Haruhi-chan:
Listen up! We're gonna have ourselves a christmas party today!

Mikuru:
Yay! Yay!

Haruhi-chan:
Dumbass! You better take this pretty seriously because if you don't they're gonna come and kill us all.

Kyon:
Who are you talking about?

Haruhi-chan:
I'm talking about people who stalk rooftops at night, they carry sacks full of presents on their backs and sneak in and out of houses without anyone noticing they've been there. They're the elite members of a mysterious organization who carry out their secret mission once a year, known as Santa Claus! The SOS Brigade is the only thing standing between them and the unsuspecting public! Get ready 'cause they're coming for us tonight!

Koizumi:
You're kidding!

Haruhi-chan:
The only chance we have at beating the threat known as Santa Claus is to have a fool-proof battle plan. So here it is everyone! The Plan! First we're gonna throw him off our trail, we put up a sign in the window of the computer club's room to make him think it's ours. Next Kyon's gonna hide in the room and wait by himself until the target shows up. The rest of us are goon be here in the SOS Brigade's room partying until we run out of cake. We have to be careful though, if we get too loud Santa might here us and abort the mission. That is all! Any objections, besides Kyon?

Kyon:
I can't even object now?

Haruhi-chan:
We're gonna need all the help we can get so I got Miss Tsuruya to give us a hand.

Tsuruya-san:
Hi guys! Ready to party?

Haruhi-chan:
If we end up having a showdown with Santa she's gonna step up and turn the tables on him.

Tsuruya-san:
Hahaha, I can handle him. I can't wait to practice my fighting technique on that guy. I'm gonna become a master of the Tsuruya family fighting style when I turn nineteen.

Kyon:
No way!

Tsuruya-san:
What's up Kyon? Don't you believe me?

Kyon:
I don't, it's pretty obvious you made that last part up.

Tsuruya-san:
Okay then, take a look at this.

Kyon:
What am I looking at?

Tsuruya-san:
It's a picture of when I fought a bear in the mountains.

Mikuru:
Wow! Cool!

Kyon:
That's so fake!


Haruhi-chan:
Perfect! Santa Claus is gonna see this sign, think we're here and come right through this window.

Kyon:
You sure that'll work?

Haruhi-chan:
Now we just need to find a good hiding place for you. A-hah! Here, put this on!

Kyon:
I absolutely refuse!

Haruhi-chan:
Your refusal has been refused! Put it on!

Kyon:
You're evil!

Haruhi-chan:
C'mon, it's okay, don't be such a baby, just put it on. You're gonna look great.

Kyon:
I don't think I'm gonna care how I'm gonna look with that thing on my head.

Haruhi-chan:
Hahahahaha.

Kyon:
I wanna die now!


Taniguchi:
I can't believe I made it all the way over here without being spotted. I'm finally gonna be able to get rid of this Kappa. I picked a perfect night to do this too, no one's gonna suspect it's me in this getup. It's pretty risky with Suzumiya and the others still here, whatever! Tonight's the night this freaking' Kappa's going home for good! Alright, here I go!


Kyon:
Huh! I wonder if Santa's really gonna show up tonight, I feel so stupid. Everyone's next door having a good time. What the hell! But if I wasn't here i'd be home spending Christmas with my little sister and that wouldn't be much fun either. Huh? Oops…What…I…Santa?

Taniguchi:
Woowahhaaaaa… What is that!!!

Haruhi-chan:
What was that?!? It's santa!!!

Kyon:
He grew big and ran away.

Haruhi-chan:
I think he's trying to find a hiding place on campus. C'mon guys, let's catch him! Come back!

Koizumi:
Interesting, Miss Suzumiya was picturing Santa to be this monstrous person so that's exactly what she got. Her power took what was in her imagination and transformed Taniguchi's body.

Kyon:
It's no use, I can't catch him! For a big guy, he can really move.

Haruhi-chan:
I know but we can slow down now because he's heading right into my trap.

Kyon:
What trap? Miss Tsuruya!

Tsuruya-san:
Like I said, leave it to me I can handle this guy! Now!

Haruhi-chan:
Awesome job Miss Tsuruya and you too Yuki.

Kyon:
The Tsuruya family fighting style was real?

Haruhi-chan:
No! I can't believe it, he's gone! he just left his clothes behind and ran away!

Kyon:
Is it safe to just let him go?

Yuki:
I neutralized the changes Miss Suzumiya made to Santa's body.

Haruhi-chan:
Come back Santa! Don't go!!!


Taniguchi:
Okay, so why am I naked?