Kamichu!>Episode 03

I Didn't Mean it


Yurie: Tama still hasn't come back.

Shoukichi: Of course not. She's not here, dummy.

Yurie: You don't even care she's gone. It's been three whole days.

Father: Well, she's probably out socializing.

Mother: Socializing? Tama?

Father: Out drinking with other cats and maybe a hot spring's trip.

Mother: Drinking?

Father: She might be. I saw a lot of socializing cats when I was a kid. They get together in some empty field, start drinking and carrying on...

Yurie: Where could she possibly be?

Mother: Wow! I hope Tama’s having a good time.

Mitsue: Maybe you did something. You know, something that made her want to run away.

Yurie: But I'm so nice to her. I give her a bath every day because she has fleas, and a tangerine after dinner. I played with her all day on Sunday and I pet her while she slept. See, I'm a good cat owner.

Mitsue: Yeah, but... cats need some alone time, too.

Yurie: Hmm? Really?

Woman: Good morning, Yurie.

Yurie: Good morning.

Mitsue: Good morning.

Matsuri: All right. The line starts here. No cutting, you guys!

Student: So, uh, yeah. I kinda broke a window in the teachers' lounge. Uh, can you use your god powers so I don't have to pay?

Yurie: Uh...

Student: I lost my wallet today. Hey, do you think somebody else picked it up?

Student: My grades went down and now my folks want to, like, cut my allowance. Can you stop 'em?

Yurie: Well, they are your parents.

Matsuri: Okay, each customer gets one free photo. Next please!

Student: Cool! She's glowing.

Matsuri: Congratulations, Yurie! You're definitely the most popular god who's ever gone to school here. So, let's keep up the good work, okay?

Yurie: But... I'm the only god who's ever gone to school here. I can't do this day after day. Are all gods as busy as this?

Mitsue: Hey, everybody's problem had something to do with money, huh? I wonder if it's just a coincidence.

Matsuri: The economy's not too good. We're getting a lot of money requests at the shrine, too.

Mitsue: Isn't that a bit strange?

Yurie: My allowance's only 800 yen a month, Matsuri. Maybe I'm not the right person to come to with money problems.

Matsuri: Hey, I've got an idea.

Yurie: Hmm?

Mitsue: Hmm?

Yurie: Is this all right?

Matsuri: It'll do. We salute you! We salute you! We salute you!

Mitsue: You called me?

Matsuri: It seems like a lot of people are having money trouble these days. Any idea why?

Mitsue: Wow, you're right. I guess that's why the collection box in the shrine's been empty all week.

Matsuri: It's empty!? What's going on? You slacker! Talk!

Mitsue: Uh, okay, just calm down. They've issued a poverty warning.

Yurie: A poverty warning? What's that?

Mitsue: The God of Poverty is making his way toward this town. We're already seeing the effects. Everyone hates him so he wanders from place to place but we get a monthly forecast.

Matsuri: What happens when he gets here?

Mitsue: Everybody in town will become poor.

Matsuri: Unacceptable!! And right when I figured out a way to get out of debt, too!

Mitsue: Oh, yeah. So, let's try to keep it from happening, okay?

Yurie: Keep it from happening? There! Do these charms really bring good luck?

Yashima: Oh, definitely. If we distribute these charms all over town, they'll boost the town's luck. And that should cancel out the poverty god's misfortune.

Yurie: But there are so many. It seems to weaken their power.

Matsuri: So, remind me why I'm doing this again?

Mitsue: Your shrine's god told us to go out here. Don't look at me. Hey!

Matsuri: Huh? Wow! You actually found one!

Boy: Oh, look! It's the guitar girl!

Girl: Hey, play guitar for me!

Boy: C'mon, rock out again!

Girl: Yeah!

Boy: Yeah!

Mitsue: Nothing cool ever happens to me.

Yashima: To tell you the truth, we can't listen to every single request. If we made them all happen, nobody would bother working hard anymore.

Yurie: But... how do I know which request that I should try to make happen?

Yashima: Let me think... hey, why don't you join the god association?

Yurie: God association?

Yashima: It's like a union for gods. If you join, they'll send you your own collection and delivery team.

Yurie: Oh, what do they do?

Yashima: They sort out the requests you get and deliver the best of them to you. Then all you have to do is make those requests come true. It's a good way to go for beginner gods.

Yurie: Huh? Then, can you help me join?

Yashima: Sure. But it'll take a while for your paperwork to go through. Until then you'll have to be patient.

Yurie: I can be patient. Okay!

Matsuri: We're back.

Mitsue: We're back.

Yurie: Hey, did you have any luck?

Mitsue: Oh, yeah. Plenty of work.

Yashima: Excellent work, girls. Let's wrap those into the charms. We'll distribute them all over town tomorrow.

Yurie: Right!

Matsuri: What is that?

Yurie: Huh? Oh, I wanna put those up around town too.

Mitsue: Fine. But, is that supposed to be Tama?

Shoukichi: You worry way too much, Yurie. I heard about this cat in Kuwahara today. It ran away for like a week this one time. And then it came back one afternoon like it'd never even been gone. That's just how cats are.

Yurie: Please can I have a kitten? Please?

Mother: I don't know, honey.

Father: If you promise to take care of her, you can have one.

Yurie: I will! I will!

Father: Well, all right then. But I'll send her to "Happy Cat Land" if you break your promise.

Mother: Happy Cat Land?

Father: Haven't you heard of it, Akane? It's a kingdom across the ocean, chock-full of emancipated cats.

Mother: Oh, wow!

Father: Cats without owners go and live there in confidence.... They take care of each other.

Shoukichi: What are you gonna name her?

Yurie: Huh? Uh...

Mother: Really! Oh, I would love to go there.

Father: You're not a cat, honey.

Yurie: Oh, she's so cute! It's too much! I know! I'm gonna name you Tama!

Shoukichi: Tama?

Father: Yurie, look over here.

Yurie: Uh-huh. Haha.

Mitsue: All right, girls. Let's begin the poverty god prevention ceremony. Remember to stay focused on our goal. We're not going to be poor and we won't let the people here become poor. No poverty allowed.

Girls: Right.

???: Ah! It's been so long since somebody awakened me. Thank you. I feel so refreshed.

Yurie: Oh! Glad I could help.

???: Just leave it to me. I'll keep my eyes peeled for suspicious people!

Yurie: One more thing.

???: Huh? Okay, I'll let you know if I see her!

Yurie: Thank you very much.

Yurie: Huh. Huh?

Cat: Meow, meow!

Yurie: Uh. Huh. Huh? It can't be! But we all worked really hard.

Mitsue: What's going on?

Yurie: Hey, Mitsue.

Mitsue: The poverty god, did he do this?

Yurie: I don't know.

Man: Wait! No! Not the money! This isn't good!

Mitsue: What's happening here?

Yurie: It is the poverty god.

Mitsue: Ah, he's already here.

Yurie: Huh?

Matsuri: In our town?

Mitsue: Oh, yeah. But it's strange. The forecast says he shouldn't be here yet. Oh, guess I'm two issues behind.

Miko: Yashima!

Mitsue: Hey, what was that for? Why'd you hit me?

Matsuri: I hit you because you were stupid, stupid.

Mitsue: Your stupid god was the stupid one, not me. You're stupid. And another thing... I'm so sorry. Those other two issues must've arrived after I ran away.

Yurie: So the poverty god has already arrived?

Mitsue: Yes. And we don't have any choice but to confront him. We have to meet him face to face and chase him out of our town.

Yurie: Okay, but where is he?

Mitsue: We're measuring the happiness levels at various points in town right now. Wherever the poverty god is hiding, will register as the unhappiest place compared to everywhere else.

Yurie: So he's hiding out at the unhappiest place in town?

Mitsue: Yes.

Matsuri: The whole town's unhappiest?

Mitsue: Oh, wow! That shouldn't be!

Matsuri: If saying “that shouldn’t be” did any good, we wouldn't need the President or the gods!

Miko: Please stop it!
Yurie: Look at this! Poverty god's here? I don't get it.

Mitsue: It's like he's sitting right under our noses.

Matsuri: I don't care where that thing is sitting. I'll get him with a single shot.

Miko: Big sister, you're scary.

Yurie: Huh?

Tama: Meow.

Yurie: Tama.

Matsuri: Tama?

Miko: They don't look [alike].

Yurie: Tama, what are you doing here?

Mitsue: Yurie, don't!

Yurie: Huh?

Mitsue: That cat isn't what it seems.

Yurie: What do you mean? Isn't that Tama?

Tama: Here we go.

Girls: Huh?

Yurie: You're not Tama?

Tama: Sorry, so, yeah, I'm the poverty god... Wow!

Matsuri: Don't move!

Yurie: Tama!

Matsuri: Hey, get back here!

Yurie: Matsuri, no!

Mitsue: The poverty god shouldn't be just taking over Tama's body like that. You're one to talk!

Yashima: Miko, put up the devine tags around the shrine so that the poverty god can't escape.

Matsuri: Come back!

Miko: Right.

Yurie: Matsuri, stop it!

Matsuri: That isn't Tama! It's a devil that came here to bankrupt my shrine. Don't even try to defend him!

Yurie: I'm not defending him! Wait!

Mitsue: I gotcha.

Tama: Meow!

Mitsue: Ah, those were really expensive!

Yurie: Are you all right? Huh?

Tama: Meow.

Yurie: Uh. I won't let you go.

Tama: I wasn't gonna run like that. But that girl down there meant business.

Miko: Just you wake up.

Yurie: Where's Tama? What happened to her? Is she still in there?

Tama: Yeah.

Yurie: Huh. Give Tama back to me. Get out of her body. Just leave already. The whole town's suffering because of you.

Tama: I understand. I know I've emerged to annoy everybody I always do.

Yurie: Huh?

Tama: I'm sorry for all the bad luck. See you around.

Tama: No! Don't go yet!

Yurie: Huh?

Tama: Meow.

Yurie: Tama? Is that you?

Tama: Yurie. Please don't let him run away.

Yurie: Why not? He is [the/a] poverty god.

Tama: I know what he is, Yurie. But he saved my life. Five days ago, I was trying to run away from home.

Yurie: Why?

Tama: Please understand. I was stressed out from all the attention you were giving me but that wasn't the real reason.

Yurie: Oh.

Tama: I wanted to try out new possibilities. I wanted to say good bye to my old surroundings, filled with curiosity I jumped head first into a world I'd never known. I didn't know much about the real world. I even forgot that I can't swim. I was drowning.


Yurie: Tama...

Tama: I was about to die. My life with you flashed before my eyes, Yurie. I wished I stayed at home. That's when the poverty god to possession of my body and saved my life. (???) I'm really hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since then.

Yashima: Well, the poverty god is in you.

Yurie: Huh?

Yashima: So the whole time we were looking for you, you were here at the shrine all along.

Yurie: But couldn't you sense he was here?

Yashima: Uh, well, Tama is a pretty small cat, you know.

Tama: Meow. Please, Yurie. This poor god needs a place to call home, too. Can we take him back to your house?

Yurie: But he's a poverty god!

Tama: That doesn't change what he did for me. Yurie, if it weren't for him , I know I'd be dead right now.

Yashima: Uh, this sounds like a family matter, so I feel kind of weird taking sides.

Tama: Hey, Tama. I appreciate the offer, but Yurie is right. I'm a poverty god. All I do is mess things up for folks. That isn't true. You saved my life. What didn't you?

Yurie: Huh?

Tama: Don't let others tell you what kind of person you have to be. Poverty gods have just as much a right to be happy as everyone else. That means a lot to me, Tama. Drifting from town to town won't be so bad now that I know there are kind folks like you. No way! If you won't keep him, I'm leaving, too. Yurie, thank you for everything. Good bye!

Yurie: Don't go away! Please, Tama! Don't go! I don't wanna be poor, but I'll be poor. Just don't leave me again!

Tama: Meow! Then, we can keep him?

Yurie: Uh-huh, if you take care of him.

Mitsue: Huh? They're okay!

Yurie: Huh? What's happening, Yashima?

Yashima: Your love for Tama, it fixed everything.

Tama: Meow.

Yurie: Haha.

Yashima: In this town at least, it looks like the poverty god's presence isn't having any sort of negative effect anymore. As long as you remember to counteract his misfortune with your own powers every now and then, we'll be fine.

Yurie: I will. He's our pet now.

Tama: Meow. Sorry about all that trouble, guys.

Yurie: It's fine. Just promise me you'll stick around, so Tama won't run away again.

Tama: Meow. I won't run away again until I know how to swim.

Yurie: Huh?

Matsuri: Yurie! Come help us tie up the wishes, okay?

Yurie: Yeah.

Tama: Real nice of that girl to keep me around like this.

Yasima: Hm, whether it's a person or god, Yurie just can't abandon somebody who's in trouble.

Tama: She's an amazing god, huh.

Yashima: She's a great person.

Yurie: Mmhmm.

-- ED --

I don't believe it. A Martians' spaceship landed in Japan.

Did the Martians wanna be our friends?

Or they're here to invade us. Chu chu chu and chu.

The next episode is "Earth's Crisis". I'll save the planet.