't know what kind of gift he'd like.
Sousuke:
How's this?
It's a French Army Tank, called a Leclerc and it's equipped with, among other things, an innovative modular shielding system.
Old woman:
Thank you very much for all your help today.
Sousuke:
No need to thank me.
Be careful on your way home.
Kaname:
Hi, Nanba? Is that you? Kaname. I'm not feeling all that well.
Yeah, I'm going home early. I'm sorry.
Thanks, bye.
Well, see you. Best of luck to you, Sousuke.
Old woman:
Thank you dear.
Nanba:
We've added up the totals.
First off, in third place with a total of three girls, is the Fishing Club!
Next, in second place with a total of five girls, is the Music Club!
Frankly, I thought they would do a little better.
And finally, in first place with an incredible total of eleven girls!
It's the Amateur Karate Club!
Karate club member:
Yeah!
Girl:
Look, I came all the way out here with you because I thought you were cute, so what's the deal with this big mob?
Tsubaki, is this why you told us to meet [you] at this park?
Nanba:
Which means our old room now belongs to the Karate Club!
Music club member:
Hey, Sagara! How many girls did your club pick up?
Sousuke:
Zero.
Music club member:
Zero! So in other words, you couldn't even get one single girl!
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
Music club member:
Then I guess you gotta take your clothes off and go swim naked.
Kazama:
Sousuke...
Tsubaki:
I told him so.
Sousuke:
All right. Fine. A promise is still a promise.
Everyone:
Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
Kaname:
Pardon me for interrupting.
I apologize for keeping you waiting, Mr. Sagara.
Sousuke:
Who are you?
Kaname:
Stop. Don't speak.
Weren't you the gentleman who insisted I come out to the park this afternoon?
It was so difficult to slip out without my husband noticing.
Kazama:
Husband?
Nanba:
Oh, she's someone's wife?
Kaname:
I believe you promised that we would share a dinner together, correct?
Sousuke:
Y-Yeah?
Kaname:
I've been looking forward to this.
Well, shall we go, then?
Sousuke:
Huh? I, uh...
Kaname:
So long, everyone. Take care.
Sousuke:
Who... Who is she?
I don't remember talking to a girl like this.
Kaname:
It seems you had a narrow escape, Mr. Sagara.
Sousuke:
Yes! Who are you?
Kaname:
My, don't you remember me? We see each other every day.
It makes me so sad.
Sousuke:
I'm very sorry, ma'am. But I don't remember.
Kaname:
What? You really don't know?
Sousuke:
No, ma'am! I'm afraid I don't.
Kaname:
I can't take it!
I did it! Am I amazing, or what?
In other words, success!
Sousuke:
K-Kaname?!
Kaname:
You couldn't tell?
You really didn't know? Yes! It was perfect!
You know, you should thank me!
I went all the way back to my house and then got my mother's kimono to wear.
Sousuke:
Oh, so that's it.
You know, you always manage to surprise me.
Kaname:
Don't I? But I think there's something else that you wanted to tell me as well.
Sousuke:
Yes, um, thank you.
Kaname:
Try again!
Sousuke:
I'm very sorry.
Kaname:
Idiot!
Sousuke:
I'll definitely pay you back for this.
Kaname:
Wrong!
Sousuke:
I'll be more careful.
You look quite lovely.
Kaname:
That's the first time you've told me.
(次回予告)
Kaname:
A lot's happened. But now it's almost over and the last show's about biological weapon?!
Sousuke:
Affirmative.
A tragic event suddenly befalls a peaceful school. Young lives disappear one by one.
Kaname:
Hold it! Isn't this a comedy?!
Sousuke:
You're being naive! The slaughter will win it acclaim as a controversial story.
It's a surefire strategy for victory.
Kaname:
No! I don't wanna die!
Sousuke:
Next time: "5th Period Hot Spot."
A shocking ending which is sure to be a milestone in Japanese anime history.
Stay tuned until the last moment!