ef - a tale of memories. > 11. ever forever

Chihiro:
Oh, hello, Renji-kun.

Renji:
Hi. You're late today.

Chihiro:
Here it is--my novel.

Renji:
Huh?

Chihiro:
I even wrote the ending all by myself.

Renji:
Oh, I see. That's great.

Chihiro:
Is something wrong?

Renji:
No, I'm happy. Congratulations.

Chihiro:
Thank you very much. However, there's one more step before it's finished.
I want you to read it and tell me exactly what you think about it, okay?
This novel is a collaboration between you and me.

Renji:
Which ending did you decide on?
Does the girl escape into the picture, or does the boy come into the real world?
You hadn't decided on which ending yet before.

Chihiro:
Why don't you read it and find out?

Renji:
Okay.

Chihiro:
No, don't read it now!

Renji:
Huh?

Chihiro:
Would you mind waiting until I'm not around? It's embarrassing.
I've been meaning to thank you.

Renji:
Thank me?

Chihiro:
I couldn't have done it alone.
If you hadn't helped me, I never would have been able to finish the novel.
It's all thanks to you, Renji-kun.

Renji:
I didn't do anything, really. You had the power to write it all along without me.

Chihiro:
No, if it weren't for you, I never would have even started writing it.
You gave me the opportunity to make my only dream become reality.
It was... because of you, Renji-kun.
There must be some way that I can express my gratitude to you.

Renji:
Chihiro, I...

Chihiro:
Is there anything I can do to thank you? Please tell me.

Renji:
All right, then how about we go on a date together?

Chihiro:
You wanna go on a date?

Renji:
No?

Chihiro:
But it's just... dates are for lovers.

Renji:
Oh, okay then. Can we be lovers?
I know, it's not a big deal. I'm not exactly Prince Charming. I'm sorry.

Chihiro:
No! It's not that! It's not that at all.
If that's what you want, I guess we can be lovers.
But just for one day, okay?

Renji:
Just for a day?

Chihiro:
Yes. Tomorrow we'll be lovers for the day.
And that means we can go on a date together.

Renji:
But only tomorrow?

Chihiro:
Just think of it as a trial period.

Renji:
What happens after that?

Chihiro:
Let's take it one day at a time.
Can I ask you a favor? Would you mind waiting to read the novel?

Renji:
Huh?

Chihiro:
You can read it after our date. Is that okay with you?


Himura:
You two are really very much alike.

Chihiro:
Oh, really? Who am I like?

Himura:
Who're you like? I forgot who.

Chihiro:
The person that you're waiting for?

Himura:
I forgot who that was.

Chihiro:
Umm...

Himura:
Hm?

Chihiro:
Can you tell me what it feels like to fall in love with somebody?

Himura:
Well, you can't help yourself.

Chihiro:
You can't?

Himura:
Once you realize it, it's too late. You can't go back even if you wanted to.

Chihiro:
If that's the case, I'm afraid it may already be too late for me.

Himura:
I see.

Chihiro:
Um, I'd like to thank you for everything you've done for me.

Himura:
Why so formal?

Chihiro:
I don't know. I guess... I just feel like I should say things when they come to my mind.
Otherwise, I'm worried that I might forget.

Himura:
I haven't done anything.

Chihiro:
That's the same thing Renji-kun says.

Himura:
I guess he and I are alike. Here. Give this to him.

Chihiro:
What is it?

Himura:
It's just... a formality.


Chihiro:
Good morning, Renji-kun.

Renji:
Oh, hi. Good morning.

Chihiro:
Is there something wrong?

Renji:
No, just your clothes.

Chihiro:
Well, I got dressed up because we're going on a date.
My sister bought me this dress. But I've never had a chance to wear it.

Renji:
It's really cute. You look fantastic, Chihiro.

Chihiro:
Thank you very much, Renji-kun.
What do you have planned for our date?

Renji:
I don't know. If you don't mind, I thought we'd go see a movie first. Is that okay?

Chihiro:
That sounds like fun.

Renji:
What kind? I guess if it's a date, a romantic one would be best.

Chihiro:
That's fine, as long as it's not sad.

Renji:
Not sad, huh?

Chihiro:
I don't like sad movies. They always make me cry.

Renji:
So uh, a comedy maybe?

Chihiro:
That would be perfect. [Well], I like comedies.

Renji:
I'm so sorry. It was a comedy, I had no idea it would end up having a sad story like that.
This is just a movie, please don't cry.

Chihiro:
I'm sorry... I need to wash my face.

Renji:
Do you need some tissues?

Chihiro:
No, I have some... Sorry about that.

Renji:
Welcome back.

Chihiro:
I was sad, but it really was a good movie.

Renji:
I was pleasantly surprised.
I thought it would be more slapstick, but it was actually kinda heart-warming, wasn't it?

Chihiro:
Yes, it was.

Renji:
Still, man, that was pretty sad.

Chihiro:
I'm glad at least it had a happy ending... 'cause... the rest of it...
Excuse me...

Renji:
Ah, do you need tissues again?

Chihiro:
You're so mean!
So where should we go next?

Renji:
Well, let me see... I've never been on a date like this before...
You don't like crowds, so arcades are no good... Huh? Wanna try?

Chihiro:
Mm.

Renji:
Come on, those things are completely rigged.
I mean, there's no way to beat them. No need to cry.
We should've tried for the bunny next to it, I guess.
I know, I'll buy you the same one. I know where they sell them.

Chihiro:
But our eyes met...

Renji:
What?

Chihiro:
He wanted me to take him home with me!

Renji:
Let's go back. You want that one, right? I'll get it for you. Just wait.
This time... This time! This time! Go! Yeah, I got it! Okay, don't let go.
Take it easy. Take it easy. Just take it easy. Yes! Aha, I got it, here!

Chihiro:
Thank you so much, Renji-kun. Poyo...

Renji:
Poyo?

Chihiro:
I have one at home called "Piyo-chan". So this one is "Poyo-chan".

Renji:
Okay, I see.

Chihiro:
Can we try that over there?

Renji:
Huh?

Chihiro:
May I have one?

Renji:
There're so many, you can have half of them.

Chihiro:
I only need one.

Renji:
Really?

Chihiro:
Mmhmm. It's perfect. Thanks, Renji-kun.


Chihiro:
I'm having a great time today.

Renji:
I'm glad.

Chihiro:
So uh... Renji-kun.

Renji:
What is it?

Chihiro:
Do you think it'd be okay if we held hands?

Renji:
Huh? Sure!

Chihiro:
Thank you for doing that.

Renji:
We're lovers after all.

Chihiro:
That's true. I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm with you, I always feel so relaxed.

Renji:
What should we do next?

Chihiro:
If you don't mind, I'd like to go to the beach.

Renji:
The beach?

Chihiro:
Yes, lovers are supposed to go to the beach.

Renji:
Is that so?

Chihiro:
Yup. At least that's what I read in a book.
What do you think lovers do when they go to the beach?

Renji:
It's kind of nice doing nothing, just being together.

Chihiro:
Yes, it is. We've been here before.
You and I have come to the beach, haven't we?

Renji:
Yeah.

Chihiro:
So many things have happened to the two of us.

Renji:
Yeah. And a lot of those things have happened here.

Chihiro:
The only reason I know that is from reading my diary. I don't remember anything.
By tomorrow, I'll have forgotten everything that happened today.

Renji:
I wish that... tomorrow would never come.

Chihiro:
Please don't say that, Renji-kun.
You never know--tomorrow may be better than today.

Renji:
Yeah, that's very true.

Chihiro:
Oh, I almost forgot. Himura-san asked me to give you something.
Uh, here you go. He said it's a spare key to the rooftop of the school building.

Renji:
Huh? But why?

Chihiro:
Evidently, the view of the town at sunset is beautiful from up there.

Renji:
No, I mean... why does Himura-san have the key to the school's roof?

Chihiro:
I don't know. He didn't tell me.

Renji:
He's so mysterious.

Chihiro:
He did say that it's a school custom for the key to be passed down from one person to another.

Renji:
Hm. So what do you think? Should we go check it out?

Chihiro:
Okay!


Chihiro:
Wow!

Renji:
This is amazing. We have to thank Himura-san later.

Chihiro:
Yes, we do. This is beautiful!

Renji:
Be careful! Don't get too close to the edge!

Chihiro:
Don't worry! It's fine!

Renji:
This really is amazing.

Chihiro:
It looks like a painting.

Renji:
Chihiro.

Chihiro:
Yes?

Renji:
I love you.
I'll love you tomorrow, and the day after, and the next day, forever, for as long as both of us are alive.
I guess I'm not very good at confessions like this.
But I... admit I dreamt about them. I do love you.
Can I please kiss you?

Chihiro:
But Renji-kun, kissing is for lovers.

Renji:
For today, I am your lover.

Chihiro:
If that's the case, then you shouldn't have to ask me.

Renji:
You're right.

Chihiro:
I know.
Oh! I don't think we did it right because our teeth clicked.

Renji:
Then, uh, why don't we try it again?
I-I'm sorry, Chihiro. I guess I got a little bit carried away there.

Chihiro:
Please don't let go. We've become so much closer today, Renji-kun.
The last thing I want is for you to treat me like I'm far away.

Renji:
All right, I won't.

Chihiro:
We've finally become lovers. Please don't let go.
Why did you pick me?

Renji:
I don't know. Why did you pick me, Chihiro?

Chihiro:
I don't know that, either. But...

Renji:
But?

Chihiro:
I do know that I love you, too, Renji-kun.

Renji:
Chihiro... What is it?

Chihiro:
I love you so much.

Renji:
[That's sweet.]

Chihiro:
I really do!

Renji:
Yeah, I know that you do.

Chihiro:
Renji-kun.

Renji:
What is it?

Chihiro:
Kiss me.

Renji:
Hey, hold on! We should slow down a little bit!

Chihiro:
I don't want to.

Renji:
Are you writing about today?

Chihiro:
Yes, about what happened earlier.

Renji:
Well, what did you write?

Chihiro:
I can't tell you. It's too embarrassing.

Renji:
Well, just tell me whatever you can.

Chihiro:
That we kissed and our teeth clicked.

Renji:
Uh... I guess you shouldn't say anymore about that.

Chihiro:
No, I guess I shouldn't.

Renji:
It's 10:00 PM. So her memory from 9:00 this morning is about to fade away.
Everything that we did and said.
With every hour that passes, today's events will fade... one hour at a time.
It'll all... be gone.

Chihiro:
What's the matter, Renji-kun?

Renji:
Not a thing. Nothing at all.

Chihiro:
Good. I'm glad nothing's wrong.
I guess that means today is over.
Which means your trial period is over, too.

Renji:
You brought it here?

Chihiro:
Uh-huh. I would like you to read it, because then it will be finished.

Renji:
Chihiro.

Chihiro:
I'm still too embarrassed to let you read it in front of me.
But don't worry, I'll just be on the rooftop reading.
I would like to reread all of my diary and trace back to the day that we first met.
Let me know when you're finished reading it.

Renji:
Yeah...

Chihiro:
See you then.

Renji:
Okay.


Renji:
She was the only one in the world. So she was a god.

Chihiro:
A strange scene happened--the people in the pictures began to move.
God stared at the pictures, and it was confused.
The two people in it were laughing together.
But the picture was blurry--the world inside was distorted.
The girl thought "why is that?"
A strange emotion began to well up inside of her.
She wasn't able to describe what it was.
She couldn't understand why the picture was blurry, when it had once been so clear.
But the two people in the picture were still laughing.
She could feel their joy.
The girl decided to redraw the picture. She drew it over and over.
But each time, the result was the same.
The girl didn't know what to do. She didn't know what was happening.
She was the only one in the world. So she was a god.
God wanted everything to be more beautiful, much more beautiful.
So she burned all the pictures. She burned down the castle.
She set fire to all of her memories.
And in the end, God threw away the last bit of trash in the world over the cliff.


Chihiro:
Renji-kun...

Renji:
I finished it. I finished the story.

Chihiro:
What did you think?

Renji:
Well, I was kinda surprised. It was a really sad ending.

Chihiro:
No, I have to disagree with you.
As far as I'm concerned, that's the happiest ending the girl could ever hope for.
She realized that she never should have interacted with anyone, 'cause she found out what loneliness was.

Renji:
Chihiro...

Chihiro:
The girl on the story... That girl was me.
Sorry, Renji. We need to say goodbye.

Renji:
We can't.

Chihiro:
I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter.

Renji:
Chihiro...

Chihiro:
I'm sorry.

Renji:
Stop it!

Chihiro:
Did I... ever tell you about the sheep?
The one that's tied to the stack starves to death, when it eats all the grass.

Renji:
Yeah...

Chihiro:
Like that sheep, I'm tied to a chain that's twelve years long.
No matter how much time passes, I can't step outside the circle.
The farthest I can reach is thirteen hours.
Writing a novel has been my dream for the last twelve years.
I knew that when I finished the story, I would be finished, too.
From the very start, I had decided that once this novel was finished, I was going to disappear.
Let's make away so quietly, you would forget me.
I would be just like a mermaid, disappearing into the ocean.
But I... I can't be a mermaid. Actually, I think I'm more like Cinderella.

Renji:
That's fine. But... I have to say I'm hardly Prince Charming, but... That's not... That's not the point.

Chihiro:
You don't understand, Renji-kun.

Renji:
What?

Chihiro:
You made me so happy--very very happy.
You don't know how much I love you.
But... I can't avoid who I am! I don't want it to happen!
But I know that you're going to disappear from my heart!
I wanna say goodbye while I can still say I love you.

Renji:
That... that doesn't make any sense at all, Chihiro.

Chihiro:
You helped me write the novel. It was a dream that I had already given up on.
You found me a uniform and let me experience school.
If it weren't for you, I'd still be sitting in that old abandoned train station.
Before you came along, I would just sit there staring up at the sky.
I was always on the verge of tears. In fact, the whole reason I'd look up is so my tears wouldn't fall.
You held me tight, and I felt so safe in your arms.
You've suffered because of me. I know that I've brought you to tears.
I don't ever wanna be the one to make you unhappy, Renji-kun... because I love you too much.

Renji:
Chihiro...

Chihiro:
If you stay with me, I'm afraid you're only going to continue to suffer because of me.
And I don't want to hurt you like that.
I'm not leaving 'cause I don't love you.
It's just the only way I know how to keep you from being unhappy.
I thought there was nothing I could do, but I found a way to spare you.

Renji:
Stop it!

Chihiro:
You should praise me.

Renji:
I'm in love with you, Chihiro!
How can I praise you for having such ridiculous ideas in your head?!

Chihiro:
Please just smile for me.

Renji:
I can't do that!

Chihiro:
Please do this for me. Smile and say goodbye like you always do.

Renji:
I don't want to.

Chihiro:
I'm sorry. Goodbye!

Renji:
Chihiro! This is...

Chihiro:
This is me. This is the diary I've kept since the first day we met.
From this day forward, the me that knows you is gone.
I won't be able to remember you anymore. It's for the best.
This is the end.


As the season ends, there's a new beginning.
On the next episode of ef: a tale of memories - love.
Is there a memory you never wanna forget?