Sgt. Frog > 017b. Night Of The Living Room!

Narrator:
It was a dark and scary night. I'd just wet myself from fear. That was last Tuesday playing Bingo at the senior center, but tonight is pretty boring and there's nothing to be afra--

Giroro:
*@#&%(#!!

Narrator:
WAAAH! Right out of my fur coats!

Keroro:
Hahaha! That's silly! That was supposed to be scary, was it!?

Natsumi:
QUIET! Ugh, how am I supposed to record my --- vlogs when you're making so much noise!?

Keroro:
It's The Ring! They had all these dead horses on a beach!

Tamama:
And that, that guy in the bathtub!

Keroro:
He electrocuted himself! It's hilarious!

Tamama:
And Pekoponians think this is scary? Oh, what about when the --- drowned in the well?

Natsumi:
You guys wouldn't be laughing if you ever heard one of Fuyuki's scary stories.
What do you say we have a scary story contest?

Keroro:
This'll be too easy. I accept your challenge.

Tamama:
Oh, was that the Wilhelm scream? ①

[ Fuyuki: Fuyuki presents: Night of the Living Room!
Keroro: More gore! ]

---

Keroro:
Now that we've got all of the old Halloween stuff out of the attic, let's begin our scary ghost story competition. Let me explain the rules for your tiny brains. There will be three head-to-head rounds of ghost story carnage! The team that wins the most rounds wins the competition!

Giroro:
Waaagh! Stop it! Let me go!

Keroro:
This will also give us a good chance to test out Kululu's special fear-o-meter!

Kululu:
Ku ku ku!

Natsumi:
Mm...my story's so terrifying that all four of you guys are gonna need shock therapy! Ah! All four? One...two...three...FOOOO-AAAAAAH!!!

Dororo:
Fear not. It is I.

Natsumi:
Don't scare us like that!

Keroro:
And to think we have not yet begun the fright, if we keep up this pace, then the four of you--dah...the four?

Koyuki:
A creep-out competition sounds fun! Is it alright if I join your team, guys?

Natsumi:
Wow, we're jumpy!

---

Narrator:
Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to R-rate!

Natsumi:
This school takes place in my story. Agh! Can I start over? Whatever. Late at night, long after all the students have left, there's a man who sits in the very back row. Just a normal guy except...HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY LEGS! And he'll float right at you! Wobble wobble wobble! He wobbles because his arms are crossed and he's unbalanced without his legs! That's why he's called the wobble monster man! Isn't that super scary!??!

Momoka:
Uh...?

Keroro:
So, that was probably the worst possible way for you to tell that story. Let's see what the fearmometer says!

Natsumi:
Come on! Is that thing broken? That was really scary!

Giroro:
Poor, sweet Natsumi. That was so...terrible.

---

Narrator:
Batting first for the Keronians, the great lord of terror!

Angol Mois:
It was a snowy winter's day. I invited a few friends to a tea party, see? And then those jerks ate all my homemade sugar cookies! They didn't even leave me a single crumb! And so I beat them severely!

Keroro:
Okay, enough! Stop!
Well...though it was gripping ③...stories should be scary, not just crazy.

Angol Mois:
What? Who's crazy?

Keroro:
We should probably change the subject.

Narrator:
Since Mois didn't finish her story, the Earthlings take the round.

---

Narrator:
Aw, snap. Up next, Tamama, hold me please!

Tamama:
The story you are about to hear is based on actual events in the life of the adorable Private 2nd Class Tamama. On the surface, I may seem like Mr. Sergeant's cute and lovable yes man...and I actually am, except when I flip out and want to murder everybody! Ooooh, scary! C'mon! The truth can be terrifying!

Momoka:
He's right! Remember how freaky it was when I split in two and almost destroyed the world until I formed a synchronized swimming team with myself? And I just know...one day, she'll come back and I won't be near a swimming pool!

Giroro:
(sigh) Neither of you are scary; you're both just kind of annoying.

Momoka:
WHAT DID YOU...

Tamama:
...SAY TO US!??!

Keroro:
I guess we're gonna have to call round 2 a do-over, yes, siree.

---

Narrator:
Aww, yeah! Let's try that a-gain! First up, Dah-roro!

Dororo:
It started when I was little more than a tadpole.

Young Keroro:
Wanna play with me?

Young Dororo:
No, thanks. There's no glory in blasting people in the confines of an armored vehicle. Honorable frogs battle hand-to-hand, no offense.

Young Keroro:
Whatever.

Dororo:
Later that day...I found the phone had dialed itself, connecting to a pseudo-carribean woman's psychic hotline. "Tanks for callin'," she said. "Tanks." Then, later that month, when the phone bill came, it was...it was astronomical.

Keroro:
Whoa! Let's move on!

---

Narrator:
Next to the home team, sai-koyuki! ⑤

Koyuki:
Once upon a time, there was a very nice man who lived in a small hut on a peak of a snowy mountain.

Keroro:
Ooh, girl's bringing it old-school fairy tale-style!

Koyuki:
The woman he fell in love with was gone forever. She'd been replaced by the fearsome, frigid ice queen...and she summoned a blizzard!

Keroro:
Ooh! The special effects are awesome!

Koyuki:
And just like that, she froze him out of the bedroom forever! They lived bitterly ever after until their divorce.

All:
Wow!

Keroro:
Whoa! --- What's her score?
What the? Is that thing broken?

Giroro:
It's way too sad to be scary....

Keroro:
Well, we've gotta give a point to somebody, I say Koyuki wins.

Dororo:
Hm. Although it ensures our defeat, I agree.

Tamama:
Aww, the Pekoponians win?

Kululu:
Ku ku ku...correct, which means we won't have to sit through Keroro's lame ol' story.

Fuyuki, Momoka, Koyuki, Natsumi:
Hooray!

Keroro:
Hey! No fair! Please, sit down, sit down! I-I know! Why don't we just call it a tie and then have a sudden death round--where's everybody going!? Wait!!
Please...sit down and listen to my scary story!

Natsumi:
Ugggh, fine, but keep it short.

---

Narrator:
Shoot, I thought I was going to go home early today. To further embarrass the Keronians, up next, Keroro!

[ Will finish soon ]

ノート
①Wilhelm scream(ウィルヘルムの叫び)は映画などの作品で用いられる人気の音響素材です。もちろん、このシーンの叫びはウィルヘルムじゃないです。
②「Night of the Living Dead」というしゃれです。
③このシーンではケロロが握りおもちゃを使っていますから駄じゃれを作りました。
④「Miss Cleo」への言及です。
⑤「最高」と「小雪」のかばん語かもしれません。