Men:
Young lord, we wish you good morning.

Kasanoda:
Aah.

Man:
Young lord, please return to us safely.

Men:
Please return to us safely.

Kasanoda:
Aah.

Man:
Young lord, have a good day at work today.

Men:
Have a good day at work today.

Kasanoda:
Aah!!
How many times have I told you?
I'm not going to work.
I'm going to school, you idiots.

Men:
Sorry, we got it mixed up, again!

Testsuya:
Young lord, what about your car?

Kasanoda:
Forget about it.
I'm going to walk to school, today.

Man:
Tetsuya, you gotta be more careful about how you speak to the young lord, all right?

Man:
Especially, because his glaring power's gotten even more scary.

Man:
What do you want to bet it's because he's got a beef with some stupid kid at school.

Kasanoda:
Today is the day.
Takashi Morinozuka.

Host club members:
Welcome to the host club.

Girl:
Tamaki, you're dressed as Ryoma Sakamoto, right?

Girl:
He's so wild and handsome!

Tamaki:
Yeah, I'm handsome and wild, and I'm gonna steal your hearts, pretty ladies.

Girls:
Oh!!
We love it when you talk like a Samurai, Tamaki!

Haruhi:
Why is he speaking Tosa dialect?
You know, I never would have thought that late-Edo era cosplay would be this popular.

Hikaru:
Come on, you can't be serious.
That's like one of the basics.

Kaoru:
There are plenty of girls that find the late Edo Era totally fascinating, particularly the Shinsengumi.

Honey:
And most of the girls who like it are complete maniacs about it.

Renge:
Are they popular because of the noble nature in which they sacrifice their young lives for their country?
Or could it be because of their stoic determination, their choice to live out their lives by the Bushido Code?
Or could it be...

Hikaru:
Don't die.

Kaoru:
I'm done for brother.
Let me go.

Renge:
That we're intrigued because the worship of this group of renegade young men is somewhat forbidden.
The Ikeda-ya Inn maybe well known but it's only because of Hijikata.
Just imagining him after the battle of Toba Fushimi.
His back to the north as he sorrowfully wandered the streets of his homeland intending to defending the honor of the Shinsengumi all by himself!
Oh!
I could eat three giant bowls of rice!

Haruhi:
That was one hell of a history lesson, Renge.

Kyoya:
Not having us cast ourselves in specific roles was good advice.
Allowing the guests just to be free to fantasize on their own was truly a brilliant idea, Renge.
I'm very impressed.

Renge:
I told you it would work, but you know, I think dressing Haruhi as Soji Okita was perfect!

Girl:
He is wonderful and the handsome, evanescent young swordsman!

Girl:
Haruhi, please don't die!
I couldn't handle it!

Haruhi:
They're having a sale on pork at the supermarket, today.
I hope I can make it.

Girl:
So, Mori has to be Kai Shimada, don't you think?

Girl:
No way, he's totally Yamazaki.

Girl:
I think it would be super cool if he was Soma.

Haruhi:
Mori senpai?!

Kaoru:
Why the sudden lunge?!

Hikaru:
You're not getting enough attention?!

Tamaki:
Please calm down, Mori senpai!
I know you're upset that you only have one line an episode.
We're 3/4 into the season and you haven't had your own episode.
Is that it?!
I'm sorry!

Mori:
No.
We have a trespasser.

Kasanoda:
Takashi Morinozuka!

Host club members:
A surprise attack!

Kasanoda:
Senpai, please take me on as your apprentice!

Host club members:
Huh?


"Mori-senpai Has an Apprentice Candidate!"


Kyoya:
Ritsu Kasanoda, 1st year Class D.
Heir to the 3rd generation head of the Kasanoda syndicate, the most powerful gang in the Kanto area.
He was admitted this year into Ouran Academy's High School.
He has long red hair, a mean looking appearance, is reserved and has a few friends.
It is said that if your eyes meets his, you'll have bad dreams for 3 months.
If you bump into him, you'll end up in the hospital.
And talking back to him sends you to an early grave.
He is so feared by his classmates that they call him the Walking Blizzard.

Tamaki:
Seriously?
But why would a human weapon like yourself want to be Mori senpai's apprentice?

Kasanoda:
Well because, look, I may be tough but I'm not a human weapon.
I was just born with a face that makes me look mean all the time.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Well, at least you're aware of it, Kasanova.

Kasanoda:
It's Kasanoda.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Bossanova?

Kasanoda:
I said it was Kasanoda!
Do you wanna die?!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
He really is mean looking.

Kasanoda:
Uh sorry about that.
This always happens because of the way I look.
I've always had this mean look ever since I was born.
Even when I was just a tyke, my dad would say...

Kasanoda's father:
Just you wait.
My son's gonna be the greatest gangster of all time.

Man:
Young lord, you gonna a rumble?

Men:
Young lord, you gonna a rumble?

Kasanoda:
So, ever since I was a kid, I've been taught how to be the Godfather of a gang.

Kasanoda's father:
Don't be too friendly talkin' to other people.
They'll look down on you.

Kasanoda:
Aah.

Kasanoda's father:
You've got it all wrong.
Aah!
See, now you give it a try.

Kasanoda:
Aah!!

Kasanoda's father:
Not bad.
Nice and gangsterish.
Now let's try this.
Ma.

Kasanoda:
That's not a gangster!
That's from that show something or other Robo!
When am I ever going to use that stupid catch phrase?!

Kasanoda:
My pops was a good teacher and he made me a true gangster.
That's great and all but everyone is afraid to come near me.
Even my fellows are scared of me.
So, I'm all alone.
It's like they forget I'm young and sometimes I just wanna play.
I wanna get out with my fellows and play a game of Kick the Can!

Tamaki:
A good game of Kankeri is awesome!

Kasanoda:
But I've been living the life of a gangster and I don't know how to interact with regular people.

Honey:
Oh, that poor guy.

Kasanoda:
Morinozuka senpai, that's why I need you to show me, how do you manage to have so many friends, when you're just as mean looking as me?
You're expressionless, distant, and you hardly ever talk.
Plus, you've got a mug that looks like a watchdog from hell.
So, how come you've got so many friends?
What are you doing that I'm not?
Please teach me your secrets!
I'm begging you!

Honey:
Hey Takashi, are you okay?

Mori:
I'm just a little lightheaded...

Hikaru:
What now Boss?

Kaoru:
Don't you think we should do something about this?

Tamaki:
Just leave him alone.
Don't get involved.
Like he said, he wants to be Mori senpai's apprentice.
So, that means Mori senpai decides what to do.
This isn't something that any of us should be interfering with.

Mori:
Tamaki...

Tamaki:
Well, in that case, since you insist, Mori senpai, I, Tamaki Suou promise you I will do whatever I can to assist you.

Haruhi:
Yeah, right.
He wanted to get involved so badly he couldn't bear it.

Tamaki:
Now lift your head, Bossanova.

Kasanoda:
Listen, it's Kasanoda.

Tamaki:
From now on you may adress me as King, okay, Bossanova?

Kasanoda:
That's not my name.

Tamaki:
Are you listening to me, Bossanova?!

Kasanoda:
Yeah.

Tamaki:
There are many differences between you and our beloved Mori senpai, but there is also one very definitive thing that you are lacking.
And that is a lovely item.

Kasanoda:
A lovely item?!

Tamaki:
Bossanova, I would like to introduce you to a lovely item named Mitsukuni.
Sure, Mori senpai may be kind of mean looking and he may seem distant when you first meet him.
But what if we put Mitsukuni on his shoulders?
Suddenly, it's like he's a forest Teddy Bear that all the animals adore!
In addition, this lovely item also plays up Mori senpai's strong and silent character.
Even without saying anything, just by placing Honey senpai next to him, people begin to have a new found admiration for Mori senpai.
Suddenly he's seen in a positive light as a nice, quiet young gentleman.
That's the plan.
I'm not exaggerating when I say most of Mori senpai's charm's directly related to his friend, Honey senpai.

Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Yeah, you're right.

Haruhi:
Now that you mention it, Mori senpai...

Hikaru:
doesn't really do anything.

Kaoru:
Yeah, his position is totally a bust.

Honey:
Takashi, have you really been using me this entire time?

Tamaki:
I'm sorry, but Honey senpai is on a long term lease to Mori senpai right now, so I can't let you borrow him.

Honey:
Is Tama-chan telling the truth?!
Are you renting me?!

Tamaki:
Don't worry.
I'll come up with something to take his place.
So, the next thing we need to discuss is your disturbing Yankee fashion sense.
Now, Hitachiin Brothers.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Sir!

Kasanoda:
It's your job to make this man more fashionable!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Roger!

Kasanoda:
Thanks for cleaning up, Tetsuya.

Tetsuya:
Oh, young lord, welcome home.
How was your...

Man:
Welcome home, young lord.

Men:
Yeah, welcome home, young lord.

Kasanoda:
Aah.

Tetsuya:
Young lord, what the hell's going on?
Something happen at school today?

Kasanoda:
Aah!!

Tetsuya:
Wait, young lord.

Kasanoda:
Damn it!
This is completely wrong, ain't it?!
Those jerks lied to me.

Man:
You're telling me that kid is the 4th head of the Kasanoda Syndicate?

Man:
So what are we gonna do now?
I mean, we can't go burstin' into their estate.

Man:
We'll get him at school tomorrow.
We gotta make sure that punk pays for what he's done.


Tetsuya:
It's getting dark out here.
Looks like it's gonna rain.
Oh-oh, that I hope young lord took his umbrella today.

Kasanoda:
Big brother Morinozuka, I just wanna just say good morning.

Honey:
Good morning to you, Bossanova.

Kasanoda:
Right back at you, Haninozuka sanpai.

Honey:
Back at you.

Kasanoda:
Borrow me to carry your bag to your classroom, senpai.

Mori:
That's okay, I can manage.

Kasanoda:
What the hell are you...

Girl:
Mori, you're not hurt, are you?

Boy:
You okay, Morinozuka?

Girl:
Who would do something like this?

Honey:
Hey, are you okay?

Mori:
Yeah.

Kasanoda:
Everybody loves him, even though he's scary looking.
Never mind that, I've got bigger things to worry about.

Tamaki:
Huh?
Somebody's out to get Mori senpai?

Kasanoda:
No doubt about it.
I was there.
I saw everything.
He's obviously gotten on somebody's bad side.

Hikaru:
Nah, that's impossible.

Kaoru:
There's no way Mori senpai would ever be on somebody's bad side.

Kasanoda:
How can you be so sure?
You don't know that.

Tamaki:
Don't you worry, your pretty little head about that.
Operation Bossanova's Total Image Makeover is in full effect as of right now!

Honey, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Yes, sir!

Kasanoda:
Hold on!
What the hell are you talking about?!
What do you mean you're starting right now?!
He's right now pretended that yesterday never happened?!
Thanks to yesterday's makeover, people were even more afraid of me than they're usually are!

Tamaki:
Now hold on a second.
Let me explain, Bossanova.
We all support you and we're behind you 100%.
Yesterday, the twins were just getting a little carried away.
I hope you'll forgive them.

Kasanoda:
They support me?
I'm sorry.
I will follow your lead from here on out.

Haruhi:
Hey Casanova.
Just thought I warned you.
I wouldn't put too much faith in that bunch if I were you.

Kasanoda:
Well, thank you, but Morinozuka recommended these guys to me.
Besides, I don't have much of a choice.
Without their help I've got nothing.
Hey, I don't think I've met you before.
What's your name?

Haruhi:
I'm Haruhi Fujioka.
We're both 1st years.
Just like you I was admitted when I got to high school.
I guess we're buddies.

Kasanoda:
Buddies?
So Haruhi, do you like to play Kick the Can?

Haruhi:
Well um, to be honest, it's not my favorite thing in the world.
But you know, it might be fun once in a while.
What is it?

Kasanoda:
He reminds me of a chick!

Tamaki:
Bossanova!

Kasanoda:
Yes!

Tamaki:
I think we've finally come up with something that'll change your tough guy image.

Honey:
A cat monster.

Tamaki:
That didn't work.
I don't know what went wrong.
Renge said that kitty ears were all the rage.
She said that they were perfect lovely item.
What could have happened?

Kyoya:
Be realistic.
Putting kitty ears on him isn't going to effect on how people perceive him.
He still looks mean.

Hikaru:
No kidding.
That was pretty lame, Boss.

Kaoru:
For real!
If you're going to take it that far...

Hikaru and Kaoru:
You might as well go all the way and make him a kitty ear maid.

Kasanoda:
Are you guys making fun of me?!

Tetsuya:
Sorry to bother you, but is the young lord Kasanoda in here?
So here you are...
Sir, it's no big deal.
You can do whatever you want in your spare time.

Kasanoda:
What?!
Do you think this is a hobby of mine?!
Damn it!
I can't take this anymore!

Tetsuya:
Young lord!
Young lord!

Kasanoda:
It's like they forget I'm young and sometimes I just wanna play.
I wanna get out with my fellas and play game of Kick the Can!

Haruhi:
Maybe, an image change isn't really what Kasanova needs.

Honey:
I think you're right.
I sure hope he realizes it soon.

Girl:
Kasanoda is always in such a bad mood.

Girl:
I know he's so scary.

Boy:
They say you can't look him in the eye.

Kasanoda:
Why am I always so...
Here you go.
I brought you some to eat.
Now let me see how that wing of yours is doing.
Hey, it's looking pretty good!

Haruhi:
is that a sparrow?

Kasanoda:
Oh Haruhi, what are you doing here?

Haruhi:
So what happened to him, your sparrow?

Kasanoda:
I saw it fall from it's nest the other day.
I could tell it was hurt so I took it to the vet.
They say he'd be fine in no time.

Haruhi:
Aww.
So, uh, do you mind if I feed it?

Kasanoda:
Go ahead.

Haruhi:
I'm Haruhi Fujioka.
We're both 1st years.
I guess we're buddies.

Kasanoda:
You know, this guy doesn't seem to be afraid of me at all.
He's got such big dark eyes and sparkly.
He really is like a chick.
Chicks are especially afraid of me.
Never had a chance to talk to a girl like this before.
Holy crap!
What has gotten into me?!
What the hell am I thinking?
Haruhi is a dude!

Honey:
Look out!

Haruhi:
It flew away.

Kasanoda:
It flew away.

Tamaki:
Haruhi, what happened?!
That's not blood, is it?!

Haruhi:
Would you calm down?
It's just a little paint.

Kasanoda:
Hey are you sure you are all right, Fujioka?

Haruhi:
Mm-hmm.

Man:
Let go of me you, bastard!

Man:
Damn it, you big behemoth!
You're playing dirty Kasanoda!
First you go and kidnap our gang boss' kid!
And then you make us deal with your damn muscle bound lackies?!
We know that you kidnapped the kid!
Just give him back now!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
We've heard enough out of you!
We'll shut you up!
Tie, tie, tie...

Kasanoda:
What the hell is going on here?

Honey:
Don't you get it?
See, Takashi wasn't on anyone's bad side.
These guys were after you.
Until we caught them, we decided not to say anything to you because we didn't want you to have to mess with them.

Kasanoda:
I can't believe it.
So you helped me?
But how come?

Mori:
We can tell who the bad guys are by looking at them.

Haruhi:
I should probably go back and change clothes.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Want us to come help you?

Haruhi:
Drop dead.

Tetsuya:
You dumbasses!

Men:
Sonny!

Tetsuya:
Shut up!
You've said enough today!
Don't you get it?
The reason I left was because I was sick of hanging out with the likes of you!
Now get lost!
Do you hear me?

Kasanoda:
Tetsuya, what's going on?

Tetsuya:
I'm sorry I've kept this from you, sir.
I'm Tetsuya Sendo.
I'm the son of the godfather of the Sendo syndicate.
But I've always been opposed to the cut-throat way that syndicate goes about handling its business.
One rainy day about a year ago my old man and I got into a fight and I ran away from home.
I've never felt as anxious as I did that day.
It was terrible.
I had nowhere to go and people who passed me on the street just ignored me.
They pretended like I wasn't even there.
And that's when I met you, Young Lord.
The second I saw you, I knew exactly what kind of person you were.
After that when I decided to join the Kasanoda syndicate, you kindly accepted me.
Young Lord, I know that you're more self-conscious and awkward than most people.
But I also know that you're more kind hearted than most people.
And it's not just me.
Everybody in the whole syndicate knows it.
They just don't say anything 'cause it would embarrass you.
I, Tetsuya Sendo realized that I wanted to become more like you.
That's why I cut off all ties to the Sendo syndicate and instead joined the Kasanoda syndicate.
I hope Young Lord that you'll allow me to remain by your side.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Your umbrella.
The weather was looking bad, so I figured you might need it.
We don't want our Young Lord catching a cold.
Everyone would worry.

Kasanoda:
Who would've thought...
Uh, I'll just keep that with me.

Tetsuya:
Yeah.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
What a great story!
It's so touching!

Kasanoda:
Oh, I should apologize to Fujioka.
After all, it is my fault he got paint on him.

Honey:
Haru-chan went back to the club room to change clothes.

Kasanoda:
Yeah?
Oh, thanks a lot.
I'll be right back.

Tetsuya:
Hey Young Lord!
Think we can play kick the can later?

Kasanoda:
Yeah!

Tamaki:
We did a good thing guys.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
What are you talking about?
We didn't do anything, boss.

Kyoya:
Don't any of you care that Kasanoda went to see Haruhi who is changing clothes?

Kasanoda:
Hey, Fujioka?
Oh maybe he's in the prep room.
Fujioka?
Hey are you okay?
I'm sorry about...

Haruhi:
Get out!

Kasanoda:
Ma...
Ma!!


Hikaru:
Bossanova is starting visiting the host club as a guest!

Kaoru:
And he asked for Haruhi every single time!

Hikaru:
Bossanova starts chasing after Haruhi...

Kaoru:
Do something, boss!

Haruhi:
Next time, "Tamaki’s Unwitting Depression!"

Tamaki:
Ouran high school host club does not need any male guest coming in next week!
You got that!