Asakura:
You want me to take you to see the nurse?

Kyon:
Hmm?

Asakura:
Good morning. I don't think she's feeling too well.
Take care of her.

Kyon:
So, why didn't you come by yesterday?
Thought you wanted to have a review session or something.

Haruhi:
Shut up.
I had a review session by myself, okay?


Kyon:
With a little prodding, Haruhi told me that after school yesterday, she'd gone back and walked the entire course we covered on Saturday by herself.


Haruhi:
It's hot and I'm tired.
When do we get to change uniforms?
I wanna change into my summer uniform now.


Kyon:
Suzumiya, I know I said this already, but why don't you just quit searching for these mysteries you're never gonna find, okay?
I mean, why don't you go out and have fun like a normal high school student for a change?


Haruhi:
What kind of fun does a normal high school student have?


Kyon:
How about you find a nice guy and go walking around the city looking for strange things?
It's a date, so you can kill two birds with one stone!

Haruhi:
Humph! Why do I care about "men"?
Romantic emotions are nothing but a passing phase--just a form of mental illness.
Heck, every now and then, even I get in the mood for dumb stuff like that.
I'm a healthy young woman, I've got needs.
Sometimes, I don't know what to do with myself.
But I'm not stupid enough to get stuck with all that grief, just because of some momentary urge to get all mushy.
Besides, if I went out and really started boy-hunting, what's gonna happen to the SOS brigade?
I mean, I just created the thing!

Kyon:
You could just change the brigade into some sort of random club that has fun, and you'll have a ton of people in it.

Haruhi:
No way!
I made the SOS brigade, because that stuff's totally boring!
I mean, I got a MOE character and a mysterious transfer student, so why hasn't anything happened yet!?
Oh, why can't a couple of weird things happen right now?

Asakura:
Don't go asking for trouble like that!

Kyon:
Ugh!

Asakura:
But then again, it might actually be kinda neat if something were to come along and turn our everyday lives into something more fun!

Kyon:
This is a first. I've never seen Haruhi this down.
Isn't her dejected little face cute though?

Asakura:
I wonder if Miss Suzumiya is in love or something.

Kyon:
Impossible!
Okay, Suzumiya falling in love, and/or something weird popping up to make her happy are two things that will definitely not happen any time soon.
Wrong. Actually, something weird was quietly lurking just around the corner...


Teacher:
Well, the Soga and the Mononobe didn't get along at all each other and ended up accusing...

Kyon:
That morning, as I talked to Haruhi, I was actually thinking about something else.

Teacher:
And now, without an enemy, Umako Sogano became tremendously arrogant.

Kyon:
Didn't something like this happen before?

Kyon:
Yo!
It was pretty obvious the handwriting wasn't Nagato's.
Besides, she's not really the type to go around putting messages in a guy's shoe locker.
Could it've been Miss Asahina?
Nah, no way.
She'd set a specific time to meet.
And I doubt she scribbled on paper torn out of a memo pad.

Haruhi:
Oh, it's so hot!

Kyon:
Haruhi, impossible!
She'd just grab me by the collar and drag me over to the stairwell just like the last time.
And Koizumi would just say "Hey, let's talk".

Haruhi:
We definitely need an air-conditioner.

Kyon:
Clearly, it's not a love-letter.
All I know is, it's requesting my presence at a specific location.
Wait a sec, maybe Taniguchi and Kunikida are playing some kind of joke.
Yeah, that's it. That's the most logical possibility.
Although, I'd expect more if those two were involved.
Wait! What the heck's that!?

Haruhi:
What? They're just pictures.
They're totally cute shots of Mikuru!


Kyon:
Yeah, I see that! What the hell are you doing with these!?

Haruhi:
I'm loading them onto the main page of our website.
Now, we'll get tons of E-mail about cool weird happenings!
Our site will get tens of thousands of hits!
The counter will roll so high, it'll be nuts!
I wonder if the counter even goes that high.
Wait! What are you doing, you idiot?!

Kyon:
I'm putting an end to this.
If Miss Asahina found out that the entire planet could see pictures of her wearing that maid outfit, in stunning poses, I might add, she would pass out on the spot.
Haruhi glared at me as I feverishly tried to explain to her why this was such a bad thing.
In the end, I don't know if she understood how dangerous it was to put such personal stuff on the Internet, where any creep could access it.

Haruhi:
Hmm. Fine, whatever!

Kyon:
She reluctantly agreed to trash.
Now, this would've been the time to delete all the photos once and for all.
But it'll be a shame to waste them...
There!


Haruhi:
That's it. I'm going home.

Kyon:
Huh?

Mikuru:
Oh! I'm sorry!
Did something happen?

Kyon:
No, everything is A-okay!
An evil conspiracy's just been vanquished.

Kyon:
Since we had nothing to do, I was playing Othello with Miss Asahina, when Koizumi came in, with that smile of his.

Koizumi:
Sorry guys, but I gotta leave early today to go to work.


Kyon:
I wonder what kind of job he's got.

Mikuru:
I'm gonna change, so don't wait for me.

Kyon:
Taking advantage of Miss Asahina's request, I bolted from the room.



Kyon:
Seeing her standing there caught me off guard, to say the least.

Asakura:
Why don't you come in?

Kyon:
It was you...

Asakura:
Yes. Are you surprised?

Kyon:
What do you want?

Asakura:
I wanted to talk to you about something.
Actually, it's a question I had.
It's about Miss Suzumiya.
What do you think of her?


Kyon:
Oh, brother. She's onto Suzumiya as well.


Asakura:
People always say that it's much better to regret something you did, rather than regret something you didn't do.
What do you think about that?

Kyon:
Well, I'm not really sure people always say that, but I think it means what it means.


Asakura:
Well then, let's pretend if you knew that if you kept things exactly the same as they are right now, you'd be completely broke.
And let's say that you just didn't know how you could possibly make things any better.
I wonder what you'd do about that.


Kyon:
I don't understand. Are you talking about the Japanese economy?

Asakura:
As a start, wouldn't you think about trying to change something, anything?
I mean nothing is going to change if you stay the same, right?

Kyon:
Well yeah, I guess if you're gonna put it that way.

Asakura:
Then you agree with me!
But you know, my superiors are extremely stubborn and lack any vision whatsoever.
But you can't have that kind of thinking out in the field.
If you just twiddle your thumbs, things'll go from bad to worse.
And if that's the case, wouldn't it be okay to force change to happen, when you know that it's all for the best?


Kyon:
What's she talking about? Is there a hidden camera in here?
Is Taniguchi hiding in the closet, laughing at me right now?

Asakura:
I'm getting bored and just fed up watching something that doesn't seem to be changing at all.
That's why I'm going to kill you and see how Miss Suzumiya reacts.


Kyon:
What the hell?! Is she serious?
Wait. Hang on. What just happened?
Why is Asakura coming after me with a knife?!
Whoa, wait a minute. What did she just say?
"I'm gonna kill you"? なぜ? Why?
Stop kidding around! You're gonna hurt someone with that!
Even if that's a rubber knife, you're scaring the hell out of me!

Asakura:
Do you think it's a... joke?
Hmmm... You don't wanna die?
You don't want me to kill you?
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand the concept of death regarding organic life form.


Kyon:
Okay, this isn't funny anymore!
I don't know why you're doing this, but please just put the knife down.


Asakura:
I can't.
Because whether you care about it or not, I really do want you to die.


Asakura:
It's useless.
Right now, I have the control of the flow of the data in this space.
Nothing can enter, nothing can leave.

Kyon:
I have no idea what's going on here.
If anybody understands, get the hell over here and explain it to me!

Asakura:
Oh please, won't you just give up?
You are gonna die no matter what, so let me kill you.


Kyon:
Just what the hell are you, anyway?


Asakura:
Uh-uh, I already told you it's useless.
Everything in this classroom is now under my control.


Kyon:
Wait, wait, wait!
What the hell is going on?!
She's gonna kill me to see how Haruhi reacts?!
Haruhi, Haruhi! Man, she is popular!
And if that's the case, then why am I the one that's gonna die?!

Asakura:
Silly me, I should've done this from the get-go.

Kyon:
I can't move!
Wait, that's not fair.

Asakura:
Your death is the perfect way to make Haruhi Suzumiya take some sort of action, you see.
Finally, I'll be able to observe a huge explosion of data.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Kyon:
Tell me about it!


Asakura:
Now you die!


Kyon:
Oooh, that hurts!
Wait, huh? I can move!

Kyon:
Nagato?!

Nagato:
There are flaws in your program.
Your data-shutdown and spatial blockades are faulty.
It is how I detected you, why I was allowed inside.


Asakura:
You'll stop me?
But if I kill this human, Haruhi Suzumiya is bound to do something interesting.
It's the only way for us to acquire more information.


Nagato:
You were supposed to be my back-up unit.
You are not permitted to act on your own.
You'll obey my orders.

Asakura:
What if I say no?

Nagato:
Your datalink will be terminated.


Asakura:
Would you like to try?
In here, I have the upper hand.
This classroom is a space where I control the data.


Nagato:
Commence request for datalink termination.

Kyon:
It was right about this time that I was thinking to myself; "Oh, man... these girls really aren't human."


Nagato:
Stay behind me.

Asakura:
You cannot defeat me while we are in this space.

Nagato:
Hostile interface name "Ryoko Asakura." Terminating datalinks to organic life form.

Asakura:
I'll stop your functions before that happens.

Kyon:
What the ... uhh!

Asakura:
How long will you last if you're protecting him while fighting me?

Kyon:
Nagato!


Nagato:
You need to stay right where you are. I'm fine.

Kyon:
Oh, no... you don't look fine at all.

Asakura:
With that much damage, I'm afraid you won't be able to interfere with any other data.
Well, I'll finish it.
Now you die!

Nagato:
It's over...

Asakura:
What's over?
Do you mean your life for the last three years?

Nagato:
No. Commence termination of datalink.


Asakura:
It can't be...

Nagato:
You were an advanced interface.
That is why it took so long to hack into this time-space program.
But it's over now...

Asakura:
You modified your program with a detonation element, didn't you?
I thought you seemed weak, but that explains it.
That's the reason you used all of your attack data when we started to fight.
Oh, this is a shame...
I guess I really was just a back-up interface.
I thought this was my big chance to get something to finally happen around here.
I guess I lost.
Aren't you happy you get to keep living?
But please be careful though.
The Data Integration Thought Entity has more interfaces that are just like me.
Someday, you might meet another interface that also seeks radical change.
Or perhaps, the one pulling Nagato's strings will change his mind.
Till then, enjoy your life with Miss Suzumiya.
Good-bye!

Kyon:
Hey Nagato, hang on!
I'll get some help.


Nagato:
No, my physical injuries are not critical.
This space needs to be corrected before I do anything else.
The corrupt data must be removed and the classroom rebuilt.

Kyon:
Are you sure you're really okay?

Nagato:
All processing power is engaged with manipulating and overriding data.
This interface will be repaired shortly after.
Repair in progress.
Ah...

Kyon:
What's wrong?

Nagato:
I forgot to re-create the glasses...


Kyon:
Actually, I think you look cuter without those things.
I don't really have a glasses fetish, anyway.


Nagato:
What is the glasses fetish?


Kyon:
Uhmmm... It's nothing! Never mind. Just forget it.

Nagato:
I see...


Taniguchi:
What is up...?
I FO FO FORGOT my bag...
Ah Arrrgh!


Kyon:
Mom, Dad, if you saw how Nagato and me are positioned in a frame, I know you'd think we were getting it on right now.

Taniguchi:
Okay. Take your time!

Nagato:
Interesting human...


Kyon:
Oh man, what are we gonna do?


Nagato:
Leave it to me.
I'm adept at controlling data.
I'll make it so Asakura suddenly transfers.


Kyon:
No! Not that!
Okay, I need to calm down now.
As for the last ten minutes, I think it's safe to say I experienced something extraordinary.
This isn't a problem about whether or not I believe that crazy story Nagato told me the other day, or any of her other delusions?
No... what happened just now made me realize what real danger feels like.
I was five seconds away from dying!
There's no longer any doubt in my mind that Nagato is an alien, or is at least involved with aliens in some fashion.

Kyon:
The next day, Ryoko Asakura was mysteriously absent from class.

Teacher:
Okay, about Miss Asakura, her father's job switched offices.
Almost overnight, it seems. She transferred out.

Student:
Where did she transfer out?!

Haruhi:
Huh?! Kyon, hear that? A mystery!

Kyon:
Filled with boundless energy, Haruhi had that glimmer in her eye again.
What should I do? Should I tell her the truth?
No way. Actually, I don't wanna tell her.
I keep hoping that everything I saw was just a hallucination.

Haruhi:
This is too good to be true. First, a mysterious student transfers in, now a girl mysteriously transfers out!
We are so investigating this.

Kyon:
Right now, I can't deal with the extra work.
I have another matter--a pending inquiry, if you will, that I'm mulling over.

Haruhi:
Hm, what's with you?

Kyon:
It's nothing.
Today's communique was conveniently housed within an envelope.
I found it in my shoe locker just like the note from yesterday.
I mean, seriously, is putting notes in people's shoe lockers some new trend?
Well, the thing is, this time around, it's different.
I have to be careful.
I don't wanna waltz in there just to face another life-or-death situation.
It doesn't matter though, 'cause I'm going anyway.
I mean, Miss Asahina wants to see me in private.
Now, I don't have any proof that Miss Asahina actually sent this letter.
But I know in my gut that she did, okay?
She's definitely the type who'd send little notes to people.
And the image I'm seeing of her scribbling away on super cute stationary fits her personality to a T.
Besides, it's the clubroom. Nagato's gonna be there.
Well, here goes nothing.

Mikuru(big):
Ah, come in!
Hi, Kyon.
It's been ages.


Kyon:
She sure looks like Miss Asahina, but she definitely is NOT Miss Asahina.
Um... are you Miss Asahina's big sister?

Mikuru(big):
But it's me, Kyon.
I'm Mikuru Asahina.
I'm the me from the future that's a little further down from the me you know right now.
I wanted to see you.
Hey! You don't trust me?
Okay, this will prove it.
See, I've got a tiny star-shaped mole right here.
It's not a fake mole, either.
Wanna touch it?


Kyon:
SUPER SIZE ME!

Mikuru(big):
You believe me now?

Kyon:
Whether I believe or not, I don't recall where Miss Asahina keeps some moles.
The only time I was able to see that much of her body was when she was cos-playing as a bunny girl.
And the other time when I peeked in when she changed, which wasn't my fault!
I never saw any moles because I never made it a point to go looking for them.


Mikuru(big):
Oh? Well, I remember that you were the one who told me that I had a mole here.
I didn't even know I had one there until you....
Ah! I.... just... Oh no... this is before we...
Oh, what have I done?!
I totally screwed up just now.
I'm sorry, Kyon--just forget everything I said, Okay?

Kyon:
Easy for you to say...
It's all right, really. I believe you, I do.
The truth is, with everything that's going on, I'm in the right frame of mind to believe just about anything today.
Wait, if you're standing here, that means there's two Miss Asahinas in the same time-plane, right?

Mikuru(big):
Um... right.
The past... I mean the me from the past, the younger me, right now she's eating lunch in my old classroom with all her classmates.
There's something important I had to tell you.
So I pulled some strings, and they finally let me come back to this time-plane again.
If you're wondering, I asked Miss Nagato to step out for a bit.

Kyon:
Wait, Miss Asahina, you know about Nagato.

Mikuru(big):
Sorry, that's classified.
Wow, it's been forever since I last said that!

Kyon:
Funny, I heard you say that a couple of days ago.

Mikuru(big):
I won't be able to stay here much longer.
So listen, 'cause this is important.
Do you know the story of Snow White?


Kyon:
Uh, yeah... sure I do.


Mikuru(big):
From now on, if you ever find yourself in danger, I want you to remember those words.
Can you do that?

Kyon:
Okay, the seven dwarves, the wicked witch, the poison apple and all that stuff?

Mikuru(big):
That's right. The story about Snow White.


Kyon:
Well, if you're talking about serious danger, I just had some of that yesterday.

Mikuru(big):
That's not the one I'm talking about.
It's worse.
Let's see... I can't give you any details, but when the time comes, Miss Suzumiya should be at your side.

Kyon:
Huh? You mean me and Haruhi?
What's gonna happen?


Mikuru(big):
When it does happen, Miss Suzumiya probably won't consider the event to be all that dangerous.
But it will be.
And not just for you and her, but for all of us--so just keep that in mind.

Kyon:
Oh come on, can't you give me any more details?
Is that classified, too?


Mikuru(big):
I am sorry, but I thought that if I'd at least give you a hint, this is the best I can do.

Kyon:
So that's why you're telling me about Snow White?

Mikuru(big):
Yeah...

Kyon:
Okay. I'll try to remember.

Mikuru(big):
I'm amazed I can wear something like this.
It's out of the question now.

Kyon:
Well then, can you tell me what other kinds of outfits Haruhi made you wear?

Mikuru(big):
That's a secret. It's just too embarrassing!
Besides, you'll find out soon enough.
Well, I better go...
Something else I need to tell you--don't get too friendly with me, okay?

Kyon:
Wait! I just wanna know something.
Miss Asahina, how old are you right now?

Mikuru(big):
That's classified.

Kyon:
That was a smile that would make anyone who saw it fall in love.


Mikuru(big):
It's been ages.

Kyon:
In other words, the high school version of Miss Asahina is gonna return to her time in the future.
I wonder when that's gonna happen.
And how many years between the one that's in school with me and the one I just met.
From the way she looked just now, it could be three years, even five years.
Women change so drastically when they graduate from high school.
Better get back to the classroom.
Man, I'm really hungry.
Hey, you didn't happen to pass someone in the hall just now that looked a lot like Miss Asahina, did you?


Nagato:
The Mikuru Asahina from another time plane--I met her this morning.

Kyon:
I never asked you before--but, can you time-travel like her?
Can that Data thing time-travel, too?

Nagato:
I am unable to.
However, time-travel is not that difficult to accomplish.

Kyon:
I'd like some tips on how to do it.

Nagato:
Language cannot explain the concept, nor are you able to understand it.

Kyon:
Is that so?

Nagato:
It is so.

Kyon:
Then I guess it's my loss.

Nagato:
Your loss.

Kyon:
Nagato, thanks again for yesterday.

Nagato:
Don't thank me.
Asakura's abnormal behavior was my responsibility.
I failed.


Kyon:
I really think you look better without glasses.

Haruhi:
Where were you!?
I thought you'd be back! I was waiting and didn't even eat lunch!

Kyon:
Could you say that again, but like you,re an old friend who's embarrassed and only acting angry?

Haruhi:
Stop being an idiot, and come with me, right now!

Haruhi:
I went to the teacher's lounge and asked Okabe.
Get this--no one knew that Asakura was transferring until this morning.
Apparently, someone claiming to be her father called in and just said they were moving away.
Just like that!
You wanna know where they are moving to?
Canada! Can you believe that!?
Something's fishy here.

Kyon:
You think?

Haruhi:
There's more!
I asked for the contact info in Canada.
You know what they told me?
"Sorry, we don't have that information."
At the very least, you'd tell someone your new address.
I'm sure something funny's going on.

Kyon:
No, there isn't.

Haruhi:
I kept at my interrogations until I got Asakura's old address.
After school, I'm going straight over there!
I'll crack this thing wide open!

Kyon:
Still the same.
She never listens to anything.
And I won't stop her.
Hey, Haruhi is the one who's wasting her time with this--not me.

Haruhi:
And you're coming too!

Kyon:
Why me?!

Haruhi:
And you call yourself a member of the SOS brigade!