Haruhi:
This place has four library rooms.
You'd think one of them would be quiet.
How are things in heaven, mom?
I can't believe it's been ten years already.
I'm beginning to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time.
An abandoned music room.
I guess this is the only place I'll be able to study in peace and quiet.

Host Club Members:
Welcome!

Haruhi:
When I opened the door, I found the host club.


"Starting Today, You Are a Host!"


Tamaki:
Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy.
The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands.
Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.

Haruhi:
This is a host club?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Oh wow, it's a boy.

Kyoya:
Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Yeah, but he's shy.
He doesn't act very sociably so we don't know much about him.

Kyoya:
Oh, that wasn't very polite.
Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr. Honor Student.

Tamaki:
What?
You must be Haruhi Fujioka.
You're the exceptional honor student we've heard about.

Haruhi:
How did you know my name?

Kyoya:
Why, you're infamous.
It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy.
You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Fujioka.

Haruhi:
Well ah-thank you. I guess.

Tamaki:
You're welcome.
You are a hero to other poor people, Fujioka.
You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy.
It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others.

Haruhi:
I think you're taking this poor thing too far.

Tamaki:
Spurned, neglected.
But that doesn't matter now.
Long live the poor!
We welcome you, poor man, to our world of beauty!

Haruhi:
I'm outta here.

Honey:
Hey!
Come back here, Haru-chan!
You must be like a super hero or something.
That's so cool!

Haruhi:
I'm not a hero, I'm an honor student.
And who are you calling Haru-chan?!

Tamaki:
I never would have imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay.

Haruhi:
Openly what?

Tamaki:
So tell me what kind of guys you're into.
Do you like the strong silent type?
The boy lolita?
How about the mischievous type?
Or the cool type?

Haruhi:
I uh... I-It's not like that.
I was just looking for a quiet place to study.

Tamaki:
Or maybe you're into a guy like me.
What do you say?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Awww.

Hikaru:
We were going to feature that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction.

Kaoru:
Oh, now you've done it, commoner.
The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at eight million yen.

Haruhi
What, eight million yen?
How many thousand yen is that?
How many thousands are in eight million?
I'm gonna have to pay you back.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
With what money?
You can't even afford a school uniform.

Kaoru:
What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway?

Kyoya:
Well, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?

Tamaki:
There's a famous saying you may have heard, Fujioka.
When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do.
Since you have no money, you can pay with your body.
That means, starting today, you're the host club's dog.

Haruhi:
I don't know if I can handle this, mom.
I've been captured by a bunch of boys that are calling themselves a host club.

Honey:
Poke, poke?

Girl:
Tamaki, what's your favorite song?

Tamaki:
What song?
The one that reminds me of you, of course.

Girl:
I baked you a cake today.
Would you like to taste it?

Tamaki:
Only if you'll feed it to me, darling.

Girl:
Oh, how you're so dreamy.

Ayanokoji:
May I have a word with you, Tamaki?
I've recently heard the host club's keeping a little kitten without a pedigree.

Tamaki:
I don't know if I'd call him that.
Speak of the devil.
Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet.
Did you get everything on our list?

Haruhi:
What? Piglet?

Tamaki:
Hey, wait a minute. What is this?

Haruhi:
Just what it looks like.
It's coffee.

Tamaki:
I've never seen this brand before.
Is this the kind that's already ground?

Haruhi:
What do you mean?
It's instant coffee.

Girls:
It's instant?

Tamaki
Wow, I've heard of this before.
It's commoners' coffee.
You just add hot water.

Girl:
I didn't know there was such a thing.

Girl:
So, it's true then, poor people don't even have enough free time to grind their own coffee beans.

Kyoya:
Commoners are pretty smart.

Hikaru:
One hundred grams for three hundred yen?

Kaoru:
That's a lot less than we normally pay.

Haruhi:
I'll go back and get something else.
Excuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee.

Tamaki:
No, I'll keep it.
I'm going to give it a try.
I will drink this coffee!
All right, Haruhi, get over here and make some of this commoners' coffee.

Haruhi:
I hate all these damn rich people.

Ayanokoji:
Oh, Tamaki, now you're taking the joke too far.
Your palate won't be able to stomach that crap.
You don't have to drink it just because he bought it.
I'm sorry.
I was talking to myself.

Tamaki:
Haruhi!

Haruhi:
I'm coming.
Here.

Tamaki:
Let the tasting begin.

Girl:
I'm a little scared to drink this stuff.

Girl:
I'm afraid if I drink this, my father will yell at me.

Tamaki
What if I let you drink it from my mouth?

Girl:
Oh, well then, I would drink it.

Haruhi:
This is ridiculous.


Hikaru:
So he had this nightmare that made him bolt up right out of bed.

Kaoru:
Hikaru, don't tell them that story.
I asked you not to tell anyone that.
Why are you so mean to me?

Hikaru:
I'm sorry, Kaoru.
I didn't mean to upset you.
But you were so adorable when it happened I had to tell them.
I'm sorry.

Kaoru:
I forgive you.

Girls:
I've never seen brotherly love quite like that.

Haruhi:
What are they so excited about?
I just don't get it.

Honey:
Sorry, we're running late.

Girl:
Hello, Honey! Hey, Mori!

Girl:
We've been waiting here for you guys, hi!

Honey:
I'm sorry.
I was waiting for Takashi to finish his Kendo meeting and I fell asleep.
And I'm still not completely awake.

Girls:
So cute!

Haruhi:
Is that boy really a third year student?

Kyoya:
Honey-senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy.
And then Mori-senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition.

Honey:
Haru-chan!
Hey, Haru-chan, do you wanna go have some cake with me?

Haruhi:
Thanks, but I don't really like cake.

Honey:
Then how would you like to hold my bunny, Usa-chan?

Haruhi:
I'm not into bunnies.

Honey:
Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?

Haruhi:
I guess he is kinda cute, huh?

Honey:
Take good care of him, okay?

Kyoya:
You'll notice that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests.
Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here.
He is the king.
His request rate is seventy percent.

Haruhi:
What's this world coming to?

Kyoya:
And in order for you to pay off your eight million yen debt with us, you will act as the Ouran Host Club's dog until you graduate.
I'm sorry, I meant our errand boy.
You can try to run away if you want to, Haruhi, but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of one hundred officers.
By the way, do you have a passport?

Tamaki:
You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd.

Haruhi:
Please don't do that again.

Tamaki:
You need a makeover, or no girl's going to look twice at you.

Haruhi:
Yeah, well, I'm not trying to get girls to look at me.

Tamaki:
Are you kidding me?
That's the most important thing.
You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies like me.

Haruhi:
I just don't think it's all that important.
Why should I care about appearances and labels anyway?
I mean, all that really matters is what's on the inside, right?
I don't understand why you even have a host club like this.

Tamaki:
It's a cruel reality, isn't it?
It's not often that god creates a perfect person like moi!
Beautiful both inside and out.

Haruhi:
Say what?

Tamaki:
I understand how you feel since not everyone is as blessed as I am, but you must console yourself, otherwise how would you go on living?
And think about this, Haruhi.
Why do you think they put works of art in museums?
Because beauty should be shared with the world.
And those born beautiful should promote other beautiful things.

Haruhi:
There's a word to describe people like him.

Tamaki:
That's why I started this club in the first place.
I did it for those who are starved for beauty.

Haruhi:
What is it?

Tamaki:
For those working day and night, pursing beauty. And...

Haruhi:
Oh man, I wish I could remember that word.

Tamaki:
I've chosen to share my expertise with you.
Here's a tip.
When setting down your glass, extend your pinky finger as a cushion.
And that way, when you set it down, you won't be making a lot of noise.
Gentlemen do not make uncouth sounds.
Besides...

Haruhi:
Maybe, a pain in the neck?
No.
There's something that fits him perfectly.

Tamaki:
...But above all else, Haruhi, you must remember...
...how effective a glance to this side can be.

Haruhi:
Huh, I got it.

Tamaki:
Oh, did I strike a chord?

Haruhi:
Obnoxious.
I'm sorry, Tamaki-senpai.

Hikaru:
You're a hero, all right.

Haruhi:
But he is a pain in the neck.
I'm sorry, senpai.
But your lesson did strike a small chord with me.

Tamaki:
Really?
It did?
Let me teach you more, my friend.

Haruhi:
Well, he got over that quick.

Kaoru:
Boss.

Tamaki:
Call me king.

Kaoru:
You can teach him all the basics of hosting...

Hikaru:
...but he's not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part, you know.
He's not exactly host club material, but maybe if we took off his glasses, it'll help.

Haruhi:
Hey, I need those!
I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school.

Tamaki:
Hikaru, Kaoru.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Got it.

Tamaki:
Kyoya, my hair stylist.
Mori-senpai, go to the eye doctor and get him some contact lenses.

Honey:
What about me, Tama-chan?

Tamaki:
Honey-senpai.

Honey:
Yes, sir.

Tamaki:
You...go have some cake.

Honey:
It's just us, Usa-chan.
Everyone else said they were too busy.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Here.
Change into this uniform.

Haruhi:
What?
But why?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Don't ask questions!

Haruhi:
No way!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Change! Change! Change!

Haruhi:
Fine I'll change, but you two have to get out!

HIkaru and Kaoru:
Huh?

Haruhi:
Um, senpai?

Tamaki:
Aren't you done changing yet?

Haruhi:
You sure it's really okay for me to keep this uniform?

Tamaki:
Cute!
You're as pretty as a girl!
Adorable!

Honey:
Haru-chan, you look so cute!

Hikaru:
If we had known that's how you really look...

Kaoru:
...we would have helped you out sooner.

Kyoya:
Who knows, maybe he'll draw in some customers.

Tamaki
You know, that's just what I was thinking.
Our errand boy is moving up the ranks.
Starting today, you are an official member of the host club.
I will personally train you to be a first-rate host.
If you can get one hundred customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your eight million yen debt.

Haruhi:
A host?

Girl:
So, tell me, Haruhi.
Do you have any hobbies?
What do you like to do?

Girl:
I'm curious.
What kind of products do you use on your skin?

Girl:
Yeah, it's so pretty.

Haruhi:
I can't do this any more.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

Girls:
So why did you join the host club, Haruhi?

Haruhi:
All I have to do is get one hundred customers to request me and they'll forget about my eight million yen debt.
I know just the story.

Girl:
I see.
Your mother was sick and passed away ten years ago.
Who does the chores around the house?

Haruhi:
Oh, I do them myself.
My mother taught me.
She was an amazing cook.
And when she went to the hospital, she left me all kinds of great recipes.
It was fun to create each dish, especially when they turned out well.
And it made me happy to see my dad enjoy it.
I've had a hard childhood, but dad and I have managed to make it through okay.

Girl:
So...uh...

Girl:
is it okay if tomorrow...

Girl:
...we request to sit with you again?

Haruhi:
Yeah, I really appreciate that, ladies.

Tamaki:
Why is he so popular?

Kyoya:
He's a natural.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
No training needed.

Ayanokoji:
Have you forgotten about me?

Tamaki:
Oh, no, sorry princess.
I'm just a little bit concerned about our newest host.

Ayanokoji:
Well, that's obvious, Tamaki.
You sure have been keeping an eye on him.

Tamaki:
Of course, I have to.
I'm training him to be a gentleman like me.
Haruhi, come here for a minute.

Haruhi:
What's up?

Tamaki:
I'd like you to meet someone.
This is my regular guest, princess Ayanokoji.

Haruhi:
It's that girl from earlier.
Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Tamaki:
That was so cute!
That air of bashfulness was very good!
Super good, amazingly good!

Ayanokoji
Oh, Tamaki.

Tamaki:
Oh, you're so cute!

Haruhi:
Mori-senpai! Help me!

Tamaki:
Mori-senpai, you really didn't have to go that far.
Come on, little one.
Let daddy give you a big hug.

Haruhi:
I've already got a dad.
I don't need another one.


Haruhi:
Hey, what happened to my bag?
Are you kidding me?
But how did that happen?
I didn't think there were bullies at this school.
Hm, guess they're everywhere.

Ayanokoji:
Oh, it's you again.
I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you.
It's useless, though.
You're always going to be a second-class citizen.

Haruhi:
I have a feeling that girl is the one who threw my bag in the pond.
I can't be bothered with her right now, though.
I've gotta find my wallet or I won't have any money for food this week.

Tamaki:
Hey, commoner!
You've got some nerve, skipping out on the club like that.
Why is your bag all wet?

Haruhi:
Uh, it's no big deal.
I got it.
I just can't find my food money.
Hey, you don't have to do that.
You'll get wet.

Tamaki:
A little water never hurt anyone.
Besides, people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks.
Hang on a second.
This what you're looking for?
What's the matter?
You're staring off into space.
You're not falling for me, are you?

Haruhi:
No way.

Tamaki:
How did your bag end up in the pond anyway?

Haruhi:
Well, uh... I guess I accidentally dropped it out the window at some point.

Ayanokoji:
Oh really, that must have been terrible.
I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the pond.

Haruhi:
Why did she request me when it's obvious she doesn't like me?

Ayanokoji:
And you actually made Tamaki search that dirty old pond with you.
How astonishing.
You do realize he's a blue blood, not a commoner, right?
The only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman.
Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you.

Haruhi:
Now I understand.
You're jealous of me.

Ayanokoji:
No, Haruhi, leave me alone!
Somebody, help!
He just attacked me!
Someone, do something!
Teach this commoner a lesson!
Why did you do that?
Do something, Tamaki.
Haruhi just assaulted me.

Tamaki:
I'm disappointed in you.
You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?

Ayanokoji:
You don't know that.
Do you have any proof that I did?

Tamaki:
You know, you're a beautiful girl.
But you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear.
If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man.

Ayanokoji:
But why, Tamaki?
You idiot!

Tamaki:
Hmm, now how am I going to punish you?
Because it is your fault after all.
Your quota is now one thousand!

Haruhi:
One thousand?

Tamaki:
Come on.
I've got high expectations for you, my little rookie.

Kyoya:
This is the only spare uniform we have.
Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?

Haruhi:
Thanks a lot, you guys.
I'm gonna go change.

Tamaki:
Haruhi, here you go.
I brought you some towels.
Haruhi?

Haruhi:
Yeah.

Tamaki:
So, you're a girl?

Haruhi:
Biologically speaking, yeah.
Listen, senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl.
In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are.

Kyoya:
Well, isn't this an interesting development.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Oh, yeah.

Haruhi:
Uh, you know, I have to say, senpai.
I thought you were pretty cool earlier.

Kyoya:
Now I could be wrong, but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here.

Haruhi:
Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad.
I wonder how I could pull it off.
I've got it!
I'll just call everyone dude and bro now.


Tamaki:
Don't start getting full of yourself just because you're popular.
If you're going to be a host—

Haruhi:
Wow.
Another customer has requested me.

Tamaki:
Don't take my customers!

Haruhi:
Next time: "The Job of a High School Host."

Tamaki:
The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you.

Host Club Members:
We'll see you then.