The Spite of Youth


Yurie: Mitsue.

Mitsue: Yeah?

Yurie: I, uh, kind of turned into a god.

Mitsue: What kind?

Yurie: I don't know. I mean, it happened last night.

Mitsue: Huh? Have an offering.

Yurie: I don't want it.

Mitsue: I didn't know gods were so picky about their food.

Yurie: You think I'm making it up. Anyway, now that I've turned into a god, I guess I should try to figure out what kind of god I am. But I don't really know how to do it.

Mitsue: By the way, don't forget we have that test next period.

Yurie: You still don't believe me.

Matsuri: You were saying you became a god? Yurie Hitotsubashi, right? Nah, too formal. Just Yurie.

Yurie: Er, Saegusa?

Matsuri: Call me Matsuri. As of right now, I'm your newest best friend. Nice to meet you, Yurie.

Matsuri: I can totally tell. There is something different about you today.

Yurie: How'd you know?

Mitsue: Well, Saegusa's family does run a shrine.

Matsuri: Remember when the teacher scolded you in class today for forgetting your homework? You were full of divine grace!

Yurie: Was I really full of divine grace, Mitsue?

Mitsue: You, full of it? Oh yeah.

Yurie: So, uh, Saegusa?

Matsuri: Matsuri, I insist.

Yurie: Okay, then. So, what kind of god am I, Matsuri?

Matsuri: Haven't a clue. We'll figure it out. I'll help you.

Yurie: Whoa, hey!

Mitsue: Hey, what about the test?

Matsuri: I'll study later!

Teacher: Slow down, ladies.

Yurie: Why are we on the roof?

Matsuri: Because, nobody can see us up here.

Yurie: You don't want anyone watching? How come?

Matsuri: We're gonna find out what kind of powers you have. Then we'll know what kind of god you are. It'll be a cinch!
Yurie: How'll we do that?

Matsuri: Hmm, I got an idea. What do TV superheroes do when they use their powers?

Yurie: Um, they make a funny pose and yell something, right?

Matsuri: What a great friend! A god and clever, too.

Yurie: I have to do that? Yell and pose? Can't think of anything.

Matsuri: Fine, let's start off with something you know!

(Yurie and Matsuri are humming a radio calisthenics melody.)

Matsuri: Do you feel anything yet? Some power welling up within you?

Yurie: I feel dumb.

Matsuri: What kind of attitude is that?! C'mon, you've gotta focus!

(They are humming a radio calisthenics melody.)
Matsuri: Just be yourself, okay?

Yurie: I don't wanna be myself anymore.

Mitsue: Nothing cool ever happens to me.

Matsuri: Take command of your godness! Own it!

Yurie: Hmmmm...

Matsuri: C'mon, put your heart in it!

Yurie: I'm sorry, but I feel silly.

Mitsue: Want it?

Yurie: Thank you.

Mitsue: What's that?

Yurie: Oh? Huh? Almost there. Ninomiya?

Ninomiya: It's all wrong! ...Sorry about that. When I get into my writing, sometimes I don't notice people. So, uh...

Yurie: I'm Yurie Hitotsubashi.

Ninomiya: What year?

Yurie: We're in the same class.

Matsuri: Hey, Kenji! Don't you have a club room?

Ninomiya: No one else does calligraphy, so they took the room back.

Matsuri: That doesn't mean you have to practice on the roof!

Ninomiya: I know, but it's nice.

Yurie: Um... did you... see what we were doing?

Ninomiya: Huh? No, why?

Yurie: Uh, no reason.

Mitsue: Ninomiya's kind of weird, huh?

Yurie: Hmph! I think he's a genius.

Matsuri: It's love.

Mitsue: Yeah, she's loved him all year.

Yurie: Mitsue!

Mitsue: Saegusa, are you friends with Ninomiya?

Matsuri: Well, I ask him to write for me sometimes. Kenji's weird, but his calligraphy's good.

Mitsue: Yeah, it is pretty good, isn't it?

Yurie: Kenji?

Matsuri: Yurie, you know the old saying, right?

Yurie: Hmm?

Matsuri: "Confess your love while a strong wind blows, and then the one that you love will return your feelings."

Yurie: Huh? Really?!

Matsuri: I wouldn't lie to a god. Now, feel like giving it one more try?

Yurie: Yeah!

Mitsue: You're so gullible.

Matsuri: Now Yurie, summon the wind!

Yurie: What do I do?

Matsuri: Focus your energy and say something.

Yurie: What do I say?

Matsuri: Hmm--well, since you're a god and you're in junior high, how about "Kamichu"?

Yurie: "Kamichu"?

Matsuri: Hey, it's a start. Now pour all your love into it and give it a shot.

Yurie: Kaaaamiiiichuuuu!

Matsuri: Nothing happened.

Yurie: I did the best I could.

Matsuri: Well, we can try again after school.

Yurie: Do we have to?

Matsuri: Let's go to my place. We can use the shrine.

Mitsue: C'mon, let's take that test.

Yurie: But I didn't study...

Matsuri: Sorry I dragged you into this.

Mitsue: Don't worry. But aren't you tired?

Yurie: A little. I'm okay. I took a nap during Classical Lit.

Mitsue: You really shouldn't sleep in class, you know.

Matsuri: Welcome to Raifuku Shrine. You two wait here while I go get things ready.

Yurie: There's nobody else here.

Mitsue: Nope, just us. I don't think people come to this shrine very often.

Yurie: I guess not. Huh?!
Uh, 85. Eighty-five... eighty-five...

Mitsue: Good luck, love is blossoming, go, go. "Go, go"?

Yurie: A little luck.

Mitsue: Even though you're a god?

Yurie: At least I didn't get unlucky. Your love life is looking stormy.

Matsuri: My little sister, Miko.

Miko: Pleased to meet you.

Matsuri: My new best friend, and her friend.

Yurie: I'm Yurie Hitotsubashi.

Mitsue: Mitsue Shijo.

Miko: Miko Saegusa. Thank you both for being my sister's friends.

Matsuri: Hey, can you tell what kind of god she is?

Mitsue: She can do that?

Matsuri: Yeah, Miko's gifted at that sort of thing.

Miko: I'm sorry. But I do feel a lot of power coming out of you.

Matsuri: Hmm... hey! Why don't you go ask Yashima?

Miko: Huh?

Matsuri: He's a god, too. So, I'm sure he would know.

Miko: I can't do it right now.

Matsuri: How about we try the ceremony then?

Yurie: Huh?

Matsuri: Is it working?

Yurie: Um... I'm not sure. Uh...

Matsuri: Of course it is! A little more!

Yurie: Achoo!

Miko: Huhh.

Mother: Oh, what's wrong?

Yurie: Nothing, Mom. Thanks for bringing me home, Mitsue.

Mitsue: No problem. Get some rest, okay?

Yurie: Yeah.

Mitsue: Well, see you tomorrow.

Mother: Leaving so soon? Wouldn't you like to stay for dinner?

Mitsue: Thank you, but my folks are waiting for me.

Tama: (Meows.)

Mother: Shoukichi, can you be a dear and go get Yurie's bicycle from school?

Yurie: I'm sorry, Tama. But I just wanna sleep now.

Shoukichi: Huh? Why do I have to this way?

Mother: Your sister had a really long day, okay?

Shoukichi: Whatever.

Yurie: Sorry, Shoukichi.

Shoukichi: Shut up.

Tama: Meow.

Yurie: Sorry.

Mother: Yurie, do you want some tea?

Yurie: No, I'll just sleep until dinner.

TV: It's the only cola that will do when your thirst is at its worst! ...Good evening. We'll be preempting our regular programming tonight to broadcast information on the approaching typhoon. The Meteorological Agency has announced the formation of Yurie, a small typhoon [?off the] coast of Tokunoshima.

Yurie: Ah, that's me!

Tama: Meow.

Yurie: Ah?

TV: According to meteorologists, the typhoon Yurie won't bring heavy rainfall. But its winds are very strong!

Yurie: Ah, hello?

Mitsue: The typhoon!

Yurie: Mitsue!

Mitsue: You really weren't kidding about all that god stuff.

Yurie: Didn't I tell you? What'll I do? I mean I'm the one who summoned the typhoon.

Mitsue: I bet it was that stuff we did on the roof during lunch.

Yurie: That's why I'm Kamichu. I never thought it would turn out like this.

Mitsue: Let's meet at school, okay?

Yurie: Uh? Mmm. Oh, Shoukichi! Good timing!

Shoukichi: Hey, Yurie.

Yurie: I'm sorry, thanks.

Shoukichi: Where're you going?

Yurie: Back to school!

TV: The typhoon is approaching. Keep your doors and windows shut. Do not go outside unless absolutely necessary.

???: Come back!

???: Aaaah, it's gonna crush me!

???: It's tearing me off!

Yurie: Ah!

???: We'll be blown away!

???: A typhoon is coming.

Yurie: I guess it's all happening because of what I said.

Yurie: If the storm reaches here...

Matsuri: Yurie! I knew that you'd show up.

Yurie: But how did you know?

Matsuri: We're best friends, remember? You came... to try and stop the typhoon.

Yurie: (Nods.)

Matsuri: Super! The Raifuku Shrine will help however possible. Look who's here!

Yurie: Mitsue!

Matsuri: You summoned the typhoon here. You're the only one who could stop it, Yurie!

Yurie: I'll try.

Mitsue: Try hard.

Yurie: Please Mr. Typhoon, disappear! Please, disappear! Disappear. Disappear! Aah! Aah!!

Mitsue: You okay?
I guess... you can't.

Yurie: Why am I a god... if I can't do anything? Huh? Ninomiya!

Mitsue: No way.

Yurie: He's still here?
Matsuri: Yurie!

Ninomiya: My club room!

Yurie: Ninomiya! Ah! Ah! Ninomiya! No... Ninomiya, I won't let you die! Kaa... mii... chuuuu! Ninomiya! Kenji!

Ninomiya: Are we... flying? This is awesome!

?: Confess your love, while a strong wind blows and the one you love...

Yurie: I love you.

Ninomiya: Huh?

Yurie: Ah!

Ninomiya: Ah!

Matsuri: Graceful!

Mitsue: Yurie! Yurie, are you all right? Are you hurt anywhere?

Matsuri: Hey, Kenji! You're not dead, right?

Yurie: Hi.

Ninomiya: I'm freezing...

Yurie: Um... I meant it.

Ninomiya: Uh, who are you again?

Yurie: Huh? Uhhh. I hate being a god. Ah, uhhh. What a weird dream. Hmm... huh?! It's noon?!

???: Oh God, this is exhausting! Almost there!
Yurie: It really happened. Good morning.

Woman: Why Yurie, I heard that you became a god.

Yurie: Um, yeah.

Mitsue: Sleeping in class, showing up late--you're the same old Yurie as before.

Matsuri: Don't worry about it. It's all about her image! Just think--the world's first junior high school god-girl. It's gonna be huge!

Mitsue: Huge?

Ninomiya: Hey! I'm taking trash to the incinerator. Uh... let's see, Ichihashi, right?

Yurie: It's Hitotsubashi.

Ninomiya: Oh. See ya.

Mitsue: So he still doesn't know?

Matsuri: She's shy and he's clueless--a perfect match.

Yurie: Hey, at least he remembered my name this afternoon.

Mitsue: Um, actually he didn't.

Yurie: We'll take it one day at a time. And see what happens.

Girls: Excuse me! God! Our net fell down just now! Can you fix it for us?

Yurie: Don't depend on me for little stuff! It's not easy being a god!

-- ED --

So, when a god has a problem, who should they talk to about it?

Their mom? Their dad? Their teacher?

Um, anyway, the next episode is "Please God". I'll Chu for you!