https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h10m29s
Idk why I sat through this fucking 30 minute rant of vagaries, but here it is for anyone who gives a fuck.
TL;DR upfront
> Small stuff hinted at : Seething about his old followers not following him,
> Hinted about "negativity seeping in" before he even got his feet steady as a VTuber.
> Whatever happened while he was with the homos was "fucked up" (according to him).

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h10m29s
Conversation started because of the talk about him getting a VTuber model soon,how much it cost compared to others, and making a new channel for it.
> I know of models that have cost more, I'll just say that.
> "Like a change of departments?" - chat. Yeah.
> And yeah I'll let you guys know. Trust me, of course I'll let you guys know, are you kidding?
> Dude, otherwise I'll be streaming to fucking 25 people are you fucking, yeah.
> Listen, I'm not delusional. For me it's a creative endeavor. I hope to make money ofc but like..
> I'm not delusional, I'm not gonna just make an anonymous VTuber account and debu- if I do that I'll be streaming to 15 people.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h11m40s
> "We'll have our best agents follow you even if you went rogue" - chat
> Hmm... maybe.. maybe huh.
> *comments referencing Magni's model start showing up*
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h13m15s
> You know me, I'm a dramatic guy.
> I've said things here and there, but nothing substantial can ever be said really.
> This is as substantial as you can get honestly.
> And it's for the benefit of everyone involved.
> But basically, I have baggage bro. Keeps me up at night, honestly.
> My life has been really good, but the only negativity in my life comes from my baggage, with VTubing.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h14m26s
> For me, my choice was like "you know what, then fuck it Imma do my own thing, I'll show you. I don't need any of that."
> But that's not my true answer deep down.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h17m22s
> When I stream on Youtube, it's like an escape.
> They don't know anything about VTubing this and that, it was a means of escape for me.
> There was so much negativity and baggage for me, but when I go there, they love Professor Lando.
> It's freeing in a way, but it also feels like running way.
> It's not a clean cut. It was never gonna be a clean cut obviously.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h19m35s
> There is one source of negativity in my life still, and its related to VTubing.
> The only thing that makes me sad, the only thing that makes me cry is related to romantic relationships.
> I'm not a sad person, I'm an angry person.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h21m32s
> I feel like everyone's already chalked me up on the blackboard.
> I feel like I didn't even get to try, if I'm being honest.
> I feel like I wasn't even given a fighting start, a chance to really try it.
> Before I even got off the ground, negativity was already seeping into it.
> And I never got to have fun with it. I was a fan of VTubers right?
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h22m52s
> I thought that doing what I thought would be best would look the best for others.
> At my own happiness or situation to sacrifice myself because I think other people will give me the benefit of the doubt.
> I thought that people will give me the benefit of the doubt, because I'm going to take a sacrifice here *points to heart*
> Take an unspoken hit *continues pointing to heart* internally for me, and put up with X,Y and Z, and people will appreciated that I sacrificed that.
> You can't be doing that, that has not worked out for me, catastrophically so.
> There's a million things I'd like to say, but I can't, and never will.
> It's for everyone's benefit. I've just always avoided even lightly touching on it, coz again, I was like "people will give me the benefit of the doubt right?"
> Well, that's not true.
> Doki's calling them "dragoons" and I'm like "holy shit". What the fuck was I fucking doing? She's just calling them dragoons. What the fuck am I even doing?
> But I obviously can't venture anywhere near that.
> I've seen you guys talk about it, and you guys don't know. You'll never know.
> So don't assume you know anything. It eats me up inside.
> I'm more dramatic than Randon is. He's a soldier. He doesn't complain like I do. As much as I know he'd love to as well.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h27m52s
> Last year, it's kinda fucked.
> *goes on a chuuni rant about darkness in him and how he punches things until his gloves are torn to vent that anger*
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h30m16s
> It could've been very easy for me to say "fuck this".
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2074897329?t=2h33m8s
> What happened was fucked up, and you know maybe it's okay because fucked up things happened in my life.
> I don't need to like "memoryhole" it or "get over it" per se.
> For me, it was a really fucked up thing I think it's fair to say "hey, maybe I'm right to be a little fucking angry about what happened".
***