Baka and Test>5. Maps, Treasures, and Striker Sigma V

Principal:
Let me think...
How should I do this?
Hmm...
I think I'll make it fun.

Akihisa:
Huh? Hey, what's happening, Yuuji?

Yuuji:
Clearly, something's going on.

Akihisa:
What kind of something?
Sponsored by Fumizuki Academy?
Compete for prizes?!
Beginning of the year contest?!


-- Episode 5 : "Maps, Treasures, and Striker Sigma V" --


Narrator:
Akihisa Yoshii has found a treasure.

Akihisa:
I can't remember the last time I ate this good.
Surprise attack!
Oh, man. These breadcrumbs are everything I thought they'd be.
They taste just like real bread!
I wish I had some jelly or something, this breakfast would be perfect.

Narrator:
One man's trash is another man's treasure.


Akihisa:
"Growl"
Man... I wonder how long those bread crumbs are gonna last me.

Narrator:
This is Fee the fox... a mascot character for the local amusement park.
She is very popular among young children.

Akihisa:
Hey, this is...

Narrator:
I just explained what it was in my narration.

Akihisa:
One of the kiddos dropped this comes back for it.
They just might.
I'll leave it here, so they can find it.
Huh?

Haduki:
Come on... Where are you?
Where did you go?

Akihisa:
Hey there, Haduki.
What're you doing on the ground?

Haduki:
Oh! Hi, Stupid Yoshii. How are you?
I dropped something earlier so I'm looking.

Akihisa:
Did you find it?

Haduki:
No, I can't find it anywhere.
It was a limited edition Fee cell phone strap...

Akihisa:
No way!
I just saw one of those over there!

Ahh! Freaking out right now!

Haduki:
No, Fee!

Mr. Fukuhara:
Is everything all right, Yoshii?

Akihisa:
Oh, sweet, Mr. Fukuhara!
Nice timing! I need my Avatar!

Mr. Fukuhara:
And why exactly do you need it?

Akihisa:
Because it's right over there!
It's an emergency!

Mr. Fukuhara:
You're overreacting.
But I'll approve it just this once.

Akihisa:
All right! I'm on this!
Summon!
Now, go bring back Fee!
It's up to you! Don't let it die!
Ow!

Haduki:
Are you okay?
My goodness. That was real dumb.

Akihisa:
Yeah, I know...

Principal:
Just what were you thinking? Or were you thinking at all?

Mr. Fukuhara:
Morning, Principal.
How are you?

Principal:
That was idiotic.
You've been told your Avatar is not a toy.

Akihisa:
I know that! I'm not stupid!
I was just trying to rescue Fee!
Ah...

Haduki:
Ah...

Akihisa:
Ahhhh!

Principal:
Well maybe this will teach you not to get too attached to childish things.

Akihisa:
Oh, yeah, well maybe this will teach you not to be so rude!
Huh?

Mr. Fukuhara:
I'm withdrawing my summoning approval.
You should never use your Avatar for violence, Yoshii.

Akihisa:
Violence, what?!
I was trying to help Haduki.

Principal:
Avatars aren't meant to be used by idiots.
When you're upset, try making [an/the] intelligent decision.
And then, you might actually get something you want for a change.

Akihisa:
Huh?
You all right, kiddo?

Haduki:
I'm fine. Don't worry.

Akihisa:
Sorry...


Akihisa:
I wonder if this is what the principal was talking about.

Minami:
They've listed all the prizes right here!

Akihisa:
Ah! What?!
Free cafeteria meals for a year?!
No way! Brand-new video game?!

Hideyoshi:
That seems rather extravagant.

Mizuki:
Oh, look at that! It says they're also giving away a secret item.

Akihisa:
Ah! Fee, Noin, and Ein limited edition cell-phone straps?!

Yuuji:
What are you like five now?
Why the hell would you want those things?

Akihisa:
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
What do you care?
I'll do whatever it takes to get them.

Hideyoshi:
This is a map of the Academy.

Akihisa:
So I have to search for it here?
That's cool. I'm really good at finding treasure boxes in RPGs!

Hideyoshi:
And, these are the test questions!

Akihisa:
Crap.

Yuuji:
Answering questions will give you the coordinates to the prize locations.
They put tickets there that you can exchange for whatever it is you actually want.

Akihisa:
That's just great!
You mean you have to know stuff in order to win things? How lame!

Hideyoshi:
This is first come, first serve.
But if you run into different teams, you can use your Avatars to take their tickets away from them.

Akihisa:
So, basically there's no way I'm gonna win this stupid thing!
Hold on! I've got Himeji.

Mr. Nishimura:
Everyone, shut up and sit down!
Check this list to find the team you'll be on for the contest.

Akihisa:
Who's mine? Yuuji and Hideyoshi?!
Wait! Who are the girls paired with?
Kouta?! No fair!

Mr. Nishimura:
I decided to group troubled students together.
It's more fun for me that way.

Akihisa:
What?! No, that's not fair!
I'll take Hideyoshi since he's cute, but why would you give me Yuuji?
He's no help at all!

Yuuji:
Whatever. Like working with you is a dream come true.

Mr. Nishimura:
You have until after the school bell rings.
Don't screw it up, Class F!
You will be graded on this!

Yuuji:
Each set has three questions.

Hideyoshi:
The answer to the first question shows the X-axis on the map.
The second one shows the Y point, and the third shows the Z, which will tell us what floor it'll be on.

Akihisa:
Sweetness! All the answers are multiple choice.
Piece of cake, my friends!

Yuuji:
Why? Are you good at multiple choice questions?

Akihisa:
I thought you knew of my area of specialty?
Well then, let me show you how I roll.

Yuuji:
You know, for a second, I actually believed you were smart.

Akihisa:
I use my Striker Sigma V for math!
For modern language, the Problem Breaker!
And I use the Shining for history!
They almost never fail!

Yuuji:
Yeah, I'm sure they don't.
Did you use those to figure out if you liked Himeji?

Akihisa:
Shut up! Just watch!

Yuuji:
Do we have to?

Akihisa:
Roar! Striker Sigma V!
There.
Heck yeah! I got it!
652 for the X-axis, 237 for the Y, and Z's 5!
Found it!
And the target is over there!

Hideyoshi:
So the target is in the sky.

Yuuji:
You can go get it.

Akihisa:
This is weird.
I think they must have screwed up the question.

Yuuji:
It's not the question that's screwed.

Aiko:
We found it!

Yuuji, Akihisa:
Hm?

Yuuko:
Cool!

Aiko:
Yay us!
We found one of the winning tickets!

Yuuko:
I guess we got the answers correct.

Aiko:
Because we're awesome!

Hideyoshi:
Well, it appears your X and Y numbers were accurate.

Akihisa:
See? I told you Striker Sigma V was incredible.

Yuuji:
What's incredible is you believe that crap.

Aiko:
It's a year's worth of free desserts from the cafeteria.
We should split it, you guys.

Shouko:
I don't want it.

Yuuko:
Why not? Are you on a diet now?

Shouko:
No, instead... if we find this, let me have it.

Yuuko:
You want two tickets so you can go to an amusement park?

Aiko:
She's gonna take her boyfriend with her!

Yuuko:
No... I'm gonna take my husband.

Yuuji:
Urgh...
I just got a really creepy chill.

Hideyoshi:
Your life is certainly complicated.


Minami:
Ugh!
Besides math, I've got nothing!
Wow, you're on fire.

Kouta:
Health and Phys Ed.
That's all I can do.

Mizuki:
I'm all done.

Minami:
You're so good!
Let's go get some tickets!


Kouta:
Wait... Do you know what this is?
Whoa, I'm going in the girls' locker room.

Minami:
Come on! We've got prizes to find!

Kouta:
Can't believe I'm in the girls' locker room right now...
But, where are all the girls?

Narrator:
They're not here.

Mizuki:
This would be easier if it wasn't so messy.

Minami:
Yeah, some chicks can be huge pigs when guys aren't around, you know.

Kouta:
No value here what with no girls changing.

Minami:
What's wrong, Kouta? You don't look good.

Kouta:
I'm just fine...
A-Amazing actually.

Mizuki:
Oh, no, Kouta!

Kouta:
Don't worry. I'm stronger than this.

Minami:
Kouta!

Kouta:
This is harder than I thought...


Principal:
Well now...
Let's see what an idiot's determination looks like.


-- Eye Catch --


Akihisa:
Let's roll! Problem Breaker!

Hideyoshi:
Should be... around here.

Akihisa:
In our class?!
Wonder what this is.

Yuuji:
Well genius, it's clearly not a ticket.

Akihisa:
Talk about weird.
Maybe I should sharpen it down or something.

Yuuji:
Like all the way down.

Mizuki:
Oh... I guess you found it, huh?

Akihisa:
What do you mean?
This your basket?

Mizuki:
Uh-huh... In the basket there's some... um...
Yoshii?!

Akihisa:
Yes, what is it?

Mizuki:
I was just wondering if you like sweets at all.

Akihisa:
Yeah, I love 'em!

Mizuki:
Wonderful!
Because inside the basket are some delicious chiffon cakes I baked earlier this morning.

Akihisa:
Wait... Are you telling me you know how to bake stuff, too?
Don't tell me!

Yuuji:
That's right. Your little Problem Breaker.
It really did find a prize.

Hideyoshi:
You've always been such a great guy.

Kouta:
We will never forget you.

Akihisa:
Why are you talking like you're at my funeral?

Mizuki:
If you boys are hungry, you're more than welcome to have one.

Everyone:
Ugh...

Mizuki:
Go on! Eat up!

Everyone:
Urgh...

Mizuki:
Ah... I'm so sorry.
But it looks like I'm short of cake.

Akihisa:
Ah!

Yuuji:
Ah!

Hideyoshi:
Ah!

Kouta:
Ah!

Akihisa:
There're three chiffon cakes, but there're four of us!
That means only one can survive.

Welcome to the first championship match, guys and girls...

Akihisa, Yuuji:
Rock-Paper-Scissors to the death!

Hideyoshi, Kouta:
Yay!

Akihisa:
If I lose... I die!

Minami:
Hmm...
Where'd Kouta and Mizuki go?
They've been gone forever.

Minami:
Man! This totally sucks!
I can't answer all these questions by myself!

Miharu:
Don't worry, baby.

Minami:
Huh?! Miharu?!

Miharu:
I'm right behind you.
I answered all your questions.

Minami:
Hey!

Miharu:
Oh, please don't be like that, baby.
Don't you know how harder I worked on these for you!
If we check the coordinates to the answers against the map...
I know this is going to be hard to believe, but it turns out the best prize can be found underneath your bra!

Minami:
What?!

Miharu:
You'd better let me search myself.
I promise to be as gentle as I can!

Minami:
No way! Freakjob! Get off me!

Miharu:
I can't do that!
Remember we're gonna be graded on our performance.
The numbers don't lie.
Lucky for you, I got here first!

Minami:
You're making a huge mistake, stop!

Miharu:
Well, if that's true, then we might as well make a mistake together, don't you think, baby!

Minami:
Noooooo!


Kubo:
Seriously...
I don't know why they're wasting everyone's time like this.
I'm here to advance my education, not play games.
The map points to these coordinates.
Ahh! This is... Yoshii's shoe locker!
I can't be found around here!
I've got to leave now...
Someone might think I'm about to put a love letter in there...
But still... I mean... I'm here... and the ticket could be inside!
No, stop!
I gotta think about this...
Now someone might get the impression I'm about to steal a love letter from his locker instead!
No, it's the prize in here I'm after!
And that's the excuse so I'll give it if anyone asks me about it.
But what if it's a creepy person, they could think whatever's inside his shoe locker, is a prize in and of itself!
I don't know how to handle that kind of competition!
No! What now! I don't know what to do!

Narrator:
You could stop screaming.


Hideyoshi:
I shall try!
Let's roll, Shining! Answer!

Akihisa:
Here it is! Way to go, Hideyoshi!
And...

Hideyoshi:
I don't believe I had anything to do with it.

Akihisa:
Okay, Let's see what we got.
What?! "Try again" ?!

Hideyoshi:
So this wasn't the right place after all.

Akihisa:
Shoot! I bet they gave us a trick question!

Yuuji:
I guess your magic stick failed, shocker.

Yoshii:
Maybe I should change the way the pointy part is angled.

Hideyoshi:
I seriously doubt that will increase its accuracy.

Yuuji:
Well, how about this? Look!

Hideyoshi:
You're kidding me. You answered them?

Akihisa:
You sure you got them right, Yuuji?
I mean I don't wanna go anywhere weird because they're wrong.

Yuuji:
Unlike your stupid pencil answers!

Hideyoshi:
Well, according to Yuuji, this should be the place.

Akihisa:
You were right! It's here!
How did you figure out all those questions?

Yuuji:
Simple.
I just looked for all the ones I knew and only answered those.

Hideyoshi:
I'm still fairly impressed though...

Akihisa:
But you're ranked like last in all the tests.
Tell me you didn't cheat, Yuuji!

Yuuji:
Hard to believe I might know something?

Hideyoshi:
Yoshii, what prize did we win?

Akihisa:
Let's see...
It's the VIP ticket to that amusement park.
It's supposed to be for a couple.

Hideyoshi:
According to the ticket, the couple is invited to a special event, referred to as the Wedding Experience.

Akihisa:
Nice. That sounds like fun!
Yuuji, you wanna use it and take Shouko?

Yuuji:
Put that away before she hears you!
It won't just be an experience. She'll make it real!
Get that disgusting thing out of my face!
I don't wanna see it!

Akihisa:
If you're sure, Hideyoshi, you wanna go with me on Sunday?

Hideyoshi:
No, it's supposed to be for a couple.

Akihisa:
So then... are you saying that you don't like me?

Hideyoshi:
I'm a guy!

Akihisa:
Rejected!
The pain is making me cold.
I have to end this misery!
There's only one way...
Hideyoshi! I like you!

Hideyoshi:
Why're you acting like a jack ass!

Akihisa:
How can you ask me that question?
You know why I'm doing this.
It's 'cause the legend that says if you confess your love under a special tree, you'll never feel pain again!

Yuuji:
There's no legend like that.

Akihisa:
There is to.
The tree was used to build our school, duh!
And according to the legend, Hideyoshi is the name of a hot chick.
In other words, if I confess my love to Hideyoshi in this school, I'll be happy forever!

Class F's guys:
What'd you say, Yoshii?!

Hideyoshi:
There're so many holes in that logic.
I honestly don't even know where to begin.

Class F's guys:
We like you, Hideyoshi! Give it a shot!

Hideyoshi:
What are you doing?!
Have you all gone crazy?!


Yuuji:
Of course, everything we found was completely worthless.

Hideyoshi:
This challenge is difficult for idiots.

Yuuji:
Doesn't look like there're a lot of prizes left anymore.

Hideyoshi:
I wonder what the super secret prize might have been.

Akihisa:
Hey!
No one's found the Fee's cell strap yet!

Hideyoshi:
You wanna keep playing? Really?

Yuuji:
The only questions remaining are the hardest ones.
I don't suppose you'd wanna randomly dig through the schoolyard for it?

Akihisa:
Ah... Random... maybe...
I got it! I know the rest of the answers!

Hideyoshi:
What're you doing?

Akihisa:
Isn't it obvious I'm choosing every single answer that's available on the test!

Yuuji:
Every one?

Akihisa:
Because there're a ticket hidden where at least one of these X's and Y's are crossed!
Why didn't I think of this before?

Hideyoshi:
What about the height?!

Akihisa:
Easy. Check all floors!

Hideyoshi:
There're way too many.
We can not go through all of these and search them.

Akihisa:
Sure we can.
We're not doing anything else, are we?

Hideyoshi:
This is unreasonable...

Yuuji:
Yeah, it is. But it sounds interesting.
We can't solve the questions anyway.
Let's show this school idiots can think outside the box too.
I think we should go for it.

Akihisa:
Me too.
Let's go!

Yuuji:
I'll go check the fourth floor!
Akihisa, you're on the first!
Hideyoshi, you take the second!

Akihisa:
Okay!

Hideyoshi:
Got it!

Yuuji:
Cleaning closets... Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Akihisa:
Nope! Ugh!

Yuuji:
Hmm... Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Kouta:
Ocupado.

Yuuji:
Locker...!
Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Akihisa:
A dog! Argh!

Yuuji:
Which one?!

Girls:
Ahhhhh!

Boys:
Ahhhhh!

Mr. Nishimura:
Ugh!

Akihisa:
Ahhhhh!

Yuuji:
Trash bin!
Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Akihisa:
Argh...
Why me!?

Yuuji:
Ladies' Room!
Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Akihisa:
Oh?

Someone:
Someone in here.

Akihisa:
Ahahaha...

Yuuji:
Fish tank!
Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Akihisa:
Ah! Son of a...

Yuuji:
One more time!
Nope!

Hideyoshi:
Nope!

Kouta:
Ocupado.

Yuuji:
One more time!

Boy:
I'm in here!

Girl:
I'm in here!

Akihisa:
Oh, good! It's open!
What am I doing in here?!

Yuuji:
Damn. We found nothing.

Hideyoshi:
Maybe there's just nothing left.

Akihisa:
Huh? No, wait!
We haven't checked up here yet!

Hideyoshi:
But... where could they've possibly hidden something?

Akihisa:
Get out of town.
The Fee's strap still hasn't been found.
It has to be here.
Huh?

This is it! I was right!
Check this!
We found it even though we knew none of the answers... Huh?

Yuuko:
Really?
That's funny considering I found it because I did know.

Akihisa:
Uh... It's her...

Hideyoshi:
Yuuko! Why are you here?

Aiko:
According to the rules, we can take it by fighting with our Avatars.
Isn't that right?

Akihisa:
This is bad...

Mr. Fukuhara:
I'll approve it.

Akihisa:
Aahh...

Yuuko, Aiko, Shouko:
Summon!

Akihisa, Hideyoshi, Yuuji:
Summon!

Hideyoshi:
This is not good at all.
There's no way we'll win.

Yuuji:
Who'da guessed we'd end up having to fight these girls.

Akihisa:
You guys... What now?

Shouko:
We will not hold back.

Yuuko:
Are you jerks ready?

Aiko:
Okay then, bye-bye!

Aiko:
Huh?

Yuuko:
What happened?!

Mr. Fukuhara:
You ran out of time.

Akihisa:
Wait, does that mean...

Yuuji:
We got it.

Hideyoshi:
We won.

Akihisa:
Yes. We rock! Hahaha...

Awesome!
It's a Fee's cell phone strap.
How sweet, it's a set of three!

Yuuji:
Oh, good for you.

Akihisa:
I can't wait to give them to Haduki.

Akihisa:
Hm?

Yuuji:
Hm?

Akihisa:
Hey, what's this?

Hideyoshi:
Maybe we ended up with the secret item.

Akihisa:
I wonder what they're supposed to do?
Look, there's a manual.
Iron bracelets...
Their activation word is "Awaken"...

Hideyoshi:
That doesn't tell us anything...

Yuuji:
Yeah, what happens after they activate.

Akihisa:
Let's try it!

Akihisa, Yuuji, Hideyoshi:
Awaken!

Yuuji:
It's a field!

Hideyoshi:
And no teachers...

Akihisa, Yuuji, Hideyoshi:
Summon!

Akihisa:
This is beyond cool!

Hideyoshi:
With these bracelets, we'll be able to summon our Avatars whenever we want!

Yuuji:
The field might be kind of tiny, but who the heck cares?!

Yuuji:
Ugh!

Hideyoshi:
Ugh!

Hideyoshi:
Hold on! Why do my clothes always end up torn off?!

Yuuji:
Akihisa... Nothing happened to yours, right?

Akihisa:
No, I guess not.

Yuuji:
Looks like only an idiot can use them.

Akihisa:
What the hell are you talking about?
You're an idiot too, Yuuji!

Yuuji:
Yeah, but you're a first-rate idiot.

Akihisa:
What?!

Yuuji:
An ultimate idiot.

Akihisa:
Ah...

Yuuji:
You're the supreme idiot!

Akihisa:
What's that supposed to mean?!


Principal:
Interesting...
Obviously there're still improvements to be made.
Funny...
Blunt scissors and fools can be valuable if you make wise use of them.
Redeeming qualities can be found anywhere in anyone.


[Preview]

Mr. Fukuhara:
Question 6.
What strokes does the individual medley in swimming consist of?

Akihisa:
Anime Song Medley, Pop Music Medley, and chocolate.

Mr. Fukuhara:
I do happen to like chocolate.

Akihisa:
Next time, "Me, Pools, and Swimsuit Paradises... and..."

Mr. Fukuhara:
This will be on the test.