Negima!>1. Asinus in cathedra

There! 65 pieces of fried tofu. Now all that's left to do is the dance. Oh this had better work. Okay, time to focus. Professor Takahata, I clear my thoughts and focus on what'll be. Professor Takahata, no one else is hot-ta, be my homeroom teacher, hey!

Asuna. I thought I found you here.

Oh! I'm following the spell, just (like) you told me to, Konoka! The costume was tricky. I had to beg the entire drama department. Isn't it great? I wanted to shark but they said they needed to use for Jaws The Musical this Fall.

You'd swim with the sharks if it meant spending more time with Takahata. I knew you were desperate but this is ridiculous.

Ah! Konoka! For your sake, this had better be a real spell!

Uh of course it is!

Takahata is perfection. So manly the way he flicks through his text book. He's taught me the greatest lesson of all, LOVE!

That's sweet. I mean creepy, but sweet.

Hey, shut up! Proofessor Takahata, no one else is (hot-ta), be my homeroom teacher, hey!

Don't forget, you have to repeat the chanting exactly 3 times, no more, no less. Lucky you have the gym all to yourself. This could've been blackmail material for years.

Would you give it a rest? I told you I'm trying to finish this and I've got only about an hour!

Actually more like 15 minutes. School starts today (at) 30, remember?

Ah! Oh, I better change. Middle school, here we come!

How are we doing on time?

T-minus ten minutes and counting.

8:20? Hurry up or the best seats will be taken!

Attention all of Mahora Academy students, the starting bell will ring in less than 10 minutes. Let's start new xxx right. Don't be late to class. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

These girls must've come off the last train. At least we're not the only ones behind schedule. Hey, want to race?

Huh? Whoa! Who are you trying to race? Everyone?

Relax. If you lose, it won't affect your GPA. But we can't be late!

The spell is insurance, that's all. We both know Takahata will be with us again. Who else would they get? If someone had taken his place, we would've heard something by now.

Hello there.

Huh?

You know, not everyone can be lucky enough.

Do you like that face you're wearing?

I meant… you have an unusual love aura about you.

I'll take that as a no! Any last words, kid?

I was just trying to help.

Mind your own business, Shorty!

Umm Asuna, anger management, please.

This isn't like last time. You see me break glass windows around?

Thankfully no. Hello. You must be lost, little boy. This is Mahora Academy, an all girl's school. The Elementary is two blocks south east of here. Do you think you can find it by yourself?

Hey! Kids aren't allowed here. Especially snot nosed little boys, with tiny minds, and big stupid mouths.

Oh my goodness. Gesundheit.

You saw?

Uh uh… not much… a bear?

The last bear you'll ever see!

(Don't.) (I) didn't do it on purpose! Hitting me won't solve anything.

No but it'll feel good! If I ever catch you around here again, you're dead! Takahata!

She's usually nice. Unfortunately, you've caught her on a bad day.

Move your keister, Konoka!

Right behind you!

Hurry up. There's not much time.

Fuka, are you sure this is a good idea?

Of course. It's full proof.

Oh please, oh please… let our teacher be a woman.

Nodoka, you have to get over those. It's not like you can make men disappear. You'll have to deal with them sooner or later.

But why?

Yue's right. Here. Check this out.

Haruna… enough, she'll have nightmares.

You're right. Sorry.

Hello, there girls.

Hey. You guys are in 2-A with us?

What? Did you think you could get rid of us this year? Not a chance, four-eyes.

Yue, Nodoka, and Haruna. Wow!

Yeah, the entire library club present and accounted for.

It's good to see you guys.

Oh, it's you.

I thought I'd recognize your shrilled voice, Asuna. You're looking exceptionally average today. Did you finally take my advice and put on some makeup?

Careful, Ayaka! Your horns are starting to show!

Oh no. What are you gonna do? Go run and xxx your mommy on me? Oh wait, she's dead.

Watch it, you ugly coward or I'll put every pound of bleach hair on your big head before you can say French Manicure!

Yeah, I'm going to need one after I slash your eyes out, freak!

Those two haven't changed since Elementary school, have they?

I know he is the cutest ever.

Setsuna… Setsuna? It's good to see you, I'm glad we are in the same class.

Professor Takahata, I believe our new teacher has arrived. He's waiting for us in the Dean's office.

Great. Thank you. Ahh Negi, a special lad.

Well then, I better not keep them waiting.

Satsuki. Any guesses on who our teacher will be?

No idea. But I hope he brings candy.

I hear Takahata might not teach at all this year.

I heard the same thing. Anyone know why?

Bet it's something juicy.

He's here!

Asuna, its time.

Please be Professor Takahata. Please be Professor Takahata!

Oh man! It totally worked! Huh?

It's him. It's the kid.

I'm so lost.

Are you okay?

I'm so sorry. I thought you were our teacher.

My my, you girls give a rough welcome.

Oh my gosh, it worked! I knew you were going to be our teacher, Professor Takahata!

No… he's going to be your teacher.

Ahh… He, who? Him?

Hello everyone. I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Professor Negi Springfield. And I'm your new homeroom teacher.


I umm… I specialize in the magic uh… I mean English… It's nice to be here.

How old are you?

I'm uh… uh I'm ten.

Tell us where you're from. Speak up.

Well, I was born in Whales.

I love the ocean!

Whales, England!

Hey, you must be really smart.

Academically, I achieved a bachelor's degree.

Oh wow! He's a bachelor!

Is this some kind of a joke?

Nope. It's real.

I'll be better this time. I won't set anything he owns on fire, okay?

Simply adorable. Can we keep him, Professor?

Now girls, he's your instructor. Not a pet. So be nice, okay?

Professor Springfield will be teaching your English class this year. Try not to scare him away too quickly.

Yes sir!

Yes Sir!

Hold on, I have a question for you, Professor Springfield.

How do you explain… the eraser?

The eraser?

That's right. I want a straight answer, punk!

Push pause, freak. Now take a good long look around you. Do you see anyone else here going mental? Why don't you be a good little girl and go take your meds? At least let us learn something from him before you go postal on us, would you? Who knows, maybe you'll have a taste for the young ones, too.

What's that, blondie? If you got something you want to say, then say it!

I just think you shouldn't take out your Takahata frustrations on the new professor.

Oh clam it, Goldilocks.

Let's get one thing clear, Bells. I know you've been jealous of me since birth!

Oh I touch a nerve? News flash, Takahata prefers blonde than all men.

xxx you like it when you're bald!

Please stop! No, no!

We're sorry, Professor.

Ladies, it's not me you owe the apology.

Yeah, but Professor! You didn't hear what the rat said to me.

Miss, my intention was to inform. Not …to offend. Achoo!

Hehe… a bear.

Well Professor, best of luck.

Thank you, sir.

Well umm… please open your text books and turn to page 7.

Please sir, use this.

Thank you.

I can boost you up if you like.

No I think I'm fine for now.

There is something weird about this little twerp, I know it. I'll just have to get him to expose whatever it is. Let's just see how he handles this

It hit him. how strange, I thought for sure he'd make them float away or disappear. Fine I'll just have to try harder.

Professor Springfield, what's wrong?

Something keeps striking me in the head.

Not something, sir. It's someone. That evil monkey-girl Asuna.

You better watch your back around that viper. She's conniving and will stop at nothing to get what she wants, no matter who she has to step on or destroy along the way. You can't believe a word she say ah! Ok! You want a war? You got one, red!

Bring it on, blockhead. I'll whip the snot out of your little brown nose!

Blockhead? Seriously, what are you, five?

No, that's your IQ score moron!

Girls, please settle down. Whichever you disagree, xxx can't be solve in...

Umm, hello? Are you okay, Professor?

Oh. yes. Thank you. Tell me, are those two always so difficult?

That's what I thought. Break it up this instant!

Class is over!

Well that could've gone better.

Okay as class representative, I'm selecting Haruna and Yue to handle the refreshments.

We're on it.

I don't know if they'll be time. We have lots of work to do at the library.

Oh, don't worry. I can handle it by myself. I'm used to it.

Asuna, here's what I need you to take care of.

What? What's that?

It's called a shopping list. These are the items I need you to pick up for tonight, got it?

We need fertilizer?

Well that's just the luck of the draw, bells. Everything else has already been assigned. Sorry.

Attention! Is everyone clear on their jobs?

Oh man! This sucks!

You're speaking my language there.

Forgive me. It's been a rough day. I never knew teaching would be so physical.

Hahahahaha. Oh yes, I forgot.

Forgot what, sir?

Your class list.

My goodness! How am I ever going to remember all of their names?

Try assigning a seating chart. I wanted to give this to you earlier but I haven't finished editing my comments yet.

This is fantastic, thanks.

Here are the returns.

So I take it you are working solo today, huh?

Yeah, Yue and Haruna had a job to do today for the class, so…

Too bad. Listen you have to give me the dirt. Is the rumor true that your homeroom teacher is a kid?

He's ten. But he's certified, he's got a bachelor's degree in education.

Oh men, that is so wild. So I guess he's like this child prodigy or something,

Yeah, I guess so.

How cool would it be to sail your way through public school and ride into higher learning. Gosh, I'd give anything to meet him. I bet he's really cute,

Yeah. he sort of is. I guess.

Hi, I need to purchase 35 paper cups and plates. Oh, and do you sell fertilizer? It's okay if you don't, I totally understand.

Well, today was my first lesson and I didn't even make it through one page.

Stupid little runt. He came and messed up everything. I did that spell for nothing, and I hate fried tofu! This kid's gonna pay!

Student number 27 is Nodoka Miyazaki. General library committee member, librarian, library club. Oh, here she comes now I think. Look out! I'm coming!

Nodoka, please be all right.

Who are you?