Cindy:
What's the harm in just coming to my lab?

Squid Girl:
Squid no!

Cindy:
I just want you show you a quick look at the inside!

Squid Girl:
What you really wanna do is squidnap me!

Cindy:
It'll be a new experience! Come on!

Squid Girl:
I don't want your kraken experience! Go away!

Nagisa:
I wonder who she is.

Cindy:
I'm a professional alien countermeasure investigator.
My name is Cindy Campbell.

Nagisa:
Uhmm...alien?

Cindy:
Today's the day I finally bring her back to my lab.
Wait for me!

Nagisa:
There's no hope left for this country.

---

Squid Girl:
I'm emissary of the sea. I'm Squid Girl.
As emissary, I demand that the humans start paying me a lot more attention and respect.

Takeru:
Squid Girlie, let's go play!

Squid Girl:
I am not Squid Girlie. As of today, I am Her Majesty the Squid Queen.
From this moment forward, you will be my servant, Takeru, so you'd better watch your beak!

Takeru:
I don't really get it, but I might as well play along.
I humbly beg your pardon. Your every wish is my command, Your Majesty.

Squid Girl:
Good for you, Takeru. You really know how to swim with the flow.

Takeru:
Squid Girlie, uhm, I mean, Your Majesty?

Squid Girl:
What is it?

Takeru:
Does Your Highness have any other servants?

Squid Girl:
Uh...? Hmm...yes!
Hey, Goro! Yield that seat to me now, sucker!

Goro:
What? You know I can't do that.

Squid Girl:
I'll tell Chizuru about the photos.

Goro:
How did you know?

Squid Girl:
Bingo, I hit the squids-eye! I bet you hide them inside your closet, don't you?

Goro:
Okay, okay, don't say anymore! Fine, that seat's all yours, alright?

Squid Girl:
Easy as shrimp!

Takeru:
Wow. Goro's kind of a pushover today.

Squid Girl:
Next, I'll make Nagisa my servant, and then everyone else, one by one.

Cindy:
I volunteer.

Squid Girl:
Holy carp, are you're still here?

Cindy:
Yes, Your Majesty.
As of now, I, Cindy Campbell, am your faithful servant.

Squid Girl:
If you're that inkterested, I suppose I'll let you join my ranks.

Cindy:
I ask one thing in return from My Loyalty.

Squid Girl:
And what is that?

Cindy:
That you'll come and visit my laboratory.

Squid Girl:
Fine, it's a deal. As of today, you will be my faithful servant.

Cindy:
Thank you, Your Majesty. I am honored.

Squid Girl:
Now, you may kneel and lick my feet.

Takeru:
Twisted....

Cindy:
As you wish, Highness.

Eiko:
Hey, Squid Girl, what are you doing, goofing off again?

Squid Girl:
You insolent clam! Seize her, now!

Eiko:
Huh!?
What the hell are you doing?

Cindy:
Sorry, it's nothing personal, Ms. Aizawa.

Squid Girl:
Ha ha ha! This sucker has volunteered to be my servant now.

Eiko:
Servant? Ah, come on!

Squid Girl:
This is for all of the times you decided to push me around!
If you want me to stop, then you'll agree to be my servant, too!

Eiko:
Stupid! Think it through.
If you run out of human equals, then you're gonna find yourself totally friendless and all alone in this world!
Gotcha!

Squid Girl:
That kraken hurt....

Eiko:
I don't always have time to play along with your idiotic delusions.
Time to get back to work.

Cindy:
Wait, what about the deal she made?

Eiko:
A deal?

Squid Girl:
I was a total sucker.
I never thought we'd gilly go.

Eiko:
Yeah, but you've got to keep your promises.

Cindy:
Well, here it is!

Eiko:
Wow, that's impressive.

Cindy:
Wait. You're in for even bigger surprises.

Eiko:
What the hell?

Squid Girl:
This is inkredible!

Cindy:
Yes, incredible, indeed.

Harris:
Cindy, is this girl the squiddian you told us about?

Squid Girl:
I'm not a squiddian, you clownfish!

Harris:
Would you mind stepping inside here for just a moment?

Squid Girl:
Waaaaah!
I was nearly a smoked squid....
That was kraken dangerous!
W-what're you gonna do this time?

Clark:
Just a little experiment.
I'd like to try my alien ray gun.

Squid Girl:
Aaaaaaah! Save the squids!

Cindy:
That's enough, you two. I promised today was strictly for observation.

Harris, Clark:
What a letdown.

Martin:
Observation can be nice in its own right!

Squid Girl:
Waaaaaaaaah!

Eiko:
Alright, who are all these guys anyway?

Cindy:
I'll introduce you.
Harris, head of experiments.
Clark, head of development.
Martin, head of research.
And I'm Cindy, head of investigation.
We're all top graduates from MIT.
We're the best alien research team America has to offer.

Eiko:
You mean you four researchers are the only ones here?

Cindy:
Not many get to be the best.

Eiko:
Wow. I guess you must have some top-secret data on aliens here, then.

Harris, Clark, Martin, Cindy:
Hmm....

Clark:
Not yet.

Squid Girl:
Why are you looking at me when you say that?

Cindy:
There are tons of things we'd like to do, but it's hard to find any aliens,
so all we've done is prepare for the day we do find them.

Harris:
In the process of building alien hibernation equipment, I developed a machine that can cure cancer.

Clark:
I ended up developing a ray gun that can shrink and enlarge any object.

Martin:
In my attempts to develop a method which would communicate with aliens, I ended up inventing a way to instantly learn any language in the world.

Squid Girl:
What a squidiculous waste of talent.

Eiko:
If you're really that skilled, you should devote your time to things more worthwhile than this.

Harris:
You don't understand, ladies. This is worthwhile.

Clark:
The only thing any of us truly cares about is the discovery and study of aliens.

Martin:
It is not money that motivates us, but the romanticism of it all.

Harris, Clark, Martin:
Please be an alien so we can study you and finally fulfill our empty lives!

Eiko:
So you have romanticism but no pride!?

Cindy:
They've waited a long time for this.

Squid Girl:
I don't give a carp what's squidding on around here, I'm still not a kraken alien!
I'm a squid from right here on Earth, and I'm proud of it!

Harris:
Let's do this, then. Please repeat this phrase 10 times: "You are an alien."

Harris, Clark, Martin:
Go!

Squid Girl:
Hm. You are an alien, you are an alien, you are an alien, you are an alien, you are an alien,
you are an alien, you are an alien, you are an alien, you are an alien, you are an alien.

Harris, Clark, Martin:
What are you?

Squid Girl:
An alien!

Harris:
Yahoo!

Martin:
We finally succeeded in carrying out an actual exchange with an alien!

Clark:
And I made a recording of it! (Recording: "An alien!")

Harris, Clark, Martin:
Yahoo!

Squid Girl:
Hey, that wasn't squidding fair!

Eiko:
Is this grade school?

Cindy:
More like the three stooges.

Eiko:
You're one to talk!

Squid Girl:
Alright, then, now it's my turn! "You're a servant" 10 times! Go!

Harris, Clark, Martin:
You're a servant, you're a servant, you're a servant, you're a servant, you're a servant,
you're a servant, you're a servant, you're a servant, you're a servant, you're a servant.

Squid Girl:
What are you!?

Harris:
Harris.

Clark:
Clark.

Martin:
Martin.

Squid Girl:
Huh?

Harris:
We're top MIT graduates.

Martin:
Did you think we'd fall for that stupid trick?

Clark:
Only a fool would fall for that old one.

Squid Girl:
You space nuts have no right to talk to me that way!