Eiko:
Hello.
She looks a bit too classy to be here.

Chizuru:
What are you waiting for?
You better go and take her order.

Eiko:
Where did Nagisa go...?
She works the late shift...

Chizuru:
Go get some experience.

Eiko:
Um, eat... would you, I mean... drink, you know it's a...
How menu... would you... ordering, right?
ZdraVstVuyte.
Vy budete yest' zdes'?

Cindy:
I'm looking for aliens.

Eiko:
What?

Cindy:
I hear one's been spotted around here.
Have you seen it?

Eiko:
I'm not quite sure what you mean.
Oh. Well, she's not quite an alien.

Cindy:
I finally found one!
You need to come with me to my lab right away for an immediate analysis.

Squid Girl:
Now just a kraken minute!
What the kelp is all this about?
Who the gill are you anyway!?

Cindy:
Oh, I'm very sorry. I haven't introduced myself.
I'm from the American Institute for Extraterrestrial Countermeasure Investigation.
My name is Cindy Campbell.
My job is to travel all over the world in search of extraterrestrials.

Squid Girl:
What a giant waste of time.

Eiko:
Yeah, well, you're one to talk.

Cindy:
That's where we stand.
So, please don't mind coming along with me, do you?

Squid Girl:
You bet your beak I do!
You're just a crazy human trying to inksist that I'm an alien when it's obvious I'm not!

Cindy:
Oh, yeah? Well, I've heard countless stories about aliens that are just like you.
You must be one.

Squid Girl:
What the squid can she possibly know about aliens, anyway?
Listen to me! I'm Squid Girl, emissary of the sea!
And I come to inkvade the surface!

Eiko:
That's very nice, now get down off the counter.

Cindy:
Aliens plan to invade the earth all the time!
Now I'm certain you're one of them.

Squid Girl:
You know, I really wish you didn't have such a one-track mind.
But if you refuse to get a clue and listen...I'll just have to use force of arms!
Now what do you say?
Ten tentacles and squid ink should be proof enough that I'm a squid from the sea, not a space alien!

Cindy:
Powerful tentacles, bizarre secretions, this is the alien encounter I've been dreaming of!

Squid Girl:
This sucker creeps me out!

Humans are such a pain in the beak.
They're completely out of their gills.
Geez. I came here to inkvade and to conquer, not to clean up a bunch of trash on the beach.

Cindy:
Here.

Squid Girl:
That was nice. Thanks a lot!

Cindy:
Is this fuel for your star ship, or do you use them for food?

Squid Girl:
She squidding followed me.
How about inkstead of fooling around here, you try doing some worthwhile work, too?

Cindy:
What? How can you say that?
I'm communicating with an alien and that work is very important.
What could be more worthwhile than that?

Squid Girl:
I was born in that ocean! I lived there! I grew up there and I came up here to the surface to inkvade mankind and conquer the world!
Now for the love of all that's wet, could you stop treating me like an alien!?

Cindy:
Do you have any proof that your people originated on the earth?
Even if you were born in the sea, it doesn't necessarily mean you're native to earth.
Your people may have come to earth well before you were born and then built a base deep in the ocean to avoid human detection.
Then if you evolved into a squid-human hybrid form in order to operate both on land and sea,
it would prove the old theory that aliens and undersea dwellers are actually the same and it would also mean that, regardless of what you think, you were, in fact, an alien....

Squid Girl:
So, as it turns out, I was an alien this whole time and didn't even realize it.

Eiko:
Wait! What the hell are you talking about?

Squid Girl:
Could you refer to me as a Squiddian from now on?

Eiko:
You're hanging on to the "squid" part?

Squid Girl:
If you don't believe me, I can show you proof that I'm really a Squiddian.
I'm an alien. Therefore I draw mysterious circles.

Eiko:
You're just doodling in the sand.

Squid Girl:
I'm an alien. Therefore I draw geoglyphs.

Eiko:
That's just another doodle.
Where did you learn that!?

Squid Girl:
I am the unidentified--

Eiko:
Seriously, where!?

Squid Girl:
I am from th--agh!
I hit myself too kraken hard!

Eiko:
Yeah, well, I seriously doubt aliens even talk that way in the first place.

Squid Girl:
Anysquid, you'll regard me as an alien from now on whether you believe I am or not.

Eiko:
All right. I guess if that's what you want, it's fine by me.
So, Squiddian formerly known as Squid Girl...
I need for you to take this order to the rear left table.

Squid Girl:
I'd be gladius to.

Takeru:
How're you doing, Squiddian Girlie? C'mon, let's go play!

Squid Girl:
Okay, Takeru. I'll play with you in a little while.
Wait! This is the way things always are.
I inksist that you treat me like an alien, okay?

Eiko:
What's the big deal, anyway?
Whoa, I know that scent. Lobster!

Chizuru:
Here you go, little Squiddian.

Squid Girl:
It looks so gilly good.
Can I eat it right now?

Chizuru:
Yes, of course.
Oh, wait a minute.
I nearly forgot that you're a space alien now. Too bad.
I wonder if Squiddians even eat shrimp or lobster.

Eiko:
You know, I'm pretty sure they don't.
Do you know, Takeru?

Takeru:
What I've heard about space aliens is that they steal pigs and cows and drink their blood.

Squid Girl:
That sounds terrible!

Chizuru:
Oh, yes. It sure does. Livestock is one thing but aliens never eat shellfish of any kind.

Eiko:
Well, we certainly don't want it to go to waste, so I suppose I'll eat it. Bet it's tasty!
Hey! What do you think you're doing, space alien?

Squid Girl:
What the gill are you talking about?
I'm Squid Girl and I'm hungry.
Give me a break.

Cindy:
Tch! The brainwashing must have worn off.

Chizuru:
I'm very sorry, Miss. But I simply can't let you take Squid Girl away.
Not even if she is a space alien.
Isn't that right, Eiko?

Eiko:
That's right. Like she said, you can't have her.

Squid Girl:
Oh, Eiko...

Eiko:
She's way too good a servant for us to let her go anywhere, you know.

Squid Girl:
Nobody's on my side!

Eiko:
Besides, all you're gonna get from studying this one is a fishy smell and a whole bunch of squid ink.

Cindy:
Okay, I suppose I'll be calling it quits for today.
But I can assure you I'm never going away.
I'll keep coming back until you admit to being the extraterrestrial I know you are.