Baka and Test>1. Idiots, Classes, and the Summoner Test War

Narrator:
Welcome to Fumizuki Academy, a prep school implementing the world's finest and most unique systems.

Teacher:
All right, you may begin the test.

Narrator:
One such system is the Summoner Test War.
A battle between classes utilizing Avatars realized with state-of-the-art technology.
Another is classroom equipment based on the students' performance.
At the end of their first year, they take a placement test.
Based on the results, they are divided into six levels, the highest Class A through the lowest Class F.

Akihisa:
This is it, the placement test.
It's supposed to be way hard.
But I got this...

Mizuki:
Urh...

Akihisa:
Hm? Himeji?!
Hey, are you all right?
You don't look so good.

Teacher:
Leave this class.
And you'll be given a zero on the exam, no excuses.

Akihisa:
No excuses?! Are you serious?

Teacher:
I'm perfectly serious.
Staying healthy is a part of the test.

Akihisa:
Whatever! How is that fair?!
Come on, she's obviously sick, that's not her fault!

Mizuki:
Yoshii...

-- OP --

Mr. Nishimura:
You're late, Yoshii!

Akihisa:
Hey, Iron Man!

Mr. Nishimura:
My name is Mr. Nishimura.
Here! Take this envelop. It's for you.
It's the result of your placement test.
You'll belong to that class from this day on.

Akihisa:
Cool!

Mr. Nishimura:
Yoshii...

Akihisa:
Hm?

Mr. Nishimura:
I can tell you this now.
While observing you over the past year, I had a suspicion... well, that you might actually be an idiot.

Akihisa:
What?

Mr. Nishimura:
But when I had a look at your test results, I realized I'd made a terrible mistake.
I underestimated your talents, Yoshii.
You have completely shattered all my expectations.
You are, in fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the real deal, a genuine idiot!


-- Episode: Idiots, Classes, and the Summoner Test War --


Narrator:
Welcome to Fumizuki Academy, a prep school implementing the world's finest and most unique systems.

Akihisa:
How come I'm in Class F?
It's like the lowest ranked class.
Man, I thought I did better on the test.
I answered one out of every ten questions.
Huh?

Narrator:
Welcome to Fumizuki Academy, a prep school that takes pride in having the latest equipment.

Akihisa:
Whoa...
They've got workstations with reclining chairs...
Laptops?! No way!
Tell me those aren't free fountain drinks and look at all those snacks!
I wanna be in class A!


Akihisa:
Nasty mats, old pillows, short tables!
Is this supposed to be a classroom?!

Narrator:
Fumizuki Academy is ruthless.
If you want to have a better life in school, then you should do better in school.
That is the law of this academy.

Akihisa:
No fair!
This is violating my civil rights!

Mr. Fukuhara:
Well, at least you're not alone. Go ahead and sit down.

Akihisa:
Fine.
Where would you like me to sit, sir?

Mr. Fukuhara:
I don't care, wherever you want.

Akihisa:
There's no assigned seating?
Uh...
Excuse me, my cushion thing, it seems to have run out of all of its cushion.

Mr. Fukuhara:
Please put up with it.

Akihisa:
Excuse me, there's a draft. It's cold in here.

Mr. Fukuhara:
Please put up with it.

Akihisa:
Excuse me, one of the legs of my short table broke.

Mr. Fukuhara:
Please put up with it.

Akihisa:
Not possible!

Mr. Fukuhara:
Hahaha... I was just kidding.

Narrator:
Like I said, Fumizuki Academy is ruthless.

Mr. Fukuhara:
Okay, so yeah, I'm your homeroom teacher, Mr. Fukuhara.
I look forward to teaching you and all that stuff.
I'll be right back with some tools.
You guys just study or whatever.

Akihisa:
Man, this classroom is ridiculous.
How am I supposed to spend a year in here, talk about depressing...

Yuuji:
Don't complain.
You're the one who should've done better on your tests.

Akihisa:
Yuuji! I didn't know you were in here!

Yuuji:
It's not just me.

Minami:
Hey, what's up? I'm in Class F, too.

Akihisa:
Shimada! Of course it totally makes sense that you'd be in this class!

Minami:
Are you trying to call me an idiot?!

Akihisa:
Hold your breastless chest is forcing your ribs into my ears.
It hurts so much more than a normal chick!
Argh!

Kouta:
I can almost see it... almost...

Minami:
I grew up in Germany.
It's not my fault I can't read that stupid Kanji.

Hideyoshi:
You all are lively, as usual.

Akihisa:
Hideyoshi?

Hideyoshi:
Correct. Glad to see you.
Welcome to Class F.

Akihisa:
It's good to see you too.
Well, I guess this is what you'd expect from a Class F.
There's just a bunch of scruffy looking dudes everywhere.
Lucky us.

Yuuji:
Doesn't that include you too, though?

Akihisa:
That's true, but... if we would only have one girl, I'm glad it's you, Hideyoshi.

Hideyoshi:
Thanks, but I'm a guy.

Minami:
I'm the girl, you jerk.

Akihisa:
You just don't get it.
Girls are kind and graceful, and have this soothing spirit about them
that makes everyone feel good about themselves.
Someone like you who's violent and scary and doesn't even have any boobs and break my spine and now please stop you're gonna split me in two! Argh!

Mizuki:
Hello. I'm sorry I'm late.

Akihisa:
Uh...

Mizuki:
I was at the nurse's office. It took longer than I thought it would...

Akihisa:
It's Himeji...

Mizuki:
Ah... Yoshii! Hi!
How are you?

Akihisa:
I'm good. Thanks for asking.

Mizuki:
That looks kinda painful.

Akihisa:
Oh no! My spine is not supposed to bend that way!
It's not natural!
It's also not bending...

Kouta:
Here. So close...

Akihisa:
Call a doctor!

Kouta:
I... saw...

Akihisa:
Don't speak! Are you okay, Kouta?
Say something!

Kouta:
They were... Light blue...

Akihisa:
Stay with me!

Minami:
What a relief. I'm not the only girl in here.
Seats aren't assigned or anything, so we can sit wherever we wanna sit.

Mizuki:
Cool. Thanks for telling me.
So, um, is the seat over there taken?

Akihisa:
Huh? No, all yours.
This sucks. I can't believe you ended up in Class F.

Mizuki:
No. I kind of like that we'll get to study together, Yoshii.

Akihisa:
Oh, no, you're not still sick, are you?

Mizuki:
Yeah, a little...

Yuuji:
We've got this crap drafty classroom...
Cushion-less cushions...
Old worn out mats with dust and who-knows-what else...
Not the best environment to be recovering in...

Akihisa:
Hm...


Yuuji:
So, what did you wanna talk about?

Akihisa:
I was just thinking.
See, schools are like a weird social thing, you know?
There shouldn't be a non-equalness and a separationess among classes.
And besides, no matter what us, the lowest ranked students, say, we end up sounding like sore losers.
For fairness and justice, I think we should battle it out!

Yuuji:
Basically you're saying you want higher quality classroom equipment for Himeji.

Akihisa:
Why do you have to be so blunt?!
You can't just say crap like that! It's embarrassing!

Yuuji:
Whatever.
Actually I was thinking about starting a war myself.

Akihisa:
You serious?

Yuuji:
Yeah.
I thought we could prove there's more to life than whether or not you make good grades in school.
Plus... I think we can win.
What do you say? Wanna try?

Akihisa:
Yeah. We should do it!
Let's call for a Summoner Test War!

Yuuji:
Hey, guys, listen up!
As Class Representative, I have an idea.
I think it's time we challenge Class E to a Summoner Test War.

Hideyoshi.
You're kidding!

Minami:
A Summoner Test War...? It's suicide!

Narrator:
At Fumizuki Academy, there's a system called Summoner Test War, also referred to as ST War.
As long as an approving teacher is present, a student can summon their Avatar, whose offense power is based on the student's performance in a particular subject.
They fight using their Avatars.
If the battle is won by a lower-ranked class, they can exchange equipment with the losing higher ranked class.

Yuuji:
Now, I can't be the only one tired of this crappy class!

Everyone:
We are!

Yuuji:
Right! This is all we have to do.
Win a few wars, and Class A's awesome stuff could be our awesome stuff.

Everyone:
Wow...

Yuuji:
We're the lowest of the low, the bottom of the fricking barrel, guys!
We're just a group of losers, no one respects us because they don't even know we're here!
But what they fail to realize is that we have nothing to lose!
We have to try! We can at least do that!
And don't forget, we have this guy!

Akihisa:
Huh?

Yuuji:
Most people don't know the truth about him.
Guess what? He is a probationary student.

Akihisa:
It's not a big deal...

Yuuji:
Do you have a question, Himeji?

Mizuki:
Is a probationary student special or something?

Yuuji:
Yeah. Not just anybody can be one.
It's special treatment for a student who isn't very good at academics and doesn't seem to have any motivation.

Hideyoshi:
It's considered the same thing as "stupid."

Minami:
Uh-huh, pretty much it's someone who's completely useless.

Mizuki:
Oh, it really is special.

Akihisa:
Ah! I'll crawl under a rug if we have one.

Yuuji:
If we win in a Summoner Test War, we can have a rug, and more.
What do you say, you guys?!
Should we do it?!

Everyone:
Yeah!

Yuuji:
Awesome. Let's start this off by challenging Class E!
Akihisa! Since you're the ambassador for Class F, you have to officially go and declare war on them.

Akihisa:
Why me?
Aren't war declaring messengers from lower-ranked classes is normally given hell for it?

Yuuji:
No, that kind of thing only happens in the movies.
You're an important ambassador, they have no choice but to respect you.

Akihisa:
But...

Yuuji:
Listen to me.
This is an important mission. Only you can do this, man.
You wouldn't wanna let everybody down, would you?

Akihisa:
Mm-hm.


Akihisa:
You lied to me!

Yuuji:
I figured as much.

Akihisa:
You expected this?!

Yuuji:
I'm Class Representative.
Give me a little bit of credit here.

Akihisa:
At least pretend like you're sorry!

Yuuji:
Now, there's no going back for us. It's done.
Are you ready?
Isn't this what you wanted?

Akihisa:
Yeah, it is. Let's do it!

President:
Really?
The second year students are trying to call for an STWar on the first day of the new term?
How interesting. Approve it.

Ms. Takahashi:
I'll let them know immediately.

President:
I wonder how it'll turn out.
Guess we'll just have to wait and see.


Yuuji:
We'll use Mr. Hasegawa as the attending teacher for the war.
We'll need to secure him on his way to Class E before the fifth period.

Akihisa:
Mr. Hasegawa?
Does that mean the subject will be math?

Minami:
Sounds good to me!
I'm like way good at math.

Yuuji:
Yes. We'll use math.
Minami excels at it, so that can be our main strength.

Minami:
Are you any good at math, Mizuki?

Mizuki:
It's not my best but I'm not bad at it.

Minami:
Yeah, even maybe we can fight together

Yuuji:
No, she won't be able to fight.

Akihisa:
What? Why not?

Yuuji:
The scores on the last test we took are what become our Avatars' offensive power.
Stop and think about this for a second, the last test was...

Akihisa:
It was the placement test...

Mizuki:
And since I left the room in the middle of the exam, my scores are all zero.

Yuuji:
But once the STWar starts, she'll be able to take a recovery test to make up for it.
All she has to do is finish that test, then she'll be able to fight with us.

Mizuki:
All right.

Yuuji:
We're all counting on you.

Mizuki:
Mm, okay!


Class F's guys:
Mr. Hasegawa has been secured.

Yuuji:
All right, everyone!
Battle time! Let the war begin!

Everyone:
Yeah!

Hiromi:
Good grief.
For idiots, they sure are cocky.
All right, you guys. Get ready!
Let's teach F a lesson, they'll never forget!

Everyone:
Yeah!

Minami:
Minami Shimada! Prepared to fight!

Hideyoshi:
Hideyoshi. I shall participate as well!

Kouta:
Kouta Tsuchiya! I'm doing it too!

Mr. Hasegawa:
I approve this war!

Minami:
I'm summoning my Avatar. Summon!

Kouta:
Summon!

Hideyoshi:
I'm summoning my Avatar! Summon!

Why was my transformation so dramatic?

Minami:
They're coming!

Boy:
Be careful.
Real humans are not allowed to pass through that area.

Minami:
It looks like you'll have to get through us first.

Yoshiko:
Yoshiko Mikami, I accept this challenge! Summon!

Hello, good-by.

Minami:
Excuse me, but that's my line.

Yoshiko:
Oh no...

Minami:
When it comes to math, I won't lose against Class E!

Mr. Nishimura:
Those who died, meet me in the remedial class!

Minami:
Iron Man!

Hideyoshi:
Scary.

Mr. Nishimura:
In accordance with the ST War Rules, the remedial classes are required for all who have their score reduced to zero.

Yoshiko:
No, help me! I don't wanna take a remedial class taught by a demon!

Hideyoshi:
You wanna pass through here, you're required to defeat us first.

Hiromi:
Fine. Then I guess we'll just have to do that.

Class E's guys:
Summon!
Summon!
Summon!

Minami:
Bring it on!

Hiromi:
Humph!

Ms. Takahashi:
Well then, if you're ready, you may begin the exam.

Akihisa:
Okay, Yuuji. What's your big strategy?

Yuuji:
I don't have a strategy.

Akihisa:
What?

Yuuji:
The whole game depends on force, one classroom tries to rush and overwhelm the other.
And the class whose rep gets taken out of the war ends up losing.

Akihisa:
But there's no way we're gonna be overwhelmed, is there?

Minami:
There's trouble! We're gonna be overwhelmed!

Akihisa:
What?!

Yuuji:
Well, that isn't shocking, their score is better than ours.
If we keep fighting them like this, it's only a matter of time before we lose.

Akihisa:
Oh no!

Yuuji:
But they're only Class E for crying out loud, it's not like they're really that much smarter than we are.
It should take them a while to beat us.
And that time is the key to our victory.

Minami:
My score's dropping.

Hideyoshi:
Need to fall back, now!
If you don't take a recovery test, you'll die!
Go!

Minami:
Okay!

Minami:
I need to take a recovery test, please!

Ms. Takahashi:
Now understand the score of this exam will be your score the next time you summon your Avatar.
If you get a lower score, then you have now your Avatar will get weaker instead.
Are you sure you want to take the test?

Minami:
I am yes.

Ms. Takahashi:
What subject would you like to take?

Minami:
I want math, please.

I have to answer as many as I can to get a better score!

Kouta:
I can't fight any more.

Hideyoshi:
I got your back!
Or we could just take a strategic withdrawal!

Hiromi:
This battle is mine!

Class F's guys:
Argh!

Hideyoshi:
Not good!

Hiromi:
Attack them!

Class E's guys:
Yeah!

Yuuji:
Sounds like our defense line was down.

Akihisa:
This is bad, Yuuji!


Minami:
They're only numbers on a page, as long as I don't have to read Japanese, I've got this.
It's Kanji! I'll just have to skip this one and move on to the next question.


Mr. Nishimura:
Those who died, meet me in the remedial classroom!

Akihisa:
No, what are we gonna do now, man?

Hiromi:
Oh, is that all you guys have?
Looks like it's already come down to the Class F Rep.

Yuuji:
Wow.
The Class E Rep herself has graced us with her presence.
You seem confident.

Hiromi:
Who declares war on the first day of a new term anyway?
The difference between our two classes is still in the placement test scores.
You can't tell me you actually thought Class F could win.

Yuuji:
Well, you never know, right?

Hiromi:
Oh I see.
You really are an idiot that explains your test score.

Akihisa:
I don't know if you've thought about a strategy or not, but now would be a really good time for one.

Yuuji:
Oh, yeah.
You know, come to think of it, I did have a strategy after all.

Akihisa:
What?

Yuuji:
Come on, man. Why else would I have wanted to keep you here?

Akihisa:
Mm-hm...
Yeah, I get it.

Hiromi:
What do you mean?
Are you telling me he is a...

Yuuji:
That's right. Akihisa Yoshii is a probationary student!
Go ahead! Show them the kind of power you possess, Yoshii!

Akihisa:
Well, I guess it can't be helped.
After all, you have to deal with my wicked skills eventually.
Summon.

Yuuji:
The Avatar of a probationary student has a unique ability.
As punishment, they have to help faculty members with their chores.
So their Avatar can actually touch things.

Hiromi:
Ah...

Yuuji:
But that's not all...

Akihisa:
Ow, ow...

Yuuji:
Any injuries the Avatar receives are also felt by the Summoner.
See, isn't that interesting?

Akihisa:
I don't think so!

Hiromi:
Fine.
I'll go ahead and take care of the little guy first.
Summon!

Akihisa:
You won't win that easily. Let's go!

Akihisa:
Aw! I landed on the same spot! That pain in the pain!

Just what I'd expect from a Class E Rep. You don't totally suck.

Hiromi:
So what?
He is an idiot and useless.

Yuuji:
No way...
You just don't give him enough credit.

Hiromi:
Yeah, whatever you say, as Class Rep, I'm gonna go ahead and put an end to this thing.
Get ready.
I, Hiromi Nakabayashi, challenge Yuuji Sakamoto...

Mizuki:
Please wait!
Mizuki Himeji, fighting! I accept this challenge!
Summon!
Here I come!

Boy:
What's with her score?!

Girl:
Her power is like the Class A level!

Boy:
What's someone like that doing in F?!

Yuuji:
She's finally here.

Akihisa:
Himeji!

Hiromi:
Mizuki Himeji...?
Don't tell me you're in Class F!

Minami:
Yoshii!

Akihisa:
Hey, Shimada.

Minami:
She's like an out-of-control smarty.

Yuuji:
Not too shabby.
But I'm not the least bit surprised by it.

Akihisa:
How can her score get so high?!

Yuuji:
The school's exams have an unlimited number of questions, and so does your score as long as you can answer within the time allowed.

Akihisa:
Then you did have a strategy...

Yuuji:
I was buying us time 'til she finished.

Hiromi:
No fair!
Nobody said that there was a smart person in your stupid class.

Himeji:
We didn't, huh? Sorry. Here I come!

Hiromi:
Oh no...

Narrator:
And thus, this Summoner Test War ended with a victory by Class F.


Akihisa:
Awesome! That was amazing!
We couldn't have won if you were as stupid as we are.

Mizuki:
Uh, thanks. That's really sweet of you.

Akihisa:
I can't wait!
Now we get exchange our equipment with Class E's, right?
I mean it's not that great, but it's better than the crap we've got.

Yuuji:
Oh no. We're not exchanging anything.

Akihisa:
Huh?

Yuuji:
We'll just stick with what we've got.
Is that cool with you?
Or would you rather make the switch?

Hiromi:
No way. Seriously?

Akihisa:
What are you doing?! That's why we fought!

Everyone:
Huh?

Yuuko:
So is everything worked out?

Akihisa:
Why are you dressed like that, Hideyoshi?
I get it!
You've finally accepted who you really are.

Hideyoshi:
Um, Yoshii, I'm sitting right over here.

Akihisa:
What?! There're two of you?

Hideyoshi:
No, idiot.
That's my twin sister.

Yuuko:
I'm older too, by like three minutes.
I'm Yuuko Kinoshita, and as ambassador from Class A.
I hereby challenge F!
We're officially declaring war on you, losers!

Class F's guys:
What?!

Akihisa:
Why?! What did we do to you?

Yuuko:
Don't think we're gonna take it easy on you, either.
We'll crush you mercilessly.
You've been warned.

-- ED --

Mr. Fukuhara:
Question 2.
Name the plant that has a subterranean stem that sometimes is edible and is called "lily" in English.

Akihisa:
A sweet potato!

Mr. Fukuhara:
Please don't just focus on the word "edible."

Akihisa:
Next time, "Lilies, Roses, and Health and Physical Education!"

Mr. Fukuhara:
This will be on the test.