Gonna be the Twin-Tail!! > 01. Earth is a Twin-Tail World

ERINA: To you new students, congratulations on your admittance. My name is Erina, and I'm the student council president. I'm so pleased to have each and every one of you as classmate, and I can't wait to be able to meet you all to get to know you better. It's a special day, a day I hope you all remember for many years to come.
SOJI: There're so many twin-tails here. I don't even know what to do! First, there's that older girl - simple, but very cute. I'll call her "Strawberry Twin." And her! Well, not her... That girl is sporting a short but sweet look that I haven't seen for years. What I definitely think she's pulling it off! And then there is that president. She's got the greatest tails of them all! Well, such long, glorious and perfect crafted twin-tails! Look at the graceful, gently-round craws down at the tips of tails! She must've spent hours crafting into perfection. The way they bounce in concert with her hand and body motions! It's like watching a princess waltzing on the dance floor! I never thought that a place this awesome existed! I adore the twin-tail heaven! These are gonna be the best three years of my entire life!
---
SOJI: Yep. Nothing beats twin-tails, all right.
AIKA: (Why are you spacing out, loser? Have you filled out your question, idiot?)
SOJI: (Mind your own business! I'm finishing it now!)
TARUI: 'Kay. Time's up, so please pass them forward right away. Uh-oh, someone forgot to fill their name in at the top of the form.
SOJI: Yeah, that's probably mine. Sorry about that.
TARUI: Ah, Soji Mitsuka, right? Well, um, you'd like to establish a new club? Interesting. What is one doing in a "Twin-Tail Club"?
SOJI: Yes, sucks...
AIKA: Idiot.
--------<OP>--------
AIKA: You know, there's no way that's gonna happen. How embarrassing for you.
SOJI: I told you, it was an accident. I wasn't thinking clearly!
AIKA: That makes it even worse. Dirty twin-tail hound! Hey Soji, look! The twin-tails you wuv sho much! (N.B. wuv sho := love so の舌足らずな言い方)
SOJI: Stop that! Impressive.
AIKA: Hmph. Oh, shut up. I've been better than you ever since we were little kids, and you know it. I kicked your butt then, and I can still kick it now.
SOJI: Yeah, right! You could never take...
MIHARU: Soji, you should XXX to be home, making some lunch. Cook XXX a serving for two!
SOJI: Oh Mom! Come on!
AIKA: How are you today?
MIHARU: I'm fine. I was just doing some shopping. Like I said, Soji, make sure you cook XXX for two! If you are hungry, you can have him for a dessert. XXX young again.
SOJI: Oh, Geez... Hmm? Are you okay?
AIKA: What?! Yeah, I'm perfectly fine.
SOJI: But your face is quite red.
AIKA: Idiot.
SOJI: Come on, what is the deal?
AIKA: If my face is red, it's because you say stupid things.
SOJI: What stupid thing did I say?
---
AIKA: You know, Soji. You could actually start a twin-tail's club for real. And hey, I might even be willing to join. And exchange for a whole year's worth of free dessert!
Soji: That's a crappy deal. Come on, isn't it enough that you and I are old friends? Doesn't that count?
Aika: We're not friends. We're just stuck with each other.
Soji: Hmm? What?
Aika: Is she a customer?
Soji: Uh, sorry, miss? But we're closed for the rest of the day, so you have to leave.
Aika: Hey, Soji...
Soji: Oh, sorry. My bad.
Aika: No, it's okay.
Twoearle: Do you mind if I sit next to you?
Soji: Eh...
Twoearle: Please forgive me my intrusion. Oh, Geez.
Aika: Just hold right there!
Twoearle: Pardon?
Aika: Hey, who are you?!
Twoearle: Oh, don't worry.
Aika: I will worry! What exactly do you think you're doing?!
Twoearle: There's no use trying to attack me, so don't waste your time, Mr. Female Impersonator.
Aika: Who are you calling me "Impersonator"?!
Soji: Hey, calm down! I'm sure she didn't mean that.
Twoearle: It was just a joke. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Twoearle.
Soji: I've never heard that name. Cool.
Twoearle: Thank you. Tell me something. Do you like twin-tails?
Soji: Yeah, I love them!
Twoearle: Then take this. It's okay, there's no reason to be afraid. Just take it. Please.
Aika: All right. That's enough, weirdo. What exactly is that thing? Some kind of weird perversion?!
Twoearle: I promise you that there's nothing shady about me at all.
Aika: At this point there's XXX you XXX say convinced me you are a definition of shady!
Twoearle: I'm sorry but I don't have time to explain right now. Please, you have to put it on!
Aika: Don't do it, Soji. It's probably just some cheap dime store jewelry. If you put that thing on, she'll try to charge you for it.
Twoearle: Look, I don't want your money. But I'm begging you, do as I say. Just stick in it, and I'll be all right. It will probably hurt a bit, but in the end I know it will be able to make it through. Please, XXX it around that big, strong thing of yours, and make sure your strap good and tight!
Aika: Don't make it sound dirty!
Twoearle: Wow, I guess we know whose mind is now dirtier.
Soji: Well, all right, just take it easy, Aika! You too, Miss Twoearle. Whoa. (Actually, now I got a good look at her, she would look amazing in twin-tails!)
Twoearle: Please you have to trust me! Put it on right now, and I promise I'll do anything you ask of me!
Soji: Wait! Anything?!
Twoearle: Yes, and I don't care what it is either! Just tell me what you want. If it's within my power, I will make it so.
Soji: Wow, really?!
Aika: Well, Soji! What are you waiting for? She said anything. I'm betting that you ask her, love perv, you-know-what?
Soji: Uh, don't be mad!
Twoearle: So that's what you want, huh? And in that case, go on and grab a couple of handsful. Don't be shy, it's perfectly fine. And I think you'll find they're surprisingly soft. Go ahead. You can even squeeze them if you like!
Soji: Wait, what are you...?
Twoearle: Should I take them out XXX see you?
Aika: Listen up, airbag! Back away, or I'll rip those things off.
Twoearle: This is none of your business.
Aika: None of my business?!
Twoearle: There's no time to argue! Don't you understand? If we don't do something right now, all of the twin-tails will vanish!
Soji: What did you say?! What do you mean, all of the twin-tails will vanish?! Tell me this is some kind of sick joke, please!
Twoearle: Gotcha! I'll explain everything later. For now, it's important that you come with me.
---
Aika: Oh, Soji, what happened?
Soji: Wait, where are we?
Twoearle: I'm sorry for all the confusion. But I thought this would be faster than explaining.
Aika: Soji! You see where we are!? That's the exhibition hall!
Soji: You're kidding me! But that's like a 20-minute drive from where we live!
Aika: All right. Spill it! What did you do to us!
Twoearle: My apologies, Miss Aika. I didn't intend to bring you along, but you have XXX been inside
the effective radius. Oh...
Soji: Hold on!
Twoearle: Are you all right?!
Soji: Hey, doesn't that girl go to our school?
Aika: Yeah, she is an upperclassman.
Soji: Wait, that's Strawberry Twin!
Aika: Huh?
Soji: I'm positive. She's a senior. She loves her twin-tails a lot. She always kept them neat and tidy.
Aika: You're weird.
Twoearle: Her twin-tails are to blame. That's why she ended up like this.
Strawberry Twin: Where am I? What happened to me?
Soji: What happened to your hair?! At the last time I saw you, you had magnificent twin-tails!
Aika: Really?! That's your question?!
Strawberry Twin: What are you talking about?
Soji: Your hairstyle! It was in twin-tails, right?
Strawberry Twin: Uh-uh. No. That's insane. I'd never wear my hair like that, not in million years.
Soji: Oh, she forgot!
Twoearle: That's because the Elemelians attacked her, which means she had twin-tail attributes stolen from her.
Soji: What do you mean?
Twoearle: In other words, her passion or love for twin-tails has been removed from her personality altogether.
Soji: Who are they?
Twoearle: They are bad guys. Elemelians!
Soji: Whoa...
Lizard Guildy: Yes! At this rate, we'll have them all in our clutches - every last twin-tail in the whole world will be ours!
Aika: Hey, Soji, I think that guy might be your doppelganger.
Soji: Don't be ridiculous!
Lizard Guildy: She must be here. The question is where.
Asuka's mother: Asuka, no!
Asuka: Mama! Mama! XXX!
Lizard Guildy: Oh! The mighty power of the twin-tails is formidable, and I have a mission to accomplish! And I must not succumb!
It's too much! All of you, listen! Bring them here right away!
Go on! Your furry friends want you to play!
Silence! We're right at an important juncture!
What? The ultimate twin-tail?!
Soji: I know those twin-tails anywhere - It's the student council president!
Erina: I don't know who you are or what you want. But you'd better let her go, right now!
Lizard Guildy: I'm afraid I can't do that.
Erina: She's nothing but a little girl. Why does she matter to you?
Lizard Guildy: I have orders and I follow them. Personally, I hate having to do this sort of thing, but for the greater good, it must be done. Which is why I'm going to take your attribute strength.
Erina: Wait, my attribute strength?
Lizard Guildy: Yes, your twin-tail power. Let it abide forever within the sacred ring!
Soji: No, Madam President! I'll make them pay! How can they do this to the president? Her twin-tails are so sublime! A picture of true perfection! Tell me what should I do, Twoearle? This is gone too far. The reason you brought me here is because I have the power to stop them, right?
Twoearle: That's just the attitude I was hoping for. Well, Mr. Soji, use the bracelet to transform yourself.
Soji: Transform?
Twoearle: That bracelet is a device that produces a combat suit which increases your physical abilities. Once you transform, you should be able to easily hold your own in fight with those monsters.
Soji: Oh, awesome!
Aika: Hey, hold on a second! What does this "transform" mean? Is it safe? Because there is a chance he's getting hurt, there is no way of letting him do it!
Soji: No, I have to. Those evil monsters are going after twin-tails! I can't just stand by and do nothing!
Twoearle: Glad to hear it. All you need do is wish hard with all your being! That will activate the bracelet's power.
Soji: All right, then!
Tailred: Wow, talk about the amazing set of twin-tails! Wait, that voice! Is that really me?!
Aika: Hey, what the heck is going on?!
Twoearle: Soji is wearing an odd powerful armor. The only chance we have to defeat these monsters. Tail Gear!
Aika: I meant, why the heck has Soji just turned into a girl?!
Twoearle: Listen, Miss Aika! In order to obtain a tremendous power like this, the fact is, it requires an equally tremendous sacrifice! Why does this sacrifice have to take the form of transforming into a girl? I don't know. Let's just say that it's a mystery.
Aika: What?
Twoearle: More importantly, aren't you a little concerned about whether or not Mr. Soji can win?
Aika: Ah, oh yeah!
Lizard Guildy: What incredible elemela! She is without a doubt the strongest twin-tail bearer I have ever encountered. Everyone! Take her now!
Tailred: Whoa, this many of them right off the bat?! Twoearle! What am I supposed to do?! How can I defeat them?!
Lizard Guildy: She took out those Ultiroids in an instant. What unbelievable power this is! Who are you, twin-tail?
Tailred: Huh?
Twoearle: Go on, say something! This is your chance to make a big introduction!
Tailred: Good call. All right... I'll tell you what I am, monster man! Yes, my name is... What's my name?
Aika: What is this, a comedy hour?!
Twoearle: Just pick a name. I'll leave it to you.
Tailred: Okay, then. Well... yeah! My name is Tailred!
I think I jumped a little too far.
Twoearle: Listen, you have to focus! You created that jumping gear by your own will, Soji! There's no reason why you can't control it!
Tailred: Okay, I can do this. Right! Wah! Oh you are really close!
Lizard Guildy: Powerful, beautiful one, would you do me a small favor and hug this?
Tailred: Wah! He is a creeper! Wah! Don't I have at least some kind of weapons or something?!
Twoearle: Listen, Soji! If you just touch your ribbons and wish really hard, weapons will materialize!
Tailred: Ribbons? All right, then. Blazer Blade, go!
Lizard Guildy: What?! Not bad. But I will not be beaten. Not until... Not until I hand all over these!
Aika: That monster... How did he survive such an amazing attack?!
Twoearle: He's tenacious. That's for sure.
Lizard Guildy: Here comes my ultimate technique! Super-secret attack like when a doll is held in the arms of a little girl, and enjoys the companionship of its owner - Lightning Spark!
Tailred: Aura Pillar!
Lizard Guildy: Nice save you have then. Take this!
It can't be... No way! I can't move!
Tailred: Brake Release Attack! Grand... Blazer!
Lizard Guildy: I-I thank you for this. Because of your tremendous strength, I finally learned the true power and beauty of twin-tails! I beg of you! Now I'm at the end, please allow me to touch your twin-tails!
Tailred: You, yuck, no way!
Lizard Guildy: She's so adorable!
Tailred: What in the world is this?
Strawberry Twin: Huh? Oh, my! Where am l...?
Asuka: Mommy, I'm okay!
Asuka's mother: Everything is all right now.
Erina: Excuse me! Thank you so much for saving us! You are one powerful girl.
Tailred: I'm never a girl! I mean, I am, obviously, but what I mean is looks can be deceiving, you can't judge a book by its cover.
Erina: Gosh, you fought so beautifully and with such incredible grace! For someone so tiny, you showed a so tremendous amount of strength and bravery. I'm so impressed and I don't know what to say! Ah, yeah, I guess I don't know what to say either. Well, will you please tell me who you are?
Tailred: Ah, sure, why not...? I'm... a champion of justice, yeah.
Erina: So, will I ever see you again?
Tailred: Mm, of course. I'll be here, as long as people like you love twin-tails.
Mikoto: We were on our way! Don't you worry?! Are you okay? You are not hurt, are you?
Erina: No. I'm fine, actually. Uh... Wait, don't go! What's your name?!
Tailred: The name is Tailred, and I'll see you soon! Bye!
Erina: I'll be looking forward to it.
Dragguildy: Listen up, everyone! Our search for the ultimate twin-tail has finally come to end! Victory will be ours!
--------<ED>--------
Aika: So who are these Elemelians? They seem like a bunch of perverts to me.
Twoearle: You must not underestimate them! They are fearsome foes who have already conquered countless numbers of worlds! To that end, the name of the organization they've assembled is "Ultimaguil."
Soji: I get it. So the generic term for the monsters in Ultimaguil is "Elemelians"?
Twoearle: Yes. Mr. Soji, please make sure you put that long, thick, big, strong what's it called of yours to good use next time.
Soji & Aika: It's called a wrist!
Twoearle: Next time: A twin-tail mystery!?
Soji: Tail on!