Haruhi-chan > Episode 9

Haruhi-chan:
The SOS Brigade's going to make a melodrama.
I just wanna shake thing up around here 'cause it's starting get boring.
I mean, every time we have a quiz, the same thing always happens, Kyon ends up exploding.

Kyon:
It's not like I wanna explode!

Haruhi-chan:
We're gonna go around the room right now, and I want everyone to give me an idea for a story.
You first, Kyon.

Kyon:
Wait, I, what?!
You're not even listening.
Okay, um, here's an idea. It's typical, but we could have the main character dying from a disease or something.

Haruhi-chan:
Great idea!

Kyon:
Overreact much?

Haruhi-chan:
It's genius... Our tragic hero staring death straight in the eye...
Brilliant, yes, good..., good one, Kyon...

Kyon:
Oh, cut it out. You're embarrassing me.

Haruhi-chan:
Okay, Koizumi, what d'you got?
You think your idea can top Kyon's?

Koizumi:
I'll give it a shot.
How about a story with a romantic triangle like the ones you see daytime soap operas?

Haruhi-chan:
Stealing someone else's lover! Love then hate, then revenge!
It's perfect!

Kyon:
You're feeling all right?

Haruhi-chan:
I'll be okay. Just gimme a second.
My vision's little blurry, that's all.

Kyon:
If your vision's blurry, you're not okay!

Yuki:
Otaku.

Haruhi-chan:
Ah!

Mikuru:
Or a maid.

Haruhi-chan:
Ahh!
Supply and demand... We'll give the otaku what they wanna see...
Welcome home, master...

Kyon:
I am totally lost now.


Haruhi-chan:
All right, I came up with the story using all of the ideas we thought of.
I want you guys to check it out and tell me what you think.
It's called "The Gift of the Maid Part 2: Battle for Stolen Love With Only One Month to Live".

Kyon:
It sounds like some kind of cheesy game show!
And why is it "Part 2"?

Haruhi-chan:
A title pretty much gives away all the kung fu action.

Kyon:
No, it doesn't! There's nothing kung fu about it!

Haruhi-chan:
Well, it is about the stolen love.

Kyon:
Okay, then. Let's go with that. Picturing it.

Haruhi-chan:
All of the characters in the story are maids.

Kyon:
Us too?!

Haruhi-chan:
Everyone in the story's a maid, and they love maids, too.
They get into crazy fights to decide who loves the maids the most.

Kyon:
They could decide in a more maid-ly manner.

Mikuru:
So at the end of the month all of the characters die?

Haruhi-chan:
If the fighting doesn't kill 'em first.

Kyon:
What are you saying?! You should die!

Mikuru:
Okay, it's the story's about stolen love.
Then who's going to become the hero couple at the end?

Haruhi-chan:
Well, the last two maids standing, of course.

Mikuru:
The last two, huh? But the only characters left in the end are Kyon and Koizumi's.

Haruhi-chan:
Uh-huh, 'cause only guys could survive a fight that brutal.

Mikuru:
Uh...

Haruhi-chan:
Hm?

Mikuru:
You like that, huh, Mu-chan.


Kyon:
According to this, the first battle is between you and me, Nagato.

Yuki:
So it seems.

Kyon:
Scene one, Nagato's Aerial Chop.
It has to look authentic, so I want you to really hit him.
This attack will break Kyon's bones in about 26 places.
Then, Kyon uses his first-aid power up and becomes invincible.
He wins, just barely.

Hang on, you are gonna be careful not to kill me, right?


Yuki:
Chop.

Kyon:
Aaaaugh!
I'm turning into light!

Haruhi-chan:
And we still ended with an explosion.