Clannad>13. Garden of Memories

Tomoya:
You and I did meet - we met when we were children.
That means that all this time, you've known it was me.
I don't get it.
Why didn't you say anything?

Kotomi:
The first time you came to visit me in the library, I was so happy.
I didn't know what to say.
I thought after all these years you had finally come back; that you finally remembered.
But then, I realized that you didn't know who I was.
You weren't the same boy I knew from before.
But despite that, you became friends with me all over again.
Even though we had just met, even though you thought we were strangers, you still took care of me.
At that point, I didn't know what to think.
I didn't know if I wanted you to remember, or if I wanted you to forget.


- OP -

第13回 想い出の庭を (A Garden of Memories)


Kotomi's Mom:
Those who seek out truth must not be arrogant.
They must not think only of themselves.
They should never laugh at miracles just because they cannot be proven scientifically.
They must never hide their eyes from the beauty of this world.
Those were my father's words.
We never forget them.

Kotomi:
Daddy, why did you and Mommy name me Kotomi?

Kotomi's Dad:
Take a look around, Kotomi.

Kotomi:
Hm?

Kotomi's Dad:
Even though you can't see them with your eyes, this world that we live in is composed of countless little harps.
Harps are also called "koto," you know.

Kotomi:
Like the "koto" in my name?

Kotomi's Dad:
Do you know what is so amazing about those harps?
Even though there are enough of them to fill the entire world, each one has its own unique sound.
And when all of those different sounds come together, they create a single perfect melody.
And that's why this world is such a beautiful place.

Kotomi's Mom:
Your father always gets carried away once he starts talking about things like that.
The truth is, the most important things in life are always very simple.
Kotomi is Kotomi, written in three beautiful hiragana characters.
We love you more than anything else in the world.
You're our little treasure!

Kotomi:
Our house, our garden full of beautiful flowers, my loving father and mother...
That was everything to me - my entire world.

I've never seen you before.
What are you doing in my yard?

Tomoya:
I was playing around here and just wandered in.
Anyway, what's your name?

Kotomi:
Kotomi, written in three hiragana characters.
But you can call me Kotomi-chan.

Kotomi's Mom:
Oh, who's your cute little friend, Kotomi?

Kotomi:
Back then, I felt so alone when I went to school.
I was always reading books that none of the other children read.
And I was always thinking of things that none of the other children thought.
You weren't like the other kids.
I couldn't put my finger on it,
but something about you was different.

Kotomi's Dad:
A stuffed animal?

Kotomi:
Mm-hm. I want a big, fluffy teddy bear for my birthday!

Kotomi's Dad:
A teddy bear, huh?
Well, don't worry.
I'll find you the biggest, fluffiest teddy in the whole world!

Kotomi:
The truth is, I didn't care what I got for my birthday.
I remembered reading in a book somewhere that most girls ask their parents for stuffed animals.
So, to make things easier, I just pretended like I wanted one too.
But then...

What? A business trip?

Kotomi's Dad:
It came up at the last minute.
I'm sorry, but it's very important so I'm afraid Mommy and Daddy both have to go.

Kotomi:
But you promised!
You said all of us were gonna have a big party together for my birthday, remember?
Tomoya said he was gonna come too.
He said he was gonna bring all his friends and everything.

Kotomi's Mom:
It's all right, Kotomi.
I made you a nice birthday dinner.
Even if we aren't here, you can eat it with Tomoya and his friends, okay?

Kotomi:
Mommy and Daddy are a bunch of liars!
I hate you!

Kotomi's Dad:
Kotomi...

Kotomi's Mom:
Oh, I know!
We'll get you a teddy bear while we're on our trip.
The biggest teddy bear we can find!
We'll mail it back to you.

Kotomi:
I don't want a bear!
I hate you, you hear me?
I hate you!
I hate you!

In the end, no one showed up at my party.
The housekeeper suddenly got sick and I was left all alone.
And even though I waited all day, you never showed up with your friends.

Gentleman:
Excuse me, but, may I come inside?

Kotomi:
I'm sorry, but my parents said not to let strangers in the house.

Gentleman:
You mean, no one has come here to tell you about what happened to your parents?

Kotomi:
I stood there speechless as he explained it all.
It turned out that the plane my parents were on had broken down.
They crashed into the ocean in some faraway land.
The man said they were carrying a very important thesis with them.
He was there to see if Father had another copy of it in his study.
Since it was so important, he said, since it would have an impact on the entire world, he said, it must be found at any cost.

Go away... go away!

He must be a bad man, I thought.
He's trying to take away something important, something that belongs to Father.
I couldn't let him do it.

I promise I'll be a good girl from now on.
I'll never say anything selfish.
I'll study hard.
I'll read lots of books.
I'll grow up to be a good person, I promise.
So please, God.
I'm begging you.
I'll do anything.
Please, God.
Don't leave me alone.

TV:
They were on their way to the United States to deliver a special lecture at an international academic conference when the accident occurred.
A search is currently underway, but based on the circumstances surrounding the crash, it seems unlikely that any survivors will be found.

Kotomi:
Mommy, Daddy, where are you?
Please come back!
I'll be a good girl, I promise!
I promise I'll be a good girl...
So please come back...

Finally, I went into Father's study.
I was a bit nervous, really.
Normally, I wasn't allowed there, but it was the only place left to go.
When I saw that envelope on my father's desk, I knew it must be the thesis that the bad man wanted so much.
The little envelope was the reason that my mother and father were gone.
It was the reason I was so unhappy.
It didn't seem right.
Why was something so small so important?
It was selfish, but I didn't care about anyone else in the world.
All I wanted was to have my mother and father back.

Tomoya:
But why would you do that?

Kotomi:
I don't know.

Tomoya:
Are all these articles about the accident?

Kotomi:
In the beginning, I thought if I collected them all, it would help me atone for my sin.
In the place of the thesis I burned, I cut out every newspaper article about Mother and Father I could find, and put them up here.
But after a while, that didn't feel like nearly enough anymore.
So, whenever I saw Mother and Father's name in a book, I cut it out and saved it--just like the other articles.
Since then, I've studied as hard as I can, every day without rest. Because if I did that, I thought I could follow in Mother and Father's footsteps.
I didn't appreciate it at that time, but Mother and Father always used the most beautiful words to express how the earth was formed.
Now that I've grown up, I think that's something that everyone in the world should know.
It's a feeling that no one else can create, and that includes me.
Still, I feel that if I don't at least try, that God will never forgive me for burning my parents' thesis all those years ago.

Tomoya:
Kotomi...

Kotomi:
I never wanna have my heart broken like that ever again.
I can't stand to lose another loved one.
I need to be alone right now.


Teacher:
I see, so she told you everything?

Tomoya:
Yes, ma'am.
But have you heard from Kotomi today?

Teacher:
She said she might not be coming to class for a while.
Let me ask you. Did you know that there's talk of Ichinose going abroad to study?

Tomoya:
Studying abroad?

Teacher:
She might be entering a program where students with good grades can continue their studies in American colleges.
They may or may not decide to come back to Japan.
Ichinose didn't become interested in the program until recently.
But when I spoke to her on the phone this morning, she told me that she'd like to go ahead with it.


Nagisa:
So you mean, even though you haven't seen each other in years,
Kotomi still remembered who you were?

Tomoya:
That's right.
Although I feel a bit guilty since my memory hasn't held up quite as well as hers.
Anyway, I think I'm gonna try visiting her house again.

Nagisa:
If you don't mind I'd like to go with you.

Tomoya:
You should probably go to class instead.
After all, someone needs to tell Kyou and Fujibayashi what's going on.

Nagisa:
Well, I suppose so...


Tomoya:
Kotomi...

Nagisa:
Okazaki!

Tomoya:
Come on! Didn't I tell you to go to class?

Nagisa:
But third period was changed to study hall.
I have to say I was getting worried about you.
Are you taking care of her yard?

Tomoya:
Kinda.
It's not too much but I wanna do whatever I can to help.

Nagisa:
When I talked to Kyou and Ryou earlier, they said the exact same thing.
They wanna do whatever they can to help cheer Kotomi up.

Tomoya:
Oh, yeah?
And what are they planning to do?

Nagisa:
Sorry, it's a secret.

Tomoya:
Give me a hint.

Nagisa:
It's someone's birthday.

Tomoya:
Oh, I get it now.

Nagisa:
Ah, I guess maybe the hint was a little too obvious.

Tomoya:
Kotomi's birthday is this upcoming Saturday, right?

Nagisa:
Right.
But today is only Tuesday, so we still have four days.

Tomoya:
Then, pass this message on to the others.
Let's all do our best for Kotomi!

Nagisa:
Okay!
But still, even if they all try their best, I think you're the only one in the world who can get Kotomi to come back to school.

Tomoya:
Let's not exaggerate.

Nagisa:
I'm not exaggerating at all!


C L A N N A D
- クラナド -


Tomoya:
At this rate, I'll never get done.
Looks like I might need to buy some new tools too.
Well, there's always tomorrow, right?
Goodnight, Kotomi.

Tomoya:
Kotomi...
You must be home, right?

Hm?
I see. So this used to be a flower bed, huh?
It's starting to look a little better now, but I need to pick up the pace if I wanna finish this.
Gotta do something about that thing too.

Tomoya:
Looks like I'm gonna have to buy those gardening tools after all.
This is a lot more work than I thought it would be.

Nagisa:
Okazaki?

Tomoya:
Huh?

Kyou:
Ah.

Tomoya:
Hey!

Kyou:
So, what are you doing loitering around here, Tomoya?

Tomoya:
Just a little shopping.

Kyou:
Well, aren't you Mr. Money Bags then?

Tomoya:
I've been saving up some money from my part-time job, so I can get a place of my own some day.
So, anyway, what are you girls up to?

Nagisa, Ryou, Kyou:
Argh!

Kyou:
You jerk!
This is Kotomi's birthday present, or at least it was.

Ryou:
We got in touch with the student who donated the violin to the school.
After we explained the situation to her, she said we could have it.

Nagisa:
We asked Nishina for advice on how to fix it up.
And she said we should take it to a music store to have someone tune it for us.
We were on our way there just now when the accident happened.

Kyou:
And just for the record, that jerk on the motorcycle is a hundred percent at fault here.
I'm telling you, if I had a metal pipe right about now, I'd give him and his bike a beating they wouldn't forget!

Nagisa:
It was our fault too.

Ryou:
If we were more careful, this wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Kyou:
For the last time, I'm telling you it's not your fault!
No more putting yourselves down!

Tomoya:
I agree.
Anyway, staying here won't do us any good.
Let's try going to the music store.

Ryou, Nagisa, Kyou:
Mm!


Clerk:
I hate to say it, but with this much damage, it'd probably be cheaper just to buy a new one.

Kyou:
Now, hold on a sec!
You're taking advantage of our situation just so you can make a sale!

Tomoya:
That's going too far, Kyou.
He was just being honest with us.

Ryou:
Sorry, Sis.
But I think he's right.

Nagisa:
I'm sorry. This violin is really important to us.
I know it's asking a lot,
but can you please help us?

Clerk:
Hmm...

Ryou:
We gave it our best, but I guess it was really hopeless after all.

Kyou:
I'm telling you guys, he was totally trying to take advantage of us!

Tomoya:
I don't know.
With the shape that thing is in, it probably would be cheaper to buy a new one.

Kyou:
Kotomi has to have this violin for her birthday and that's final!

Nagisa:
Let's try checking a different music store, okay?
Just 'cause one guy said he can't do it doesn't mean we should give up without a fight!


Clerk:
Well, yeah. I get what you're saying.
But... even if I could repair your violin for you, there's no way I could finish the job by Saturday.

Ryou:
In that case, how long would it take to finish?

Clerk:
Well, at this point, I'm afraid it's kind of hard to say. It could be as little as one month or as many as six.

Kyou:
No way!
How does two days sound?

Tomoya:
You know what?
Next time, we're gonna leave you outside.

Clerk:
Besides, even if I could repair it, there's no guarantee that it'll sound the same as the day before it was broken.

Kyou:
Man, this is really frustrating.

Tomoya:
Well, yeah. What do you expect?
With the shape that thing was in, we were lucky the store even accepted it.

Ryou:
I'm more worried about how much the repairs are going to cost.

Kyou:
Well, I'm sure we'll be able to come up with something.
If worse comes to worse, we can hold a fundraiser.

Tomoya:
Yeah, but your idea of fundraising is more like blackmail if you ask me.

Kyou:
Just a few days ago, we were all having such a good time together.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Nagisa:
I was wondering... do you guys think Kotomi is still at home?


Kyou:
Wow! You've really made a lot of progress!

Ryou:
I can't believe you did all that work by yourself!
I'm really impressed, Okazaki!

Tomoya:
What? Are you kidding me?
As things are now, I don't think I'll finish in time for Saturday.

Kyou:
Kotomi? You're here, aren't you?
Come out and talk to us!
Kotomi!

Ryou:
Please calm down.
It's probaly better if we don't try to force her.

Tomoya:
She's right, and you're disturbing the neighbors.

Nagisa, Kyou, Ryou:
Mm!

Nagisa:
Okazaki, if you don't mind, we'd like to help out with the yard too!

Tomoya:
I appreciate it but it's getting kind of late.
If you guys don't head home soon, your parents are gonna start worrying about you.

Kyou:
In that case, I guess I'm taking off!

Nagisa:
I know you want to help, but please try not to push yourself too hard.

Tomoya:
Don't worry about it.
After I organize the tools, I'll head home too.

Ryou:
Goodnight, Okazaki.
See you later.

Nagisa:
Try to get some rest.

Tomoya:
All righty then. I guess I'll put in a little more work.

Tomoya:
What am I forgetting?
What secrets do I have buried in my childhood memories?
Is Kotomi sleeping right now?
If she is, is she having a nightmare?
Everything that I'm doing right now, it may all be for nothing.
If I find out that all my struggles have been in vain, then what am I going to do?
If that turns out to be true, will I be strong enough to go on?

Nagisa:
Okazaki!
We're back already.
Did you miss us?

Kyou:
Nagisa read you like a book.
Just like she said, you're still here working.

Ryou:
Please let us help.
I promise we won't get in the way.
Please, Okazaki?

Tomoya:
All right then, how about thirty more minutes?

Nagisa, Ryou:
Sure!

Tomoya:
That's right.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
I'm not alone anymore.

Nagisa:
Huh?

Tomoya:
Is something wrong?

Nagisa:
I think I just saw the curtain on the second floor move.

Tomoya:
Come on, just a little bit longer!

Kyou, Ryou, Nagisa:
Right!