The following materials are for the attention of level 6 Nitidans or higher. This oral biography was conducted during the days following the "Revelation," the commonly given name for Stage 4 of the Nitidan blueprint. It compiles several eye-witness reports. Its aim is to measure the social attitudes towards levels of female hyper-obesity previously unknown to the public--
John "Tucker" Sherwin - Hospital Porter: Honestly, bro, I was under one of the verandas blazing. When I saw her going in I thought I'd had some laced shit or some shit. Dr. S. Lawrence - Chief of Medicine at N. Vancouver Hospital: Will this take long? Just the basics? Okay. Well I knew something was amiss when I was paged to the front entrance. Usually my afternoons are spent with mountains of paper work and I'm never called down unless there's a serious emergency. I hadn't the foggiest what was waiting for me. Tucker: Bro, it was fucked, bro. Mrs. Wanda Jones - Retiree: Let me see… yes, I remember. I was in the waiting room, I have a bad hip, you see. It always plays up in the cold and since my Arthur died I've had to walk to the grocery store, so I can't be going about with a bad hip, can I? What's that, dear? Oh, yes, I remember. I was in the waiting room. All the nurses came rushing past, including that handsome young Dr. O'Brien. Very nice young doctor, foreign, but I always find they’re the best doctors. He's very good, he's seeing me for my hip. I have a bad hip, you see. Carlos Juan - Former Mexican Restaurant Owner: She fucking clean me out. Fucking fat bitch. She come, she eat all my food, she have people bring food to her, feed her. Doesn’t lift finger. Then, when food all gone, she leave. Ronald Davies II - Parking Attendant at N. Vancouver Hospital: I told ‘em they ken't back their truck up, said it were blocking the Ambulance Zone. They din't care, they din't listen. Said it were an ‘mergency. One guy, the guy running the whole thing, offered me money to turn the other way. They just kept backing up. Mrs. Jones: What's that, dear? Oh yes, all the nurses and doctors went running to the front entrance. They were saying something about a miracle… or was it monster? Carlos Juan: One hour it take. One hour she eat all food. Drive other customer away. Her husband order her 12-thousand pizza, they start ordering food from other restaurant to eat in mine. Fat bitch eat ALL of it. Leave nothing for husband. Christopher Yanover - Nurse: All I know is, gluttony is a sin. Dr. Lawrence: People were gathering to see, security trying to stop them blocking the entrance. I made my way to the front of the crowd. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Tucker: Seriously. Bro. Fucked. Mrs. Jones: I'm 85-years-old and I've never seen anything quite like that. Ronald Davies II: The size’a her, when they got her outta back'a the truck. They was pushing people out of the way. People with IVs, people on crutches, in wheelchairs. One old bag missing a leg. They just knocked her down as they brought this giant pink thing out. Dr. Lawrence: The woman was huge. Hyper-obese. My medical mind told me such a person couldn't exist. Right there I estimated her weighed to be at least 10,000lbs. Her stomach composed almost the entirety of her form, they barely got it through the door. Tucker: Her gut was like 10 feet tall and like 20 feet long. I dunno, I was tripping. She couldn’t have been that fat.
Christopher Yanover: Sloth is a sin, too. Someone better tell that woman to go with Christ or she's going to burn in Hell for eternity.
Dr. Lawrence: Her breasts alone were enormous. From their hiding place behind the stomach (I could only see so much of her) they stretched out by at least 5 foot each and were as round and large as zorb balls. Bigger! Resting heavily but comfortably on the multi-mattress sized banks she had for hips. She was easily 30 feet across. Christopher Yanover: And greed. Mrs. Jones: The helpful young man sitting next to me said it was a person. Tucker: Yeah, you could tell she was pretty much a human, from my end at least. Ummm… I think she had shoulder length hair, really dark with some silver, all covered in food like a messy baby. My memory’s not great. Her face was all chubby like her cheeks were full and her shoulder fat came up to her ears. Sort of like football armor. She had like… 6 jowls, bro. She looked like a chick version of Jabba the Hutt, but fatter. Way fatter. Like… 10 Jabba the Hutts or something. Dr. Lawrence: Once they brought her further into the Pinguis wing I could better appreciate her. Her arms were vast, like tractor tires at the shoulders, but telescoping downwards in segments to form flaccid pink trunks, overlapping and slapping and gesticulating, hiding her hands from view. Her hips sloped down from her high arching stomach like mud banks, pillow sized shelves of pannus crested over each other respectively and undulated wildly with even the slightest movement of the woman. Her stomach was the dominating feature of her, burying her legs and making the rest of her enormous body look like nothing more than a tiny marshmallow woman in comparison. Eric Henkirk - Teenage appendix patient: They brought her past my room. It was lit! My friends don't know I lowkey love fat chicks but I thought she was so hot. My phone came in clutch, I took like 50 pictures. I had an awesome view of her the whole time, I actually jerked off right there in the bed under the sheet, right in front of my mom who was too busy watching the cougar in shock. It was lit. Dr. Lawrence: Things started making more sense when I saw who was escorting this woman. Mrs. Jones: The poor dear, just because she's overweight doesn't mean people should make fun of her. My niece's daughter is quite the little porker too. Eric: No cap I know its extra but I want to just climb up on her huge gut and stick my dick between her tits. Her boobs were just covered in like spaghetti sauce and melted cheese and shredded bits of food. That just made it waaaay hotter. There was even a whole pizza on one of her nips. She was wig. Her skin was pale pink and smooth and creamy like oatmeal. Her ass was like as wide as a freight truck, I just wanted to crawl under there and suck on it and jerk off on it. This is definitely anonymous, right? Tucker: We always wondered why they built that new wing with so much lobby space. Dr. Lawrence: It was her husband. The man who had sponsored this new wing to be built 2 years ago. Ronald Davies II: I remember when they got that huge donation to improve the hospital, about 20-million or so. Dr. Lawrence: When he gave us the money it was on the condition we built it to some very specific measurements. We didn't press it. John Bachelor - Visitor: I've heard of the Elephant man, but never the elephant woman. That bitch is FAT! Mrs. Jones: You mustn't judge people just because of their weight. I'm sure when this young lady is awake she's very sweet and polite. Christopher Yanover: That bitch is definitely going t'hell. John Bachelor: That chick’s so fat her shadow is on a diet! Dr. Lawrence: He told us she’d grown a bit since giving us the building stipulations, but she still managed to fit. He said we needed to take her to the opera house sized Emergency Department. Apparently she'd finished a "modest" pizza buffet run and they were on their way to visit numerous food storage warehouses when she stopped responding. No breathing, no vital signs. Tucker: She’s not that big. She can’t be. I was doing shrooms the night before, maybe I was still feeling it. Dr. Lawrence: They'd called out paramedics but it had taken them 2 hours to get her back on the truck and here to the hospital. We finally found some vital signs and we can confirm that, yes, she is very much alive. Any other information is confidential I'm afraid. John Bachelor: She's so fat planet Earth lives on her! Officer Brown - Vancouver Police: If you continue to film I will have to arrest you. This parking is for hospital visitors only, I am asking you to please move along. Christopher Yanover: Yeah I was there when she woke up. First thing we know her gut starts rumbling, sounds like a train was coming. Then drool starts pouring from her mouth like you wouldn't believe.
Officer Brown: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize who you were with. Please, carry on. Tucker: Before her eyes even opened, bro, her lips were moving and she was smacking her chops. She started moaning out to be fed and crying and screaming about how she was starving. That dude, her husband, he sent his guys to go get her food. There was about 50 of them. Dr. Lawrence: Pardon me, but who did you say you were with? Eric: I was jerking it to some of my phone pictures of her when I saw a bunch of men going in the gift shop and buying tonnes of candy. She’s still here and sometime I lowkey sneak to her ward to check her out and take pictures. I try not to be sus. John Bachelor: That chick’s so fat her web-cam is Google Earth. Tucker: I dunno, not much else has happened since. Apparently the only way to get her out of the hospital is to keep feeding her until she falls asleep. One of the BIO guys I smoke with said they had a hazard spill in her ward and when he got there it was just a bunch of shit, and it happens like 10 times a day. John Bachelor: She's so fat they take her blood samples with a JCB! Eric: The whole hospital smells like her asshole, it's dope. I can barely keep my boner down! Christopher Yanover: Oh, and don't ask that Eric kid anything, he's on pain killers so he'll say whatever's on his mind without realizing. John Bachelor: She's so fat that when she drops a log someone has to yell "timber!" Tucker: Oooooohh I guess that’s why he also gave the hospital 50-million bucks to redo the cafeteria. Fernando Huez - Reporter for CSBC NEWS (live to air): Thanks, June, as you can see behind me media outlets from all over the world have converged on this North Vancouver hospital in the hopes of interviewing the patient now being referred to as 'the biggest woman in the world.' Amanda Carter - Spectator: I heard about her, everyone heard about her. I just want to see her. Beverly Mendel - Spectator: I saw her on YouTube. Everyone's talking about her on Twitter, TikTok, FaceBook, the news, everywhere, everyone wants to see her. Thomas Hutchins - Spectator: Of course it's a hoax. It has to be. People can't get that big. My grandpa died of diabetes when he was 63, you can't get that big and not die. Fernando Huez: So far no one's been allowed inside the hospital, reportedly because task is underway to move the woman back home. Amanda Carter: I've always been overweight myself, but if this is true then compared to this girl I'll look like Kate Moss.
Joss Waines - Equality Commission Executive: Of course we’re excited about this news and we’ll be on hand to offer this lady all the support she needs.
Fernando Huez: Food is being shipped in to the hospital in incredible quantities. Reports are coming out of the hospital that they've shut off one whole wing just to accommodate the woman who's name we're now being told is Tam-- Thomas Hutchins: Viral marketing. That's what I'd say. Some sickos are making some sicko gore movie and this is some viral marketing campaign. White male #1 (British) - bystander: Oh, no reason…. we just heard there was something going on. Thought we'd see what all the fuss was about. White male # 2 (British) - bystander: Yes, we're not investigating anything. White male #1: Oh for fu-- White male #2: My name? Umm... John… Johnson. John Johnson. Yes that's my real name. Hey, stop recording this! White male #1: Jesus Chri-- That's it! We're leaving.
Dr. Lawrence: How do you know that? Of course we weighed her but the results have been kept confidential, at least they were supposed to be.
Fernando Huez: According to sources inside the hospital, this woman weighs in the region of 12,600lbs.
Beverly Mendel: Because I work super hard to keep my body in good shape. I look good and I feel good. Now if it suddenly turns out that like 300lbs isn't even fat because this blob-woman is 10,000lbs then all my hard work is ruined.
Amanda Carter: I hope it’s true, I don’t want to be overweight anymore. Sorry, you’re not allowed to say overweight, right? What’s the word? Shape-positive.
Dr. Lawrence: I'm sorry, but I have to oversee her discharge. Thank you.
Christopher Yanover: Anyway, I got a page. They're finally moving the godless fat bitch out so if you want to see her this is your chance.
Fernando Huez: And, yes, I can confirm that this is NOT a hoax of any sort. It's official, this woman has gained weight to an inhuman size. Who knows how many women similar to her exist in the world, but one thing's for sure, the revelation of this woman's size to such international exposure will surely reconstitute what is and isn't 'fat.' Perhaps obesity will be redefined, by comparison 800lbs is tiny. I think we're about to see the start of a brave new world.
Tucker: Seriously. Fucked.
Fernando Huez: Back to you in the studio.