Ouran High School Host Club>10. A Day in the Life of the Fujioka Family!

Tamaki:
This can't be right.

Haruhi:
Hey everyone, why don't you come in?
I know it's not much but please make yourselves at home.
I'll make us some tea.
Um, I'm sorry.
We don't have enough cups, but we do have some bowls.
Hey, here.

Kaoru:
Hey boss, what's with this place?
She lives here?

Hikaru:
Maybe, it's some kind of set.
You know, like in the movies.

Tamaki:
I-I-I-I hope so.
Calm down, you guys.
I bet this is the storeroom.
I'm positive the infinite cosmos is just on the other side of that closet.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Then, should we try to open it?

Tamaki:
Now's not the time.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Got it.

Haruhi:
Since you guys decided to come by at lunchtime, my dad said it would be rude if we didn't offer you enough something to eat.
We've been fasting for three days to save up money to buy something suited to your taste.
But it's all worth it as long as you guys like it.
Ta-da.
A sushi sampler.
It was marked down at the supermarket.
How about that?

Honey:
Sorry, we came to visit, Haru-chan.
Don't make us eat it.

Tamaki:
Be strong, men.
Haruhi suffered for our benefits.
So it's the least we can do.

Kaoru:
But sir, I'm not even sure this is fish.

Haruhi:
Wow, I can't believe it.
Isn't this a piece of fancy tuna?
I've never tasted it till now.
It's delicious.

Tamaki:
What?
No, Haruhi!
That's just regular old tuna.
It's by no means fancy.
Just a dream.

Shima:
Good morning, Master Tamaki.
Anything we can do for you?

Tamaki:
I need to get going.
Please bring the car around front at once.

Man:
Yes, of course, sir.

Shima:
I beg you pardon, Master Tamaki, but what would you like for breakfast this morning?

Tamaki:
I don't want any.
I already told you I have to get going.
I can't shake that nightmare I had this morning.
I respect the privacy of our club members.
So I've never intruded on their personal lives.
But what if Haruhi really is living in poverty?
What if the pover is at home?
I have to go see Haruhi and try to get the truth out of her.
I've gotta get to school.

Shima:
Hold it right there, Master Tamaki.
I can't let you leave the house like that.
You're still wearing your pajama bottoms and your house slippers.
Well, he's not the brightest young man.

Tamaki:
Thank you, Shima and I'll be going now.

Shima:
I hate to be a bother, Master Tamaki, but today is Sunday, which means you don't have to go to school today, sir.

Tamaki:
Oh really.
Well, why don't you make me aware of that fact earlier?

Shima:
As your maid, it's my duty to help you.
However, I want you to become a fine gentleman.
So, you must be able to recognize your own mistakes.
Since you suddenly have some free time on your hands, why don't we work on your manners?

Tamaki:
I have to make a call.
Someone, bring me a phone.

Maid:
Sure.

Tamaki:
Hey Kyoya, there's something I need to talk to you about.


Haruhi:
"A Day in the Life of the Fujioka Family".


Haruhi:
That was some sale.
There's no better time to hit the supermarket than a Sunday morning.
Now all I've gotta do when I get home is clean and do some laundry.
What's going on?
Why are they in front of our apartment?

Man:
Check out that car. Super rich.

Man:
Here you are, Master.

Kaoru:
So, this is where Haruhi lives?

Hikaru:
It's pretty big, huh?
Bigger than I thought it would be.

Honey:
Yeah, look at all the rooms!

Kyoya:
This building is what you might call an aggregate commoner dwelling.
Haruhi's home is just one of the many units in this building.

Tamaki:
Kyoya, why?
Why did you bring these idiots with us?
Especially those two doppelgangers!

Kyoya:
Well, you see.
I knew you didn't have the courage to come here alone.
So I thought it would be best if everyone came along.
All right, let's go home.
I guess I underestimated our great leader.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
What?
I'm not going home.

Tamaki:
I'm sorry.
Don't leave.
I don't want to be alone.

Man:
Is this for some kind of movie shoot or something?

Child:
Rich people! Rich people!

Tamaki:
Now, listen up, men,
Don't you forget!
We must be polite.
This is a casual "we just happened to be in the neighborhood" kind of visit.
We're not here to judge the Fujuoka family's lifestyle.
The words, shabby, cramped and run-down, are absolutely forbidden.

Honey, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Right!
Yes, sir!

Tamaki:
Don't say anything that might offend Haruhi or her father and cause them to ask us to leave.

Haruhi:
Well it's too late for that.
Go away.

Tamaki:
Haruhi!

Host club members:
That pink dress is pretty cute.

Haruhi:
Shut up!
Get the hell out of here!

Tamaki:
Haruhi's so mad she actually cursed at us.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Hey, it wasn't us.

Landlady:
Excuse me, Haruhi, but is everything all right?

Haruhi:
Oh hi miss landlady.

Landlady:
Those young men are driving such a fancy foreign cars.
They are not Yakuza, are they?

Haruhi:
No, they're not.

Landlady:
Do you want me to call the police for you?

Tamaki:
Pleased to meet you, madam.
My name is Suou, and I'm one of Haruhi's friends.

Landlady:
Really?
My goodness, why aren't you just adorable?

Haruhi:
And he's got her.

Landlady:
We were just stopping by.
We didn't mean to cause a scene.
I'm sorry.

Landlady:
Oh, it's no problem.
I'll stop by later with some snacks for you and your friends.
See you later.

Haruhi:
Okay, here is the deal.
I'm only giving you guys a quick peek, 3 seconds.
And you all go home, got it?

Honey:
Look, I brought you a gift, Haru-chan.
I know how you love cake.
There is both chocolate and strawberry.
I think we should have some.

Honey:
Fine.
I guess I'll make some tea.

Tamaki:
Whew.
At least, it's better than my dream.

Hikaru:
What a hovel.

Tamaki:
Shut up!

Kyoya:
A wood-built, two-bed room unit.
That's normal for commoner family of two.

Kaoru:
Haruhi is such a pipsqueak.
At least, we know she won't hit her head on the low ceilings.

Honey:
Wow, I think it's a super cute little room.

Haruhi:
You don't have to struggle to compliment it.

Honey:
Hold on.
Are we supposed to take off our shoes, too?

Haruhi:
Please if you don't mind.

Honey:
Did you hear that?
We have to take our shoes off.
It's kinda like going to a dojo, huh?

Mori:
Yeah.

Hikaru:
Do you have any slippers for us, Haruhi?

Kaoru:
Wait.
The rooms are covered with tatami-mat.

Hikaru:
In that case, we don't need slippers.

Honey, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Great.
Thanks for inviting us in.

Mori:
Yeah, thanks.

Tamaki:
It's greatly appreciated.

Kyoya:
Yes, thanks, Haruhi.

Hikaru:
Wow, talk about small.

Mori;
Ow.

Kaoru:
Be careful.
The light bulb is just hanging from the ceiling.

Tamaki:
This place is quite unpleasant.
But I think I may underestimate the commoner housing.
I know it's a tight fit in here men but just pull your knees in and sit gym style.
Commoners have specially developed this position to conserve space.

Haruhi:
I just gotta get through this visit.
I should've expected this from them.
I'm gonna go make us some tea.

Hikaru:
Hey, here is an idea.
Why don't you make us this?
It's black tea that our father brought us as a souvenir from Africa.
Here.
Try it.

Haruhi:
Oh sure.
No problem.

Kaoru:
It's best served as milk tea.
Do you have milk?

Haruhi:
I think.
When was the last time that I bought some milk?

Tamaki:
Stop it.
What the hell are you doing?
Don't be so mean to her, you idiots.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
What do you mean?

Tamaki:
I know you're trying to embarrass her by asking for that African tea.
Look!
She has no idea how she's supposed to prepare it.

HIkaru:
She doesn't even have a tea pot.

Kaoru:
She is too embarrassed to tell us that she doesn't.
I'm sorry, Haruhi.
You don't have to go to all that trouble.
We don't need any tea.
We'd be fine with a glass of water.

Haruhi:
What?
It's not trouble.
Besides, I've already made it.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Oh, well in that case.

Hikaru:
Whew, men, that was a close one, boss.

Tamaki:
We have been rescued by commoners' wisdom.

Kaoru:
What do you mean, sir?

Tamaki:
Nothing we know to be true in our world holds true here.
We have to be careful how we react.
One little offhanded remark would break Haruhi's heart.
That means, in this fight, the first person to embarrass Haruhi loses.

Kyoya:
While your antics are amusing, I don't understand why you feel the need to turn this into a contest.

Haruhi:
Okay, guys, the tea is ready.
I'm sorry that not all of the cups match.

Tamaki:
At least she's not using chipped bowls and measuring cups.

Honey:
Come on, Haru-chan.
You can choose your cake first.

Haruhi:
Are you sure, Honey senpai?

HIkaru:
Go ahead.
We're rich.
We eat this kind of stuff all the time.

Kaoru and Tamaki:
Shh!

Haruhi:
Um in that case, I'll have the strawberry.

Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
She's so cute.

Tamaki:
I wish I could tell her how cute she is.
But there is no telling what might offend her.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
The traps of the commoner's world are terrifying.

Mori:
You like strawberries, right?
You can have mine.

Haruhi:
Thanks.
That's nice of you, Mori senpai.

Hikaru:
Why didn't we think of that?

Tamaki:
I should have been sharing strawberries with her.

Kaoru:
Why'd we let him trick us?

Honey:
Ah, eating all that cake sure wet my appetite.

Hikaru:
Yeah, isn't it lunchtime about now?

Host club members:
Well then, what's for lunch.

Haruhi:
Will you guys quit being so happy-go-lucky all the time, please?

Kyoya:
We'll take care of it.
We did drop in unexpectedly.
So we'll pay for lunch.
Why don't you just order us all some of your favorite sushi?

Haruhi:
Thanks, but no thanks.
I know that if I let you guys pay, I'll only regret it later.

Kyoya:
Oh don't worry, Haruhi.
We'll just pay for it using the profits from the photos of you we auctioned off.

Haruhi:
So I'm really paying for it after all.
Well if that's what you want, I do have a friend who runs a nice little sushi shop nearby, so I can just give them a call.
Their stuff is pretty high-quality.

Be careful, Haruhi.
Just because the sushi's packaging says premium doesn't mean that it's high-quality.

I'm not stupid.
I could figure that out on my own.

Tamaki:
How could you do that?
Daddy even attempted to look casual not to embarrass you!

Honey:
I'd really love it if you make us something for lunch, Haru-chan.

Hikaru:
No, Honey senpai.

Kaor
How could you ask that of her?

Tamaki:
Don't upset her.
Try to restrain yourself.

Haruhi:
I guess I could whip something up, but it's gonna take me some time.

Honey:
We can wait.

Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Why didn't we think of asking her that?

Tamaki:
This means we'll get to eat Haruhi's cooking.

Haruhi:
I'm gonna have to go to the supermarket again.

Hikaru:
We're coming with you.

Kaoru:
We want to see a commoners' supermarket.

Honey:
Me too! Me too!

Kyoya:
This could be a learning experience.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Yay! commoners' supermarket, commoners' supermarket.

Honey:
This is going to be fun.

Haruhi:
Oh, well that's it.
So much for having a day off today.
Hey senpai, aren't you coming with us?

Tamaki:
I am.
I just wanted to pay my respects to your mother before we left.

Haruhi:
Thank you.
You don't have to do that.

Tamaki:
Looks like you take after your mom.

Haruhi:
I guess.
That's what my dad always tells me.

Tamaki:
She was a beautiful woman.
And I bet she was a smart one as well.

Haruhi:
I'm not really good judge of beauty, but she was smart.
She was a lawyer.

Tamaki:
Oh yeah?
No doubt she was a great lawyer.
I can tell.
Trust me.
You can't fool these eyes, Haruhi.

Haruhi:
I'm not so sure about that, senpai.
But my mom...

Kotoko:
Well Haruhi, your mom is gonna go out there and do her best.
Watch.
We're gonna win this one.

Haruhi:
She was a great lawyer.

Tamaki:
Everyone's outside waiting for us.
We should probably get going.
Don't you think?

That hurts.
Are you okay, Haruhi?

Haruhi:
I'm fine, but you're kind of heavy.

Ranka:
I'm home, Haruhi.
Hey why do you leave the door open?

Haruhi:
Welcome home, dad.


Mori:
At that moment, her father came home...

Honey:
from his shift at the tranny bar.

Mori:
He saw his daughter pinned down...

Honey:
or so it appeared...

Mori:
forcefully being held...

Honey:
or so it appeared...

Mori:
by some strange boy.

Tamaki:
Dad?
You gotta be kidding.
This transvestite is Haruhi's father?

Haruhi:
So dad, how was work?

Tamaki:
Just stay calm.
It was an accident.
I'm sure he'll understand if I explain what happened.

Ranka:
I'm sorry.
I hated having to leave you alone last night.
You must have been lonely.

Haruhi:
That sound.
He hit really hard.

Ranka:
Oh, dear, my left arm has been bothering me lately.
It's so sore like I went hand to hand with some ferocious beast.

Tamaki:
Please, sir...

Ranka:
It's such a been way too hard.
I could sure use a cup of hot tea about now.

Tamaki:
Hot tea?
I'll get it for you.
Do you use firewood to boil water, Haruhi?
Help me out.
Your dad wants tea.

Ranka:
Oh, my, would you look at that?
I seem to come across a little pest.
Would you like to tell me why you're addressing my daughter with such informality, young man?

Hikaru:
Hey boss, what the world is taking you so long?

Kaoru:
Oh, check it out.
That person we passed downstairs was Haruhi's father.

Tamaki:
Hikaru, Kaoru, help me out here.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
It's nice to meet you, Haruhi's dad.
We're good friends of your daughter's, the Hitachiin brothers.

Hikaru:
So, you're a transvestite, aren't you?

Kaoru:
You're the first real transvestite we've ever seen.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
You finally put the moves on Haruhi, huh boss?

Hikaru:
Sorry about him.
He's a ladies' man if you know what I mean.

Kaoru:
He's a pheromone machine.
In fact, I bet he's fooled around with more ladies than you can count.

Ranka:
He likes to fool around, huh?

Tamaki:
No!
I'm not a ladies' man.
I'm a nice guy.
I care about her.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Is he confessing his love?

Tamaki:
I'm being completely honest here.
I care about Haruhi like she's my own daughter.

Ranka;
I get it.
You must be the host club I've heard so much about.
You certainly are a fine looking bunch of young men.
I'm not sure which of you I like best.
What about you, dear?
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you boys go ahead and call me Ranka?
That's the professional name I use at the transvestite bar I work at.

Honey:
Professional name?
You mean like a stage name?

Ranka:
Exactly like that, Mitsukuni.

Honey:
Hold on, how did you know my name, sir?

Ranka:
You two are 3rd-years Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka.
And two of you are 1st-years and in the same class as Haruhi.
You're the Hitachiin twins.
But I'm not sure which one of you is which.
I've heard a lot about you.

Hikaru:
What?
So Haruhi told you about us?

Ranka:
No, Kyoya told me about you two over the phone.

Kyoya:
You know, you really are a beautiful person, Ranka.

Host club members:
Say what?

Tamaki:
Kyoya.

Kyoya:
We've been entrusted with the care of his precious daughter.
It is only natural that we introduce ourselves and give periodic reports.
Ordinarily, that would be your job, wouldn't it?

Ranka:
I'm impressed that the club has such a capable president.
But wait a minute.
You're only the vice-president, aren't you, Kyoya?
I guess that president of yours is pretty much good for nothing, huh.

Haruhi:
You never mentioned this to me, dad.
Why didn't you say that you've been getting calls from Kyoya senpai?

Ranka:
What am I supposed to do, Haruhi?
You rarely tell me anything about school.

Haruhi:
So that makes it okay to talk behind my back?
Come on, senpai.
Would you please stop growing mushrooms in other people's closets?

Ranka:
Haruhi, the thing about you is you're cute even when you're angry.

Hikaru:
I don't know what it is about him, but Haruhi's dad reminds me of someone.

Kaoru:
This explains why she is so good at handling the boss.

Ranka:
Wait, Haruhi.
Where are you going?

Haruhi:
The supermarket, all right?
I have to go shopping and I wanna do it by myself.
So all of you, just stay here and try to behave yourselves.

Hikaru:
Wait.
We want to go to the commoners' supermarket.

Ranka:
I wouldn't push it.
Once she's made her mind up, she'll never change it.
When she decided she wanted to go to Ouran academy, she did all the enrollment paper work by herself.
While I respect her independent spirit, I wish she'd be a little more dependent on me sometimes.

Haruhi! So, why didn't you tell me that today was "bring your parents to school day"?!

Haruhi:
Sorry, dad, but I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to go!

Store Manager:
What?!
She's not going through a rebellious phase!
Listen, I hate to be the one to break it to you, buddy, but I have a feeling she didn't invite you to school with her because she's embarrassed her daddy's a tranny.

Ranka:
So, I like to wear women's clothing!
What's it matter?!
I'll never love anyone the way I loved Kotoko and she never had a problem with it!
So lay off, would ya?!

Store Manager:
Hey, Haruhi!
I brought your dad home!
He drunk himself stupid again.

Ranka:
Hello my darling, I'm home.

Haruhi:
You smell like a bar.

Store Manager:
He's pretty upset about not getting to go to "bring your parents to school day" today.
You should invite him next time.

Haruhi:
I can't.
I didn't invite you because you work so hard and I thought you can use the time off.
I know that you're pretty tired, dad.
So I thought you should use your day off to just catch up on your sleep.
I want you to take better care of yourself.

Ranka:
I hope you boys know how grateful I am.
Since she found you, she seems to be happier.
She is enjoying herself.
Wouldn't you agree, Tamaki Suou?

Tamaki:
You know who I am.

Ranka:
Of course, I do.
Haruhi's told me a thing or two about you.
You're the host club's bumbling president, right?

Kyoya:
So, she talks about the host club at home after all.

Ranka:
Come to think of it, you're the one who didn't realize Haruhi was a girl until the very last moment?
You're clueless, aren't you?
Pretty pathetic.
Now that we've gotten all the introductions out of the way, how would you boys like to have a little fun?

Haruhi:
Why didn't he tell me?
I have no idea that Kyoya senpai's been calling my dad and giving him update.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
So we're going to follow her to supermarket?

Kyoya:
This is what you meant by fun.

Ranka:
Yes, I call it the stalking game.

Woman:
What an attractive group of young men.

Woman:
Do you think it's TV stars?

Ranka:
In all honesty, I have a completely selfish reason for bringing you out with me.
I want to be seen with a bunch of cute boys.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Sure enough.
Those two are definitely cut from the same cloth.

Tamaki:
Do you really think it's necessary to follow her around like this?
Are you that worried about her?

Ranka:
As you know, Haruhi lost her mother at a young age and afterwards she took on all the household chores and shopping by herself.
I decided to start following her whenever she would leave the house.
Maybe, I'm just being over-protective.
I worry about her all the time.
I'm the only one who can protect her, you know?

Haruhi:
What the?
Hey, what are you doing here, dad?

Ranka:
Oh it looks like you caught me, Haruhi.
I followed you here so I can carry your shopping basket.
You know, how daddy loves accessories.
Now why don't you just hand it over?

Haruhi:
You're so weird.

Ranka:
Either she doesn't know how to depend on others or she refuses to, she's always been so independent and so strong.
And she has this uncanny ability to affect others without even realizing it.

Tamaki:
That's true.
I've seen it.
I understand.

Ranka:
What do you mean you understand?
Don't think you're gonna win me over just because you're handsome.
I'm warning you, I'm not ready to let go yet.

Tamaki:
You could at least let go off my face?

Ranka:
You've got some nerve.
You barely even know Haruhi.
That means, from this day forward, you're my enemy.

Haruhi:
What the?
Hey, what are you doing here, senpai?

Tamaki:
Oh it looks like you caught me, Haruhi.
I followed you here so I can carry your shopping basket.
You know, how daddy loves accessories.
Now why don't you just hand it over?

Haruhi:
You're so weird.
What's with the mushrooms?

Honey:
Weee, faster, Takashi.

Kyoya:
So, does double coupons mean I need two of them?

Hikaru:
Ah, there's a whole stack of commoners' coffee.

Haruhi:
Was there anything in particular you wanted to eat?

Tamaki:
How about a stewpot?
One with lots of meat in it, and no chrysanthemum.

Haruhi:
That's a great idea.
The stewpot would be good since we need to feed a lot of people.
It's kind of warm for it, though.

Ranka:
I know it's going to happen eventually.
One day, my precious little girl will be all grown up and she'll want to have that special someone by her side...
Just thinking about it gets my blood boiling.
Here Tamaki, have some chrysanthemum, your favorite.

Haruhi:
What's going on here?


Hikaru and Kaoru:
We didn't know you had a younger sister, boss?

Tamaki:
As of today, I will be your big brother.

Haruhi:
You know, you really should think before you make promises like that.

Haruhi:
Next time, "Big Brother is a Prince".

Tamaki:
The ouran host club will be waiting for you.

Host club members:
We'll see you then.