Kyon:
Self-proclaimed, humanoid interface created by aliens.
Self-proclaimed, time traveling girl.
Self-proclaimed, squad of esper boys.

They've shown me enough proof that I may now safely remove the words "self-proclaimed" from their titles.
The three of them, each for their own reasons, mind you, are currently focused on Haruhi Suzumiya.
Even if I believe everything I've seen, I still can't figure out one thing.
Why me?
An alien, a girl from the future and an esper boy all migrated toward Haruhi
because, as Koizumi put it, that's what she wished for.
What about me?
Why have I been dragged feet first into all this weird stuff anyway?
I mean, I'm a 100% ordinary high schooler.
No special powers or anything here.
I mean, who wrote this scenario?
Was it you, Haruhi?
Yeah, right.
It's not like it's my problem, anyway.
Why do I have to get all worked up about it.
All this is Haruhi's fault.
Seriously, she's the one who should be worried about all this weirdness going on, not me.
Nagato, Koizumi, Miss Asahina, from now on, they should just go speak to her directly.
And whatever happens after that, well, that's Haruhi's problem.
I've got nothing to do with it.
Everyone else can go and do whatever they want as far as I'm concerned.

Taniguchi:
Yo!

Kyon:
Hey.

Taniguchi, do you think I'm a normal high schooler?

Taniguchi:
Huh?
I don't know.
Normal high schoolers don't go around pushing girls down in classrooms.
Know what I'm saying?
Especially Yuki Nagato, who according to my ranking system scores about A-minus.

Kyon:
I shall explain myself.
Taniguchi's memory of the events was a complete fiction, a fantasy, merely a dream!

Nagato's the victim of Haruhi, who's turned the literary club into her lair.
Upset by this turn of the events, she merely consulted me for advice.
I sympathized with the poor girl, and agreed to help out as best as I could.
After Haruhi'd gone, we decided to meet in the classroom so that we could discuss our options.
That's when Nagato --- an anemic all her life --- suffered a seizure; she toppled over; and as I lunged to prevent her from falling to the hard linoleum floor, you came walking through the door, Taniguchi.

Once you find out the truth about something, ten to one it's always gonna turn out to be something trivial.

Taniguchi:
You liar.

Kyon:
Tch...

Taniguchi:
Even if I was dumb enough to believe that lie, the fact that Nagato, who is famous for being antisocial, mind you, came to you for advice?
Well, that automatically makes you not normal, buddy.

Kyon:
I never realized Nagato's that famous.

Taniguchi:
Also you happen to be one of Suzumiya's henchmen.
So if you think that you're a just normal male high school student, then I'm about as normal as a water flea.

Kyon:
Hey, Taniguchi, you don't have any supernatural powers, do you?

Taniguchi:
Huh?
I knew it.
You've finally become poisoned by Suzumiya's extreme brand of nerdiness, haven't you?
Don't get too close to me, buddy!
Or I'll catch the Suzumiya bug.



Kyon:
Why didn't you change out of your gym clothes?

Haruhi:
Because it's hot.

Kyon:
Hm.

Haruhi:
Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna change again when I get to the clubroom.
Besides, I've got a cleaning duty and it's easier for me to move around in this.

Kyon:
Yeah, well, I can't argue with that.

Haruhi:
I was thinking--what do you want Mikuru's next costume to be?

Kyon:
Hmm... we've had a bunny girl and a maid, I guess she could...
Wait! What do you mean next?

Haruhi:
Kitty cat ears, or a nurse, or maybe a dominatrix.

Kyon:
Kitty cat ears, nurse's outfit, maybe a dominatrix...

Haruhi:
What an idiot.

Kyon:
Hey! You're the one who brought it up!

Haruhi:
Oh man. I'm so bored.


Kyon:
I see. There it is.

Mikuru:
You working on anything important?

Kyon:
No, nothing!

Mikuru:
Really?
Hey! What's this?!

Kyon:
I'm screwed.

Mikuru:
Why does that folder have my name on it, huh?
Come on! Let me see, let me see, let me see!

Kyon:
Oh, this...?
Well... yeah, I wonder...
It's probably nothing to worry about, though.

Mikuru:
That sounds like a lie!

Kyon:
Miss Asahina, could you step back a little please?

Mikuru:
Please let me look.
Can't I see?
Let me look! Come on!

Haruhi:
What do you two think you're doing?

So, you're into maid outfits, huh?

Kyon:
What are you talking about?

Haruhi:
We're gonna change.

Kyon:
Sure, fine with me.

Haruhi:
I said we're changing now!

Kyon:
So what?

Haruhi:
Get out now!

Kyon:
What's with her?
She never cares if people see her when she's changing in our homeroom.

Haruhi:
Well now, my arms and shoulders are cool, but the rest of this crummy outfit doesn't breathe at all!

Koizumi:
Hello.
So I guess today's the day of the costume party?

Kyon:
Don't make the story more complicated.

Haruhi:
Mikuru. Come here. Have a seat!

Koizumi:
They are like a couple of sisters.

Kyon:
She just wants to make a maid with braids.

In the end, it was actually a pretty normal day at the club.
There wasn't really anything we wanted to do.
Actually, we didn't know what we should do.
It was like a moratorium on life... as time flew by...
A life we took for granted, an ordinary life,
And despite feeling dissatisfied about the overwhelming lack of things to do, you keep thinking about the next day, you keep telling yourself you still got lots of time.
Uh... that was unusual in and of itself.
And that really wasn't a bad thing at all.
Almost getting killed by a classmate, or perhaps meeting a monster tearing up a deserted world with gray skies.
Know those things don't happen everyday.
It's true--I wished that days like this would last forever.
And wouldn't you think that way too?
But there was someone who didn't think so.
Of course, it was Haruhi Suzumiya.



Kyon:
What do you think you're doing?

Kyon-Sis:
Scissors! I need them for art class!

Kyon:
Well, okay, I guess.
But just ask for 'em next time all right?

She knew that she could get away with it.

By the way, do you know what makes people have dreams?
There're two kinds of sleep, REM sleep and there's non-REM sleep--the two repeating intervals throughout the sleep cycle.
During REM, when the body's asleep, but the brain is still somewhat active, that's when we have dreams.



Haruhi:
Kyon! Kyon!

Kyon:
The alarm hasn't gone off yet, has it?

Haruhi:
Wake up!

Kyon:
No way...

Haruhi:
I'm telling you to wake up!

Kyon:
Uh!

Haruhi:
Do you know where we are right now?
I thought I woke up, then I found myself in this place with you lying there passed out next to me.
What's going on?
And why do we wake up outside our school like this?

Kyon:
A closed space...

Haruhi:
I thought I was sleeping in my bed at home, so how do we end up in this place?
The sky, it's weird.

Kyon:
Have you seen Koizumi?

Haruhi:
No, why? Is he here?

Kyon:
No, just a hunch I had.
First off, let's get out of the school.
We might be able to find someone somewhere else.

Haruhi:
You don't seem very surprised by all of this somehow.

Kyon:
Oh, I'm surprised, all right.
Especially at the fact that you are here.

Haruhi:
What is this?

Kyon:
This thing runs all around the perimeter of the school.

Haruhi:
Does that mean we can't get out of here?

Kyon:
Well, if you're scared, just go ahead and grab my arm, why don't you?
I'm sure it'll help get me in the mood.

Haruhi:
Jerk!

Haruhi:
I can't get a dial tone.

Kyon:
Yeah, that's what I figured.

Haruhi:
Hey, Kyon, look!
Where are we?
It's really weird.

Kyon:
You thirsty?

Haruhi:
No thanks.

What's going on?
What is this?
I don't get it at all.
Where are we?
And why am I here anyway?
And on top of all that, why am I alone with you?

Kyon:
How should I know?

Haruhi:
I'm gonna look around.
You stay here. Got it?
I'll be right back!

Kyon:
Typical Haruhi behavior.

Koizumi? Is that you?

Koizumi:
Well, hello there.

Kyon:
Took you long enough to show up, although I guess I was sort of expecting to see you looking a little more normal.

Koizumi:
Yeah, that.
I need to talk to you about something.
Frankly speaking, this is what I call an emergency situation.
Normally, I can get in a closed space without too much trouble.
But this time, even with some extra power from my colleagues, it was all I could do to show up in this incomplete form.
And I'm not gonna last too long either.
Looks like our esper powers are fading.
They get to disappear any minute now.

Kyon:
Then, do you know what's going on?
And are Haruhi and I the only ones stuck in here?

Koizumi:
That's it.
The thing we've been afraid of happening all along is starting to happen right now.
It seems Miss Suzumiya's finally given up on the real world.
She's decided to create a new one now.
In other words, this is the end of the world.

Kyon:
What was that?

Koizumi:
The top brass at the organization's seriously panicked right now.
Nobody knows what'll happen to the real world, now that we've lost our deity.
If Miss Suzumiya's feeling merciful, we might get to keep living on this side of the bubble.
But it might disappear into nothing the next minute too.

Kyon:
Wait. Now, why is this...?

Kozizumi:
Who knows.
In any case, both you and Miss Suzumiya have completely disappeared from our world.
You two aren't in an ordinary closed space.
It's a new dimension that Miss Suzumiya's created.
I don't know.
Maybe all the other closed spaces were practice for the one you're in right now.
The space that you're in right now is probably the world that Miss Suzumiya wishes she was in.
I don't really know what she wants, so... I'm at a loss as to what could happen next.

Kyon:
Do you have any idea why I'm the one in here with her?

Koizumi:
You honestly have no idea why?
You were chosen by Miss Suzumiya.
You were the one and only person from the other world that Miss Suzumiya really wanted to be with.
I thought you'd realize that by now.
Looks like I'm almost out of time.
The way things are going, I don't think we'll be seeing each other again.

Kyon:
So, you telling me that's it?
I gotta live all alone here with Haruhi in this dull world of gray?

Koizumi:
You're the new Adam and Eve!
Go on, procreate, increase the population!

Kyon:
I'll punch you for that.

Koizumi:
Just joking.
It's only a theory.
But I think, in a little while, this place will start looking more familiar.
However, it's not going to be exactly the same as over here.
Well, if I ever get reincarnated on your side, be sure to say "hi" for me.

Kyon:
So, we can never go back to that side ever again?

Koizumi:
Only if Miss Suzumiya wishes it.
Although I hate to say it, the chances, I bet, are pretty slim.
I'm gonna miss you guys a lot.
I would've liked to get to know both of you better.
[All thing fills me] is a bit of regret.

Oh, almost forgot!
I've got messages for you from Mikuru Asahina and Yuki Nagato.
Miss Asahina told me to deliver an apology to you, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."
And Yuki Nagato told me to tell you, "Turn on the computer."
Good-bye.

Kyon:
What kind of joke is this anyway?

YUKI.N>Can you see this?

Kyon:
'Course I can see it.


KYON>Yeah.

YUKI.N>The dimensions aren't severed yet. It's inevitable. If so, it's over.

Kyon:
What should I do?


KYON>What should I do?

YUKI.N>Nothing. The entity has lost hope. The chance for evolution is lost.

YUKI.N>Haruhi Suzumiya created information from nothing. The entity could not.
If we analyze this ability, it may lead to the evolution of autonomy.

YUKI.N>I'll bet on you.

Kyon:
Bet what?

KYON>Bet what?

YUKI.N>It's our desire that you return. Haruhi Suzumiya is a valued subject.
I, as an individual, also feel a desire for you to return.

YUKI.N>Once again, in the library.

Kyon:
Nagato!

YUKI.N>sleeping beauty

Kyon:
What do you want me to do?
Nagato, Koizumi...

Haruhi:
Kyon! Something is here!
What is it? A monster? It's not an illusion, is it?
Maybe it's an alien!
Or is it some kind of super-weapon that a race of ancient people created that's been awakened in our world?!

What are you doing?
That thing's not trying to attack us, is it?
What are we running away from it for?
I don't think it's evil or anything.

Kyon:
Who knows.

Haruhi:
Do you know what's happening?
This weird world and that giant!

Kyon:
Don't you wanna go back to the world we used to be in?

Haruhi:
Huh?

Kyon:
We can't stay in a place like this forever.
I mean, if we get hungry, there aren't any places to eat here.

Haruhi:
It's strange.
But I have a feeling we'll get by, somehow.
I'm having fun right now.
I wonder why?

Kyon:
What are you going to do with the SOS Brigade?
You created it.
Are you just gonna throw it away?

Haruhi:
It doesn't matter anymore.
I'm having the strangest, most wonderful experience that I've ever dreamed of having.
I don't need to search for it when it's happening right here!

Kyon:
But I wanna go back!

It took something like this to make me realize--even though I complained a lot, I really liked my life up till now.
Kunikida and that idiot Taniguchi, Koizumi, Nagato, Miss Asahina and that Asakura girl who disappeared.
You can put her on the list, too!

Haruhi:
What are you talking about?

Kyon:
I wanna go back and see all of them again.
I don't know.
I feel like I still got so many things that I wanna talk to them about!

Haruhi:
You'll see them again.
It's not like this place is gonna be covered by a big gloomy shadow forever.
Once tomorrow comes around, I'm positive the sun's gonna shine again!
I know it will. I can tell!

Kyon:
That's not it!
I'm not talking about seeing them in here.
I wanna see everybody from the old world in the old world!

Haruhi:
I don't understand you.
Weren't you sick and tired of the boring world we were living in?!
Didn't you want something really weird and interesting to happen like I did?!

Kyon:
I used to.
You know something, Haruhi?
For the last couple of days, I've had all these strange things happening around me.
You had no way of knowing this, but I guess you can say the world's been revolving around you.
You've been completely unaware of it.
But actually, everything in the world was getting more and more weird and interesting.

Nagato said she was the potential for evolution.
Miss Asahina called her a distortion of space time.
And Koizumi treated her like a god.
Then... what about me?
What does Haruhi Suzumiya mean to someone like me?
Haruhi is Haruhi, nothing else but Haruhi.
Great.
Using a tautology to dodge the question.
I can't help it.
I just don't have a definite answer for it.
I mean, think about it.
If somebody pointed at a classmate of yours and asked you what that person meant to you?
How would you answer?
What would you say?
Sorry, I'm dodging the question again.
But to me, Haruhi isn't just a classmate.
And of course she is not a potential for evolution, a time distortion or a god, either!
That's impossible!

Mikuru(Big):
Do you know the story of Snow White?

Haruhi:
What's wrong?

Kyon:
I've sorta got a thing for girls with ponytails.

Haruhi:
What?

Kyon:
I don't remember when it was.
But you had your hair in a ponytail.
And it looked so good on you, it was criminal!

Haruhi:
Huh? What are you, an idiot?

Kyon:
What kind of dream was that?!
Sigmund Freud's gotta be laughing at me!



Kyon:
I never had a dream that was so realistic before.
Or maybe... maybe this isn't the old world anymore.
Maybe this world is a new one that Haruhi created.
And if that's the case... how would I go about confirming it?
Ugh...

Yo, how are you doing?

Haruhi:
I don't know. Not so good.
I had a nightmare last night.

Kyon:
Really?

Haruhi:
Yeah, I couldn't really get any sleep because of it.
I've never wanted to ditch school so badly like today.

Kyon:
Is that so?
Haruhi.

Haruhi:
Yeah, what?

Kyon:
Looks good on you.


Koizumi:
I believe I should be thanking you right now.
It looks like I get to keep my part-time job a little while longer.
Well, I don't think we can deny the distinct possibility that the world we're in now was freshly created by her last night.
In any case, it is an honor to see you and Miss Suzumiya again.
Be seeing you after class.

Nagato:
You and Haruhi Suzumiya disappeared from this world for two hours and thirty minutes.

Kyon:
So, tell me; How many more of your kind are out there, anyway?

Nagato:
A lot.

Kyon:
And, is somebody like Asakura going to come around and try and kill me again?

Nagato:
Don't worry.
I won't let that happen.

Mikuru:
Kyon! You're back!
I'm so glad to see you again.
I thought you'd never make it back.

Kyon:
Miss Asahina.

Mikuru:
No, no, no, no, no, no!
If Miss Suzumiya saw us, it'll be like birds of a feather repeating their mistakes again.

Kyon:
I don't have any idea what you're saying.
Oh, by the way, Miss Asahina.
I believe you've got a star-shaped mole on your chest right about here, am I right?

Mikuru:
Huh?
H-How did you know that?
I-I didn't even know it was shaped like a star till just now.
Wh-When did you realize it?!

Haruhi:
And what are you two doing?
Mikuru, I bet you're bored with the maid outfit.
So I got you a new one.

Mikuru:
What?!

Haruhi:
Stop squirming!
Resistance is futile.
This time, it's a nurse's outfit!
Or should I say doctor's aids?
Oh, whatever you call 'em, it's cute!
.......



Kyon:
Now let me tell you about what happened afterwards.
The SOS Brigade finally submitted all the necessary paperwork to register as an extra curricular group within the school.
I was sure that the name "Spreading Excitement All Over the World with Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade" would've been rejected outright.
So we changed it at the last minute to "Spreading Cheer to Our Student Buddy Brigade."
And we still patrol the town for strange phenomena.
Today is our second tour of duty.
By some strange coincidence, Miss Asahina, Nagato and Koizumi all had errands to run.
So I'm waiting for Haruhi by myself.
I made sure to arrive an hour before we had agreed to meet.
Remember we had a rule that regardless of whether or not you're late, the last person to show up gets a penalty.
I'm not quite sure why she's scowling.
Perhaps it's a reaction to the low attendance rate today.
Or, could it be regret that she's shown up last?
I don't know.
But I have lots of time to find out when she's buying me lunch at café.
And when we sit down, I'd like to talk to her about all sorts of things; About how the SOS Brigade is going to operate from now on; My wish list for Miss Asahina's cosplaying.
Et cetera, et cetera...
But I digress.
I already know exactly what I wanna talk to her about first.
Yeah, that's right.
For starters, I'm thinking I'd like to talk to her a little bit about aliens, time-travelers and espers.