Haruhi>03. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Ⅲ

Kyon:
You're... an alien?

Nagato:
My mission is to observe Haruhi Suzumiya and report the information back to the Data Integration Thought Entity.

Kyon:
Huh?

Nagato:
I've been performing this task daily since my creation three years ago.
It has been quite peaceful and there have been no uncertain factors.
However, irregularities have appeared near Haruhi Suzumiya which cannot be ignored.
That would be... you.

To the Data Integration Thought Entity, the third planet in the solar system, this planet, held no special value.
However, the current inhabitants of Earth, as it is known by your kind, developed a cognitive ability that could be considered intelligence.
Consequently, the significance of the planet increased.
There was the possibility that your kind might provide an answer in overcoming the inert evolution the entity is experiencing.
Throughout the universe, it is common for organic life forms to develop a consciousness.
Human beings from Earth were the only creatures whose consciousness evolved into intellect.
The Entity, carefully, yet thoroughly continued its observations.
Three years ago, they noticed an abnormal flare-up of data on the surface of the planet.
This explosion of information started from one area of a bow-shaped archipelago, then quickly enveloped the entire planet and surged further outward into space.
In the center of all this was...
For the three years since, multiple investigations and observations have occurred regarding Haruhi Suzumiya.
However, she remains an enigma.
Regardless, one section of the Entity continues to perform its analysis of Haruhi Suzumiya.
The Entity believes she will be the key to humankind's auto-evolution as well as its own.
Because the Entity is an astral being, it cannot directly communicate with organic life forms.
The Entity does not communicate through language and your kind has no way of communicating without language.
That is why the Data Integration Thought Entity created interfaces such as myself.
Through me, it can make contact with the human species.

We believe that Haruhi Suzumiya has the potential for auto-evolution.
She has the power to manipulate the environmental data around her for her benefit.
That is the reason why I am here and the reason why you are here.

Kyon:
Hold it. Just hang on a sec. I'm totally lost.

Nagato:
Trust me.

Kyon:
Okay, first of all, why me?
I mean for starters, let's just say I believe all this stuff you're telling me about this data integrated whatchama-whozit thingy in space.
But if it's true, why reveal your identity to me?

Nagato:
You have been chosen by Haruhi Suzumiya.
Whether she knows it or not, Haruhi Suzumiya has the power to affect her surroundings by transforming her will into absolute data.
There is a reason she chose you rather than someone else.


Kyon:
No way.


Nagato:
Way.
You and Haruhi Suzumiya have the possibilities in your hands.


Kyon:
You're serious about all this?

Nagato:
Of course.


Kyon:
Here I am, amazed that the silent one had finally started talking.
But the stuff that was coming out of her mouth was completely wacko.
I never imagined she'd be so ... out there.
You know, you'd really make Haruhi ecstatic if you went up to her personally and told her all this stuff.
Hate to say it, but I'm having a hard time keeping up with this kind of talk.
It's so confusing.

Nagato:
The Data Integration Thought Entity is under the impression that if Haruhi Suzumiya is made aware of her worth and her abilities, it would create a catastrophic event.
For now, we must continue our observations unbeknownst to her.

Kyon:
Okay, but I could run out right now and tell Haruhi everything you just explained to me.

Nagato:
She does not take the information you feed her seriously.

Kyon:
That's true...

Nagato:
I am not the only interface that the Data Integration Thought Entity has placed upon this planet.
Another section of the Entity is determined to use more proactive methods with Haruhi Suzumiya in order to observe the fluctuations of data.
You are the key to Haruhi Suzumiya.
If there is danger, you are the first target.

Kyon:
Uhmm... I'm outta here.

Kyon:
Humanoid Inter... what?
Aliens...
She's always by herself reading this stuff.
Maybe that's where her weird fantasies come from.
I'll bet that when she is in class, she doesn't talk to anybody.
She just stays cooped up in her own little world.
Yuki and Haruhi need to just chill out and enjoy some plain and ordinary school life.


Haruhi:
I can't believe it! He's finally here!
Isn't it amazing?! A mysterious transfer student! It's gotta be!

Kyon:
You haven't even seen him yet--how do you know he's mysterious?

Haruhi:
Like I said, a student who transfers during the strange between time in the middle of school has a good chance of being a mysterious transfer student!

Kyon:
If you don't mind, I wanna know just who gave you that statistic.
Because if it's true and you take into account all the mysterious people in Japan, then everyone would be considered...

Haruhi:
I'm gonna go check him out!

Kyon:
...and you're not listening, are you?

Kyon:
After school when I stopped by the club, Miss Asahina had heroically recovered after only one day.
I'm surprised to see you back here after everything happened.

Mikuru:
Yeah... but after thinking about it, I realized I still had concerns...

Kyon:
I can swear she said that before.
What are you concerned about?

Mikuru:
Uh... It's nothing... Huh?


Nagato:
...

Kyon:
You wanna sit in for a game?
So Nagato, you ever played Othello?

Nagato:
...

Haruhi:
Sorry to keep you waiting!
Someone transferred into the freshman class nine today, and he's joining us.
His name is...

Koizumi:
Itsuki Koizumi. How do you do?

Haruhi:
This is the SOS Brigade.
I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, the Brigade leader, and these are Brigade members number one, two and three.
By the way, you're member number four.
Everyone should make him feel right at home.

Koizumi:
I don't mind joining you guys, but I was wondering what kind of club this is, anyway.

Haruhi:
Let me tell you exactly what the SOS Brigade is all about.
Attention!
The SOS Brigade's mission is to find aliens, time-travelers and espers and hang out with them!

Kyon:
It's as if the whole world had come to a grinding halt.
No, not really, but I was reminded of the Haruhi's declaration on the first day of school.

Koizumi:
Oh, I get it.
As expected from Miss Suzumiya.

Kyon:
What did he just get?

Koizumi:
All right I'll join your club. And I hope to have a good time with all of you.

Kyon:
What? Even after what she just said? Was he even listening?

Koizumi:
Nice to meet you, I'm Itsuki Koizumi.
And I just transferred here, there's still a lot I don't know so I hope you show me the ropes.

Kyon:
Uh yeah... I'm...

Haruhi:
That's Kyon.
And the cute one is Mikuru, and the one over there with the glasses is Yuki!

Mikuru:
Waaaaa!

Koizumi:
Oh my... are you all right?

Haruhi:
We've got five members now, and that means we're an official extra curricular club!

Mikuru:
I'm fine really, thanks.

Haruhi:
Yay! The time has finally come for the SOS Brigade to be unveiled!
Brigaders, get ready to do your best and fight as one!

Kyon:
Fighting? Unveiled? And now Nagato's become a member.
I mean, are you sure you're okay with that, Nagato?


Kyon:
Moving right along, it's now after school of the following day.

Haruhi:
C'mon and hurry up! Take your clothes off!

Kyon:
Er...

Mikuru:
(Scream)

Kyon:
Holy! Sorry.

Haruhi:
When it comes to MOE, the maid costume is essential.
You need one in every school-based story.

Kyon:
What kind of school-based story is this?

Haruhi:
And now, it's time for pictures!

Mikuru:
But... don't take a picture.

Haruhi:
Chin down a bit... good. Grab hold of the apron.
Biggest smile, work it!
Kyon, take over for me, okay?

Haruhi:
Mikuru, let's make things a little sexier.

Mikuru:
What are you doing?!

Haruhi:
Come on, it's okay!

Kyon:
There's nothing okay about it.
Yeah, I should talk I'm the one taking the pictures.

Haruhi:
Yuki, give me your glasses.
Here we go!

Kyon:
And glasses on.
What is she planing to do with these photos, anyway?

Haruhi:
Yeah, perfect!
A glasses-wearing lolita maid with great boobs!
This is so awesome!

Mikuru:
No!

Haruhi:
From now on, Mikuru, whenever you're in this room, you've gotta wear this outfit.

Mikuru:
Oh, no...

Koizumi:
What's going on here?

Haruhi:
All right, now we're talking.
Let's all have some fun with Mikuru.

Kyon:
That's enough.

Koizumi:
Thanks for the offer but I'll pass.
I'd be afraid of the consequences.
Please continue, though.
Don't mind me.

Kyon:
I can use a little help here.
Haven't you had enough?! Just cut it out already.
You gotta be breaking several laws here.

Haruhi:
What are you talking about?!
Whatever, I got a lot of photos, anyway.


Haruhi:
Okay!
The very first meeting of the SOS Brigade is about to begin!
We did a lot to come this far this fast!
We passed out flyers.
We made a website, and now we see that the SOS Brigade's fame at this school has skyrocketed!
Sure you can say that the phase one was a big success.
And I agree with you at all points(xxx).

Kyon:
I wonder what part of traumatizing Miss Asahina makes this a big success.

Haruhi:
However, we haven't gotten a single e-mail concerning strange phenomena, also not even one student's come by yet to consult us about anything weird or otherwise abnormal going on around our lives!


Kyon:
Tch, yeah, go figure.
I mean, it's not exactly clear what we're even supposed to be doing.
After all, we just found out what this club is for, yesterday.

Haruhi:
Okay, you've probably heard it before--people like to say stuff like "Good things come to those who wait".
But in these times, we cannot sit and wait!
We must find those good things even if we have to dig up every inch of this earth.
So then, let's go search for them.


Kyon:
For what?

Haruhi:
The mysteries of this world!


Kyon:
And with that, we're now going on a tour around the city in search of a mystery and a phenomenon.
On Saturday, meet at 9:00 a.m. in front of Kitaguchi Station.
Those who arrive late shall receive the death penalty.
.... Death penalty?
You know, I really hate to waste a day-off.


Haruhi:
You're late! Penalty!


Kyon:
Haruhi's proposal; Split off into groups of two, search the city for mysterious phenomena.
If we find any, alert the others via cell-phone.
That is all.


Haruhi:
I guess we've got our groups.

Kyon:
It might be a lucky day for me after all.
I mean, if I can go on a date with Miss Asahina, treating everyone to lunch 'cause I was late is a small price to pay.


Haruhi:
Kyon, are you paying attention?
Would you be serious here?
This isn't a date! Got it ?!


Kyon:
Yeah, I hear you.

Haruhi:
Look, this isn't fun and games.
You mess around and I'll kill you, hmph!

Kyon:
And with those parting words, Haruhi's team left to investigate the east side of the station.
While Miss Asahina and I were ordered to search the west side.
However...

Mikuru:
What should we do?

Kyon:
Beats me.

Mikuru:
This is the first time I've ever gone for a walk like this.

Kyon:
By "like this" you mean...?

Mikuru:
Out walking alone with a boy.

Kyon:
Come on, I can't believe that.
You're telling me that you've never gone out on a date with anyone before?

Mikuru:
Never.

Kyon:
You're kidding, right? I mean don't you have guys just lining up to ask you out?

Mikuru:
But I can't do it. You see I'm not supposed to go out on a date with anyone, at least not in this...
Kyon, I've got a favor to ask of you.

Kyon:
After a couple of false starts, Miss Asahina finally started putting her words into complete sentences and began to explain.

Mikuru:
You might not believe a word I'm about to say, but the truth is I'm not actually from this time plane!
I come from the future.
I can't tell you from which time period or time plane I come from though.
Telling anything about the future to anyone from the past is restricted.
(...time isn't a continuous stream..)
I was told this before I boarded the time machine.
Um, think of it as being a lot like animation.
The pictures look like they're in motion, right?
But it's just a series of still frames laid out in a sequence.
Time is just like that.
Time-traveling is moving in a three dimensional direction along the various time planes.
I'm from the future, that means, on this time plane, I'm sort of like an extra picture in the middle of one of those flip-book animation things.

Kyon:
What is it, now?

Mikuru:
As for me, I'm here because a large time-quake happened three years ago.
Oh, that's three years ago from the current time in this plane.
We arrived in the past to investigate and we were surprised once we got here.
No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't go further back in time from that plane.
The conclusion was that there had to be a large time-gap between the time planes.
It wasn't until recently that we found the thing that caused it.
Um, that is... "recently" in the future where I come from.

Kyon:
So, what is the reason?

Mikuru:
Miss Suzumiya.

Kyon:
Not again.

Mikuru:
She was at the very center of the time distortion, and I can't explain any more of this to you because it's classified information.
But we are certain that it was Miss Suzumiya who closed the access to the past.

Kyon:
It's hard to believe Haruhi would be able to do something like that.

Mikuru:
Believe me. It's a mystery to us as well.
And Miss Suzumiya doesn't realize that she's the cause of the timequake either.
That's where I come in.
I was sent here to see whether or not there would be any new time anomalies occurring near Miss Suzumiya.
I guess... I'm kinda like a watchdog.
I'll understand if you don't wanna believe what I just told you.

Kyon:
No, it's not that. It's just...
Why are you telling me?

Mikuru:
Because you are the one that Miss Suzumiya has chosen.
I can't explain because it's classified information.
But you are very important to Miss Suzumiya.
There're reasons behind everything she does, every time she raises her hand and takes a step.

Kyon:
What about Nagato and the new guy?

Mikuru:
Oh well, they are in very similar positions to me.
I never expected Miss Suzumiya to get us all together in such a precise manner, though.

Kyon:
So that means you know who or what both of them really are, right?

Mikuru:
That's classified.

Kyon:
Uh, can you tell me what's going to happen to Haruhi?


Mikuru:
That's classified.

Kyon:
Well, if you're from the future, you already know what happens, right?

Mikuru:
That's classified.

Kyon:
Well then, why don't you just tell Haruhi all this stuff?

Mikuru:
That's classified.
I'm sorry, but I'm not authorized to say anything right now.
You don't have to believe me.
I just wanted you to know about it, that's all.

Kyon:
I just heard the same thing a couple of days ago, didn't I?

Mikuru:
I'm sorry to dump all this on you like I did.

Kyon:
Don't apologize, I don't mind.
So now we got an alien and a time-traveler.
What's going on here?
If there's anybody out there who believes in all this stuff, please call me. We'll trade places.

Kyon:
Miss Asahina,

Mikuru:
Yes?

Kyon:
You mind if we put all this on hold, I mean, is it okay if we just put aside whether I believe you or not, and just get back to it later?

Mikuru:
Sure.

Kyon:
Before we do, can I ask you one question?

Mikuru:
Yes, what is it?

Kyon:
If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me how old you really are?

Mikuru:
That's classified!


Kyon:
After that little conversation, Haruhi called me on my cell and we all got together again at noon.

Haruhi:
Find anything?

Kyon:
Nothing.

Haruhi:
Were you guys really looking?
I hope you weren't just wandering around, Mikuru?

Mikuru:
N-No...

Kyon:
What about you? Did you find anything?

Kyon:
While we ate lunch, Haruhi said she wanted to split up the groups again.

Koizumi:
An unmarked one again.

Haruhi:
We'll meet back at the station at four!
Make sure to find something this time, you got that?!


Kyon:
This time, we split up to search the north end and the south end.
Nagato and me took the south side.


Kyon:
You know what you told me about the other day?

Nagato:
What?

Kyon:
Well, suddenly I find myself thinking that it doesn't really sound so far-fetched anymore.

Nagato:
Oh...

Kyon:
If I have to pass the time with Nagato, this is about the only place to do it.
Oh, brother...

Kyon:
Arrrrgh!

Haruhi:
What time do you think it is, you idiot?!

Kyon:
Sorry, but I actually just woke up.

Haruhi:
Huh?! What did you just say to me?!

Kyon:
We were supposed to meet you at four, right?

Haruhi:
Get your butt back here, you've got thirty seconds!

Kyon:
I had my work cut out for me.
We had to leave, but getting Nagato to move when she's reading is impossible.
First I had to get her a library card so she could check out the book.
Meanwhile, I had to ignore the incessant calls from Haruhi.

Haruhi:
Late! Penalty!

Kyon:
In the end, we didn't find anything even remotely close to phenomena.
The day's activities were a waste of both my time and my money.
Before we split up though, Miss Asahina...

Mikuru:
I wanted to thank you for listening to my story today.

Kyon:
...Whispered in my ear, which felt pretty good if I may say so.

Haruhi:
All right, spit it out.
What were you doing today?

Kyon:
Wait a minute, what about you?
Were you able to find any of your mysterious phenomena today?
Well, they wouldn't be careless enough to let you find them in one day, right?
I mean what did you expect anyway.

Haruhi:
We're gonna need to review your behavior on Monday.

Kyon:
And with that, she stormed off.

Kyon:
You kidding me.

Kyon:
The weekend was over.
And I was sweating from all the humidity this morning, oh, the rainy season...
Haruhi walked in right before the final bell rang.

Haruhi:
Send me some of that breeze.

Kyon:
You're on your own there.
Hey Suzumiya, ever happened to hear the story about the blue bird of happiness?

Haruhi:
What about it?

Kyon:
Never mind, it doesn't have to do with anything.

Haruhi:
Then don't talk about it.

Kyon:
After being showered from behind by Haruhi's aura of unpleasantness all day, I fled to the safety of the clubroom, much like a rat running from a brush-fire.
There was someone I needed to talk to.
Koizumi, don't you also have something you wanna talk to me about regarding Suzumiya?

Koizumi:
I get the feeling that the other two have already talked to you about her, am I right?

Kyon:
Yeah.

Koizumi:
Well, how much do you know?

Kyon:
Just that Suzumiya isn't your ordinary person.

Koizumi:
Good. That'll make my side of things easier because that's definitely the case.

Kyon:
How about you start by telling me who you really are?

Koizumi:
Well, as you might have already guessed, I'm what's called an esper.
It's best we call it that for now, okay?
To tell you the truth, I wasn't planning on transferring into this school so suddenly.
But the circumstances have changed.
And I have to say that I really didn't expect the two of them to join up with Haruhi Suzumiya so quickly.
Either way, I'm sure we're going to have the chance to talk more about all this later.
"A picture's worth a thousand words," they say, and I definitely have something to show you.
But for now I think I'll give you the short version.
The Organization that I belong to has other espers besides yours true.
Actually, the school's already been secretly infiltrated by a bunch of us agents.
And ever since the Organization started up three years ago, we've been watching over Miss Suzumiya.
Three years ago, that's when something very interesting happened.
And that is also when the powers I have now awakened inside me.

Kyon:
How's Haruhi involved in whatever happened three years ago?

Koizumi:
You see, the elders in the Organization believe that this world is sort of like a dream that a certain entity is showing us.
Because it's all just a dream, it'd be quite easy for that entity to alter our reality--it could change it, destroy it, even create a new world.
And we're pretty sure that we've found that entity right here.


Kyon:
You're saying that's Haruhi?

Koizumi:
For millennia, people have referred to such an entity as God or something similar.

Kyon:
Well done, Haruhi. You've got people calling you a god now.

Koizumi:
Just look at it this way for a moment.
You got espers like me as well as beings like Mikuru Asahina or Yuki Nagato all hanging around in the same place.
You think it's simply coincidence that we've all come together like this?
It's all happening because Miss Suzumiya wished it.
She wished for it three years ago.

Kyon:
So, are you saying that Haruhi remodeled the universe three years ago?

Koizumi:
Well, it would be more accurate to say that this world started three years ago.
It's better than saying it was remodeled.
Anyway, it's just a theory us espers have.

Kyon:
Whatever...
And just what do you esper guys wanna do with Haruhi?

Koizumi:
Listen, if this world upsets its God, it'd be destroyed and recreated in the blink of an eye.
We wanna prevent that from happening.
I mean I kind of like this place, warts and all, you know.

Kyon:
Why don't you just walk up to Haruhi and talk to her about it?


Koizumi:
Well, there're some members in the Organization that think we should do just that.
And others think that we should be more aggressive in stimulating her powers.
Either way, most of us think that this is definitely not something that we can easily get involved with.
The bottom line is that she doesn't yet realize her true potential.
If that's the case, the Organization feels it'd be best if she never finds out about her powers and lives happily ever after.

Kyon:
You're gonna let sleeping gods lie, huh?

Koizumi:
Good way of putting it.

Kyon:
You sure you guys aren't the ones dreaming this world up?

Koizumi:
I guess that's also a possibility.
But as of right here, right now, we're simply acting on the worst of the worst case scenarios that we can come up with.

Kyon:
I got an idea.
You're telling me you're an esper, right?
If that's really the case, then show me your power.
If you can do that, then I'll believe everything you've said to me.
For starters, how about you try heating up this cup of coffee here?


Koizumi:
While that would be rather convenient, my powers aren't like that.
In fact, most of the time, I don't have any powers at all.
It's only when all sorts of conditions are present that I can actually use them.
And like I said before, I believe I'll have the opportunity to show you in the near future.
I do apologize for speaking for such a long time.

Now excuse me, I think that's enough for today.
See you tomorrow!
Oh, by the way, the biggest mystery is definitely you.
I know it's kind of rude, but I did some checking up on you.
I hope you don't mind it.
I assure you... that you... are an ordinary human.

Mikuru:
Huh? Haaaaa...

Kyon:
I'm so sorry about that!
Jeez, you don't have to do everything Haruhi tells you to do.
For some reason, Haruhi never showed up to the clubroom that day.