Ouran High School Host Club>06. The Grade School Host is the Naughty Type!

Teacher:
Oh, there you are Shiro.
The rest of the club has assembled and ready to go.
You should get to the music room.

Shiro:
I'm sorry sir, but I'm quitting the classical music club.

Teacher:
Huh?
What made you decide to quit all of a sudden?
I think you have a natural talent for the piano.
It'd be a shame to waste it.
So forget about quitting and come back to the club.
If you play piano, you're sure to be popular with all the ladies.

Shiro:
But that's gonna take too long!

Teacher:
Huh?

Shiro:
I don't have that much time!

The top floor of the south building... at the end of the north hallway... in [a/the] music room that's never used.
This is it.
This is the place.

Host club members:
Welcome to the Ouran host club.

Hikaru:
Oh, it's just a kid.

Kaoru:
Not only that, it's just a boy.

Tamaki:
What's wrong, little boy?
Did you come to my palace in search of something?

Shiro:
Are you the king of this place?

Tamaki:
Ah.

Shiro:
Well are you?

Tamaki:
Come closer, lost one.
What was it you just called me, little boy?

Shiro:
The king.

Tamaki:
Oh, the king!
Yes, I am the king of the Ouran host club.
Long live the host king!

Shiro:
I'm an elementary 5th-year, Shiro Takaoji!
I want the host club king to take me on as an apprentice.


"The Grade School Host is the Naughty Type!"


Girl:
Oh my, Tamaki, you have an apprentice?

Tamaki:
Yes.
He's still in elementary school, but I like the fire in his eyes.

Girl:
But are you sure it's okay for such a young boy to become a host?

Tamaki:
Why wouldn't it be?
Love has nothing to do with age.
Take us for instance.
Whenever I look at you, my heart starts pounding.
Suddenly I feel no different than a love-sick little boy.

Girl:
Oh, Tamaki.

Haruhi:
Don't you think it's weird he's making the kid observe him up close like that?

Kyoya:
There is a theory that people are considered more beautiful, the closer they're viewed.
Tamaki seems to live by that theory.
Well let's leave them alone.

Tamaki:
You naughty girl, you've drawn me to the forbidden fruit.
Dearest, you're the mermaid who's brought light into my lonely sea.
My mermaid princess.

Girl:
I remind you of a mermaid?

Shiro:
You look more like the carp that swim in my pond at home.
I'd never give false compliments like that.

Girl:
Carp!?

Tamaki:
Oh don't listen to him.
He's just a kid.
You know how kids are.
They can't help but be honest.

Girl:
Honest!?

Tamaki:
But that's just his opinion and I wouldn't say you look like a carp.
And even if you did look like a carp, you'd be the most beautiful carp of them all...

Girl:
So I am a carp!

Tamaki:
Uh no... that's not what I meant...

Girl:
Tamaki, you're an idiot!

Tamaki:
No wait, mermaid princess!

Shiro:
Man, what a crybaby.

Hikaru:
So how's it going, boss?
That's an adorable little apprentice you got there.

Kaoru:
Hikaru, do you wish you had a little brother like Shiro?

Hikaru:
Don't be silly.
I could search the globe and I'd never find a better brother than you, Kaoru.

Kaoru:
Hikaru.

Girl:
Look, they're doing it.

Girl:
Forbidden brotherly love.

Shiro:
They're homos!
And they're brothers!
That makes them totally "insectuous".

Tamaki:
I think what you meant to say was incestuous.

Honey:
Hey Shiro-chan!
You wanna have a piece of cake with me?
We've got three kinds, chocolate, strawberry, and lime.

Shiro:
Hey back off!
What grade are you in anyway?
Why are you wearing a high school uniform?

Mori:
Something wrong, Mitsukuni?

Shiro:
That's not fair!
A little kid like you isn't supposed to have a cool older friend like him!

Haruhi:
Are you all right?
I know.
It's kind of hard getting used to all the weirdos around here.
It took me a while to get adjusted to all the craziness.
So don't freak out.
I'm sure you'll get used to it.

Shiro:
This one kinda acts like a girl.

Haruhi:
Something wrong?

Shiro:
Are you a cross dresser?

Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Oh no!

Tamaki:
'Kay, that's enough.
I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us, don't you?

Kaoru:
Wow Haruhi, you're looking extra manly today.

Hikaru:
Now do what the boss says and let Shiro take care of that tea set.
It's part of his training.
You're too macho for tea sets.

Tamaki:
This kid is smarter than I thought.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
He may be a kid, but he's got quite an eye.

Haruhi:
Now be careful with it.
It's pretty heavy.

Shiro:
It's not my fault I dropped it.
It's you fault because you're the one who made me take it in the first place.

Haruhi:
Say what?

Kyoya:
Haruhi, that's another 100,000 yen.

Shiro:
Hey, you should make the cross dresser do all your stupid chores!
I'm not here to carry tea sets!
I'm here to learn how to make women happy!

Tamaki:
You won't get anywhere with that attitude.
And I am not going to let you disrespect Haruhi!
So... put this brat in isolation!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
You got it, boss.

Shiro:
What's going on here!?
Why'd you put me in a cage all of a sudden!?

Haruhi:
Yeah, where did it come from?
This is supposed to be a music room, right?

Shiro:
This is no way to treat your loyal apprentice!
Now let me out of this cage!

Tamaki:
Not until you've learned your lesson.
I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a host, but I guess I was wrong.

Shiro:
I am serious!
Totally serious!
I want you to teach me how to make a woman happy.
I'm gonna run out of time.
Please won't you teach me?
You're a host because you like girls.
You like bringing a smile to a girl's face.
That's why you do it, right?
Please won't you teach me to be like you.
You're a genius at it!
You're the king!

Tamaki:
Well, you may be a brat, but I admire your desire to become a host, so I'll teach you.
You know, Shiro, you and I are so much alike.

Haruhi:
You poor kid.

Shiro:
Then, you'll help me become the kind of host that can make any women happy?

Tamaki:
Of course.
Making women happy is the sole purpose of being a host.
If this is what you really want, Shiro, then you'll have to figure out how to use the material you already have.

Shiro:
What does that mean?

Kyoya:
You see, here at the Ouran host club, our policy is to use our individual personality traits to meet the needs of our guests.
For example, there's Tamaki, who is the princely type.
There's the strong silent type.
The boy-Lolita type.
The little-devil type.
And the cool type.
It's all about variety.
And now our group is complete with the addition of Haruhi, the natural.

Haruhi:
The natural?

Kyoya:
It would seem that right now we have a perfect blend of characteristics, so it's going to be difficult to find a new type for Shiro.

Hikaru:
If you go by his age, he should be the boy-lolita type.

Kaoru:
But Honey senpai's already got that covered.

Honey:
Is he going to replace me?

Renge:
Oh come on!
Is that all you got?

Haruhi:
What's up with this place?
It's supposed to be a music room.

Renge:
Sorry to interrupt gentlemen, but what's with the lackluster character analysis?
I must say I'm quite disappointed.
I thought I taught you better.

Tamaki:
All right then Miss manager, how would you work Shiro into our collection of characters?
He can't be the boy-lolita because Honey's already got that covered.

Renge:
You just don't get it, do you?
Now listen up!
There are plenty of girls out there who have a thing for younger boys or boys with baby faces.
These girls would be considered Shota fans.
Now Shota can be a very broad category.
So it's important to know that the genre can be broken down into many different smaller sub-categories.
For example, Shota fans with an interest in lolita boys would favor a boy like Haninozuka senpai.
But this little boy is different.
If I had to pick a character for him...
Yes!
He'd be the naughty boy type without a doubt!

Shiro:
The naughty type?

Renge:
Now to play up the naughty type, you have to wear shorts.
Okay.
You gotta have bumps and bruises!
Give him a couple of scars!
Run like a spoiled child!
Make it reckless.
Now I want you to trip and make it big!

Shiro:
Ah!

Renge:
Are you okay, little boy?
Now, give 'em your catch phrase!

Shiro:
No big deal.
It was nothing.

Renge:
Oh, that was perfect!
Absolutely perfect, Shiro!

Tamaki:
That was outstanding.
I never knew you were such a great coach, Renge.

Renge:
Ohohohoho!

Shiro:
They're idiots.
They're all a bunch of idiots.
I've had enough of you people!
This is so stupid!
None of this is ever gonna help me make her happy.

Haruhi:
Who's her?

Tamaki:
Wait, Shiro.
We haven't taught you how to apply the techniques you've learned yet!

Renge:
I swear younger boys are good for nothing.
I went to all that trouble to coach him.
And he quits.

Tamaki:
I can't believe he ditched us because he didn't like the lesson.
What a selfish little brat.

Haruhi:
There aren't many people who would enjoy that kind of lesson.
But never mind that.
Were you listening to what he said?

Shiro:
I'm gonna run out of time.
Please won't you teach me?

Haruhi:
He said he was gonna run out of time.
What do you think he means by that?
I think that, maybe, it's a girl.


Haruhi:
How did we let them talk us into this?

Honey:
It'll be okay, Haru-chan.
It was so easy to sneak in.
And wearing this uniform, I really look like I'm in elementary school.

Haruhi:
Yeah, you do.
I can understand why they wanted you to wear an elementary school uniform.
I mean we are sneaking into an elementary school.
And you totally fit in, senpai.
But what I don't understand is why they made me to dress up in this middle school uniform.

Tamaki:
All right men, it's time to initiate our mission.

Haruhi:
What do you mean?

Honey:
What mission?

Tamaki:
I've assessed the situation.
We'll infiltrate the elementary school.
You two are going in.

Haruhi and Honey:
But where are we going?

Haruhi:
Why did we even bother with disguises?
We stick out like a sore thumb.

Tamaki:
Oh there's a reason, a damn good reason.

Honey:
This way, Haru-Chan!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Isn't she the cutest?

Tamaki:
Ah, look at her in that mini skirt.
Haruhi looks like a little doll!

Kyoya:
So basically you just wanted to see her dressed up like that.

Honey:
This is it.
Shiro-chan's classroom.
When I was in elementary school, this was my classroom too!

Haruhi:
There's nobody here.

Tamaki:
So the kid's classroom is empty, isn't it?

Hikaru and Kaoru:
This sure takes me back.

Kaoru:
I wonder if doodles are still on my desk.

Kyoya:
Doubtful.
The school changes out the desks every year.

Hikaru:
Let's check out the cafeteria after this.

Kaoru:
I want to see the old gym.

Tamaki:
Good idea, Kaoru.

Haruhi:
Hey, if you're just gonna barge in here like that, then why are we wearing these stupid disguises?

Hikaru:
Don't worry about it.

Kaoru:
There's no one here to catch us.
If the teacher finds us...

Hikaru:
...we'll have a hard time explaining why we snuck in.

Haruhi:
Shh, shut up guys.
Just keep your lip zipped.

Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru:
Haruhi is the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Haruhi:
It's all right.
He's gone.
But you guys, we came here to get the scoop on Shiro.
So what do you think we should do now?

Kyoya:
Well, here's something interesting.

Haruhi:
What'd you find?
Hey, that's Shiro.

Kyoya:
So, he's in the classical music club.

Haruhi:
He looks like he's enjoying himself.
It's nice to see him with a smile on his face.
I had no idea he looked so sweet.

Tamaki:
Yeah.

Honey:
There he is.
There's Shiro-chan

Hina:
Excuse me, Takaoji?
I'm sorry but have you been practicing the new piece Teacher gave us?

Shiro:
The new piece?
Not really.

Hina:
If you want, I can show it to you.
Do you wanna come play with me?

Shiro:
No, thanks.
You go ahead.
After all, there's only one grand piano.
You should use it, Kamishiro.

Hina:
Thank you!
I will then.
And if you want to join me, just let me know.

Tamaki:
Pardon me, mademoiselle.
I've never seen a rose more lovely than you, my dear.
Here, this is for you.
I was wondering if you could tell me anything about that young lady playing the piano.
Do you know her?

Girl:
That's Hina Kamishiro.

Tamaki:
Her name is Hina?

Girl:
That's right, but you better not fall in love with her.

Tamaki:
Why?

Girl:
Didn't you know?
Hina has to move away soon.
Her dad just got a new job in Germany.
So they have to move there at the end of the week.

Shiro:
What do you think you're doing!?
I want you idiots to leave immediately!
Put me down!
What are you doing?!
Let me go!
Just put me down!

Tamaki:
It's time to go, gentlemen.
Quit thrashing around.

Shiro:
Put me down!

What is your problem, you big idiot!?

Tamaki:
I'm sorry but you're the idiot!
You said that you wanted me to teach you how to make women happy.
But that's not it, is it?
You're not concerned with the happiness of just any woman.
You've got your sights set on one woman in particular.
You only care about one, and that's Hina Kamishiro!
But I'm afraid, there's nothing I can do to help you with that.
Listen, Shiro.
I know that I told you it's the job of a host to make women happy.
But when you care for someone, you must find the courage to express what is in your heart!
You have to tell her how you feel about her!
You didn't come to me looking to become a full-fledged host.
You want to be a full-fledged man.

Shiro:
It doesn't matter anymore.
I've run out of time.
I just... I wanted to hear her play before she left for good.
That's all.

Tamaki:
That piece she played, it's Mozart's sonata in D major for two pianos, isn't it?

Haruhi:
Wait a minute.
Since when is there a grand piano in here?

Kaoru:
Well this is a music room, after all.

Hikaru:
So why wouldn't it have a grand piano?

Kyoya:
It is a music room, after all.

Mori:
It is a music room.

Honey:
It's always been there.
We've just had it covered up.

Shiro:
Awesome.

Hina:
Hey Takaoji, I noticed that you're always listening to me when I'm playing.
Do you like the piano?
If so, then why don't we learn to play together?

Shiro:
She played beautifully, but it wasn't the piano that I liked.

Tamaki:
For the next week you will spend your mornings, lunches, recesses, and free time after school in piano lessons with me.

Shiro:
But why?

Tamaki:
You wanted to be my apprentice, right?
Besides, that young lady looked like she wanted nothing more than to play the piano with you.

Host club members:
Welcome princess.
We've been waiting.

Tamaki:
I present to you Shiro Takaoji's piano recital.
If you please, princess.

Shiro:
Let's play together, Hina.

Hina:
Okay!

Tamaki:
We did a good thing.

Haruhi:
He loves with all his heart.
So I guess that's one more way Shiro takes after you, huh senapi?

Tamaki:
Why yes, I'd say so.

Haruhi:
So you've been exchanging e-mails with Hina everyday now that she's in Germany?

Shiro:
Yeah, more or less.
I like her, but she can get pretty jealous for an elementary school girl.
She'd be upset if she knew I was with you ladies, so let's keep this our little secret.

Girls:
Oh!
Oh, isn't he the cutest?
...so lucky.
I wish I had a brother just like him.

Girl:
Naughty boys are the best.

Girl:
I could kiss you.

Tamaki:
You brat, what are you doing?!
Those are my guests!

Shiro:
Well, it looks like they've found someone they like better.
It's so easy to steal your customers.
I think there's a new host king in town.

Tamaki:
Gaaah!

Kaoru:
I thought he'd make it through without exploding this time.

Hikaru:
We should have known he was going to blow up sooner or later.

Haruhi:
Shiro really does have a lot in common with Tamaki senpai.
I get the feeling that Senpai was also a spoiled brat when he was a kid.

Tamaki:
I was not a spoiled brat!
I was nothing like him when I was a kid!
I was a sweet, innocent, precocious adorable child!
Do you hear me!?


Hikaru:
All right, we're headed to the pool!

Kaoru:
We'll finally get to see Haruhi in a swimsuit!

Haruhi:
Oh, no!
Hunny-Sempi's being pulled away by the current!
Next time, "Jungle Pool SOS".

Tamaki:
The Ouran host club will be waiting for you!

Host club members:
We'll see you then!