Dean:
I'm happy to say that your daughter's future here at Ouran Academy is assured.
Her test scores are nothing short of brilliant.

Ranka:
That's the trouble.
She's too smart for her own good.
She insisted in going through the entire application process without my help.
After she aced the entrance exams, she even tried to persuade me not to come with her today.
Can you imagine?

Dean:
Is that right?
Ms. Fujioka, would you mind if your father and I spoke privately?
You are more than welcomed to explore the grounds if you like.
Of course, most of the students are gone for spring break, but you might make some new friends, even so.

Ranka:
Go on, sweetheart.
Let daddy and the nice dean here handle all the boring paperwork for you, okay?

Haruhi:
All right.
Thanks, dad.

Dean:
She's quite the independent spirits.
Children of her intelligence off and on, it must be lonesome for you.

Ranka:
I wonder if she'll enjoy herself here?

Haruhi:
A rabbit?!
But it's stuffed!
Hey wait!
Hold on a minute!


"Haruhi in Wonderland!"


Haruhi:
I'm okay.
Ow ow wowowow.
Oh come on.
This isn't fair.
Excuse me.
I've got myself kind of stuck in this thing.
If you wouldn't mind giving me a hand, I really appreciate it.
Hey, where are you going?!
Huh?
He disappeared.
Wait!
Please come back!
Where did that thing come from?
There's got to be some other way out of here, right?
Unless...
Female...
Banana?
Okay, so now I'm in a pool?

Kyoya:
You cried quite a bit, huh?
You must have to fill a pool this size.
See, this water is an accumulation of all the tears you shed in life.
It's rather impressive actually.
Looks as though you have been through more than your fair share of hardships.
Speaking of which, I get out of there if I were you.
It isn't safe.

Haruhi:
What in the world?
What were those things?
This place is way more dangerous than I thought.
Hang on.
Am I back to my original size?

Kyoya:
Not yet, but we can take care of that for you, if you're interested.

Haruhi:
What are you talking about?

Kyoya:
It won't be cheap though.
Ah, we have guests.

Nekozawa:
Yes, hello.
Mind if my little sister and I have a bit of mushroom?

Kyoya:
Of course, we can settle your tab at the end of the month.

Haruhi:
You know, I think you are the most shrewd caterpillar I've ever met.
What kind of stuff are you always writing down in that notebook of yours, huh?

Kyoya:
Oh, anything and everything.
That's odd.
You said always just now and yet you and I never met.

Haruhi:
Always?
Did I?
That's weird, isn't it?

Nekozawa:
I'm getting smaller.

Kirimi:
I'm getting bigger.

Haruhi:
I'm sorry.
That's not exactly what I had in mind of getting back to size.
Hey look!
That little baby is crawling away all by himself!

Kyoya:
It's not any of my business.

Hikaru:
Hahahaha.
Nice going.

Renge:
You may refer to me as duchess.

Haruhi:
Huh?

Renge:
That woman making banana soup over there is my cook.
And this worthless layabout is my cat.

Haruhi:
Pretty amazing cat.
I've never seen one smart like that before.

Ayanokoji:
Why do I have to be the stupid cook?!
It's not fair!
I quit!
You're always having fun!
I always have to play the villain!
Tamaki, you're an idiot!

Haruhi:
So, does this mean you're the baby's mother?

Renge:
Are you concern for the child?

Haruhi:
I'm just glad he found his way home.
It's the best thing for him.
Being with your mother is always the best thing.

Renge:
Well, I'm afraid I must be off now.
Would you look after him while I'm gone?

Haruhi:
For how long?

Renge:
I couldn't say.
I've been summoned to appear in court.

Haruhi:
In court?

Hikaru:
You know, she's just pulling your leg.
That doll doesn't really even belong to her in the first place.

Haruhi:
Hey, what happened to...
Mr. cat!
Wait!

Kaoru:
Over here.
Pretty neat, huh?

Haruhi:
Um, sure, I guess.

Kaoru:
I can disappear.

Hikaru:
And reappear.
Anywhere.

Haruhi:
That's great.
So listen.
I'm a little turned around.
Do you mind telling me the best way to get out of here?

Hikaru:
That all depends.

Kaoru:
On where it is you are trying to go.

Haruhi:
Home, of course.
Back to where I was before.

Hikaru:
I'm afraid leaving here without an audience with the Queen.

Kaoru:
Is strictly forbidden.

Haruhi:
An audience with the Queen?

Hikaru:
You might say...

Kaoru:
That the Queen...

Hikaru:
Keeps close tabs...

Kaoru:
On all her subjects.

Haruhi:
This is ridiculous.
If you want to talk, come out and stand still both of you!

Hikaru:
Both of us?

Kaoru:
What do you mean?

Haruhi:
Never mind.


Kaneko:
I hope he comes back soon.


Haruhi:
Excuse me.

Tamaki:
No room.

Honey:
Yeah, no room left, sorry.

Haruhi:
Huh?


Tamaki and Honey:
There's no room.

Haruhi:
I got it.

Tamaki:
Hey you!
Don't just brush us off like that!

Honey:
We were only kidding.
There's plenty of room left!
See?

Haruhi:
Can I ask you guys a question about this place?

Tamaki:
Your hair is pretty long, huh?

Haruhi:
What?

Tamaki:
That's actually a rather good look for you.
Be that as it may, you still have to wear it much shorter in the future, you know.

Haruhi:
And why exactly do you even care about my hair?'

Honey:
So, you are wearing a skirt today?

Haruhi:
Yeah, well, believe it or not, I am a girl, not that it matters either way.
You know, if you keep scarfing down junk food like that, you're gonna get cavities.

Mori:
Be sure to brush your teeth when you're finished.

Honey:
Okay...

Haruhi:
So, I guess nose bubbles do pop.

Tamaki:
A riddle!

Haruhi:
A riddle?

Tamaki:
In what way are lean and fancy tuna alike?

Haruhi:
Aren't they the same thing?

Tamaki:
Incorrect!
They're not the same thing at all.
Even in your dreams commoners are still commoners.

Honey:
Hey!
Would you like a glass of red wine?

Haruhi:
Sorry, but the consumption of alcohol by miners is against the law.

Tamaki:
I guess getting her to play Alice was a bit of a stretch.

Honey:
She's just not feeling the part, still though.
She's kind of cute.

Tamaki:
Yes, she is.
It's always 3 o'clock here.

Honey:
Which means it's always snack time.

Haruhi:
So then where is this place we are in anyway?
I mean, a little while ago I was at Ouran Academy with my dad filling out the enrollment paper work.

Tamaki:
Riddle me this.
What do your father and I share in common now because of you?

Haruhi:
Because of me?
Wait.
This is Ouran Academy, isn't it?

Tamaki:
What will you do once you're enrolled?
After you enroll here, what will you do?

Haruhi:
What will I?
Study, I suppose.

Tamaki:
And what else?

Haruhi:
What else?

Tamaki:
Yes, is that all?

Haruhi:
Well yeah.

Tamaki:
What for?

Haruhi:
What?

Tamaki:
What for?

Haruhi:
See.
There's something specific I want to be when I grow up.
That's why I'm enrolling here at Ouran to prepare myself for a bright future.

Honey:
That's really sweet.
So, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Haruhi:
Well, my dream is to be...

Tamaki:
What good are dreams if all you do is work?
There's more to life than hitting the books, I hope you know.

Haruhi:
But I have to study to do well.

Tamaki:
That's all fine, but what about having a good time?

Haruhi:
Having a good time?

Tamaki:
Having a good time.

Honey:
Having a good time.

Mori:
Having a good time.

Haruhi:
Having a good time.
What was that for?

Tamaki:
The Queen is now holding court.

Haruhi:
The Queen?

Honey:
The duchess is scheduled to be executed.

Haruhi:
That's an outrage!

Tamaki:
One does not fight the Queen's whim.
Trust me.

Haruhi:
Well, I can't sit here and do nothing!

Honey:
Even when she's dreaming, Haru-chan is still Haru-chan.

King:
Duchess, you stands before us now accused of coming to loyal music festival by invitation.
Do you confess your transgression?

Haruhi:
What transgression?!

King:
Who disrupts this court?

Haruhi:
I do.
I'm here (for/as) legal council of the accused!

Renge:
With all due respect, your Majesty, it is my duty to attend the royal music festival.

Queen:
Even if it means leaving your precious child alone.
Your crime is not of question of attendance but of abandonment.
This act is unforgivable to cause such lonelyness in such a child.

Haruhi:
Your Majesty, the child wasn't abandoned.
When a mother has to be away providing for the family, her children know that she is doing it out of love.
Sure, they might get lonely from time to time, but they understand.
Besides, if you execute the duchess, how is her child any better off?

King:
Silence yourself, young lady!
There's no room for your emotions in this court room!

Haruhi:
But, that's impossible!
To pass judgement without emotion, you might as well just leave it up to a machine!

King:
Astounding insolence.
Tell me precisely how long have you been in the legal profession?
Are you even qualified to practice law in this court?
Are you not in fact guilty yourself?
Why don't we discuss your crime?

Haruhi:
What are you talking about?

King:
I submit one renaissance vase destroyed by you!

Haruhi:
That's the vase from earlier.
But it was definitely in one piece at the time!
I couldn't have been the one who broke it!

King:
A likely story, but if not you, then who's the culprit?

Haruhi:
I have no idea, but I've been telling you it wasn't me!
What the...
What was it?

King:
Witnesses!
Those [parting/party] to the crimes of this so called lawyer are commanded to come forward and testify!

Tamaki:
It would be my privilege, your Majesty.

Haruhi:
What are you doing here?

Tamaki:
This girl has what might charitably be called a drab approach to student life.

Haruhi:
What?!

Tamaki:
Schoolwork, schoolwork, schoolwork!
She won't let a slightest bit of fun [upset/offset] her routine.

Haruhi:
Oh yeah?
Well, at least I have a routine, Tamaki senpai!
What's going on?

Tamaki:
Now, how's it you know my name?

Haruhi:
Huh?

Tamaki:
My name.
How do you know it?

Girls:
Yes, how is it that you know his name?
However do you know it?

Haruhi:
How do I know?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Yeah, and somehow you knew we were twins?

Kyoya:
And about my little black book, less we forget?

Honey:
And about my cavity.

Mori:
How is that?

Honey:
How is that?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
How is that?

Renge:
How is that?

Kyoya:
How is that?

Tamaki:
How is that?

Haruhi:
Well, I...

Ranka:
Hasn't it sunk in yet?
You made a lot of wonderful friends here, Haruhi, now, haven't you?

Haruhi:
Dad, you're the king?
Then, does that mean...
Does that mean...
It couldn't be...

Kotoko:
You've gotten so big.
Where does the time go?
I'm sorry.
I made it so hard for you.
And so, now's the time to make up for that, Haruhi.
Don't be afraid to enjoy yourself, all right?

Haruhi:
Mom...

Tamaki:
Haruhi?
Wow, I don't think I ever see you doze off, before.

Kyoya:
Hurry up and get ready.
We have guests coming any minute now.

Haruhi;
You guys have way too much fun, you know that, right?
I have to admit it, though.
Around here, I can hardly even tell when I'm awake.


Tamaki:
Isn't this exciting, Haruhi?
The Host club is about to bask in the warm glow and full scale media coverage.

Haruhi:
Media coverage.
Don't you just mean the school paper?

Next time, "Covering The Famous Host Club!".

Tamaki:
The ouran host club will be waiting for you.

Host club members:
We'll see you then.