Kyon: The SOS brigade was officially created by Haruhi in May. It's already June now. During that time, I was involved in an incident that's, well... it was like the world got a sudden case of leg cramps. All that aside, today's episode goes a little something like this.
Haruhi: Hey, you guys! We're gonna enter ourselves in a baseball tournament!
Kyon: Since the day of that incident, nothing really out of the ordinaries happened. We were enjoying our brief moment of peace and boredom as best as we could. And boy, was it a brief moment. You might be wondering why. Because when she turns on that smile of hers, somehow I'm the one who always ends up completely exhausted.
Kyon: What did you say we were gonna do?
Haruhi: We're gonna do this.
Kyon: Announcing the ninth All-City Amateur Baseball Tournament. And, who's gonna be entering this little sandlot baseball game?
Haruhi: You've got to be kidding! Us, of course!
Kyon: So, when you're saying "us", you're talking about everyone here including me...
Haruhi: Somehow we need to find at least four more people.
Kyon: As usual, if somebody's opinion's inconvenient, she doesn't even hear it.
Kyon: Hey, do you even know the rules for baseball?
Haruhi: Of course I know the rules. When I tried out for the baseball team, they gave me the rundown of all the basics. But I wasn't having any fun, so I hurried up and went home.
Kyon: Well, if you think baseball's so boring, why you wanna enter the tournament so badly?
Haruhi: Because it's our chance to show the entire world just who we are. If we win this baseball tournament, the SOS brigade will take on a life of its own, and it'll be known all over the world! It's a great opportunity, right, Mikuru? Isn't that a great idea?
Mikuru: Huh? But... but I... I will... uh...
Haruhi: Don't you think baseball is great? In fact, we're gonna shoot for the championship! We cannot afford to lose a single game because you know how I hate losing! You got that?
Koizumi: Well, I think it'll be all right.
Kyon: Don't smile like that and give in to her demands. Why don't you try disagreeing with her every once in a while?
Koizumi: Actually, I think this is much more sensible than walking around the city looking for aliens and UMAs.
Kyon. Uhhh. All right, when is this tournament supposed to happen?
Haruhi: It's this Sunday!
Kyon: The day after tomorrow?! Are you kidding?! Don't you think that's way too soon?!
Haruhi: But I already turned in the application. Oh, don't worry about it. It's all set! I put "SOS Brigade" as our team name. That's one thing I made sure of!
Kyon: That's for the other four players we need. You got any ideas on where to find them?
Haruhi: If I come across anybody walking around looking bored, I'll just grab 'em.
Kyon: The scary thing is she really means that.
All right, Haruhi. Just hang on a second. I think that Taniguchi and Kunikida might have some free time on their hands.
Haruhi: They'll do!
Kyon: It's true, Haruhi thinks of her classmates as objects. Okay then... let's see, we need two more.
Mikuru: Umm... if you don't mind I think I have a friend.
Haruhi: Perfect!
Kyon: Apparently, anyone will do. Hey, wait. Miss Asahina's friend? Okay, that's interesting. Friend from where? What time period?
Mikuru: Uh... it's okay, she's from this time... uh... I mean she's just a friend I met in one of my classes.
Koizumi: I know someone. It's an acquaintance who's been curious about our group for some time now, I'll have...
Kyon: I'll handle it, thanks.
Haruhi: Mmhmm... Now that that's settled, it's time for some intensive training!
Kyon: Intensive training? You mean right now?
Haruhi: Yeah!
Kyon: Yeah, but where?
Haruhi: Over there!
Kyon: So, all of us got roped into entering a baseball tournament just like that. Why you ask? The reason is very simple. It was because, well, Haruhi was... bored.
Haruhi: Hey, you guys! Can we use the field now? And we also wanna borrow your equipment.
Player:
Huh? What the heck are you talking about?
Haruhi: We need to have baseball practice, and we're also kind of in a hurry. So, would you get lost?
Player:
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Haruhi: It'll only be for a little while. Right, Mikuru?
Mikuru: Ah, uh...
Players:
Wow...
Kyon: Adolescence is so predictable.
Haruhi: For starters, we're gonna practice catching a thousand grounders.
Mikuru: Huh? Ahh!
Players:
Wow!
Haruhi: Oh, come on! The future of the SOS Brigade's riding on that ball! So get ready!
Kyon: This is the first time I've heard that our future was riding on such a tiny ball.
Haruhi: Okay, Mikuru. Here comes some more!
Mikuru: That hurts. No, stop...
Kyon: Miss Asahina, are you all right? Can you stand?
Mikuru: If you're too nice to me, it'll happen again. Please don't!
Haruhi: Damn it, you guys, get back to your positions right now!
Kyon: She's injured, okay?
Haruhi: Hmmm. Fine then. Next up, the baseball team!
Players:
Why do we have to do it?
Haruhi: All right, you guys! That's it for today!
Players:
Uh...
Kyon: (sigh)
Koizumi: Well now, that's surprising. Miss Suzumiya batted exactly one thousand hits.
Kyon: Frankly, I'm more surprised by the fact that you counted every single one of them.
Hm? Oh hey, Nagato. On the day of the tournament, I was wondering if it was possible to make it rain. You know, a big one that'll cancel the game with a rain delay.
Nagato: It is possible. But I would advise against it.
Kyon: Yeah, why is that?
Nagato: Any alteration of the regional climate could possibly have devastating aftereffects on the ecosystem of the planet.
Kyon: And about when would these aftereffects happen?
Nagato: Several hundred to ten thousand years.
Kyon: Then I guess we'd better not try to do that, right?
Nagato: Right.
Kyon: The day of the baseball tournament has finally arrived!
Tsuruya: Hahahaha. So you're Kyon? I hear an awful lot about you from Mikuru.
Mikuru: Oh, this is Miss Tsuruya. The friend I was...
Taniguchi: I'm Taniguchi. It's very nice to meet you.
Kunikida: And I'm Kunikida.
Taniguchi: Yeah, see when he asked me, I just couldn't turn down my good buddy Kyon.
Kyon; Oh, brother...
Tsuruya: So you're Taniguchi and you're Kunikida, right? I'll remember it now.
Haruhi: Kyon! Come over here for a minute!
Okay, what were you thinking, seriously? You're gonna make something like her play baseball?!
Kyon: Hey, don't go call my little sister or something. She's a person.
Haruhi: Yeah, well, she introduced herself as a ten year old fifth grader. I mean she's so sweet! I can hardly believe she's related to someone like you! This baseball tournament is open to the general public. It's not some crummy little league game. You are aware of that?
Kyon: Yes, Miss Haruhi. All the more reason to bring my little sister today, we really don't have a chance of winning. But since this is Haruhi we're talking about, once we win the championship by accident, that would be a pain. But if we have a fifth grader on our lineup, then we are sure to lose.
Haruhi: Humph! Fine, whatever. Guess it'll be a handicap. I feel bad if we won this thing too easily.
Kyon: She still thinks we can win this thing.
Kyon: By the way, has it occurred to you that you needed to decide the batting order and our positions on the field?
Haruhi: Oh, I thought about that already. Here, take a look at this! Two types--one for batting order, the other for field position. Oh, and I'm the pitcher and I'll be batting first!
Kyon: So you're saying, all you figured out was how we're gonna decide those things.
Haruhi: Yeah, and you got a problem with that? This is a democratic method. In ancient Greece, they picked numbers out of a hat to elect their leaders.
Kyon: Don't compare picking the batting order for a sandlot ball game in modern Japan to how the Greeks picked their leaders. Besides, you get to do whatever you want. How's that democratic? Whatever. All the more reason to go home early--I mean from what I hear, our first opponent is a team of college students, the Kamigahara Pirates. Apparently they're the favorites to win the tournament. And the game is called when one team gets a ten-run lead. So it's not too early to start packing up to go home right now.
Umpire:
Play ball!
Haruhi: Heh, you kidding? You call that a pitch? Come on, everybody! Follow my lead!
Mikuru: I'll try to do my best to the...
Umpire:
Strike!
Kyon: Uh.. why's he throwing so hard at Miss Asahina? If he hits her, I'm gonna charge the mound and deck that guy!
Umpire:
Strike!
Haruhi: Mikuru! Like this! You swing it, and bang!
Umpire:
You're out!
Haruhi: Damn you! Why didn't you even swing the bat?
Umpire:
Strike! Strike! You're out!
Haruhi: Yuki! If you don't swing, you'll never hit the ball! Kyon! You're batting cleanup! You better hit the ball!
Kyon: What do you expect from a cleanup hitter picked by a lottery?
Umpire:
Strike!
Kyon: Haruhi hit that thing to the outfield?
Umpire:
Strike two!
Strike three! You are out!
Haruhi: You idiot! What are you doing?!
Kyon: I've dishonored my family.
Haruhi: Let's take 'em out!
Brigaders:
Yeah!
Umpire:
Play ball!
Strike!
Strike!
Strike three! You are out!
Koizumi: Nice pitching!
Haruhi: Piece of cake. No sweat, guys!
Umpire:
Foul!
Haruhi: Ah!?
Kyon: She can only throw straight pitches through the strike zone. When they figured it out, it was only a matter of time. On top of that, our defense has more holes than an anthill in savanna. We're so toast. The fact that they only scored two runs off of us must be because the opposing team's goddess of victory is running late. I guess everyone wants to relax on a Sunday.
Well, the top of the second inning went by really quickly. And in the bottom of the inning, we gave up a few more runs. Looks like we'll be heading home next inning.
Tsuruya: Hm!
Umpire:
Out!
Tsuruya: Whew, that was hard! It's all I can do just to hit the ball with the bat.
Haruhi: Hmm... looks like I'm gonna be needing it after all.
Haruhi: Time-out, Ump!
Mikuru: Wait a minute... Miss Suzumiya...
No...!
Haruhi: Come on, hurry up! Get out of those right now and put this on!
Kunikida: You look....
Tsuruya: C'mon, can I take a picture of you guys with my phone?
Haruhi: I wonder if up in a ponytail would be better. Fine, cheer on.
Mikuru: I'm not really sure how to do this.
Haruhi: You do it like this! And yell as loud as you can! Yell!
Mikuru: Everyone, please meet the ball! I beg you to do your best out there!
Taniguchi: Yeah! I'll knock this sucker up!
Umpire:
Strikeout!
Taniguchi: Sand was in my eyes.
Haruhi: Don't sweat it. I wasn't counting on you anyway.
Umpire:
Safe!
Haruhi: Mikuru! Just make sure to hit the ball this time!
Tsuruya: Go for it, Mikuru!
Kyon: Miss Asahina!
Mikuru: Yahn!
Umpire:
Strike!
Haruhi: Mikuru! Like this! Like this!
Kyon: What is she doing? Looks like she's trying to reduce the magic points of the other team's pitcher or something.
Koizumi: Well, it seems to me that she's trying to signal for something.
Kyon: Did we ever decide on signals?
Koizumi: No. But I think that she's signaling for a squeeze play right now.
Kyon: She's signaling for a three-bunt-squeeze with two outs? Even the most senile coach in the league would make a better decision than that.
Koizumi: The chances of Miss Asahina actually hitting the ball are close to none. However, if we can catch the pirates off guard by going for a squeeze play, that normal people wouldn't think of. There's a possibility that one of their in-fielders might make an error. Or maybe she's thinking that somehow Miss Asahina might even hit the ball with the bat for once.
Kyon: Well, it looks like they figured it out now.
Mikuru: Huh?
Umpire:
Strike!
And you're out of there!
Haruhi: Mikuru, get your butt over here and get ready for some pain, girl! Take your punishment. Let everyone have a good long look at that funny little face!
Mikuru: Please stop. It hurts....
Kyon: Hey! numskull! It's all your fault for giving confusing signals. Maybe you should've tried to steal home yourself or something.
Koizumi: Things aren't looking so good anymore.
Kyon: I don't wanna hear it. But go ahead.
Koizumi: A closed space larger than anything we've seen before's starting to form. And it's spreading at an alarming rate.
Koizumi: It will continue growing. And you-know-whats will keep tearing things apart until Miss Suzumiya's mood improves.
Kyon: And that's happening just because we're losing? Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me.
Koizumi: You're still talking as if it has nothing to do with you. Believe me, you are involved with what's happening now, Kyon. Do you remember how we all had to pick numbers to determine the batting order for the day? As a result, you're batting cleanup.
Kyon: I'm not all that happy about it, you know.
Koizumi: That's not the point. Miss Suzumiya wished for you to bat cleanup, and you are. But that is not a coincidence. Because you're not performing like one would expect from a cleanup batter, she's feeling a little disappointed.
Kyon: Well, excuse me.
Koizumi: In any case, we should all try to play the best we can, so they don't go and call the game this inning. Because if the game ends here, you can say it's the equivalent to this world coming to its end.
Haruhi: Let's go! Damn it! Take your positions!
Koizumi: This inning, we need to hold them to two runs no matter what.
Kyon: Two outs, men on first and second, and we're down by nine. If they score another run, this game will be over.
Mikuru: It's coming this way!
Kyon: Gotta catch it, gotta catch it!
Mikuru: Wow, amazing!
Koizumi: Getting back to what we were talking about earlier,
Kyon: A little close there. What's up?
Koizumi: The other day, when you and Miss Suzumiya were stuck in that other world, I was wondering how you managed to get yourselves out of it.
Kyon: Do you have to remind me of that?
Koizumi: It's just that if you use that trick again, maybe everything here will start getting better.
Kyon: Forget it.
Koizumi: That's exactly what I thought you'd say. Very well, let's just go and win this game instead. After all, she shares the same concerns we do.
Mikuru: Miss Nagato is finally...
Kyon: What? Are you saying that something's the matter with her?
Mikuru: It looks like she's casting a spell.
Kyon: A spell? Wait, what are you talking about?
Mikuru: Let's see, um, that's classified.
Kyon: A spell, huh?
Nagato: Take it. I changed the elemental boost information.
Kyon: Elemental what?
Nagato: Homing mode.
Kyon: Wow! It's flying!
I see, homing mode, huh? Oh man, there's gotta be a limit to this.
Hm? This is great, but if we keep doing this, thing's gonna get ugly... in all kinds of ways.
Well, that should be enough.
Nagato: I see.
Umpire:
Strike! Strike! Strike!
Kyon: I had forgotten about it. But the first round has a ninty-minute limit. That means this is the last inning. If we can keep them from scoring, we win. Is it all right for us to win?
Koizumi: It is necessary for us to win. Thanks to all of our efforts, the expansion of the closed space looks like it's stopped, at least for the time being.
Kyon: But if they suddenly make a comeback, then that'll be the game right there.
It's a waste of time to think about how Haruhi's mood will turn out if that happens.
Koizumi: I've got a plan.
Kyon: Huh? Are you serious?
Koizumi: Yes, I am dead serious. It's the only option we have if we're to get through this inning without giving up too many runs.
Kyon: Oh, brother...
Umpire:
Ball!
Haruhi: Damn you! Be serious about this! If you lose, you're buying everyone lunch after the game.
Kyon: I know that. After all, the fate of the entire world is resting on my pitching. I guess the world's not worth very much.
Umpire:
Strike!
Kyon: Thanks to my mysterious ball, I named it myself. It looks like the world will be spared from certain annihilation.
Umpire:
St-Strike two!
You're out!
Kyon: In just three pitches, yet another batter struck out. And now it seems the last batter is at the plate, with two strikes on him.
Umpire:
Strike two!
Haruhi: Kyon! Wrap it up with the next pitch, ok?
Kyon: There was no doubt about that happening. Sorry about this, Kamigahara Pirates.
Player:
Yeah!
Kyon: Pick up the ball, Nagato! Pick up the ball and throw it!
Haruhi: Hurry! Hurry!
Kyon: Second base!
Haruhi: Over here!
What the...?
Koizumi: I'm terribly sorry. But you see we're not the typical team of athletes you're used to playing.
Umpire:
That's game!
Kyon: Thanks to Nagato's magical cheating, we were able to win the game.
Koizumi: What are we going to do about the game in the next round?
Kyon: I'm gonna feel bad for the Kamigahara Pirates if we beat them [to / in] the second round like we just did.
Koizumi: I'm really sorry about this. But I'm afraid I'll need to go and help my colleagues out in a little while.
Kyon: So we're gonna be short of players then.
Kyon: How about we forfeit?
Koizumi: Sounds like a good plan. After today, it looks as if it's a bad thing when Miss Suzumiya's bored. We should probably keep that in mind during any future activities.
Kyon: Had enough fun for today? Koizumi had to bail on us because he had something pop up suddenly. And to tell you the truth, my arms and legs are killing me right now.
Haruhi: I guess if you're all right with it, then oh well... Anyway I'm hungry. How about we all go and get some lunch!
Kyon: You got it.
Player:
Thank you... Thank you...
I can't thank you enough...
Kyon: No, it's nothing. See you around.
Player:
Wait! You know... that bat.
Taniguchi: I never thought about it, yeah man, I can play baseball pretty damn good...
Tsuruya: So you're Nagato, huh? I hear so much about you from Mikuru.
Haruhi: Eat up everyone! Kyon's treating us today! What a game, huh, guys?
Kyon: Oh well, thanks to the Pirates, I gained a little extra cash today. Kamigahara Pirates, I wish you luck.
Haruhi: Sorry I'm so late! So, which one do you think we should try next?! Soccer or American football? How many do we need to play each? Is the number of people we had last time enough?
Kyon: As I looked over at Haruhi's brilliant smile, I was trying to think about which sport would require less people. American football? No way! How about bowling?
I brought some tea.
Here you go.
Kyon:
Oh, thanks a lot.
Huh? Wow, it's really good!
Mikuru:
Here you go.
Koizumi:
Why, thank you very much, Miss Asahina.
Kyon:
The SOS brigade was officially created by Haruhi in May.
It's already June now.
During that time, I was involved in an incident that's, well... it was like the world got a sudden case of leg cramps.
All that aside, today's episode goes a little something like this.
Haruhi:
Hey, you guys!
We're gonna enter ourselves in a baseball tournament!
Kyon:
Since the day of that incident, nothing really out of the ordinaries happened.
We were enjoying our brief moment of peace and boredom as best as we could.
And boy, was it a brief moment.
You might be wondering why.
Because when she turns on that smile of hers, somehow I'm the one who always ends up completely exhausted.
Kyon:
What did you say we were gonna do?
Haruhi:
We're gonna do this.
Kyon:
Announcing the ninth All-City Amateur Baseball Tournament.
And, who's gonna be entering this little sandlot baseball game?
Haruhi:
You've got to be kidding!
Us, of course!
Kyon:
So, when you're saying "us", you're talking about everyone here including me...
Haruhi:
Somehow we need to find at least four more people.
Kyon:
As usual, if somebody's opinion's inconvenient, she doesn't even hear it.
Kyon:
Hey, do you even know the rules for baseball?
Haruhi:
Of course I know the rules.
When I tried out for the baseball team, they gave me the rundown of all the basics.
But I wasn't having any fun, so I hurried up and went home.
Kyon:
Well, if you think baseball's so boring, why you wanna enter the tournament so badly?
Haruhi:
Because it's our chance to show the entire world just who we are.
If we win this baseball tournament, the SOS brigade will take on a life of its own, and it'll be known all over the world!
It's a great opportunity, right, Mikuru?
Isn't that a great idea?
Mikuru:
Huh? But... but I... I will... uh...
Haruhi:
Don't you think baseball is great?
In fact, we're gonna shoot for the championship!
We cannot afford to lose a single game because you know how I hate losing!
You got that?
Koizumi:
Well, I think it'll be all right.
Kyon:
Don't smile like that and give in to her demands.
Why don't you try disagreeing with her every once in a while?
Koizumi:
Actually, I think this is much more sensible than walking around the city looking for aliens and UMAs.
Kyon.
Uhhh.
All right, when is this tournament supposed to happen?
Haruhi:
It's this Sunday!
Kyon:
The day after tomorrow?! Are you kidding?!
Don't you think that's way too soon?!
Haruhi:
But I already turned in the application.
Oh, don't worry about it. It's all set!
I put "SOS Brigade" as our team name.
That's one thing I made sure of!
Kyon:
That's for the other four players we need.
You got any ideas on where to find them?
Haruhi:
If I come across anybody walking around looking bored, I'll just grab 'em.
Kyon:
The scary thing is she really means that.
All right, Haruhi.
Just hang on a second.
I think that Taniguchi and Kunikida might have some free time on their hands.
Haruhi:
They'll do!
Kyon:
It's true, Haruhi thinks of her classmates as objects.
Okay then... let's see, we need two more.
Mikuru:
Umm... if you don't mind I think I have a friend.
Haruhi:
Perfect!
Kyon:
Apparently, anyone will do.
Hey, wait. Miss Asahina's friend?
Okay, that's interesting.
Friend from where? What time period?
Mikuru:
Uh... it's okay, she's from this time... uh...
I mean she's just a friend I met in one of my classes.
Koizumi:
I know someone.
It's an acquaintance who's been curious about our group for some time now, I'll have...
Kyon:
I'll handle it, thanks.
Haruhi:
Mmhmm...
Now that that's settled, it's time for some intensive training!
Kyon:
Intensive training?
You mean right now?
Haruhi:
Yeah!
Kyon:
Yeah, but where?
Haruhi:
Over there!
Kyon:
So, all of us got roped into entering a baseball tournament just like that.
Why you ask?
The reason is very simple.
It was because, well, Haruhi was... bored.
Haruhi:
Hey, you guys!
Can we use the field now?
And we also wanna borrow your equipment.
Player:
Huh? What the heck are you talking about?
Haruhi:
We need to have baseball practice, and we're also kind of in a hurry.
So, would you get lost?
Player:
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Haruhi:
It'll only be for a little while.
Right, Mikuru?
Mikuru:
Ah, uh...
Players:
Wow...
Kyon:
Adolescence is so predictable.
Haruhi:
For starters, we're gonna practice catching a thousand grounders.
Mikuru:
Huh?
Ahh!
Players:
Wow!
Haruhi:
Oh, come on!
The future of the SOS Brigade's riding on that ball!
So get ready!
Kyon:
This is the first time I've heard that our future was riding on such a tiny ball.
Haruhi:
Okay, Mikuru. Here comes some more!
Mikuru:
That hurts. No, stop...
Kyon:
Miss Asahina, are you all right?
Can you stand?
Mikuru:
If you're too nice to me, it'll happen again.
Please don't!
Haruhi:
Damn it, you guys, get back to your positions right now!
Kyon:
She's injured, okay?
Haruhi:
Hmmm. Fine then.
Next up, the baseball team!
Players:
Why do we have to do it?
Haruhi:
All right, you guys!
That's it for today!
Players:
Uh...
Kyon:
(sigh)
Koizumi:
Well now, that's surprising.
Miss Suzumiya batted exactly one thousand hits.
Kyon:
Frankly, I'm more surprised by the fact that you counted every single one of them.
Hm? Oh hey, Nagato.
On the day of the tournament, I was wondering if it was possible to make it rain.
You know, a big one that'll cancel the game with a rain delay.
Nagato:
It is possible.
But I would advise against it.
Kyon:
Yeah, why is that?
Nagato:
Any alteration of the regional climate could possibly have devastating aftereffects on the ecosystem of the planet.
Kyon:
And about when would these aftereffects happen?
Nagato:
Several hundred to ten thousand years.
Kyon:
Then I guess we'd better not try to do that, right?
Nagato:
Right.
Kyon:
The day of the baseball tournament has finally arrived!
Tsuruya:
Hahahaha. So you're Kyon?
I hear an awful lot about you from Mikuru.
Mikuru:
Oh, this is Miss Tsuruya.
The friend I was...
Taniguchi:
I'm Taniguchi. It's very nice to meet you.
Kunikida:
And I'm Kunikida.
Taniguchi:
Yeah, see when he asked me, I just couldn't turn down my good buddy Kyon.
Kyon;
Oh, brother...
Tsuruya:
So you're Taniguchi and you're Kunikida, right?
I'll remember it now.
Haruhi:
Kyon! Come over here for a minute!
Okay, what were you thinking, seriously?
You're gonna make something like her play baseball?!
Kyon:
Hey, don't go call my little sister or something.
She's a person.
Haruhi:
Yeah, well, she introduced herself as a ten year old fifth grader.
I mean she's so sweet!
I can hardly believe she's related to someone like you!
This baseball tournament is open to the general public.
It's not some crummy little league game.
You are aware of that?
Kyon:
Yes, Miss Haruhi.
All the more reason to bring my little sister today, we really don't have a chance of winning.
But since this is Haruhi we're talking about, once we win the championship by accident, that would be a pain.
But if we have a fifth grader on our lineup, then we are sure to lose.
Haruhi:
Humph! Fine, whatever.
Guess it'll be a handicap.
I feel bad if we won this thing too easily.
Kyon:
She still thinks we can win this thing.
Kyon:
By the way, has it occurred to you that you needed to decide the batting order and our positions on the field?
Haruhi:
Oh, I thought about that already.
Here, take a look at this!
Two types--one for batting order, the other for field position.
Oh, and I'm the pitcher and I'll be batting first!
Kyon:
So you're saying, all you figured out was how we're gonna decide those things.
Haruhi:
Yeah, and you got a problem with that?
This is a democratic method.
In ancient Greece, they picked numbers out of a hat to elect their leaders.
Kyon:
Don't compare picking the batting order for a sandlot ball game in modern Japan to how the Greeks picked their leaders.
Besides, you get to do whatever you want.
How's that democratic?
Whatever.
All the more reason to go home early--I mean from what I hear, our first opponent is a team of college students, the Kamigahara Pirates.
Apparently they're the favorites to win the tournament.
And the game is called when one team gets a ten-run lead.
So it's not too early to start packing up to go home right now.
Umpire:
Play ball!
Haruhi:
Heh, you kidding? You call that a pitch?
Come on, everybody! Follow my lead!
Mikuru:
I'll try to do my best to the...
Umpire:
Strike!
Kyon:
Uh.. why's he throwing so hard at Miss Asahina?
If he hits her, I'm gonna charge the mound and deck that guy!
Umpire:
Strike!
Haruhi:
Mikuru! Like this!
You swing it, and bang!
Umpire:
You're out!
Haruhi:
Damn you! Why didn't you even swing the bat?
Umpire:
Strike! Strike! You're out!
Haruhi:
Yuki! If you don't swing, you'll never hit the ball!
Kyon! You're batting cleanup! You better hit the ball!
Kyon:
What do you expect from a cleanup hitter picked by a lottery?
Umpire:
Strike!
Kyon:
Haruhi hit that thing to the outfield?
Umpire:
Strike two!
Strike three! You are out!
Haruhi:
You idiot! What are you doing?!
Kyon:
I've dishonored my family.
Haruhi:
Let's take 'em out!
Brigaders:
Yeah!
Umpire:
Play ball!
Strike!
Strike!
Strike three! You are out!
Koizumi:
Nice pitching!
Haruhi:
Piece of cake. No sweat, guys!
Umpire:
Foul!
Haruhi:
Ah!?
Kyon:
She can only throw straight pitches through the strike zone.
When they figured it out, it was only a matter of time.
On top of that, our defense has more holes than an anthill in savanna.
We're so toast.
The fact that they only scored two runs off of us must be because the opposing team's goddess of victory is running late.
I guess everyone wants to relax on a Sunday.
Well, the top of the second inning went by really quickly.
And in the bottom of the inning, we gave up a few more runs.
Looks like we'll be heading home next inning.
Tsuruya:
Hm!
Umpire:
Out!
Tsuruya:
Whew, that was hard!
It's all I can do just to hit the ball with the bat.
Haruhi:
Hmm... looks like I'm gonna be needing it after all.
Haruhi:
Time-out, Ump!
Mikuru:
Wait a minute... Miss Suzumiya...
No...!
Haruhi:
Come on, hurry up!
Get out of those right now and put this on!
Kunikida:
You look....
Tsuruya:
C'mon, can I take a picture of you guys with my phone?
Haruhi:
I wonder if up in a ponytail would be better.
Fine, cheer on.
Mikuru:
I'm not really sure how to do this.
Haruhi:
You do it like this!
And yell as loud as you can! Yell!
Mikuru:
Everyone, please meet the ball!
I beg you to do your best out there!
Taniguchi:
Yeah! I'll knock this sucker up!
Umpire:
Strikeout!
Taniguchi:
Sand was in my eyes.
Haruhi:
Don't sweat it.
I wasn't counting on you anyway.
Umpire:
Safe!
Haruhi:
Mikuru! Just make sure to hit the ball this time!
Tsuruya:
Go for it, Mikuru!
Kyon:
Miss Asahina!
Mikuru:
Yahn!
Umpire:
Strike!
Haruhi:
Mikuru! Like this! Like this!
Kyon:
What is she doing?
Looks like she's trying to reduce the magic points of the other team's pitcher or something.
Koizumi:
Well, it seems to me that she's trying to signal for something.
Kyon:
Did we ever decide on signals?
Koizumi:
No. But I think that she's signaling for a squeeze play right now.
Kyon:
She's signaling for a three-bunt-squeeze with two outs?
Even the most senile coach in the league would make a better decision than that.
Koizumi:
The chances of Miss Asahina actually hitting the ball are close to none.
However, if we can catch the pirates off guard by going for a squeeze play, that normal people wouldn't think of.
There's a possibility that one of their in-fielders might make an error.
Or maybe she's thinking that somehow Miss Asahina might even hit the ball with the bat for once.
Kyon:
Well, it looks like they figured it out now.
Mikuru:
Huh?
Umpire:
Strike!
And you're out of there!
Haruhi:
Mikuru, get your butt over here and get ready for some pain, girl!
Take your punishment.
Let everyone have a good long look at that funny little face!
Mikuru:
Please stop. It hurts....
Kyon:
Hey! numskull!
It's all your fault for giving confusing signals.
Maybe you should've tried to steal home yourself or something.
Koizumi:
Things aren't looking so good anymore.
Kyon:
I don't wanna hear it.
But go ahead.
Koizumi:
A closed space larger than anything we've seen before's starting to form.
And it's spreading at an alarming rate.
Koizumi:
It will continue growing.
And you-know-whats will keep tearing things apart until Miss Suzumiya's mood improves.
Kyon:
And that's happening just because we're losing?
Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me.
Koizumi:
You're still talking as if it has nothing to do with you.
Believe me, you are involved with what's happening now, Kyon.
Do you remember how we all had to pick numbers to determine the batting order for the day?
As a result, you're batting cleanup.
Kyon:
I'm not all that happy about it, you know.
Koizumi:
That's not the point.
Miss Suzumiya wished for you to bat cleanup, and you are.
But that is not a coincidence.
Because you're not performing like one would expect from a cleanup batter, she's feeling a little disappointed.
Kyon:
Well, excuse me.
Koizumi:
In any case, we should all try to play the best we can, so they don't go and call the game this inning.
Because if the game ends here, you can say it's the equivalent to this world coming to its end.
Haruhi:
Let's go! Damn it!
Take your positions!
Koizumi:
This inning, we need to hold them to two runs no matter what.
Kyon:
Two outs, men on first and second, and we're down by nine.
If they score another run, this game will be over.
Mikuru:
It's coming this way!
Kyon:
Gotta catch it, gotta catch it!
Mikuru:
Wow, amazing!
Koizumi:
Getting back to what we were talking about earlier,
Kyon:
A little close there.
What's up?
Koizumi:
The other day, when you and Miss Suzumiya were stuck in that other world,
I was wondering how you managed to get yourselves out of it.
Kyon:
Do you have to remind me of that?
Koizumi:
It's just that if you use that trick again, maybe everything here will start getting better.
Kyon:
Forget it.
Koizumi:
That's exactly what I thought you'd say.
Very well, let's just go and win this game instead.
After all, she shares the same concerns we do.
Mikuru:
Miss Nagato is finally...
Kyon:
What? Are you saying that something's the matter with her?
Mikuru:
It looks like she's casting a spell.
Kyon:
A spell?
Wait, what are you talking about?
Mikuru:
Let's see, um, that's classified.
Kyon:
A spell, huh?
Nagato:
Take it.
I changed the elemental boost information.
Kyon:
Elemental what?
Nagato:
Homing mode.
Kyon:
Wow! It's flying!
I see, homing mode, huh?
Oh man, there's gotta be a limit to this.
Hm?
This is great, but if we keep doing this, thing's gonna get ugly... in all kinds of ways.
Well, that should be enough.
Nagato:
I see.
Umpire:
Strike! Strike! Strike!
Kyon:
I had forgotten about it.
But the first round has a ninty-minute limit.
That means this is the last inning.
If we can keep them from scoring, we win.
Is it all right for us to win?
Koizumi:
It is necessary for us to win.
Thanks to all of our efforts, the expansion of the closed space looks like it's stopped, at least for the time being.
Kyon:
But if they suddenly make a comeback, then that'll be the game right there.
It's a waste of time to think about how Haruhi's mood will turn out if that happens.
Koizumi:
I've got a plan.
Kyon:
Huh?
Are you serious?
Koizumi:
Yes, I am dead serious.
It's the only option we have if we're to get through this inning without giving up too many runs.
Kyon:
Oh, brother...
Umpire:
Ball!
Haruhi:
Damn you! Be serious about this!
If you lose, you're buying everyone lunch after the game.
Kyon:
I know that.
After all, the fate of the entire world is resting on my pitching.
I guess the world's not worth very much.
Umpire:
Strike!
Kyon:
Thanks to my mysterious ball, I named it myself.
It looks like the world will be spared from certain annihilation.
Umpire:
St-Strike two!
You're out!
Kyon:
In just three pitches, yet another batter struck out.
And now it seems the last batter is at the plate, with two strikes on him.
Umpire:
Strike two!
Haruhi:
Kyon! Wrap it up with the next pitch, ok?
Kyon:
There was no doubt about that happening.
Sorry about this, Kamigahara Pirates.
Player:
Yeah!
Kyon:
Pick up the ball, Nagato!
Pick up the ball and throw it!
Haruhi:
Hurry! Hurry!
Kyon:
Second base!
Haruhi:
Over here!
What the...?
Koizumi:
I'm terribly sorry.
But you see we're not the typical team of athletes you're used to playing.
Umpire:
That's game!
Kyon:
Thanks to Nagato's magical cheating, we were able to win the game.
Koizumi:
What are we going to do about the game in the next round?
Kyon:
I'm gonna feel bad for the Kamigahara Pirates if we beat them [to / in] the second round like we just did.
Koizumi:
I'm really sorry about this.
But I'm afraid I'll need to go and help my colleagues out in a little while.
Kyon:
So we're gonna be short of players then.
Kyon:
How about we forfeit?
Koizumi:
Sounds like a good plan.
After today, it looks as if it's a bad thing when Miss Suzumiya's bored.
We should probably keep that in mind during any future activities.
Kyon:
Had enough fun for today?
Koizumi had to bail on us because he had something pop up suddenly.
And to tell you the truth, my arms and legs are killing me right now.
Haruhi:
I guess if you're all right with it, then oh well...
Anyway I'm hungry.
How about we all go and get some lunch!
Kyon:
You got it.
Player:
Thank you... Thank you...
I can't thank you enough...
Kyon:
No, it's nothing.
See you around.
Player:
Wait! You know... that bat.
Taniguchi:
I never thought about it, yeah man, I can play baseball pretty damn good...
Tsuruya:
So you're Nagato, huh?
I hear so much about you from Mikuru.
Haruhi:
Eat up everyone!
Kyon's treating us today!
What a game, huh, guys?
Kyon:
Oh well, thanks to the Pirates, I gained a little extra cash today.
Kamigahara Pirates, I wish you luck.
Haruhi:
Sorry I'm so late!
So, which one do you think we should try next?!
Soccer or American football?
How many do we need to play each?
Is the number of people we had last time enough?
Kyon:
As I looked over at Haruhi's brilliant smile, I was trying to think about which sport would require less people.
American football? No way!
How about bowling?