Ouran High School Host Club>23. Tamaki’s Unwitting Depression!

Kasanoda:
Hey are you okay?
I'm sorry about...

Haruhi:
Get out!

Kasanoda:
Ma...
Ma!!


"Tamaki's Unwitting Depression!"


Kasanoda:
M-My bad!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Peeping Tom!

Kasanoda:
Aah!

Hikaru:
You saw.

Kaoru:
Didn't you, Bossanova?

Kasanoda:
No!
I didn't see!
I mean, I kind of glanced, yeah, but it was all so fast!
I didn't!
It was just an accident!
I swear to you that I'm not a pervert!

Honey:
Of course, you would say that sure sign of a guilty conscience.

Kasanoda:
How is it that the lovely item is the scariest person in the room?!
So then Fujioka is a girl?

Hikaru:
Red alert!
He's onto Haruhi's little secret.

Kaoru:
That's not good.

Hikaru:
So, let's hear it.

Kaoru:
How much of her maidenly terra incognita did you actually see?

Kasanoda:
Well, she was changing, so I saw her underwear.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
You saw Haruhi's underwear?!

Kaoru:
So what do we do?

Hikaru:
There's only one thing to do.
We have to induce amnesia.
Hold him.

Kyoya:
That's enough, you two.
Leave assault and battery to the professionals.

Kaoru:
What are you?
Made of ice?
How can you be so calm about this?

Hikaru:
Look!
The boss is so deep in shock, he's regressing!

Kyoya:
Well, now that it appears the proverbial cat is out of the bag, let's talk.
Haruhi is compelled to hide the fact that she is a girl due to certain mitigating circumstances.
Well, we can't physically force you to cooperate exactly.
There is something I would like you to bear in mind.
Coming from the sort of family you do, I'm certain you hear all sorts of juicy little rumors, enough to know what is true and what is not.
Take the Otori family's private police force, the Black Onion Squad.
It is said that they can be mobilized against our enemies in the blink of eye.
You have heard of them, right?

Kasanoda:
Clearly, this isn't just a talk.

Haruhi:
Come on, guys.
Stop scaring, Kasanova.
Sorry about all this.

Kasanoda:
Hey, Fujioka.

Haruhi:
Look, it's all right.
It doesn't really matter to me.
You can tell whoever you want to.

Hikaru:
Well well, Bossanova.

Kaoru:
Since you know she is a girl, are you in love?.

Man:
Tetsuya, how is the young lord?

Man:
Did he refuse to eat dinner, again?

Tetsuya:
Yeah.

Man:
Damn it all!
What is wrong with him?!
Are we not giving him the support like you told us to?
When is he gonna slap the hell out of this?

Man:
And what about kick the can, huh?
Did I chug all those drinks for nothing?!
We were supposed to play!

Man:
I mean, did you see his face when he came home from school today?
The young lord looked like he just killed somebody.

Tetsuya:
Stop it now, please everyone.
You mustn't be discouraged.
The emotional support has been getting through to him, I know it.
It's just...

Man:
What?

Tetsuya:
Well, it's obvious that there's something different weighing on his mind today.

Man:
Well then, what's the matter?

Tetsuya:
As I was bringing the young lord his dinner earlier this evening...
Young lord?

Kasanoda:
Like... Love... Like... Love... Like... Love...
I knew it!
I'm in love with Fujioka!

Man:
So, you're saying he is...

Men:
In love?

Man:
Does the young lord even have a chance?

Tetsuya:
Oh yeah, I see the two of them hanging out together at school all the time.
Fujioka does have an unusually cute little face.
I mean, for a guy.

Man:
I don't understand.
What does that mean?

Man:
It means he's in love with a dude?

Haruhi:
I'm sorry about all this, casanova.

Kasanoda:
This is bad.
Now that I know he's a she, I can't get her out of my mind.

Haruhi:
No peeking, you naughty boy.

Kasanoda:
She's just so cute.

Haruhi:
Look, it's all right.
Doesn't matter to me.
You can tell whoever you want to.

Kasanoda:
She was, she was bluffing.
Oh, how incredibly brave!
My poor Fujioka!
She must really be in some kind of desperate situation if she has to dress like a guy and pretend to be a host!
All right, from this point forward, I'll keep Fujioka's secret even if it costs me my life!

Girl:
It's Kasanoda, from Class D.

Girl:
I heard he made himself Mori's apprentice.

Girl:
I wonder if that means he's training to be a Host too?

Kasanoda:
I'd like to request Fujioka.

Girl:
What is this?

Girl:
Is he for real?!

Renge:
The genuine article, at long last!

Girl:
Renge, is it true?
Is he really?

Girl:
Could he really be that kind of persuasion?

Kasanoda:
What are they going on about?
You know, before yesterday people froze in terror if I so much as look at them!
But for some reason today is different.
However hard I glare, no one is freezing.
Just the opposite.
All eyes are on me.
And it burns!

Haruhi:
Welcome, Kasanova.
So you're our guest today huh?

Kasanoda:
Well, that's right.
Come on.
Keep it together, Ritsu.
Don't lose your cool.

Haruhi:
Would you like to have some tea?
How much sugar do you normally put in?

Kasanoda:
Here.
Let me help.

Haruhi:
Now now, you're our guest, it's okay.

Kasanoda:
Tea made especially for me.

Haruhi:
So tell me.
Is this your first time in a place like this?
Ha ha, gotcha.

Kasanoda:
You sure have this down, huh?

Haruhi:
Well trust me, it didn't come naturally at all, at least not at first.
But then I realized if I just sat back and had fun with it, everything sort of fell into place on it's own.

Kaoru:
Hey, don't just stand there Kyoya senpai!
Get him out of here!

Hikaru:
If he's getting along with his goons so well now, why does he need to be here in the first place?!

Kyoya:
He has kept Haruhi's secret so far and since he is after all a paying guest, I can see no reason to reject him.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
But the other guests are afraid!

Kyoya:
Oh no, I think not.
Observe.

Girl:
The look on his face is just priceless.

Girl:
I've never seen someone so in love before.

Renge:
Hello Sumire?
Forget about your stupid violin lesson and hightail it to the Host Club!
I'm telling you.
This is a one in a million chance to witness something truly amazing!

Girl:
Hello, Kurakano?
You've gotta get to the host club right now!
If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life!

Kyoya:
See?
We're just fine.
Thanks to him we may even set a new record.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
You, money grubbing enabler!

Haruhi:
Can I pour you another cup of tea?

Kasanoda:
Ah yes, thank you.

Hikaru:
Oh no, she's giving him the adorable smile!

Kaoru:
The one which no man can resist.

Honey:
Wow, usually you guys wouldn't waste any time interrupting the two of them.

Hikaru:
Yeah, but our hands are tied after our screw up in Karuizawa.
Haruhi would never forgive us if we butted in.

Kaoru:
Karuizawa was really your screw up, Hikaru.

Hikaru:
Hey Boss, are you done being shell-shocked yet?

Kaoru:
Yeah, we could really use our King right about now.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Go get'em!

Tamaki:
Ma!

Haruhi:
Tamaki senpai?
Um, just what exactly are you doing?
Hey, if you want to sit down, do it over there.
You can play with this if you need a distraction.
It's a little freebie I got at the supermarket when I bought the instant coffee earlier.

Tamaki:
Look, I've solved it, Haruhi.

Haruhi:
Wow, that was fast.
Okay now, try to see if you can put them back together.

Tamaki:
Ma.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
That moron...

Tamaki:
Ma?

Hikaru:
Earth to Boss!
Will you snap out of it already?!
The longer you sit there like an idiot playing robot, the worse the situation becomes for all of us!

Tamaki:
Ma.

Hikaru:
Now listen to me carefully!
You can't let this happen!
If she and that two-bit thug hit it off, she's going to spend her life as a mob wife!

Tamaki:
Ma!

Haruhi:
Low life snitch, you ratted me out!

Tamaki:
What?
No way!


Tamaki:
Daddy won't stand for that!

Haruhi:
Please don't do this.

Tamaki:
Bossanova!
Just what do you think you're trying to do here?!
You've established a bond with your henchmen didn't you?!
Why aren't you with them right now?!

Hiakru:
You tell him, sir!

Kaoru:
Yeah!

Tamaki:
What about Kick the Can?!
You remember that?!
You shoud be out there enjoying life to the fullest with your friends while you're still young enough to appreciate it, before it all slips away right under your nose!
Why are you harassing my Haruhi?!
As her father, I forbid you to see her!

Kasanoda:
Wait.
What?
You're telling me that you're Fujioka's dad?
You've gotta be kidding me.
That's just not possible.

Hikaru:
Oh no.

Kaoru:
He's painted the Boss into a corner.

Tamaki:
Well, we might not be related by blood.

Kasanoda:
Okay, so what?
Are you married to her Mom, then?

Tamaki:
No, as a matter of fact, I've never met the woman.

Kasanoda:
So I guess you really aren't her father, are you?

Honey:
Wah!
Tama-chan!
I'll catch you!

Tamaki:
He's right.
You know, strictly speaking, I'm not Haruhi's real father.

Hikaru and Kaoru:
Uh, strictly speaking or otherwise.

Kaoru:
Hey look!
He's waking up!

Tamaki:
I need to sort this out.

Kaoru:
Sort what out exactly?

Tamaki:
If, supposing I'm not my Haruhi's daddy after all...

Hikaru:
We don't have to suppose it, boss.

Tamaki:
Then, how can it be that I find her so utterly adorable?

Kaoru:
Ah, what are you talking about?

Tamaki:
When she's with another man, why is it that I become so insanely jealous?
I'm not her father, I have no right to be so protective, no right whatsoever.

Kaoru:
So then uh, tell me what exactly is with the whole making Haruhi your wife one day thing?

Tamaki:
I know!
Daddies don't typically wanna marry their little girls when they're all grown up, do they?

Kaoru:
What about keeping her from kissing anyone?

Tamaki:
I only wanted to preserve those precious lips.

Kaoru:
Preserve, really?
That's a very interesting choice of words, sir.
You think everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is now and having this family setting will keep it all from changing, right?

Hikaru:
Hey, Kaoru.

Tamaki:
I don't understand.

Kaoru:
He's an idiot!
Is he really that oblivious?!

Kyoya:
Naturally he's got a point.
I mean you're delusional, yes.
Any half-wit could see that but who knew that you were so.

Honey:
Tama-chan is completely blind when it comes to himself.

Hikaru:
Kaoru, just what did you mean by things changing?

Kaoru:
Oh, nothing.
Just a little theory I have which I'm probably completely wrong about.

Kasanoda:
Uh, you think everything is alright over there?
I mean I didn't say anything to set him off, did I?

Haruhi:
Who knows?
Although when I think about it, Tamaki senpai is like my dad in some ways.

Tamaki:
Did you hear that gentlemen?
Apparently in some ways, I am like Haruhi's father.

Kyoya:
Well, to be more precise, I think what she's saying is that you and her father do share some personality traits, in actuality...

Tamaki:
I've got it!
I've got it now!
I'm like a father to her!

Kyoya:
And we've lost him yet again.

Kasanoda:
Fujioka, do you think that we can maybe do this more often?
Because I was just thinking since you entertain girls all day long, it might kind of give you a break from all that.
You know, if I came around.
I mean if, if you want that, that is...

Haruhi:
Absolutely!
That way you and I can get more acquainted!

Renge:
Here it comes!

Kasanoda:
Fujioka, I...
Losing control!
Can't hold back, feelings!
I, uh, have something to say!
I just wanted to tell you.
I just wanted to tell you... that I'm...

Haruhi:
That you're excited to have someone you can relate to, aren't you?
I know I sure am.
A conversation like this is a rare thing for me.
We're going to be great friends.

Renge:
Uh oh, hung out to dry.

Girl:
He's totally just got shot down.

Girl:
He didn't even get a chance to confess his love.

Girl:
Ew, friend thing.
That was really sting.

Girl:
I bet that rejection haunts for the rest of his life.

Girl:
Ah, that poor guy.

Girl:
It's so tragic.

Kasanoda:
Okay, did not think that one through.
I guess if she has to live her life as a guy, dating a guy would probably raise some suspicions.
So be it then.
For Fujioka's sake, there's only one thing to do!
Of course, the two of us are gonna be friends!
Best of friends!
Forever!

Honey, Hiakru and Kaoru:
Bossanova!

Girls:
Kasanoda!

Renge:
Kasanova!
How lovely!
That was absolutely beautiful!

Girls:
You moved us to tears.

Girl:
We'll be your friend!

Girl:
That was breathtaking!

Girl:
Do it again!

Hikaru:
We wanna be friends of you, too, Bossanova!

Kaoru:
Let's play kick the can!

Honey;
I know I'm your senpai, but I'll still be your friend!
You can even borrow Usa-chan!

Renge:
I will include a special on you in Moe Moe Ouran Diaries Volume 11!
Adieu, brave one!

Kyoya:
What's the matter, Tamaki?

Tamaki:
When I think about how Bossanova must have been feeling, my heart goes out to him a little.

Kyoya:
That's strange, isn't it?
I mean as Haruhi's father, you shouldn't feel sympathy for the man who was trying to take your precious little girl away now, should you?

Tamaki:
Hyper starlight kick!

Kasanoda:
1... 2... 3... 4...

Tamaki:
Quick, in here.
Hey, what are you doing?
This hiding place is only for Haruhi and me!
Got it!

Kaoru:
What kind of rule is that?

Hikaru:
Yeah!
And for that matter, why do you and Haruhi always have to hide together in the first place?

Tamaki:
Idiot!
It is perfectly natural for a father to hide with his daughter!

Kyoya:
Some might disagree.

Haruhi:
Shh!!
Would all of you just be quiet?!

Honey:
So, Hika-chan may seem oblivious, but deep journey's beginning to understand his feeling?
And even though it's clear for the rest of us how Tama-chan feels, he's so completely in dark about himself?

Mori:
Yeah.

Honey:
Then what about Kao-chan and Kyo-chan?
Between the two of them, I bet there's someone even more oblivious than Tama-chan is.
Considering that, I wonder If something really big is gonna happen before we graduate.

Mori:
You never know.

Kyoya:
Well, for starters, why even kick the can?

Haruhi:
Hey, stop pushing so hard!

Tamaki:
Get your hands off my Haruhi!

Hikaru and Kaoru:
She doesn't belong to you!!

Tamaki:
Oh yeah?!
It's not me, then who?!

Haruhi:
I do not belong to anybody!


Haruhi:
Kyoya senpai, how did someone cool like you get roped into something crazy as the host club?

Tamaki:
The secret of the host club's birth is about to be revealed

Kyoya:
Would you please shut up?

Haruhi:
Next time, "And so Kyoya Met Him!"

Tamaki:
The ouran host club will be waiting for you.

Host club members:
We'll see you then.