Ouran High School Host Club>04. Attack of the Lady Manager!
Miyabi:
I love you.
And you're all I can think about, my darling.
Let's spend the rest of our lives together, just the two of us.
Renge:
Yes, Miyabi.
I'm so happy.
Maid:
Excuse me, Miss?
The Master has returned home.
Miss?
Renge's father:
Renge?
You certainly love those video games, don't you?
Renge:
Is that so wrong?
Renge's father:
No, not at all.
I'm your father and I want you to feel free to live your life however you please.
You know that I let you do anything you like.
I've always promised you that freedom.
Renge:
Yeah.
Did your business trip in Japan go well?
Renge's father:
I think so.
I had a lovely dinner meeting at the home of one of my clients when I was there.
I made sure to get a photo.
Take a look.
They have a boy in high school who's about the same age as you.
Renge:
He is the one.
I'm going to marry the boy in this photo.
Don't forget.
You promised me that I could do whatever I want, Father.
Renge's father:
But Renge...
Renge:
I'm coming for you, my prince charming.
Renge's father:
Renge. Renge!
Haruhi:
"Attack of the Lady Manager!"
Girl:
Oh Tamaki.
My dearest Tamaki, why are you so beautiful?
Tamaki:
I'm hoping to catch your eye even if for just one second.
Girl:
Then why is your voice so very sweet and mellow?
Tamaki:
To set your nerves at ease, so that my true feelings might reach your heart.
Girl:
Why are your eyes filled with tears every time you look at me?
Tamaki:
Because the side of your beautiful smile causes the fountain inside of me to start overflowing.
Girls:
Oh, Tamaki.
Girl:
I think it's adorable that you're wearing matching kimonos.
Hikaru:
Our mother designed everything the hosts are wearing today.
If you see something you like, we can take an order for you.
Kaoru:
Our grandmother even helped us put them on.
Hikaru:
But you know the only one who will be undressing you is me, Kaoru.
Kaoru:
Hikaru, you're embarrassing me, in front of everybody.
Girl:
Oh! What a tender embrace!
Haruhi:
They're up to that nonsense again.
Girl:
Haruhi!
You look so cute in your kimono.
Girl:
Almost like a girl.
Haruhi:
Thanks.
Kyoya:
Haruhi, you've booked another appointment.
It seems you've had a pretty steady flow of new customers lately.
Keep up the good work.
I'm not going to charge you interest on your debt like I normally would.
So keep this up, and you should be able to pay it off, although the rental fee on that kimono you're wearing is nothing to sneeze at.
Haruhi:
He's like some kind of heartless tax collector...
Girl:
Hello Kyoya, I can't get over how great you look in that kimono.
Are you planning to release any more picture books of the host club?
Kyoya:
Unfortunately, we don't have anything planned at present, ladies.
Hikaru:
But doesn't the club make a lot of money?
Kaoru:
From the sale of promotional items?
Kyoya:
That's true.
But the items are poor quality.
Those picture books were full of nothing but amateur hidden camera shots.
However, if we want to create some higher-quality, money-making products, I'm afraid we'd have to draw money from the school's budget.
Haruhi:
If it wasn't for Kyoya, the host club would spiral into the depths of bankruptcy.
Honey:
Haru-chan, Haru-chan, I don't know how, but I lost one of my sandals.
Haruhi:
But you were just wearing them, weren't you?
Mori:
Mitsukuni.
Honey:
Takashi.
Mori:
I noticed that you dropped it.
Honey:
Takashi!
Girl:
How sweet.
Girl:
Isn't it, though.
Haruhi:
Looks like tears are popular with the ladies today.
But how are they all able to cry so easily?
Haruhi:
What's this?
Hikaru:
For your information, it's common for a host to use eye drops.
Kaoru:
No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears.
Haruhi:
That's cheating.
Hikaru:
Oh, don't be such a party-pooper.
Kaoru:
Here, Haruhi.
This is for you.
Haruhi:
It's for me?
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Aren't you the cutest?
Girl:
I didn't know you liked sweets, Haruhi.
Haruhi:
Well, to be honest with you, I don't really.
But, you know, I think it would be a nice memorial offering for my mother.
Tamaki:
How admirable of you!
Such devotion to your mother's memory.
Please, Haruhi, take as many of these as you like.
Haruhi:
Let me guess.
The tears are fake.
Tamaki:
How could you?
My tears are always genuine, Haruhi.
Being able to cry without the use of eye drops is the mark of a true host.
Tell me.
Do I impress you?
Have you fallen for me yet?
Haruhi.
You wish.
Tamaki:
My romantic overtures do not seem to be reaching you for some reason.
Perhaps I should add a little more panache to my character.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Looks like the host club has a brand-new guest.
Kaoru:
Come on in.
What are you waiting for?
Hikaru:
Watching from afar is no fun.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Please, Miss.
Tamaki:
Stop that.
How many times do I have to tell you boys to be more courteous to our first-time guests.
Please, you don't have to be afraid, my princess.
I welcome you to the Ouran host club.
Yes?
Renge:
No!
Don't touch me, you phony!
Tamaki:
What do you mean I'm phony?
Renge:
Just what I said.
You're phony.
I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the prince character of this host club!
You shouldn't go spreading your love around so easily like that, you stupid!
You must be a dim-witted narcissist!
You're incompetent!
You're a commoner.
You're disgusting.
Hikaru:
He's created a new technique.
Kaoru:
One-man slow-motion.
Kyoya:
I don't suppose you are...
Renge:
It's you, Kyoya.
Oh, how I longed to meet you.
My one and only prince charming.
Hikaru:
Your fiancee?
Kaoru:
Kyoya senpai?
Renge:
Of course.
My name is Renge Hoshakuji, and I'm transferring into Ouran academy's 1st-year class A tomorrow.
Hikaru:
Why is he sulking?
Kaoru:
Because mommy was keeping a secret from daddy.
Kyoya:
Whatever.
Why does everyone insist on referring to us like we're husband and wife?
Renge:
Oh this is a story of love at first sight.
I couldn't resist the way you were adoring those flowers in the backyard when you thought no one else was looking.
And how sweet it was when you reached out to that poor little injured kitten.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
She serious?
Haruhi:
Could you have the wrong person?
Renge:
No way!
I could recognize my love anywhere.
He's a gentleman who's kind to everyone and doesn't ask for anything in return.
He likes solitude, but in fact sometimes he gets lonely.
He looks like the star of the popular dating sim, Uki-doki Memorial.
You're my real-life Ichijo Miyabi.
Haruhi:
Uki-
Honey:
doki-
Tamaki:
Otaku!
Hikaru:
Otaku?
Kaoru:
I've never seen one!
Kyoya:
I get it now.
You're in love with that character.
You're projecting the love onto me, and you somehow deluded yourself into thinking that we're engaged.
I assume this Miyabi character probably wears glasses as well.
Tamaki:
So, she made it up.
You're not really her fiance, right?
Kyoya:
Well no, I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage.
Besides this is the first time I've ever met the woman.
Renge:
According to my research, I understand that you are in charge managing the club.
Is that true, Kyoya?
Honey:
That's right.
Kyo-chan is our director.
Renge:
You're the club's director?
That's perfect.
Oh wow, I've always wanted to wear a sandwich board to advertise a business.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
We don't advertise.
We're just a host club.
Renge:
I've made up my mind.
From now on, I'm gonna be the manager of this host club.
Tamaki:
Um, listen, Kyoya.
Kyoya:
Miss Hoshokuji is the only daughter of a very important Otori family client.
So, please be polite and try not to offend her, all right?
Renge:
Well, boys, I can't wait to work with you.
Tamaki:
I thought about it a lot last night, and maybe having a lady manager isn't such a bad idea.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Why do you say that?
Tamaki:
Well, it's fairly obvious, isn't it?
Renge just transferred into the same class as Haruhi.
So if Haruhi has a girlfriend around, it could bring out the female within her.
Renge's girlish air of tenderness might be able to stimulate haruhi's own sense of femininity.
Haruhi:
Good grief.
Tamaki:
Now is our change to help Haruhi get in touch with her feminine side.
This is an important project, men.
She doesn't have any friends in class right now except for these two shady twins.
That's not good for her.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Like you have room to talk.
Renge:
Hey, everyone.
You'd be happy to know that your new manager, Renge has baked all of you some cookies.
Tamaki:
Oh, isn't she lady-like?
I'm so moved by your generosity.
Renge:
I didn't bake these cookies for you, you phony prince.
I'm sorry, I burnt them a little bit.
I did the best I could.
And I already know what you're going to say.
Miyabi:
Anything that you make for me is going to taste delicious, my dear.
Renge:
Oh, you're always so sweet to me, Kyoya.
Honey:
She wasn't kidding, these cookies really are burnt.
Mori:
Don't eat that, Mitsukuni.
It's bad for you.
Honey:
Waah, she's scaring me!
Haruhi:
They're not that bad at all.
They've got a good flavor to them.
Hikaru:
May I try?
Kaoru:
Oh oh, Haruhi, you've got crumbs on your face.
Tamaki:
Did you see what they just did? He took a bite--
Kyoya:
And suddenly, the trio of classmates are closer than they've ever been before.
Haruhi:
You know, you could've just told me and I would've wiped it off.
And if you wanted to try one, they're plenty here.
Tamaki:
That's not the way you're supposed to react, Haruhi.
You have to stay strong and reject them, then casually brush them to the side.
Do you understand?
Haruhi:
This is sexual harassment, senpai.
Tamaki:
Sexual harassment?
If that counts as sexual harassment, then they're twice as guilty!
Someone, call the police.
Renge:
Every single one of you, except for Kyoya, all of your characters are lukewarm.
Each of you needs to have some sort of dark side.
You understand?
Girls are vulnerable to handsome young men who are troubled.
If you keep carrying on like this, it's only a matter of time before the girls get tired of you and stop coming all together.
Are you trying to ruin my precious Kyoya's business?
As your manager, it's my duty to change your character backgrounds.
Let's start with you!
If all you are is cute, inside and out, then you're no different to a baby.
Therefore, from now on, you are the baby-faced thug.
And Mori senpai, you're his childhood-friend, the flunky.
The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world.
Haruhi, you're an honor student who's constantly being bullied.
And as for you, Tamaki, you're the school idol who's admired for your good looks but you actually have an inferiority complex you're hiding from the world.
The lonely prince.
And Kyoya, you're perfect just the way you are now.
So I want you to stay as kind and affectionate as ever, 'kay?
Kyoya:
Thank you, I'm honored.
Tamaki:
The lonely prince.
It's true.
That title is perfect for me.
Haruhi:
Yeah, right.
She couldn't be farther from the truth.
Hikaru
Come on, Kyoya senpai.
Kaoru:
You've gotta do something.
Kyoya:
Why?
It seems like the boss is up for it.
Tamaki:
How does this look, Renge?
Do you think these poses work for a lonely prince?
Renge:
Oh wow, you're pretty good at that, Tamaki.
But you know it would be even more effective if you were standing in the rain.
Kyoya:
Let's just wait to see how things turn out.
I bet it will be interesting.
It always is.
Man:
Get a strecher!
Take him to the infirmary, immediately!
Hikaru:
Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru.
Man:
You've got to get back in the game, Hikaru.
We need you.
Hikaru:
Shut up!
Kaoru:
Hikaru, listen to me.
Please don't worry.
There's nothing you can do.
You can't share my pain.
You are not the one who got hurt.
Now, go on.
Hikaru:
I can't.
It hurts.
It hurts, Kaoru.
Renge:
Your pain is my pain.
It doesn't matter to me if no one else understands.
As long as we have each other, we can go on living.
Tamaki:
I'm sorry but I'm envious.
The way the two of you support each other like that.
Hikaru:
But Suou senpai.
Kaoru:
How can you be envious of us?
You're the school's idol.
Tamaki:
An idol, right.
I hate that people all worship me for something so superficial as my appearance.
I think it would be much better for me to be alone.
Renge:
One lonely heart meets another.
They pass each other, wounding one another.
What are the hearts of these young men made of?
Honey:
You can't run away forever.
I'm gonna show you what happens to anyone that crosses me.
Mori:
Don't do it, Mitsukuni.
You should have realized by now that whenever you hurt others, you're really just hurting yourself.
Honey:
I didn't ask you for any advice.
You want me to put you over my knee again?
Renge:
Will it be the light of salvation that ultimately awaits these boys?
Or will it be something else?
Honey:
You know, it really pisses me off when people don't know their place.
I'm so sorry, Haru-chan!
I can't do this any more!
Renge:
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
What's wrong with you?
You got to stick to the script.
Honey:
But I can't.
Renge:
Stop rolling, cameraman.
Cameraman:
Yes, boss.
Renge:
I want the rain to make things seem tragic.
Hikaru:
How'd we go from changing our characters to shooting a movie about them?
Haruhi:
And why is there an entire film crew here to shoot it?
Kyoya:
Apparently, she flew them in from Hollywood.
Don't you recognize the director?
He directed the vampire movie, Millennial Snow.
It was the No.1 grossing box-office hit in America last year.
Haruhi:
Damn these rich people.
Hikaru:
And another thing, how come this stupid script portrays Kaoru as the pitcher?
Kaoru:
Yeah.
Haruhi:
What does that mean?
Hikaru and Kaoru:
If you don't now, never mind.
Haruhi:
Pitcher?
Tamaki:
Haruhi!
So how was I?
Did you like my performance?
Haruhi:
It was pretty awesome.
I'm surprised you were able to get into your character like that.
You were really believable.
Tamaki:
I've discovered a new darker side of myself.
I'm stating thinking it might be a good idea to explore it.
Haruhi:
Are you sure about that?
Because I think you're fine just the way you are now, senpai.
Tamaki:
You do?
Well, if you say so, Haruhi.
Haruhi:
If he gets in touch with his darker side, he'll be that much more trouble.
Renge:
Hey, Haruhi!
You're on!
Haruhi:
Coming!
Renge:
Over here.
These two gentlemen have just agreed to make a special appearance in our film.
Man:
In your film?
Man:
What are you talking about?
Renge:
After all, we're gonna need some tough guys for the big climax.
That's when all of the club members come together to fight against the real villains at their school.
According to this script, these two are from a wealthy family that got their wealth by being a part of the Japanese Mafia.
Don't you think it's a brilliant casting choice?
Man:
What's with this girl?
Man:
Whatever my dad does has nothing to do with me!
Haruhi:
Wait a minute, Renge.
Renge:
Just come over here and wait for your cue.
Man:
Hey, you think you can push me around?
You don't even know me.
Haruhi:
Watch out!
Renge:
Are you okay, Haruhi?
Haruhi:
That guy was right, Renge.
You can't do that.
If you judge people by their appearance you're stereotyping them, and you'll never see the person inside.
Renge:
Um... I don't understand what you're trying to say.
Tamaki:
What happened, Haruhi?
So, which one of you jerks started this?
Man:
Wait, Suou!
It's not what you think.
That girl started it.
She was giving us a hard time.
Haruhi:
He's telling the truth, senpai.
It wasn't their fault.
They were provoked.
Men:
Let's get out of here.
Tamaki:
Haruhi, are you in any pain?
Haruhi:
Yeah, it's my contact.
Tamaki:
Your contact?
Haruhi:
Yeah, I guess it must've slipped out.
Tamaki:
I see how it is.
You're able to cry without using eye drops.
So, you're a full-fledged host now.
Renge:
You, you, please tell me you got that, Cameraman.
Cameraman:
Yes, boss.
Renge:
Other than Haruhi's contact falling out, that was an ideal final scene!
All it needs now is a moving narration by my sweet Kyoya.
Cameraman:
What'd you do to my camera?
Renge:
Why?
Is something wrong?
Kyoya:
I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence.
I think it caused enough trouble around here, Renge.
Please stop being such a pest.
Renge:
A pest?
But you're supposed to pat me on the head and told me not to worry.
You're supposed to be kind and affectionate, Kyoya.
Why are you acting so differently now?
Tell me why.
Tamaki:
Because that's not the real Kyoya.
Haruhi:
Does it really matter?
Who cares if Kyoya is a little different than you expected him to be.
Take a good look at the person inside and get to know him little by little.
It's a lot more fun that way.
Miyabi:
Long time no see, Renge.
Why are you so down?
Come on, please smile for me.
Today is going to be a beautiful day.
After all, today you've learned a very important lesson that will help you live happily ever after.
And I'm so glad that you finally understand.
I think you're ready to move on to the next level, Renge.
Tamaki:
Hello ladies, come on in.
Girl:
I bought the video of that film you made.
Girl:
I bought it too.
Girl:
And so did I.
Tamaki:
You did?
Girl:
That scene in the rain was just phenomenal.
Girl:
I love the lonely prince.
Girl:
And the loving relationship between Hikaru and Kaoru was so sweet.
Girl:
I want to see Honey acting like a thug again. He was so cute.
Girl:
I couldn't get enough of Haruhi's poignant expressions.
Tamaki:
Kyoya?
Kyoya:
I may have broken the camera's lens, but the footage that we had already shot wasn't damaged.
Naturally, I did cut out that one violent scene.
Sales have been pretty good so far.
That Hollywood film crew did a fantastic job.
But then I guess that's to be expected.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
So, is this what you meant by interesting?
Kyoya:
It's best to have as much money as we can in the club's budget.
Haruhi:
And just when did he start calculating all of this?
Renge:
Good day, everyone.
Tamaki:
Renge?
But I thought you had gone back to France already.
Renge:
I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner.
It was so chivalrous of you to risk your life to protect me.
I could feel the love when you lectured me about judging people.
When you said it was fun to get to know people little by little, you were talking about me.
Haruhi:
Yeah...
Renge:
Come on, Haruhi.
Let's go to my house and play some games together.
I think it's time you got to know me better.
Haruhi:
What?
Hikaru:
Hey, Kyoya senpai.
Kaoru:
You okay with that?
Kyoya:
Why wouldn't I be?
Everything Renge said is true.
Tamaki:
No, it isn't.
Kyoya:
But I thought you were the one who wanted her to have a female friend in the first place.
Tamaki:
Well, yeah, a female companion.
Not a girlfriend.
Renge:
Come on, Haruhi.
Let's go play it again.
Tamaki:
No, wait.
Don't take Haruhi from me.
Hikaru:
I'm so sick of your face!
Kaoru:
Your haircut is stupid!
Hikaru:
Sex pixie!
Hikaru:
Sicko!
Tamaki:
What's going on?
What's up with Hikaru and Kaoru?
Haruhi:
Next time, "The Twins Fight!".
Tamaki:
The Ouran host club will be waiting for you.
I love you.
And you're all I can think about, my darling.
Let's spend the rest of our lives together, just the two of us.
Renge:
Yes, Miyabi.
I'm so happy.
Maid:
Excuse me, Miss?
The Master has returned home.
Miss?
Renge's father:
Renge?
You certainly love those video games, don't you?
Renge:
Is that so wrong?
Renge's father:
No, not at all.
I'm your father and I want you to feel free to live your life however you please.
You know that I let you do anything you like.
I've always promised you that freedom.
Renge:
Yeah.
Did your business trip in Japan go well?
Renge's father:
I think so.
I had a lovely dinner meeting at the home of one of my clients when I was there.
I made sure to get a photo.
Take a look.
They have a boy in high school who's about the same age as you.
Renge:
He is the one.
I'm going to marry the boy in this photo.
Don't forget.
You promised me that I could do whatever I want, Father.
Renge's father:
But Renge...
Renge:
I'm coming for you, my prince charming.
Renge's father:
Renge. Renge!
Haruhi:
"Attack of the Lady Manager!"
Girl:
Oh Tamaki.
My dearest Tamaki, why are you so beautiful?
Tamaki:
I'm hoping to catch your eye even if for just one second.
Girl:
Then why is your voice so very sweet and mellow?
Tamaki:
To set your nerves at ease, so that my true feelings might reach your heart.
Girl:
Why are your eyes filled with tears every time you look at me?
Tamaki:
Because the side of your beautiful smile causes the fountain inside of me to start overflowing.
Girls:
Oh, Tamaki.
Girl:
I think it's adorable that you're wearing matching kimonos.
Hikaru:
Our mother designed everything the hosts are wearing today.
If you see something you like, we can take an order for you.
Kaoru:
Our grandmother even helped us put them on.
Hikaru:
But you know the only one who will be undressing you is me, Kaoru.
Kaoru:
Hikaru, you're embarrassing me, in front of everybody.
Girl:
Oh! What a tender embrace!
Haruhi:
They're up to that nonsense again.
Girl:
Haruhi!
You look so cute in your kimono.
Girl:
Almost like a girl.
Haruhi:
Thanks.
Kyoya:
Haruhi, you've booked another appointment.
It seems you've had a pretty steady flow of new customers lately.
Keep up the good work.
I'm not going to charge you interest on your debt like I normally would.
So keep this up, and you should be able to pay it off, although the rental fee on that kimono you're wearing is nothing to sneeze at.
Haruhi:
He's like some kind of heartless tax collector...
Girl:
Hello Kyoya, I can't get over how great you look in that kimono.
Are you planning to release any more picture books of the host club?
Kyoya:
Unfortunately, we don't have anything planned at present, ladies.
Hikaru:
But doesn't the club make a lot of money?
Kaoru:
From the sale of promotional items?
Kyoya:
That's true.
But the items are poor quality.
Those picture books were full of nothing but amateur hidden camera shots.
However, if we want to create some higher-quality, money-making products, I'm afraid we'd have to draw money from the school's budget.
Haruhi:
If it wasn't for Kyoya, the host club would spiral into the depths of bankruptcy.
Honey:
Haru-chan, Haru-chan, I don't know how, but I lost one of my sandals.
Haruhi:
But you were just wearing them, weren't you?
Mori:
Mitsukuni.
Honey:
Takashi.
Mori:
I noticed that you dropped it.
Honey:
Takashi!
Girl:
How sweet.
Girl:
Isn't it, though.
Haruhi:
Looks like tears are popular with the ladies today.
But how are they all able to cry so easily?
Haruhi:
What's this?
Hikaru:
For your information, it's common for a host to use eye drops.
Kaoru:
No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears.
Haruhi:
That's cheating.
Hikaru:
Oh, don't be such a party-pooper.
Kaoru:
Here, Haruhi.
This is for you.
Haruhi:
It's for me?
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Aren't you the cutest?
Girl:
I didn't know you liked sweets, Haruhi.
Haruhi:
Well, to be honest with you, I don't really.
But, you know, I think it would be a nice memorial offering for my mother.
Tamaki:
How admirable of you!
Such devotion to your mother's memory.
Please, Haruhi, take as many of these as you like.
Haruhi:
Let me guess.
The tears are fake.
Tamaki:
How could you?
My tears are always genuine, Haruhi.
Being able to cry without the use of eye drops is the mark of a true host.
Tell me.
Do I impress you?
Have you fallen for me yet?
Haruhi.
You wish.
Tamaki:
My romantic overtures do not seem to be reaching you for some reason.
Perhaps I should add a little more panache to my character.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Looks like the host club has a brand-new guest.
Kaoru:
Come on in.
What are you waiting for?
Hikaru:
Watching from afar is no fun.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Please, Miss.
Tamaki:
Stop that.
How many times do I have to tell you boys to be more courteous to our first-time guests.
Please, you don't have to be afraid, my princess.
I welcome you to the Ouran host club.
Yes?
Renge:
No!
Don't touch me, you phony!
Tamaki:
What do you mean I'm phony?
Renge:
Just what I said.
You're phony.
I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the prince character of this host club!
You shouldn't go spreading your love around so easily like that, you stupid!
You must be a dim-witted narcissist!
You're incompetent!
You're a commoner.
You're disgusting.
Hikaru:
He's created a new technique.
Kaoru:
One-man slow-motion.
Kyoya:
I don't suppose you are...
Renge:
It's you, Kyoya.
Oh, how I longed to meet you.
My one and only prince charming.
Hikaru:
Your fiancee?
Kaoru:
Kyoya senpai?
Renge:
Of course.
My name is Renge Hoshakuji, and I'm transferring into Ouran academy's 1st-year class A tomorrow.
Hikaru:
Why is he sulking?
Kaoru:
Because mommy was keeping a secret from daddy.
Kyoya:
Whatever.
Why does everyone insist on referring to us like we're husband and wife?
Renge:
Oh this is a story of love at first sight.
I couldn't resist the way you were adoring those flowers in the backyard when you thought no one else was looking.
And how sweet it was when you reached out to that poor little injured kitten.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
She serious?
Haruhi:
Could you have the wrong person?
Renge:
No way!
I could recognize my love anywhere.
He's a gentleman who's kind to everyone and doesn't ask for anything in return.
He likes solitude, but in fact sometimes he gets lonely.
He looks like the star of the popular dating sim, Uki-doki Memorial.
You're my real-life Ichijo Miyabi.
Haruhi:
Uki-
Honey:
doki-
Tamaki:
Otaku!
Hikaru:
Otaku?
Kaoru:
I've never seen one!
Kyoya:
I get it now.
You're in love with that character.
You're projecting the love onto me, and you somehow deluded yourself into thinking that we're engaged.
I assume this Miyabi character probably wears glasses as well.
Tamaki:
So, she made it up.
You're not really her fiance, right?
Kyoya:
Well no, I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage.
Besides this is the first time I've ever met the woman.
Renge:
According to my research, I understand that you are in charge managing the club.
Is that true, Kyoya?
Honey:
That's right.
Kyo-chan is our director.
Renge:
You're the club's director?
That's perfect.
Oh wow, I've always wanted to wear a sandwich board to advertise a business.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
We don't advertise.
We're just a host club.
Renge:
I've made up my mind.
From now on, I'm gonna be the manager of this host club.
Tamaki:
Um, listen, Kyoya.
Kyoya:
Miss Hoshokuji is the only daughter of a very important Otori family client.
So, please be polite and try not to offend her, all right?
Renge:
Well, boys, I can't wait to work with you.
Tamaki:
I thought about it a lot last night, and maybe having a lady manager isn't such a bad idea.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Why do you say that?
Tamaki:
Well, it's fairly obvious, isn't it?
Renge just transferred into the same class as Haruhi.
So if Haruhi has a girlfriend around, it could bring out the female within her.
Renge's girlish air of tenderness might be able to stimulate haruhi's own sense of femininity.
Haruhi:
Good grief.
Tamaki:
Now is our change to help Haruhi get in touch with her feminine side.
This is an important project, men.
She doesn't have any friends in class right now except for these two shady twins.
That's not good for her.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Like you have room to talk.
Renge:
Hey, everyone.
You'd be happy to know that your new manager, Renge has baked all of you some cookies.
Tamaki:
Oh, isn't she lady-like?
I'm so moved by your generosity.
Renge:
I didn't bake these cookies for you, you phony prince.
I'm sorry, I burnt them a little bit.
I did the best I could.
And I already know what you're going to say.
Miyabi:
Anything that you make for me is going to taste delicious, my dear.
Renge:
Oh, you're always so sweet to me, Kyoya.
Honey:
She wasn't kidding, these cookies really are burnt.
Mori:
Don't eat that, Mitsukuni.
It's bad for you.
Honey:
Waah, she's scaring me!
Haruhi:
They're not that bad at all.
They've got a good flavor to them.
Hikaru:
May I try?
Kaoru:
Oh oh, Haruhi, you've got crumbs on your face.
Tamaki:
Did you see what they just did? He took a bite--
Kyoya:
And suddenly, the trio of classmates are closer than they've ever been before.
Haruhi:
You know, you could've just told me and I would've wiped it off.
And if you wanted to try one, they're plenty here.
Tamaki:
That's not the way you're supposed to react, Haruhi.
You have to stay strong and reject them, then casually brush them to the side.
Do you understand?
Haruhi:
This is sexual harassment, senpai.
Tamaki:
Sexual harassment?
If that counts as sexual harassment, then they're twice as guilty!
Someone, call the police.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
Cut it out, boss.
We're sorry.
Honey:
Renge-chan, Renge-chan, want some?
It's milk.
Renge:
Lukewarm.
Honey:
Huh?
Renge:
Every single one of you, except for Kyoya, all of your characters are lukewarm.
Each of you needs to have some sort of dark side.
You understand?
Girls are vulnerable to handsome young men who are troubled.
If you keep carrying on like this, it's only a matter of time before the girls get tired of you and stop coming all together.
Are you trying to ruin my precious Kyoya's business?
As your manager, it's my duty to change your character backgrounds.
Let's start with you!
If all you are is cute, inside and out, then you're no different to a baby.
Therefore, from now on, you are the baby-faced thug.
And Mori senpai, you're his childhood-friend, the flunky.
The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world.
Haruhi, you're an honor student who's constantly being bullied.
And as for you, Tamaki, you're the school idol who's admired for your good looks but you actually have an inferiority complex you're hiding from the world.
The lonely prince.
And Kyoya, you're perfect just the way you are now.
So I want you to stay as kind and affectionate as ever, 'kay?
Kyoya:
Thank you, I'm honored.
Tamaki:
The lonely prince.
It's true.
That title is perfect for me.
Haruhi:
Yeah, right.
She couldn't be farther from the truth.
Hikaru
Come on, Kyoya senpai.
Kaoru:
You've gotta do something.
Kyoya:
Why?
It seems like the boss is up for it.
Tamaki:
How does this look, Renge?
Do you think these poses work for a lonely prince?
Renge:
Oh wow, you're pretty good at that, Tamaki.
But you know it would be even more effective if you were standing in the rain.
Kyoya:
Let's just wait to see how things turn out.
I bet it will be interesting.
It always is.
Man:
Get a strecher!
Take him to the infirmary, immediately!
Hikaru:
Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru.
Man:
You've got to get back in the game, Hikaru.
We need you.
Hikaru:
Shut up!
Kaoru:
Hikaru, listen to me.
Please don't worry.
There's nothing you can do.
You can't share my pain.
You are not the one who got hurt.
Now, go on.
Hikaru:
I can't.
It hurts.
It hurts, Kaoru.
Renge:
Your pain is my pain.
It doesn't matter to me if no one else understands.
As long as we have each other, we can go on living.
Tamaki:
I'm sorry but I'm envious.
The way the two of you support each other like that.
Hikaru:
But Suou senpai.
Kaoru:
How can you be envious of us?
You're the school's idol.
Tamaki:
An idol, right.
I hate that people all worship me for something so superficial as my appearance.
I think it would be much better for me to be alone.
Renge:
One lonely heart meets another.
They pass each other, wounding one another.
What are the hearts of these young men made of?
Honey:
You can't run away forever.
I'm gonna show you what happens to anyone that crosses me.
Mori:
Don't do it, Mitsukuni.
You should have realized by now that whenever you hurt others, you're really just hurting yourself.
Honey:
I didn't ask you for any advice.
You want me to put you over my knee again?
Renge:
Will it be the light of salvation that ultimately awaits these boys?
Or will it be something else?
Honey:
You know, it really pisses me off when people don't know their place.
I'm so sorry, Haru-chan!
I can't do this any more!
Renge:
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
What's wrong with you?
You got to stick to the script.
Honey:
But I can't.
Renge:
Stop rolling, cameraman.
Cameraman:
Yes, boss.
Renge:
I want the rain to make things seem tragic.
Hikaru:
How'd we go from changing our characters to shooting a movie about them?
Haruhi:
And why is there an entire film crew here to shoot it?
Kyoya:
Apparently, she flew them in from Hollywood.
Don't you recognize the director?
He directed the vampire movie, Millennial Snow.
It was the No.1 grossing box-office hit in America last year.
Haruhi:
Damn these rich people.
Hikaru:
And another thing, how come this stupid script portrays Kaoru as the pitcher?
Kaoru:
Yeah.
Haruhi:
What does that mean?
Hikaru and Kaoru:
If you don't now, never mind.
Haruhi:
Pitcher?
Tamaki:
Haruhi!
So how was I?
Did you like my performance?
Haruhi:
It was pretty awesome.
I'm surprised you were able to get into your character like that.
You were really believable.
Tamaki:
I've discovered a new darker side of myself.
I'm stating thinking it might be a good idea to explore it.
Haruhi:
Are you sure about that?
Because I think you're fine just the way you are now, senpai.
Tamaki:
You do?
Well, if you say so, Haruhi.
Haruhi:
If he gets in touch with his darker side, he'll be that much more trouble.
Renge:
Hey, Haruhi!
You're on!
Haruhi:
Coming!
Renge:
Over here.
These two gentlemen have just agreed to make a special appearance in our film.
Man:
In your film?
Man:
What are you talking about?
Renge:
After all, we're gonna need some tough guys for the big climax.
That's when all of the club members come together to fight against the real villains at their school.
According to this script, these two are from a wealthy family that got their wealth by being a part of the Japanese Mafia.
Don't you think it's a brilliant casting choice?
Man:
What's with this girl?
Man:
Whatever my dad does has nothing to do with me!
Haruhi:
Wait a minute, Renge.
Renge:
Just come over here and wait for your cue.
Man:
Hey, you think you can push me around?
You don't even know me.
Haruhi:
Watch out!
Renge:
Are you okay, Haruhi?
Haruhi:
That guy was right, Renge.
You can't do that.
If you judge people by their appearance you're stereotyping them, and you'll never see the person inside.
Renge:
Um... I don't understand what you're trying to say.
Tamaki:
What happened, Haruhi?
So, which one of you jerks started this?
Man:
Wait, Suou!
It's not what you think.
That girl started it.
She was giving us a hard time.
Haruhi:
He's telling the truth, senpai.
It wasn't their fault.
They were provoked.
Men:
Let's get out of here.
Tamaki:
Haruhi, are you in any pain?
Haruhi:
Yeah, it's my contact.
Tamaki:
Your contact?
Haruhi:
Yeah, I guess it must've slipped out.
Tamaki:
I see how it is.
You're able to cry without using eye drops.
So, you're a full-fledged host now.
Renge:
You, you, please tell me you got that, Cameraman.
Cameraman:
Yes, boss.
Renge:
Other than Haruhi's contact falling out, that was an ideal final scene!
All it needs now is a moving narration by my sweet Kyoya.
Cameraman:
What'd you do to my camera?
Renge:
Why?
Is something wrong?
Kyoya:
I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence.
I think it caused enough trouble around here, Renge.
Please stop being such a pest.
Renge:
A pest?
But you're supposed to pat me on the head and told me not to worry.
You're supposed to be kind and affectionate, Kyoya.
Why are you acting so differently now?
Tell me why.
Tamaki:
Because that's not the real Kyoya.
Haruhi:
Does it really matter?
Who cares if Kyoya is a little different than you expected him to be.
Take a good look at the person inside and get to know him little by little.
It's a lot more fun that way.
Miyabi:
Long time no see, Renge.
Why are you so down?
Come on, please smile for me.
Today is going to be a beautiful day.
After all, today you've learned a very important lesson that will help you live happily ever after.
And I'm so glad that you finally understand.
I think you're ready to move on to the next level, Renge.
Tamaki:
Hello ladies, come on in.
Girl:
I bought the video of that film you made.
Girl:
I bought it too.
Girl:
And so did I.
Tamaki:
You did?
Girl:
That scene in the rain was just phenomenal.
Girl:
I love the lonely prince.
Girl:
And the loving relationship between Hikaru and Kaoru was so sweet.
Girl:
I want to see Honey acting like a thug again. He was so cute.
Girl:
I couldn't get enough of Haruhi's poignant expressions.
Tamaki:
Kyoya?
Kyoya:
I may have broken the camera's lens, but the footage that we had already shot wasn't damaged.
Naturally, I did cut out that one violent scene.
Sales have been pretty good so far.
That Hollywood film crew did a fantastic job.
But then I guess that's to be expected.
Hikaru and Kaoru:
So, is this what you meant by interesting?
Kyoya:
It's best to have as much money as we can in the club's budget.
Haruhi:
And just when did he start calculating all of this?
Renge:
Good day, everyone.
Tamaki:
Renge?
But I thought you had gone back to France already.
Renge:
I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner.
It was so chivalrous of you to risk your life to protect me.
I could feel the love when you lectured me about judging people.
When you said it was fun to get to know people little by little, you were talking about me.
Haruhi:
Yeah...
Renge:
Come on, Haruhi.
Let's go to my house and play some games together.
I think it's time you got to know me better.
Haruhi:
What?
Hikaru:
Hey, Kyoya senpai.
Kaoru:
You okay with that?
Kyoya:
Why wouldn't I be?
Everything Renge said is true.
Tamaki:
No, it isn't.
Kyoya:
But I thought you were the one who wanted her to have a female friend in the first place.
Tamaki:
Well, yeah, a female companion.
Not a girlfriend.
Renge:
Come on, Haruhi.
Let's go play it again.
Tamaki:
No, wait.
Don't take Haruhi from me.
Hikaru:
I'm so sick of your face!
Kaoru:
Your haircut is stupid!
Hikaru:
Sex pixie!
Hikaru:
Sicko!
Tamaki:
What's going on?
What's up with Hikaru and Kaoru?
Haruhi:
Next time, "The Twins Fight!".
Tamaki:
The Ouran host club will be waiting for you.
Host club members:
We'll see you then.