Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu > 05. The Pure Yet Impure Grappler / Trespassing on Good Faith
The Pure Yet Impure Grappler (純で不純なグラップラー)
(フラグ建築) Kaname: Huh... Huh... Punks: Hey! Get back here! Kaname: Damn! They're not letting up! Kyoko: Huh, what on earth did you think what's going to happen? You let loose on them with the flying vacuum knee kick! Kaname: I thought they were a bunch of con artists running a scam. Kyoko: I can't go on... Kaname: Kyoko! Punks: Don't you give us any trouble now! What? So you thought you could get away, did you? Kaname: Ah... Everyone calm down, and let's resolve this by talking it over! Punks: It's too late! Kaname: Ah... Huh? Punks: Ugh... Issei: Full grown men shouldn't be hitting women. Punks: What? You think you're a tough guy? I order... Owowow! Come on! Stop it! Let go of me! I'm begging you! Don't mess with us, you freak! Ugh... Ah... Who the hell do you think you... Ugh! Kaname: Wow... Issei: Hm! Kaname: Um... Issei: Hm? Kaname: Thank you so much for rescuing us. Issei: Don't get the wrong idea. Kaname: Huh? Issei: I did it 'cause it'd be a nuisance to have a big scene behind the shop I work at. Otherwise, hell if I'd help a couple of shallow women like you. Kaname: Oh, I see then. Issei: If you get the picture, then beat it, woman. Kaname: Grr... Patronizing creep! But he did save us. Control, control, control... huh, under control. But before we both go. Issei: Ah... Kaname: There you are. It's just a little token of our gratitude but it'll have to do. If you just had been more pleasant, I would've given you a steamy kiss to go along with it. I guess it's too bad, eh? Issei: K-Kiss?! Kaname: Hu, heh, heh... Just kidding. Anyway thank you. Let's go, Kyoko. Kyoko: Um, uh, thank you. See ya. Issei: Ah...
*[語 句]
Kaname:
Man, issuing an eviction notice...
Sousuke:
We have no choice. This is by order of His Excellency.
Kaname:
But I hear the amateur karate club has quite a history.
Even if we march right down there they may not be in a listening mood.
Sousuke:
That's probably why we were the ones who were chosen.
Kaname:
Things are gonna get messy here, aren't they?
Sousuke:
Here we are.
Kaname:
Huh?
Wow, this place is a dump.
Sousuke:
Get down!
Kaname:
What the...?
karate boy1:
You two over there. Are you losers here to challenge us too?
Sousuke:
So, that's the amateur karate club?
karate boys:
So, what do you want?
Kaname:
As we've informed you before, this dojo is so old and run-down that we're going to demolish it.
So please vacate the premises. Today, if possible.
karate boy1:
That's something we can't agree to.
karate boy2:
We don't have anywhere else we can go.
karate boy3:
If you build another club house for us, then we might consider it.
Kaname:
Sorry you guys, but that's a little beyond my power.
karate boy1:
Okay, no deal.
karate boy2:
If you really want this place that bad...
karate boy3:
You'll have to come take it by force.
Sousuke:
Chidori.
They're telling us it's okay for us to use force on them.
So why don't we just forcibly remove them?
karate boy1:
An interesting proposition.
karate boy2:
So a girly man like you...
karate boy3:
Think he has what it takes to beat us?
Sousuke:
It's a fact. None of you could beat me by yourself.
Kaname:
Hang on, Sousuke.
karate boy1:
All right, then.
We were just starting to get little bored.
karate boy2:
Now, choose any one of us three.
If by some chance you win, we'll vacate the dojo. But...
karate boy3:
If it's dead you end up losing we expect suitable compensation.
Now let's see...
karate boys:
We'll take the woman.
Kaname:
What!?
karate boy1:
We are looking for a new club manager.
karate boy2:
And she's quite a pure and lovely maiden.
karate boy3:
Yeah, looks like she'd bear good kids!
Sousuke:
All right. That's fine.
Kaname:
Wait! Sousuke!?
Sousuke:
No need to worry. I just have to win.
I'll fight you.
karate boy2:
All right. Bring it on.
First, you should know something.
Here, we aspire to the true Vale Tudo.
Extreme combat style no-holds-barred mixed martial arts.
So be prepared to break a few bones, pretty boy.
Sousuke:
Combat style? That should be perfect.
karate boy2:
Eat this!
Sousuke:
I won.
karate boy1:
You coward! What was that?
karate boy3:
Where do you get off using guns, huh?
Sousuke:
So guns aren't fair? Why is that?
karate boy1:
Silence. Anyway, guns are forbidden.
Sousuke:
In combat shouldn't you face your foe with the best tools you've got?
karate boy3:
Guns aren't allowed even in a real match!
karate boy1:
We wanna rematch. Now!
Kaname:
Well, what they're saying makes sense, you know.
Sousuke:
Understood. I won't use guns.
karate boy1:
It's my turn. Get ready.
Eat this!
Stop! I'm begging you! Stop it!
Sousuke:
I won.
karate boy3:
You can't use gas either!
Sousuke:
I just don't get it.
Kaname:
Don't you see, Sousuke? These guys do all their fighting with nothing but their bare hands.
Sousuke:
Just their bare hands? I've never heard of actual fighting like that.
Kaname:
It's true.
Sousuke:
Okay. But I st...
Kaname:
Stop whining!
Sousuke:
Understood. I have to win using just my hands and no weapons.
Kaname:
That's correct. Exactly.
karate boy3:
Now it's my turn. Get ready!
Eat this!
Sousuke:
Here. Catch.
karate boy3:
No! Stop it!
Sousuke:
I won.
Kaname:
Really, why do you have to be so dirty and underhanded?
Sousuke:
I used my bare hands.
Kaname:
You used a grenade or did you forget?
Sousuke:
That was merely a decoy. The pin wasn't pulled.
Kaname:
You've really got some nerve thinking up dirty tricks like that.
Sousuke:
Yes, well, we've seized control now.
Issei:
You still got me here.
Kaname:
Oh.
Sousuke:
You are?
Issei:
Issei Tsubaki from class A, karate club captain.
Kaname:
What? Captain?
Sousuke:
How long were you watching?
Issei:
Not long. I suspect you made some kind of deal where they have to do something for you if you defeated them.
Sousuke:
Correct. We want you to vacate the dojo.
Issei:
If that's what you want you'll have to go through me.
Kaname:
Hey, wait a sec.
Issei:
What is it, woman?
Kaname:
It's me. Me! Don't you remember?
Issei:
Quiet! You know what I know.
Kaname:
A look-alike? No, it can't be.
Sousuke:
In other words, all I have to do is defeat you?
Issei:
Yeah. Use whatever means you want.
Issei:
"Daidomyaku secret technique"
"Thrombotic Fist"
Kaname:
Sousuke!
Issei:
Now leave! No woman should be entering our sacred dojo. Get out!
Kaname:
Why do you keep calling me woman? I have a name and it's Kaname Chidori.
Issei:
Woman's a good enough name for you.
Kaname:
Man, I thought you were a nice guy yesterday but now...
Issei:
Say what? No way! Well, at any rate, I won. So you can forget about doing anything...
Sousuke:
It's not over yet.
Kaname:
Sousuke, are you...
Sousuke:
Yes. I'm all right. The punch affected me but...
Issei:
Oh? Who'd thought you're still moving after a punch like that?
Sousuke:
I think I'm starting to see why some people prefer to fight barehanded.
For them, in this setting, guns would just be inelegant.
Allow me to fight you seriously.
Issei:
Well, in that case, guess I'll just have to use these.
Last time, I just missed the vital spot.
Now I won't miss.
All right, then, Sagara. Let's see you try to hit me.
Kaname:
Excuse me, can we talk about that manager position real quick?
Sousuke:
Save it for later, Kaname.
Issei:
Woman, did I not tell you to... get... out!?
You... you mean to say you're from... the same school?
Kaname:
Huh?
Issei:
So-Sorry I yelled at you and everything. Please forgive me.
I-I didn't mean any harm. I appreciate the Band-Aid. Really.
Kaname:
Oh, so you didn't know it was me because of bad eyesight?
Issei:
No, that's not it. Your tone of voice, it just sounded different, so I am, so, yeah...
Your name's Kaname Chidori, huh? That's a nice name.
Sousuke:
Tsubaki, let's go.
Issei:
Go? Go where?
Sousuke:
I don't get it. But it looks like I won.
Kaname:
Wow, that's odd. I was sure he'd be much stronger than that.
Sousuke:
What goes on in their heads of guys like these is truly a mystery.
Issei:
Through carelessness or not, a loss is still a loss. We'll vacate the dojo.
But don't think you've heard the last of us.
We wanna rematch, Sagara. The stakes are Kaname Chidori.
karate boys:
Yeah.
Sousuke:
That's fine. Whenever you're ready.
Kaname:
Huh? Who said it was your decision, anyway!?
Trespassing on Good Faith (善意のトレスパス)
Kaname:
Now, look, bomber boy!
How many times do you have to do this till you are happy!?
Sousuke:
I found a suspicious article in my locker.
Kaname:
That again. What is it this time?
Sousuke:
Well, it would appear the item is another letter.
Kaname:
Give me that. Oh, man. I can't read it 'cause you blew it up again!
Sousuke:
I will try and reconstruct it then.
Kaname:
Oh, really? Fine. Make sure you clean this up because I'm going home.
Issei:
Sagara! Sagara! Sagara! Sagara! Sagara!
Sousuke:
Put your glasses on, Tsubaki.
Issei:
Shut up. Why didn't you make it to the duel, huh?
Sousuke:
When was this?
Issei:
Don't play dumb! You know I put a letter of challenge in your locker yesterday.
Kaname:
That letter was a challenge then?
Sousuke:
Well, that's news to me.
Issei:
You're saying you didn't read it?
Sousuke:
I'm afraid I was unable to read it. I blew it up.
Issei:
You, what? What are you, some kind of freak?
Take this!
Hold it, Sagara!
Here. Daidomyaku Ultimate Secret Technique.
"Fist of Near Death"!
So, learned your lesson, Sagara?
Mikihara:
They say recovery will take a week.
Kaname:
So what you're saying is his injury wasn't actually that bad?
Hayashimizu:
The extent of his injury is beyond the point.
A student has hurt Mr. Zenji Onuki.
That is the problem, Miss Chidori.
Kaname:
Oh...
Hayashimizu:
So, you're Issei Tsubaki, correct?
Would you tell me why you're so obsessed with Sagara?
I heard you made some kind of bet when you were evicted from your dojo.
Kaname:
The deal was that I become their club manager if he beats Sousuke.
Hayashimizu:
Yes, that's it? Unfortunately, Tsubaki, that bet you made is null and void.
Sagara exercises no such right to control her person.
And to think that your club could possess her is simply outrageous.
Kaname:
Ah-huh.
Hayashimizu:
The only person who can control student body vice president Chidori is I, president Atsunobu Hayashimizu.
Kaname:
That's right... Hey, wait!
Issei:
The bet, to me, is not that important.
But losing due to my own carelessness is what I found unbearable.
Losing to him, a dirty, slimy, senseless, cheeky, disagreeable, shameless, cowardly, dishonest, impure guy who always looks down on everyone.
Kaname:
Wow, that's quite a list.
Hayashimizu:
Yes, I believe I understand now.
In that case, why not try fighting head-on.
If you win you get a new club house, lose and you will no longer interfere with Sagara.
How does that sound?
Kaname:
President...?
Issei:
That would be perfect, Mr. president.
Sousuke:
If that's you order.
Hayashimizu:
Hold on one moment.
A contest needn't always rely entirely on brute force.
Onuki:
Things were better in the old days.
Students back then were all simple and honest filled with dreams and hope.
Even if they lacked material possessions their hearts were rich.
But what about now? A single punch and one can see that wild material objects are plentiful.
People's hearts are grown dissolute. It's so sad.
Sousuke:
Reporting for duty, Sir.
Issei:
xxx, Onuki?
Onuki:
You're, you're the boys...
Sousuke:
Is your body still sore, sir?
Onuki:
What?
Issei:
Now, look! Does it hurt or doesn't it.
Onuki:
If you must know it does.
Sousuke and Issei:
Right.
Issei:
What?
Issei:
There's internal bleeding. Give him a cold compress.
Sousuke:
No. I strongly object to cooling it.
You should turn him so his head faces down to keep him suitably warm and take a urine sample.
Onuki:
Cut it out!
Just what you up to? No. No way. You're here to take my ripen flesh by force.
You're planning to have your fill of the fruit that's just about to fall from the branch.
Sousuke:
He appears to have misunderstood us.
Issei:
We're not going to hurt you so rest easy.
Onuki:
What?
Sousuke:
We have come here to care for you and take over your duties while you're recuperating.
Issei:
We've been given permission. So you just take it easy now.
Issei:
Wh-What? Really?
Onuki:
In my twenty five years of service I've never, I've never been so moved as I am right now.
Oh, there still is compassion in this world.
Thank you, thank you boys, oh, thank you!
Sousuke:
For that reason, Mr. Onuki, please observe as I, Sousuke Sagara, competently fulfill your duties.
Issei:
Hey, don't pay any attention to this guy. Watch the way that I, Issei Tsubaki, work for you.
Sousuke:
Sousuke Sagara!
Issei:
Issei Tsubaki!
Sousuke:
Are you hungry, sir? I'll make you dinner.
Issei:
Wait, I do it!
Onuki:
W-W-Wait! B-Boys, hung on. Thank you, but...
Kaname:
Is this really gonna be okay?
Deciding which of the two will win by who's the most useful?
Hayashimizu:
Brilliant. Yes.
Mikihara:
Even those on the school stuff were satisfied with the conditions of the contest.
Kaname:
Yes. But, more than likely, both of them will just keep on threatening and bugging Mr. Onuki until he just gives up and picks a winner.
Hayashimizu:
You're thinking too much, Miss Chidori.
Both those boys are good people at heart. See for yourself.
Kaname:
Hey, he's right.
Issei:
Outta way, Sagara! That's my job!
Sousuke:
Hey! What are you doing!? I was here first.
Issei:
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna show you. How about this?
Sousuke:
Give that to me! Leave this job to the expert!
Issei:
What!? Jerk! Idiot!
Onuki:
All right. Let's see how they've been doing.
What's this!?
No, no. Mustn't get angry, mustn't get angry.
Because no matter how clumsy they are they're actually doing the job, I'm sure those two are trying their hardest in their own way.
A small thing like this is nothing compare to the lifetime of hardship...
Issei:
Get out of my way!
Sousuke:
Out of mine!
Sousuke and Issei:
Mr. Onuki.
Onuki:
Both of you have a seat there.
First, I'll say this. I am incredibly grateful for all the kindness you've shown me and your boundless enthusiasm.
Content of the work aside, I intend to give you a great deal of credit for your efforts thus far.
Sousuke and Issei:
Sir.
Onuki:
However, there is one thing that I simply cannot overlook and that's the relationship you have with each other.
Why can't you guys just get along? You're always squabbling over the littlest thing.
It's so sad.
Nothing good can come from fighting.
I'm not asking you to become best friends but couldn't you help each other out just a little bit more?
Sousuke:
If that's what you're looking for...
Issei:
That's what we're actually doing just now, Sir.
Onuki:
Oh?
Tonight's dinner, fish in miso.
Issei:
Sagara prepared the ingredients. I cooked it.
Issei:
Hmm.
Oh, it's good.
See? You two can do it if you try.
Hey, by the way, what kind of fish is this? I've never had it before.
Sousuke:
It's koi.
Onuki:
It's koi?
Sousuke:
Yes. It's from the pond behind the school.
Issei:
Man, it was huge.
Sousuke:
And it put up quite a fight, didn't it?
Issei:
Took forever to kill it.
Hey, Mr. Onuki?
Onuki:
Boys, that koi was...
Issei:
It was what?
Onuki:
That koi... I spent the last fifteen years of my life taking care... and I mean good care, in raising that koi.
She was like a granddaughter to me.
That's the kind of koi she was.
Sousuke:
Oh...
Issei:
Her name was Catherine.
I named her after this one particular famous French actress.
So you caught her. It took forever to kill her.
And once more after doing all these things you fed her to me. Is that correct?
Sousuke:
That's correct, sir.
Onuki:
Yes, yes. I think I finally understand now.
You don't have the slightest bit of good intentions.
The only thing in you two is sheer maliciousness.
Issei:
But, sir.
Onuki:
I must avenge the death of my dear sweet Catherine.
It's too bad you'll have to die, Sagara and Tsubaki. Die!
Kaname:
Ah, what's this!?
Just what the heck is all this about!? What happened here?
Sousuke:
Live ammo, live ammo has no effect whatsoever on this guy...
Issei:
No, please, no more, no more of this fighting, please no more...
Onuki:
So what am I... What am I doing out here?
Did something happen last night?
(次回予告)
Kaname:
Speeding patrol cars, mascots that fight and an unbeatable janitor?
I don't know but it looks like we're rapidly losing our principles.
I think the serious viewers are gonna get mad.
Sousuke:
Relax. Next, we offer up a couple of serious horror stories.
Kaname:
I see. Well, tuning in next time for "The Hard Self Fetish" and "The Patient of Darkness."
Sousuke:
I don't really get it. But I suppose I should be scared now.
Kaname:
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The Pure Yet Impure Grappler (純で不純なグラップラー)
(フラグ建築)Kaname:
Huh... Huh...
Punks:
Hey! Get back here!
Kaname:
Damn! They're not letting up!
Kyoko:
Huh, what on earth did you think what's going to happen?
You let loose on them with the flying vacuum knee kick!
Kaname:
I thought they were a bunch of con artists running a scam.
Kyoko:
I can't go on...
Kaname:
Kyoko!
Punks:
Don't you give us any trouble now!
What? So you thought you could get away, did you?
Kaname:
Ah... Everyone calm down, and let's resolve this by talking it over!
Punks:
It's too late!
Kaname:
Ah... Huh?
Punks:
Ugh...
Issei:
Full grown men shouldn't be hitting women.
Punks:
What? You think you're a tough guy? I order... Owowow!
Come on! Stop it! Let go of me! I'm begging you!
Don't mess with us, you freak! Ugh... Ah...
Who the hell do you think you... Ugh!
Kaname:
Wow...
Issei:
Hm!
Kaname:
Um...
Issei:
Hm?
Kaname:
Thank you so much for rescuing us.
Issei:
Don't get the wrong idea.
Kaname:
Huh?
Issei:
I did it 'cause it'd be a nuisance to have a big scene behind the shop I work at.
Otherwise, hell if I'd help a couple of shallow women like you.
Kaname:
Oh, I see then.
Issei:
If you get the picture, then beat it, woman.
Kaname:
Grr... Patronizing creep! But he did save us.
Control, control, control... huh, under control. But before we both go.
Issei:
Ah...
Kaname:
There you are.
It's just a little token of our gratitude but it'll have to do.
If you just had been more pleasant, I would've given you a steamy kiss to go along with it.
I guess it's too bad, eh?
Issei:
K-Kiss?!
Kaname:
Hu, heh, heh... Just kidding. Anyway thank you.
Let's go, Kyoko.
Kyoko:
Um, uh, thank you. See ya.
Issei:
Ah...
*[語 句]
Kaname:
Man, issuing an eviction notice...
Sousuke:
We have no choice. This is by order of His Excellency.
Kaname:
But I hear the amateur karate club has quite a history.
Even if we march right down there they may not be in a listening mood.
Sousuke:
That's probably why we were the ones who were chosen.
Kaname:
Things are gonna get messy here, aren't they?
Sousuke:
Here we are.
Kaname:
Huh?
Wow, this place is a dump.
Sousuke:
Get down!
Kaname:
What the...?
karate boy1:
You two over there. Are you losers here to challenge us too?
Sousuke:
So, that's the amateur karate club?
karate boys:
So, what do you want?
Kaname:
As we've informed you before, this dojo is so old and run-down that we're going to demolish it.
So please vacate the premises. Today, if possible.
karate boy1:
That's something we can't agree to.
karate boy2:
We don't have anywhere else we can go.
karate boy3:
If you build another club house for us, then we might consider it.
Kaname:
Sorry you guys, but that's a little beyond my power.
karate boy1:
Okay, no deal.
karate boy2:
If you really want this place that bad...
karate boy3:
You'll have to come take it by force.
Sousuke:
Chidori.
They're telling us it's okay for us to use force on them.
So why don't we just forcibly remove them?
karate boy1:
An interesting proposition.
karate boy2:
So a girly man like you...
karate boy3:
Think he has what it takes to beat us?
Sousuke:
It's a fact. None of you could beat me by yourself.
Kaname:
Hang on, Sousuke.
karate boy1:
All right, then.
We were just starting to get little bored.
karate boy2:
Now, choose any one of us three.
If by some chance you win, we'll vacate the dojo. But...
karate boy3:
If it's dead you end up losing we expect suitable compensation.
Now let's see...
karate boys:
We'll take the woman.
Kaname:
What!?
karate boy1:
We are looking for a new club manager.
karate boy2:
And she's quite a pure and lovely maiden.
karate boy3:
Yeah, looks like she'd bear good kids!
Sousuke:
All right. That's fine.
Kaname:
Wait! Sousuke!?
Sousuke:
No need to worry. I just have to win.
I'll fight you.
karate boy2:
All right. Bring it on.
First, you should know something.
Here, we aspire to the true Vale Tudo.
Extreme combat style no-holds-barred mixed martial arts.
So be prepared to break a few bones, pretty boy.
Sousuke:
Combat style? That should be perfect.
karate boy2:
Eat this!
Sousuke:
I won.
karate boy1:
You coward! What was that?
karate boy3:
Where do you get off using guns, huh?
Sousuke:
So guns aren't fair? Why is that?
karate boy1:
Silence. Anyway, guns are forbidden.
Sousuke:
In combat shouldn't you face your foe with the best tools you've got?
karate boy3:
Guns aren't allowed even in a real match!
karate boy1:
We wanna rematch. Now!
Kaname:
Well, what they're saying makes sense, you know.
Sousuke:
Understood. I won't use guns.
karate boy1:
It's my turn. Get ready.
Eat this!
Stop! I'm begging you! Stop it!
Sousuke:
I won.
karate boy3:
You can't use gas either!
Sousuke:
I just don't get it.
Kaname:
Don't you see, Sousuke? These guys do all their fighting with nothing but their bare hands.
Sousuke:
Just their bare hands? I've never heard of actual fighting like that.
Kaname:
It's true.
Sousuke:
Okay. But I st...
Kaname:
Stop whining!
Sousuke:
Understood. I have to win using just my hands and no weapons.
Kaname:
That's correct. Exactly.
karate boy3:
Now it's my turn. Get ready!
Eat this!
Sousuke:
Here. Catch.
karate boy3:
No! Stop it!
Sousuke:
I won.
Kaname:
Really, why do you have to be so dirty and underhanded?
Sousuke:
I used my bare hands.
Kaname:
You used a grenade or did you forget?
Sousuke:
That was merely a decoy. The pin wasn't pulled.
Kaname:
You've really got some nerve thinking up dirty tricks like that.
Sousuke:
Yes, well, we've seized control now.
Issei:
You still got me here.
Kaname:
Oh.
Sousuke:
You are?
Issei:
Issei Tsubaki from class A, karate club captain.
Kaname:
What? Captain?
Sousuke:
How long were you watching?
Issei:
Not long. I suspect you made some kind of deal where they have to do something for you if you defeated them.
Sousuke:
Correct. We want you to vacate the dojo.
Issei:
If that's what you want you'll have to go through me.
Kaname:
Hey, wait a sec.
Issei:
What is it, woman?
Kaname:
It's me. Me! Don't you remember?
Issei:
Quiet! You know what I know.
Kaname:
A look-alike? No, it can't be.
Sousuke:
In other words, all I have to do is defeat you?
Issei:
Yeah. Use whatever means you want.
Issei:
"Daidomyaku secret technique"
"Thrombotic Fist"
Kaname:
Sousuke!
Issei:
Now leave! No woman should be entering our sacred dojo. Get out!
Kaname:
Why do you keep calling me woman? I have a name and it's Kaname Chidori.
Issei:
Woman's a good enough name for you.
Kaname:
Man, I thought you were a nice guy yesterday but now...
Issei:
Say what? No way! Well, at any rate, I won. So you can forget about doing anything...
Sousuke:
It's not over yet.
Kaname:
Sousuke, are you...
Sousuke:
Yes. I'm all right. The punch affected me but...
Issei:
Oh? Who'd thought you're still moving after a punch like that?
Sousuke:
I think I'm starting to see why some people prefer to fight barehanded.
For them, in this setting, guns would just be inelegant.
Allow me to fight you seriously.
Issei:
Well, in that case, guess I'll just have to use these.
Last time, I just missed the vital spot.
Now I won't miss.
All right, then, Sagara. Let's see you try to hit me.
Kaname:
Excuse me, can we talk about that manager position real quick?
Sousuke:
Save it for later, Kaname.
Issei:
Woman, did I not tell you to... get... out!?
You... you mean to say you're from... the same school?
Kaname:
Huh?
Issei:
So-Sorry I yelled at you and everything. Please forgive me.
I-I didn't mean any harm. I appreciate the Band-Aid. Really.
Kaname:
Oh, so you didn't know it was me because of bad eyesight?
Issei:
No, that's not it. Your tone of voice, it just sounded different, so I am, so, yeah...
Your name's Kaname Chidori, huh? That's a nice name.
Sousuke:
Tsubaki, let's go.
Issei:
Go? Go where?
Sousuke:
I don't get it. But it looks like I won.
Kaname:
Wow, that's odd. I was sure he'd be much stronger than that.
Sousuke:
What goes on in their heads of guys like these is truly a mystery.
Issei:
Through carelessness or not, a loss is still a loss. We'll vacate the dojo.
But don't think you've heard the last of us.
We wanna rematch, Sagara. The stakes are Kaname Chidori.
karate boys:
Yeah.
Sousuke:
That's fine. Whenever you're ready.
Kaname:
Huh? Who said it was your decision, anyway!?
Trespassing on Good Faith (善意のトレスパス)
Kaname:
Now, look, bomber boy!
How many times do you have to do this till you are happy!?
Sousuke:
I found a suspicious article in my locker.
Kaname:
That again. What is it this time?
Sousuke:
Well, it would appear the item is another letter.
Kaname:
Give me that. Oh, man. I can't read it 'cause you blew it up again!
Sousuke:
I will try and reconstruct it then.
Kaname:
Oh, really? Fine. Make sure you clean this up because I'm going home.
Issei:
Sagara! Sagara! Sagara! Sagara! Sagara!
Sousuke:
Put your glasses on, Tsubaki.
Issei:
Shut up. Why didn't you make it to the duel, huh?
Sousuke:
When was this?
Issei:
Don't play dumb! You know I put a letter of challenge in your locker yesterday.
Kaname:
That letter was a challenge then?
Sousuke:
Well, that's news to me.
Issei:
You're saying you didn't read it?
Sousuke:
I'm afraid I was unable to read it. I blew it up.
Issei:
You, what? What are you, some kind of freak?
Take this!
Hold it, Sagara!
Here. Daidomyaku Ultimate Secret Technique.
"Fist of Near Death"!
So, learned your lesson, Sagara?
Mikihara:
They say recovery will take a week.
Kaname:
So what you're saying is his injury wasn't actually that bad?
Hayashimizu:
The extent of his injury is beyond the point.
A student has hurt Mr. Zenji Onuki.
That is the problem, Miss Chidori.
Kaname:
Oh...
Hayashimizu:
So, you're Issei Tsubaki, correct?
Would you tell me why you're so obsessed with Sagara?
I heard you made some kind of bet when you were evicted from your dojo.
Kaname:
The deal was that I become their club manager if he beats Sousuke.
Hayashimizu:
Yes, that's it? Unfortunately, Tsubaki, that bet you made is null and void.
Sagara exercises no such right to control her person.
And to think that your club could possess her is simply outrageous.
Kaname:
Ah-huh.
Hayashimizu:
The only person who can control student body vice president Chidori is I, president Atsunobu Hayashimizu.
Kaname:
That's right... Hey, wait!
Issei:
The bet, to me, is not that important.
But losing due to my own carelessness is what I found unbearable.
Losing to him, a dirty, slimy, senseless, cheeky, disagreeable, shameless, cowardly, dishonest, impure guy who always looks down on everyone.
Kaname:
Wow, that's quite a list.
Hayashimizu:
Yes, I believe I understand now.
In that case, why not try fighting head-on.
If you win you get a new club house, lose and you will no longer interfere with Sagara.
How does that sound?
Kaname:
President...?
Issei:
That would be perfect, Mr. president.
Sousuke:
If that's you order.
Hayashimizu:
Hold on one moment.
A contest needn't always rely entirely on brute force.
Onuki:
Things were better in the old days.
Students back then were all simple and honest filled with dreams and hope.
Even if they lacked material possessions their hearts were rich.
But what about now? A single punch and one can see that wild material objects are plentiful.
People's hearts are grown dissolute. It's so sad.
Sousuke:
Reporting for duty, Sir.
Issei:
xxx, Onuki?
Onuki:
You're, you're the boys...
Sousuke:
Is your body still sore, sir?
Onuki:
What?
Issei:
Now, look! Does it hurt or doesn't it.
Onuki:
If you must know it does.
Sousuke and Issei:
Right.
Issei:
What?
Issei:
There's internal bleeding. Give him a cold compress.
Sousuke:
No. I strongly object to cooling it.
You should turn him so his head faces down to keep him suitably warm and take a urine sample.
Onuki:
Cut it out!
Just what you up to? No. No way. You're here to take my ripen flesh by force.
You're planning to have your fill of the fruit that's just about to fall from the branch.
Sousuke:
He appears to have misunderstood us.
Issei:
We're not going to hurt you so rest easy.
Onuki:
What?
Sousuke:
We have come here to care for you and take over your duties while you're recuperating.
Issei:
We've been given permission. So you just take it easy now.
Issei:
Wh-What? Really?
Onuki:
In my twenty five years of service I've never, I've never been so moved as I am right now.
Oh, there still is compassion in this world.
Thank you, thank you boys, oh, thank you!
Sousuke:
For that reason, Mr. Onuki, please observe as I, Sousuke Sagara, competently fulfill your duties.
Issei:
Hey, don't pay any attention to this guy. Watch the way that I, Issei Tsubaki, work for you.
Sousuke:
Sousuke Sagara!
Issei:
Issei Tsubaki!
Sousuke:
Are you hungry, sir? I'll make you dinner.
Issei:
Wait, I do it!
Onuki:
W-W-Wait! B-Boys, hung on. Thank you, but...
Kaname:
Is this really gonna be okay?
Deciding which of the two will win by who's the most useful?
Hayashimizu:
Brilliant. Yes.
Mikihara:
Even those on the school stuff were satisfied with the conditions of the contest.
Kaname:
Yes. But, more than likely, both of them will just keep on threatening and bugging Mr. Onuki until he just gives up and picks a winner.
Hayashimizu:
You're thinking too much, Miss Chidori.
Both those boys are good people at heart. See for yourself.
Kaname:
Hey, he's right.
Issei:
Outta way, Sagara! That's my job!
Sousuke:
Hey! What are you doing!? I was here first.
Issei:
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna show you. How about this?
Sousuke:
Give that to me! Leave this job to the expert!
Issei:
What!? Jerk! Idiot!
Onuki:
All right. Let's see how they've been doing.
What's this!?
No, no. Mustn't get angry, mustn't get angry.
Because no matter how clumsy they are they're actually doing the job, I'm sure those two are trying their hardest in their own way.
A small thing like this is nothing compare to the lifetime of hardship...
Issei:
Get out of my way!
Sousuke:
Out of mine!
Sousuke and Issei:
Mr. Onuki.
Onuki:
Both of you have a seat there.
First, I'll say this. I am incredibly grateful for all the kindness you've shown me and your boundless enthusiasm.
Content of the work aside, I intend to give you a great deal of credit for your efforts thus far.
Sousuke and Issei:
Sir.
Onuki:
However, there is one thing that I simply cannot overlook and that's the relationship you have with each other.
Why can't you guys just get along? You're always squabbling over the littlest thing.
It's so sad.
Nothing good can come from fighting.
I'm not asking you to become best friends but couldn't you help each other out just a little bit more?
Sousuke:
If that's what you're looking for...
Issei:
That's what we're actually doing just now, Sir.
Onuki:
Oh?
Tonight's dinner, fish in miso.
Issei:
Sagara prepared the ingredients. I cooked it.
Issei:
Hmm.
Oh, it's good.
See? You two can do it if you try.
Hey, by the way, what kind of fish is this? I've never had it before.
Sousuke:
It's koi.
Onuki:
It's koi?
Sousuke:
Yes. It's from the pond behind the school.
Issei:
Man, it was huge.
Sousuke:
And it put up quite a fight, didn't it?
Issei:
Took forever to kill it.
Hey, Mr. Onuki?
Onuki:
Boys, that koi was...
Issei:
It was what?
Onuki:
That koi... I spent the last fifteen years of my life taking care... and I mean good care, in raising that koi.
She was like a granddaughter to me.
That's the kind of koi she was.
Sousuke:
Oh...
Issei:
Her name was Catherine.
I named her after this one particular famous French actress.
So you caught her. It took forever to kill her.
And once more after doing all these things you fed her to me. Is that correct?
Sousuke:
That's correct, sir.
Onuki:
Yes, yes. I think I finally understand now.
You don't have the slightest bit of good intentions.
The only thing in you two is sheer maliciousness.
Issei:
But, sir.
Onuki:
I must avenge the death of my dear sweet Catherine.
It's too bad you'll have to die, Sagara and Tsubaki. Die!
Kaname:
Ah, what's this!?
Just what the heck is all this about!? What happened here?
Sousuke:
Live ammo, live ammo has no effect whatsoever on this guy...
Issei:
No, please, no more, no more of this fighting, please no more...
Onuki:
So what am I... What am I doing out here?
Did something happen last night?
(次回予告)
Kaname:
Speeding patrol cars, mascots that fight and an unbeatable janitor?
I don't know but it looks like we're rapidly losing our principles.
I think the serious viewers are gonna get mad.
Sousuke:
Relax. Next, we offer up a couple of serious horror stories.
Kaname:
I see. Well, tuning in next time for "The Hard Self Fetish" and "The Patient of Darkness."
Sousuke:
I don't really get it. But I suppose I should be scared now.
Kaname:
Be afraid. Be very afraid.