A Goddess Comes to Japan: Part 1 (女神の来日(受難編))

~前半戦~

(テスタロッサ休暇)
Soldier A:
Captain, Tank Thirteen in Group A on the port side needs to be completely replaced.

Soldier B:
No problems with the *palladium reactor.
However, the *bulkhead stress test will be executed as planned.

Soldier C:
And about the EMFC surface treatment, a GeoTron technician will arrive next week.

Captain(Testarossa):
Good job.
Mr. Mardukas, are these all the items on the work agenda?

Madukas:
Yes, Captain.
It'll take more than half a month to complete repairs on the ship.
So, how about it?
*Why not use this opportunity to take some *R&R?

Testarossa:
R and... R, huh?

Madukas:
Yes.
I think it would do you good to take it easy once in a while.

Testarossa:
Hmm...
You're right.
I think I'm going to take a little vacation.
There is one place I've always wanted to go.

Madukas:
Well, captain, why don't you go there?
I'll even assist you.

Testarossa:
You're serious?

Madukas:
I'd be glad to help!
So where is this place?

Testarossa:
Well, actually...

Madukas:
No!
You mustn't!
I'm *firmly against it!

Testarossa:
And why is that?

Madukas:
It's just the...
Why would someone like you want to go to a place like that?
The air is bad, the *scenery is terrible.
I'm not even sure it's safe...

Testarossa:
Liar.
You just promised that you would assist me with this trip, didn't you?

Madukas:
But, ma'am...

Testarossa:
When I asked you, you said, "You'd be glad"...
It's decided!
Let's *get started on preparations!

[語 句]
palladium reactor:eow.alc.co.jp/palladium/UTF-8/
bulkhead:eow.alc.co.jp/bulkhead/UTF-8/
Why not ~?:eow.alc.co.jp/why+not/UTF-8/
R&R:eow.alc.co.jp/r+and+r/UTF-8/
firmly:eow.alc.co.jp/firmly/UTF-8/
scenery:eow.alc.co.jp/scenery/UTF-8/
get started on ~:eow.alc.co.jp/get+started+on/UTF-8/




[女神の来日(受難編)]



(痴漢が出現)
Kaname:
Sousuke?
What are you doing?

Sousuke:
I'm writing a report, and I'm almost finished.

Kaname:
Oh... for the *mercenary unit?

Sousuke:
Yes.

Kaname:
So, there's more to your work than just *duking it out.

Sousuke:
*Affirmative.
Plus with all the class assignments, I haven't slept in three days.

Kyoko:
Guys!
It's terrible!
Terrible!

Kaname:
Kyoko, what's wrong?

Kyoko:
A *peeping Tom in the girls' locker room!
A tall, *lanky man walked in...
But as soon as everyone *screamed, he *ran off!
He said like, "Oh, my!" something like that!

Kaname:
He ran?

Sousuke:
So, an intruder?
Must have some guts if he got to the restricted area marked by the student council.

Kyoko:
Catch him!
He's still in the south building, Sousuke!

Sousuke:
Roger.
*I'm on it!

Kaname:
Wait a sec!
Don't hurt him!

Sousuke:
Should we be showing *mercy to an *intruder?

Kaname:
Look, I know it's a peeping Tom, but try to be peaceable.

Sousuke:
Understood.
I'll peaceably *inflict pain on him.

Kaname:
I SAID NO!

Kaname:
Isn't that him?
Hey, wait!

Sousuke:
Hey!
What is your business?!
Your answer will...

Kaname:
So you go *rough him up anyway...
...Sousuke?

Madukas:
Sergeant Sagara.
Is this the way you always treat your superior officers?

Sousuke:
I apologize.
If I'd known it was you, Commander, I wouldn't have subjected you to such an outrage...

Madukas:
Before you apologize, could you put down that gun?

Sousuke:
I'm sorry!

Kaname:
Hey, who is this guy?

Sousuke:
Watch what you say!
You've met him before too, you know.

Kaname:
Oh!
He *barks orders on the *sub!

Sousuke:
Wrong!
This is Commander Richard Mardukas, second in command of my unit.

Madukas:
May I presume, then, that you are doing well, Miss Chidori.

Madukas:
I met with your school principal *a short while ago...

Sousuke:
Sir.

Madukas:
After I was finished, I *took the liberty of touring the school grounds on my own.
But it appears I entered the locker room by accident.
I made my apologies, but I'm not sure if the little ladies understood...

Kaname:
No, they didn't.

Madukas:
I was just about to *summon you and get you to show me around.

Sousuke:
You mean...me, Sir?

Madukas:
Is that a problem?

Sousuke:
No, no, Sir!

Madukas:
Very well.

[語 句]
mercenary:eow.alc.co.jp/mercenary/UTF-8/
duke it out:eow.alc.co.jp/duke+it+out/UTF-8/
affirmative:eow.alc.co.jp/affirmative/UTF-8/
peeping Tom:eow.alc.co.jp/peeping+Tom/UTF-8/
lanky:eow.alc.co.jp/lanky/UTF-8/
scream:eow.alc.co.jp/scream/UTF-8/
run off:eow.alc.co.jp/run+off/UTF-8/
(be) on it:eow.alc.co.jp/on+it/UTF-8/
mercy:eow.alc.co.jp/mercy/UTF-8/
intruder:eow.alc.co.jp/intruder/UTF-8/
inflict:eow.alc.co.jp/inflict/UTF-8/
rough up:eow.alc.co.jp/rough+up/UTF-8/
bark:eow.alc.co.jp/bark/UTF-8/
sub:eow.alc.co.jp/submarine/UTF-8/
a short while:eow.alc.co.jp/a+short+while/UTF-8/
take the liberty of ~:eow.alc.co.jp/take+the+liberty+of/UTF-8/
summon:eow.alc.co.jp/summon/UTF-8/


(祝!すっぴんガールズ武道館公演)
Madukas:
Officially, my position here is a Cambridge professor.
I'm supposed to be an old acquaintance of your ostensible guardian.
That same friend is the one who referred this school to me...
And that's the story...

Madukas:
Sergeant!

Sousuke:
Sir!

Madukas:
What does that say?

Sousuke:
"Yay! Suppin Girls will play at Budokan," Sir!
That's all!

Madukas:
What's it mean?

Sousuke:
Don't know!

Kaname:
They're talking about a concert by a popular Japanese idol group.
I think one of their fans must have come in, and written that.

Madukas:
I see.
So it's a completely normal piece of graffiti, then.
But tell me, Sergeant.
How can you blend in with the civilians if you don't even know the names of their celebrities?

Sousuke:
Sir, I apologize...

Madukas:
You've been inattentive.
You lack enthusiasm for your duties.

Sousuke:
No, Sir!
That's not the case...

Madukas:
No excuses!
Improve yourself.
The unit isn't paying your salary to assault your superiors.

Sousuke:
Y...Yes, Sir...

Madukas:
So, is this classroom completely secure?

Sousuke:
Yes!
That's an affirmative, Sir!

Madukas:
And its sanitary conditions?
There aren't any nasty germs or pests, are there?

Sousuke:
Of course not!

Madukas:
Clean as a whistle, eh?

Sousuke:
Yes, Sir!

Kaname:
Like a mother-in-law on a bad sitcom...

Madukas:
This is what you call "clean as a whistle"?

Sousuke:
I...I'm sorry, Sir!

Madukas:
Honestly, what the Captain sees in a man like you...

Sousuke:
Sir?

Madukas:
Ahh, nothing!
Forget it!

Sousuke:
M...My apologies.

Kaname:
Hey, Sousuke, does this guy really just not like you or something?

Madukas:
Alright, I'm done here.
I'm going.

Sousuke:
Where to, Sir?

Madukas:
Where do you think?
Your apartment.


(文明の香りが微塵も無い部屋だ)
Madukas:
Honestly...
A room without the slightest scent of civilization.
Just the smell of oil and explosives.

Sousuke:
Sir...?

Madukas:
We must do something to make this space more tolerable.
A cleaning is an order.

Sousuke:
With all due respect, Commander...
I do clean these quarters on a regular basis...

Madukas:
Sergeant, you will start cleaning now.

Sousuke:
Yes, Sir!

Kaname:
They're still doing something over there.
Another sleepless night, huh?

Madukas:
Well, that about does it.

Sousuke:
Commander, why did you have me do this kind of work?
I don't understand...

Madukas:
She has arrived.

Sousuke:
Ca...Captain?!
Why are you...?!

Testarossa:
I took some leave and decided to do a foreign exchange at Jindai High.
I'm looking forward to our time together.

Sousuke:
B...But, why?!

Testarossa:
Just this once I wanted to be able to go to the same school as you, Mr. Sagara.
Is that so odd?

Sousuke:
No, Ma'am, not at all!
Feel free to attend my school as long as you want!

Testarossa:
Then, I'm going to get ready right away.

Madukas:
The ship is undergoing maintenance.
There are no ops scheduled at this time.
So we've taken this opportunity to allow the Captain to enjoy normal student life.

Sousuke:
I see...

Madukas:
Unfortunately, I have to return to the base, as do these two.
Now, listen up, Sergeant.
As you know, she is...Captain Testarossa is an extremely valuable person.

Sousuke:
Sir.

Madukas:
During this vacation, should any danger befall her or should she suffer any injury, I am completely prepared to put my foot down.
Do you catch my drift?

Sousuke:
Sir!

Madukas:
Very well.
And there's one more thing.
Sergeant Major Mao is planning to come us for support.
As long as she's around, I have nothing to worry about...
But, if in the unlikely event...you should happen to exploit the fact that you share the same roof and commit some shameless act against the Captain...
Should you happen to commit some sort of shameless act against the Captain, I will personally stuff you into a torpedo tube and launch you along with a three hundred kilogram explosive!
With God as my witness, I will tear you limb from limb!
IS THAT CLEAR?!

Sousuke:
I'D NEVER DREAM OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!

Madukas:
IS IT CLEAR OR NOT, SERGEANT?!

Sousuke:
SIR!!
IT'S PERFECTLY CLEAR, SIR!!

Testarossa:
Hey, hey, take a look!
What do you think?
It's perfect, isn't it?
I thought I'd surprise Mr. Sagara with it...
What is it?
What's wrong with you two?

Sousuke:
It's nothing.

Madukas:
It suits you well, Captain.



Testarossa:
I'm Teletha Testarossa. But please call me Tessa.

Students:
Oh, so cute!

Kagurazaka:
All right class, settle down.
She'll only be at our school for two weeks.
But let's all make her feel welcome.
It's part of cultural exchange.
And so, Sagara.

Sousuke:
Yes?

Kagurazaka:
You are not to show her your dangerous and skew perspective of the world under any circumstance, Got it?

Sousuke:
Yes, I'll do my best.

Kaname:
Sousuke, what the heck is going on?

Sousuke:
There's nothing to explain.
It's just what it looks like.
It's just part of the job.

Student:
Wow, you must know everything.

Testarossa:
No, there's really a lot of things I don't know.
And I get nervous really easily too.

Students:
That's all right. We're here for you.
That's right. We'll always back you up.

Sousuke:
This could be... the death of me...

Kyoko:
Oh, and that girl there is our class rep, Kaname Chidori.

Kaname:
Huh?

Kyoko:
She's also Student Council Vice President.
Go to her if you're having any problems.

Kaname:
Now hold on, I'm...

Kyoko:
Come on, come on. Get over here and introduce yourself.

Kaname:
Uh, yeah, hi, how do you do?
I'm Kaname, your class rep.
Feel free to ask me about anything, from how to use a Japanese-style toilet to how to rescue a helpless captain from danger.

Testarossa:
Thank you, Miss Chidori.
If I happen to have any boy troubles, I do hope you'll listen and be able to help me.

Kaname:
Well, just ask!

Testarossa:
Oh, how kind.

Kaname:
That's the kind of get-up people with strange fetishes are into.

Testarossa:
But, it's... Sergeant Weber kept saying that at Japanese schools this was the only way to go...
He said I'd be the laughingstock of the school if I wore a racing suit...

Kaname:
That foreign sicko.

Testarossa:
Was that a lie? Oh, what am I going to do now?
Maybe I'd better stay out of trouble and just watch you all.

Kaname:
No, it should be okay.
I think it looks good on you.

Testarossa:
Oh, really? Thank goodness.
Then, I'm sure Mr. Sagara will be pleased with it too.

Kaname:
So, you're gonna be all right?

Testarossa:
What do you mean?

Kaname:
You're so uncoordinated you'd trip and fall just walking, right?

Testarossa:
I guess, maybe like once in a blue moon.
When it comes to swimming though, I can hold my breath for a long time.

Kaname:
You don't say.

Testarossa:
Here goes!

Kyoko:
She's not coming up.

Kaname:
You are kidding!

Kyoko:
You think she drowned?

Sousuke:
Out of my way!

Kaname:
Sousuke?!

Kyoko:
He landed smack on his belly.

Kaname:
That's gotta hurt.

Testarossa:
Here I am!
Hey, what'd you think of that?
If there's one thing I'm good at it's swimming.

Kaname:
Don't startle us like that.

Kyoko:
But now it looks like Sousuke is the one who's not coming up.

Kaname:
What?!

Kyoko:
You know, for some reason, he didn't look very well at all today.

Students:
Heave ho!

Kagurazaka:
Hey! Hey! Sagara!

Kaname:
Sousuke!

Testarossa:
Mr. Sagara!
It's all my fault.
Everyone, please stand back.
I'll tend to Mr. Sagara.

Kaname:
Ah, do you know how?

Testarossa:
Of course. I'm a submariner.
In other words, getting wet is my business!

Kaname:
Ew. Poor choice of words.

Testarossa:
Do not worry!
According to the US Navy First Aid Manual, a case like this clearly calls for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
It's what you have to do!
Clear the victim's air passage, then hold his nose and place your mouth over the top of his.
I'm embarrassed, but I can't stop!
Now, if you'll excuse me...
Mr. Sagara...

Kaname:
Now, just wait!

Testarossa:
What are you doing?!

Kaname:
Oh be quiet!
Stop taking advantage of the situation!

Testarossa:
It's mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!
Do you want him to die!?

Kaname:
He doesn't need any! He's been groaning ever since we pulled him out!

Testarossa:
No. You're hearing things!
Your psyche is so vicious and twisted. You'd rather see him die then...
Okay. Now let's play it safe around the water, everyone!
Was it something I said?

Kaname:
Don't think you can wrap this up like a PSA!

Kyoko:
Question, are Sousuke and Tessa actually old acquaintances or something?

Kaname:
Huh?

Kyoko:
I mean, I may be wrong but it seems he's been really concerned about Tessa.
Just look at him now.

Students:
Yeah, it's strange.
Uh-huh, it's anything but normal.
Yes, you're right.

Testarossa:
Let me tell you the story behind all this.
The truth is, my father, Ricardo Testarossa, and Mr. Sagara's foster father, Andrei Preminin, are old friends.
Because of that, from a young age, I often played with Mr. Sagara.
That's why... in my eyes... he's, well, really just a... a special boy!

Kyoko:
Uh-oh! Looks like Kaname's got a rival?!

Kaname:
What was that?!

Testarossa:
You're okay.

Kyoko:
Hey, hey, Sousuke!

Sousuke:
Yes. What?

Kyoko:
Tell me. Do you and Tessa really have a special relationship?

Sousuke:
Yeah... I can't be more specific but it's something that you couldn't even begin to imagine.

Students:
Oh, such boldness!

Testarossa:
Please, don't tease me like that.

Sousuke:
Tease you?
What's going on?

Kaname:
Don't ask me.

Sousuke:
Huh? Kaname?

Testarossa:
Oh, you really mean you'll take me then?

Student:
Yeah, come with us.

Sousuke:
It's me.
Lieutenant Commander Kalinin, what's going on?
Sir, I'm already at my wit's end here.

Kalinin:
There's nothing to explain.
Now I do sympathize with you, but...
Too slow! You can cut that time by five seconds! Try again!
So, anyway, please see that she's well attended to.

Sousuke:
But, sir! I can't do it alone!

Kalinin:
Don't worry. Sergeant Major Mao is on her way.
She should be arriving at the stopover in Hachijojima any minute now.
She'll arrive at your location this evening.

Sousuke:
That's definite?

Kalinin:
Take it easy tonight. That is all.

Sousuke:
Yes?

Mao:
Yeah, hello! Hey, it's me! Mao!

Sousuke:
Mao? What's your position?

Mao:
I'm in Hachijojima right now!
It looks like there's a typhoon approaching!
I'm afraid all the flights to Tokyo have been cancelled!

Sousuke:
What? Can you repeat?

Mao:
Cancelled! They've been cancelled! So I've gotta be spending the night here!
You take care of Tessa for me, okay?!

Sousuke:
Hold on! You can't...

Mao:
Oh, that's right! It's just the two of you!
You can jump her bones if you like!
You have my permission! Young lady-killer, you!

Sousuke:
Mao! You're turning your back on a fellow soldier?

Mao:
See ya! Good luck!

Sousuke:
Wait! Come in, Uruz 2! Respond!
Requesting immediate backup, Uruz 2!

Sousuke:
Kaname?

Kaname:
Yeah, what?

Sousuke:
This may sound strange but, well, if you wouldn't mind it, I would like to have you spend the night at my place tonight.
You see, the Captain will be with us... so together...

Kaname:
Not on your life.

Sousuke:
K-Kaname!

Kaname:
Why don't the two of you just go make out to your heart's desire?
Since you've got such a "special relationship," right?
See ya!

Testarossa:
Sorry to keep you waiting. Shall we go home now?
Mr. Sagara?

Sousuke:
They left me high and dry, didn't they?

Testarossa:
Hey, what's the matter?
Are you still not feeling well?
You look terrible.

Sousuke:
Why?
Why has she pushed me so far into a corner?

Testarossa:
Maybe you should be taking some kind of medicine for that, Sousuke.
Or should we go to a clinic and get someone look at you?

Sousuke:
Why does she cause me so much trouble?

Testarossa:
If it's too much for you to walk, I'll call an ambulance.

Sousuke:
Or rather, why am I so troubled in the first place?

Testarossa:
So go and rest in the nurse's office till then.
Are you all right?

Sousuke:
What is this... pressure?

Testarossa:
Pull yourself together! Come on! Hang in there!

Sousuke:
Why is she...

Testarossa:
Mr. Sagara! Can you hear me?

Sousuke:
I can't... go on...

Testarossa:
Mr. Sagara!

Sailor:
We've received word that Sergeant Sagara has collapsed.
Most likely from overwork.

Madukas:
What did I tell you? It was foolish to even think of entrusting her to a youngster like that.
Sergeant Sagara is an inappropriate target for the captain's affection.
Wouldn't you agree?

Sailor:
Ah, Sir.

Madukas:
Officers fraternizing with enlisted men set a bad example for the rest of the crew.

Kalinin:
Sousuke couldn't possibly make a move on her.

Madukas:
I believe I will have to raise a formal objection about this and other related matters next time without hesitation!

Testarossa:
Here you are!

Kaname:
Gimme that!

Madukas:
Of course, since the captain is a blossoming young woman, she's bound to make some mistakes in this regard.
However, even if you ignore that, there are still other issues involved.
Today's young ladies lack prudence, wouldn't you say?
I can't help but think that the problems plaguing society, education and the family are eating away at her.

Kalinin:
Sergeant, don't die on us now.


(次回予告)

Sousuke:
It's great to be a man.
I feel relaxed in the company of other men.

Kaname:
Don't say something that could be taken in the wrong way.
This is a hot spring.
You're surrounded by cute girls.
Show a little excitement!

Sousuke:
I've left that up to Kurz and the boys.
Right now I'm really crazy about this electric massager!

Kaname:
Next time, "A Goddess Comes to Japan, Part 2: The Hot Spring."
This time Shinji plays a major role.
Kazama fans stay tuned.

Sousuke:
If he has any.