Kagami:
It's so stinky, you know?

Tsukasa:
Stinky!

Tadao:
Well girls, Golden Week's almost over now.
Were you two able to get done with all your homework and stuff?

Tsukasa:
Umm, I haven't finished yet...
You know how you just wanna play during these long holidays!
We're in trouble.
Aren't we, Sis?

Kagami:
Sorry, but I'm almost done with my homework.

Tsukasa:
But we've been playing this whole time...



Kagami:
Thanks for breakfast.

Kagami:
Can you help me with this problem?

Matsuri:
If you can't figure it out, do you honestly think I could?

Kagami:
You're in college, aren't you?!

Miki:
Do me a favor.
Wake Tsukasa up.

Kagami:
No, she won't wake up for me.

Miki:
Honey, wake up already!

Kagami:
Dad sure is late, isn't he?

Matsuri:
Yeah, didn't he have a groundbreaking ceremony this morning?

Tsukasa:
Okay, Mom.
What time is it?

Tadao:
I'm home.

Miki:
It's past noon!

Kagami:
Hi, Dad! How was work?

Tsukasa:
Good morning...

Kagami:
It's afternoon.

Matsuri:
How can you sleep for so long?

Kagami:
Did you see the special finale of Love Apron last night?

Konata:
No, missed it.

Tsukasa:
I fell asleep in the middle.

Kagami:
You didn't see the end?
I can't believe you slept through the end of it.
This guy shows up out of nowhere with a red bucket on his head!



Miki:
Kagami, Miyuki-chan's on the phone for you.

Kagami:
'Kay.

Miyuki:
I was wondering if you'd like to get together to go over the answers on our homework?

Kagami:
Sure, that sounds like an awesome idea!

Miki:
Kagami, Konata-chan's on the phone.

Konata:
Yeah, so, do you wanna get together to go over all the answers to our homework?

Kagami:
Wait a minute!
You're just gonna copy all my answers, aren't ya?!

Konata:
'Kay, I'm here. Can I copy your homework now?

Kagami:
Man, talk about being blunt.
Fine! You can copy my homework if you want,
but if you don't do it on your own, you're still gonna blow that exam
we have coming up after the break.

Tsukasa:
I guess you're right.
In the long run, it's not gonna be good for me.

Konata:
I'm good at pulling all-nighters before a test.
So I'm down with the copying action.

Kagami:
Do you even have a conscience?!



Miyuki:
Hello, everyone.

Kagami:
Oh, hi, Miyuki-san.

Konata:
Hey, what's up?

Miyuki:
Are you going to be studying with us as well, Izumi-san?

Kagami:
No, she's just gonna copy it.
You're kidding me.
Haven't either of you done your homework?
Okay, what'd you guys do during the break?

Tsukasa:
Let's see...

Tsukasa:
I got 23 pages of math, 20 pages of world history, and 30 pages of English to do.
I got a five-day break...
If I study for five, no, four hours a day...
Math takes 1.15 pages an hour...

Tsukasa:
Oh no, I haven't done any homework today!
Let's see... I've got three days left, so I guess if I work... six hours a day?

Tsukasa:
Two more days...
If I work all day and night...

Tadao:
Well, girls, Golden Week's almost over now.
Were you two able to get done with all your homework and stuff?

Konata:
Yeah, so do you wanna get together to go over all the answers to our homework?

Tsukasa:
I wanted to get everything done. I even had it planned out.

Kagami:
Your plans failed.

Konata:
Your resistance was futile.

Kagami:
You're worse off than her!

Kagami:
Huh?
At least she tried her best and did it on her own.
No matter what anyone says, deep down, she's a hard worker.
But her accuracy's horrible, I can't bear it.
Horrible, just horrible!



Kuroi:
So, were you guys able to have any fun during the short break?
I know you had quite a lot of homework to do,
and you also have that little midterm thing today.
Don't tell me you spent the whole vacation goofing off instead of studying!

Minoru:
Ma'am, that didn't feel like a vacation at all!

Kuroi:
Life's tough.
I just kicked back and played around the whole time!

Konata:
Oh, ma'am...

Kuroi:
Yeah?

Konata:
I kicked back and played around the whole time too!

Kuroi:
Hey!



Kagami:
I always thought they designed these things so that you couldn't get the prizes.

Konata:
Uh, kinda depends on the prize.
Some of these are supposed to be hard to get.

Tsukasa:
Really?

Kagami:
Whatever, I never felt like trying it anyway.

Tsukasa:
Oh, amazing!

Konata:
Yeah, this little guy is an easy one to grab.

Kagami:
Really?

Kagami:
If it's that easy to get one, maybe if I tried it...

Konata:
"...I could get one too."
Is that what you were thinking?

Kagami:
No! What are you talking about?
I wasn't thinking anything!
But I guess it couldn't hurt to just try this one time.
Konata:
You know, you wanna try it...

Tsukasa:
Go for it, Sis.
You can do it!

Kagami:
Darn! Thought I had that one for sure.

Tsukasa:
Oh, bummer.

Kagami:
Huh? Ah? Uhgh!...
Shoot!
No way!
Why?!

Konata:
A wise man once said that,
"A UFO catcher's someone else's piggy bank."


Kagami:
True words of wisdom.



Tsukasa:
What... Oh, again... Oh no!
I totally suck at this game.
You've got really good rhythm, Kona-chan.

Konata:
Nah, it doesn't have anything to do with rhythm.
Rhythm, coordination, problem solving - the skills you get from gaming are useless in the real world.

Kagami:
Looking at you, I don't doubt that one bit.



Tsukasa:
Wow, you're super strong.

Konata:
Yeah, I know...

Kagami:
How much money does she spend on these things?



Kuroi:
Izumi!
Hm? Has anyone seen Izumi today?

Teacher:
Hey, Miss Kuroi! I got a Miss Izumi on the line for ya.

Kuroi:
Kuroi speaking.
Why aren't you in class?

Konata:
I'm sorry.
I gotta take the day off.
I'm not feeling too good.

Kuroi:
That's unusual.
Did you catch a cold or something?

Konata:
No, it's just the May sickness is all...

Kuroi:
Huh?

Konata:
I feel sluggish you know.

Kuroi:
Hurry up and get down here!



Kagami:
Hey! We're going home now.
What's up, Konata?
Why are you stuffing all those books in your bag?

Konata:
The exams start tomorrow,
and that means I gotta take all my books home tonight so I can cram till dawn.

Kagami:
You never take your books home to study?
You leave them in here everyday?
Unbelievable. Look, Konata, for one thing, there's no way you're gonna learn all that stuff the night before an exam!

Konata:
Eh, I've always made it through exams doin' it this way.

Kagami:
You're confident.
We'll see how long that attitude lasts you tomorrow.



Kuroi:
Okay, I'm gonna return the exams you took the other day!

Students:
Oh...

Kagami:
Not too shabby.
How'd you do?

Tsukasa:
Please don't ask, Sis...
But I did the best I could, you know.

Kagami:
How about you, Little Miss All-nighter?

Konata:
Totally passed it!

Kagami:
You aren't human, are ya?!



Konata:
Blah...
I don't feel like doing anything.

Kagami:
Come on! We're all going home.
On the way home, you always end up hanging out with us anyway.

Konata:
Oh, it's Comp-Fest!
And they're gonna be giving out QUO Cards.
I gotta collect them all!
Right, time to get a part-time job!

Kagami:
You're talking out loud to yourself again.

Kagami:
That's crazy! I've never heard of anyone using a case of May sickness as an excuse before.

Miyuki:
Oh, I understand where she's coming from though.

Konata:
Well, they call it a sickness, so the excuse is totally legit, isn't it?

Kagami:
Do you honestly think that's true?

Konata:
Yeah.

Tsukasa:
What exactly is the May sickness, anyway?

Kagami:
Miyuki, do you wanna explain it?

Miyuki:
Well, by definition, May sickness happens after you've accomplished a major goal -
such as a college entrance exam, or if you've just gotten a new job.
It also happens when a relationship that started in April doesn't work out.
Or when you can't reconcile the life you wanted versus the life you have.
The symptoms include lethargy, apathy, and even a mild depression.
You see, if you just feel lethargic, I don't think you can call that the May sickness.

Kagami:
Besides, all of us are still in the eleventh grade, so it doesn't even apply to us yet.

Konata:
I like the change of pace in spring.
I always do my best this time of year.

Kagami:
Oh, yeah.
I guess I can see your point though. I tend to feel a little blah around this time of year too.
I don't know, it's like sometimes I don't even feel like doing homework and stuff when I get home.

Konata:
Yeah, I'm the same way!

Kagami:
I'm skipping the snide remark. I'm pooped!

Tsukasa:
What's wrong, Yuki-chan?
Why are you sighing and stuff?

Miyuki:
I'm a little embarrassed to talk about it;
it's like my phobia about contact lenses.
I'm afraid to go to the dentist, and I put it off for so long that my cavity's gotten worse.
And now it's so bad that it hurts even when I drink water.

Tsukasa:
But, isn't that... sorta normal?
I mean, I'm afraid of that too.

Konata:
But if you knew it was gonna get this bad, then why didn't you take care of it earlier?

Konata:
Huh?

Miyuki:
Well, even though I knew it was going to be tough for me when my teeth started hurting...

Tsukasa:
For some reason, you still don't want to go to the dentist.

Miyuki:
Even after the pain starts, you still don't wanna go anywhere near a dentist.
You just put it off and try to bear it for as long as possible.

Konata:
Are dentists really that scary?
I've never had to deal with them, so I don't know.

Tsukasa:
You've never been to a dentist?
I'm jealous.

Miyuki:
There's that distinct medicine you smell in the office,
and then the tension as you wait in the lobby.

Tsukasa:
I know, and the sound of those drills drilling away in the back!

Konata:
Change Getter!

Tsukasa:
So scary!

Konata:
Maybe guys like going to the dentists more than girls do.

Tsukasa:
Why's that?

Konata:
Don't they say that a drill is kinda like a guy's...?
Dinosaur Empire!
I hear guys go totally nuts for battles between robots that use drills for weapons!

Tsukasa:
Eh? Yeah, but I think they'd hate to have their teeth shaved off.
Y'know what?
When you go to the dentist, have you ever noticed
how pretty all the dental assistants and receptionists are?

Miyuki:
Come to think of it, they are.

Konata:
I wonder why that would be?

Miyuki:
Maybe the person hiring them has certain aesthetic standards.

Konata:
Beautiful dental assistants and drills...

Miyuki:
The way you put it, I agree, it does seem more geared towards men.

Tsukasa:
Then what do you think a dentist geared more for women would be like?

Konata:
First thing they'd have to get rid of would be that medicine you smell.

Tsukasa:
And the chair they put you in should be one of those puffy reclining chairs
with a massager in it!

Miyuki:
Aromatherapy would be relaxing.
Uh, and you could also have a foot massage at the same time.

Tsukasa:
That sounds good.

Konata:
And if you were able to play games while they were drilling on you,
that would help to ease the pain!

Tsukasa:
It might be hard to play games then...

Miyuki:
But it is a good idea to have something to distract us.

Konata:
Like putting on some headphones and listening to your favorite tunes.

Tsukasa:
Yeah, good one.

Miyuki:
That's a great idea.

Konata:
Mm-hmm.

Miyuki:
But in the end, I still don't wanna go to the dentist.

Tsukasa:
Me neither...

Konata:
What the...?!

Kagami:
Now what's wrong?

Konata:
They're turning another one of my favorite series into an anime.
But the cast is totally different from the one on the drama CD.

Kagami:
Really?
I don't get what the big deal is.

Konata:
Is this like an act of God or something?
Politics? Money? What?

Kagami:
I never got into drama CDs, so I don't care who's in the cast.
If the voices match the characters in the original series, I'm okay.

Konata:
But that's not how it works, Kagamin!
If you're used to listening to the drama CDs, it's weird when you start watching the anime and all the voices are different.
See, it takes a long time before that weirdness goes away.

Kagami:
Huh?

Konata:
But something good definitely comes out of news like this.

Kagami:
Yeah, like what?

Konata:
Drama CDs and anime...
You can enjoy two worlds with two different sets of voices.
That's two for the price of one!

Kagami:
You're quite the tough shopper, aren't you?

Konata:
Well, guys, looks like Miyuki-san's left a nugget on her plate.
So it's up to us to figure out who's gonna get to eat it.
How about we have a staring contest and the winner gets to eat it?

Kagami:
What? That is so childish.

Tsukasa:
That sounds fun.
Come on, let's do it!

Konata:
I think Kagami may have already won.

Kagami:
You say something?

Konata:
Then let's begin the staring contest right now. Blah-blah!

Kagami:
Hahahaha... Tha... that was insane!

Tsukasa:
Amazing!

Kagami:
That doesn't even look human!

Konata:
Jeez, you guys. Talk about overreacting.

Miyuki:
I'm sorry I took so long.
The bathroom was crowded.
Did I miss something?

Kagami:
Come on, show Miyuki that crazy face you just made!

Konata:
No, I don't want to.

Kagami:
It was amazing, Miyuki!
You've never seen anything like this ever!

Konata:
Fine.

Tsukasa:
Isn't that totally amazing!

Miyuki:
It'll come in handy for the special talent section of your college application.

Kagami:
Yeah. Use it... use it to apply to college as I'm sure you'll get accepted!

Konata:
Yeah, that's not really a compliment..

Konata:
So I saw this report on TV about how many books the average Japanese person reads in a year.
Anyway, they said manga wasn't good enough, and that only normal books counted.

Tsukasa:
Isn't manga...

Konata:
I wonder if light novels would count?

Tsukasa:
Huh?
I don't know... I guess it's okay if we counted light novels.

Konata:
What about picture books?

Tsukasa:
Oh... Um... they're called books, so I guess they count?

Konata:
If you said Harry Potter and books like that are ordinary,
everyone who's into the fantasy genre would agree, right?
So, is there such a thing as an "ordinary" book?

Tsukasa:
Umm...

Konata:
Besides, they ended the whole report by saying something about
how the younger generation is starting to turn away from printed media and stuff.
The thing is, we use the net to look at all kinds of websites and blogs,
so I think we actually read more stuff these days than ever before.

Tsukasa:
Yeah, I kinda get what you're saying, and kinda not...

Kagami:
Hey guys!
Are you ready to go home?

Tsukasa:
Yeah, almost.

Konata:
Oh, I'm sorry. I can't go home with you guys today.

Kagami:
Huh? What's the deal?
Do you have to run an errand or something?

Konata:
Mm. I started a part-time job, that's why.

Kagami:
Huh?
Wait! She started a part-time job?
Is the Comp-Fest that important to her?!

Kagami:
You know, I'm really surprised Konata actually went through with it.

Tsukasa:
Me too.
She really got herself a part-time job.
I thought she was just kidding about getting one.

Kagami:
Hmm... I wonder about it though...

Tsukasa:
Huh?

Kagami:
I'm more surprised by the fact that someone actually went and hired her.

Tsukasa:
That doesn't sound very nice!

Kagami:
Well, for one thing, I'm having a hard time picturing her being a diligent worker.

Tsukasa:
Good point, Sis.

Kagami:
I wonder where she ended up working?

Tsukasa:
Maybe she works at a bookstore?
You know how she likes manga.

Man:
I wanna buy this.

Konata:
Yeah, hang on a sec.
I'm in the middle of something right now.

Man:
Bwha...?

Konata:
Got 'em!

Kagami:
I really hope she doesn't get fired...

Tsukasa:
How about a convenience store?

Man:
I wanna buy this.

Konata:
That'll be 498 yen please...
Arigatog......
.........

Man:
Uh...?

Kagami:
Ehh... not there.

Tsukasa:
Maybe a fast-food place?

Konata:
Got a problem with my smile?

Tsukasa:
Maybe not.

Kagami:
Family restaurants are also out of the question.

Konata:
Welcome...

Tsukasa:
I wonder what kind of job she got?

Kagami:
Yeah...

Tsukasa:
Maybe she's a traffic monitor?

Kagami:
Nah.

Tsukasa:
A video rental place?

Kagami:
I don't know.

Tsukasa:
An Izakaya?

Kagami:
That's not it.

Tsukasa:
Pizza delivery?

Kagami:
No license.

Tsukasa:
Supermarket cashier?

Kagami:
Nope.

Tsukasa:
Cram school teacher?

Kagami:
You're kidding!

Tsukasa:
A bread factory?

Kagami:
Huh?

Tsukasa:
Let's see... Hmm...

Kagami:
Let's ask her tomorrow.

Kagami:
Hey, Konata. What kind of place are you working at?

Tsukasa:
Yeah, tell us!

Konata:
Hmm? Oh, it's just your average cosplay cafe.

Kagami, Tsukasa:
Ughh, that's perfect for her!

Kagami:
Should she be working there?

Akira:
Hiya, Luckies!
Second episode!
It's me, Akira Kogami, your host!
I hope you're all excited, 'cause I sure am!
And sitting right next to me is a wonderful young man
who's going to assist me on the show, Mr. Minoru Shiraishi.

Shiraishi:
I for-for-for...
I'm Minoru Shiraishi, Akira-sama's assistant.
I'm still really new at this, so all I'm hopin' for is that you guys remember my name.
Yeah...

Akira:
Clappity clap clap...
Now we know it's just the second episode of Lucky Channel,
but we've already got tons of messages from you guys.
Yup! Tons and tons of messages!
You guys are making me super happy.
Thank you!

Shiraishi:
It's pretty amazing, isn't it?
All this attention is because you're so popular, Akira-sama.
Uh... what?

Akira:
Saw the show today.

Shiraishi:
Yeah?

Akira:
You were in it?

Shiraishi:
Huh?

Akira:
The show, man. You had a part.

Shiraishi:
Oh. Yeah, they did give me a little part.

Akira:
Yeah...
They did, didn't they?
Uh-huh? So, what was the scene you were in, anyway?

Shiraishi:
Sure, um...
It was scene 45, part A - the classroom after vacation.

Akira:
Right, right. Yeah, now, I remember...
You came and went by so fast I'd almost forgotten.

Shiraishi:
Yeah, well, I only had one line in the scene, so I...

Akira:
Nahh! You complaining or...!?

Shiraishi:
No! Nobody's complaining!

Akira:
You should be thrilled those guys are giving a newbie like you a line in a scene.
Things were different when I debuted on the screen...

Shiraishi:
Oh, really.
How old were you when you made your debut?

Akira:
Three years old. Back then I was ecstatic that they even gave me a crummy line.
But it's not about how many lines you get after all.

Shiraishi:
Well, it was pretty tense for a while there, being surrounded by the biggest names in the industry.
What an amazing experience!

Akira:
Yeah, you were tense.
I could tell.

Shiraishi:
Huh?

Akira:
You were stiff as a board.
You looked like a total amateur.
Tell you what.
I don't usually do this, but what the hell.
Come on. Let's hit that scene together, you and me.

Shiraishi:
Uhh, you mean like right now?

Akira:
They might bring you back for another episode, right?

Shiraishi:
Yeah, I guess.

Akira:
Then, you have to practice your craft, man.
Listen, I'm offering to help you out here!

Shiraishi:
No, yeah. I got it, I got it!
Thank you, I really appreciate it.

Akira:
The script, please.
So, which scene was it?

Shiraishi:
The scene 45.

Akira:
Oh yeah, this one.
Okay. I'll play Kuroi, the teacher.

Shiraishi:
Whenever you're ready.

Akira:
Ready and... action!
"So, were you guys able to have any fun during the short break?
I knowyou had a quie... q, qui, quiet...?

Shiraishi:
That's "quite".

Akira:
...quite a lot of homework to do. You also got that little midterm thingy today.
Don't tell me you spent the whole vacation goofing off instead of studying."

Shiraishi:
" Ma'am, that didn't feel like a vacation at all! "

Akira:
What was that?!

Shiraishi:
What?

Akira:
That totally sucked. There's no motivation - the line didn't deliver!

Shiraishi:
Deliver?

Akira:
Deliver here, right here!
I gotta feel it!

Shiraishi:
Oh, I'm sorry...

Akira:
Hell, if you're just gonna say the line, a monkey can do that.

Shiraishi:
But, monkeys can't talk, ma'am, I...

Akira:
Huh!?

Unyu? Hm...
I guess it's time to say goodbye now.
I think it's sad when happy times like this go by so fast, don't you?
Well, anyway, keep on sending your questions and comments!
And please don't forget me. I need to know you love me too, 'kay?

Shiraishi:
And we'll see all of you in the next episode.

Akira:
See ya later! Bye bye, everybody!


Akira:
Yeah, so... what do they like?

Shiraishi:
By " they " you mean...

Akira:
The cast. Somebody's getting kicked off, yeah?
They hate each other, right?
Bunch of divas, right?

Shiraishi:
No, it's not like that.
Everybody's pretty cool!

Akira:
Then, why don't you help a girl out...?!


Tsukasa:
Amazing Kona-chan!

Miyuki:
And what a passionate performance!

Kagami:
Hey, Konata!
Are the next two songs gonna be like the last one?

Konata:
I picked a couple of anime songs, with a few from some live-action shows.

Kagami:
That's not the point!
Pick songs that the rest of us can recognize.

Konata:
Hey, I can sing whatever I want.
So chill out!

Kagami:
Fine, whatever.
Hey, Tsukasa! Punch some songs into that thing
or we'll be listening to her warbling anime vocals all night.

Tsukasa:
I don't mind if she does.

Miyuki:
Actually, this is kind of fun.

Kagami:
Miyuki, not you too?!

Konata:
Sorry if I block the screen, but I'm gonna do this one standing.

Kagami:
You really think that's gonna help?

Konata:
It's harder if I'm sitting down 'cause I can't use my diaphragm.

Kagami:
You're gonna sing even louder than the last song?!

Konata:
Hey, footage from the show.

Tsukasa:
Wow, look at that!

Kagami:
This looks like a TV show from way before we were born.


Shiraishi:
Okay ladies, here are your drinks.

Kagami:
Ah...thank you...

Shiraishi:
Ah, oolong tea?

Kagami:
That's me, thanks...

Shiraishi:
And the iced lemon tea?

Miyuki:
Right here, please.

Shiraishi:
Uh, who had orange juice?

Tsukasa:
That's me.

Shiraishi:
And the ginger ale goes to?

Kagami:
O... oh... yeah...
Just... ah... right there... thanks.



Narration:
On the next episode of Lucky Star...

Kagami:
Kagami here!
Okay, so when I put 200 yen in(to) a vending machine to buy a can of juice,
and get back a 50-yen and some 10-yen coins as change,
I think to myself, "Score!"
But then, when I wanna buy a 150-yen ticket for the train,
and after I put in a 100-yen coin, I think, "Oh, (what the...? I have/I've got five) 10-yen coins left!"
So I put in four, (but I'm only on a half course?/but I only ever have four).
So now I’m one short, so I end up putting in another hundred yen coin to buy the ticket,
and then I get back nine 10-yen coins as change.
And I feel so defeated, you know? Ugh!
Next time -- "Various People".

Narration:
Look forward to it.