Okabe:
  • Impossible!
  • Behold my bleak and dusty doom.
  • It's me. I've fallen prey to their wily saboteurs.
  • What?! So my current peril is...is in fact the will of Stein's Gate?
  • Yes, of course. Two weeks ago...less than, in fact. The signs were all around me. Plain as the nose on my face. How could I have been so blindsided?
  • Agreed. I'll check in later, if this arid wasteland hasn't undone me.
  • El...Psy...Congroo.



Daru:
  • Wassup?

Okabe:
  • Hmm?
  • What the...?
  • So you've joined the Yakuza, or you're going on safari. Am I in the ballpark?

Daru:
  • These threads aren't safari...they're L.A!

Okabe:
  • Short for...lab appropriate?

Mayuri:
  • You're so forgetful, Okarin.
  • They're holding a big Rai-Net tournament in America, and Faris got an invitation to compete in it, so she's taking us all with her for moral support.
  • Don't you remember?

Okabe:
  • Ha! You mean the great federated states need the presence of one Hououin Kyouma to put things to rights!

Daru:
  • Do you know how delusional you are?

(Mayuri's phone vibrates)

Mayuri:
  • Hey, Kurisu just texted me! Let's see what she says.
  • Looks like she's all caught up with her work, so she'll be able to visit us out there.
  • Ah! Oh, and she made sure to mention Okarin coming too!
  • Look it!

Daru:
  • What've we got? "Don't bother bringing Okabe unless you have to. My scientific credibility can't afford it."
  • Man, if that ain't a textbook slamfest, I'll eat my hat.

Okabe:
  • Pish-posh! She wants us to sow the seeds of the lab's trans-Pacific plot under the guise of a simple vacation.

Mayuri:
  • Then I'm going to pack my big Oopa pillow!




Mr. Braun:
  • America, huh? I hope it's a one-way trip!

Nae:
  • Bring me back a gift, OK?

Mayuri:
  • 'Course I will, silly.
  • How about you, Moeka? Do you want anythin...?

(Okabe's phone vibrates)

[group comprised of Daru, Ruka, Okabe, and Mayuri, reading phone]:
  • Uhhh...
  • Huh?

Mr. Braun:
  • Huh?

Moeka:
  • ..or, uh, some chocolate?

[group]:
  • Uhhh...




Makise:
  • Here they come.



Customs agent:
  • Reason for visit?

Okabe:
  • Well if you're going to be blunt, let me refer to my manifesto:
  • (clears throat)
  • Aha! Look upon this visage of chaos! I am a mad scientist! Your precious founding father cannot save you now!

Customs agent:
  • So you're a mad scientist, huh?
  • Phbttt! Hahahaha!

Okabe (joining in laughter):
  • Hahahahaha!



Okabe:
  • No! Wait! I retract my previous declaration regarding any intended pandemonium within your fine country! In respect, I should have explained it as an entirely figurative manifesto...

Ruka:
  • There he goes...



Okabe:
  • How dare they? Trying to block the entry of a scientific luminary such as Hououin Kyouma...

Makise:
  • Still like to rant, huh? Typical.

Mayuri:
  • Okarin?

Okabe:
  • Huh?

Mayuri:
  • Aren't you going to say "hi?"

Okabe:
  • Huh? Of course, it's you!. How embarrassing not to recognize my assistant.All apologies...

Makise:
  • I am not your assistant!

Okabe:
  • At first I thought perhaps you were an Organization assassin, sent to neutralize your truly.

Makise:
  • What an idiot! He's worse than Leeroy Jenkins!

Daru:
  • Still trolling the web, huh?

Makise:
  • Shove it, Daru! Just get in the damn car before I change my mind!

Okabe:
  • Uh, hold on? Don't tell me you intend to drive us?

Makise:
  • Got a problem with that?

Okabe:
  • Rukako?

Ruka:
  • Yes, Kyouma?

Okabe:
  • Please fetch me a taxi.

Makise:
  • Grrr!

Okabe:
  • Hey! Son of a...



(Okabe panting)

Makise:
  • I watched get out of the stupid cab, you big faker!
  • (clears throat)

Okabe:
  • Hmmph!

Makise:
  • What?

Okabe:
  • Cab fare, please?

Makise:
  • Um, excuse me?
  • You freeloading...

Faris:
  • KYOUMA!

Daru:
  • Look, it's Faris!

Faris:
  • Meow come you canceled the hotel reservation I made for you?

Okabe:
  • Oh, you'd rather our enemies be privy to our precise coordinates?

Faris:
  • Oh, no! You mean the seven lords of the North American continent?

Okabe:
  • Yes. The seven philosophers!

Faris:
  • It's time for the final apocalyptic battle?

Okabe:
  • Almost! We must be careful not to make the first move, my pet.

(Makise sighs)

Faris:
  • Don't you worry!
  • I'll send them all packing with a persipicacious death-paw! [The word should actually have been perspicacious, but the actress has pronounced it wrong]

Okabe:
  • You mean...you've finally mastered the most lethal of attack moves?
  • Then cry havoc and let slip the perspicacious death-paw equipped cat-girls of war! Until flesh and bone fail me and my spirit returns to the mead-stained timbers of Valhalla!
  • The US shall taste of Ragnarok!

(police sirens as Okabe is hauled away)



Okabe:
  • Pretty fancy domicile for a mere assistant, no?

Makise:
  • You're outta here as soon as you have somewhere else to stay.
  • Step away from the tub!
  • Hands off the soda!
  • Aww, you too?!

[Television reporter]:
  • Hello out there! This is Julie Woodhouse with the weather...

Makise:
  • Why does this seem so familiar?

Mayuri:
  • 'Cause this is exactly what we'd be doing if we were home.

Makise:
  • (sigh)
  • Creatures of habit, all of you.

Okabe:
  • So, how's life been treating you over here?

Makise:
  • Fine, I guess. Same as it did before.

Okabe:
  • Not writing any papers on time travel, I presume?

Makise:
  • Nah. I thought I'd just leave the raving about alternate worldlines to you.

Okabe:
  • Fair enough. But people have been known to harbor the rare stray memory from those other worldlines, you know?

Makise:
  • Look, I know what you're getting at, OK?
  • You want to know what I remember? I remember you saving me at the Radio building and finding you afterwards so I could thank you properly. And that's all.

Okabe:
  • So you don't recall anything more substantial?

Makise:
  • No. Substantial like how?

Okabe:
  • Never mind.

(Makise's phone vibrates)

Makise:
  • Hello?
  • Really? Where is it?



Ruka:
  • No...oh God, no.

Okabe:
  • Are you trying to get us killed, woman?!

Makise:
  • See ya!

Okabe:
  • Oh no you don't!
  • You're really going to ditch us at this house of ill repute?

Makise:
  • Pretty much. That's what you get for skipping out on the room Faris set up.

Okabe:
  • What were you thinking? Do you know how many horror movies I've seen that were set in one of these death traps? Some hillbilly psycho will spot me though the blinds, chainsaw through the door, and jury-rig my face into a belt buckle!

Makise:
  • How tiny of a role does reality play in your life?

Daru:
  • Now you ask him that?

Ruka:
  • Kurisu? I know motels can't be as horrible as they are in the movies, but...I'm still sort of nervous.

Makise;
  • You'll be fine. Though I guess we'd better find out who's bunking with who, yeah?

Mayuri:
  • Well I've shared a room with Okarin a whole bunch of times before. We used to have these great sleepovers when we were young, just the two of us.

Makise:
  • Just you two?

Okabe:
  • Oh, get your mind out of the gutter! She just said when we were young, didn't she? What sort of sad little virgin-

Makise:
  • You be quiet! The point is, Mayuri's not sharing a room with the guys! Maybe you can bunk in with Rukako. He's kind of a guy, I guess.

Ruka:
  • OK.

Makise:
  • Or you know what, maybe I'll just stick around here for the night. Then Okabe rooms with Daru, Mayuri's with me-

Ruka:
  • Huh! Some I'm all by myself? I don't wanna...

Makise:
  • OK, Mayuri and I still share a room. Daru is alone. And you'll be...

Ruka:
  • I won't be scared at all with Kyouma nearby.

Okabe (thoughts):
  • Yep. Still a dude.



Daru:
  • How did Makise end up as the one with a bed to herself?

Okabe:
  • Because Rukako and Mayuri sharing a room is fine.

Daru:
  • Yeah it is...yuri-licious!

Okabe:
  • Dream on, Daru. Plus, if their room were a garden of sapphic glee, wouldn't this one be yaoi-

Daru:
  • Arghhhh!

Okabe:
  • What now?

Daru:
  • Hey, Okarin?

Okabe:
  • Yes, what?

Daru:
  • Wanna do Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who's going to sleep in the car?



Okabe:
  • (sigh)

Makise:
  • What's the matter?

Okabe:
  • I surrendered the bed to Daru. Mere courtesy, I assure you. We need him running on all cylinders tomorrow.

Makise:
  • Lost at Rock, Paper, Scissors, huh?

Okabe:
  • Yeah, well what are you doing out here, then?

Makise:
  • I don't know.

(sound of crickets and cars driving by)

Makise:
  • Hey!

Okabe:
  • Huh?

Makise:
  • Don't go just yet.
  • I want to ask you something.



Okabe:
  • What madness is this? It comes in diet?

Makise:
  • Take a couple back with you. At the current exchange rate, they're cheaper to import anyway.

Okabe:
  • So what's this burning question? Of course! You want me to look over your work. Genius that I am...

Makise:
  • You know what? Just forget it.

Okabe:
  • It's not the first time you've told me that, actually.

Makise:
  • It's not?

Okabe:
  • Oh that's right, it was on another worldline. You wouldn't know.

Makise:
  • That's what I'm talking about!
  • I can think of a hundred reasons why this alternate worldline craziness could never be true.
  • But then I dream things. Things that feel more like, I don't know, memories.
  • Moments like, your crying on an overpass in Akihabara, and I'm there.
  • Or we're debating equations written out on a whiteboard, neither of us backing down.
  • Or we're sitting together on a stairwell, and I'm patching up a hole in your labcoat?

Okabe:
  • Seems you remember more than your consciousness admits to.

Makise:
  • So they're all real?

Okabe:
  • When you get right down to it, their authenticity is a question of perspective and semantics.
  • Having never truly taken place on this worldline, "dream" is as appropriate a term for them as any.

Makise:
  • But they...they actually happened on some of the other worldlines?

Okabe:
  • Yeah.

Makise:
  • I see.
  • Umm, can I...ask another question?

Okabe:
  • What is it?

Makise:
  • There's this... one particular... dream... I keep having, but...this one, we're...

Okabe:
  • Yes? We're what?

Makise:
  • We're, umm...

Okabe:
  • If I could help you remember it somehow, I would.

Makise:
  • Yeah, I'll bet!

Okabe:
  • Arghh!



Mayuri:
  • ...I'm so glad Okarin and Kurisu are getting to spend time together...



Faris:
  • Say your prayers, Rai-Neters!

Announcer:
  • ...and that's the match!

Daru:

  • Way to kick ass, Faris!You guys got pwned!

Faris:

  • I did it!

Crowd:

  • Yeah! Faris! Faris! Faris!
  • This chick's... [incomprehensible]

Faris:

  • Aren't you glad I brought it, Ruka?



Makise:

  • Here's...your omelet, master.

Okabe:

  • Hold on. You just served me without meowing.

Makise:

  • Why do I have to be a cat-girl maid?

Okabe:

  • Because! Part of your duty as goodwill ambassador to the States is extolling Japan's maid culture!

Makise:

  • I don't remember volunteering for goodwill ambassador, because I didn't!

Okabe:

  • We agreed to work the tournament if they ponyed up the funds for our plane ticket. Herego, your ears and apron.

Makise:
  • So why am I stuck wearing them, huh? No one flew me anywhere.

Okabe:

  • It's for the greater good of the lab.

Makise:

  • Then you put on the damn apron!

Okabe:

  • Heh!
  • You know, it's so good to see you full of moxy.
  • I mean, last night, you seemed so pensive. About the alternate worldlines.

Makise:

  • Pensive?
  • No, I was just a little tired, that's all.
  • I mean, it's not like I care.

Okabe:

  • You're better off that way.
  • Believe me, those paths are better left untrod.

Makise:

  • None of it was real. Not in the life I know.

Okabe:

  • You're right.



Yuki Amane:

  • Thanks for waiting!
  • I didn't know they were going to run late.

Okabe:

  • Suzuha?
  • Suzuha!



Okabe (thoughts):

  • How is she even here? This contradicts her farewell.
  • Before she left, she said:

Suzuha (flashback):

  • See you in seven years.

Okabe (thoughts):

  • This worldline is devoid of time travel, so there can't be a Suzuha until her birth, seven years from now.
  • But there she is. Suzuha in the flesh. Maybe I was wrong about this worldline.
  • Maybe it does have time travel. And worse...



Makise:

  • Huh? What do you mean, he's gone?

Mayuri:

  • Now that you mention it, I did see somebody in a lab coat walk out of the event hall a little while ago.

Faris:

  • Hey you guys!
  • So I asked around, turns out Kyouma jumped into a taxi and sped off.

Mayuri:

  • No way! Maybe the Organization's after him!

Daru:

  • Dude's finally lost his marbles.

Mayuri:
  • Kurisu!



Yuki Amane:

  • Never thought I'd have a doppelganger. Trippy!

Okabe:

  • The resemblance is...uncanny.

Yuki Amane:

  • I'm not even from L.A. I was in town for the tournament, and now my friend and I are heading to Vegas!
  • Any other day, you wouldn't have seen me.

Okabe:

  • What are the odds?

Yuki Amane:

  • You know, this lookalike of mine must mean a lot to you.
  • You followed me into the boonies. It's sweet. And more than a little expensive.

Okabe:

  • If you knew her, I think you would understand.

Yuki Amane:

  • So, does that mean you don't know where she is these days?

Okabe:

  • She's incommunicado. But later, seven years from now, we'll meet again.

Yuki Amane:

  • There. You see. It'll all work out in the end.
  • Funny that you mention seven years. A psychic told me that I'd get married and have a kid around then.

Okabe:

  • Heh.

Yuki Amane:

  • Yeah, it was dumb.

Okabe:

  • No. That sounds right.



(Daru sneezes)



Okabe:

  • Sorry for cutting into your travel time like this.

Yuki Amane:

  • Nuh-huh! I'm really glad you did. Later.

Okabe:

  • Later.
  • (thoughts): See you in seven.
  • Daru, my friend, you're going to do just fine.
  • Wait!
  • Sixty-seven cents to my name. And no charge.
  • HOW THE DEVIL DO I GET BACK?!
  • WHAT?!




Okabe (thoughts):

  • I started walking. No other choice, really.
  • Kurisu!

Okabe:

  • Damn it to hell! I refuse to die on this worthless sun-bleached tundra!
  • Do you worst, you sandy bastard! You shall not claim the life of Hououin Kyouma!
  • I should have told her. When I...had the chance.
  • I'm a fool.

Makise:

  • I'll second that.

Okabe:

  • Just a mirage.

Makise:

  • Wrong, but I'm flattered.
  • What your heat-addled brain is perceiving right now is an actual female.
  • I was worried about you.

Okabe:

  • Not worried enough to fill up the gas tank before you sallied forth.

Makise:

  • Excuse me for rushing out here! My mistake.

Okabe:

  • What about your phone? So inept.

Makise:

  • You're a fine one to talk, mister dead phone and a handful of change! You'd be vulture chow right now if I hadn't come and scraped your sorry butt off this highway!

Okabe:

  • Cut me some slack. I caught a glimpse of what looked like an old friend getting into a car, so I grabbed a cab and followed her, alright?

Makise:

  • So that's what happened?

Okabe:

  • Uh-huh.

Makise:

  • I see.
  • I thought maybe you had run off because of what I said in the diner this afternoon.

Okabe:

  • Hardly.
  • Wait. What did you say?

Makise:

  • Huh? Uh. You know...about it not being real.

Okabe:

  • That, right.

Makise:

  • Yes, that! What else could I possibly be talking about?
  • I have to get to the bottom of these dreams I'm having.

Okabe:

  • Why's that?

Makise:

  • Because I...I just...Remember how I mentioned another dream? One I didn't really talk about?
  • Why does it feel more real than things that have happened when I'm awake?

Okabe:

  • It was.

Makise:

  • What?

Okabe:

  • Because it was real. For both of us.

Makise:

  • Wait, what are you saying?

Okabe:

  • I'm saying that on an alternate worldline, I told you I was in love with you.
  • I mean, I am in love with you, Kurisu.
  • How do you feel?

Makise:

  • That's not fair.
  • We might have gone through a ton of stuff together in those alternate worldlines you've seen, Okabe.
  • But I'm in this one, and whatever happened between us during that time feels like a dream to me.
  • I don't know what you mean to me yet.

Okabe:

  • I have an ability called Reading Steiner. It's how I remember things across worldlines. It's how I remember you.
  • Fate gave us three weeks. And I relived them time and again.
  • A rat skittering through a maze of his own fashioning.
  • But my one constant, the one truth that never failed me, was you.
  • So I'll say it again. I love you. That's just something you should know.
  • But what am I to you? Not in dreams, not in dim memories. What does your heart say right now?

Makise:

  • Okabe...
  • If you really want to know...
  • Just close your eyes


[credits]