Clannad>20. A Hidden Past

Nagisa:
Aaaaah.
Hi, Okazaki!
What's up? Is something wrong?

Tomoya:
You weren't around, so I went looking for you.
Don't tell me you've been practicing for the play in a place like this every night?

Nagisa:
Well, not every night.
I can't really practice at home because if I sing or raise my voice, it'll bother the neighbors.

Tomoya:
All right, but try to be careful.
It's dangerous to be in a place like this alone.

Nagisa:
It's right by my house.
Even if something did happen, all I have to do is scream and Dad will come running.

Tomoya:
Yeah, but you're kind of dense, so I worry sometimes.

Nagisa:
Huh? I don't really seem that dense, do I?

Tomoya:
I thought it was obvious.

Nagisa:
I'm really shocked.

Tomoya:
Huh. You get depressed way too easy.
It's not so bad.

Nagisa:
It was a joke!
I've gotten used to it already - all your teasing, I mean.

Tomoya:
When you put it that way, it makes me feel kinda guilty.
Anyway, sorry. I guess I should watch what I say.

Nagisa:
It's fine.
Actually, please don't change!
I like you just the way you are.

Tomoya:
Sure. No problem.
Did you decide on what play you wanna do?

Nagisa:
It's the same one I wanted to do before.
I don't know the title, but it's a story I heard when I was young.

Tomoya:
So, what's it about?

Nagisa:
It's a story about a girl who lives all alone.
Because she's the last person alive.

Tomoya:
Huh?

Nagisa:
Nothing dies, and nothing is born in the world.
It's a tragic fantasy on a cold winter's day.


--- OP ---


The girl:
It's done.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

Tomoya:
A young girl living in a world that has ended...
Somehow I feel like I've heard of that before.
No, I'm sure of it.
Just can't remember when or where.

Sanae:
I'm useless!
Nothing but a burden to the bakery!

Akio:
But I love your bread!


第20回 秘められた過去 (The Secret Past)


Akio:
Ooh, screwed that up!

Tomoya:
Oh? What is it this time?

Akio:
I was recommending Sanae's bread to one of our customers and she said it was inedible.
Sanae overheard it and got upset.
We call this one a Rainbow Roll.
Feel the rainbow!

Tomoya:
I'm not really sure what that means.

Akio:
A girl living in a world that has ended?
Nope. Sorry but I'm afraid that doesn't ring a bell.

Tomoya:
Could you try a little harder to jog your memory?
Like, did you ever read Nagisa a fairy tale like that when she was little?

Akio:
Hmm, Nope, don't remember.
Why don't you ask Sanae.

Tomoya:
I see. All right, then.

Akio:
Hey, kid.

Tomoya:
Huh?

Akio:
I don't know what you're up to, but to tell you the truth, I don't like the sound of it.
So, listen. If you find out something strange, don't tell Nagisa.
Run it by me first.

Tomoya:
Why should I?

Akio:
Just do it.
Got it?

Sanae:
No. I don't remember anything like that at all.

Tomoya:
Come on, can you try to think back a little bit?
It might not be a storybook, it may have been something on TV.

Sanae:
It might help if you told me how the story ends.

Tomoya:
Nagisa said it was a tragic fantasy.
So I'm thinking it might not have a happy ending.

Sanae:
A tragic fantasy, huh?
I can't think of anything.
Besides, tragedies aren't really my specialty, so I can't imagine I told any to Nagisa.
It might be something she heard at school or somewhere else.

Tomoya:
Oh, I see.

Sanae:
I'm sorry. Isn't it something important?

Tomoya:
Well, kind of. I guess...
Something important...
I don't know why, but somehow I get the feeling it is.

Sanae:
Well, just because I don't remember it doesn't mean she never read it.
Maybe it's still lying around the house somewhere tucked away in a corner.
You could also look at the school library.

Tomoya:
Thanks, that's a good idea.
I'll try it.


Yukine:
Sorry, but I don't think we have a book like that here.
We don't have many children's books or picture books.

Tomoya:
It's a high school library, so I guess that's no surprise.

Yukine:
We have quite collection of plays and drama videos for high schoolers, though.

Do you think that might help?

Tomoya:
I appreciate it.
But I don't think it was originally a play or a performance piece.

Yukine:
I see.

Youhei:
Hey, Yukine, help me out!
I'm looking for a spell that can tell me which girl has a crush on me!
Do you think you can show me?

Tomoya:
Geez, we were talking about something serious here.

Yukine:
I've got just the spell.

Youhei:
Wow! For real?!

Yukine:
Ta-da!
First you form a little heart shape with your thumbs and index fingers, just like this.
After that you repeat "She loves me, she loves me not" three times in a row.

Youhei:
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
'Kay, now what?

Yukine:
For the last part of the spell to work, all you need to do is take a quick walk around the campus.
The first girl who talks to you after that is the one who likes you.

Youhei:
Wooh! Awesome! Here I go!

Tomoya:
Hey.

Yukine:
Yes?

Tomoya:
If there's a guy and he likes a girl, do you think she would like him to tell her?

Yukine:
Oh, you mean like you and Furukawa?

Tomoya:
I-I never said that.

Yukine:
Naturally, if the feeling is mutual, then the girl would be happy to hear it.
However, keep in mind that timing is an important factor as well.
If you're too sudden or too forceful, it can cause her feeling's changed.

Tomoya:
So, that's how it is, huh?

Youhei:
Uh...

Yukine:
How did it go?

Youhei:
Leave me alone...

Tomoya:
How many times did you run around?
Even after all that, not a single girl said a word to you?

Youhei:
Uh...

Yukine:
Heh he.
Hold on. Let me get you some water.
Huh?
All right, Okazaki. Now it's your turn.

Tomoya:
I'm supposed to do it too?

Yukine:
Form a heart with your fingers just like this.

Tomoya:
All right, but let's make this fast.
Come on, Sunohara, move!
Ah...?

Fuko:
Eh...

Tomoya:
Shh!

It's nothing personal, but somehow I feel like you're the last person I should get romantically involved with.

Fuko:
Eh?

Tomoya:
Listen, there's a big bear that eats little girls prowling around the school right now.

Fuko:
Eh!

Tomoya:
If you wanna make it out alive, then act like you're dead and don't say a word.
Just pretend you're a zombie, okay?

Fuko:
Mm.
Grr, grrr.

Tomoya:
Oh man, that was a close call.

Nagisa:
Okazaki!

Tomoya:
Huh?

Nagisa:
You were late, so I came looking for you.
Why are you standing here in the hall?

Tomoya:
Uh Well, I... uh...

...she loves me, she loves me not.

Yukine:
Just go outside and start walking around the campus.
The first girl who stops and talks to you has a crush on you.

Nagisa:
What's wrong, Okazaki?

Tomoya:
Uh, it's nothing.

Yukine:
Looks like everyone's here now.

Nagisa:
I heard this story a long time ago.
But I don't remember the name and I don't remember if it was a picture book or something someone told to me or what.
But anyway, this story is about a little girl who's all alone in the world.
It's very lonely for her - very sad and very difficult.
There's nothing and no one else in the world.
But one day, the little girl decides to create a friend.
So she puts together a bunch of odds and ends and makes a mechanical doll.
And then, as if answering the girl's wishes, the doll begins to come alive!
At long last, the girl's loneliness goes away.

Tomoya:
Now I'm sure I've heard it before.


C L A N N A D
-クラナド-


Nagisa:
Come look!
You won't believe what I just found!

Tomoya:
What is it?

Nagisa:
Isn't it cute?
Back when I was in elementary school, I used to have this charm on my school bag.
Dango, dango, dango, dango, dango...

Tomoya:
Are you a little old for that sort of things?

Akio:
Hey! Who's singing that embarrassing song in my shed?

Tomoya:
Your daughter. That's who.

Nagisa:
We're looking for something.
I thought I might be able to find some old picture books or fairy tales I read when I was little.

Akio:
Trust me. There aren't any picture books in there.

Tomoya:
Who knows what'll turn up if we look hard enough.

Akio:
It's not there, okay?
So, just get back to making out in the bedroom, or whatever you kids do these days.
Huh? What am I saying?
I can't encourage that!

Tomoya:
Calm down, you're the one who said it, not me!

Akio:
Just get out of there already! Come on! Move it!

Nagisa:
Whoa!

Tomoya:
What do you want with me?

Akio:
Just listen.
What I'm about tell you is for your ears, not Nagisa's.
And since this is a man-to-man conversation,
I don't want you telling Sanae about this either.
It would only stir up old memories.

Tomoya:
That's fine.

Akio:
Some tea would be nice.
Hey, Sanae! Bring us some tea, will ya please?

Sanae:
Okay!

Akio:
Damn! I forgot we were supposed to keep this a secret from Sanae!
Argh!

Tomoya:
I think you need to take your brain in for some repairs.

Akio:
Man, that was close.
Anyway, we're safe now.
To tell you the truth, kid...

Sanae:
Here's your tea.

Akio:
Oh, thanks a lot.

Sanae:
You have some too, Okazaki.

Tomoya:
Thanks!

Akio:
Yup, if you're Japanese, it's gotta be tea.
Now I'll say it one more time, keep this a secret from Sanae and Nagisa.

Sanae:
What secret are you keeping from me?

Akio:
Ah! You're standing right there?!

Sanae:
After you finish your tea, I'll go back inside and you can have your secret man-talk.

Akio:
You heard her, kid!
Now hurry up and drink!

Tomoya:
Are you doing this on purpose, or are you just stupid?

Akio:
All right, now we can finally talk in peace.

Tomoya:
You were the one who was making it difficult in the first place.

Akio:
Did you ever find what you're looking for?

Tomoya:
No, not yet.

Akio:
I see.
Well don't get me wrong. It's not like I cared in first place
I'm not interested in digging up the old potty Nagisa used for toilet training.

Tomoya:
You say like I am.

Akio:
Oh yeah? You seem like you were looking pretty hard to me!

Tomoya:
Yeah, for a picture book, not a training potty!

Nagisa:
Hey, you two. It's late, so keep your voices down.
You don't want to trouble the neighbors.

Akio:
Well, whatever.
Let's just forget about the potty.

Tomoya:
You're the one who brought that crap up in the first place.

Akio:
Oh yeah, well from now on our code name is "Training Potty."
How you like that?

Tomoya:
Fine, whatever you want.

Akio:
Good! Then let's move on.
Whatever you're looking for isn't really the issue here.
I was just a little worried that you might find something else while you were digging around out there.

Tomoya:
Something else?

Akio:
Do you wanna know?

Tomoya:
Well, not if you don't wanna tell me.

Akio:
It's fine, I'll tell you.
If you don't know the truth, you'll probably just think I have an ass-load of porn magazines hidden out there.

Tomoya:
Now you're just putting the ideas in my head.

Akio:
Listen, those things we've got piled up back there in the shed - all of it - they're all pieces of our past.

Tomoya:
Huh?

Akio:
Old photos and diaries - that kind of stuff.
Things to remind us of the days when we were young and chasing our dreams.

Tomoya:
But why is it a problem if we see that?

Akio:
Let me explain.
We don't talk about this much, but when Nagisa was little, she almost died.

Tomoya:
Huh?

Akio:
She was face to face with death.
It was a close call.

It all happened about ten years ago.
Sanae was a middle school teacher and I was finally able to follow my dream too.
We had a busy life, but a happy one.

Tomoya:
Your dream? What was that?

Akio:
That's got nothing to do with this story.
The only thing you need to know is that we were both focused on our careers.
Too focused, actually.
The truth is we hardly ever found time to spend with Nagisa.
Anyway, it all started when Nagisa came down with a fever.
It was a cold snowy day.
Unfortunately, the day care center was closed at the time, and we couldn't find anyone to babysit either.
Even though our daughter was sick, it was a busy time for both of us.
And regardless of the circumstances, we couldn't take off work.
By that point, her temperature had come down and I figured I could go home as soon as I finish my work for the day.
It was just two hours... just two short hours... but...
Nagisa had gone outside to wait for us to come home.
I thought that God must be punishing us for being so selfish.
He was taking Nagisa away because we were too busy chasing our own dreams to worry about our own child.
I'm sure there are plenty of people in this world who can balance their careers and their child.
But we couldn't.
We had to make a choice.
When Nagisa opened her eyes again, the two of us made a pledge: we promised that we'd always be by her side.
So we both changed careers and decided to start a bakery together.
Since Sanae was so confident about baking bread and all.
'Course, you could imagine now that turned out, so if I wanted to survive, I had to learn the trade myself.
It wasn't easy.
We were always in and out of debt.
But I can't say it wasn't fun.

Tomoya:
But you don't want Nagisa to find out?
Why not?

Akio:
'Cause knowing her, she'll think it was her fault.
She'll think she's the reason why Sanae and I had to give up our dreams.

Nagisa:
Actually, I'm not sure.
But somehow, I have this really bad feeling - like something happened when I was little.
It might not be my fault, but I feel like I must've done something really bad to them.

Akio:
Eventually, Nagisa started to suspect that something was wrong.
So we put all our mementos into storage.
Digging up all this crap is hard enough on me.
Just imagine how sad it would make Sanae.

Tomoya:
I don't know, but I still think you should tell Nagisa.
It might be tough at first, but she deserves to know, and I'm sure she has the strength to deal with it.

Akio:
Maybe so, but if we just break it to her out of the blue, then it'll come back as a pretty big shock.
But some day, when the time is right, I'll tell her everything.
But that's the truth for ya.
It's always harsh, isn't it?


Akio:
Attention please, it's time for a quiz!
I've been planning something very special for Sunday, which is tomorrow by the way.
So, what do you think it is?!
Number one: a picnic!
Number two: pick-pick!
Three: picric acid!

Nagisa:
Hold on, I don't understand the last one.

Sanae:
Picric acid is a chemical compound.
It's yellow, highly aromatic and explosive.

Nagisa:
I see.
That's neat.
I guess I learn something new every day.

Akio:
All right, Nagisa. What's your answer?

Nagisa:
Right! I choose "picnic", number one!

Akio:
Wrong! The correct answer is number two, "pick-pick"!
So, tomorrow, we'll have fun pick-picking all day!

Sanae:
Nagisa, you and I can still go on a picnic if you like, okay?

Nagisa:
Okay!

Akio:
Huh? Wait!
That's not fair!
Don't leave me out!

Nagisa:
Hey, is it okay if we forget about the Drama Club just for tomorrow and have a little fun instead?

Tomoya:
Yeah, sounds good to me!
We could use a break every once in a while.

Nagisa:
Yeah.

Sanae:
By the way, Okazaki.
Would you mind telling me what kind of food you'd like to eat?
I wanna pack something that you'll enjoy as well.

Tomoya:
Sure.

Akio:
I want to eat apple slices cut up to look like rabbit ears!

Nagisa:
Ah! No fair, Dad!
Who said that you got to go first?!
By the way, I'd like to request hamburgers please!

Akio:
Then I want some deep-fried shrimp!


Tomoya:
I wonder if this is what a normal family is like?
Somehow, I don't think I should go with them tomorrow.
I wonder what Dad's doing right now?


Youhei:
Ugh! Who's in my bed?!

Tomoya:
Who do you think? It's me!

Youhei:
Okazaki, what are you doing here?

Tomoya:
Nothing, really.
But, what are you doing up so early?

Youhei:
Actually, I'm about to go to sleep.

A picnic, huh?
I have to admit, that's not really your style, is it?

Tomoya:
Not at all.
I figure if I went, it would just put a damper on their family get-together.

Youhei:
But isn't Nagisa expecting you?
She'll be disappointed, won't she?

Tomoya:
I left a note, so I'm sure she'll be fine.
"I have an errand to run, so please go without me," it says.

Youhei:
Yeah, but this is Nagisa we're talking about here,
I'm sure she's gonna imagine the worst case scenario.
At least she'll think you feel uncomfortable staying at her house, don't you think?

Tomoya:
Come on, she's not that sensitive.
It's just a stupid little picnic after all.

Youhei:
You wanna know that Nagisa has no confidence when it comes to these things.
She's always worried.
At least that's what it seems like to me.

Tomoya:
Maybe before, but she told me she's been more confident lately.

Youhei:
That's just because you've been around.
You're always scolding her and egging her on
That's why she is able to take on different challenges.
That's why she feels more confident now.

Tomoya:
Yeah, but that's a good thing, right?

Youhei:
Of course, it is. That's what I'm saying.
Think about this for a second.
She's gained confidence because you've been around to help.
Now, if you suddenly turn your back on her, what do you think will happen to all that confidence she's built up?
Nagisa doesn't realize how you feel about her.
So, it's easy for her to get the wrong idea.
You don't even think about it, but if you keep acting so wishy-washy, you're really gonna hurt her.
First you run away from your dad's house.
Then you run away from Nagisa's house, too.
Now you come running here and expect me to put you up?
Fine.
If you really don't wanna go to the picnic,
then I'd be more than happy to tag along in your place.
And hey, if I'm lucky, love will blossom between Nagisa and I!

Tomoya:
I'm leaving.
Sorry I bothered you.

Youhei:
That's it for me...


Tomoya:
Nagisa!

Nagisa:
Ah, Okazaki!
I was looking for you.

Tomoya:
I left you a note.
Did you get it?

Nagisa:
Huh? No, I didn't see any note.

Sanae:
Where have you been all this time?
We were starting to get worried.

Tomoya:
Ah, you got my note, right?

Akio:
Yeah, but I cooked it up and ate it for breakfast.
So I never read what it said.

Tomoya:
Why did you...?

Akio:
I wanted play baseball, but it's getting kind of late now.

Tomoya:
I'm so sorry. It's just...

Akio:
You're gonna have to make up for keeping us waiting all day.
And you could start by coming with us.

Tomoya:
Huh?


Akio:
Wah ha ha!

Boy:
Yay!


Akio:
Am I on a roll today or what!
You see that, Sanae?

Sanae:
I wouldn't miss it for the world!

Akio:
You fall in love me again?

Sanae:
Yup! Again and again!
You're the best.

Akio:
Of course I am!

Tomoya:
She didn't have to spread it out on a picnic cloth and everything.

Nagisa:
Okazaki, I helped Mom make all the food, so I hope it's good.
Give it a try, okay?

Tomoya:
Sure.
Tastes great!

Nagisa:
Ha, I'm so glad!

Akio:
Hey, kid! Hurry it up! You're next to bat!
Get your ass up to the plate already!

Tomoya:
All right, I'm coming!
Well, here I go.

Nagisa:
'Kay, knock it out of here!

Boy:
Oh, come on!

Tomoya:
Wonder if I can still hit with my shoulder?

Akio:
All right! Nice one kid!

Tomoya:
You see that, Nagisa?

Nagisa:
Yup!
Wouldn't miss it for the world!

Akio:
You fall in love with him again?

Nagisa:
Ye... Ah, dad, come on!

Akio:
Ah? Damn it!
She does like him?!

Akio:
Get over here, Nagisa.
You're up to bat! Stop making me...(?)

Nagisa:
Wait, you mean I have to play too?

Tomoya:
Go for it, Nagisa!

Nagisa:
Hm!

Tomoya:
Nice hit, Nagisa!
Run for it, Nagisa!

Nagisa:
Oh, yup...