Ed:
Discarding two. Jeez. More junk. Just discard already.

Al:
Sorry. I'll take two, as well. Holy. Hey, brother, want to double the bet?

Ed:
Suit yourself.

Al:
Sorry. I've got a full house.

Ed:
I'm sorry, too. Royal flush.

Al:
No way! I thought for sure I'd win for once! Okay, this time I'm gonna--

Ed:
I quit. I'm bored.

Al:
Bored? Bored of what? Winning? You haven't lost yet. Why don't you lose on purpose for a while?

Ed:
It's not about the cards, Al. It's who we gotta see. Mustang.

Al:
You don't want to meet with him?

Ed:
Of course I don't, Al. Our best lead on the stone turned out to be fake. All this searching, we've got nothing to show for it.

Al:
But we've done lots of good.

Ed:
Good? Good goes on a military report in a side bar for collateral damage. I can see his face. His sarcastic little quips. Just thinking about it makes me completely nauseous.

Al:
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth.


Al:
You sure it's okay to stop? We're supposed to go straight to East City.

Ed:
It's right on the way. Maybe we'll find something about the Philosopher's Stone and avoid a lecture. Besides, Aquroya's a tourist hot spot. I've always wanted to check it out.

Al:
Feels kinda like we're playing hooky, don't you think?

Ed:
Stop being so-

Al:
What do we have here? What an oddly good hand of cards! Ed! You cheater, come back! I want everything you won from me! And I thought I was just unlucky!

Detective:
Keep running, gentlemen! I want zero mistakes! Tonight is the night we catch her!
Finally a dead end, Psiren. Can't walk on water.
What are you waiting for, boys?

Al:
It is a beautiful city, isn't it?

Ed:
I'll say. Aquroya, the city of water, and perennial tourist magnet. It sure beats the heck out of that East City dustbowl and having to see the Colonel's know-it-all grin, don't you think? What the hell's your problem, pal?

Al:
Well, it is the city of water.

Ed:
Hey, shouldn't we talk first?

Detective:
You're coming to the station. I got some questions for you, alchemist.
So, you're telling me you're with the state? And that you're the famous Fullmetal, hero of the people.

Ed:
How many times do I have to say it, chief? That watch should be proof enough.

Detective:
Sure, if it's real. But I have my doubts. I say you're too short for a hero.

Ed:
Who you calling so small you want to crunch like an ant?

Al:
Brother, please. He didn't say anything like that.

Detective:
Sorry for the third degree, kid. Had to test you. We've got a thief on our backs named Psiren, and we're all a little on edge.

Al:
Psiren?

Detective:
Yeah. Real name's unknown. Only lead we got is she uses alchemy. So I thought you just might be connected.
But you say you're with the state, and the Fullmetal Alchemist, no less.

Ed:
Damn that guy! He kept saying the same things for three hours straight! He probably wears that hat to hide the hole in his brain.

Al:
Still, doesn't it concern you? A criminal using alchemy to steal?

Ed:
Oh crud.

Al:
Brother? You don't look so good.

Ed:
My stomach feels...

Doctor:
Well, it looks like a little bit of food poisoning, that's all.

Al:
It's not from eating too much?

Ed:
Oh shut up.

Doctor:
We'll need to give you an injection. Clara?

Ed and Al:
Injection?

Doctor:
Yeah. Just a poke.

Ed:
No! Get away from me! I don't need it!

Al:
It's just a little needle. You'll be fine.

Ed:
I feel better! I'm cured!

Al:
Don't be a baby. Take off your coat.

Ed:
I hate you, Al! Why do you want to sell out your own brother! You're evil!

Al:
You don't mean that.

Ed:
I'll turn you all into fish!

Clara:
There. You're all done, Ed. That didn't hurt at all, did it?

Al:
Fast work. You didn't even notice.

Clara:
And after all that fuss.

Ed:
Yeah, so what's your point?

Clara:
We all have to grow up sometime, right?

Ed:
So, is the rude commentary included in the bill?

Al:
She was so good at her job. Smart. And gorgeous, too. I can't stop thinking about her.

Ed:
You've got the weirdest taste in women, Al. She was a bad gift in pretty wrapping.

Clara:
That won't do, Misses Crabnick. You can't get better on an empty stomach.

Old Woman:
I'm sorry. I just can't get it down. It hurts my teeth.

Clara:
Well that bread's too tough, isn't it? We'll have to make you something tastier.

Mother:
You all right with that, Ed?

Ed:
Of course. Just give me a minute.

Al:
That looks dangerous. Let me do it, brother. You'll hurt yourself.

Ed:
I'm fine! Back off!

Mother:
There we go. Why don't you boys eat it?

Ed:
You still with me, Al?

Al:
Yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking. That nurse, Clara, there's something really giving, calming about her. She kind of reminds me of Mom.

Ed:
Don't be ridiculous! That woman's nothing like her.

Old Woman:
I've gotten so clumsy.

Clara:
Don't worry about it. It's just a piece of fruit.

Al:
Good as new.

Clara:
You're alchemists. I didn't realize that.

Detective:
Mister Elric! Mister Elric!

Ed:
Let's make a tape saying I'm innocent. You can play it back all you want.

Detective:
I know you are. I know. Ah. And this time I'm asking you for a favor.
Officers! Presenting State Alchemist, Master Edward Elric! Salute!

Al:
Jeez.

Ed:
So, what do you want?

Detective:
First I want to apologize for earlier, all those questions. I did what you said, sir, and got in touch with Colonel Mustang at the Eastern Command Center. I paid long distance and everything. He sounded nice. Angry, but nice. He said you really are a state alchemist. I sure pegged you wrong.

Ed:
Like I said.

Detective:
Yes. Indeed, sir. In light of this new information, I wanted to ask you.

Ed:
I'll need more.

Detective:
As much as you like.

Detective:
This is it. Psiren's next mark. With you on our side, that thief's hold on this city will finally unravel.

Ed:
Yeah. I'll do whatever I can tonight, but that's a lot of people, a lot of ways for things to go wrong.

Detective:
That's Psiren's M.O. Most thieves don't announce their heists before they happen. Psiren tells every paper in the country. Journalists, thrill-seekers, even Psiren groupies flock to see. It's become a spectator sport.

Al:
It is quite a following.

Detective:
Well the stardom ends tonight. It's amazing how quick your popularity fades when you're wearing stripes. I'm gonna check the security station.

Al:
I'm kind of surprised you took this job.

Ed:
Guess I'm just curious. Yet another way to use alchemy to do wrong.

Ed:
Clever move. Come on, Al!
Hey! Hold it!
Alchemy's the greatest thing we humans have going for us. And yet here you are stealing with it and making things even worse! Not to mention I put up with a very mind-numbing interrogation because of you. I'd say you owe me a major apology.
You've just been pinned, Psiren.
I didn't mean that!

Psiren:
You've never fought with a woman before, have you? Makes for a whole new style of action.

Ed:
Hey! That was a dirty trick!

Psiren:
It's a shame I can't show you my face. It's a real treat.
Sleep tight, pipsqueak.

Ed:
Who are you calling a pipsqueak? You know, I'd be tall too in heels!
Al? Al!
You'd think I could keep track of a seven foot suit of armor.

Clara:
You!

Ed:
What a surprise! The kind nurse is really Psiren, or do all the women here have tattoos on their chests?

Clara:
I... I don't know what you mean. But I can't talk. I just came in to get some medicine.

Ed:
Right, and medicine that you manufacture using alchemy. Now drop the act, you lying fraud!

Clara:
Come on now, little man, who's telling lies? I did say that I was beautiful under the mask.

Ed:
That's hardly the point!

Al:
Brother? Brother, bad news.
Is something wrong?

Ed:
What do you think, Al?
Look at her! That nurse you thought was so great, she's Psiren. The transmutation circle's proof enough.

Clara:
The world isn't black and white, like you think. You kids are too young to understand. A lot can happen in a lifetime.

Ed:
Please.

Al:
I understand.
I just found out. This hospital's scheduled to be demolished. Clara, you became a thief out of necessity, and compassion. You're trying to save this place, aren't you?

Clara:
Yeah. That's right. You think I like this, flinching at every passing patrol?
But this hospital needs money, for all its patients. I needed to...

Al:
See, Ed. I told you she had heart. Just like Mom.

Detective:
Mister Elric! Mister Elric! A new notice from Psiren! Am I interrupting something? Mister Elric?

Ed:
Looks like you've got less security this time.

Detective:
Yeah. Psiren's made mules of my men too many times. I'm trying something different. We've got a little trap rigged up in that mansion, right next to her target.

Ed:
A trap?

Detective:
Don't worry, you'll see it soon enough. No one will call our force incompetent anymore! I'll hang her little suit over my desk. But stick around. We'll need you if anything goes wrong.

Al:
What are you going to do?

Psiren:
Great. Now what?
Thanks, kid. It was a good break. Why'd you help?

Ed:
It's nothing personal. I wasn't helping you. I know a little about bending the rules sometimes to do what's right. It's for the hospital. What's so funny?

Psiren:
Nothing. You just sounded so grown up.

Ed:
I am a grown up, okay!

Psiren:
Is that so? Well as a grown up woman, I always repay my favors. Is there something you'd like me to do for you, Mister all-grown-man?

Ed:
Actually, there is one thing. You're a savvy alchemist. You must've heard of the Philosopher's Stone. I want you to tell me anything that you know about it. I have to get it, no matter what, or how long it takes!

Psiren:
Sorry, Edward. I can't help you with that. But how about this? If you ever do figure out where a stone is, tell me and I'll be happy to steal it for you.

Ed:
Hey. I'm happy that you can do this for the hospital.

Psiren:
Yeah, thanks to you, Ed.

Ed:
What's going on here? Don't tell me that flake tricked us.

Al:
That couldn't be! Clara's the last person who would do something like that. This has to be a mistake!

Ed:
The only mistake here is inside that metal skull of yours, Al! She's robbed you of your senses, and played you like a freaking harp!

Al:
Don't say that, brother. You know what'll happen!

Clara:
Brothers shouldn't argue. It's sinful.

Al:
Am I imagining this?

Ed:
Wish you were.

Clara:
It's terrible about the hospital. I tried to save it, but I couldn't get the money in time. I was devastated. The guilt was too much. I didn't know how to go on. So I became a nun.

Al:
Poor Clara.

Ed:
Yeah, I bet.

Clara:
It's the truth, Ed. But those who do believe will be saved. The great Lord has told me there are other places that need me, like this convent we're standing in. It's scheduled to be demolished, too! I only pray I can help!

Al:
You'll do it, Clara. You just need to try harder this time. We'll help however we can. Brother! More news!

Ed:
Yeah, what is it?

Al:
There's saying Psiren struck again! The whole city's in an uproar! She did it. The convent is gonna be saved!
It has to be a mistake. Maybe she couldn't find someone to sell what she-

Ed:
Have your brains turned to mush? She's a con-artist, Al! She's been snowing us for a good laugh! The only saving she's doing is in her bank account!

Al:
Don't start that again! That's not how she is!

Clara:
Do I need to put you two boys in a corner?

Ed:
Great! And which dress-up-doll outfit are you wearing today, Clar-

Al:
I know! You're a school teacher, right? You're working for a school that's about to be shut down. And this time you won't be too late. Isn't that right, Clara? Isn't it?

Clara:
You guessed it. But, maybe we shouldn't talk about it with the K-I-Ds?

Ed:
Like you care. Stop jerking us around. What are you, really? Nothing but a thief, after all? A common criminal, who uses alchemy for her own selfish gains?

Clara:
That's a very good question, Ed. But as I tell my children, students, the best answers, we find on our own.

Man:
Extra! Extra! Phantom Thief Psiren announces her next big-time mark!

Ed:
Why do you people buy into that junk? She's nothing but a thief who's feeding off of the attention.

Man:
What are you talking about? We owe Psiren for saving this place. Attention's the least we can give. She's Aquroya's star of hope.

Ed:
You're gonna have to explain that one to me.

Man:
We're the city of water. And we're sinking by several feet a year. Come see us in five year's time, and the whole place will be at the bottom of the lake. News like that isn't exactly good for the economy. When it went public, everyone who could left. The rest of us, well... We got lonely, sad. That's when she appeared. Psiren. Like a lit match on a fuse, the city burst into life. Reporters came from all over, tourists flocked here again for the chance to see her. Thanks to Psiren, we're having one last bloom before we drown.

Al:
What do you think, brother? I mean, it kind of makes sense. Maybe Clara really did become a thief to save the city, in a different way than we thought.

Ed:
Maybe. I guess the only thing I can say for sure is this. She tricked me, the Fullmetal Alchemist. And she's at least going to pay for that.

Psiren:
I thought you'd show up. It's phenomenal, isn't it? A date here, on the water, in the moonlight, just the two of us.

Ed:
Shut up, thief.

Psiren:
Oh dear, romance me with small talk! Yes, a thief. Someone obsessed with objects that don't belong to them. Like the Philosopher's Stone.

Ed:
Maybe so. It's funny. Every crook I meet wants to tell me how much I am just like them. But there's a big difference between us, and the burdens we bear.

Psiren:
Yes, bear. Love to. See ya, kid.

Ed:
Can't breathe!

Psiren:
That was pretty sharp, kid. I'm sure you're gonna be a fine grown-up. When you are, let's do this deal again. It's always more fun when it's a woman and a man.

Al:
Clara.

Psiren:
But let me offer you one last little kernel before they haul me off. About a certain funny stone. Go to the city of Xenotime and take a good look. I've heard there's someone there who's researching the components behind it. Maybe he could help you out.

Ed:
Xenotime.
Come on, Al, are you still holding a grudge on me? I had no choice, you know. I was the officer, and she was the crook. We just played our parts.

Al:
That's not true. She's not a crook. You've told me plenty of times that you can't always go by the rules, or follow the norms when you're doing what's right. Clara, she's kind. And giving. And heroic! You think the same thing, brother. I'm sure you do.

Ed:
I don't know, Al. When it comes to her, I guess I never will.

Psiren:
Hey. It's an oven in here. I don't guess you'd mind unzipping me a little?


Ed:
Fullmetal Alchemist.

Al:
Episode 11.
The Other Brothers Elric Part 1.
Another brother. Another me. And one red stone that binds us all together.