Tamaki:
Now you've done it.

Hikaru:
It's done, all right.

Kaoru:
But it wasn't our fault.

Tamaki:
What?
You idiots!
You're the ones who bumped into it, right?

Hikaru:
Only because Haruhi was running away.

Kaoru:
We're trying to catch her because we wanted to have some fun and dress her up in cosplay.

Tamaki:
So what?
We cosplay all the time!

Hikaru:
We weren't going with the usual host club costumes.

Kaoru:
We wanted to see Haruhi in bunny cosplay disguised as a girl.

Haruhi:
Disguised as a girl?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
You'd like to see it too, wouldn't you?

Tamaki:
I definitely want to see that.
What am I thinking?
There's no time for stuff like that right now!
I know what you're up to.
You're trying to distract me from the mess you made.
Get away from Haruhi, you punks!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
No way.

Haruhi:
Let me go!

Kyoya:
Excuse me, we don't have any guests at the moment, so I don't mind if you make a racket, but please be careful.
You don't wanna wake Honey senpai.

Haruhi:
He's a 3rd-year.
He still takes afternoon naps?
We are gonna have to tell him about the bunny at some point.
Let's just wake him up and apologize.


Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
No wait!
Don't get any closer to Honey senpai.

Tamaki:
Come back.
It's safe over here.

Haruhi:
What are you talking about?

Tamaki:
Honey senpai wakes up in a very bad mood after napping.

Haruhi:
Huh?

Tamaki:
Now this may just be a rumor.
But the Haninozuka family once visited a U.S. military base to give combat training.
Supposedly Honey senpai slept through most of it because of his jet lag.

Soldier:
Hey, master, are you doing okay?

Tamaki
Then, a soldier came in and carelessly tried to wake him up since he had been sleeping for so long.

Honey:
I'm still sleepy.

Soldier:
Oh dear god!

Tamaki:
On that day, he wiped out two entire platoons of soldiers and not just any soldiers, Green berets!
And I've heard we've had diplomatic issues with America ever since that day.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
How terrifying!

Tamaki:
And we've got a bigger problem.
Usa-chan was handmade for Honey senpai by his deceased grandmother.
You've seen the way he carries it around.
That little bunny is his most priced possession.
I can't imagine how he's gonna react when he wakes up and sees that his precious Usa-chan is ruined.

Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
He's gonna do to us what he did to those Green berets!

Haruhi:
You're exaggerating.
It's impossible for that story to be true.
I mean, come on.

Tamaki:
It is.
And there is other evidence that Honey senpai has an evil side to him.
Listen to this.
His blood type is AB.
How do you like that?

Haruhi:
Yeah, so what?

Tamaki:
But Haruhi, that means [he's] the same blood type as Kyoya!

Kyoya:
What's the matter?
Do you guys have problem with my blood type?

Haruhi:
Oh, those if you're watching with type AB, please don't take any offense to this.

Tamaki:
This is bad.
We have to do something quick before he wakes up.
Hikaru, Kaoru.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Sir.

Tamaki:
Go get you folks Cessna.
Fly to Osorezan, and bring back a medium.
We'll channel his grandmother and she can guide us through it.
We can make a new Usa-chan for Honey senpai.
Take this map of Aomori Prefecture with you.
Don't forget to bring apple juice, apple jam, and Nebuta souvenirs dolls!

Hikaru:
But we don't have that much time.

Kaoru:
We're used to your crazy ideas, but you should come up with something more practical.

Tamaki:
All right, how about this?
We'll send Usa-chan to the cleaners.
Haruhi, you are going to have to wear the bunny suit.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Yeah, good idea, boss.

Haruhi:
Forget about it!
I'm not wearing the stupid bunny suit.
It's not gonna work.
He'll know it's me.

Tamaki:
No, he won't.
He won't be able to tell the difference if he's just waking up from a nap.

Haruhi:
Well, then why don't you wear it, senpai?

Tamaki:
It won't be cute if I wear it!

Haruhi:
Yes, it will.

Tamaki:
Come on.
This is at least you can do.
Since we can't get another bunny xxx you have to step in...

He's awake.
We'll have to use a substitute.
We've got no choice.

Tamaki:
Aaaah!
Not my teddy bear!

Hikaru:
He's gonna come after us, next!

Kaoru:
Aah!
He's just wanted his bunny rabbit!

Honey:
Who's responsible for this?
Who got Usa-chan dirty?

Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Someone, help!
Mori senpai, don't let him hurt us!

Mori:
He wanted tea.
So, Usa-chan decided to have a drink.

Honey:
I see.
So that's why his face is all dirty, isn't it?
Hey, do you think he wants some cake, too?


Haruhi:
"Honey-senpai's Three Bitter Days"


Girl:
Honey, how do you like to have chocolate?
Mousse?
Bonbons?
Wait, I bet chocolate cake is your favorite, huh?

Honey:
Um... Let's see.
Well, I like them all.
I love anything, chocolate, Usachan, and all of you, ladies!

Girls:
Oh, he's so cute!

Renge:
Mitsukuni Haninozuka, otherwise known as Honey senpai, age 17.
Ouran academy 3rd-year, class A and a member of the host club.
Favorite things include cake, chocolate, and bunnies.
He's famous for his enchanting boy-Lolita characteristics.

Haruhi:
That was a close call earlier, huh senpai?

Tamaki:
No kidding.
I'm glad we settled that Usa-chan issue without any violence.

Renge:
Honey senpai's catch phrases include "I love candy" and "I love cute things" and well some find this charming.
I'm not quite sold on his cutie loli boy image.
It's not exciting enough.
It feels like something is missing in this character arch!

Haruhi:
Honey senpai, you can't keep eating nothing but sweets all of the time.
You know, you're gonna end up with a cavity.

Honey:
Oh, don't worry.
I always brush my teeth.

Haruhi:
Honey senpai, is it...

Honey:
Nah, it's nothing... 'kay?

Haruhi:
Let me just take a look in your mouth.

Hikaru:
Hold still.

Kaoru:
Honey senpai, please quit squirming.

Honey:
There's nothing wrong.
Quit messing with me.
Leave me alone.

Renge:
Yes, that's it, that's it.
That's what was missing.
It's moe.

Tamaki:
So is it a cavity?

Mori:
Yeah.

Cavity:
Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie!

Honey:
It's all right.
I'll be okay.

Mori:
Tamaki.

Tamaki:
Yes, you're right.
I'll take care of this.
Until Honey senpai gets over his cavity, I'm afraid he can't have sweets.
Therefore, we'll be supportive and ask that you kindly refrain from eating snacks in the clubroom until this ordeal is over.

Honey:
No, no, don't, Takashi.
Please don't take my snacks away.
You can't.
Don't do it.
What'll I do without them?
I can handle it.
Please don't take away my cake!

Mori:
No more cake.

Renge:
And that's how it all began.
One little cavity and suddenly Honey senpai's life became a living hell.

Girl:
Poor Honey-senpai looks so miserable.
It's a shame the host club banned snacks.

Girl:
It must be really difficult for him.
I hope this doesn't seem insensitive.
I know he's in pain, but...

Girls:
Oh, he's so cute!

Mori:
Mitsukuni, bag.

Honey:
I can carry it.

Mori:
Yes, you can.
Hand it over.

Honey:
I was just looking.
I wasn't gonna eat them.

Mori:
Really?
If you were just looking, then try this.
I'll keep the real stuff.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Oh man, that was rough.

Haruhi:
I can't help but feel sorry for him.

Hikaru:
You know, I had no idea that Mori senpai could be so brutal.

Kaoru:
You wouldn't expect it.
I thought his principles kept him from doing anything to upset Honey senpai.

Hikaru:
And to think that he could get his boss to go along with him.

Girl:
It's too bad, Tamaki.
I wanted to get you some of the chocolate specially made by our new patissier.
My family just hired him in from France.
But I can't share them with you, because you're not eating sweets.

Tamaki:
Do not fret, my princess.
For the president, I must abstain for poor Honey senpai's sake.
But eventually we'll be able to share chocolate together again.

Girl:
Oh the friendship you boys have is absolutely beautiful.

Tamaki:
I believe things will work out for the better this way, my dear.
I'm sure it's delicious but no chocolate could ever be able to withstand the heat wave of my love.
So it would all melt and go to waste.

Girl:
Oh Tamaki.

Hikaru:
Impressive, boss.
That was quite an act.

Kaoru:
Missing sweets, aren't you?

Tamaki:
Buzz off.
The club's number one priority is our guests.
All the matter is their happiness.

Kyoya:
You had better watch yourselves out there.
Don't give any sweets to Honey senpai, no matter what tricks he resorts to.
Oh, and incidentally, those instructions come from Mori senpai.
This isn't my doing.

Hikaru:
So is it just me or does he seem to be enjoying this?

Girl:
I just can't hide it any longer.
I have to get this off my chest.
I need to know what your feelings are towards me and if you'll accept my love.
Will you please?
Unless of course there is someone else.
Please tell me.
Is there someone else who is dear to you?
There is, isn't there?
I should have known.


Honey:
Look, Takashi.
My cavity is all better now!

Mori:
You sure?

Honey:
The swelling has even gone down!

Mori:
Has it?

Honey:
So, do you think I can have a piece of cake, just one please?

Mori:
You're not fully recovered yet.

Honey:
What are you ladies drinking?

Girl:
Darjeeling tea, it's really good.

Honey:
Yeah, what are you going to have to eat?

Girl:
Well, I was going to have a sandwich.

Honey:
Know what you need?
Some sweets.
That tea would go well with something sweet.
Like maybe some cake.
Come on.
What do you say?
Oh boy, oh boy!

Girl:
Well, it would be good with cake.

Girl:
It sure would.

Girl:
We're so sorry, Honey.

Girl:
But it's for your own good!

Honey:
W- wait!

Haruhi:
Honey senpai?

Honey:
Haru-chan, am I a bad person?
I just don't understand why God hates me.
What have I done?

Haruhi:
Okay, fine.
But only this once, got it?

Honey:
Is it a snack?

Haruhi:
Yeah.
Here.
It's the same color as chocolate.
Try it.

Tamaki:
He's gonna crack.

Kaoru:
Would somebody please talk to him?
He's scaring me.

Hikaru:
Ah!
He's headed for the candy!

Kyoya:
No need to worry.
We emptied out all the sweets.

Haruhi:
Kyoya senpai, you seem really chipper today.

Tamaki:
Aah!
He keeps doing that to my teddy bear!

Kaoru:
Well, there he goes.

Hikaru:
Three days and he gives up.

Tamaki:
Ah Honey senpai?
Somebody, help me!
He's eating my arm off!

Mori:
Mitsukuni, don't take this out on other people.

Tamaki:
You saved me.
I thought I was a goner.

Mori:
It's disgraceful.

Honey:
Takashi, you idiot!!
A little bit isn't gonna hurt me!
You're so mean!
You're such a hardhead!
That's it!
I hate you!
I hate you, Takashi!

Tamaki:
Honey senpai!

Hikaru:
Hey, Mori senpai.

Kaoru:
That was harsh.
Will you be all right?

Honey:
I hate you, Takashi! I hate you, Takashi! I hate you, Takashi!

Hikaru:
Wow senpai, it looks like he really got to you.
I don't know what's going on, but it seems like you're self-destructing.

Kaoru:
Maybe, Honey senpai wouldn't hate you if you hadn't have been so hard on him in the first place.

Haruhi:
It was on purpose?
Mori senpai, by any chance, have you been acting like this, because you're trying to get Honey senpai to hate you?

Hikaru:
Why would he do that?

Kaoru:
It makes no sense.
That would be like the end of the world for Mori senpai.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Why would he do it on purpose?

Haruhi:
Well maybe, because he was trying to punish himself.
I'm right, aren't I?

Mori:
Yeah, you are.
This was my fault.
Mitsukuni has a cavity because I'm careless.
Twice before his nap time, I forgot to make him brush his teeth.

Hikaru:
But that's not really your responsibility.

Kaoru:
He should know better.

Mori:
But if Mitsukiuni has to get false teeth, it'll be my fault.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Don't worry.
That's not gonna happen.

Haruhi:
Wow what a pessimist.

Mori:
I wouldn't be able to live with myself right now, if he hadn't thrown me down.

Kyoya:
Because he felt at fault, Mori senpai wanted some sort of punishment from Honey senpai to make up for his failure.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Well...

Hikaru:
While that certainly makes for a nice story and everything...

Kaoru:
It was just a little cavity, right?

Tamaki:
Well, there you have it, Honey senpai.
What will you do now?

Honey:
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry, Takashi!
I promise I won't forget to brush my teeth again!
I won't forget!

Renge:
A few days later, Honey senpai recovered from his painful cavity, so the host club decided to lift their ban on sweets.
And Honey senpai can greedily stuffed his face once more.

Haruhi:
What's with Kyoya senpai?
He looks depressed about something.

Hikaru:
Because Honey senapi's back to eating snacks again.

Kaoru:
All those sweets get expensive.

Girl:
Excuse me.

Tamaki:
Oh my, looks like we have a new guest, gentleman.
Are you a fan of Mori senpai?

Haruhi:
It's that girl.

Girl:
Oh Mori, I understand now.
I know who you feel so strongly about.
And it's okay.
I must say I find it a little surprising that it's Honey.
To think he's so special to you.
I don't know.
It's just so...
I can't explain it.
It's just so... yay!

Haruhi:
Huh!?

Renge:
Congratulations.
You've just taken your first big step into a brand new world.

Mori:
Mitsukuni, you've made a mess.

Renge:
That's right, ladies.
It's moe.
It's the greatest.
I just can't get enough of it.

Haruhi:
You know, even though this whole thing may look and feel just like a happy ending, I'm not sure everyone out there would think moe is the best way to wrap things up.

Girls:
Moe.

Haruhi:
Oh, good grief.


Haruhi:
Tamaki senpai, why are you wearing a silk hat?
And Kyoya senpai, why are you on top of the mushroom?

Tamaki:
You're not doing a very good job of keeping up with the storyline.

Haruhi:
Next time, "Haruhi in Wonderland!".

Tamaki:
The ouran host club will be waiting for you.

Host club members:
We'll see you then.