PURRFECT GANG

THE MYSTERIES OF MAX 94

NIC SAINT

PURRFECT GANG

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Rats!

It wasn’t really my day. First Uncle Alec disappeared, sending a series of disturbing messages to his wife that he wanted out of their marriage and wanted to quit his job, and then Gran and Scarlett also disappeared. Meanwhile Odelia was hot on the trail of a man she suspected had killed his wife and stuffed her body in the trunk of his car. And then he disappeared as well! Suffice it to say we were faced with a pretty mysterious mystery, one that we couldn’t solve all by ourselves. Lucky for us we had the assistance of a very cute puppy, and an army of mean-spirited… rats!

CHAPTER 1

Terence Hill slipped the curtain aside and cautiously glanced out through the window. So far, so good. He’d half thought that they’d be out in force, hunting him down like that poor Doctor Kimble, as played by Harrison Ford. But as far as he could tell, there was no one out there, threatening to break down his door, point the business end of a powerful handgun in his face, and drag him out to a waiting van.

He glanced left and right, and when he was sure that the coast was clear, quickly slipped on his loafers, picked up his suitcase from the couch, and cast a final look around the living room of the house where he had spent the best part of his life. He’d miss the place, there was no doubt about it. But since he cherished being alive more than being comfortable, he had no other choice but to leave his old life behind.

Pup, the puppy Darlene had purchased only a couple of weeks ago, barked once and looked up at him with questioning eyes, as if to say: ‘What’s going on? What are you up to?’

He kneeled down, picked the pup up into his arms, and tucked him inside his coat, where only his cute, tiny head poked out.

“We’re going on a long journey, little buddy,” he said softly. “And at the end of that journey, nothing but rainbows and roses will be waiting for us—just you wait and see.”

The pup gave a soft mewling sound in approval, and he smiled.

Time to head out.

Suitcase in hand, he stepped out of the house, carefully scanning his surroundings one last time. Better to be safe than sorry, as his mom used to say. When he was convinced that no one was hiding in the bushes, intent on jumping him, he quickly set foot for the car, loaded Pup into the passenger seat, and crawled in behind the wheel. Moments later, he was en route to a destination—or destinations—unknown. A place where no one would find him.

Unbeknownst to him, though, unseen eyes and ears had indeed been keeping tabs on him, as evidenced by the dinged-up old pickup truck that pulled out from a row of parked vehicles and now tailed him from a safe distance, making sure not to let him out of its sight.

The person behind the wheel should have been familiar to him, for it was none other than well-known local reporter Odelia Kingsley. The very same reporter he’d sat down with only yesterday. Behind her, four cats sat transfixed as she engaged in this most peculiar mission: tailing a man who’d come to her for some urgent assistance. But instead of doing what he had asked her to do, namely finding his wife, she was keeping a close eye on him.

In other words: she was off the reservation. Going rogue. And dragging her cat troupe along with her. The fact that they didn’t look all that happy should have told her all she needed to know about the advisability of her endeavor. But as things stood, she didn’t care.

She was going to see this mission through, whatever the cost.

CHAPTER 2

“Idon’t like this, Max,” said Dooley.

I wasn’t all that sure if I liked it myself, but what can a pet do when their human decides to go off the rails? Not a whole lot!

“Maybe we should reason with her,” Brutus suggested. “You know, try to make her see the light?”

“And what good would that do?” said Harriet. “You know as well as I do that humans are a stubborn species. They’ll do what they do, and no power on earth can make them change their minds. And most definitely not a couple of utterly powerless pets like the four of us.”

“We’re not that powerless,” Brutus argued. “We could…” He thought for a moment, but in the end had to admit defeat. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. There’s not a whole lot we can do.”

“We could go on a hunger strike,” Dooley said. “You know, like they do on the news? Activists who stop eating until all of their demands are met? We could do the same thing. Stop eating until Odelia stops following this man around for no good reason at all?”

“I can hear you guys, you know,” said Odelia. “Every word of it, in fact. And please don’t go on a hunger strike. I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

We shared a look. I wasn’t all that convinced that this was true, and I could tell that my friends shared this conviction.

“So… what is it that you’re doing, exactly?” Harriet finally voiced the question that had been at the forefront of our minds. “I mean, if you don’t mind sharing?”

“This man did a terrible thing,” she said as she gripped her steering wheel a little tighter. “I know he did. And I’ll catch him if it’s the last thing I do and make him pay for his crime.”

“So what did he do, exactly?” asked Brutus carefully. We all know what Odelia gets like when she’s got a bee in her bonnet the way she had now.

“I’m pretty sure he murdered his wife,” she said. “And that he stuffed her body in the trunk of his car.”

“In… that car?” asked Brutus, just to be sure.

“Yes, in that car,” Odelia confirmed. “The car he’s driving right now.”

I swallowed away a lump that had formed in my throat. Clearly, our human had fallen prey to one of those maladies that often afflicts her particular species: she had lost the plot.

It had all started not more than twenty-four hours ago, in her own office, to be precise. This man, whose name was Terence Hill, had dropped by the Gazette offices to enlist Odelia in a quest. In other words, he had decided he needed her very particular set of skills to solve a problem for him. The problem consisted of a wife who had removed herself from the equation a couple of days ago, and who he wanted found. If Odelia found it a little peculiar that a man would lose track of his own wife, she didn’t give voice to this sentiment. Instead, she asked him a couple of questions about the woman and sent Terence Hill on his merry way.

It was only after he left that she turned to us and said, a twinkle in her eye, that she knew Terence. Even though he probably didn’t remember her, she had once interviewed him for the paper, back when he was a well-known and quite successful tennis pro, and had been in town to play a tournament. She had been sent out by Dan to snag an interview with the famous tennis player, and even though he clearly didn’t remember her—one meets so many journos on the tennis circuit—she remembered him. Back then he wasn’t married, but he had a girlfriend, who would later become his wife, and apparently, at some point, disappeared.

“Okay, so what if his wife disappeared?” I had argued. “He should go to the police. I mean, it’s not as if you’re a private detective, Odelia. You’re a reporter, and an occasional civilian consultant for your uncle. Finding people that go missing is not your job.”

“I know,” she had said, still with that unmistakable twinkle in her eye. “But I met his wife as well. And she always struck me as a very sane and sensible woman. No way she would simply go missing the way he described it. In other words: if she’s gone, she had good reason to, either because he was being abusive or because…”

We all stared at her.

“You don’t think… he made her disappear?” asked Dooley.

Odelia nodded. “That’s exactly what I think.”

“But… if he got rid of her, why would he ask you to find her for him?” asked Harriet. “That doesn’t make any sense. Does it?” she added, giving me a look of uncertainty.

“It might make sense,” I said. “If he wanted to supply himself with an alibi. You know, make himself look like the concerned husband, even when he knows perfectly well what happened to her.”

Odelia had pointed at me. “What Max said.”

“So… what are you going to do now?” asked Brutus.

“I’m going to find his wife for him, all right,” she said. “And I’m going to prove that there was foul play involved, and that he’s responsible.” She hit the palm of her hand with her fist. “That’s what I’m going to do. And he’s going to rue the day he hurt his wife and hired me.”

And that’s how we ended up in the backseat of Odelia’s truck while she followed this former tennis pro around.

“All this because of a hunch,” Dooley whispered. “I mean, Odelia’s hunches are second to none, but even so. Maybe she should have asked her husband to find this woman instead of going off on some wild-goose chase?”

“Good one, Dooley,” said Brutus appreciatively. “Wild-goose chase? Chase? As in my human Chase?” Dooley stared at our friend, not comprehending. Finally, Brutus decided to drop it and lowered his voice to a whisper, just like Dooley. “I think we need to save Odelia from herself. So who’s with me?”

“Who’s with you on what, Brutus?” asked Dooley.

“Well, on making sure that she doesn’t do anything stupid, of course. Like hound a man suffering the loss of his wife.”

“I take it you don’t believe Odelia’s take on things?” asked Harriet. “That Terence Hill is a murderer and stuffed his wife’s body in the trunk of his car?”

“I mean, look at the guy,” said Brutus. “He’s got that nice little puppy and all. No way that man is a killer. Plus, he plays tennis, and we all know that tennis players are some of the nicest people on the planet. Just look at Marge and Tex.”

He was right. Odelia’s parents played tennis, and they were very nice. Still, I had a feeling there was a flaw in his argument. If two tennis players are nice, does that infer that all tennis players are nice? Something to think about.

“I can still hear you,” said Odelia. “And if he’s so innocent, why is he making a run for it?”

“You don’t know that,” said Brutus. “He could just be on his way to the grocery store.”

“Then why did he pack a suitcase?” she said, and she got us there. Most people don’t pack a suitcase when they go grocery shopping.

“Maybe he needs a lot of groceries?” Dooley suggested. “So much he needs a suitcase?”

“Or he could be going on a vacation,” said Brutus. “Like an innocent trip to take his mind off the fact that his wife has gone missing?”

But Odelia wasn’t having any of it. She shook her head decidedly. “Terence Hill is a murderer. I don’t know why he killed her, but he did, and now he’s running from the law.”

At least there was no question that Darlene Hill had, in fact, disappeared. It had only taken one phone call to Chase to ascertain the basic premise of Terence Hill’s story. Darlene Hill had been reported missing one week ago by her husband. One evening, they had gone to bed together, like any loving couple does, after binge-watching some crime show on Netflix, and the next morning, when Terence woke up, Darlene was no longer there. What he did discover, after investigating the matter a little further, were several droplets of blood on her side of the bed. Droplets of blood that, by all rights, had no reason to be there.

The only conclusion was that she had been taken in the night—someone had snatched her from the marital bed under the cover of darkness. But when he went to the police to report her missing, he received the cold shoulder treatment. They refused to see things his way and asked him a lot of questions about a possible row he might have had with his wife, whereupon she decided to leave home to go and stay with a relative or a friend without taking the trouble of informing her husband. When he pointed out there was blood on the sheet, that hadn’t impressed them in the slightest, and in the end, they told him to take a hike.

Or at least that’s the story that Terence had told Odelia.

When she asked Chase about it, the reality was slightly different. The part about Terence dropping by the station to report his wife missing was true. But from then on, the accounts varied widely. Chase himself had interviewed the man and said that he had behaved shiftily and couldn’t answer simple questions about his wife. When prompted, he had admitted that the couple had had a fight the night before—about some trivial matter, according to Terence—and that he had slept on the couch. Instead of checking on his wife in the morning, he had simply left for work and had only discovered her missing when he returned home that evening and she wasn’t there. He had to admit there was a good chance that she had simply left home because of the fight and didn’t feel the need to inform him of her whereabouts.

A week later, Darlene Hill still hadn’t given a sign of life. But he had refrained from informing the police—in his words, because they were useless and refused to believe him.

It all sounded very suspicious, I had to admit, but that still didn’t mean that Odelia had to go chasing after this guy as if he was the sole suspect in his wife’s disappearance—if she had disappeared at all. Chase might very well be right, and Darlene Hill might be holed up with a friend, unwilling to get in touch with her husband out of sheer spite.

“I think you should let Chase handle this, Odelia,” I said, therefore. “He can find Darlene and ask her what’s going on. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

“The only explanation is that he killed her,” said Odelia stubbornly.

“But why?” I asked. “There’s no reason to suggest that he did.”

She glanced in her rear-view mirror and locked eyes with me. “Like I said, I have a hunch about this guy.” She shrugged. “And also, I spoke to his neighbor Bud Spencer, and he claims that he saw Terence tuck a body in his car the night he says his wife went missing.”

CHAPTER 3

Grover Hopegood checked his mailbox and discovered to his surprise that a letter had arrived. He picked up the letter and studied it for a moment. It was so very rare that he got mail that, at first, he figured Bambi Wiggins, their trusty USPS mailwoman, had made a mistake and confused him with his next-door neighbor, Dick Bernstein, who was infinitely more popular than he was. But the name Grover Hopegood was clearly written on the envelope, so there could be no mistake. No sender’s address, though, which made it all the more puzzling and, if he was absolutely honest with himself, a little disconcerting.

As he walked back to the house, he ripped open the envelope with his index finger and discovered that a single sheet of paper had been placed inside. He took it out and unfolded it. Quickly scanning its contents, a cold chill ran up his spine.

‘Your wife is cheating on you with your next-door neighbor. Yours truly—a well-wisher.’

Just then, his wife Joann appeared at the door, holding two mugs of tea. “Made you a cuppa, honey,” she said, as she held out one of the cups for his inspection.

He quickly shoved the letter into his pants pocket and gratefully took the mug from her hand.

“It’s that new flavor I picked up in town the other day,” she said. “Ginger and chamomile with a hint of lemon. It’s supposed to be good for settling an achy tummy.”

“Thanks, honey,” he said. He’d been suffering from a sore stomach for days now, and Joann’s concern was touching. She had urged him to go and see Doctor Poole, but so far, he’d held off on that. He knew what Tex would say: stop eating foods that irritate your stomach and take it easy. Even though he was retired now, after a long career as a long-haul trucker, from time to time the ulcer he had developed back then, mainly from lack of sleep and bad eating habits, reared its ugly head again. Nothing some ginger tea couldn’t handle.

“Any mail?” she asked.

He shook his head and took a sip from his cup of tea. “Nope. Nothing.”

“Strange. I thought I saw you take a letter from the mailbox.”

“No letter,” he said staunchly. “Nothing at all.”

“So what’s this, then?” she asked, and expertly slipped the letter from her husband’s pocket and held it out of reach. She quickly read the contents and frowned. “What’s this nonsense?”

“Probably some kook,” he said.

“Me! Having an affair with Dick! As if!”

He shrugged. “Like I said, must be some kook.”

She glanced at the house across the street, a dark expression on her face. “It’s probably that witch Sandra Jensson again. Always causing trouble, the nosy woman.” And before he could stop her, she was already marching across the street!

“Joann!” he called after her. “Just let it go. Joann!”

But knowing his wife, the last thing she would do was let this go. She and Sandra had never gotten along, ever since they had moved in all those many years ago. Most of the neighbors had welcomed the Hopegoods with open arms and had even thrown a block party in their honor. The only one who hadn’t bothered was Sandra Jensson, a widow and the person who had lived there the longest. Even Dick Bernstein, a man who got along with just about anyone, wasn’t a big fan of Sandra, accusing her of being an annoying busybody.

Grover sighed and hurried after his wife, who was already banging on Sandra’s door with her fist. “I know you’re in there, Sandra!” she yelled as she checked the window. “Don’t think I didn’t see you spying on us!”

But even if Sandra was home, she wasn’t answering the door. And if Grover was absolutely honest, he figured he wouldn’t open the door to Joann either—not when she was in this state.

“We don’t know it’s her that sent the letter,” he pointed out. “For one thing, it has a stamp.”

“So?”

“So why would Sandra put a stamp on the envelope when all she has to do is cross the street and deposit the letter in our mailbox?”

“If she did, we’d know without a doubt that she was the one that wrote the letter,” Joann argued. “But she’s much smarter than that. Instead, she stuck a stamp on it, making us think that it was someone else. But I know it was you!” she finished, raising her voice again.

“Maybe we should leave,” Grover suggested. The last thing he needed was to get into some kind of altercation with their neighbor. But Joann obviously thought differently, for she was already stomping around the house, en route to the backyard.

“Joann!” he said. “Just leave it!”

“I’m not going to leave it!” she said as he trailed after her. They had arrived at the back of the house, but if Joann thought they’d find their neighbor there, she was in for a disappointment: the backyard was devoid of anyone answering Sandra’s description.

But Joann wasn’t giving up. Instead, she tried the door handle of the kitchen door. And when that proved reluctant to yield to any pressure on her part, she glanced in through the large picture window, placing her hands to the sides of her face to have a better chance of locating their neighbor.

Just then, a voice attracted their attention. It was coming from Sandra’s next-door neighbor, Bud Spencer. A large man dressed in a white wife beater, with dark hair standing out in tufts on his arms, back and chest, he seemed amused by the Hopegoods’ attempts to track down their neighbor.

“Looking for Sandra?” he asked, a grin revealing his amusement. “Well, she’s not here. Left early this morning,” he added, proving once and for all that every person on this block took an inordinate interest in what their neighbors were up to. “Took the car and left.”

“Oh,” said Joann, finally accepting that her mission was a bust. She approached Bud, who was leaning his thick arms on the fence. “You’ve known Sandra a long time, haven’t you, Bud?”

He nodded. “I was her first neighbor, back in the day. Why?”

“Would you recognize her handwriting?”

“Not sure,” he said. He looked surprised when she handed him the letter. “What’s this?”

“A letter that arrived just now. Is this Sandra’s handwriting, you think?”

He frowned as he read, “‘Your wife is cheating on you with your next-door neighbor.’” He grinned as he looked up at Grover. “Looks like someone has been spying on you guys.”

“I’m sure it’s just a pack of lies,” said Grover, his cheeks coloring. The last thing he needed was for the entire neighborhood to chime in on what the letter was trying to convey.

“So is this Sandra’s handwriting, yes or no?” asked Joann.

“I’m not sure,” said Bud as he focused back on the letter. “I mean, I’ve seen stuff she wrote over the years, but…” Then he snapped his fingers. “Hang on. I think I kept some of her notes. Let me get them for you.”

“Notes?” asked Joann. “What notes?”

“When Flicka and I take a vacation, we ask Sandra to water the plants. And then when we get back, there are all these notes scattered around the place. Messages, you know, about the various things she feels she needs to report to us. About the state of the house, mostly. Repairs she figures we should make.” He grinned. “She’s a real busybody, that one.”

He hurried inside the house, and Grover and Joann shared a look.

“Do you think it was wise to let Bud read the letter?” he asked.

“Why not? I didn’t do anything wrong.” She then stared at him—astonishment clear in her eyes. “You don’t actually think she’s right, do you? About me having an affair with Dick?”

“No, of course not,” he said. Though it was true that once upon a time Dick had behaved in a flirty way towards Joann. Joann made it clear she wasn’t interested, Grover added his voice to the choir and told Dick to cease and desist, and that was that. At least as far as he knew.

But now with this letter…

Bud returned, waving a handful of notes, his wife Flicka hot on his heels. Pretty soon the entire neighborhood would be out there, poking their noses where they didn’t belong.

“Let’s compare,” said Bud as he held up one of the notes that Sandra had placed in his house.

“Sandra is such a busybody,” said Flicka. “If she ever tried something like that with me, I’d…” She balled her fists. “Well, I don’t know what I’d do, but that would be the last time she pulled a nasty stunt like that. Stirring up trouble.”

She was a smallish woman with bright red hair and a fiery disposition. Being married to Bud, she needed to be.

“Looks like it’s her handwriting,” Bud determined as he compared the note to the letter. “What do you guys think?”

Grover checked the handwriting on both missives, but had to admit he had absolutely no clue. “I mean, I’m not an expert,” he finally admitted.

“It looks the same,” said Flicka. “Though it could be different.”

“Yeah, it could be a different person wrote this,” said Bud, and sounded disappointed.

“Doesn’t matter,” said Joann. “She probably changed her handwriting. People do that, don’t they, to avoid detection? I’ll bet that’s what’s going on here.”

“Hey! What are you doing in my backyard!” suddenly a voice yelled behind them. When Grover turned, he found himself face to face with none other than Sandra herself. She must have just returned from her trip. “I don’t remember inviting you to a party!”

In response, Joann practically shoved the letter into their neighbor’s face. “You wrote this, didn’t you? Admit it!”

Sandra, a chunky woman in her late fifties or early sixties, frowned as she grabbed the letter from Joann’s hand. “What’s all this nonsense about a letter?”

“Read it!” said Joann.

“I don’t take orders from you!” said Sandra. “And besides, I can’t read this fine print without my reading glasses. Now where did I put them? I keep losing track of those darn⁠—”

“On top of your head, Sandra,” Flicka said helpfully.

“Oh, right,” said Sandra as she lowered the spectacles to her eyes. “Where they usually are. Now let me take a look at this letter of yours. ‘Your wife is cheating on you with your next-door neighbor. Yours truly—a well-wisher.’” Her frown deepened. “Well, I didn’t write this. Why would I?”

“Because you’re always sticking your great big beak into our affairs!” Joann snapped.

“That’s a nasty thing to say!” said Sandra, wagging a finger in Joann’s face. “And I could sue you for deformation of my character.”

“I think it’s defamation,” said Bud.

“Whatever. I didn’t write this nonsense.” She raised an eyebrow in Grover’s direction. “Unless it’s true? Is your wife having an affair with your next-door neighbor, Grover?”

“Of course not,” said Grover, though he hated how unconvincing he sounded to his own ears. The thought had occurred to him often over the years. And it wasn’t hard to see why: after all, Joann was twenty years his junior, and back when he was always on the road, she spent most of her time on her own. He often wondered what she was up to when he wasn’t home. And even though she had less opportunity now that he was retired, that didn’t mean the affair had ended.

Maybe they were simply more circumspect these days.

Bud and Flicka also stared at Joann now, as did Sandra.

Suddenly she erupted, “I don’t believe this! You all believe I’m having an affair with Dick Bernstein!”

“Well, no…” said Bud carefully.

“Of course we don’t think you’re having an affair with Dick, Joann,” said Flicka. “And even if you are, that’s nobody’s business but yours, isn’t it?”

“Well, I’m not having an affair,” said Joann. “And if you don’t believe me, just ask Dick. He’ll tell you.”

Both Bud and Flicka quickly demurred. Only Sandra seemed inclined to take Joann up on her offer, but then finally decided it wouldn’t improve her standing in the neighborhood if she went around asking delicate and extremely personal questions to her neighbors.

“Look, I didn’t write this letter,” Sandra said finally as she handed the missive back to Joann and tipped her reading glasses back to the top of her head. “But whoever did must know something. Or else they wouldn’t have written it. You know what they say: where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

“It’s just a load of garbage,” Joann insisted. “And if I ever catch who’s behind this, they’ll rue the day they dumped this in my mailbox!”

With these words, she swept from the scene. And as Grover made to follow, he discovered that his progress was thwarted by Sandra having grabbed hold of his sleeve. She fixed him with a pair of glowing eyes and said emphatically, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks!”

And as he slunk back to his own home across the street, he couldn’t help but suspect there might be some truth to these words.

CHAPTER 4

Flicka watched the retreat of the Hopegoods with a kindling eye. She had never liked Joann Hopegood, and this latest incident had done little to change her mind about the woman.

“She’s such a pain in the patootie,” she said once the Hopegoods were out of earshot. “Always causing trouble.”

“This neighborhood has really gone to the dogs ever since they arrived,” Sandra agreed with her. “I mean, Grover is a great guy, but that wife of his is just so annoying.”

“What do you say, Bud?” asked Flicka. She now noticed how her husband stood staring after the Hopegoods, his tongue dangling from his mouth. Her eyes narrowed. “Bud!”

Her husband practically jumped to attention, like a puppy who’s just been caught sniffing its own behind. “Oh, absolutely,” he quickly said. “An absolute nuisance.”

If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought that Bud was infatuated with that terrible woman, but of course that couldn’t be the case, as Flicka knew that her husband liked redheads, and whatever else Joann was, she was anything but that. So not Bud’s type at all.

“Look, I think it’s time we took measures,” said Sandra now. “I mean, I didn’t want to say this in front of the Hopegoods, but this nonsense has gone on long enough, and so I think it’s time that we put a stop to it.”

“What did you have in mind?” asked Flicka.

“A petition,” said Sandra. “Asking for the Hopegoods to relocate to a different neighborhood. One that is more receptive to their brand of nonsense. Though, to be honest, I don’t see them faring any better someplace else. Women like Joann rub people the wrong way. They simply can’t help themselves. But I say we make a stand and get rid of them.”

“We can’t force them to move,” said Flicka.

“No, we can’t,” Sandra agreed. “But we can make life difficult for them... So difficult, in fact, that they finally decide they’re better off elsewhere.”

“I’m not sure,” said Bud. “Are you sure this is legal?”

“Of course it is!” said Sandra. “We’re all members of the homeowners association. And if we say that we want them out, they’re out—whether they like it or not.”

Sandra had a point, of course. It was true that Joann Hopegood had never gelled with any of them. Too bad for Grover, who wasn’t a bad sort. But if he couldn’t keep his wife under control, he’d simply have to suffer the consequences, along with her.

“Look, we’ll simply create a petition, and see what the other members think,” said Sandra. “And if we’re all in agreement, we’ll tell the Hopegoods the bad news at the next HOA meeting. And if they refuse…” She held up her hands. “Well, I guess it’s open season on the Hopegoods.”

“There’s one problem with that,” Bud pointed out.

“I don’t see any problem,” Sandra said.

“The Hills,” said Bud.

“Oh, right,” said Flicka.

Terence Hill’s wife, Darlene, had left her husband. And since she was the official owner of her home and the person who held the vote in the HOA, her absence might be construed as problematic if they wanted to present a united front.

“I just saw Terence take off,” said Bud. “He put a suitcase in the trunk of his car and drove off. So looks like both the Hills have left Greenleaf.”

“I didn’t notice that,” said Sandra, and looked perturbed. Flicka understood why. As the self-proclaimed leader of the HOA, Sandra prided herself on always knowing everything that happened on their block and liked to keep a close eye on all the goings-on by spying from her window. But since even she couldn’t keep watch twenty-four-seven, she was bound to miss some things sometimes. Though Terence Hill leaving so soon after Darlene was certainly big news. Rumor had it that not everything had been A-okay in the Hill household for some time now. And Marlene from across the road had even told Flicka that Terence was a wife-beater. She’d seen Darlene at the deli only last week, and she was wearing sunglasses and a scarf that Marlene was absolutely convinced covered an extensive range of bruises.

“Okay, we’ll deal with the Hills when the time comes,” said Sandra. “If need be, I’ll go and talk to Darlene myself, and get her signature. As far as Terence goes, we don’t need him.”

“So… are we really doing this?” asked Flicka, thrilled that finally action was being taken against the Hopegoods.

“Absolutely,” said Sandra. “The time has come to act.”

“But… what if the new people that move into the Hopegoods’ house are even worse than they are?” Bud asked.

For a moment, no one spoke, as they all imagined someone even worse than Joann Hopegood. It was hard to believe that such a person could possibly exist, but Bud was right. It could happen. “We’ll just have to make sure that the next family that moves in is vetted properly,” said Sandra.

“But how?” asked Bud. “It’s not as if this is a co-op.”

“It should be,” said Sandra. “That way we would have more control over who moves into the neighborhood.” She thought for a moment, then nodded. “We need to talk to the realtor. Get them on board. Get them to involve us in the decision-making process from the get-go.”

“But isn’t that illegal?” asked Bud.

“Again with the difficult questions!” Sandra cried. “Would you rather have another terrible neighbor terrorizing us for years to come? No? I didn’t think so. I’ll talk to the real estate agent, and make sure they talk to the HOA before they allow the sale to go through. But first,” she added as a keen look stole over her face, “we need to get rid of the Hopegoods.”

CHAPTER 5

Alec Lip checked if his tie was straight and if his shirt was tucked in. He wasn’t used to wearing a suit, and even though Charlene had told him that morning he looked great, he had a sneaking suspicion he probably looked like a fool. And since the last thing he needed was to look foolish when he met with the governor, he had been fretting about his appearance the entire drive up to Hampton Keys, where the governor of the great state of New York was slated to give a speech on her plans for this part of Long Island. It was just a meet and greet, but he still wanted to look his best. It’s not as if you meet the governor every day.

The invitation had come quite out of the blue, and even though he didn’t know exactly why she wanted to see him, he couldn’t say no—that was a given. Even Charlene had told him that it was such a singular honor, and in spite of her connections, hadn’t been able to find out what the governor wanted to see him about either.

“Probably something to do with your career,” she ventured. “Maybe some big anniversary coming up? How long have you been chief of police?”

“Um…”

She had laughed. “That long, huh?”

“Yeah, I’ve been here quite a while,” he admitted. Part of the furniture, as they say. Though he couldn’t imagine that the governor would want to personally extend her congratulations for sticking it out in Hampton Cove as long as he had. At least he’d never heard of any other chief of police ever being granted that particular honor.

“Maybe it’s got something to do with a particular case she read about,” Charlene had said while she patted her husband’s chest. “You know, something that holds a personal significance for her? A person she knew, maybe?”

It didn’t help that his second-in-command had told him Odelia had managed to get another bee in her bonnet and had taken to following Terence Hill around, suspecting the guy of murdering his wife Darlene. There was no reason to suspect Hill of such a crime, so he had told his niece to back off while Chase investigated. Fat lot of good that had done.

His GPS told him that he had arrived at his destination, and indeed he saw that the Park Lane High School was to his left. Nowhere to park on Park Lane, of course, so he started driving around the block until he managed to slip his car in between two large pickups. He sincerely hoped this was a police-loving neighborhood, and its residents wouldn’t take the presence of a police vehicle as a sign that they should appeal to their inner vandal.

He checked his watch and saw that he was right on time. Hurrying in the direction of the school, he wasn’t surprised to see that a sizable contingent of the local police department had set up a perimeter around the school and was checking every person who desired access. He showed them the email that the governor’s office had sent him, and also his badge. After carefully scrutinizing both, and conferring with a third party, they finally let him pass and he made his way to the school, where the governor was scheduled to hold her big speech.

According to Charlene, it was something to do with the future of Long Island and the governor’s role in it. He wasn’t all that interested in politics, and was already resigning himself to an hour of utter tedium when he walked into the school assembly hall. He took a seat at the back, so he could slip out if need be, and watched the seats quickly fill up. On the stage, a lectern had been placed, and as he patiently waited for the governor to arrive, he checked his phone to see if Chase hadn’t sent him any messages. He was in charge now, in his boss’s absence, and no doubt did a great job.

After about ten minutes, the governor walked out on stage, and assumed position behind the lectern, tapped her microphone, and launched into her designated remarks on the future of Long Island. As expected, it was the kind of speech Alec had been subjected to many times over the course of a long career serving many different mayors and governors, and soon he felt his attention waning and his eyes inexorably drooping closed.

As his chin hit his chest, his head bobbed up again, and he rubbed his eyes and stifled a yawn. Next to him, a large lady sat, and as he felt her eyes settle on him, he glanced over.

“Boring, aren’t they, these politicians?” the woman asked.

He smiled as recognition dawned. “Chief Doyle as I live and breathe.”

“It’s good to see you, Alec. You look well.”

“Thanks. So do you.”

There was no denying that Suzette Doyle, chief of police of Hampton Keys, did look well. Since the last time they met she’d lost weight—more than could be said about him, actually.

“So they roped you into attending the governor’s speech as well, did they?” asked Suzette.

“Yeah, I received an invitation from the governor’s office. Apparently, she wants to ask me something or tell me something—not sure what exactly.”

“Is that a fact?” asked Suzette, scrutinizing him with a pair of shrewd eyes. She was no one’s fool, this police chief.

“So looks like I’ll have to sit out this speech first,” he said. “And then find out what it is she wants from me.”

“You know what?” said Suzette. “Considering you’re a guest in my town, why don’t I offer you a cup of coffee? I mean, neither of us is particularly interested in this speech anyway, so we might as well talk shop until the governor is done.”

He hesitated, but then figured it was a much better use of his time to talk to a colleague than to have to sit there and be bored out of his skull. So he nodded. “That sounds great.”

She brightened, clearly as big of a fan of political speeches as he was. “Let me lead the way,” she said as she got up.

And so he followed her out of the assembly hall and into a hallway that presumably led to some kind of canteen. He could do with a nice cup of coffee. And since the speech was scheduled to last one hour, he had plenty of time to make it back in time for his meeting.

“So aren’t you supposed to be out there, coordinating the troops?” he asked as they walked along empty classrooms.

“This is just routine for us,” said Suzette. Unlike him, she was dressed in her police uniform. She was a large woman with an abundance of dark hair that danced as she walked. “They don’t need me to tell them what to do. We went over all of that this morning with the governor’s security people.” She gave him a smile. “Well, you know how it is. You’ve probably hosted the governor in Hampton Cove at one time or another, right?”

“No, can’t say that we have,” said Alec. “Hampton Cove is a small town, and pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.”

“I’ve been there plenty of times,” said Suzette. “So it can’t be that insignificant.”

They had arrived at what he assumed was the school staff canteen, and he was hoping they made a decent brew. As Suzette held the door for him, all of a sudden he felt a painful prick in his buttocks, and when he looked back, caught Suzette retracting a syringe.

“What the…” he managed to say, before the world turned dark and his legs lost the power to support him.

Moments later he was out for the count.

CHAPTER 6

Terence Hill had stopped at a gas station and so had we. You may think there is nothing more boring in the entire world than having to sit and watch a guy put gas in his car, and you would be right. I was starting to wonder how far Odelia planned to go in her pursuit of this fellow. What if he intended to drive all the way to the other side of the country? Or cross the border into Mexico and beyond?

“This job of private detective doesn’t seem particularly interesting, you guys,” said Harriet after we had watched Mr. Hill just stand there and do what needed to be done to make sure he got another couple of hundred miles out of his vehicle.

“No, it most definitely does not,” Brutus concurred.

He too was probably thinking about those creature comforts you start to miss when you’re on the road to a destination or destinations unknown for any length of time: your food bowl, your litter box, and your favorite couch. None of those things were present in Odelia’s car.

“I have some snacks,” she suggested, proving she wasn’t fully indifferent to our plight. She held out a little baggie with Cat Snax, and my tummy growled in happy anticipation.

“One bag of Cat Snax for four cats?” asked Harriet, critical as always. “That isn’t nearly enough, Odelia.”

“Well, it’s all I have,” she said. “So take it or leave it.”

“I’ll take it, thank you very much,” I said as I licked my lips.

And so she started doling out the Cat Snax, making sure we each had a little pile to snack on. It wasn’t the big meal we were looking forward to, but it would tide us over just nicely.

“Shouldn’t you fill up your gas tank too, Odelia?” asked Dooley, proving that while the rest of us had been whining about the food sitch, he had been thinking more strategically and letting his mind solve those practical problems that make all the difference on a long surveillance operation like the one we were engaged in.

Odelia tapped her gauge. “Still pretty full,” she said as she kept a close eye on the man. Terence had finished gassing up and headed into the gas station, possibly to use the bathroom. I had noticed how our human didn’t tailgate the man but made sure there was always a car between us and our quarry. Probably making sure he didn’t spot us and wonder why the same car had been behind him since he left Hampton Cove in the rear-view mirror.

“I wonder where he’s going,” said Brutus as he munched on a few more Cat Snax kernels.

“And I wonder if the body of his wife is in his trunk,” said Odelia.

I gulped a little. “You really think so?” I said in a strangled voice.

“Of course. Why else would he be driving all this way to who knows where? He killed Darlene and hasn’t managed to get rid of her body yet. And so now he’s going to put her in a landfill or dump her in a lake.”

I gulped again. “Maybe we should have brought a weapon. This guy may be dangerous.”

“He doesn’t know that we’re following him,” Odelia said. “And if he does, I’ve got this little fellow handy.” She patted her purse, located on the passenger seat. In it was her pepper spray, which she had shown to us one time.

“But what if he has a gun?” asked Dooley.

“This pepper spray sprays pretty far,” she said. “Even if he tries to shoot us, I hit that little gizmo and the spray will still knock him out, even at twelve feet or more.”

I know that the people who make these things make all these outrageous claims, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. “Are you sure about that?” I asked therefore. “Have you tried it?”

“No, I have not, Max,” she admitted. “But Chase told me this is the best brand of pepper spray that money can buy.”

“Oh, that’s all right then,” I said, satisfied. I may have an inbuilt skeptical streak about claims made by big companies in their promotion materials, but I trust Chase implicitly. He would never make up some bogus claim.

Just then, her phone chimed. She pressed a button and Chase’s voice sounded through the car.

“Hey, babe,” she said.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“At a gas station right outside Hampton Cove,” she said.

“Where is he headed, you think?”

“Right now he’s heading to Hampton Keys, but he just filled up his tank, so this trip isn’t over yet.”

“The reason I called… have you heard from your uncle? I’ve been trying to reach him and he’s not picking up. Or responding to any of my messages.”

“I’ll try him now, shall I?” She ended the connection and quickly brought up her uncle’s number, then hit connect. The call went straight to voicemail. So she phoned Chase. “He doesn’t pick up. Maybe he’s in that meeting with the governor? What time was that?”

“His meeting should have been over by now. He was scheduled to meet her at eleven.”

“It’s only been half an hour, babe. Maybe they’re still talking. Why, what do you need him for?”

“Some complaint has come in about neighbors quarreling, and apparently your grandmother and Scarlett are both involved. And since I know that he likes to be kept in the loop when those two are up to their old tricks, I figured I’d give him the heads-up.”

“I’m sure he’ll call you back as soon as his meeting is over,” said Odelia. “And in the meantime I’ll call Gran and ask her what she’s up to this time.”

“Great. Oh, and babe? Be careful, will you? If this guy really did kill his wife…”

“I’ll be careful,” she promised. “And also, I’ve got the cats with me, so they’ll protect me if he tries any funny business.”

The four of us collectively gulped. Looked like our status had just been upgraded from cat detectives to cat bodyguards!

CHAPTER 7

“You know, I like this idea,” Vesta told Scarlett. “I don’t know why this has never occurred to us before, as it’s such a no-brainer.”

Her best friend and wingwoman was in the passenger seat while she was behind the wheel of her daughter’s little red Peugeot. The two of them were slowly cruising the streets of their neighborhood as members of the local neighborhood watch.

“I mean, why do we always have to do this at night, when every sane person is in bed asleep, right?”

“Absolutely,” said Scarlett, who was applying a fresh layer of lipstick to her lips. She recently had gotten some fillers, and her lips now stuck out like two fat little balloon animals. The clinic had also thrown in some free Botox injections, and Scarlett’s face was so wrinkle-free she looked like an alien. Whereas Vesta never did anything to make herself look younger, Scarlett was fully on board with trying every possible method out there. She had even done that vampire treatment that was so popular with the influencer crowd, where they scratched your face until it bled. Apparently it was supposed to make you look younger.

“We probably won’t be able to catch any criminals, though,” she said. “If there’s one drawback to patrolling during the daytime, it’s that mostly the criminal element likes to use the cover of darkness to get up to all of their nefarious activities. They’ll be lying low now.”

“I’ve heard that more and more crooks are active during the day,” said Scarlett as she checked her ridiculously plump lips in the compact she was holding. “They also have families, you see. Wives and kids that like to see them spend their evenings at home.”

“I guess,” said Vesta, though she wasn’t fully convinced. Then again, like her friend, she wasn’t getting any younger, and she could definitely use her beauty sleep. Being up all night was for kids. She drove on along the streets and discovered that they were on familiar territory. “Isn’t that where Dick lives?” she asked as she pointed to a house across the road.

“Yeah, I think so,” said Scarlett as she peered in the direction indicated. “Maybe we could go and say hi? And use his bathroom while we’re at it?”

Vesta rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you have to go again?”

“Can I help it that my bladder is so tiny?”

At night, they often did their business in the bushes, but now that was out of the question. It wouldn’t be a good look for members of the public to encounter members of their neighborhood watch crouched behind their bushes. They might call the cops on them.

“Okay, let’s see if the man is home,” she said as she rolled the car to a full stop and yanked the handbrake.

As they got out, she noticed that their arrival had attracted quite a lot of attention, as she could see curtains shifting in several of the houses. “Looks like they don’t need a neighborhood watch here,” she remarked.

Scarlett glanced in the direction her friend indicated and smiled. “This is how you avoid crime,” she said.

“By spying on the neighbors?”

“By looking out for one another.”

“That’s one way to describe what’s going on here,” she said. Even though she was probably the nosiest person on her own block, she harbored a particularly strong dislike for nosy parkers.

They had arrived at Dick’s front door, and she pressed her finger to the bell, waiting for their friend to open the door.

“Odd,” she said when nothing stirred.

“Maybe he’s at the senior center?”

“I don’t think so. I talked to Rock yesterday, and he told me Dick hasn’t shown his face there for weeks.”

“Maybe he’s taking a vacation?”

She pressed her finger to the doorbell again, and this time let it linger, while at the same time applying a fist to the door, giving it a couple of good raps. “Dick!” she yelled. “Good people!”

“Maybe we should look around back,” Scarlett suggested. “In case something happened to him.”

Vesta nodded. Even though she couldn’t imagine anything happening to Dick, who had always been a man with the energy of a twenty-year-old, he wasn’t as young as he used to be.

They arrived out back and took their sweet time looking in through the window. “Looks like he got some new furniture in,” said Scarlett after a moment. “I like it.”

“Dick has always had great taste,” Vesta confirmed.

“I don’t see any sign of the man, though.”

“Nah, I don’t see him either,” said Vesta, wondering where their friend could be. She took out her phone and brought up Dick’s number. But as she let it ring, she suddenly thought she heard a phone sounding nearby. She jerked her head up and pricked up her ears, her head moving like that of a little bird as she tried to ascertain where the sound was coming from.

“Over there,” said Scarlett as she pointed to the garden house located at the back of Dick’s admittedly nice backyard.

They both hurried over to the garden house even as the call went to voicemail. “He’s not picking up,” she said.

Oh, dear. She hoped that nothing would have happened. He might not be everyone’s cup of tea and had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way, but he was still a dear old friend.

They arrived at the garden house, and Vesta yanked open the door. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the relative darkness inside, and then she saw it: Dick was lying prone on the floor of his own garden house, his arm draped over a lawnmower.

“Call an ambulance!” she yelled as she kneeled down next to him. She pressed her finger to his neck to feel for a pulse and was relieved when she found one. “Very weak,” she told Scarlett, who had taken out her own phone.

“At least he’s alive,” said her friend as she placed the phone to her ear. Moments later, the call connected. And as Scarlett arranged for the emergency services to send an ambulance to the scene posthaste, Vesta noticed that the fingers she had placed against their friend’s neck were wet and sticky. She held them up and saw that they were smeared with… blood!

“Oh, Christ,” she said. And then she saw there was a little puddle of blood next to Dick’s head. Only now did she notice he had sustained a pretty nasty head wound. And judging from the position he was lying in, it couldn’t have been sustained in the fall.

Looked like Dick had been attacked!

CHAPTER 8

As two paramedics placed Dick on a stretcher and transferred it to the waiting ambulance, Vesta nervously bit her lower lip. “Is he going to be fine?” she asked one of the paramedics.

“Impossible to say,” said the young man. “He seems to have suffered a pretty bad head trauma. We’ll have to take a scan to see how bad it is. Are you related to Mr. Bernstein?”

“He’s a good friend,” she said as she wondered if they shouldn’t ride with him to the hospital and make sure he got the treatment he required. It soon transpired this wasn’t allowed, though, as they weren’t relatives.

She and Scarlett watched the ambulance take off with flashing lights. Dick’s neighbors, attracted by the sound of the siren and the sight of the ambulance arriving, had all stepped out of their houses. She recognized Dick’s next-door neighbors, Grover and Joann Hopegood.

“What happened?” asked Joann.

“I’m not sure,” she said. “We found him in his garden house. Someone must have knocked him out.”

“Someone did this to him?” asked Joann, surprise clear in her voice.

“Good thing we happened to pass by,” said Scarlett. “Who knows when he would have been found.”

More neighbors joined them. All of them looked concerned and shocked that something like this could have happened in their neighborhood. “You didn’t see anyone enter Dick’s house earlier today?” asked Vesta, figuring she might as well get the investigation started. The police would arrive soon, but she was determined to get to the bottom of this herself.

She hadn’t directed her question to one particular person, but when no one spoke up, she focused on a heavyset woman who was glowering at her for some reason.

“Why are you asking me?” asked the woman, in a recalcitrant sort of way.

“It’s just a question,” said Vesta. “Someone must have knocked Dick over the head, and since you’re his neighbors, you’re probably best placed to tell us who is responsible.”

“Well, I didn’t do it, that’s for sure,” said one of the other neighbors, a man who introduced himself as Bud Spencer. “I like Dick. Always have. He’s a great neighbor. Very sociable. Life and soul of the party and a pillar of this community.”

“You hate him,” said the first woman. “You do!” she added when Bud sputtered a denial. “You told me so yourself. How Dick is always flirting with Flicka. And she’s not the only one,” she said as her eyes flicked to Joann Hopegood in a meaningful sort of way.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Flicka cried indignantly.

“That Joann isn’t the only one who succumbed to Dick’s charms,” said the woman, not backing down. She jabbed a finger in the direction of her neighbor. “I saw you, you know.”

Flicka’s jaw dropped. “What are you talking about!”

“I saw you go into Dick’s house many times. And not come out until hours later. Not hard to see what the two of you were up to in there.”

“I did not!” Flicka insisted.

“I’m sure you had your reasons,” said the woman as she drew her jacket closer to her person. “Bud not giving you what you need in the bedroom department. But that’s still no reason to try to kill the man,” she said as she gave Bud a vicious look.

“Me!” Bud cried. “You’re actually accusing me of hitting Dick over the head? Have you lost your mind?”

“You or Grover,” said Sandra. “Could be either one of you. Or it could have been Joann, of course. Felt like Dick had cast her aside to start his little fling with Flicka.”

“I did not have an affair with Dick!” Joann shouted. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“You did, too,” said Sandra. “Or have you forgotten already about the letter?”

“What letter?” asked Vesta.

“A letter arrived this morning,” Sandra explained. “Telling Grover that his wife was having an affair with Dick.” She narrowed her eyes at Flicka now. “The more I think about it, the more likely it seems to me that you sent that letter.”

“You’re crazy,” Flicka scoffed. “Absolutely batshit crazy.”

“You probably wanted Dick all to yourself, and so you decided to end whatever was going on between him and Joann by squealing to her husband so he would put a stop to it. And that’s why you want the Hopegoods out of here.”

“I don’t want them out. You want them out!”

“Wait, what?” asked Grover as he did a double take.

“That’s right. Flicka is conspiring to get you and Joann kicked out of this neighborhood. And now I know why. Because she wants Dick all to herself!”

At this moment, Flicka couldn’t control herself any longer, and slapped her neighbor across the face. “You’re crazy!” she yelled as the resounding slap was delivered with gusto.

But Sandra wasn’t the kind of woman who took an insult like this lying down. Instead, she grabbed the other woman by the hair and started pulling it for all she was worth.

And since a fight never happens in a vacuum, soon the whole group joined in, with people trying to separate both women, though Bud couldn’t resist giving Sandra a slap of his own, possibly for her accusation of him having knocked out Dick. All in all, it was quite the melee, and so when the cops finally arrived, they not only had the mysterious attack on Dick to contend with, but some kind of minor brawl or neighborhood rough and tumble to break up.

And wouldn’t you just know it that they ended up accusing Vesta of having started the whole thing?

CHAPTER 9

Terence Hill, as we watched on, keeping a close eye on the man as we had since we first started following him, was behaving like any person would who goes on a trip: putting gas in his tank, going for a toilet break, and generally looking as innocent as any holiday-goer might. And so I would have been fully content with simply leaving him be and allowing him to go on his merry way, if not for Odelia hissing, “Go talk to that dog. Do it now!”

She was referring to the cute little puppy that accompanied Terence on his trip. The creature had kept out of sight for most of the journey and hadn’t even raised its head to look through the rear window. We had a good view of him now, though, as he had very reluctantly stuck his head through the passenger-side window and was sniffing the air, no doubt wondering what was taking his master so long. Or what that gasoline smell was about.

Odelia left us no choice but to go talk to the creature by unlocking the door and urging us to “Go!”

And so we went. She was probably right: how long does it take to go to the bathroom? Not long, I imagine. And so our window of opportunity was closing, and closing quite fast.

The four of us tripped out of the car and in the direction of our quarry’s car and his dog. To sneak around the car unseen was but the work of a moment, and while Terence Hill was still busy with the task at hand, we took up position underneath the little doggie.

“Hey there,” I said by way of greeting. “My name is Max, and these are my friends Dooley, Harriet, and Brutus.”

“What’s your name, little fella?” asked Harriet in the most gentle tone possible.

“Pup,” said the pup. It didn’t seem like the kind of name that his owners had put a lot of thought into, but then who am I to criticize the ways people name their pets?

“Hi, Pup,” the four of us said in unison.

“How are you doing, Pup?” asked Brutus.

“Well… fine, I guess,” said the puppy, though he didn’t seem entirely predisposed to chatting with us. But so far he hadn’t withdrawn into the interior of the car either, so that was all to the good. “I mean, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but apart from that, everything is okay.”

“I’d say that your human is on a trip,” said Brutus. “Isn’t he?”

“I guess,” said Pup as he glanced over to the gas station shop where his human had disappeared. He turned back to us. “So what are you guys doing here?”

“Oh, our human is also on a trip,” I said. “And so we figured we might as well say hi. Being fellow-pets-with-humans-going-on-a-trip, I mean.”

“That’s very kind of you,” said Pup.

“No brothers or sisters?” asked Harriet.

Pup shook his head. “Nope. I’m all alone. Though I seem to remember that once upon a time I did have brothers and sisters. And even a mom and a dad. But somehow they all fell by the wayside, so to speak, when Darlene adopted me.”

“Oh, so Darlene is your human, is she?” asked Brutus.

“That’s right. Darlene Hill. So I guess that makes me Pup Hill.”

“So… where is Darlene?” I asked, deciding not to waste any more time.

“I have absolutely no idea,” said Pup Hill. “She was with us until a couple of days ago, but then suddenly she wasn’t, if you see what I mean.”

“I’m afraid I don’t,” I admitted. “Where did she go?”

It was the million-dollar question, and I didn’t think I was the only one who held his breath at that moment.

“She left home,” said Pup with a shrug. “Walked out. Just like that. Terence is quite upset about the whole thing, I don’t mind telling you. He even went to the police, but they didn’t seem to believe him. And so he went to talk to some private investigator, but she hasn’t been in touch either. So now it’s just me and Terence.”

“So you have no idea what happened to Darlene?” I asked, just to be on the safe side and because I knew that Odelia would grill us about this conversation later on.

The pup shook his head again. “Nope. No idea whatsoever. It’s all very troubling, as she’s the one who adopted me and also gave me my name. I like Darlene. Terence? Not so much.”

“Rumor has it that… Terence may have done something to Darlene,” said Harriet, deciding to go for broke. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you, Pup?”

Pup frowned at the Persian. “Done something to her? What do you mean ‘done’ something to her? What did he do?”

“Well… maybe hit her over the head and bury her body? Or slash her throat and put her body in the trunk of his car?”

Pup stared at Harriet, looking quite horrified, I have to say. Either he had been taking training at the Actor’s Studio and was a great method actor, or this was the first he’d heard about such a contingency. “You think Terence killed Darlene and stuffed her body in the trunk of his car?”

“It’s a possibility,” said Harriet. “You see this kind of stuff on TV all the time, or read about it in the paper.”

“That’s true,” the puppy admitted with a thoughtful look on his furry little face. “You do read about these things all the time.” But then he seemed to make up his mind. “But not Terence. Terence loves Darlene. I know this because I’ve been living with them all this time. If he hurt her in any way, there would have been signs. Like, they would have argued a lot, or maybe he would have looked at her in a certain way. Homicidal glances when he thought she wasn’t looking, you know. And there was never any of that. On the contrary, every time he looked at Darlene, it was with the light of love in his eyes.”

“Still,” said Brutus, “he may have been planning his move for a long time and acting the loving husband. You know, to throw suspicion off his person and all of that.”

“I guess,” said Pup. “But no. Terence is a good man. He would never murder his wife and manage to hide it from me. You have to remember I’m with them twenty-four-seven, basically. If he had murdered Darlene, I would have noticed. Blood on his clothes. Hiding the murder weapon. Frantic phone calls to his best friend to confess what he did and ask for his advice…”

“Who is Terence’s best friend?” asked Brutus.

“Guy who lives across the street,” said Pup. “Name of Bud Spencer. He and Terence are thick as thieves. If he did kill his wife, he would have told Bud.”

I made a mental note to talk to this Bud Spencer fellow and find out what he knew. Maybe he had helped to bury the body. After all, burying a body is hard work, and isn’t that what friends are for? To help dig a grave for your wife’s body in the backyard?

“Dogs have a great sense of smell, haven’t they?” said Harriet, trying a different tack.

“Yeah, that’s correct,” said Pup, perking up considerably, as most dogs do when they’re about to be paid a compliment. “And my sense of smell is second to none.”

“So isn’t there a way for you to track Darlene and find out where she is right now?”

Pup’s face fell. “I wish. But unfortunately, Terence is very vigilant about keeping a close eye on me. You see, once upon a time he had a dog that was stolen, and so he doesn’t want to risk something like that happening a second time.”

“So he hasn’t allowed you to leave the house and go look for Darlene?” I asked.

“I would have loved to do exactly what you are suggesting. In fact, that was the first idea that entered my mind when Darlene left and didn’t come back. But like I said, I haven’t been in a position where I can do that.”

“So… why don’t you do it now?” Harriet suggested. “I mean, all you have to do is jump down from this window and come with us. Our human is the private investigator that your human hired to find Darlene. And with your assistance, I’m sure that she will succeed.”

Pup stared at her, wide-eyed and with not a small sense of dismay and surprise etched on his features. “You want me to join you in the search for Darlene?”

“Absolutely,” said Harriet, who’s never one to beat about the bush or shy away from suggesting the most outrageous solution to any problem she’s faced with. “All you have to do is put a little faith in us, and we’ll help you find Darlene.”

“But… what about Terence?”

“What about him? You said yourself that Darlene is the one who adopted you, not Terence. She’s the one who gave you that lovely and, might I add, very original name and who’s been a loving presence in your life ever since she brought you home from the kennel.”

“I guess that’s true,” said Pup as he nodded in agreement. “Darlene is my human, not Terence.”

“You miss her,” said Harriet. “And that’s understandable. If my human went missing one day, I’d miss her terribly. So help us help you, Pup. Join us in trying to locate Darlene.”

I would have crossed my fingers and hoped to die, if I’d had fingers. Instead, I twisted my tail just so and hoped that Pup would do as Harriet suggested. It would certainly give us a paw-up in trying to locate Darlene Hill.

Terence had finished his bathroom business and was on his way back to the car. Any moment now, he’d hop in and take off, so there was some time constraint involved in this decision. I could see Pup was struggling. And I understood. After all, he didn’t know that we were who we said we were. For all he knew, we could simply be four cats intent on mischief.

Harriet now pointed in the direction of Odelia’s pickup, parked a little ways away. “Our human is over there,” she said. “If you glance over, you will see her.”

Pup did as he was told, and as he looked over, Odelia, who had stepped out of her car and was leaning against the hood, gave him a little wave.

Pup’s features relaxed. “She looks nice,” he said.

“She is nice,” I assured him. “And she’s also very clever. If she says she’s going to find Darlene, she will find her.”

That decided the little doggie, for he finally said, “Okay, I’ll do it. Anything for Darlene.”

And so he jumped down from the window, landed squarely on the ground, and then trotted after us as we made our way back to Odelia’s pickup.

“You won’t regret this,” Harriet assured him. “It’s the best decision you could have made.”

“Yeah, Odelia will take good care of you,” said Brutus.

Dooley sidled up to me. “Does this mean that Pup is part of our family now, Max?”

“Well, only for the time being,” I said. “Until we find his human, you know.”

“But what if Terence did kill Darlene? And what if he goes to prison for the rest of his life? What will happen to Pup then?”

“Um…”

It was a contingency I hadn’t considered.

Dooley gave me a look of concern. “We can’t return him to the kennel, Max. That wouldn’t be nice. We’d have to adopt him. Which means that from now on, Pup will be part of our family. Indefinitely.”

I gulped. Uh-oh!

CHAPTER 10

Vesta probably should have been used to it by now, but every time she got arrested, it was still a shock. And so, as she and Scarlett rode in the back of a police car, she had to pinch herself.

“Why don’t you call my son?” she suggested to the eager-beaver cops riding in the front of the vehicle. “He’ll tell you to let us go immediately.”

“Vesta’s son is your boss,” Scarlett added for good measure, just in case these two cops were rookies and had no idea who they had just arrested.

But instead, they simply kept quiet and didn’t respond.

“Hey, we’re talking to you,” said Vesta, getting a little worked up now that she was over the first surprise of having handcuffs slapped on her wrists.

But the cops chose to remain silent.

“We didn’t start any fight,” said Scarlett. “That wasn’t us. In fact, we were there to break up that fight. We’re members of the neighborhood watch, you see. That is what we do. We police the neighborhood.”

Still nothing. As if they were suffering from some kind of hearing issue.

“Okay, so I know what this looks like,” she said, moving forward on her seat. “But I can tell you that we had nothing to do with this business of neighbor turning on neighbor. Like Scarlett said, we were trying to get everyone to settle down and treat each other with respect.”

The fact that it hadn’t worked couldn’t very well be put on their doorstep, now could it? These people were extremely worked up, and so when they had started slapping each other, there wasn’t a lot they could do. Save perhaps physically dragging one person from the other, and since she didn’t feel like getting a black eye herself, she had wisely refrained from going down that route.

But it was clear now that the cops weren’t interested in their point of view. They had been given an order, and they were simply carrying it out, and couldn’t care less that they were engaging in a gross miscarriage of justice.

“Did you lock your car?” asked Scarlett.

She thought back to the moment they had left the car. “I think so,” she said. “Why? You don’t think they would steal that old jalopy, do you?”

It was a pretty nice neighborhood, with plenty of expensive vehicles parked in driveways all along the street. She didn’t think any of them would willingly trade in their Mercedes or Tesla for Marge’s decrepit old Peugeot. Then she had a thought. She shuffled forward again and pressed her face to the grille that separated the back of the car from the front.

“Can you call my daughter? Tell her to pick up the car? I’m pretty sure I locked it, but if I didn’t, she can pick it up and make sure nobody steals it.”

Infuriatingly, the cops in charge of their arrest didn’t even deign to respond to that. A clear indication that professional standards were dropping all across the board.

“I’ll talk to my son about this,” she grumbled. “And the two of you can expect to have to hand in your badges. This is no way to treat the chief of police’s beloved old mother.”

“And his beloved old mother’s beloved friend,” Scarlett added.

“Exactly.”

But since there didn’t seem to be a lot they could do at that point, she decided not to even try to persuade these two clowns that they were making a big mistake. Probably the biggest mistake of their lives, if she had any say in the matter.

“As soon as we arrive at the police station, Alec will release us,” she assured her friend. “Just you wait and see.”

“I hope so,” said Scarlett. “I put in a load of laundry before we left, and I don’t like it sitting in there for too long.”

“It can’t hurt your laundry,” she said. “Can it?”

“I’m not sure,” said Scarlett. “It might get all smelly again.”

“I don’t believe that is the case,” she said. “I once left a load of laundry in the machine for three whole days, and when I took it out, it still smelled of lavender. Perfectly fine.”

“Isn’t it bad for the laundry to be wet for three whole days, though? Doesn’t it start to, I don’t know, mold or rot or something?”

“Of course not,” said Vesta. “The worst that can happen is that it gets a little smelly from being cooped up inside the machine for so long. But it most certainly doesn’t rot.”

She had been glancing out of the window at the passing scenery and frowned when she saw that they had just passed the sign that said, ‘Thanks for visiting Hampton Cove!’

“Hey, where are we going?” she asked. “This isn’t the way to the station.”

“This is the way to Hampton Keys,” said Scarlett.

But the car kept zooming along, and the two cops didn’t say a word.

“Where are you taking us?” she demanded as she slammed the partition with her shackled fists.

“I don’t get it,” said Scarlett.

“Unless Alec isn’t at the station?” said Vesta. She seemed to remember Marge saying something about her brother getting some kind of award or something. “Isn’t it today that he’s meeting the governor?” she asked, the whole thing now coming back to her.

“Alec is meeting the governor?”

“I believe so. He didn’t want to make a big fuss about it, but Marge told me a couple of days ago that he was getting some kind of award or something. And I believe it was today.”

“Well, that is a first,” said Scarlett. “When has the governor ever expressed an interest in Hampton Cove before?”

“She has now,” said Vesta.

It warmed her mother’s heart that her son would be getting a medal. She had even asked Marge why Alec hadn’t invited the whole family to be there. And if he was supposed to give a speech or something. She knew how nervous Alec could get when he had to give a speech to a bunch of total strangers. But Marge said he wasn’t sure he was getting a medal. All he knew was that he had received an invitation from the governor’s office to go and meet her when she did a speech at some local school some place. Apparently, it was all pretty hush-hush.

“I believe the governor was going to be in some high school in Hampton Keys,” she said as she knitted her brows together in thought. Which was exactly where they were headed.

So maybe they were taking them there? Though try as she might, she couldn’t see why they would. Mostly, when they had been arrested in the past, they had simply locked them up in the local jail until Alec sprung them. Apparently, this time was different. But why? Unfortunately, all they could do was wait and see where these two were taking them.

She certainly hoped they wouldn’t present them to Alec in handcuffs in full view of the governor herself. Now that would be a pretty humiliating thing to do.

CHAPTER 11

Ididn’t think it would be a good idea to keep following Terence around now that we had his puppy to help us find the man’s wife. But Odelia clearly felt differently.

“I want to know where he’s going,” she said. “And I want to know what’s in the trunk of his car.” She turned to Pup. “You wouldn’t happen to know what’s in that trunk, would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Pup said. “Though like I told Harriet, I don’t think it’s Darlene’s body.”

Odelia didn’t respond, as obviously she doesn’t speak the language of dogs. But when I translated Pup’s response to her, she gave me a look that spoke volumes. She most certainly still believed that Terence’s wife was in the trunk of his car. Because one of his neighbors had told her. But since we had already gone through all of this with Pup, I didn’t feel the need to rehash this entire conversation. And so instead, I told Odelia what the puppy had told us.

“He doesn’t believe that Terence harmed Darlene. He says that if he did, he would have noticed, as he’s basically a housebound pet.”

“That doesn’t sound very nice,” Pup told me with a frown. “A housebound pet? That makes me sound as if I have some kind of disease that prevents me from leaving the house.”

“Well, you did mention that Terence doesn’t allow you to go outside by yourself,” Brutus refreshed the doggie’s memory.

“Yeah, but that’s only because he worries. The streets are filled with all manner of danger, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to me. Or someone to grab me and take me away.”

“Be that as it may,” I said, addressing Odelia, “Pup doesn’t believe that Terence killed his wife. So there’s that to consider.”

Clearly, she didn’t put a lot of stock in the puppy’s words, for the moment Terence continued his trip to wherever he was going, she also swerved out of her parking spot and was hot on his tail once again.

“You know what strikes me as odd?” asked Brutus after we had been following Terence for a mile or so.

“No, what?” I asked.

“That Terence doesn’t seem all that bothered about the absence of Pup from his vehicle.”

We all shared a look of surprise.

“You’re right,” said Harriet. “Shouldn’t he have called the police the moment he noticed Pup missing?”

Pup’s face fell. “Maybe he hasn’t noticed that I’m gone?” he suggested. “I mean, I am pretty small.”

“You’re right,” I said soothingly. “He probably is so busy plotting his trip that he hasn’t noticed you missing.”

“That’s the only explanation,” said Pup determinedly.

The other explanation was that his human simply didn’t care whether he was in the car or not. And that was simply too upsetting a notion to even consider for the tiny doggie.

“Maybe he’s calling the police right now,” Odelia suggested, after picking up on our conversation. She glanced at Pup in the rear-view mirror and offered him a sympathetic smile. “He’s probably on the phone with the authorities, conveying to them that you’re missing, Pup.”

“Yes, I’m sure you’re right,” said Pup, perking up a little.

But then why hadn’t Terence simply returned to the gas station and started looking for his beloved puppy there? It didn’t make a lot of sense. Unless he was in such a hurry he couldn’t afford to start looking for his dog. But if he really was going on holiday, as Pup seemed to believe, why would he be in a hurry? When vacationing, people typically aren’t in any hurry at all. They’re simply trying to relax and have a good time with their family—or their puppy.

It certainly painted Mr. Hill in a certain light. And not a very favorable one at that.

We were hot on the man’s tail, and as she drove, Odelia brought up Chase’s number.

“Chase?” she said when the call connected. “I’m still tailing Hill, and now I’ve got his dog.”

For a moment, the cop didn’t speak. “You have what?” he finally asked, sounding incredulous.

“That didn’t come out right,” she admitted. “The cats suggested that Hill’s dog come with us, so he can help us find Darlene. And I figured it was probably a great idea. And so he’s in the car with us now.”

“You actually stole the guy’s dog?”

“I didn’t steal him,” said Odelia. “He joined us of his own accord.”

“Try telling that to a judge. You better get that dog back to Hill, babe. And make sure that he doesn’t know that you’re the one that took him, or there will be hell to pay.”

“He hasn’t even found out that his dog is gone,” said Odelia.

“Still, you can’t just go around stealing other people’s dogs. There are laws against that kind of thing.”

“Like I said, I didn’t steal him. He wandered over of his own accord and got into my car of his own free will.”

Chase heaved a deep sigh. “Maybe you should stop chasing after this guy and get back here.”

“I want to know what’s in his trunk,” said Odelia stubbornly. She wasn’t going to give up so easily.

“The thing is…”

“Yes?”

“Well, remember how I told you that I can’t get a hold of your uncle?”

“You still haven’t been able to reach him?”

“Nope. Charlene tried calling, and when he didn’t pick up, she called the governor’s people. Only they said he governor never met Alec. They claim he wasn’t invited to a meeting.”

“Wait, what?”

“That invitation he got? They never sent it.”

“Then who did?”

“Beats me. Charlene is worried sick, and she’s already talking about sending over a team to go look for him. And that’s not all. Remember I told you that your grandmother was involved in some kind of neighborhood fracas? Well, she’s gone missing as well.”

“Missing? How can she go missing?”

“Her and Scarlett. When a squad car arrived to break up the fight, the neighbors who were doing the fighting said that a pair of cops had already showed up and arrested Vesta and Scarlett. Only that can’t be, since our team was the first to arrive on the scene.”

“So what are you saying? Fake cops kidnapped my grandmother and Scarlett?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Which is why I would like you to get back here ASAP, babe. We need to find your uncle and your grandmother.”

“Christ,” said Odelia as she tapped the steering wheel nervously. But then she made up her mind. “Okay, I’ll turn back right now.”

“I’ll wait for you and then we can go look for your uncle first.”

“Maybe there’s an innocent explanation for all of this? Maybe someone played a practical joke on my uncle by sending him that invitation and he fell for it?”

“But then why isn’t he answering his phone?”

“Because… he’s embarrassed?” She must have understood this didn’t make a lot of sense, for she muttered, “Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

After she had disconnected, she glanced at the five of us in the backseat. “Hold on to your britches, you guys. This might get a little rocky, all right?”

We all shared a look of surprise. What was she planning to do? Make a sudden U-turn and perform some kind of stunt? But instead, she overtook the car Terence Hill was driving, started driving directly in front of him, and then flashed her lights to make him pull over.

“What is she doing?” asked Brutus.

“Um… something potentially dangerous?” I ventured.

That was an understatement, as Terence seemed to have no intention of doing as Odelia suggested. Instead, he simply swerved around us and sped up again as he passed us by.

As he did, we caught a glimpse of the man, and he looked absolutely terrified! Clearly he thought that Odelia was some kind of maniac and he needed to put as much distance between himself and us as possible.

And that’s how the big chase began!

CHAPTER 12

“Why is your human chasing my human, Max?” asked Pup.

It was a good question, and one I didn’t have the answer to. Probably Odelia did, but since I didn’t want to bother her while she was engaged in a car chase, it would have to remain a mystery for now.

“Odd that he didn’t recognize Odelia,” said Harriet. “After all, he knows who she is, doesn’t he?”

“He sure does,” I said. Or at least he should, since he had asked her to find his wife for him. Maybe he hadn’t looked closely enough when she had been driving alongside.

“I think Odelia is right, Max,” said Dooley. “He really does have the body of his wife in the trunk of his car, and now he’s afraid that if he stops she will discover her.”

“That is certainly a very valid explanation,” I agreed.

Once again, we were behind the car that Terence was driving. But unfortunately, contrary to before, when presumably he hadn’t been aware that he was being followed, now he was, and he was really stepping on the pedal. And since Odelia’s pickup is an old and pretty run-down vehicle, it was no match for the fancy new SUV that Hill was driving. Soon we were falling behind and he was becoming a spot in the distance, way ahead of us.

At least, until suddenly a police vehicle zoomed right past us, clearly intent on catching up with the guy.

“Great,” said Odelia with satisfaction. “Traffic police. They must have caught him speeding. They’ll pull him over and we’ll be able to take a closer look at the trunk of his car.”

And if the police were there, Terence wouldn’t be able to get away.

“But what if Pup is right and he didn’t kill his wife?” asked Harriet.

“I’m sure he did,” said Odelia, who can be pretty stubborn when she wants to be. “Why else didn’t he pull over?”

“Maybe he thought we were a gang of crooks trying to steal his car?” I suggested.

Odelia made a scoffing noise at this. “He knows me, Max! He saw me, looked right at me, and sped up. No,” she said as she gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “He killed his wife and he knows that I know, and now he’s trying to get away.”

“I’ll bet he decided to travel to some remote area where he could bury his wife in the woods,” said Brutus. “That’s the only explanation for his strange behavior.”

“You may have a point,” I said, for I couldn’t see another explanation either.

“I think he’s got prosopagnosia,” said Dooley. When we all stared at him, he explained, “It was on the Discovery Channel last week. It’s also called face blindness. It’s when you can’t recognize faces. You see a person, and a week later you see the same person and you don’t recognize them. I’ll bet that Terence Hill is suffering from that disease, and that’s why he didn’t recognize Odelia just then.”

“And I’m sure that he killed his wife and doesn’t want me to find out,” Odelia said, sticking to her theory no matter what.

“I think Dooley is probably right,” said Pup. “Oftentimes when I walk into the bedroom in the morning, Terence will look at me really strangely. Like he’s never seen me before, you know. So he probably has this… what was it called again, Dooley?”

“Prosopagnosia,” said Dooley proudly.

“It’s also possible that Terence doesn’t recognize you because he’s not all that interested in dogs,” Brutus said, which was a mean thing to say.

But Pup wasn’t upset. “No, but he doesn’t even recognize his own wife sometimes. She will walk into the kitchen and he will look up in surprise. As if he’s never seen her before either. It’s a real thing with him. And it would drive Darlene crazy. Only last week she accused him of not loving her enough.”

“But I thought you said they never fought?” I said.

“They don’t. And they didn’t fight that time. It’s just that sometimes Darlene will be upset with some little thing that Terence does or doesn’t do. But that’s marriage for you, isn’t it?”

Brutus and Harriet shared a look, then they both nodded. “Sometimes little things that Brutus does will drive me up the wall,” Harriet admitted.

“And the same goes for me,” said Brutus.

Harriet frowned. “And what, pray tell, do I do that drives you up the wall, sugar plum?”

Brutus looked caught. “Well… um…” But when he saw the look on Harriet’s face, he ended with a lame, “Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Harriet. “There’s nothing I do that irks you, pookie pants, because I’m your one true love, aren’t I?”

“Absolutely, snookums,” said Brutus quickly. “You’re simply perfect, that’s all. And that’s why there’s nothing that irks me about you.”

She nodded, satisfied that she had driven her point home.

Meanwhile, we were still in hot pursuit of Terence Hill, but now it seemed that the cops had finally managed to overtake him, for we saw him parked on the road shoulder, the two cops having stepped out of their car but still keeping a safe distance, just in case he got crazy and started shooting at them or some such strange behavior. And so Odelia also parked on the shoulder, a safe distance in front of Hill’s car, and got out. The five of us followed suit and started heading in the direction of Hill’s car.

“I hope he’s not too upset that I decided to abandon him,” said Pup as we approached. “I mean, there’s no way I can explain it to him, that what I did, I did for Darlene. But I hope he understands. Through the eternal and mysterious bond between human and dog, I mean.”

“I’m sure he will understand,” I said reassuringly. Though he probably had other things to worry about right now, like the fine he would be getting for speeding, and Odelia, who was determined to rifle through his trunk and discover his dead wife hidden in there.

Oddly enough, when we arrived at Terence’s car, of the man there was not a single trace, and when we looked beyond the deserted vehicle, we saw the cop car had also vanished.

“Where are the cops?” asked Brutus.

“Where is Terence?” asked Pup.

Odelia closed the final few yards at a jog, and when she arrived at the car, could only confirm what we had already surmised from a distance: the driver had disappeared.

“Those cops must have taken him,” said Harriet.

She was right. And since we had been so focused on Terence, we probably hadn’t noticed the cop car driving past us. Unless of course it had gone in the other direction…

“I don’t get it,” said Odelia as she scratched her scalp. “He’s gone. Simply vanished without a trace, and so have those cops.”

“Check the trunk,” I suggested.

After all, that had been her sole intention all along.

And so she popped the trunk. The five of us sat at her feet while she peered inside.

“And?” I asked. “Is she in there?”

“Of course not,” said Pup. “Terence would never murder Darlene. He loved her too much.”

“Sometimes when we love someone too much, we do strange things,” Harriet professed.

Pup gave her an ‘are you kidding me’ look that passed over her head. But in the end, the proof was in the pudding as Odelia stepped back from the trunk. “Nothing,” she admitted. “No body, no nothing.”

“See!” Pup cried triumphantly. “I told you Terence didn’t kill his wife. Didn’t I tell you?”

“You sure did,” I confirmed.

The problem was that our case had just gotten a whole lot more complicated: not only was Darlene missing, but now her husband had also disappeared.

Things were getting interesting.

CHAPTER 13

Vesta thought that these cops were behaving pretty strangely. The longer she and Scarlett were confined in the back of the police car, the more suspicious this was starting to get. And so finally, she couldn’t keep her tongue anymore. “Hey, when are you going to let us out of here!” she shouted. And for good measure, she gave that partition another good thump with her shackled fists.

One of the cops glanced over her shoulder and fixed her with a cold look. But it took more than a nasty glance to dissuade Vesta from adhering to a policy she had religiously stuck to all of her life: when you don’t like something, you need to make sure that everyone is made privy to that sentiment. And then there was her second policy: that she wouldn’t be ignored!

And so she settled back and started thumping the partition with her foot. And when that didn’t elicit a response, she raised her second foot and started hitting the thing with everything she had. At some point they’d have to acknowledge her presence, right?

Scarlett had been watching on, looking quite stunned.

“Can you help me out here, hun?” said Vesta. “If we both put our body weight into it, we should be able to make a difference.”

“But this is a police car, Vesta,” said Scarlett. “We can’t destroy it. They’ll sue us for damages if we do.”

“They should have thought of that before they put us in the backseat and then decided to play deaf, blind, and dumb.”

Scarlett wavered. “It is true that they could have talked to us,” she admitted. “You know, maybe explained where they’re taking us and all of that. But still. Are you sure that acting like two hooligans will help our cause?”

“If it makes them find those vocal cords that they seem to have lost, then sure,” said Vesta. And so she put her feet up on that partition once again, and this time Scarlett did the same thing. Together they started hitting that thing as hard as they could. It wasn’t easy, as they were handcuffed, and so they couldn’t really do as much damage as she would have liked. But she could already see that the screws that held the thing in place were starting to rattle and that the metal that formed the partition was starting to get bent out of shape.

A little more of this and they might start to see a result.

“Hey!” suddenly one of the cops yelled. “Cut it out!”

“Not until you tell us where you are taking us,” said Vesta.

“To the police station,” said the cop, who seemed to have mysteriously found her voice again, just as Vesta had hoped and expected.

“This isn’t the way to the Hampton Cove police station,” she pointed out the obvious. “So to repeat: where are you taking us?”

“To the Hampton Keys police station,” said the cop, earning herself a dirty look from her colleague behind the wheel. Clearly, they were under strict instructions not to divulge more information than strictly necessary.

“Why Hampton Keys?”

“Because that’s where we were ordered to take you,” said the cop, and clearly hoped that would be the end of that conversation. But she hadn’t counted on Vesta, who wasn’t a child, after all, but a grown-up, and didn’t like others to decide for her what they did with her.

“Take us back to Hampton Cove,” she said therefore. “Or better yet, let us go. We didn’t do anything wrong, so this arrest is strictly unnecessary. And if you simply talk to my son, he will explain to you exactly why that is.”

Once again, the cop had decided to play dumb. And so Vesta and Scarlett resumed their assault on the partition. This time they were really getting somewhere, as the thing started budging slightly. If they kept this up, they might even be able to kick right through it.

“Hey, stop it!” the cop yelled. “Don’t make your situation worse than it already is!”

“How much worse can it get?” argued Vesta. “We’re being taken to a destination unknown by a pair of cops we’ve never seen before, and you won’t even talk to my son. So either you stop this vehicle and let us walk free, or you’ll be sorry you ever embarked on this campaign!”

And to show them that she wasn’t afraid to put her money where her mouth was, she gave that partition another good kicking. This time the thing was really starting to feel the effect of their joint campaign of destruction.

“Stop!” said the cop. And this time when she looked up, she found herself staring down the barrel of a rather large gun. It looked more like a cannon, and definitely not the kind of handgun that was standard-issue at the station Alec ran. “One more kick and I’ll shoot.”

“That isn’t even a standard-issue gun,” she said, her sense that something was terribly amiss rising with leaps and bounds. “Who are you people? Cause you sure as heck aren’t regular cops. And what were you doing in Hampton Cove—outside of your jurisdiction?”

“Just shut it, lady,” the cop advised, and now trained the gun on Scarlett for good measure. “Or your friend gets it. Understood?”

Vesta glared at the woman. “You’re not a cop. So what are you? And where are you really taking us?”

“I don’t understand,” said Scarlett. “What’s going on?”

“These aren’t cops,” said Vesta. “I don’t know what they are, but they most definitely aren’t police officers. And if they’re not cops, that means we’re being kidnapped.”

“But… why?” asked Scarlett, her eyes going wide.

“How should I know?” said Vesta. “Ask them. They’re the ones who are taking us to Hampton Keys—allegedly.”

“Quiet!” the cop yelled as she held up that giant-ass gun again. And then, probably just because she could, she fired a shot, straight into the roof of the car. The sound was deafening, and when they looked up, Vesta saw there was now a giant hole in the roof of the car.

“What did you do that for!” the woman’s colleague cried, looking quite startled.

“A demonstration,” said the shooter with a nasty grin. “Make ‘em see we’re not kidding.”

“That’s not a gun,” said Scarlett. “That’s a cannon.”

“It sure is a big gun,” Vesta agreed.

She could just imagine the hole this thing would make in her, or in Scarlett. And so she decided that maybe it was best if they settled down for now, and waited until they were in a better position. Like when they were being led out of the car. And so she sidled over to Scarlett and lowered her voice.

“The moment they let us out of the car, we make a run for it—understood?”

“Understood,” Scarlett whispered back.

“And don’t even think about trying to escape,” said the gun-crazy fake cop as she swung that giant handgun of hers. “Or I’ll drill a nice fat hole in both of you. Is that understood?”

Clearly, Vesta and Scarlett hadn’t been as quiet as they could have been.

And so they both nodded silently.

Looked like they were in a big ol’ heap of trouble!

CHAPTER 14

“Iguess we better return to Hampton Cove,” said Odelia.

It was like music to my ears. This whole endeavor had been like a wild-goose chase in my personal opinion. But then, unlike most of the times when Odelia takes on a case, she hadn’t asked our opinion. Instead, she had simply dragged us along. I would have said it was highly irresponsible, but then I guess I knew she was acting from a noble sentiment: to try to find Darlene Hill—preferably alive and well.

“Where is my human?” asked Pup once we had all filed back into the pickup. “Did the police take him?”

“Looks like it,” I said. Though why they would do a thing like that was beyond me. Usually, police don’t arrest people for speeding. They simply give them a ticket and are done with it. This time they had taken Terence in.

Odelia must also have found this a little strange, for she was already on the phone with Dolores, the station dispatcher.

“Oh, hey, Odelia,” said the crusty old lady. “What’s up?”

“I was following this guy in the direction of Hampton Keys,” said Odelia, “and suddenly he was picked up by a squad car.”

“What guy is this?” asked Dolores.

“Terence Hill.” She gave the dispatcher the man’s license plate.

After a few moments, Dolores came back: “I don’t see anything about any arrest,” she confessed. “Any idea who the cops were that picked him up?”

“I didn’t get a good look at them,” said Odelia. “But they didn’t look familiar.”

“Maybe they were state police?”

“It’s possible,” said Odelia. “But what would the state police be doing on the road from Hampton Cove to Hampton Keys? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe it was the Hampton Keys police?”

“They came from the Hampton Cove direction,” said Odelia.

“Weird,” said Dolores. “And you know what’s even weirder? That the boss has gone missing.”

“You still haven’t been able to reach him?” asked Odelia.

“No, and not for a lack of trying. Even Charlene has been down here, going out of her mind with worry.”

“Have you tried contacting the local police in Hampton Keys?”

“We did, yeah, but they have no idea what happened to the chief either. The chief of police over there, a woman named Suzette Doyle, says she met with Alec at the school where the governor was giving her big speech, but she hasn’t seen him since.”

“This is not like my uncle at all.”

“You’re right about that,” Dolores agreed. “Chase is on the case now, though. He’s left for Hampton Keys, and he’ll try to locate the chief. Wherever he ended up, he’ll find him.”

After Odelia disconnected, she was lost in thought for a moment, before punching in another number on her phone. This time, Chase’s voice sounded through the car again.

“You’re en route to Hampton Keys?” she asked without preamble. I guess when you’ve been married as long as Odelia and Chase have, you can safely dispense with all of those silly preliminaries like ‘hello’ and ‘how are you?’

“Yeah, I’m nearly there,” said Chase.

“Why don’t I meet you there?”

“I’m heading to the school where Alec was supposed to meet the governor. I’ve arranged to meet Chief Suzette Doyle. Maybe she can fill me in on what happened. Where are you?”

“En route back to Hampton Cove. Terence Hill was picked up by the police, though no one seems to know where he is right now, so that’s another mystery I’m contending with.”

“He’ll pop up,” said Chase. “And I’m sure so will your uncle.”

“I’ll meet you at the school,” she said, and hung up.

“You will find Uncle Alec,” said Brutus. “He can’t have gone far.”

“No, I guess not,” said Odelia, though she didn’t seem entirely convinced. At that moment, her phone chimed, and she pressed the big green button.

“Mom?”

“Have you heard from your grandmother?” asked Marge, also sounding worried.

Odelia grimaced and squeezed her eyes closed for a brief moment. “No, why?”

“Well, I’ve been trying to get in touch with her, and she doesn’t pick up.”

She clearly wondered if she should tell her mom about the fake cops and the arrest, but then decided not to. No need for Marge to get worked up about something that may or not be true. It was hard to believe that fake cops could have possibly kidnapped Gran and Scarlett.

“She was involved in some kind of neighborhood fracas. I’m sure she’s still busy with that.”

“What neighborhood fracas?”

“I don’t have all the details, but I’m sure she’s fine, Mom.”

“I hope so. She has never ignored me before.”

“Have you tried Scarlett? Usually, those two are joined at the hip.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Mom. “I’ll try her phone right now.”

“Who are these people?” asked Pup.

“Odelia’s grandmother and her best friend Scarlett,” I explained. “They run the local neighborhood watch, and today they decided to try a new approach by patrolling during the daytime. Mostly they do their patrols at night.”

“Gran asked us to tag along,” said Harriet, “like she usually does. But Odelia was the first one to ask us, so that’s why we’re here and not with Gran.”

“Looks like she’s in trouble,” said Dooley, a note of concern in his voice. “I hope she and Scarlett are fine.”

“I’m sure they are,” I said. Gran is one of those people who never really get into any trouble. Probably because she’s so fierce that trouble is more scared of her than she is of it.

Odelia had pulled off another U-turn at a nearby intersection, and now we were on our way to Hampton Keys once again, where hopefully we would find Uncle Alec.

It certainly was shaping up to be an eventful day.

CHAPTER 15

Charlene gazed out of the window of her office and found her eyes drawn in the direction of the police station—more specifically, the window of her husband Alec’s office. She had to admit she was more than a little worried. She hadn’t even told Chase the half of it when she conveyed her concern about her husband suddenly becoming unresponsive to her messages and phone calls. This wasn’t like Alec at all. Usually, when she called and he was in a meeting, he would at least send her a message in reply. This time? Nothing whatsoever.

And the worst part was that he hadn’t gone missing in Hampton Cove, where his officers could conduct a search. In Hampton Keys, they had no clout at all and were forced to depend on others. And even though she had no reason to mistrust their chief of police, she still found Chief Doyle strangely lacking in support and understanding of the gravity of the situation.

It was more than a little infuriating.

At least Chase was heading over there now to take matters into his own hands.

As she returned to her desk and picked up her reading glasses, she discovered that she had received a message on her phone. It was from Alec. Her heart rejoiced as she grabbed the phone and clicked on the message. Her joy didn’t last more than a few seconds and was quickly replaced by a sense of bewilderment as she read what her husband had written.

‘I can’t do this anymore, Charlene. I need a break.’

Her heart sank, and a cold chill raced up her spine as she started typing a response.

‘What do you mean? What break?’

It didn’t take long for his reply to appear.

‘A break from everything. Us. The job.’

Her jaw dropped as she read the words. This couldn’t be happening. Her husband? Having some kind of nervous breakdown? What was going on?

She pressed the call button, but as before, he didn’t pick up. Clearly, he didn’t want to talk to her about what he was going through. But before she could type another message, he was already sending her one.

‘Better start looking for a replacement. I’ve been chief of police far too long. Time for some new blood.’

This couldn’t be happening!

‘I don’t understand,’ she quickly typed. ‘Come home so we can talk about this.’

‘I need time to think. Please try to forget about me.’

She stared at the words, and tears sprang to her eyes. But then she steeled herself. Clearly, he was suffering some kind of crisis and needed her support in this difficult time.

‘Come home, Alec. Let’s deal with this together.’

‘Goodbye, Charlene. Find a new chief—and a new husband.’

Her fingers trembled, and the phone almost slipped from her grip. She staggered back and, more through habit than design, stumbled into her chair instead of flat-out on the floor. When five minutes later Imelda walked in, she found her white as a sheet, looking quite undone.

“Madam Mayor!” her secretary cried as she hurried to her side. “What happened?”

“It’s Alec,” she managed. “He’s gone off the rails.”

She handed the secretary her phone, and as Imelda read the string of messages, she seemed as surprised as Charlene. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she managed, “This is crazy. He can’t do this to you.”

“And yet he did,” said Charlene in a toneless voice.

It wasn’t the first time that a husband of hers had betrayed and deserted her, of course. But Alec Lip was most definitely the very last person she would ever have thought would do a similar thing to her. She had always thought that he, contrary to her ex-husband Jim Hobbin, actually loved and respected her. But clearly, that wasn’t the case, or he would have opted to talk to her about this malaise he was finding himself in. Instead, he had decided to pull a disappearing act on her and send her these few lines that didn’t really tell her anything.

Find herself a new chief of police? A new husband? The man had clearly lost the plot. But what was worse, he was well underway to breaking her heart.

She held out her hand, and Imelda handed her back her phone. She put it to her ear and moments later was in touch with Chase, still en route to Hampton Keys.

“Alec just sent me a string of messages,” she told the detective.

“Is he all right?” asked Chase.

“Define ‘all right.’ He says he needs a break and doesn’t want to be chief of police anymore. Conversely, he also doesn’t want to be my husband anymore.”

“What!”

“So I guess you can call off the search. Clearly, he disappeared because he wanted to be gone. And when he’s good and ready, he’ll return—maybe.” Or not. She was not the kind of woman who easily found it in her heart to forgive and forget when a man stomped on her heart.

“I don’t believe this,” said Chase, always the loyal lieutenant.

“You’d better,” she said. “The messages came from his phone.”

“But why would Alec suddenly not want to be chief of police anymore? That doesn’t make any sense. Or not want to be your husband anymore? I know he always speaks very highly of you, and these last couple of years have been the happiest of his life. I know that for a fact.”

“Clearly, he’s had a change of heart.”

“Impossible. Alec isn’t the sort of man to simply quit his job and his marriage like that. Something stinks, Charlene.”

A slight sliver of hope surged in her heart. “You think?”

“Absolutely. This isn’t like the Alec I know. He would never do that to you—or to the people of Hampton Cove.”

“So… you think someone was holding his hand as he wrote these messages?”

“Or took his phone and is pretending to be Alec.”

“But why? I don’t understand.”

“Look, I’m almost in Hampton Keys, and so is Odelia. We’ll find your husband for you, Charlene. Trust me. And when we do, we’ll get some answers from the people that took him.”

“You really think he’s been taken?”

“Of course. I don’t know why, and I don’t know what their endgame is, but I can promise you that I’ll find out.”

“Thanks, Chase,” she said quietly. And as she hung up, she found herself clinging to this tiny seed of hope that the detective had managed to plant in her heart. She loved Alec. She couldn’t deny it. And if he really did decide to end their marriage, it would hit her harder than she liked to admit. So she figured she might as well cling to the hope that Chase was right, and that some nefarious third party was behind this.

Which meant that Alec was in extreme danger right now—or maybe… maybe he was already dead.

CHAPTER 16

Alec woke up with a pounding headache. The first few moments he thought he was actually at home in bed suffering some kind of hangover. But then as far as he could remember he hadn’t drunk a drop, so where could that hangover possibly come from?

And that’s when he opened his eyes and it soon dawned on him that he wasn’t in his own home and his own bedroom at all but in some dank underground dungeon that didn’t look at all hospitable or even fit for human habitation.

His one wrist was shackled to an iron bar that was embedded in the wall against which he had been placed. He held up his arm and inspected the shackle. It was a good old-fashioned police handcuff, like the ones he used himself down at the station, to prevent apprehended criminals from making good their escape. Try as he might, though, he couldn’t imagine why anyone would have locked him up here. It simply didn’t make sense. Like, at all.

After wracking his addled and painful brain for a few moments, he remembered that he’d been invited to talk to the governor of their great state, and had even been in the same room with her for a moment while she was giving a speech. Then he had accepted an invitation from his colleague, chief of police Suzette Doyle, to grab a cup of coffee, and that’s when things sort of had disintegrated. Somehow he had gone from following Suzette to the canteen to grab that coffee to being locked up in this dungeon. But how? And why? And, most importantly, by whom? It was all pretty much a mystery to him.

He glanced down when he heard a sort of scratching noise, and saw that at least he wasn’t alone in this prison cell. He had the company of a rather large and mean-looking rat. The rodent must have been as surprised to see him as he was to see it, for it pointed its nose in his direction and sniffed quite audibly and visibly, its whiskers nervously twitching all the while.

“Hey, buddy,” he said by way of greeting. “Looks like it’s just you and me for the time being. Partners and cellmates.”

The rat didn’t respond in any noticeable way, but merely ducked back into the tiny hole that it must have burrowed into the wall and disappeared from view.

Alec sighed. He hoped that whoever had taken him prisoner would at the very least feed him and allow him to use the bathroom. Though speaking of his sanitary needs, just then he located a metal bucket placed next to him. Looked like he’d have to do his business the old-fashioned way. Though with one hand shackled to the wall, that might prove a tricky proposition.

He studied his surroundings: red-brick floor, white-plastered walls and ceiling with plenty of large spots of mold in various shades of green, black and brown, and a tiny window with two rusty iron bars located near the ceiling. There was also a small wooden table and even a chair, presumably set up there so at some point he could enjoy a meager meal—hopefully. It wasn’t much, but apparently it was going to be home for the foreseeable future.

Just then, a key jangled in the lock and the door swung open, to reveal… Chief Doyle!

“Suzette?” he said, much surprised. But then hope surged in his bosom. Clearly, she had become wise to his abduction and was here to save him! “Get me out of these handcuffs, will you? And help me get up.”

But instead, his fellow keeper of the peace just stood there, eyes glittering, which is when it started to dawn on him that Suzette might not be the woman he thought she was.

“We’ll remove the handcuffs, Alec,” she said, “when you decide to play ball.”

He frowned. “Play ball? What are you talking about?”

“I think you know. I think you know perfectly well what I’m talking about.”

He shook his head, both to clear the remaining cobwebs that lingered in that old noggin of his, and to indicate he had absolutely no clue what Suzette was going on about. “I don’t…”

She cocked her head. “Oh, Alec. Just think, will you? I know it’s probably hard for you, given your present circumstances. But give it the old college try.”

“Did you put me in here?” he asked instead.

“Of course I did.” When she saw the disappointment on his face, she laughed a hacking laugh—the laugh of a staunch life-long smoker. “Oh, I see. You thought I was here to rescue you, did you? Well, I hate to disappoint you, my friend.”

“But why? I don’t understand.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. “I guess I’ll have to let you stew on it for a little while longer. Looks like the stuff we sedated you with is still in your system.”

And with these words, she started to remove herself from the room.

“Hey!” he yelled before she could close the door and relegate him to his isolation once again. “Aren’t you going to, you know, feed me and all of that?”

“Oh, are you hungry already?”

“Darn right I am. And thirsty, too.”

“Patience,” said Suzette, and then she did slam the door shut and turn the key in the lock.

Try as he might, though, he couldn’t think of any reason why Suzette Doyle, of all people, would have taken him prisoner. He’d known Suzette for many years, her being chief of police of Hampton Keys for almost as long as he’d been chief of police of Hampton Cove. They’d often meet in an official capacity and he had always respected the woman greatly, both as a human being and a professional.

So what could have induced her to take a fellow police official prisoner? What did she want from him?

As he threw his mind back to the last time he and Suzette had met, three months ago or so, he wondered if at that time she had dropped a hint that portended things to come. But no. As far as he remembered, she hadn’t made any reference to something he needed to do for her.

Unless, of course…

There had been one incident last month, but he couldn’t imagine Suzette could be involved with that at all.

Could she?

If she was, this thing was much worse than he had thought. Much, much worse.

If only he could send a message to Chase. But they had taken his phone when they knocked him out.

All he could do now was hope that Chase would come looking, and also his niece Odelia. Maybe even his mother—God forbid. They must be aware by now that he had been taken, wouldn’t they? So they would be out looking for him.

They’d figure it out. All three of them were clever enough. And if they joined forces, not even Suzette Doyle was a match for them.

Which is when he suddenly got a bright idea—or at least he thought he did.

“Hey, rat!” he said, and snapped his fingers. “Rat, come out here a second, will you, little buddy? I’ve got something to ask you.”

The rat, as if capable of understanding what he was saying—or maybe simply divining the intention behind the words—poked its nose out of its hiding place once more.

“Look, buddy, this may sound a little weird. But my niece Odelia has these cats, see. There’s four of them, and they’re pretty smart. So smart they can talk to her, and she can talk to them. And the strange thing is they can also talk to other animals—like you, for instance.”

The rat sniffed the air, wiggling its nose as it did. Alec saw this as a good sign—a sign that it was listening intently and hanging on to his every word.

“Well, the thing is that I’ve been locked up in here. They took me prisoner and they refuse to let me go.” He held up the shackled hand and rattled the handcuff for good measure. “See? I can’t get away. So this is what I want you to do for me. I want you to go out there and look for my niece’s cats. You can’t miss them. They’re quite the characters, all four of them. There’s Max—he’s a fat orange tabby. And his best friend Dooley, a sort of fluffy mixture of beige and gray. Not sure what breed. He’s real small for his age. And then there’s Harriet. She’s this really gorgeous white Persian, see. And her boyfriend, Brutus, is a hefty black cat. He belongs to my best friend Chase, who’s a detective and also my deputy at the police station.”

The rat didn’t confirm or deny that he had gotten the message, but it didn’t retreat back into its hole either, which he saw as a positive omen.

“So if you could do this little thing for me—find Max, Dooley, Harriet, and Brutus and tell them Uncle Alec is being held prisoner? That’d be a great thing you could do for me, buddy.”

He’d never thought once that at some point in his life he’d be talking to a rat, but then you never know what might be around the corner.

“Did you get all of that, rat?” he asked anxiously.

Amazingly, he actually thought that the rat nodded its furry little head. It could just be his imagination, of course. Or maybe he was going a little nuts after being held captive there. He’d heard of prisoners going stir-crazy due to the stress of being locked up in a tiny cell. So maybe that was what was happening to him. Though it would surprise him, as he’d only been there for a short while—at least as far as he knew.

“Okay, so please go out there and talk to other animals,” he urged the rat. “Find Odelia’s cats for me and tell them what’s going on. They live in Hampton Cove, but something tells me they’ll be out looking for me.” Though he had no way of knowing where he was being held, something told him that Suzette had elected to keep him close by, which would mean he had never left Hampton Keys. Hopefully, Chase and Odelia would move heaven and earth to find him, and if this rat could meet them halfway, that would be swell.

The rat, after seemingly having listened to him intently, now returned to its hidey-hole, eliciting a deep sigh of disappointment from Alec. Looked like his speech had fallen on deaf ears and that the rat wouldn’t move a muscle.

Then again, what could you expect from a rat?

CHAPTER 17

Clarice was not a happy camper. Far from it. Ever since she had been adopted by Scarlett, she had been living a pretty charmed life, with Scarlett fussing over her and turning her from a feral street cat into possibly the most pampered cat in all of Hampton Cove. And the strange thing was: Clarice loved it! She hadn’t expected to enjoy owning a human, but she did. It probably was too much to say that she loved Scarlett—no self-respecting cat will ever confess to loving their human—but she had developed a certain fondness for the woman.

And so she missed her. Actually missed her! How about that? Mostly she and Scarlett spent a lot of time together. She slept at the foot of the woman’s bed at night, lay with her head on her lap while they watched television together, and even during the daytime often spent time with her. And now? Nothing. Ever since Scarlett had left to go on her neighborhood watch patrol, she had disappeared. Vanished into thin air. Gone!

It was hard to fathom that a woman as noticeable and striking as Scarlett could go missing, but apparently, it had happened. And so it wasn’t long before Clarice, never one to sit around and wait for things to happen, decided to investigate and see what was taking Scarlett so long.

The first place any cat in Hampton Cove goes when they’re in need of finding out stuff is the General Store, located on Main Street. In front of the store, that large mainstay can usually be found keeping an eye on things: Kingman, Wilbur Vickery’s gigantic tabby, also known as Hampton Cove’s feline mayor, on account of the fact that he knows everyone and can always be relied upon to be aware of everything that goes on in that small town of theirs.

And so it was that when Clarice had finally made the short trek from her apartment to the General Store, she found Kingman relaxing on his perch in front of the store. Wilbur had put a chair out, and it was on top of this that Kingman now reposed—like an emperor on his throne.

“Hey, Clarice,” said the voluminous feline. “How’s it going?”

“Not so well, Kingman,” she admitted. “I seem to have mislaid my human. You wouldn’t happen to have seen her, would you?”

“Scarlett? Sure I have. She and Vesta went out on patrol this morning.”

“I know that,” she said with a touch of surliness. She had come there to glean information that she wasn’t aware of yet, not stuff that she knew. “But surely that doesn’t take all day?”

“Oh, but they got arrested,” said Kingman. “Didn’t you know? Got involved in some kind of fracas between neighbors and got picked up by the cops.”

She stared at the large cat. “What?”

“Sure. Par for the course with those two.”

That was true enough. She couldn’t count on the digits of her four paws the number of times Vesta and Scarlett had a run-in with local law enforcement. Strange as that might sound, as Vesta’s son was in charge of said law enforcement. The bane of his existence, he sometimes called his mother, with a human’s typical sense of exaggeration and unnecessary drama.

“So where are they now?” she asked. She didn’t like the fact that Scarlett was locked up someplace. That woman wasn’t made to be locked up. Free as a bird she should be, at all times. And if it was up to Clarice, she’d arrange her escape from the pokey if that was what it took to get her home safe and sound again.

“No idea,” said Kingman. “Though I imagine they probably took the pair off to the police station jail.”

“Mmh,” said Clarice, wondering how she could possibly spring Scarlett from there. If only Max was here, he might be able to come up with a plan. “Haven’t seen Max, have you?”

“Nope. He and his friends are riding with Odelia this morning. Hot on the trail of a suspected wife killer.” Kingman gave her a grin. “Attached to your human, are you? Don’t worry, Clarice. It happens to the best of us. They have this annoying tendency to grow on us, humans do.”

She sighed. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve grown quite partial to being in Scarlett’s company. And I don’t like the fact that she’s languishing in some jail somewhere.”

“So let’s get her out of there,” Kingman suggested simply.

“But how? They have iron bars and all of that. I’ve got a prime set of gnashers, but even I can’t chew through a set of iron bars.”

“No need for all of that. All we need to do is convince some other human to let them out of there.”

“That would be Uncle Alec,” Clarice knew.

“He’s gone,” said Kingman sadly. “Left his wife and quit his job.”

“What?!”

“Charlene is devastated,” said Kingman.

“And how do you know about that?”

“Oh, Charlene’s secretary was in here just now and told Wilbur all about it. Looks like another marriage on the rocks,” he added with some relish. “Though Chase claims that it’s all stuff and nonsense and that Alec has been abducted and forced to write those messages to Charlene.” He grimaced. “Wishful thinking, if you ask me. Humans will always do these crazy things. One day they’re happy and snuggling on the couch with their one true love, and the next they decide that romance isn’t what it’s cracked up to be and they’re filing for divorce. Just the way they operate.”

“Hard to believe that Alec would leave his wife,” said Clarice. “Or the job. I always thought he loved being chief of police.”

“Well, that just goes to show that you never know.”

“Humans,” she said with a shake of the head. It posed them with a significant problem, though. “So if the chief can’t get his mother out of jail, who can?”

“Ah,” said Kingman with a smile. “Any officer in that police station can. All we have to do is convince them to do the right thing.”

“Fat chance of that.”

“Not us, silly. Marge Poole.”

A surge of hope rallied her. “Marge will help us?”

“Of course she will. She may not always be her mother’s biggest fan, but she doesn’t want to see her locked up any more than you do. So all we need to do is talk to Marge, and we’ll get this show on the road.”

He hopped down from his perch to join her on the sidewalk. And just as they were about to set out in search of Marge Poole, Shanille decided to put in an appearance.

“Hey, Clarice,” said the choir conductor. “Kingman. Where are you guys off to?”

“We’re going to convince Marge to set Vesta and Scarlett free,” said Kingman. “My idea,” he added proudly.

“They’ve been arrested again, have they?”

“Yes, they have. As per usual. And Clarice misses her human. Don’t you, Clarice?”

Clarice gritted her teeth. Far be it from her to look a gift horse in the mouth, but sometimes she wished that Kingman was just a little less talkative and eager to spill the beans on his friends. “Yes,” she finally managed. “I do miss her.”

Shanille laughed. “Welcome to the club, honey. When Father Reilly adopted me, at first I didn’t like him at all. I just thought he was a stuffy old so-and-so. But as often happens, he grew on me, and now I can’t imagine life without him. They do have a tendency to get under your skin, don’t they, these humans?”

“They certainly do,” she agreed.

“Okay, so let’s go and find Marge,” said Shanille. “And get that human of yours home where she belongs.”

CHAPTER 18

We had finally arrived in Hampton Keys, and it struck me how much like Hampton Cove the town really was. Bigger, of course, but also quite pleasant. We met up with Chase in front of the Park Lane High School that had seen plenty of activity earlier in the day but was quite devoid of life now. As it was a Saturday, the students were home enjoying their well-deserved weekend, and the governor had come and gone—and so, presumably, had Uncle Alec.

“So this is where he was supposed to meet the governor, right?” asked Odelia as she studied the school’s facade, which looked just like any other school I had ever seen. Red brick with a nice entrance, in other words pleasant enough if you were of a certain age and forced by the state to spend time there. Lucky for us, cats were given a free pass by the legislators and aren’t required to attend school from the ages of six to sixteen—in cat years, that is.

“Yep,” Chase confirmed. “So what about your Terence Hill? Any sign of him?”

Odelia shook her head. “I believe he was arrested by those cops I saw, but I’ve talked to Dolores, and she doesn’t have any record of him being picked up, or of the two officers I saw on the road. She figures they were Hampton Keys cops. It’s all very mysterious, isn’t it?”

“People seem to keep disappearing.” He checked his watch. “I’ve arranged for Chief Doyle to meet us here. She saw Alec this morning, so hopefully she’ll be able to tell us more.”

At that moment, a police car came driving up and parked right next to Chase’s squad car and Odelia’s old pickup. A hefty woman got out, dressed in a police uniform, and I assumed that this was the chief of police Chase was referring to. She greeted them with a curt nod. “Detective, Miss Kingsley. Still no sign of Chief Lip?”

“He’s been in touch with his wife,” said Chase. “Telling her he wants a divorce and that he’s quitting his job.”

“Does he now?” said Chief Doyle. “That would explain a lot.”

“I have reason to believe those messages were sent by the people that took him.”

The woman frowned. “What makes you think he was taken?”

“Alec Lip isn’t just my boss, he’s also one of my best friends,” said Chase. “And I honestly can’t believe he’d do a crazy thing like that. That’s not like the Alec I know at all.”

“Well, there isn’t a lot more I can say than what I already told you over the phone,” said Chief Doyle. “I ran into Alec this morning, when we were both attending the governor’s speech. I offered him a coffee in the school canteen, we talked about this and that, and then he said he had some urgent business to attend to. I returned to the assembly hall, and that’s the last time I laid eyes on him.”

“Could you show us the canteen?” asked Odelia.

“Sure thing, honey,” said the chief, and led us to the school’s entrance. She frowned when she saw that Odelia was being followed by no less than four cats and one dog. “Um… looks like we’re being persecuted by the local fauna. Want me to get rid of them?”

“Oh, those are my cats,” said Odelia. “And the dog belongs to someone I know.”

“Is that…” Chase began as he looked down at Pup. His eyes lit up when he took in the adorable puppy.

“Yeah, that’s Pup,” said Odelia.

“He’s cute,” said Chase, who has always been a dog person at heart, even though he’s also a cat person by marriage.

“Did you hear that, Pup?” asked Harriet. “Chase thinks you’re cute.”

“He seems nice,” said Pup shyly. “Who is he?”

“That’s Odelia’s husband,” I explained. “Chase Kingsley. He’s a detective.”

“If for some reason we never find Darlene again,” said Harriet. “I’m sure that Chase will be happy to adopt you.”

Pup’s face fell. “I hope we do find her, though. Chase may be nice and all, but Darlene is simply the best. There’s no one quite like her.”

“I understand,” said Harriet, since for us, our humans are also extra-special and we wouldn’t want to miss them for the world—or replace them with someone else, nice though they may be.

We had entered the school building and were led along a long hallway that was tiled and smelled faintly of sweaty feet and the odor of fear and anxiety. I guess housing hundreds of kids on a daily basis year after year, the place starts to get impregnated with their particular scent after a while.

“I don’t think I would like to go to school, Max,” said Dooley after we had been walking for what felt like an eternity. “These school buildings are huge! It doesn’t feel very nice.”

“No, it sure doesn’t,” I agreed.

“To be locked up like this with hordes of kids… I don’t think I would enjoy it.”

As a rule, cats are not particularly fond of kids, and to be in the same building, behind lock and key, as it were, with hundreds of the creatures, felt like hell to me.

“I’m sure that some schools are better than others,” said Brutus. “Take Grace, for instance. She loves going to school, doesn’t she?”

“That’s different,” said Harriet. “Grace is a strong-willed young lady and she’s probably the top dog in her school.”

Dooley laughed. “Grace isn’t a dog, Harriet. So how can she be a top dog?”

“It’s a manner of speech, Dooley,” Harriet insisted. “Anyone can be a top dog, even a human. And Grace definitely is. She’s a born leader and so she doesn’t suffer from going to school. It’s the meek and mild-mannered kids who suffer, because they’re being put upon by the top dogs.”

“Are you saying that Grace is a bully?” I asked. “Because I don’t think she is.”

“Top dogs aren’t necessarily bullies, Max,” Harriet continued to lecture us on all things school life—even though to my knowledge she had never been to school herself. “Grace is a top dog, but not a bully, whereas some top dogs are, and make life difficult for kids that aren’t assertive.”

One thing was for sure: if Harriet ever went to school, she would be the top cat to beat all top cats. The tippity-top cat, in fact. Though I wouldn’t wish it on any cat to go to a school where Harriet was in charge. It wouldn’t be a fun experience.

We had finally arrived at what Chief Doyle called the assembly hall, and it was indeed a pretty large space, with benches placed all around, and a large square in the center. There was even a stage where a lectern had been placed.

“This is where I met Alec,” the woman explained. “And that’s where the governor held her speech.”

She even showed us the exact bench she and Uncle Alec had been seated on. For some reason, Odelia felt it important to inspect the bench, and even to look underneath. But since Uncle Alec was long gone, she didn’t find anything of note.

The next port of call was the canteen. This wasn’t the canteen where the students had their meals, but the one reserved for the school staff—the teachers and the principal and such. She showed us the coffee machine, and the type of cup that Uncle Alec had drunk from. She even showed us the exact place where they had stood while they talked about this and that.

Odelia and Chase checked around, but of Uncle Alec there was not a single sign. As they drifted back to the chief of police, Chase asked, “And then what happened?”

“Well, I returned to the hall, as I was in charge of security for the governor’s visit, and I left Alec here.”

“Was there anyone else here?” asked Odelia.

“No, it was just the two of us,” said the chief of police. “Mostly everyone was confined to the assembly hall, to listen to the governor’s speech. But since I’d heard her speech before, I wasn’t all that interested in hearing it again, and neither was your uncle, Mrs. Kingsley.”

“What do you make of this?” asked Chase, and held up his phone to show the policewoman the messages Uncle Alec had sent to his wife and that Charlene had forwarded.

The chief frowned as she read through the string of messages. Odelia had already shown them to us, and I had to admit they were quite disconcerting. Chase was convinced they hadn’t been written by the big man himself but by the person or persons unknown who were holding him, and Odelia was inclined to agree with that assessment.

I wasn’t too sure. After all, humans are often prey to strange emotions that can pop up out of the blue. And Uncle Alec does have a stressful job. Perhaps he had buckled under the pressure? Or maybe the governor had told him something that hadn’t sat well with him? Though as far as we knew, he had never actually exchanged words with the governor.

“Looks like he’s going through a crisis of some kind,” finally Chief Doyle said as she handed back the phone. “Have you tried to connect with him?”

“We have, but he’s not picking up his phone. And since he sent these messages, his phone has been turned off.”

She frowned and thought for a moment. “Have you managed to locate the signal?”

Chase nodded. “We traced it back to the phone mast here in Hampton Keys. Which tells me that he must still be in the area.”

“Maybe check the hotels?” the chief of police suggested. “If he’s here, he must be staying at a hotel—unless he has friends in the area?”

“Not to my knowledge,” said Chase. He shared a look with Odelia, who nodded. “But like I said, I don’t believe for one second that Alec actually wrote these messages. It simply doesn’t sound like the man I know.”

The chief smiled. “People sometimes surprise us, detective. Take my dad, for instance. All his life he worked for the same bank in the same job, as a bank teller. And then one day he suddenly took a gun to work and held up the bank that he had been working for all his life. Stole three million dollars and disappeared forever, never to be found. Left his family, betrayed his colleagues, stole money from his clients.”

“That’s awful,” said Odelia with feeling.

“It was a pretty shocking thing to happen to us. And the worst part was that we never saw it coming. He went to work as usual that morning. Packed his briefcase, kissed my mother goodbye, dropped me and my brother off at school and… went completely off the rails.”

“And he was never found, you say?”

“Never found. He must have been preparing for that moment for weeks, maybe months or even years. And we never noticed a thing. No one did. So allow me to say that your uncle’s sudden meltdown may have been a long time in the making.”

Odelia nodded thoughtfully. “I guess it’s always possible that he was fed up with his job. It is a stressful thing to be chief of police.”

“Tell me about it,” said Chief Doyle. “There have been times I was hanging on by a thread and felt like chucking it in. And Alec’s been in the job longer than I have. Stress accumulates, you know. Until the bow breaks. And that is probably what happened to him. A breakdown.”

Her words gave us all pause.

“Poor Uncle Alec,” said Dooley. “He must have been suffering in silence for so long and nobody knew.”

“Charlene must have known,” said Harriet. “She’s his wife. She lives with the man.”

“Didn’t you hear what the woman just said?” asked Brutus. “Her dad went to work one day and robbed the bank. And nobody had any idea what he was up to.”

“At least Uncle Alec didn’t rob a bank,” said Dooley. “Imagine if he had. Now that would be something, wouldn’t it? Though in his case, he would have robbed the police station.”

“How do you figure that?” asked Brutus.

“Well, the bank teller robbed the bank. So a police chief should rob the police station,” said Dooley, displaying once again his impeccable sense of common sense and logic.

“You can’t rob a police station, Dooley,” said Harriet. “Simply because there’s nothing to be robbed. They don’t keep any money in a police station, do they?”

Dooley thought about this for a moment, then nodded. “They have prisoners. So Uncle Alec could have robbed a couple of prisoners.”

Odd, I felt, since a prisoner had indeed been robbed. Terence Hill. Though, of course, that was purely a coincidence. And it hadn’t been Uncle Alec who had taken him but two different officers who didn’t even work for him.

“Okay, thanks, Chief Doyle,” said Chase finally as he shook the chief’s hand. “Looks like we’ll look at the different hotels in the area. Any tips for the best one to start with?”

“Check out The Lodge,” she suggested. “It’s not the best, but it’s popular and affordable. Exactly the type of place I see Alec ending up at if he was looking for a place to stay on short notice.”

We left the school building and watched Chief Doyle return inside. “What do you think about what she said?” asked Odelia. “About Uncle Alec having a breakdown, I mean?”

“I don’t buy it,” said Chase. “I work with Alec on a daily basis. If he was having trouble at work, I would have noticed, trust me.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t strike me as the type of person who would suddenly go off the rails,” she agreed. “Then again, maybe he hadn’t been feeling well for a long time, but was too embarrassed to talk about it and seek help?”

But Chase wasn’t having any of it. “I still contend that he’s been taken. I don’t know why, and I don’t know by who, but he didn’t disappear of his own accord. And he sure as heck did not write those messages,” he said emphatically.

CHAPTER 19

Clarice, Kingman, and Shanille found Marge at the library, always a good place to look for a librarian. After they had explained their predicament, a deep frown took up residence between the woman’s brows and she dug out her phone. After ascertaining that her mother wasn’t at the police station, she started taking them seriously. Her second call was to her daughter, and since Odelia seemed to share her concern for the fate of the two old ladies, Marge made up her mind.

“Okay, we need to find them,” she said. At which point she closed the library and headed out, the three cats hot on her tail.

“She sure knows how to take action,” said Shanille admiringly.

“She takes after her daughter,” Kingman said.

“Mothers don’t take after their daughters, Kingman,” said Shanille. “It’s the other way around.”

“And why not, pray tell?” said the large cat. “Dog owners take after their dogs, after all, so why not mothers after their daughters?”

He definitely had a point there, Clarice thought, though Shanille didn’t seem convinced. But then she was what Clarice would have called an intellectual, and they’re always hard to convince they might be mistaken about something.

“I can’t do this alone,” Marge said as she started heading in the direction of town. “And I know exactly who to ask.”

It wasn’t long before they had arrived back where they had started: the General Store. And it didn’t take Marge more than a few minutes to rope Wilbur into joining her quest to find her mother and Scarlett.

“Kidnapped?” asked the bearded shopkeeper. “Are you sure?”

“Chase believes that the cops that took her and Scarlett were fake cops,” Marge explained. “And that means they’ve been taken. Just like my brother has been taken.”

“Odd,” said Wilbur, but he didn’t dispute Marge’s version of events. “Okay, so let’s go and pick up Francis, shall we?”

Mostly, Clarice had gotten used to driving in the back of Marge’s red Peugeot when she joined the watch’s nocturnal escapades, but she had never been in Wilbur’s little van. It smelled of cabbage, which wasn’t surprising, as he used that van to supply his customers with a selection of his finest wares. Like the Hampton Cove Resort & Spa, for instance, and other local businesses. And so the three cats found themselves on the floor of the old white van as Wilbur traversed town in the direction of St. John’s Church, where they were meeting Father Reilly, the fourth member of the neighborhood watch. Once the priest had accepted the mission and joined the rescue team, they were on their way to find the missing pair.

“We can’t allow this to happen,” said Wilbur determinedly as he gripped the wheel and tried to stop the van from swerving too much across the road. He had a strange way of driving, Clarice felt. Almost as if he had never learned how to do it properly but simply got into the van and hoped that providence would direct his eye, hand, and foot. It probably did, as he was still alive after all these years. Fortune favors a fool. “I mean, what kind of world are we living in where members of the watch can simply be snatched up and locked up!”

“We have to save them,” Father Reilly emphasized. “Vesta doesn’t like being locked up.”

“Nobody likes to be locked up, Francis,” said Marge.

“No, I guess you’re probably right,” said the priest. “Though most definitely Vesta is one of those people. She will probably be wailing and railing and gnashing her dentures by now.”

“Woe the person who took her,” said Wilbur. “They probably wish they never did.”

“Let’s just focus on getting her back,” Marge suggested.

“What have you found out so far?” asked Francis.

“Well, I talked to Chase, and he believes that the cops that took them are not actual cops. So they were probably fake cops and used that as a guise to snatch them.”

“Where were they taken?”

“Right in front of Dick Bernstein’s place,” said Marge. “And the strange thing is that Dick was attacked and is at the hospital right now. So that’s where we’ll start our search. Because I have a feeling that this can’t be a coincidence.”

And so Wilbur steered the van in the direction of their local hospital, hoping to find Dick Bernstein conscious and coherent and able to tell them what happened to Vesta and Scarlett.

“I wish Max were here,” said Kingman wistfully. “He always knows what to do, doesn’t he? Whereas we are simply floundering.”

“We’re not floundering,” said Shanille. “We’re following a lead, and that lead is Dick Bernstein.”

“Some lead,” Kingman scoffed. “Dick isn’t exactly the most reliable source of information, is he? Or don’t you remember how he once worked in cahoots with a criminal gang? That man should be in jail right now, not wandering around free.”

“Who cares what kind of person Dick is?” Shanille said. “As long as he can provide us with the information we need, that’s the only thing that counts as far as I’m concerned.”

“Exactly,” Clarice agreed. Though she couldn’t help but share Kingman’s sentiment about Max being present. Somehow that big orange cat had a knack for solving mysteries. She didn’t know how he did it, but he always got some idea that irrevocably led him to the solution. But since Max wasn’t there, they’d have to figure this one out themselves. “I mean, how hard can it be, right? All we need is to put two and two together and find the answer.”

“Exactly,” said Shanille. “Whatever Max can do, we can, and probably a whole lot better.”

Somehow her words lacked the ring of true conviction, though.

At the hospital, it soon transpired that the powers that be wouldn’t let them see Dick Bernstein. Something about them not being relatives of the guy. And even after Marge explained that they were close friends of the man, they still wouldn’t let them in.

And so they convened in a corner of the reception area.

“I could say that I’m his priest,” Father Reilly suggested. “They wouldn’t deny a man to be read his last rites, would they?”

“And I could tell them I’m his supplier of booze,” said Wilbur. “And that I’m here to grant him his dying wish.”

“I could tell them I work for the hospital library and I’m offering him some reading material,” Marge suggested.

In the end, it was decided that they’d try the three different tacks and see which one worked. And since Clarice, Shanille, and Kingman were cats, they didn’t need an excuse but would simply team up with their respective humans and supply much-needed support.

They ventured deeper into the hospital, Marge in search of the library, Father Reilly of the chapel, and Wilbur of the restaurant. Which left Clarice to decide which human to join. After all, her own human was absent.

“You should go with Marge,” said Shanille. “Since I’ll go with Father Reilly and Kingman will go with Wilbur.”

She was right. “How are we going to make sure we’re not seen?” asked Kingman.

“Shanille can hide under Father Reilly’s cassock,” said Clarice. “And Kingman can hide in one of those food carts that they use to distribute the food in this place.”

“And what about you?” asked Kingman.

“I’ll hide in Marge’s book cart. It’s the only way we’ll be able to get where we need to be.”

Kingman nodded seriously and held up his paw. “Godspeed, my friends.”

Clarice placed her own paw on top of his, and so did Shanille. “Godspeed,” Shanille said.

“If all goes well, I’ll see you guys in Dick’s room,” said Clarice.

And so they each went on their separate ways. Marge picked up Shanille and for the time being hid her under her coat—until she could snag one of those handy library carts.

“Are you nice and snug?” whispered Marge.

“As snug as can be expected,” she whispered back.

When they finally located Scarlett, she hoped that her human would be proud of the things she had endured on her behalf. She wouldn’t do this for any old human, you know.

CHAPTER 20

The cops that were transporting Vesta and Scarlett seemed even more relieved that they had finally reached their destination than the two women they held prisoner. The fact that Vesta and Scarlett hadn’t stopped trying to convince the cops to let them go might have had something to do with that. Or the fact that they had managed to partially demolish the car. At some point, Vesta had the bright idea to try to escape through the trunk. All they had to do was somehow maneuver the seats so they could get into the trunk and get out that way. It might have worked, if their hands hadn’t been tied, and if that one cop didn’t have the annoying habit of pointing her huge gun at them.

The car pulled to a stop in an underground garage and the kidnappers got out. Moments later, the doors were yanked open, and Vesta and Scarlett were dragged from the vehicle.

“I vehemently protest to being treated this way,” said Vesta as she tried with all of her might to stop the fake cops from achieving their goal. She even went so far as to give the one that was tasked with escorting her to who knew where a vicious kick to the shin.

After cursing loudly and dancing in the same spot for a few moments, that big gun was taken out again and pointed at her face. “I don’t mind dying!” she ventured. “But I refuse to die without knowing what I’m dying for! So tell me who you are and I’ll happily eat a bullet!”

“God!” the fake cop groaned as she gingerly placed her leg back down and rubbed her painful shin. “Maybe we should let them go, Pete?”

“Don’t call me by my real name, you idiot,” her colleague hissed.

“Okay, that’s it,” Vesta declared. “I’m going on strike until you tell me exactly what this is all about!” And so she proceeded to lie down on her back on the dirty garage floor. “Scarlett!” she barked. “Lie down, will you?”

“But it’s going to ruin my dress,” Scarlett lamented. “I like this dress. I paid a small fortune for it.”

“Don’t mind about the dress. This is our lives we’re talking about here. Don’t you see? They’re going to kill us!”

“We’re not going to kill you,” said the ‘idiot.’

“Don’t tell them that, you moron!” said Pete.

“Well, we’re not, though, are we? I mean, I would never have signed up for this if I had known I was going to have to start killing little old ladies. This one could be my grandma.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m not an old lady!” said Vesta.

“You look like an old lady.”

“How old do you think I am?” she demanded.

“Um… ninety-five?”

“What! Are you kidding me!”

“Get up off the floor right now,” Pete demanded. “Or else, I’ll... I will...”

“You’ll do nothing,” said Vesta. “Isn’t that right, Pete?”

“Ooh!” the man cried in a burst of pure frustration. “See what you did, Nancy? Now they can’t be coerced!”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to use any names?”

“You made me!” he cried, and took out his own gun and waved it in his colleague’s face.

“Do I really have to get down on that filthy floor, Vesta?” asked Scarlett. “I’ll bet it’s full of oil and diesel from all the cars that pass here every day.”

“And I’m sure that’s not the case,” she assured her friend. “These days everyone drives a Tesla, don’t they? So no oil and no diesel. You could probably eat a meal off this floor.”

“If you say so,” said Scarlett dubiously, and carefully lay down on the concrete floor next to her friend. “Ooh, it’s quite nice here,” she said after a moment. “Peaceful, you know.”

The two cops didn’t seem to agree. “Get up!” Nancy demanded. “Get up now… please?”

“If you don’t come with us, there will be hell to pay for us,” her partner explained. “We may not be in the habit of murdering old ladies, but our bosses are. They wouldn’t mind blowing a perfectly round hole in the both of you.”

Somehow Vesta believed him. But still. She had her principles and didn’t feel like straying from them. “Then ask your bosses to come down here and talk to us,” she challenged him.

“You don’t want that,” said Nancy. “They’re not as nice and accommodating as we are.”

“And if you don’t do as they say, they might go after your families, too,” Pete added. “They know where you both live.”

“They might even target your cats,” said Nancy with a vicious smirk. “So how about you stop messing around and come with us?”

The thought of these miscreants hurting her cats was enough to make Vesta see red. And so she swiped at the leg of the closest cop and watched with satisfaction as he went down. Scarlett, who saw how successful her friend’s move was, tried the same thing, and so moments later both Pete and Nancy were on the floor, stretched out, and moaning a little as they had both hit their respective noggins against that unyielding floor.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” said Vesta, getting up again. “Let’s make a run for it, honey! Now!” she urged.

And so Scarlett also got to her feet with some effort, and both ladies raced in the direction of the exit. If they could make it there and alert someone—anyone—of their plight, they might be able to get away clean.

Unfortunately for them, suddenly a loud shot rang out behind them, and when a piece of concrete hit Vesta, she saw, wide-eyed, that a chunk of the pillar closest to her had been shot clean off.

“Next time it’s the back of your head!” a voice yelled.

When they both turned around, she saw that a third person had joined the two cops. It was a formidable woman of indeterminate age, with curly dark hair and a gun trained directly at Vesta and Scarlett. Like the others, she was wearing a police uniform.

“I’m not kidding!” the woman shouted. “Get back here—now!”

Somehow Vesta got the impression that she wouldn’t hesitate to do exactly as she said. And since she valued the integrity of her noggin, she decided to do as she was told.

“And to think I soiled my perfectly nice dress for nothing,” said Scarlett sulkily.

When they had joined the woman, she gave them a dirty look. “From now on you’ll behave. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Vesta. “What’s your name again?”

The woman didn’t even crack a smile. “Nice try, toots.”

Vesta shrugged. “So what’s this all about?”

“You’ll see soon enough. Now move!”

And so move they did, now with no less than three of those big-ass guns providing the necessary incentive.

They were forced to descend even deeper into the underground garage, if that was even possible, down a flight of concrete steps, and finally along a long corridor until they reached what she assumed was their destination.

“In there,” said the woman, gesturing towards a metal door with a tiny window that Pete had opened for them.

And as Vesta and Scarlett stepped into the room, great was her surprise to find Alec in there, shackled to the wall!

“Alec?” she asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” said her son.

“This is what happens when you don’t comply,” said the woman, who still hadn’t given them her name. Which for some reason irked her even more than the fact that she had shot at her. It was only polite to give a person your name when you met them for the first time, wasn’t it? And the fact that this woman hadn’t, told her that she wasn’t a nice person at all.

Though the fact that she shot at her might have told her that as well.

“I don’t understand,” said Alec, proving that Vesta wasn’t the only one who had a hard time following what was going on here.

“If you don’t do as we say, I will shoot your mother’s little friend with the fat lips.”

“Excuse me!” Scarlett cried. “My lips aren’t fat. They’re plump.”

“And if you still don’t comply, your mother gets it.”

“You don’t mean that, Suzette,” said Alec.

Vesta cracked a smile and turned to the woman. “So nice to make your acquaintance, Suzette. And so nice to finally put a name to the face.” She held out her hand.

The woman ignored her. “I absolutely mean that. First your mother’s little friend gets it, then your dear old mother, and then, if you still won’t do what we want—you.”

“Why does everyone keep calling me old?” Vesta complained. “How old do you think I am?” But when the woman gave her a dirty look, she added, “Okay, scratch that. I don’t think I want to know the answer.”

“Think about it, Alec,” said Suzette. “Either you do as you’re told, or your mother and her friend will die. And you don’t want to have that on your conscience, now do you?”

Alec took a moment to think about this, and Vesta goggled at him.

“Well, answer the question!” she demanded. “You don’t want me to die, do you?”

“I… guess not,” said Alec after another long moment’s pause.

“What kind of son are you, to want your own mother dead!” she cried.

Alec rolled his eyes. “If you could just tell me what it is you want me to do, Suzette.”

The woman flashed a nasty smile. “Nice try. Think hard, Alec. Use your brain.”

“I did. And I still have no idea!”

Her smile vanished, replaced by a cold look. “Then think harder. Or granny gets it!”

And with these words, the woman left the room, then slammed the door closed behind her.

CHAPTER 21

We had visited three hotels in the area and still found no sign of Uncle Alec. Worse, now everyone suddenly seemed convinced that Gran had also been taken, along with Scarlett. Apparently Marge was on the lookout for both women, having come up with a plan.

“Don’t you worry, honey,” Marge had told her daughter. “I’m going to find them.”

“And how will you do that?” asked Odelia.

“I’ve roped in Father Reilly and Wilbur, and Clarice is leading the charge. So we’ve got an ace team. Maybe not the A-team—that’s you and Chase—but definitely the B-team.”

Odelia had closed her eyes and said in a weary sort of voice, “Mom, be careful. If Gran was taken, that isn’t something you should try to handle yourself. You should go to the police.”

“But honey, how can I? Chase is with you, and Alec has gone missing. And also, Charlene is a mess right now. So looks like we have to take matters into our own hands. Make a citizen’s investigation, you know.”

“I think it’s called a citizen’s arrest, and like I said, just be careful.” After she hung up, she exchanged a look with her husband. “Things are falling apart,” she said.

“Then we’ll have to put them back together again,” he said, and that sounded pretty neat to me, I have to say.

“So are we the A-team?” asked Dooley.

“Looks like it,” I said.

“I’m sure that there is no such thing as an A-team and a B-team,” said Harriet. “I mean, we’re all on the same team, aren’t we?” Once upon a time, Harriet and Brutus had considered themselves the A-team, with me and Dooley the B-team, but those days seemed to be so far behind us that she didn’t even remember. Which is why I wisely kept my tongue.

“So am I part of the A-team?” asked Pup. He looked relieved about this fact. “I mean, I don’t mind to be on any team. I’m not teamist. But it’s nice to know I’m on the best team to find my human, you know.”

“You’re part of the best team Hampton Cove has ever seen,” Brutus assured him. “Not only the best cats but also the best humans.”

“Oh, goodie,” said Pup, quite relieved to hear it.

It’s always nice to know that you’ve chosen the right team to fight in your corner.

We had been sitting in the car up to that point, not really knowing what our next course of action should be, and that’s why I decided to offer a suggestion. “Can’t we get a more exact location of Uncle Alec’s phone? Like, down to the exact place where he’s being held?”

“Excellent idea, Max,” said Odelia, pointing a finger at me. “That’s what we will do.”

“What will we do?” asked Chase.

“We will ask Chief Doyle to provide us with more detailed information on Uncle Alec’s phone. That way we might be able to pinpoint his exact location. Or at least as exact as the data allows.”

And so moments later we were on our way back to the high school, where they hoped to find the chief still on the premises. Odelia had elected to leave her car behind and to hop into her husband’s more suitable vehicle. And I have to say it was an excellent choice as far as we were concerned. Chase drives one of the cars that belong to the police station carpool, and it’s a much nicer vehicle than Odelia’s decrepit old thing. Not that I have anything against old cars—just like Pup isn’t teamist, I’m not car ageist in any way—but like any cat, I enjoy my creature comforts, and being in the back of Chase’s car was definitely a step up.

It didn’t take Chase long to reach the school, and as he swung his pickup into a parking space right in front of the red-brick building, we saw that the chief was at that exact moment exiting the building, looking thoughtful. She was accompanied by two of her officers.

Chase and Odelia got out of the car and hailed the chief.

The woman seemed surprised to see them. “Still in town? I thought you two would have left by now.”

“We haven’t found my uncle,” Odelia explained. “So we wanted to ask a favor.”

But the chief held up her hands. “I’m sorry, but if Alec is suffering a nervous breakdown and wants to be left alone, who am I to impose on his privacy? And I have to say that I honestly feel you probably should do the same thing. Leave him be. He has earned that right.”

“Who’s missing?” asked one of the two cops.

“Alec Lip,” said the chief. “Hampton Cove’s chief of police.”

“I think I’ve heard of him,” said the cop. He turned to his colleague. “Remember there was that symposium last year, Nancy? Wasn’t Chief Lip one of the keynote speakers?”

“Yeah, I seem to remember he was, Pete,” said Nancy.

“Look, I respect your point of view,” said Chase. “I really do. But we feel that Alec may not have left under his own steam. We strongly believe that he may be the victim of an abduction. So can we please have access to the data you have on his phone?”

“I’m sorry,” said the chief. “No can do. Like I said, I believe in privacy, and this is exactly what I wouldn’t want happening to me if I were to find myself in a similar situation.” She started to walk away. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to the station.” But as she walked, she suddenly turned. “You know, I hate to say this, but I would advise you to return home now, detective. There’s nothing more you can do here, understood?”

As Chase stared after the woman, he muttered, “Did that sound like an order to you?”

“Yeah,” said Odelia. “Along the lines of ‘get out of my town or else.’”

“Weird.”

“Worrying.”

“Chief Doyle is very concerned about Uncle Alec’s privacy, isn’t she, Max?” asked Dooley. “I think that’s so nice of her.”

“I’m not sure if it’s nice or a polite way of telling us to buzz off,” I said.

“So what do you want to do?” asked Chase.

“We should probably have someone at the station access my uncle’s cell phone data,” said Odelia. “Clearly, Chief Doyle doesn’t want to, so we better handle it ourselves.”

“I’ll make the call,” said Chase, taking out his phone.

And so Odelia took a seat on the bench that had been placed in front of the school building. The architect who had been in charge of making the place look nice and welcoming, had placed a small fountain in the center of the courtyard, and as we enjoyed this unexpected and much-appreciated lull in the proceedings, all of a sudden I saw a ginormous rat staring at us from behind the fountain. It was looking intently at me, and then, just when I was about to alert my friends’ attention to the outsized rodent, it came running straight at me.

“Max?” it asked. “Is that you?”

It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming. But as the rat approached and took up position in front of me, its rather hideous features morphed into what could only be a smile.

“I knew it was you,” said the rat. “Fat and orange, the guy said. And you must be Dooley, Harriet, and Brutus,” it added as it addressed my friends. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, I’m sure. My name is Freddy, and I bring you tidings of great sorrow from a man named Uncle Alec.”

CHAPTER 22

Since Marge was the only one of the three who could actually communicate with cats, she was worried that the other two teams might run into trouble at some point. Then again, three teams were better than one, and by splitting up, they might have a better chance at success.

It didn’t take her long to find the hospital library, and when she introduced herself to the librarian, the woman’s face lit up with recognition. “Marge Poole! You are a legend among librarians, Mrs. Poole.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” she said modestly.

“No, but you are. I’m not actually a librarian, you see. I’m just a volunteer who helps out here a couple of times a week. But you’re a professional. The real deal.” The woman, who was thickset and exuded a whole and hearty vibe, eyed her excitedly. “You’re not here to volunteer yourself, are you? I can’t imagine you’d have the time, what with having to run the actual library.”

“I am here to volunteer. You see, a good friend of mine was recently admitted to the hospital, and I know he’s a big reader. So I figured I might as well surprise him by showing up with a cart full of books. That way, hopefully, his recovery will be that much swifter.”

“That’s so kind of you,” said the woman as she clasped her hands together. “So very thoughtful. Your friend is so lucky to have you fighting in his corner.”

“So…” Marge glanced at one of the library carts sitting in a corner of the small space. “You think I could borrow one of your carts and pay a visit to my friend? He’s not expecting me, but I just know he’ll be over the moon.”

“Absolutely,” said the woman wholeheartedly. “What is the name of your friend? Maybe I’ve already paid him a visit.”

“Dick Bernstein. I’m not sure what floor he is on, though…”

“Oh, I can help you with that,” the woman assured her. “What books does he like?”

“Um, thrillers mostly,” said Marge. She had absolutely no idea what books Dick actually did like. She didn’t even know if he liked reading. She had certainly never seen him at the library, so maybe he didn’t like to read at all. But that didn’t matter. All she needed to do was go talk to the man. And then, hopefully, he’d be able to shed some light on the disappearance of Marge’s mom and her friend.

Clarice had kept perfectly still, hiding inside her coat, but was now starting to wriggle. Lucky for them, the library volunteer was too busy on the phone with the front desk to notice. And so Marge took this opportunity to transfer the cat from her coat to the library cart, expertly hiding her behind a stack of books. “We’ll be out of here soon,” she whispered.

“I was suffocating in that coat of yours!” said Clarice, who was breathing a little hard, Marge now saw. “No air!”

“I’m sorry,” she said, and quickly placed more books on the cart, hiding Clarice from view. The library had a very small collection, but they still had plenty of thrillers, so she made sure she filled the cart with a nice selection.

She then straightened quickly when the volunteer joined her and handed her a small note. “Room 325,” she said. “That’s where you will find your thriller-loving friend.” Once again, she clasped her hands together, her face contorted into an expression of pure delight. “Ooh, this is so exciting! I wish I could see his face when you walk in!”

“I’m sure he’ll love it,” said Marge. “Thanks so much…”

“Marjorie,” said the woman. “And if you ever have too much time on your hands, you’re always welcome to join our modest little library. We can always use more volunteers.”

“Absolutely,” said Marge, and then was on her merry way, pushing the cart along. She wondered how the others were faring. Hopefully, they hadn’t been caught.

Shanille wasn’t used to this. Going on a secret mission with her human. She had to admit that Father Reilly was doing a pretty good job, though. They had arrived at the hospital chapel without a hitch, and as the priest searched for and located the chaplain, Shanille couldn’t help but wonder if this wouldn’t be a great job for her human. After all, the number of people attending mass had been dwindling considerably over the course of the last couple of years, and at the hospital there was always a ready flock of people needing the service a priest could provide, whether it was last rites, a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to talk to.

The chaplain was a thin-faced man with a prominent Adam’s apple and didn’t look all that interested in providing that shoulder to cry on. On the contrary. The moment he laid eyes on them, he seemed to wish they had never walked in at all.

“Yes, what do you want?” he asked in a sort of irascible tone. He might have been the officiator of a gas station instead of the person relied upon to provide succor and compassion in a person’s hour of need.

“My name is Father Reilly,” said Shanille’s human. “I’m the priest at St. John’s Church.”

“So?” said the young man, still not warming up to them in any meaningful way. He was leaning against one of the pews that had been set up in the small space.

“So I was thinking that I might lend a helping hand to ease the suffering and spiritual anguish of some of the members of your flock.”

The guy gave Father Reilly an ‘are-you-kidding-me’ look. But at least he didn’t seem opposed to the idea. “Be my guest,” he said. “There’s plenty of patients in this hospital who are on their last legs and could use a prayer or two.”

“That’s very kind of you,” said Father Reilly. “There’s one person in particular I’ve been meaning to pay a visit. He’s a close personal friend of mine. His name is Dick Bernstein. The problem is that I’m not sure what room he is in, so I was hoping you could point me in the right direction?”

The man cocked an eyebrow. “He’s a close personal friend, and you don’t know what room he’s in?”

“No, it would seem the hospital isn’t eager to divulge that information,” said the priest.

Shanille rolled her eyes. Father Reilly was entirely too honest for his own good. He shouldn’t have said that. But the guy didn’t seem to care one bit.

“I have access to the patient list on my computer,” he said. He got up with a sigh. “Follow me into my office.”

Shanille, who had been peeking out of the cassock Father Reilly was wearing, was relieved when he took her out and set her down. “Wait here,” he whispered. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Shanille had absolutely no intention of going anywhere. She hadn’t seen a lot of the hospital, but what she had seen had convinced her that it was a warren of corridors and too many floors where a cat could easily get lost and never be seen again. Or else she might be found and kicked out—or locked up by whoever was in charge of security here. She knew that hospitals took their hygiene requirements very seriously and probably looked askance at the presence of a cat on the premises. They might even… exterminate her!

And so she sat perfectly still underneath the pew Father Reilly had placed her. At that moment, the door to the chapel swung open and a little boy walked in. So she retreated even more into the shadows of the pew, making sure he wouldn’t spot her. As he took position on the pew, he heaved a little sigh, then folded his hands in prayer. “Dear God,” he said, “can you please help my daddy get better soon? He’s very sick, and the doctors are saying that he probably isn’t going to make it. So please, please, please do whatever you can to make my daddy well again? I’ll be a good boy from now on if you do.”

Shanille wiped away a tear. It was a touching moment. But when she opened her eyes again, she found herself looking straight into the little boy’s face.

“Hey, cat,” he said. “What are you doing down there?”

“Hi,” she said, and wondered if she should make a break for it now, or stay where she was.

“I didn’t know cats were allowed in here,” said the kid. Then he reached out and dragged her bodily from underneath the pew. He held her up and studied her intently. “You’re a sign, aren’t you? A sign that my daddy is going to be all right?”

“Sure thing,” she said. “That’s me, all right. A sign.”

“Or maybe you’re an angel,” he said, his face clearing. “Brought here to help my daddy get better.” He got up from the pew, still holding Shanille at arm’s length. “You know what? I’ll take you to see my daddy now. That way you can make him better.” And so he tucked her close to him, wrapping his arms around her so she couldn’t get away.

“Um… can you please let go?” she asked. “It’s just that… I’ve got a prior engagement that’s kind of urgent.”

Father Reilly would never forgive her if she went off with a different human. He was very attached to her, as much as she was attached to him—or perhaps even more.

“I’ll put you in my daddy’s bed,” the kid babbled, “and then you’re going to see what’s wrong with him, and you’re going to make him all better. I know you can do it, angel.”

He was en route to the exit and would have left if Shanille hadn’t uttered a loud screech of lament, hoping to draw the attention of her human.

It worked like a charm, for Father Reilly came running, followed by the chaplain. They both seemed surprised to see her in the arms of the little kid, the chaplain because he hadn’t been aware of the presence of a cat in his chapel, and Father Reilly because he had given her strict instructions to remain hidden at all times.

“A cat!” said the chaplain. “Well, I never!”

“It’s not a cat,” said the little boy. “It’s an angel. I prayed to God to make my daddy better, and he sent me this angel. I’m going to put her in my daddy’s bed so the angel can cure him.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna work, little buddy,” said the chaplain. “Because that’s not an angel. That’s a cat. And as we all know, cats are filthy animals that spread all kinds of diseases. You sure as heck don’t want him anywhere near your daddy. He’ll only get a lot sicker.”

He tried to take Shanille from the kid, but the boy wasn’t having it. He kept Shanille out of reach and now squeezed her so tight she feared he was going to turn her into mush.

And so she screeched some more, hoping that Father Reilly would take matters into his own hands and save her from this ordeal.

“I’ll call security,” said the chaplain as he hurried away to his office. “Grab that cat, will you, Father Reilly? And make sure it doesn’t escape. Probably a stray that got in somehow.”

“You better hand me that cat now, young man,” said the priest as he held out his hands. “She’s mine, you see. Her name is Shanille, and she doesn’t like to be held that tightly.”

The kid didn’t seem fully convinced. “But she’s an angel. My angel. Sent here to take care of my daddy.”

“Why don’t you tell me where I can find your daddy, and I will pay him a visit later?” Father Reilly suggested. “I’m a priest, you see, and I will pray for your daddy. How about that?”

The kid eyed him skeptically, but finally must have seen that there was some truth to what the priest was telling him. “You promise?” he asked.

“Absolutely. I’ll go and see your daddy, but first, I have to pay a visit to a friend who’s been in a terrible accident.”

“But what about my angel?” he asked. “I need her.”

“But I also need her,” said Father Reilly. “And she needs me.”

“I do need him,” said Shanille. Even though she would never have admitted it in front of her friends, it was a matter of fact that she did need her human.

“Okay, fine,” said the kid finally. “You can have her back. But only if you promise to bring her and make my daddy feel better again.”

“I promise,” said Father Reilly as he took Shanille from the little boy. “And now let’s get out of here before security shows up,” he said for Shanille’s sake.

And so he tucked her into his cassock again and hurried out of the chapel. And right on time, too, for as they turned the corner, Shanille could already see a couple of burly orderlies step out of the elevator and head in their direction.

Who knew that hospitals could be so dangerous!

CHAPTER 23

Wilbur had volunteered to go in search of the restaurant and offer to provide Dick with his favorite stiff drink. The problem was that Kingman wasn’t in the same range of size as Shanille or Clarice. Even after having spent so much time being pampered by Scarlett and having packed on the pounds, Clarice was still dwarfed by Kingman, who was possibly the biggest cat in all of Hampton Cove. And since Wilbur was a scrawny fellow, he couldn’t possibly hide Kingman by tucking him into his jacket like the others had done.

Good thing Wilbur was a resourceful person. Being a small business owner and forced to be creative to make a living had that effect on a man. And so he’d simply grabbed a wheelchair from the entrance, placed Kingman on top of it, wrapped a nice pair of blue scrubs around him, and now wheeled him through the hospital.

Kingman wasn’t sure how long the ruse would work, since even though only his face was visible, last time he checked, he didn’t exactly look like a human being. And they had almost reached the restaurant when a little old lady walked up to them, a big smile on her face.

“Ooh, there you are,” she said as she approached them. “I thought I’d lost you, Hector.”

“Um… my name is Wilbur,” said Wilbur.

“That’s right. And I see that Auntie Mabel is still looking as fine as ever. Where are you taking her today, Hector?”

“I’m afraid you’re mistaking us for someone else, ma’am.”

The woman seemed a little hard of hearing, for she screwed up her face as she studied Wilbur intently.

“Can you repeat that, Hector? Sounded like you said she’s seeing Doctor Peltz?”

“We’re not seeing Doctor Peltz!” said Wilbur. “We’re paying a visit to a friend!”

“Doctor Peltz the rheumatologist? So Mabel’s still suffering from those achy joints, is she? It’s a terrible nuisance. My joints are also quite painful, especially when the weather turns.”

She leaned in and brought her face inches away from Kingman.

“You don’t look so hot, Mabel. And what’s all that hair on your face? It’s growing out of your ears, too!” She looked up at Wilbur. “You should go and see a dermatologist, Hector. Auntie Mabel’s face is all wrong. Something happened to her skin. It’s sprouting hair!”

“Thanks so much,” Wilbur muttered as he bypassed the woman and headed into the restaurant.

“I hope it’s not contagious!” the woman yelled after them.

Kingman gulped. Talk about a close call!

They had entered the restaurant, and Wilbur went in search of the person responsible for the booze. Did they even serve booze in a hospital? Kingman wasn’t entirely convinced they did. Wasn’t the purpose of a hospital to make people feel better? Then again, a lot of people swore by a stiff drink to make them feel good, so maybe Wilbur was on to something.

They had parked the wheelchair in a corner of the restaurant while Wilbur went in search of the person in charge. From his vantage point, seated in the wheelchair, Kingman saw a bunch of people enter the restaurant. They all ignored him, which was all to the good, as he probably wouldn’t stand a chance if they subjected him to closer scrutiny. Whatever his qualities, he wasn’t exactly fit to pass as a human being.

As more and more people entered, looking for a bite to eat, he was starting to get really nervous. Where the heck was Wilbur? What was taking that man so long?

The problem was that the scrubs his human had draped over him were starting to slip, and he was having a hard time keeping them in place. Plus, he was feeling restless. He didn’t like being in the same position for too long, and he’d been sitting upright now for going on ten minutes. Time to change position. Only if he did, he’d probably be found out in seconds.

Couldn’t Wilbur have put him somewhere a little more inconspicuous than right next to the entrance?

As he sat there, starting to get more and more worked up, that same little old lady was back. This time she made a beeline for him.

“Oh, Auntie Mabel, Hector’s gone and left you alone now, has he? Trust that man to desert you in your hour of need! Here, let me take you back to your room.”

With no further ado, she started wheeling him away!

Yikes! He glanced around desperately for a sign of Wilbur, but that man was nowhere to be seen! For all he knew, he was enjoying that stiff tipple himself by now and had forgotten all about Kingman’s predicament!

“Hector is a fine man,” said the woman, “but a waste of space when it comes to taking care of people. Where did you say your room was again? I forget.”

Once again, she brought her face within inches of his and seemed to expect him to say something in response.

“Um…” he muttered. “Can’t you just leave me, please?”

“I didn’t hear you, dear,” said the woman. “Speak louder, will you? You might not remember this, but I’m a little hard of hearing.”

“Just leave me here!” he said, hoping for a miracle at this point.

“Huh,” said the woman. “You really should have that face of yours looked at. You look like a cat!” She laughed loudly at this, as if it was the biggest joke in the world, then started rolling Kingman onward again. “I’ll find your room for you, don’t you worry,” said the woman.

And she headed straight for a nearby nurse’s station!

“Nurse!” she said. “My Auntie Mabel here seems to have lost her way. You couldn’t tell me what room she is in, could you?”

The nurse stared at Kingman as if he were the most hideous monster she had ever seen, and then uttered a blood-curdling scream.

Oh, dear. Looked like it was time for him to skedaddle!

And so he jumped out of the wheelchair and made a run for it, shedding the pair of scrubs as he did. Unfortunately for him, the shirt was still attached to his person, and so it sailed after him, making him look like a caped crusader.

When he looked back, he saw that the nurse must have called in reinforcements, for a bunch of people dressed in white were chasing him now. And they didn’t look all that cat-friendly to him!

CHAPTER 24

If Vesta was glad to see her son, the same couldn’t be said about him. As she had surmised from his reaction to this Suzette woman’s threats, he wasn’t pleased to see her at all.

“So you got yourself nabbed too, huh?” he said somberly.

“I was wondering what you were doing here,” she said as she took a seat at the table. “Did this woman Suzette kidnap you? Is that what happened?”

“She did, and now she wants me to do something for her. Beats me what that’s all about.”

“What does she want you to do, Alec?” asked Scarlett.

Alec gave her a look of despair. “I don’t know!”

“You must have some clue,” said Vesta.

“Yes, think, Alec,” said Scarlett. “Think!”

“God,” said Alec as he hung his head.

He didn’t look happy, she thought, which was probably understandable. But he also looked downcast, and that wasn’t like the Alec she knew. And so she walked over to where he was sitting on the floor and gave him a light slap on the back. “Get your act together, son.”

He stared at her. “Did you just hit me?”

“You need to buck up. Don’t let this Suzette person get under your skin.”

“Yes, we need to fight back,” said Scarlett as she pursed her plump lips defiantly.

Alec groaned and continued to look glum. In fact, he looked more like that police chief from Stranger Things now than her own jolly son. Though, truth be told, Alec had never really done jolly. Even when he’d been asked to play Santa Claus that one time at their local mall, they had fired him after one day, claiming he scared the kids.

“We need to get out of here,” said Vesta. “Overpower this horrible woman that dresses like a cop.”

“That’s because she is a cop,” said Alec.

“Suzette is a cop?”

“She sure is. Chief of police of Hampton Keys. Which is why this is all so confusing.”

“That is confusing,” said Vesta. Though it explained why Pete and Nancy had behaved more like gangsters than cops. “So how are you going to get us out of here, Alec?”

“Yes, what’s the plan?” asked Scarlett.

They both stared expectantly at the police chief, but he didn’t seem as eager as they were to try to execute their escape. “Nobody knows that you were taken?” he asked.

“No, they sent two fake cops to bring us in,” said Vesta. “Or at least I thought they were fake.”

“They pointed a gun at us,” said Scarlett.

“And Suzette fired a gun at us,” said Vesta.

“If only I knew what this is all about,” said Alec.

“You need to flex that brain muscle of yours,” said Vesta.

“The brain isn’t a muscle, Vesta,” said Scarlett. “It’s an organ.”

“Whatever it is, Alec needs to make it work harder than ever.”

Her son furrowed his brow, but since he’d always been a spent force in the brains department, and never more than now, she honestly couldn’t see it leading anywhere anytime soon. If there was thinking to be done, it was up to her and Scarlett.

And so she set about pacing the small room, trying to figure out why one chief of police would take another chief of police prisoner and then add his sweet old mother to the mix.

Suddenly, she turned to her son and pointed a finger at him. “She wants to get rid of you.”

“I’d say that’s a given,” said Alec. “But why? What does she hope to gain by doing that?”

“Okay, so she wants you gone,” she said musingly. “To do… what, exactly? Maybe she has a son that she wants promoted to the position of chief of police, and you need to retire first?”

“As far as I know, there is no one on the Hampton Cove force related to Suzette Doyle.”

“Then maybe… there’s something she wants to accomplish? Something… criminal?”

Alec frowned and rubbed his chin with the one hand that wasn’t shackled to the wall. “You know… I did get this weird proposal the other day. A local gang of some kind tried to bribe me. I didn’t even respond. And I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with this kidnapping business.”

“What local gang?”

“No idea. They didn’t exactly walk into my office and sit down for a meeting. It was all hush-hush. A series of messages on my phone. Something along the lines of a big payday for me and my family if I turned a blind eye to something or other. It was all very mysterious.”

“Maybe that’s it? They wanted you to turn a blind eye to whatever criminal activities they’re pursuing, only you said no, and now they’ve taken things to the next level? A do-what-we-tell-you-or-else kind of thing?”

“It’s possible,” he said. “But is it likely? I mean, this is the chief of police we’re talking about. Would she be in bed with a gang and put pressure on a colleague to do the same?”

“Absolutely!” said Vesta. “Oh, Alec, you’re so naive sometimes. Of course there are corrupt cops in this world, and of course they want you to become one of them.”

“Mh,” he said, not convinced. “I don’t see it. I mean, what are they going to do if I say no?”

Vesta rolled her eyes. “What do you think they’ll do? Kill us all and dump our bodies, of course. And then replace you with a police chief who’s more amenable to their plans.”

Alec gulped, and so did Scarlett.

“You… you better do as you’re told, Alec,” said Scarlett. “I don’t want to die just yet. I mean, I just had my lips done and they’ve never looked better.” She patted her chest. “And I’m getting a boob job next. This body isn’t ready to be dumped. I still have so many plans.”

“You think I want to be killed?” he grunted. “Charlene must be worried sick right now.”

“Oh, is that all you can think about?” Vesta cried as she threw up her arms. “Charlene, Charlene, Charlene. Think about your dear old mother and her closest friend. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“That’s not fair, Vesta,” said Scarlett. “After all, Alec didn’t kidnap himself. It was that corrupt policewoman who did.”

“Look, we need to work out some kind of plan of action,” she said. “To get us out of here without getting shot or stabbed or whatever these gangsters got in mind for us.”

“I told a rat to go look for Max,” said Alec.

She stared at her son. “You did what?”

He shrugged. “A long shot, I know.”

A pensive look stole over her face. “No, that’s actually good. Rats are clever creatures. It just might have taken the bait. And if it did, it might be talking to Max as we speak.”

“I doubt it,” said Scarlett. “Rats aren’t reliable, Vesta. Not like cats or dogs. They’re not honorable. It probably listened to Alec and immediately dismissed him.”

“Yeah, that’s the impression I got,” said Alec. “It gave me that look, you know. That ratty look. Full of contempt.”

“And how would you know how a rat feels about you?” she demanded. “You can’t even recognize pure evil when it stares you in the face, like with Suzette, the utterly corrupt and contemptible chief of police. Give me a real rat every time over that despicable woman.”

A hush had suddenly descended over her audience, and when she turned around, she found herself staring at the chief of police in question.

“Go on,” said the woman, her beefy arms folded over her ample chest as her eyebrows wiggled dangerously. “Anything else you’d like to call me, old lady?”

She bridled. “I’ll have you know I’m not as old as you might think,” she said, crossing her own slightly less beefy arms over her admittedly rather flat chest.

The woman decided to ignore her. “So have you finally come to your senses, Chief Lip?” she asked. “Are you ready to play ball?”

“It’s those cryptic messages I got, isn’t it?” said Alec. “About this business opportunity I should look at? Turn a blind eye to some new type of criminal endeavor?”

She smiled. “I knew you’d get there in the end. So what do you say? It’s a fair offer. Nice big bonus in exchange for doing exactly nothing. Except maybe offer up some information from time to time on what the police are up to.”

“What criminal endeavor is this?” asked Scarlett.

The woman gave her a dirty look. “None of your business,” she said curtly. “This is between me and Chief Lip.” She nodded to one of her henchmen, who stepped forward and removed the handcuffs from Vesta’s son, then helped him to his feet. “You and I are going to have ourselves a good old-fashioned negotiation,” said Chief Doyle. “And if all goes well, I’ve got some good news for you,” she said, turning to Vesta. “You’ll get to walk out of here alive! Ain’t that just swell?”

“It would be even sweller if you had never locked us up in the first place,” said Vesta. “Then I wouldn’t be forced to take you down and throw your ass in the slammer.”

Fighting words, but the woman didn’t seem to take them to heart at all. Instead, she laughed so much her entire body shook. “Feisty one, isn’t she? Let’s go, Lip. Let’s talk shop.”

And with these words, Alec was escorted out, the door slammed shut once again.

CHAPTER 25

Istared at the rat and the rat stared at me. It was one of those old-fashioned stand-offs, but without the guns trained on the other person. And the cowboy hats, of course, or the tumbleweeds rolling by in the middle distance.

“Okay, so you’re telling me that Uncle Alec sent you here with a message for me?” I asked, deciding for once not to take umbrage over being called a ‘fat red cat.’ Truth be told, I probably am more robust than I should be. Can I help it that I like to eat so much? And also, big bones run in my family, so there’s that to take into account.

“Max isn’t red, rat,” said Dooley. “He’s blorange!”

“Whatever,” said the rat. “I know where this uncle of yours is being held, so if you want to see him again, you better follow me. And if you don’t…” He shrugged. “No skin off my nose. It’s just another human that bites the dust.”

“No, we’ll follow you,” I said quickly. I turned to Odelia. “This rat knows where Uncle Alec is being held. He saw him. Actually laid eyes on him.”

“So he’s alive?” said Odelia. “Oh, thank God!”

“Of course he’s alive,” said Brutus. “Uncle Alec is one of those men that are very hard to kill. Made of tungsten steel.”

“Is Uncle Alec made of tungsten steel?” asked Dooley. “I didn’t know that.”

“He’s not actually made of steel,” I said.

“Are you sure?” asked Dooley with a look of concern. “Imagine his face paint starts peeling and Charlene suddenly finds herself staring across the breakfast table at a robot. I don’t think she would like it. She married a man, not a robot.”

“Uncle Alec is not a robot,” Odelia said with a smile.

“What’s going on?” asked Chase.

“This rat will lead us to Uncle Alec,” she said. “He’s seen him with his own two eyes.”

“Okay, when you’re all done chatting like a couple of old ladies, maybe we can get going?” said the rat, getting a little impatient. “I’ve got other things to do, you know.”

“Lead the way, rat,” I said.

“The name is Freddy,” said the rat.

“Great to meet you, Freddy,” I said.

And so a small procession proceeded to follow Freddy as he led us to where hopefully we would be reunited with Odelia’s uncle.

“Where are they holding him?” I asked.

“And who is holding him?” asked Harriet.

“Are they carrying weapons?” asked Brutus.

“Does tungsten steel rust?” asked Dooley.

“What’s with all the questions?” cried the rat. “What is this, sixty minutes? One question at a time, please. You go first,” he said, pointing at me.

“Where are they holding Uncle Alec?” I asked.

“Next to my home, which isn’t ideal. Then again, I’m used to sharing, so I make do.”

“Where is your home?” was my next question.

“The high school. It’s got plenty of corridors and hidden spaces in the basement and the parking garage. Perfect for a big family like mine. And also, those high school kids like to eat, so there’s plenty of food to go around. Though lately the janitor has been starting to put down rat traps. Not sure what’s up with that. Good thing we’re too clever to fall for that crap.”

“He’s being held at the Park Lane High School,” I told Odelia.

“Makes sense,” she said, nodding. “They probably grabbed him there, and to then move him to a different location would have attracted unwanted attention. Better to stay on site.”

“Do they have armed guards watching him?” asked Brutus.

“Yeah, they’ve got a fair few fellas that look as if they mean business,” said Freddy. “They’re all dressed like cops, and they’ve got weapons and are not afraid to use them. Can you believe they took a potshot at me a couple of days ago? Imagine that! Crazy humans.”

“Is my human also there?” asked Pup now. “Darlene Hill? She’s slim and very pretty and very nice.”

“Nah, I haven’t seen any prisoners that looked like that,” said Freddy. “I have seen a dame, but she was big and busty and not very nice at all. She’s the one that took a shot at me.”

“Big and busty and dressed like a cop?” I asked.

“That’s the one. And not sound on rats. Not sound at all!”

I turned to Odelia. “Looks like Chief Doyle is the one that took Uncle Alec.”

“Christ,” said Odelia. “But why? I don’t get it.”

“What is it?” asked Chase.

“Chief Doyle is the one that took Uncle Alec.”

Chase wasn’t exactly surprised. “That’s why she was trying to get rid of us. She didn’t want us finding out what she was up to. Though beats me what she wants with Alec.”

“Do you think she also took Terence Hill?”

“Possibly,” said Chase. “This case stinks, babe.”

Freddy stuck his nose in the air and sniffed. “I don’t smell nothing. And I’ve got a perfect sense of smell. I can smell a rotting corpse half a mile away. And stinky cheese even further.”

I shivered. Rotting corpses were not my specialty. As long as it wasn’t Uncle Alec’s, that was fine with me, though.

Instead of taking us in through the main entrance of the school, Freddy had us traipse around the back of the building, then pointed to a small window that according to him led straight down into the basement. One of the panes was broken, perfect for your enterprising rat. “Usually that’s how I come and go, though there’s other ways in and out, but I doubt you guys will fit.” He gave me an appraising look. “Especially you, Max. Way too fat.” With these words, he traipsed up to the window.

Chase tried to jimmy the window, and announced, “Doesn’t seem to be locked.”

“Of course it’s not locked,” said Freddy. “This is a school. Nobody is trying to break in. I mean, what’s worth stealing at a school, right? Desperate teenage sweat?”

“I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff worth stealing,” I said. “Like computers, probably, and maybe lab equipment.”

“Nah, that stuff is all behind lock and key,” said Freddy, who really did seem to know his way around the place. “Okay, let’s go!”

Before our very eyes, he quickly slipped through the window and disappeared from view.

“Who wants to go first?” asked Odelia.

“We could go in through the main entrance,” Chase suggested. “We don’t have to go creeping around like a couple of burglars.”

“I just want to find my uncle as soon as possible,” said Odelia.

But Chase wasn’t of the same idea. “Half the Hampton Keys police force could be down there,” he said. “That’s a lot of manpower, not to mention guns. If we go in there now, we’ll be outnumbered and outgunned. Why don’t I call in backup?”

She had to concede this was probably a good idea. “Maybe the cats can go and check out the place,” she suggested. “That way we won’t be calling in backup for nothing.” She quirked an eyebrow. “I mean, we’re dealing with a rat. He might be playing us all for fools.”

Chase smiled. “Great thinking, babe.” He turned to us. “Okay, you guys. You’ve got your orders. Check to see if Alec is down there. And if he is, we’ll come and bust him out.”

“Be careful,” Odelia added. “The moment you see any danger, you get back here, all right?”

“Absolutely,” I said. I’ve never been one to court danger just for the heck of it. Thrill seekers, I believe these people are called. Chasing gangsters during the week and jumping out of airplanes during the weekend. Not me. That’s not me at all!

But to take a stroll in the school basement to see if Uncle Alec was indeed on the premises like Freddy claimed?

That sounded like the kind of job we excelled at.

CHAPTER 26

As Marge steered the library cart to the room where presumably Dick was located, she was pleasantly surprised when she almost bumped into Father Reilly, who was carrying Shanille inside his cassock and was also en route to the same room.

“I managed,” the priest revealed, looking quite pleased with himself.

“A little boy almost caught me, though,” said Shanille from the confines of the priest’s cassock. Her head peered out, and she looked a little stuffy in there.

“Get on the cart,” she said. “There’s plenty of space next to Clarice.”

“Yeah, get on board, sister,” said Clarice. “Much better than being smothered to death.”

Father Reilly glanced around to see if anyone was looking, then transferred Shanille from his bosom to the library cart.

“Phew! Much better!” Shanille said.

“Did you almost get caught?” asked Clarice.

“Yeah, a little boy thought I was an angel come down from heaven in answer to his prayers. We had to promise him to drop in on his daddy, who’s sick.”

“Everybody’s sick in here,” said Clarice. “It’s a bad place to be, if you ask me.”

Clearly the cats weren’t keen on hospitals, Marge thought. But then who was?

“Have you seen Wilbur?” asked Francis.

“No, haven’t seen him,” said Marge. “Want me to give him a call?”

“No, better not disturb him,” said Francis as he held up a hand. “If he’s busy negotiating safe passage to Dick’s room, we don’t want to distract him or get him into trouble.”

Just then, there was some kind of commotion further down the corridor, and when they looked over, she saw that a large cat was racing in their direction, followed by a small posse of nurses, security personnel, and others.

When she looked closer, she saw that it was Kingman!

“Help!” the big cat screamed. “Help meeeeee!”

“Oh, Kingman, no,” she said.

As he drew closer, she quickly stood in front of her library cart, then grabbed Kingman as he passed them by and deposited him where Clarice and Shanille were seated. By the time the posse chasing him were upon them, and they asked if they had seen an absurdly large cat, she shook her head and acted as innocently as she could, while standing in front of the cart and hiding it from view.

“It went that way,” said Francis as he pointed further down the passageway. “A big tabby cat, wasn’t it?”

“A menace,” said an old lady. “It was pretending to be my Aunt Mabel and all! It even looked like her, though with more facial hair. Not a lot more, but in all the wrong places.”

The troupe went in the direction Francis had directed them, and finally peace returned.

“They almost caught me!” said Kingman.

“What happened?” asked Marge.

“Wilbur left to go talk to the person in charge of the booze, and parked me at the entrance to the restaurant. And then of course I was found out by that old lady you just saw. And then a nurse called security and they all started chasing me.” He was breathing rather stertorously. “I never saw so much action in years!” he said, perhaps exaggerating a little.

“Well, we’re almost there now,” said Marge. “So let’s just get this over with, shall we? And then we can get out of here.”

“Not a moment too soon!” Kingman said, still breathing hard. “Feel my heart,” he said, placing Clarice’s paw on his chest. He should not have done that, for she yanked her paw away and gave him a dirty look.

“Unwanted advances, Kingman? Really? I could sue you for that, you know.”

“I’m sorry, all right! It just hasn’t been my day so far.”

Good thing their mission was almost over, Marge thought. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like for her daughter, who got involved in these adventures all the time. She paused in front of a hospital door. “This is it, right?”

“Yeah, this is it,” Francis confirmed. He shared a look with Marge. “Shall we go in?”

“Please,” she said, and as he opened the door, rolled her library cart into the room. As luck would have it, it was just Dick in there, occupying the room all by himself, and there wasn’t even a nurse or a doctor with him.

When they walked in, he looked up, and the look of surprise on his face was followed almost instantly by a smile. “Marge! Francis! What a surprise!”

“We bring you some reading material,” said Marge, pointing to the cart of books.

“And some spiritual succor,” said Francis.

“Well, I could sure do with both of those,” he said warmly.

His head was wrapped up tightly in a series of bandages, making him look like a mummy, but apart from that, he didn’t seem to have suffered any adverse effects from the attack.

“Can you tell us who did this to you?” asked Marge, knowing they didn’t have a lot of time before a member of the hospital staff walked in and interrupted them.

“I never saw their face,” said Dick. “But I didn’t need to. I know who did this to me.”

“Who?” asked Marge as she selected a book from the cart and placed it on the side table.

“One of my neighbors, of course,” said Dick. “I don’t know which one, but it must have been either Bud or Grover.”

“And why is that?” asked Francis, interested.

“Oh, where do I begin? Grover seems to have gotten it into his nut that I’ve got a thing for his wife and that I want to hop into bed with her.”

“And do you? Want to hop into bed with the wife of your neighbor?” asked Francis. A note of censure had crept into his demeanor, and it wasn’t lost on Dick.

“Of course not! I like Joann, sure, but that’s as far as it goes.”

“And what about this… Bud?” asked Marge.

“Same thing. He thinks I’m in love with his wife Flicka. While nothing could be further from the truth.”

Marge experienced a sinking feeling. “So this whole business is about some common jealousy between neighbors?”

“That’s what it boils down to, yeah,” said Dick.

“What about Vesta and Scarlett?” asked Francis.

“What about them?”

“Well, they found you, didn’t they?”

“They did? I had no idea.”

“They found you and then they disappeared.”

“They didn’t disappear,” said Marge. “They were arrested by two fake cops. So they were probably kidnapped. Same way my brother was kidnapped.”

“And same way your other neighbor Terence Hill was kidnapped,” said Francis.

Dick’s eyes had been ping-ponging between his two visitors while they gave him the lowdown on what had transpired since that morning, but he looked so surprised that Marge couldn’t imagine he had any information to share. Which disappointed her a great deal. All of this subterfuge—and all for nothing? It didn’t seem fair.

“Terence has been taken?” asked Dick.

“He has,” Marge confirmed. “First his wife disappeared, and now he has been kidnapped.” At least she thought he had been kidnapped. As far as she understood from Odelia’s explanation, no ransom demands had been made, but it sure looked as if the cops that had grabbed Terence weren’t real cops. Same as with her mother and Scarlett—and maybe Alec, too.

A lot of people were being kidnapped, and they still didn’t have any idea why or who was behind this dreadful business.

“Well, I know that the police think that Terence murdered his wife, but that can’t be true,” said Dick.

“And why is that?”

“Because I saw her take off with Bud from across the street.”

Marge blinked. Now this was news. “Darlene Hill took off with your neighbor Bud?”

“Sure. Late at night a couple of days ago. I was already in bed when I heard the sound of a car engine. So I turned off the light and crept up to the window—as one does. And that’s when I saw it: Darlene getting into Bud’s car and the two of them taking off together.”

“You should have told the police,” said Marge.

Dick rolled his eyes. “You know what the police are like. They would have asked me to come down to the station and spend two hours giving a statement. And besides, do you think I want Bud to know that I saw him and Darlene? You don’t know these people like I do. The less you get involved with their business, the better.” He gestured to his bandaged head. “If Bud did this because he thought I was having an affair with Flicka, what do you think he’d do if he knew that I knew that he was having an affair with Darlene?”

“Strange neighborhood you live in,” said Marge.

“And don’t I know it!”

“Maybe you should move,” said Francis. “Sounds like your neighbors aren’t the kind of people to be trifled with.”

“But why should I move, though? I lived there first. It’s them that should move if they don’t like me.”

“That makes a lot of sense,” said Clarice. “I once lived in the same forest as a flock of wild boar. They kept bothering me, and some would have said I should have moved. But I ask you, why should I move if they don’t like me? It’s them that should have moved—not me.”

“Wild boar?” asked Kingman. “For real?”

“Eventually they did move,” said Clarice. “So if Dick wants a piece of advice, he should simply hold out, and make his neighbors’ lives as difficult as possible.”

It was a piece of advice Marge didn’t feel compelled to offer to Dick. Instead, she asked, “So no idea who the cops were that took my mother and Scarlett?”

“No idea,” said Dick. “I was passed out at the time, remember? So whatever happened around me, I have no recollection at all.”

“We thought maybe someone told you,” said Francis. “Like one of your neighbors who came to visit you, perhaps.”

Dick laughed a hacking laugh at this. “None of my neighbors has so far expressed any concern or paid me a visit—none. That tells you exactly what you need to know about what kind of people they are. Rotten to the core, that’s what. Dark hearts through and through.”

It seemed a little harsh, Marge thought. After all, she and the Trappers next door didn’t always get along either, and had had their run-ins from time to time. But she would never call them rotten to the core. It just showed how bad the atmosphere in Dick’s neighborhood was.

Just then the door to the room swung open and a man dressed in white scrubs appeared. He seemed surprised by the small congregation. But Marge pointed to her library cart and said, “I was only bringing Mr. Bernstein some reading material, doctor.”

“And I was offering him some prayers,” said Francis as he folded his hands and gave the doctor a beatific smile.

The doctor nodded and seemed relieved. “The police should probably put an officer out in front,” he said. “As long as Mr. Bernstein’s assailant hasn’t been caught, that is.”

“I’m sure he’ll be caught soon,” said Dick as he gave Marge a meaningful look.

Bud Spencer or Grover Hopegood. They had two names for possible suspects in the assault. They weren’t any closer to finding Ma or Scarlett, but at least their visit hadn’t been in vain.

CHAPTER 27

“Ihope we find my human,” said Pup. “I really do. She’s so nice. I really miss her, you know.”

“Yes, we know, Pup,” said Harriet.

For the last five minutes, Pup had been repeating the same mantra, and frankly, we had heard enough. Especially since the four of us were feeling the pressure: we had to find Uncle Alec and ascertain the conditions under which he was being held so the rescue team could do their job.

“I don’t have a human,” said Freddy. “And that’s the way I like it. I mean, what good has having a human ever done to anyone? Not a trick question,” he assured us. “I really wanna know.”

“Well, our humans provide us with food and fresh water,” said Brutus, accepting the challenge. “They clean out our litter box and offer us a roof over our heads.”

“And cuddles,” said Dooley. “Don’t forget about the cuddles, Brutus.” He smiled. “I like to sleep at the foot of Gran’s bed and then snuggle up to her in the middle of the night. She doesn’t always like that, though. At least I don’t think so. She often says, ‘Dooley, get lost!’ when I do that.”

Harriet laughed. “Yeah, that would definitely tell me she doesn’t like it. Humans need their eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you wake them up, they’re off their cycle. Or something. Marge once explained it to me, but it all sounded extremely complicated.”

“The sleep cycle, you mean?” asked Pup. “It’s very important. Darlene always makes sure she’s in bed before midnight, as otherwise she can’t get to her deepest cycle. And for some reason it’s very important that she gets to that deep cycle.”

We all turned to Dooley. As the cat who loves to watch the Discovery Channel, he often is in possession of these obscure little information nuggets. “I haven’t seen the documentary on the sleep cycle yet,” he informed us. “So I wouldn’t know what it consists of, exactly. All I know is that it’s got something to do with alpha waves and also beta waves.”

“Odd,” said Brutus. “I’m an alpha, and this is the first I’m hearing of these waves.”

“I believe this alpha is a different alpha, sparky star,” said Harriet with a smile.

“Okay, so seems to me that living with a human isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be,” said Freddy. “Exactly what I thought.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

He gestured to Dooley. “His human calls him names in the middle of the night, simply because he wants to show her his affection. And his human,” he added, pointing to Pup, “has an obsession with her alpha waves. Not very appealing, you guys! Not appealing at all.”

“You ignore the stuff I told you about our food bowls always being filled,” said Brutus. “Or our water bowls.”

“Who needs a food bowl filled with junk!” Freddy cried. “Don’t think I haven’t seen the kind of stuff they make you guys eat. The janitor has a cat, and when I smell the stuff in her bowl, I want to throw up. It’s freeze-dried junk! Give me a fresh pile of garbage every time.”

Now it was my turn to almost throw up. “You eat garbage?” I asked.

“Of course! Hey, don’t diss garbage,” he said when I made a face. “It’s only the best food in the house. Always fresh and exciting. A culinary adventure every time you dig in. Okay, so where are we? Gimme a minute to get my bearings, will you?”

We had been steadily traversing the basement of the school, which was pretty sprawled out, I have to say. Some parts of it had been turned into an underground parking garage, others had been turned into a storeroom, and still others held the heating system, which was pretty impressive, I have to say. We had gone past all of that and now found ourselves at a crossroads. I hoped Freddy hadn’t led us astray, for I’d never be able to find my way back.

“This basement probably stretches out for miles,” said Pup in hushed tones. “How does anyone ever find their way?”

“I said gimme a minute,” said Freddy as he pressed a paw to his head and closed his eyes. “Okay, so we passed the storage room, and the boiler room. That means we’re almost there.” He opened his eyes. “It’s that way,” he said, pointing ahead of us.

“Are you quite sure, Mr. Rat?” asked Harriet.

“Freddy, please. And yeah, I’m sure. This is my home, remember. My clan lives here.”

“How big is your clan, Mr. Freddy?” asked Dooley reverently.

“Big,” he assured my friend.

We were in a large and cavernous space that was entirely dark, and I had trouble seeing even a couple of yards ahead of me. Cats have terrific eyes, but we still need a little bit of light. Unlike urban lore, we can’t actually see in the dark. What I did see now when I focused, was a set of little lights ahead of us. “Hey, there’s lights over there,” I told Freddy.

More and more, as we approached, the lights multiplied.

“Yeah, that’s them,” he said.

“Them? What’s them?” asked Harriet.

“Why, my clan, of course. Hey, you guys,” he said.

“Hey, Freddy,” said a voice in the darkness. And that’s when I saw it: dozens upon dozens of rats sat huddled in front of us, a welcoming committee if ever I saw one.

“These are Max, Dooley, Harriet, and Brutus,” said Freddy. “And that little guy over there is Pup. They’re looking for their human.”

“Aren’t they a little lost?” asked another voice. “Surely their human is one level up.”

“Nah, he’s been snatched and locked up down here,” said Freddy. “And so now I’m taking them to see the guy.”

“I did notice a lot of unusual activity these past couple of hours,” said another one of Freddy’s family members, a particularly large rat with a nasty scar across his left eye.

“What activity?” asked Freddy.

“Oh, people coming and going. It’s a real hassle. Just when you think you finally got some peace and quiet, because it’s the weekend, they turn this place into a convention center.”

“The worst time was this morning,” Freddy told us. “There was some kind of big to-do in the main hall. Hundreds of people, and one of them was the governor—I kid you not.”

“You should run for governor, Freddy,” said one of the other rats. “You would do a better job than the one we got now.”

“Maybe I should,” Freddy conceded with a dry chuckle. “I probably would do a pretty good job.” He turned to me. “It’s all about community service, Max. And that’s me. Mr. Community Service.”

“He’s not kidding, you know, Max,” said the rat that had last spoken. “Freddy is a great organizer. If you need something done, just ask Freddy. He’ll get it done.”

“Oh, stop it,” said Freddy. “I just do what I can for my tribe. You guys would do the same thing if asked.”

“But that’s just it, isn’t it, Freddy? Nobody asks us. They all ask you. And that’s because you deliver the goods.”

“Can we… can we maybe find Uncle Alec?” I asked. Not that I wasn’t fascinated with this glimpse into Freddy’s soul and list of accomplishments, but time was of the essence, after all.

“Of course,” said Freddy. “Sorry, you guys. Looks like we need to get going.”

“Why don’t we join you?” asked one of the rats. “I mean, we all need to do our bit, don’t we? For the greater good?”

“Yeah, let’s all give Freddy and his new friends a helping paw,” said a second rat. “Show them some of that community spirit.”

And that’s how we ended up being escorted by a couple of hundred rats in our search for Uncle Alec and whatever other prisoners these people had possibly taken.

Freddy led the charge, as before, then it was the five of us, and then the other members of Freddy’s clan. And I have to say that I wasn’t feeling entirely pleased with this arrangement. I mean, was I grateful that Freddy’s clan had decided to chip in and help us out? Absolutely. Of course. But they were rats. And cats and rats have never been the closest of friends.

Add to that the fact that there were only five of us and hundreds of them, and I have to say I was feeling the pressure!

“Hey, cat,” one of the rats hissed to my rear end. “Have you always been so fat?”

“Does it run in the family, you think?” asked another one.

“Are you guys brothers and sisters?” asked a third.

“And what’s the deal with that dog? I thought cats and dogs didn’t get along?” asked a fourth.

And so it went on and on. Clearly they were goading us—hoping we’d react and there would be some kind of brawl. But since we all knew we were there on an important mission, we kept our cool—as much as we could.

“This is it,” said Freddy finally as we traversed another corridor. “Behind that door is where I found your uncle.”

“He’s not my uncle,” Brutus murmured.

“Ha, I forget,” said Freddy with a laugh. “Cats and humans aren’t related. Well, whatever he is to you, you will find him in there.”

The door he was referring to was made of metal, but fortunately for us had a glass partition. Unfortunately, it was a little high for us to look through. But that was easily remedied: I stood on all fours while Brutus stood on my back, Harriet stood on her boyfriend’s back, and Dooley climbed the makeshift cat pyramid to glance through that door.

“And?” I asked, straining under the weight. “Do you see anything, Dooley?”

“Yes! I see Gran and Scarlett!”

“What are they doing here?” asked Harriet.

“The same people that took Uncle Alec must have taken them,” said Brutus.

“What about Uncle Alec?” I asked. “Do you see him?”

There was a pause, then: “No, he’s not in here.”

“Probably took him to a different room,” said Freddy. “Plenty of space in this place.” He rubbed his paws delightedly. “Okay, so I’ve held up my part of the bargain, now let’s talk about my reward, shall we?”

“What reward?” asked Brutus.

“The reward for locating your peeps, of course,” said the rat as he cut a look at Brutus.

“But… you never mentioned a reward,” said Harriet.

“That’s because it’s implied, toots. Whenever you find a missing person, there’s always a reward. And finding a police chief? I’ll bet there’s a pretty big reward involved. Amiright?”

“Can… everyone… please… get… down?” I managed between belabored breaths.

Having three cats on my back was a little too much, even for a hefty specimen like me.

One by one they all climbed down again, like a circus act in reverse, and then we all faced Freddy and his clan.

“Okay, so I’m thinking that you can feed us some of that delicious kibble you talked about earlier,” said Freddy.

“But… I thought you said it’s all freeze-dried junk?” I said. “That you prefer garbage?”

“Hey, have you ever tried to feed a couple of hundred mouths? Who cares if it’s junk, as long as it’s food it’ll do. So I’m expecting you to deliver ten pounds of kibble.”

“Let’s make it a hundred,” said one of his family members. This was the rat with the scar. He looked particularly scary, I thought. Staring at us as if he held a grievance against cats, which he very well might.

“A hundred pounds of kibble!” Brutus cried.

“That’s too much,” said Harriet.

Freddy took one step forward. “Too much?” he said, and looked decidedly threatening now, I thought. “You’re forgetting that I led you to your uncle, with danger to my own life and limb. These gangsters could have caught me.”

“We haven’t even seen any gangsters!” Harriet said.

“That’s because I timed our arrival to coincide with their absence.”

“I told you Freddy’s a great organizer,” said Scarface as he took a step closer, his eyes never leaving mine. “But if you want to see gangsters, I’m sure that can be arranged. Huh, Freddy?”

“Absolutely,” said the leader of the rat pack. “This place got gangsters up the wazoo.”

I gulped. Looked like we weren’t just up against cops-slash-gangsters but also against Freddy’s entire family. Talk about caught between a rock and a hard place!

“Look, we’ll get you your kibble, all right?” I said. “But then you have to help us free Uncle Alec from these people.”

“Aren’t we supposed to wait for backup?” asked Brutus.

“We are, but who knows how long it will be before backup arrives. I think we need to handle this ourselves.”

I was also thinking that it now looked as if the entire police force of Hampton Keys was involved in this nefarious plan to kidnap Uncle Alec. If their chief of police was involved, and several of her officers, it stood to reason the rest was also in on it. If it came to a shooting match between the police forces of Hampton Cove and Hampton Keys, things would turn ugly very quickly, and some officers might not make it out alive. But if we could sneak Uncle Alec out with the assistance of Freddy and his rat army, bloodshed might be avoided.

Freddy thought about my proposal. “Okay, but I’m gonna need more kibble. Let’s say…” He glanced back to Scarface.

“A thousand,” said the rat with a leering grin at me.

“A thousand pounds of kibble!” I cried.

“Take it or leave it,” said Freddy.

“Huddle,” said Brutus curtly.

And so the four of us, with Pup in the middle, joined together in a huddle.

“I think we should say yes,” said Harriet. “This is our one chance to get Uncle Alec out of here. These rats are formidable, and they know this basement like the back of their paw.”

“But a thousand pounds, snow bunny,” said Brutus. “That’s a lot of kibble! And what if Odelia decides to take them from our stash?”

“We don’t have a thousand pounds of kibble in our stash,” said Harriet. “And besides, a thousand pounds is nothing compared to the life of Uncle Alec, is it?”

“Harriet is right,” said Dooley. “Whatever it takes to save Uncle Alec’s life.”

“Okay, so we’re saying yes?” I asked.

“We’re saying yes,” Harriet confirmed.

“I can add a couple of bags of dog kibble,” Pup offered, “on the condition that we find Darlene and save her.”

“Okay, offer accepted,” I said. “Thanks, Pup.”

“You’re welcome, Max.”

We turned back to Freddy. “Offer accepted,” I told him curtly.

Freddy’s lips curled up into a grin. “Did you hear that, gang? A thousand pounds of cat kibble.”

“And a few dog kibble bags,” Pup added quietly.

A rousing cheer rang up from the mob of rats. They all seemed pretty pleased with their new acquisition.

“See?” said Scarface as he clapped Freddy on the back. “My cousin is the best at negotiating deals.”

“And now for the fun part,” said Freddy as a malevolent gleam came into his eyes. “Let’s go and liberate Max’s uncle!”

CHAPTER 28

Their adventure at the hospital hadn’t yielded them as much as Clarice would have hoped. They still didn’t know where Scarlett was, and since that was Clarice’s main objective, she felt quite disappointed when they returned to Wilbur’s delivery van.

“Well, that was a bust,” she said as she climbed into the loading bay once more.

“I don’t know,” said Shanille. “At least now we know why Dick was attacked.”

“Because he was his old lecherous self again?” said Kingman.

“Exactly,” said Shanille with a stern expression. “The lesson we have learned today is an important one. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.”

“Or your neighbors’ wives, plural,” Kingman added cheerfully. “Looks like Dicky’s been up to his old tricks again, and he received a black eye for his trouble.”

“More than a black eye,” said Clarice. “They could have killed him.” She sighed. “So what now, Marge? How are we going to use this information to find Scarlett and Vesta?”

The biggest disappointment of all had been Wilbur, who had spent all of his time ‘researching’ the alcohol situation at the hospital, and had ended up imbibing far too much of the stuff himself to bother taking it to Dick. The others had to retrieve him, and it had taken some persuading on their part to make him shift from his position.

“Maybe you shouldn’t drive,” Marge suggested to Wilbur.

“And why the heck not?” the man challenged with a touch of acerbity.

“You are sozzled!”

“I am not sozzled,” said Wilbur, tilting his chin. But it was clear from the slight slurring of the words that rolled from his lips that he was, indeed, two sheets in the wind, or perhaps even three or four.

And so Marge took away his keys and handed them to Father Reilly. “You drive,” she said determinedly.

And it was a testament to the steely look in her eyes that Wilbur did as he was told, and so did Father Reilly.

“I’m not ssssshozzled,” Wilbur muttered as he climbed onto the passenger seat. “Not sssssshozzled at all.”

After Father Reilly had positioned his chair just so, adjusted his side mirror, his rear-view mirror, checked if the pedals were all still in place, and the steering wheel, located the left and right indicators, said a silent prayer and crossed himself, they were finally mobile again.

Marge seemed as disappointed with the outcome of their recent mission as Clarice, which gave her an idea. “I feel that maybe we should go and talk to those neighbors again?” she suggested therefore. “After all, they were there when Marge’s mom and Scarlett were taken. So maybe they can tell us what they saw? Give us a description of the person that took them?”

“I like your thinking, Clarice,” said Kingman. “Maybe that’s exactly what we should do.”

“I concede your suggestion has merit,” Shanille concurred with a curt nod of the head.

The three of them eyed Marge expectantly. They might decide whatever they wanted, but if the humans didn’t get on board, there wasn’t a lot they could do to put the squeeze on those neighbors and extract the information they needed.

Lucky for them, Marge was a sensible woman and clearly as motivated as they were to find their missing loved ones.

The librarian nodded. “Let’s go talk to Dick’s neighbors.”

“Where are we going, Marge?” asked Wilbur.

“Yes, we need directions, oh fearless leader,” said Father Reilly.

“We’re going to the neighborhood where Dick lives,” said Marge, scooting forward so she could address her fellow amateur detectives. “We’ll talk to the neighbors and ask them to ID the kidnappers. They saw them, so they should be able to provide us with a description.”

“And why hasn’t the police done that?” asked Wilbur. “I mean, it’s only their job.”

“I guess that without my brother there, the station is in a state of chaos,” Marge ventured.

“Like we, they need a leader,” Father Reilly. “Good thing we have you, oh Marge dear.”

Marge smiled. “And good thing I have you guys.” She turned to Clarice. “And you three, of course. I wouldn’t know what to do if you weren’t here with us.”

“We all want the same thing,” Clarice pointed out. “And that is to return Scarlett and Vesta to safety.”

“Don’t forget about Uncle Alec,” Kingman added.

At least Father Reilly proved to be a much better driver than Wilbur, even if a little slow. At this rate it would take them a day to get to their destination, but at least they’d get there in one piece.

“Does he always drive this slow?” she asked Shanille.

“He’s a very careful driver,” said Shanille. “And I, for one, wholeheartedly approve.”

“I guess it’s better than crashing into a tree,” Kingman agreed.

In the end they made it to Dick’s neighborhood, and Father Reilly gently rolled the car to a stop and parked behind a nice red BMW. Looked like Dick’s neighbors were pretty well off.

“Okay, so how do you want to do this?” asked Wilbur as he rubbed his hands and directed a keen look at the houses lining this stretch of suburbia. “Split up, or stay together, or what?”

“I figured we might as well split up,” said Marge. “That way we’ll be able to cover more ground more quickly. Time is of the essence, after all.”

“Yeah, the clock is ticking,” said Wilbur as he clapped his hands, directing his words of encouragement to no one in particular.

And so it was decided. They would each tackle a different neighbor until they had the information they required. And since their team effort at the hospital had been mildly successful in the sense that they hadn’t been caught, Marge decided to stick to the same formula: “Clarice, you’re with me,” she said. “Shanille, you’re with Francis. And Kingman with Wilbur. Let’s go, you guys. And good luck!”

CHAPTER 29

Alec had a bad feeling about this ‘meeting.’ How could a prisoner have a meeting with his captor? Especially when the captor had also taken his own mother hostage? But since he was essentially an optimistic type of person, he hoped that he and Chief Doyle might be able to come to some kind of understanding.

He was escorted by the two cops who worked for Suzette to a separate room that looked a lot more hospitable than the cell he had been confined to for the past couple of hours. At least it wasn’t a rat-infested hellhole. It even had a heating system installed, a fridge in the corner, a table and chairs, and a television set on a cantilever bracket attached to the far wall.

“This is the janitor’s bolthole,” Suzette explained as she offered him a seat at the table.

One of her officers removed his handcuffs, only to attach them to the chair.

“So you won’t go walkabout,” said the police chief with a withering smile.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said dryly.

She didn’t sit down but remained standing, effectively towering over him as she placed her hands flat on the table.

“So let’s talk turkey, Chief Lip. You know what we want you to do. So are you prepared to meet our terms?”

He looked her straight in the eye. “Maybe you should repeat your offer, Chief Doyle. I’m still a little fuzzy on some of the details.”

She studied him for a moment, then nodded. “Fair enough. We want you to turn a blind eye to the activities of some of our associates that are active in the Hampton Cove area. If you do that, you will be richly rewarded with some of the proceeds from those same activities. If not…” She shrugged. “I don’t have to explain to you what will happen if you refuse.”

“You don’t give me much of a choice.”

“Any person clever enough to know what’s good for them would have jumped at the chance to make some extra money. But you had to hold out, didn’t you? Why is that, I wonder? A chance to raise your price?”

“I don’t have a price to raise,” he said softly.

“Oh, so you’re Mr. Incorruptible, are you? I’d heard rumors about you, you know. That you think you’re better than the rest of us. Well, let me tell you that you’re not,” she said as she poked his chest with her index finger. “Either you take us up on our offer, or you will eat a bullet—and so will that annoying mother of yours and her idiot friend with the freaky lips.”

He swallowed. The prospect of eating a bullet didn’t sound all that appetizing to him. But he couldn’t, in good conscience, negotiate with these crooks, could he? Not after he had devoted his entire life to upholding the law.

“I’m afraid the answer is no, Chief Doyle.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re making this very difficult for me, Lip. Okay, so how about we give you a bigger cut? And not only you, but also your wife and that niece of yours—what’s her name? Odelia. And maybe we’ll even throw a bone to her husband, Detective Kingsley. As newlyweds with a young daughter, they need all the extra cash they can get. Have to build up that college fund, right?”

He gave her a dirty look. “Is that a threat?”

“I’ll be honest with you: we’ve considered replacing you, but it’s a lot harder than it looks. First off, that wife of yours being mayor is a hurdle that’s difficult to tackle. And then there’s that entire extended family of yours. We’d have to get rid of the lot of them if we hope to be successful in transitioning Hampton Cove into the kind of place Hampton Keys is now. And that seems like such a big undertaking, it will probably attract a lot of unwanted attention.”

He could see what she meant. Getting rid of his entire family would definitely attract attention, especially as they were so embedded in their local community. All kinds of alarm bells would go off, and investigations would be launched, making it hard for this criminal enterprise to spread its tentacles and take over the town the way they envisioned.

“Okay, so what if I do say yes,” he said. “Can you guarantee that my family will be safe?”

“Absolutely!” said the treacherous police chief as she straightened. “That’s the whole point: we want to offer you protection. You and your entire clan. All you have to do is turn a blind eye and maybe feed us some information from time to time. That’s all. Not that big of a deal when you think about it. And in exchange, you’ll build up a nice little nest egg.”

“Sounds enticing,” he said as he studied her closely. It was just her now, and those two cops guarding the door. He could take them. If only they hadn’t shackled him to the chair. But they’d have to unshackle him when they returned him to his cell. So maybe he could do something then. He wasn’t exactly in the best shape of his life, but he wasn’t in bad shape either. Even though Charlene had been egging him on about going on a diet again, he figured his bulk would work in his favor now. He’d be able to pin Suzette to the floor and then ram the others by digging his head into their midsections and slamming them into the wall.

It should work, if he timed it well.

And he was going over the potential moves he’d have to execute in his head when two more cops entered the room. Now there were four of them, plus Chief Doyle. He still liked his odds, even though they had definitely shrunk. And when he saw more cops pass by the room they were in, he realized that probably the entire police department of Hampton Keys was on the take. Even though he could feel the fire in his belly, his fighting spirit raring to go, he couldn’t see himself taking on an entire police department all by himself.

He wouldn’t last five minutes against those superior numbers.

“Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves?” he told the collected officers present in the room. “You should be upholding the law, not breaking it!”

“Cute,” said Suzette with a smirk. “Very cute.”

“How can you possibly justify what you’re doing?”

Suzette’s smile was wiped from her face. “In case you haven’t noticed, nobody really cares about upholding the law, buddy. Or else they’d pay us a decent salary. We all do what we must to take care of our families, and this is what we chose.” She brought her face closer to Alec’s, and he could see the red veins in the whites of her eyes. “I suggest you do the same.”

She didn’t leave him with much of a choice. And so he did the only thing he could to save his family. He said, “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Can you repeat that, Chief Lip? I don’t think I heard you right,” said Suzette.

He lifted his head and looked her straight in the eye. “I said, I’ll do it. But only if you give me a cast-iron guarantee that you won’t hurt my family.”

“Finally!” said Suzette as she clapped her hands. “Finally, the man sees the light. Did you hear that, Ruiz? Chief Lip is joining the team.”

“Good choice,” Ruiz grunted.

“Can you uncuff me now?” he asked, rattling his chains.

“Absolutely,” said Chief Doyle. “Of course we’ll uncuff you. We are going to hold on to your mother for the time being, though.”

His head whipped up. “What? Why?”

“I’d say your word is good enough for me, but I’d be lying. So we’re going to keep your mother and her friend until I feel convinced that you’re going to honor your commitment.”

“And how long will that take?”

“That all depends on you. If you do as you’re told, and you don’t try to squeal about what happened here today, I’m sure we’ll be able to send them home soon enough.”

“That’s not part of the deal,” he said through gritted teeth.

She spread her arms. “It’s called leverage, darling. You can see that, can’t you? I trust you, but let’s just say I trust you a whole lot more when I have your mother in custody.”

He grumbled something but could see that they had him, and there was nothing he could do. He could mount a rescue operation once they’d freed him, but he had a feeling they’d move their prisoners as soon as they let him go.

“Good boy,” said Suzette as she patted his cheek. She gestured to her partners in crime. “Uncuff him.”

“Are you sure?” asked Ruiz.

“I’m sure. He won’t do anything foolish as long as we’ve got Mommy Dearest to keep us company.” She gave him a cruel smile. “Pleasure to do business with you, Chief Lip.”

She held out her hand, and even though he wanted to slap it away, he forced himself to shake the hand of his enemy.

Hopefully, he’d find a way out of this odious deal soon.

CHAPTER 30

The rat army—and I think I can safely call them that—marched onward, with the five of us right behind them. I figured that in this constellation, we were like the generals, who let the soldiers soldier on while they stay on the sidelines and bark orders. Freddy didn’t see it that way, though, for suddenly the sea of rats parted, and Freddy beckoned for us to join him at the head of the procession.

With a certain measure of reluctance, we answered his call and suddenly found ourselves leading the charge instead of trailing behind it. It was definitely a position more fraught with danger. I certainly hoped it wouldn’t lead to our imminent demise. But then I only had to look over my shoulder at the hundreds of rats to feel reassured: we had the numbers to take on these hoodlums holding Uncle Alec prisoner, and we certainly had right on our side.

Then again, everyone who ever goes to war thinks they’re right and the other side is wrong. Though this time, I was fairly convinced there was no question that we were fighting the good fight.

“Um… so how do you want to do this?” I asked Freddy.

“Simple,” he said. “We hit them with everything we’ve got and make them cry for their mamas.” He gave me a toothy grin that made me slightly weak at the knees. Rats do have that effect on me, and their razor-sharp gnashers even more. “Any other questions, Maxie baby?”

“Hey, that’s what I always call him,” said Brutus, pleasantly surprised. Seemed he had found a soulmate in Freddy.

And since Freddy seemed to know what he was doing, we decided to head into battle with him in charge.

Humans use doors, but rats don’t—and when I think of it, cats don’t either. Not when they’re closed, that is. Though there are cats that know how to operate a door handle, I don’t think a rat has ever managed that particular feat. And so I looked forward to discovering how Freddy planned to get through the closed door that barred access to the part of the basement where Gran and Scarlett were locked up, and also—hopefully—Odelia’s uncle.

I didn’t have to wait long to find out: they simply walked through the wall—quite literally. Though when I looked closer, I discovered that the part of the wall that Freddy disappeared into had been chewed up, the cinderblock’s structural integrity compromised by the army of enterprising and highly diligent rats.

Freddy’s head popped back out through the hole in the wall. “Well?” he cried. “Are you coming or what?”

“I don’t think I’ll fit through there,” I said as I studied the hole, measured its size in relation to my own circumference, and couldn’t see a match.

“Just give him a push, will you?” Freddy yelled to his troops.

I started to complain, “I don’t think…” but before I could finish the sentence, I felt a powerful and unstoppable force applying pressure to my rear end. My head got stuffed into the hole, and even though the rest of my body groaned in protest, there was nothing I could do to prevent the inevitable. Like a cork being shoved back into a bottle, I was being shoved right on through that hole in the wall. There was a sort of rending sound as my fur was scraped from my corpus in several places, and then I found myself popping out the other side.

“Ouch,” I said as I checked myself for puncture wounds.

Behind me, in short order, Brutus, Harriet, and Dooley were also shoved through by the impatient rat horde, and Pup brought up the rear, easily passing through because of his size.

“You’re lucky you’re so small,” said Brutus, who didn’t look entirely happy with this state of affairs either.

“That’s the first time anyone has ever told me that,” said Pup. “Mostly they complain I’m so tiny.”

“My fur!” Harriet cried as she picked a piece of concrete from her belly. “My precious fur! I’ll never be white again!”

“Of course you will, precious,” said Brutus. “And even if you’re not, you’ll always be white to me.”

“Like you’ll always be black to me,” said Harriet with a giggle.

“Cut it out, lovebirds,” said Freddy, the relentless leader. “Make war, not love, all right?”

Behind us, dozens upon dozens of rats poured through the opening, and insisted we make space for them. And so we were carried onwards like a ship cresting a giant wave, until we found ourselves inside that prison cell. And lo and behold: I heard that very familiar voice.

“You guys!” Gran cried. “How did you find us!”

“Gran!” Dooley yelled, his face lighting up.

“Okay, that’s a thousand pounds of kibble more,” said Freddy. When I gave him a strange look, he shrugged. “It’s a thousand pounds a prisoner, Maxie baby. That’s just the way it is.”

Just then, Scarlett got up off the floor and looked at us with surprise etched on her features. It wasn’t as great as the surprise that must have been displayed on ours, though.

“Scarlett, what have you done to your face!” Harriet cried.

She was right. Scarlett’s lips were so big they looked like balloons.

“Her face is infected,” said Dooley. “It must be from the terrible conditions in here.”

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you guys! C’mere!” said Scarlett, and opened her arms wide. The only one who responded to her invitation to be clasped to her impressive bosom was Pup, and she hugged him so close the little doggie finally gasped for breath.

“Have you seen my human?” he asked. “Her name is Darlene and she’s very nice.”

But of course Scarlett didn’t understand what his barking signified.

“Okay, so that’s another thousand pounds of kibble,” said Freddy, keeping count.

At this rate I was starting to hope we wouldn’t find any more prisoners on the premises!

Suddenly the door opened and a police officer appeared. He seemed surprised to find the jail cell festooned with four cats, one dog and a fair few rats. “Rats!” he cried. “Cats!”

“And a puppy in a pear tree,” Dooley sang happily.

CHAPTER 31

As Alec was being transported back to his cell—pending his final release from captivity—he became aware of a lot of loud noise coming from the direction of his prison cell. And when he looked a little closer, he saw the strangest phenomenon: the floor… was moving!

But then he saw that it was rats. And plenty of them. Everywhere he looked, he saw the pernicious vermin. They were on the floor, they were on the walls, and some were even dangling from the lightbulbs.

Suzette’s officers were as surprised by this sudden surge of the rodent element as he was. Before long, they were being overrun by the creatures, who used them as climbing poles and seemed to have a whale of a time snapping at their noses, their ears, and any other body part that was protruding.

The officers were all screaming as they tried to rid themselves of the surplus of rats. One unlucky soul tripped and fell and was immediately covered by a blanket of rats. His voice sounded desperate, as if he was being devoured alive!

“I think we better get back, boss,” said the officer who had been escorting Alec. “Looks like we’ve got a rat infestation on our hands.”

“It had to happen sometime,” said Suzette. “But why now!” She took hold of Alec’s arm. “Okay, get back. Get back now, you fool!”

“Alec, jump!” another voice suddenly sounded. He narrowed his eyes and thought he could make out his mother, waving at him from the dark recesses of the corridor. “Jump in!” she repeated. “The water is warm, Alec!”

What she said made no sense at all. Unless… and as he studied the moving mass of rats, he thought he saw a familiar face hiding in all of that rippling fur. It was… Max!

It had happened, he realized with a jubilant heart. The rat. It had heard his plea and it had come through for him!

And so before Suzette’s horrified gaze, he lowered himself onto the undulating mass of rodents.

“You fool!” she screamed.

And as he was being transported away by the sea of rats in the direction of his mother, who was hopefully waiting on the other side, he watched as Suzette beat a hasty and panicky retreat, followed by the officers under her command.

He imagined he was at a rock concert, surfing on the crowd. Only his crowd was an army of bristly-haired rats. As he was swept along, a door opened to his left, and another officer glanced out. Watching the police chief being carried along, a horrified look appeared on his face, his mouth forming a perfect O.

But then someone inside that jail cell gave the officer a hard push, landing him squarely into the roiling sea of fur and sharp teeth, being swept away immediately in the opposite direction. The man that had appeared seemed like another prisoner, and so Alec yelled, “Lie down! They’ll take us to safety!”

The rats made a terrible racket, a mixture of screeches and hisses, but still he managed to make himself heard over the din, as the man followed his example and also lay down on the peculiar blanket.

Together, they soon found themselves being deposited on the hard concrete floor, and he was being helped to his feet by Scarlett, while Ma occupied herself with helping out the other unfortunate soul.

A small puppy caught sight of the fellow, and did a double take, then started barking like mad, as if angry with the guy about something. Or maybe he was pleased to see him? With puppies, it’s sometimes hard to know for sure.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Ma, and took his hand. “Did that horrible woman hurt you?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” he said.

Odelia’s cats had also materialized and now led the way to safety—or at least he hoped they would. The rats were still busy pursuing the corrupt cops and taking down names and making prisoners. He silently thanked them and then hurried after the cats.

They passed through a boiler room, a storage room and a parking garage, finally to reach a small window. The cats could pass through, but there was no way he or the others could.

But the moment the cats had all passed through, and also the puppy, some powerful force on the other side yanked the window from its frame, and all of a sudden, he found himself looking straight into the face of… Chase!

“Oh, buddy!” he cried, elated to see a friendly face. “You can’t believe how happy I am to see you!”

“Likewise, boss,” said the detective, his face split into a wide grin. “Let’s get you guys out of there, shall we?”

And so one by one, they managed to crawl out of the school’s underground. The moment the sun hit his face, he thought he’d never experienced a more joyful thing. And then, when Odelia gave him a big hug, and so did Chase, he actually started weeping like a little baby.

But he didn’t mind. He was saved.

CHAPTER 32

The first door that Clarice and Marge knocked on belonged to a couple named the Spencers—Bud and Flicka. They seemed nice enough, but when Marge asked if they had witnessed the arrest of her mother that morning, they said they hadn’t. Or at least hadn’t paid attention.

Somehow Clarice didn’t believe a word they said. “Want me to tear them a new one, Marge? I can do that, you know. No sweat.”

But Marge held up her hand to indicate that she preferred not to use any violence. “She was arrested right in front of you,” she said. “You must have seen something.”

Bud Spencer, a thickset individual with plenty of chest hair peeking out of the neckline of his T-shirt, thought hard for a few moments, then finally held up his finger. “You know what? I did see a couple of old ladies getting themselves arrested. No idea what that was about.”

“Wasn’t it something to do with Dick Bernstein being attacked?” asked his wife.

“Possibly,” Bud conceded.

“Did you get a good look at the officers making the arrest?” asked Marge. “It’s important,” she stressed.

“No, they were just officers,” said Flicka. “You know, in a police uniform and all of that?”

“The thing is that when you see one cop you’ve seen them all,” said Bud. “With those uniforms. It makes them all look so similar.”

“We didn’t want to get involved, so we didn’t see much of anything,” his wife added.

“We think that the officers weren’t actually officers,” said Marge. “We think they may have been false cops.”

“False cops?” asked Bud.

“Yeah, you know. People dressed up as cops but not actually cops. And that they abducted my mother and her friend for some reason.”

“Now why on earth would they do a thing like that?” asked Bud, seeming to find the whole thing ridiculous.

“That’s what I’ve been wondering,” Marge intimated. “And the only thing I can think is that it must have had something to do with Dick. Do you know him well?”

“Dick Bernstein?” asked Flicka. “Well, he’s our neighbor.”

“Yeah, he’s our neighbor,” said Bud.

“I know he’s your neighbor. But do you have any idea who attacked him? He was found in his garden house,” she added, just in case the details of the attack had managed to elude them.

“Nah,” said Bud, shaking his head. “No idea, I’m sorry.”

“Me neither,” said Flicka.

Clarice, who could smell deception on these two as sure as anything, said, “I’ll scratch them now, shall I? Make ‘em talk?”

But once again, Marge held up her hand and gestured for her to back off. Pansies, she thought. All humans were pansies. Afraid of coming across as impolite. She didn’t have a problem with being considered impolite. These two lying through their teeth, that was impolite.

Finally, Marge decided there was nothing more to gain by trying to get blood from this stone, and so she left. But since Clarice didn’t have the same compunction for outstaying her welcome, she decided to stick around. So she followed these two clowns into the house—they didn’t even notice she had slipped through their legs and had taken up position behind the umbrella stand—and hoped they’d let their guard down when they thought they were alone.

“I hope we’ve seen the last of that busybody,” said Flicka as she legged it into the kitchen. “What an annoying woman!”

“I just hope she won’t go blabbing to the cops,” said Bud, following her into the kitchen at a more leisurely pace. Clarice followed suit, taking care not to be seen. “You know what these busybodies are like. The thing they like the most is to stick their noses where they don’t belong and create trouble for people like us.”

“I thought this whole cop business was taken care of by now?”

“It’s not a given, Flicka,” said Bud. “So we still need to be careful.”

“Next she’ll start asking us about the disappearance of Darlene.” She gave her husband a cold look. “I do wonder where she could have gone off to, don’t you, husband dear?”

“Let’s not start about that again, shall we?” he said as he picked up a bottle of bourbon from the kitchen counter and poured himself a stiff one. “It’s a topic best left undiscussed.”

“And yet I feel the need to discuss it,” said Flicka.

“I can’t imagine why,” Bud grunted as he swigged his drink in two gulps and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

Flicka was still staring daggers at the man, who didn’t seem aware of the fact. Or maybe he was used to it.

“What do you make of Sandra, huh?” said Bud.

“Don’t change the subject, Bud,” said Flicka.

Undeterred, he said, “Laying into us like that. Talk about a shocking lack of loyalty. I mean, what did we ever do to her?”

“She’s just jealous,” said Flicka. “You know how much she likes Dick. So she figures that Dick is into Joann and…” She hesitated.

“And you,” said Bud as he fiddled with his empty glass and eyed the bottle on the counter.

“So?” said Flicka. “What if Dick is into me? What’s so wrong with that?”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it,” said Bud with a shrug. “All I’m saying is that Sandra is a jealous girl. And that’s why she flew off the handle.” He frowned. “We probably should sit down with her. Before things spiral out of control.”

“Why do I get the feeling it’s too late for that?”

Bud shook his head. “We need to contain this. It’s important.”

“Well, you contain it then,” said Flicka as she grabbed the bottle and returned it to the kitchen cupboard. “It’s your fault things are spiraling out of control, after all. If you hadn’t…” Bud gave her a dangerous look, and she decided to swallow her words. “Just deal with it.”

“Oh, I’ll deal with it,” Bud assured her.

“Good.”

“Excellent.”

Clarice watched on as Flicka legged it to the staircase and headed up the stairs, and Bud opened the sliding glass door and walked out onto the deck.

Humans, she thought. They did have a habit of making everything so very complicated. So much so that she had absolutely no idea what was going on here. Plenty of subtext that she didn’t understand. She needed to talk to Max. He’d be able to figure it out. For that something was amiss was obvious. What it was and how it was connected with the attack on Dick, or the string of kidnappings, was beyond her.

She snuck out of the house through the sliding glass door and disappeared around the side, unseen and unheard.

With a smile of satisfaction, she thought she would have made an excellent spy. Max would be so proud of her.

CHAPTER 33

Iwas glad that our ordeal was over and that our rescue attempt had been successful. Odelia, who had told us to take a look-see and establish that her uncle was being held on the premises, was a little peevish that instead we had decided to stage a rescue attempt and not wait for the promised backup.

“It was a case of seizing the moment,” I told her after we had all emerged from the bowels of the school. “We saw an opportunity and so we took it. Are you very upset?”

“I’m not upset, Max,” she said. “I was just worried about you guys, that’s all. After all, you were up against a small army of armed rogue cops.”

That was true enough. And we weren’t in the clear yet. Those rogue and corrupt officers had been momentarily waylaid by Freddy’s army, but they’d soon realize that their prisoners had managed to skedaddle and would come after us.

And so we all piled into Chase’s squad car, and the detective put his foot on the accelerator and peeled out of the high school parking lot, going hell for leather.

There wasn’t a lot of space in the back, and the five of us were squeezed between Uncle Alec, Gran, Scarlett, and Terence Hill. Pup, who seemed to be harboring some kind of animosity towards his human, stayed as far away from the man as possible, but still kept a close eye on the guy.

“What is it you have against Terence, Pup?” I asked.

“He kidnapped Darlene,” he said. He gave me a pleading look. “You have to put the squeeze on him, Max. You have to make him talk. What if Darlene is locked up somewhere, without food or water, on the verge of expiring!”

He had a point. Odelia had thought from the very start that Terence had killed his wife and had hidden her body in the trunk of his car. That had proved not to be the case, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t done it.

But since we had more important fish to fry at that moment, I didn’t feel it was prudent to launch into a full investigation into what Terence had or hadn’t done. We had to get out of Dodge first and foremost—or Hampton Keys in this case—before Chief Doyle was on us.

As it was, the woman didn’t waste any time but was already converging on us.

“They’re here,” Chase announced as he checked his rear-view mirror.

Odelia turned to look, and so did the small contingent of humans in the pickup. “Christ, that was fast,” said Uncle Alec. “Can you shake them?”

“I’ll try,” said Chase. He was holding on to that steering wheel like a seasoned rally driver and wasn’t going to allow these people to catch up with us if he could manage it.

Odelia, who had been on the phone with the Suffolk County Police Department, said, “They’ll meet us in Hampton Cove.”

“They’ll start an investigation?” asked Chase.

“Yes, they will. They’ll want to speak to you, Uncle Alec,” she said. “First and foremost. As the abduction and illegal incarceration of a police chief is a pretty damning offense.”

“What about the abduction and illegal incarceration of the leader of the neighborhood watch?” asked Gran.

“And her second in command,” Scarlett added.

“All of their offenses will be taken into account,” Odelia assured the two old ladies. “Though I - don’t understand why they took you, Terence.”

“Yes, why did they take you?” asked Uncle Alec.

Terence shrugged. “Beats me. I guess I was in the wrong place at the wrong time?”

“Mh,” said Odelia, and clearly didn’t believe that Terence wouldn’t know why he had been abducted.

The car chasing us was moving closer and was now bumper to bumper with us. They gave it a little nudge and bumped into us, causing us all to cry out as we rocked back and forth.

“Looks like they mean business,” said Chase.

“Can’t you go faster?” asked Uncle Alec.

“Or let me take the wheel,” Gran suggested. “I’m an ace driver. I’d lose this tail in no time.”

“Let’s all just relax,” Odelia suggested, “and let Chase focus on his driving.”

“We’ll be in Hampton Cove soon,” said the detective. “Let’s hope they’ll give up once they’re out of their jurisdiction.”

Suddenly Odelia’s phone chimed and she looked at the device. “It’s Chief Doyle,” she said. “Should I ignore her?”

“Just listen to what she has to say,” Chase suggested.

Odelia picked up and said, “Hello?” She listened for a moment and her lips tightened. “You should give up now, Chief Doyle. I’ve talked to the Suffolk County PD and they’ll issue a warrant for your arrest any moment now. Yours and all the people who work for you. So if I were you, I’d go home and talk to a lawyer.” She pressed the disconnect button with a resolute gesture and shook her head.

“What did she have to say?” asked Uncle Alec.

“She said we should stop the car if we know what’s good for us. I think she got the message when I told her that I’ve been in touch with the Suffolk County PD, though. She seemed taken aback by that.”

“Let’s hope she backs off,” said Chase.

But the car chasing us was speeding up again, and when it nudged us a second time, we all were sent rocketing back and forth once more.

“This is going to give us all whiplash,” said Gran as she grabbed her neck. “Don’t you have any guns in here, Chase? Maybe we should give them something to think about.”

“What do you have in mind?” asked Chase.

“Shoot out their tires, of course! What else!”

Chase considered this for a moment and locked eyes with Uncle Alec through the rear-view mirror. “What do you say, boss?”

“We could give it a shot,” Uncle Alec agreed. “Though I’ll be handling the shooting if you don’t mind, Ma.”

“What! This was my idea!” she protested.

“Do you even know how to shoot?” asked the chief.

“Of course I know how to shoot! I’m the leader of the neighborhood watch!”

Uncle Alec grimaced at this. He then accepted the gun from Odelia that she had retrieved from the glovebox at her husband’s instigation.

“Don’t shoot your own foot,” Gran grumbled. She wasn’t happy that she wasn’t being trusted with the gun. I have to say I applauded the decision. Between her and Uncle Alec, my money was on the chief not to get anyone accidentally shot but pointing the gun at the bad guys instead.

And so he rolled down the window, and the next moment, he was aiming that gun of his at the car chasing us. If they didn’t like what they saw, they didn’t give any indication, as they kept coming and threatening to hit us again.

“What are you waiting for!” Gran cried. “Shoot already!”

“This may seem like a strange concept to you, but I like to aim before I shoot!” her son returned. And then he did squeeze off a shot at the car in question. He mustn’t have hit anything, for our pursuers were still there, hot on our tail. He then gave it another shot, and this time he hit the bullseye: the car started swerving violently across the road, only to finally veer into a ditch and roll over a couple of times. Looked like they were out for the count!

Unfortunately, a second car was already on approach, followed by a third and a fourth.

“What’s their game?” asked Chase. “They can’t possibly think any good can come of this.”

“They’re probably desperate,” said Odelia. “They know their game is up and they want to take their frustration out on us. That’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Or they want to get rid of all the witnesses,” said Uncle Alec. “If they can crash the car and make us disappear, along with the evidence, there’s no case, and they’ll get away with murder.”

“I don’t want to die,” said Terence quietly. He had been going to pieces, not holding up under the pressure all that well. The fact that Pup kept a close eye on him and seemed determined to make the man pay for his perceived crime of abducting his wife probably didn’t help.

“Nobody wants to die,” said Gran. “And nobody is going to die.” She turned to her son. “Hand me that pea-shooter, will you? I want to have a go.”

“This isn’t a democracy, Ma!” said Uncle Alec. “I’m a cop and you’re not, so I’ll be doing the shooting today, if you don’t mind.”

“Spoilsport,” Gran grumbled. “I knew we should have amassed an arsenal, honey,” she told Scarlett. “That way these fools would never have been able to arrest us and lock us up.”

“We thought they were cops, remember?” said Scarlett. “You weren’t really going to start shooting at them, were you?”

“They were cops,” said Odelia. “They still are.”

“Not for long, they’re not,” Chase grunted as he kept his eye on the road and spurred his car on to get us all home safe and sound as soon as possible.

“Isn’t there something we can do?” asked Dooley. “Like maybe talk to these people? Convince them that they should leave us in peace?”

“They’re not in a talking frame of mind, Dooley,” I told my friend.

Just then, a shot must have been fired, for the window behind us broke into a thousand little pieces and suddenly things got a little bit more dangerous for all of us.

“They’re shooting at us!” Gran cried, aghast.

“Probably because we’ve been shooting at them,” Scarlett suggested.

“Well, what are you waiting for, Alec?” said Gran. “Shoot back, dummy!”

“I’m trying,” said Uncle Alec, “but they keep swerving across the road.”

“They’re a big fat target!” said Gran. “Even I could hit them!”

Uncle Alec now squeezed off another couple of shots, and I could see that the windshield of the car behind us also shattered. Soon we were in a kind of free-for-all, though, with shots being fired on both sides. Good thing cats are small, and we could hide in the footwell if we wanted to. But if these people kept firing at us, they might hit a tire or, worse, one of the people in the car, and then we were in big trouble.

“I’m out of bullets,” Uncle Alec said sadly.

“Maybe we should do something,” I told Dooley now.

“What can we do?” asked Harriet.

“We could jump,” Brutus suggested.

Harriet stared at him as if he had just lost his mind. “Are you crazy? What are we going to accomplish? We’ll get ourselves killed!”

“Okay, who’s with me?” asked Brutus. “Max? You game for an adventure?”

“Um…” I said. “Is this really necessary?”

“Absolutely! Uncle Alec is out of ammo and these people won’t stop coming. So we need to take them out.”

“Take them out!” Harriet screamed. “Do you even listen to yourself? Who do you think you are? Supercat?”

“I could be,” said Brutus with a grin. “I mean, if Marvel was on the phone tomorrow and offered me a part in their next movie, I’d definitely be up for the part of Supercat.”

“But these people never perform their own stunts, Brutus,” I pointed out. “They have stuntpeople to do that for them.”

“I’m the kind of cat that does his own stunts,” he said as he thrust out his chest. “And that’s what I’m going to prove today. Okay, so if you guys aren’t with me, then I’ll just have to do this by myself.” He gave Harriet a peck on the cheek. “See you later, sweet cheeks. I’ll try to be home for dinner.”

“You are not going to play the hero without me, snuggles,” she said as she also readied herself to make the big leap to the other car.

“But… are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked.

“Of course! If Freddy was here, he’d tell you so.”

“But that’s just it. Freddy isn’t here,” I said. And even though I never would have admitted to anyone, I did wish he was in the car with us. Him and his entire clan. An army of rats always comes in handy—even if the price for their services is pretty steep.

“Why don’t we all do this?” Pup suggested.

“Not you, Pup,” said Brutus decidedly. “This is too dangerous for kids.”

“But I want to help,” said Pup.

“Then act as our humans’ moral support,” Harriet said. “Keep them company. Happiness is a warm puppy, after all.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I said.

“Beats me,” said Harriet. “It just came to me.”

But since Brutus and Harriet seemed determined to go through with this cockamamie plan, I figured I couldn’t very well bow out. And so as they traversed through the broken back window and into the cargo bed of Chase’s pickup, I followed, and so did Dooley.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Max?” he asked.

“I think this is probably the worst idea ever!” I said. “But looks like it’s happening, so we might as well embrace it!”

“What are the cats up to?” suddenly Odelia asked. She raised her voice. “Max! What are you guys up to?”

“Um… just taking a little sightseeing trip?” I tried.

“You’re not doing this!” she said. “Come back here—all of you!”

But it was too late. We had already reached the end of the vehicle and Brutus was gearing up to jump to the car chasing us. The moment it was close enough—getting ready to give Chase’s squad car another little nudge—he jumped right on top of the hood of the other car. And then, with my heart beating a million beats per minute, I followed suit, and so did Harriet and Dooley.

Lucky for us, the window of the car had been shot out by Uncle Alec, back when he still had bullets to shoot with, and so we hopped right onto the dashboard of the car and then I simply followed Brutus’s lead. He seemed to know what he was doing, so I figured we’d better follow his example.

Brutus dove straight for the driver’s face and dug his claws in, so I did the same with the guy seated next to him. Harriet went straight for the driver’s gun hand and sank her teeth into it, and Dooley did the same with my quarry.

They tried to shake us off, bless ‘em, while shooting a good deal. Unfortunately for them, they also had a car to steer, and were not in an advantageous position. Soon the car started going the wrong way, as the driver’s eyes were being scratched at by an unleashed Brutus, and moments later there was a big bang and the four of us were all propelled forward and onto a soft meadow.

When I looked up, I found myself gazing into the curious eyes of a large cow. It had stopped moving its mouth mid-chew and probably wondered to what it owed this visit.

“Hi, cow,” I said therefore, never forgetting my manners, even under these trying circumstances, and looked around for the others. Much to my relief, they had all been relegated to the same meadow, and had landed on all fours with no injuries to speak of.

The same couldn’t be said for the two men in the car, which seemed to have wrapped itself around an unyielding tree, they’d been thrown onto the hood of the car and looked very much the worse for wear. The engine was hissing and releasing a steady stream of steam.

Looked like our mission had been a success!

“Great job, you guys,” said Brutus.

“I didn’t know I had it in me,” said Harriet, much surprised by the success of the mission. “I didn’t know I was an action hero, you guys. The feline equivalent of Lara Croft.”

She seemed particularly proud of the role she had played.

“You know, I always thought I wanted to be a famous singer,” she added, “but now I see that I’ve been limiting myself. I should be an action heroine. I could really kick some ass!”

“You sure could, smoochie poo,” said Brutus proudly. “And you did!”

Chase’s car had stopped on the shoulder of the road and Odelia now came running. When she saw that we were all safe and all of our limbs were still attached and in working order, she hugged us to her chest and cried bitter tears. Though they could have been tears of joy. With humans it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference.

CHAPTER 34

We had left two cars in the dust, and it seemed as if our persecutors had decided to call it quits, for the rest of the journey home passed by uneventfully. Odelia dutifully informed the Suffolk County PD of the two cars that had crashed along the route from Hampton Keys to Hampton Cove and the police officers that would be in urgent need of medical assistance, and they promised to handle everything and urged her to get to safety as soon as possible.

“Looks like they’re taking this thing seriously,” she said after she got off the phone.

“They should,” said Chase. “After all, it doesn’t happen every day that an entire police force decides to go rogue.”

“Were all the cops that worked for Chief Doyle corrupt?” asked Scarlett.

“I don’t know, Scarlett,” said Uncle Alec. “But you know what they say: the fish rots from the head. If the chief of police is on the take, most likely the rest of the force is, too.”

“What did she want from you, exactly, boss?” asked Chase.

“To do like her and accept bribe money to turn a blind eye. A classic racket.”

“What kind of activities did she want you to turn a blind eye to?” asked Odelia.

“That wasn’t discussed. I assume that she was running some kind of criminal scheme that she wanted to expand to Hampton Cove. Let’s hope the SCPD will be able to get to the bottom of the whole thing and stomp it out.”

I had been watching Terence Hill throughout this conversation and was surprised to see that he was looking more and more uncomfortable. Dooley must have noticed the same thing, for he said, “Looks like Terence is missing his wife, Max. Look how he’s sweating and wringing his hands and squirming in his seat.”

“He’s not missing his wife,” said Pup. “He’s worried that we will find her and she will point the finger at him.”

Gran became aware that Terence was not a happy camper, for she patted the man on the knee, causing him to jump. “Why don’t you take that cute little puppy of yours on your lap?” she suggested. “Everyone knows that puppies ease the strained nervous system.”

And without further ado, she picked up Pup and placed him squarely on Terence’s lap!

Pup just sat there for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened, but then a low growl started at the back of his throat, and before long he was barking furiously, his whole body vibrating with rage as he barked at Terence.

“Okay, so maybe better not,” said Gran with a frown.

Pup was relegated to the other side of the car again and Terence visibly relaxed.

“Your dog doesn’t seem to like you very much,” said Gran. “Why is that, you think?”

Terence shrugged nervously. “Um… he was never my dog to begin with. Darlene chose him, not me.”

“Yeah, but dogs have an unerring sense for a person,” said Gran. “So clearly you must have done something to annoy him.”

“I never went anywhere near the creature,” said Terence. “Like I said, he was Darlene’s, not mine.”

“Mh,” said Gran, though I could see that she wasn’t buying it. “Look here,” she said. “Clearly your dog thought that Darlene would have been taken by the same kidnappers that took the rest of us. Any idea where she might be?”

The man shook his head. “No idea,” he said, glancing out through the window and clearly reluctant to be subjected to this impromptu third degree.

“Why did they take you?” asked Scarlett. “Something you did to them, maybe?”

“Like I told you before, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“I don’t get it,” said Gran. “They didn’t just pick anyone. They picked you. So they must have some beef with you.”

“You’d have to ask them, not me,” said the man curtly.

“He’s hiding something, Max,” said Dooley. “Look at the way his eyes are darting all over the place. He’s clearly lying.”

“You can say that again, Dooley,” Gran murmured as she shot a dark look at Terence. She patted the man’s knee again, making him squirm. “Look, I’ll be blunt with you,” she said. “Rumor has it that you killed your wife. So how about you level with us, huh? Where did you bury the body?”

The man stared at Gran as if she had just grown a second head. “I didn’t kill my wife. That’s all a bunch of hooey.”

“Convince me,” said Gran. “If you didn’t kill her, then who did?”

“Darlene is dead?” asked Pup, his voice rising an octave from the agitation. “Nobody told me that Darlene is dead!”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Harriet said soothingly. “Gran is simply using an interrogation tactic. She wants to get Terence to confess to what he’s done and this is the way to do it.”

“It’s a pretty terrible way!” Pup cried. “Making me believe that Darlene is dead! That’s a truly horrible thing to say!”

“Okay, buddy,” said Gran, moving a little closer to Terence and practically pressing him up against the door. “Tell us what happened. We’ll find out sooner or later so you might as well tell us.”

“I told you. I woke up one morning and she was gone. There was blood on the sheet so I figured something happened. That’s all I know, I swear!”

Gran had taken hold of Chase’s gun and was idly playing with it. And even though it didn’t have any bullets left in the magazine or the chamber, Terence still watched that gun like a hawk, just in case. Finally, she pointed it straight at his face. “The truth, Terence. Talk!”

“What do you want me to say! I don’t know what happened to her, all right. I swear to God!”

“Mh,” said Gran as she narrowed one eye at the guy, pressing the barrel of the gun against his cheek. “Are you sure you’re not telling me the truth?”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

“Ha! I knew it. Liar!”

“Gran, will you stop harassing the man?” asked Odelia. “He’s already told you that he doesn’t know where his wife is.”

“But you thought that he had killed her, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. But I searched the trunk of his car and she wasn’t there. So I have no reason to believe he took her.”

“You thought I killed my wife?” asked Terence, giving her a look of astonishment. “But… I asked you to find her for me. Why would I do that if I had killed her?”

“To throw me off the scent?”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!”

“You know what’s even more ridiculous?” said Gran. “That a guy would be taken hostage for no reason at all.”

“Okay, let’s all cool our jets here,” Uncle Alec suggested. “Terence isn’t under suspicion at the moment. Do I have to remind you that he was a victim of the same gang that kidnapped all of us? That makes me inclined to believe him.”

“But then where is Darlene?” asked Gran.

Now that was the million-dollar question.

CHAPTER 35

The first thing we did upon our return to Hampton Cove was to drop Terence off at home. He seemed reluctant to return there, which made me wonder why he had been so eager to leave in the first place. But then he had established that he wasn’t prepared to answer any of our questions—even under duress, he had insisted he was an innocent man.

As we watched him walk up the drive to his house, he glanced over his shoulder and gave us a wave.

“I still think he’s guilty,” said Gran.

“Just leave him alone, Gran,” said Odelia.

“Give me five minutes alone in a room with that man and this little toy here,” she said, lovingly stroking Chase’s gun, “I’m sure I can make him talk. Though I’d need bullets.” She directed a hopeful look at Chase, who shook his head.

“No bullets,” he said decidedly, then snatched the gun from Gran’s hands. “And no gun.”

“He’s right,” said Uncle Alec. “You don’t have a license, Ma. And even if you did, I’d revoke it the moment you got it.”

“You’d deny me my God-given right to own a gun?!” Gran cried, much dismayed.

“Darn skippy I would. It’s bad enough that you patrol the streets with that nutso watch of yours. Add a gun, and nobody would be able to sleep at night for fear of you barging into their home, shooting everything to pieces.”

“I’d never do that,” she said. “I’m a responsible citizen.”

“Yeah, right,” said Uncle Alec.

“Hey, you guys,” said Scarlett, interrupting the argument. She was pointing to someone walking along the street. “Isn’t that Wilbur over there?”

“With Kingman!” I said as I recognized our good friend.

“And look there,” said Gran. “It’s Francis and Shanille!”

And as we all marveled at the sight of our friends, suddenly there was a rap on the passenger side of the car. A smiling face hove into view, giving us all a wave.

“Mom!” said Odelia as she opened the door and got out. “What are you doing here?”

Marge was accompanied by Clarice, and as we all crawled out of the car, the reunion was an emotional one. Not only between Marge and the rest of the family, but also between neighborhood watch members and cat choir members.

“What are the chances?” said Kingman happily. “I figured you guys had gone off somewhere to find Uncle Alec. And here you are—safe and sound!”

“What happened?” asked Shanille.

The story was a long one, and so we told it as quickly as we could, since I was dying to find out what they had been up to. And so they proceeded to tell us all about their visit to Dick Bernstein—which had been quite the adventure, apparently. And also Clarice’s suggestion that they talk to the neighbors in their quest to locate Gran and Scarlett.

“They weren’t divulging much, though,” said Kingman. “None of them claimed to have seen anything, and they were all very evasive, I have to say.”

“That was my experience, too,” said Shanille. “These people are extremely economical with the truth.”

“I snuck into one of their houses,” said Clarice. “And I think I may have heard what I wasn’t supposed to hear. Though to be honest I couldn’t make head nor tail of it.”

“Tell me what you heard,” I said. I may not be the kind of cat who likes to play stunt cat or would ever be invited to feature in a Marvel superhero movie, but I do enjoy unraveling puzzles, and this looked like a challenging one to me.

She told us about the conversation between Bud and Flicka Spencer, who lived right across the street, and it sent my brain buzzing. In conjunction with the things Dick had said—and most importantly what he hadn’t said—things finally started making a lot of sense to me.

Odelia’s phone chimed and she picked up. After listening for a moment, she gave us all a thumbs-up.

“What does that mean, Max?” asked Dooley.

“It means she’s happy about something,” said Brutus.

“We probably should tell her about the rat kibble now,” said Dooley. “If she’s in a good mood she won’t be so upset with us for promising a thousand pounds of kibble to Freddy.”

“One thousand? How about three thousand?” said Brutus.

“Shouldn’t that be four thousand?” asked Harriet. “They did help us save four people back there.”

“Terence doesn’t count,” said Pup gravely. “He’s not a human.” Clearly, the pup wasn’t ready to let go of his suspicions that Terence had killed his wife.

When Odelia hung up, she said, “That was the SCPD commissioner. They’ve arrested Suzette Doyle and rounded up all of her men. Looks like the hammer is coming down on the entire Hampton Keys police department.”

“This is going to be a huge case,” said Chase. “Imagine an entire police department being on the take. Has she told them who she was working for yet?”

“No, they only made the arrest just now. It will be a while before they talk to her. But at least she’s off the streets.”

“So we’re safe?” asked Scarlett. “She won’t try to snatch us again?”

“You’re all safe,” said Odelia. “Your ordeal is finally over.”

“Thank God,” said Gran. “Being arrested by my own son is bad enough, but these people didn’t even give us our own toilet to go on.”

“Oh, no,” said Dooley. “They made you hold up your pee, Gran? But that’s inhumane!”

“Worse. They made us go on a bucket, Dooley,” said Gran. “A bucket! And not just any bucket. The same bucket Alec used! We all had to share a single bucket!”

“The monsters!” Dooley cried. “That’s like making us all use the same litter box!”

“These people are pure evil,” Harriet agreed. “You know, now that we’re all here, I was thinking that maybe we can suggest to Odelia that we turn this escapade into a movie. With her contacts as a reporter, I’m sure she’ll be able to find a producer who’s interested. And then we could all play our own parts in the movie.” She smiled. “With me as the big star, of course. And not just any star—an action star!”

“What about Freddy?” asked Brutus. “Who’s going to play Freddy?”

“CGI,” said Harriet. “Everyone knows that you should never work with animals or kids, so we’ll simply replace all the rats with computer animation. Only the four of us will play ourselves. What do you say? Won’t that be amazing?”

“Can I also play myself?” asked Pup.

“Absolutely,” said Harriet magnanimously. “As long as you behave. Directors hate prissy stars that act like divas.” She drew a paw across her pretty mane. “I demand my own trailer, of course, and a manicurist, pedicurist, hair stylist, bodyguards, and a person to carry me to and from the set on my own personalized pillow. I don’t want to make my paws dirty.”

“Good thing you’re not a diva,” said Clarice.

“What about us?” asked Kingman. “Are we also going to be in your movie, Harriet?”

Harriet flashed her eyelashes at him. “Of course not. You guys are the B-team. What you did is of no importance at all.”

Clarice didn’t seem to agree. “I’ll have you know that I just gave Max the telling clue. Didn’t I, Max? I could see it in your eyes that something clicked just then.”

I nodded. “You did indeed, Clarice.”

“See?” said Clarice triumphantly. “I cracked this case wide open, so I deserve equal billing as you, Harriet.”

“Considering that movie will never be made,” said Kingman, “this entire conversation is quite futile.”

“Of course this movie will be made!” said Harriet. “And as for you,” she added for Clarice’s sake, “we’ll see who’s in the movie or not. You’ll find that my contract clearly stipulates my final say in whether a co-star is hired or not.”

“Gee, that’s funny,” said Clarice. “My contract says the exact same thing. So looks like I’ll have to put my paw down, honey, and demand that you not be hired for my movie.”

“This is my movie!” Harriet said, going paw to paw with Clarice. “If you want your tawdry life turned into a motion picture, you need to put your own deal together.”

Clarice gave her a slight grin. “When a studio gets to choose between turning my life into a movie or yours, who do you think they’re going to choose, toots?”

“Well, mine, of course. I have led such an interesting life, whereas you…” She gave Clarice a look of disdain. “All you’ve ever done is trawl through dumpsters and crawl through sewers. Not very appealing to an audience looking for some light entertainment.”

I would have told her she was treading on dangerous ground, but once Harriet gets going, it’s hard for her to back off. I could see that Clarice’s claws were out, and her eyes were shooting flames.

“Is that a fact? Dumpsters and sewers, huh?”

“That is a fact. Everybody knows it.”

For a moment, they faced off, and we all held our breath. If things turned physical, it wasn’t hard to predict who would get the upper paw. Harriet might be a wannabe action star, but Clarice was the actual action hero. Finally, the Persian must have seen the danger signs, for she flashed Clarice a nervous smile. “Just kidding, of course. I know what a fascinating life you’ve led, Clarice. I’m sure that if it was turned into a movie it would go down gangbusters.”

“You know who would go down gangbusters if I raised my fist and gave her a good smack in the teeth right now? You, Harriet.”

Harriet gulped a little and started to backtrack. “Gee, is that the time? I’m afraid I must run. Things to do, people to see. Busy busy busy.”

And with these words, she hurried off and jumped straight into Chase’s squad car, hoping the cop would protect her from her own rash words and their consequences.

As she turned around, Clarice gave me a wink. “I guess we know who the real action hero is, don’t we?”

“You, Clarice!” Brutus hastened to say.

“There was never any question,” Kingman said.

“It’s extremely insulting of her to call us the B-team,” said Shanille, her head raised. “If that’s the case, I don’t even want to be in her movie anymore. Nobody calls me a B-talent.”

Looked like the diva had already made herself impossible with the rest of the cast.

CHAPTER 36

Bud was glad that those annoying snoops had finally left. He hoped they’d seen the last of them. Of course, it was partly his own fault. He probably shouldn’t have tried to get rid of Terence Hill. But then the man had proven to be a royal pain in the tush over the course of the past couple of weeks.

And then there was the whole Dick Bernstein episode, of course. If only he had known that the guy had friends in high places, he wouldn’t have taught him a lesson. Live and learn.

He opened the door of his garden house, glanced around to see if anyone was watching, and when he was satisfied that he wasn’t being observed, stepped inside and closed the door. Pressing a button next to the door, a panel slid open in the floor and he walked down the short flight of stairs until he had reached his underground lab. Flicka was out and about, probably paying Dick a visit in the hospital. He had never understood the guy’s appeal. How he drove all the women on the block crazy. Not just Flicka, but also Joann and especially Sandra.

As he approached the table where he had been cooking up a new batch of the wonder drug that had changed all of their lives, he took a seat and started the usual safety procedures, from time to time casting a glance at the security footage from the camera that was placed at the door to the garden house.

Word on the street was Suzette Doyle had been arrested, along with most of her officers. She only had herself to blame, he thought as he checked the touch screen on the centrifuge and pressed a hand to the stainless steel housing. If only she had listened to him. He had told her specifically not to target Chief Lip. The guy was well-liked and well-connected. Married to the mayor, for crying out loud. If you start harassing a man like that, there will be blowback.

For the next hour or so, he worked diligently, focused and tamping down on his tendency to put productivity over safety. At the end of his session, he had a nice batch of the stuff ready for shipment, all in different colors and his personal imprint, just the way the customers liked.

His phone rang and he pulled down his mask and put the phone to his ear. “Hey, sweetie. Everything all right over there?”

“I’m bored, teddy bear. When are you coming to get me?”

“We need to be careful right now, honey bunch. There’s too much heat on me to leave town right now. And that goes for all of us. Did I tell you the cops have been sniffing around?”

“They’re always sniffing around, but they’ll never catch you, will they, teddy bear? You’re too clever for them.”

“That may be so, but we still need to be careful.”

“I miss you,” she said. “Maybe I shouldn’t have left?”

“You know things were going south fast. This was the only option we had left. And I’ll see you soon,” he promised. “We just need to wait until the dust settles.”

“I guess you know best,” she said with a sigh.

After he hung up, he chuckled. Of all the changes that his life had gone through over the last twelve months, this was definitely the one he hadn’t seen coming. But to say he regretted it would be a lie. Had he loved the life he and Flicka led? Sure. But he liked the future even more.

As he got up to stretch, he punched a button and the panel slid open again. Popping his head up into the garden house, he was surprised to find himself staring at a pair of sturdy army boots. When his eyes slowly traveled up, he gulped as he took in the lean muscular build of the man, the bulging biceps rippling at the cuff of the guy’s black T-shirt, the no-nonsense look on his face and the eyes trained on his.

What disconcerted him the most, though, was the weapon pointed at his chest. It was a large caliber and looked as if it could tear a big hole right through him with no effort at all.

Behind the man, more cops materialized, and they were all armed to the teeth, looking like some kind of SWAT team that had gathered to take him down.

The cop didn’t even have to say the word, for he was already raising his arms over his head.

Looked like Suzette Doyle wasn’t the only one going down today. And as he was handcuffed and led out of the shed, he wondered if she had blabbed, the traitorous wretch.

As he was led to a waiting cop car, he saw that Flicka had also been taken into custody, and so had Grover and Joann, Terence and Sandra, and all the others.

He closed his eyes in dismay.

The gig was up.

CHAPTER 37

The sun was slowly setting, but the enjoyment of our get-together wasn’t diminished by the temperatures gradually dropping to a balmy seventy-seven degrees. It had been a pretty stressful and eventful couple of days, what with Uncle Alec being abducted, and also his mother and her friend Scarlett. Things had moved at a snail’s pace for a long time until finally speeding up and turning our world into a whirlwind. But then isn’t that often the case? First, you think your life is so boring you wish for something—anything—to happen to break the monotony. And then suddenly it’s as if all hell breaks loose and it’s too much of a good thing.

The family sat gathered around the garden table, with Tex Poole cooking up a storm at the grill, the scent wafting from that wonderful invention enough to make all of our mouths water in happy anticipation for the feast that was about to unfold.

The four of us were on the swing with a fifth pet, our esteemed guest. It was none other than Pup. And I have to say that if we were happy with the outcome of the case that was on everyone’s lips right now, Pup was most overjoyed. It was his human, after all, who had been found safe and well in a cabin in the Adirondacks, not far from where Tex had his cabin.

Unfortunately for him, Darlene was in jail right now, but since Pup was a glass-half-full sort of dog, he firmly believed in her innocence and hoped she would be released soon. Until that happened, he was staying with Uncle Alec and Charlene. He must have enjoyed his new temporary home, for he looked as happy as could be.

“Uncle Alec is such a nice man,” he told us, “and Charlene is simply the best human any dog could find. Did you know she goes out of her way to buy me the best food money can buy? And Uncle Alec has been playing with me all the time. Throwing the ball and all!”

We cast a glance at Uncle Alec and Charlene, and I think the same thought went through all of our heads: why did they never play with us? But then I guess we’ve always known those two are dog people. And as everyone knows, you can’t teach a dog person new tricks.

“They all look happy that this ordeal is finally over,” said Dooley, referring to the table full of humans. From the porch swing, we had a perfectly good overview of the proceedings.

“Yeah, they all look extremely relieved,” said Brutus. He turned to me. “One thing still isn’t clear to me, Max. What role did they want Uncle Alec to play in all of these shenanigans?”

“Well, the gang that has been operating out of the Greenleaf neighborhood needed the chief to be on their payroll, so he would turn a blind eye to their criminal activities. They were turning over a new leaf, you see. Not only did they cook up the stuff, but they also wanted to start selling it on the streets of Hampton Cove. Same way they did in the surrounding towns.”

As we had discovered, Dick Bernstein’s neighbors had enjoyed full immunity from the law until now, simply because they had stayed under the radar for so long. Bud Spencer was the leader of the gang. With his degree in chemistry, he had been the perfect person to start a small lab where he cooked up the pills that made him and his neighbors a small fortune. His distribution network stretched to all the neighboring towns, but most importantly Hampton Keys, where Chief Doyle had been one of his first recruits. She took things to the next level by putting her entire police station on Bud’s payroll and turning Hampton Keys into a lucrative market for the man’s wares. He hadn’t dared sell in Hampton Cove, for fear of being caught. But the moment Uncle Alec was part of his network, that was the next thing on his agenda.

Only Uncle Alec wasn’t so easily convinced.

“What about Terence Hill?” asked Harriet. “Why did they have to grab him?”

“Well, Terence was starting to have his doubts about the whole scheme, and especially Bud’s role in it,” I explained.

“Any connection with the fact that Bud had started an affair with Terence’s wife, Darlene?” asked Brutus.

“Yes, that was what irked Terence the most. He hadn’t lied when he told us that his wife had suddenly disappeared. Only she hadn’t been kidnapped but had walked out of her own free will, and into Bud’s arms, who had set her up in his cabin in the mountains.”

“But what about the blood on the sheets?”

“That was Bud’s idea. He figured that suspicion would rest on Terence’s head and the cops would take him in.”

“And they did suspect him,” said Harriet. “But they didn’t arrest him.”

“And he kept making a nuisance of himself,” I said. “So he had to go. Which is why Suzette grabbed him and locked him up. They didn’t need a tattletale. Even though Terence promised he would never tell on their lucrative venture, Bud felt he couldn’t be trusted.”

“And who knocked out Dick Bernstein and why?” asked Brutus.

“That was Bud as well. They had been trying to rope Dick into joining their enterprise, but Dick refused, saying he didn’t want to have any dealings with them, and so Bud was starting to get nervous that Dick would blab, so he decided to send him a warning.”

“Warning received,” said Brutus. “Because Dick didn’t talk. Not even when Marge and the others paid him a visit in the hospital.”

“Yeah, all he said was that there was a lot of jealousy between the neighbors, and they all thought he was having an affair with Joann Hopegood. Which wasn’t true, by the way.”

“So who sent that note to Grover?”

“Sandra. She has always been madly in love with Dick, and couldn’t stand Joann being involved with the man.”

“So looks like all of this jealousy is what finally broke up the gang,” said Harriet.

“Yeah, if only Bud hadn’t decided that having an affair with his neighbor’s wife was a great idea, maybe they would have gone on to produce their poison for years to come.”

“Uncle Alec would never have gone along with their scheme,” said Brutus. “The man is incorruptible. Can’t be bought.”

“That is true enough,” I agreed.

“So… these people were simply drug dealers?” asked Dooley.

“Yes, Dooley,” I said. “They were drug dealers. Or drug manufacturers. They figured that if the South American cartels could get rich off this big market that exists, they might give it a shot as well. And they did make a packet.”

Money that had all been confiscated—or would be soon. The drug lab had been dismantled and of Bud’s empire, nothing would remain. Instead he’d be spending a fair few years behind bars.

“I hope they let Darlene go soon,” said Pup, not for the first time. “She only did what Bud asked her to do. She’s an innocent victim in all of this.”

I didn’t fully agree with him on that. I had the impression that Darlene knew exactly what she did, but since Pup loved his human, I didn’t want to destroy the image he had of her.

“So is Odelia going to buy all of that kibble for Freddy and his family?” asked Dooley. “Isn’t that a whole lot of kibble, Max?”

“That is a whole lot of kibble,” I agreed. “But looks like she will have to buy it. Unless she wants Freddy and his lot to come and stay with us and raid our pantry instead.”

Odelia walked over and presented us with the first morsels of food straight from her dad’s grill. She waited until we had dug in and given our appreciation. I gave it two thumbs up, and so did my friends. Pup swooned. “Oh, God, this is good,” he said. “Can I come and live with you, Odelia?”

Good thing Odelia didn’t understand him, for the last thing we needed was another mouth to feed. Four cats was quite enough for the scrappy reporter and her family.

“Have you been in touch with Freddy?” I asked between two bites.

“Not yet,” she admitted. “What with the wrap-up of the case, I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to drop by the school and feed your rat friends.”

I made a face. “They’re not really my friends, Odelia. They’re collaborators and helped us save Uncle Alec, Gran, and Scarlett.”

“I know, I know,” she said, holding up her hands. “And I’ll get to it eventually, I promise. How many bags do you think I should give them? Half a dozen should suffice, right?”

I stared at her. “They asked for a thousand pounds per person saved, Odelia. You know this. I specifically told you.”

“A thousand pounds of kibble is too much, Max. And besides, how much does a rat need? I figured a couple of bags should be more than enough. Maybe I’ll throw in some Cat Snax.”

With this, she walked away.

“Freddy isn’t going to like this, Max,” said Dooley.

“No, Freddy’s not going to be happy,” Pup chimed in.

“Too darn tootin’ I’m not happy!” suddenly a voice sounded nearby.

When I looked up, I saw that it was Freddy himself. He had emerged from the Trappers’ backyard and looked distinctly dismayed. Behind him, I saw his entire clan.

“What’s with all the rats?” suddenly another voice piped up. It was Ted Trapper, and he didn’t look happy either. “Tex! There’s rats! Lots and lots of rats! What are you cooking?!”

“Rats?” asked Tex. “What are you talking about? I don’t see any… Oh, Christ. It’s rats!” he yelled. “Call the fire department! Call the army! Call the National Guard!”

“I want my kibble,” said Freddy. “Four thousand pounds of it. You made a promise, Max!”

“I thought we agreed on three thousand?” I tried.

“No haggling, Max! It’s a sign of disrespect. Four thousand pounds of kibble, to be delivered to the school. I knew I smelled a rat when a week went by and nothing. Zip!”

“Odelia hasn’t had time,” I explained. “The case has taken up a lot of her attention. She had articles to write, and⁠—”

“All I hear is blah blah blah,” said the rat. “What I want to hear is ‘Freddy, that kibble is on a truck right now, heading for the school. It will be delivered shortly. Like, in the next hour.’”

“You’re on the clock, Max,” Scarface added with a menacing look in my direction.

“Can you promise me that, Maxie baby?” asked Freddy. “Huh?”

“Well…”

“That’s what I thought!” He gestured to his troops. “Okay, raid the place. Start with that grill over there, and then move inside and go through the kitchen. Bring out everything you can find. If that four thousand-pound prize isn’t coming our way, we’ll get it ourselves.”

“But…”

As the rats moved in the direction of Tex’s grill, the doctor was already standing on a chair, squealing like a baby.

“Rats!” he cried. “They’re eating my precious meats!”

“Okay, all right!” Odelia yelled. “I’ll get you your food, all right? How many bags did you say?”

“Um, like, a hundred?” I said sheepishly. “The biggest bags you can find?” Clearly I wasn’t a great negotiator, or I would have been able to bring that number down significantly.

“Okay, consider it done,” said Odelia. “Charlene. Uncle Alec. I need a hundred big bags of kibble. Can you help out?”

“Absolutely,” said Charlene. She could have asked a million questions, and probably they all occurred to her at that moment. But having been part of our family for a little while now, she didn’t ask even a single one. She got up, took out her phone, and started calling around to arrange Freddy’s prize.

Freddy held up his paw and uttered a single yell. As one rat, the rest of the rat pack all stopped attacking the grill and moving into the house.

“The food is coming,” I promised. “For real this time, Freddy.”

He gave me an icy smile. “I knew I could count on you, Maxie baby.” He held out a paw. “Nice doing business with you, pardner.”

I gingerly touched his paw, and watched as he gave the order for the rats to retreat.

Once again, they passed through Ted’s backyard, something our neighbor wasn’t all that happy with, I have to say. Then again, I guess rare are the homeowners who welcome a horde of rats traveling across their private property.

“You handled that well, Max,” said Dooley, admiration clear in his voice.

“I didn’t handle anything,” I said. “Odelia did, and Charlene.”

“Where did you get all of that food all of a sudden?” asked Marge.

“Emergency rations,” said Charlene. “They’re in the basement of Town Hall.”

“You got a lot of rations there, have you?” asked Gran, interested.

“Oh, absolutely. For emergencies, you know. Though fingers crossed we’ll never need them.”

As I glanced over to the fence that divides our property from the Trappers’, I saw that Freddy had been listening intently to Charlene’s explanation. His eyes were glittering, and when he caught sight of me, he gave me a wink and then disappeared.

Looked like Charlene’s emergency stock wouldn’t be there for much longer.

“I’m full,” said Brutus as he rubbed his tummy happily.

“Me too,” said Harriet. “And that’s not a good thing, because when the producers come calling, they’ll want me to look my best. They might even ask me to slim down.”

“No producers are going to come calling, sugar britches,” said Brutus. But when she gave him a look that could kill, he quickly amended his statement. “Just kidding, sugar lips. I’m sure that when they do come calling, they’ll be more than happy with the way you look.”

“An action star has to look ready for action, lemon drop,” she said. “And so I figured I should probably start on some kind of program. Martial arts, you know. Like Krav Maga.”

A look of panic slid up Brutus’s face.

“You should all join me, of course,” said Harriet. “As my co-stars, you need to look as good as I do. Except for Pup. Nobody expects a puppy to perform dangerous stunts.”

“Oh, but I want to do my own stunts,” Pup assured her. “I think it will be great fun.”

We all stared at him. “Great fun?” I asked quietly. “Pup, please don’t encourage her. You don’t know what she’s like.”

“Why? I think it will be so much fun if we all train together and learn this Krav Maga.”

“I would like to learn Krav Maga,” said Dooley. “What is Krav Maga, Max?”

“Um…” I gulped. The last thing I needed was some taxing training program.

“Just so you know, I’ve already arranged a private teacher for us,” said Harriet, in rapture with her own brilliance as usual. “A teacher who knows how to kick ass. Guess who I found?”

“Hello, fellas,” a booming voice sounded next to me.

I yelped in surprise. And yelped even louder when I saw that an old friend had joined us on the swing. It was none other than… Rambo, the 200-pound retired police dog.

“I’ll be your teacher from now on,” Rambo said, slobber already dripping from his lips and forming a small puddle on the swing. He noisily sniffed the air. “Is that… steak?”

“It might be,” I said carefully.

He smiled. “Feed me,” he said simply.

Oh boy.

THE END

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ABOUT NIC

Nic has a background in political science and before being struck by the writing bug worked odd jobs around the world (including but not limited to massage therapist in Mexico, gardener in Italy, restaurant manager in India, and Berlitz teacher in Belgium).

When he’s not writing he enjoys curling up with a good (comic) book, watching British crime dramas, French comedies or Nancy Meyers movies, sampling pastry (apple cake!), pasta and chocolate (preferably the dark variety), twisting himself into a pretzel doing morning yoga, going for a brisk walk, and spoiling his feline assistants Lily and Ricky.

He lives with his wife (and aforementioned cats) in a small village smack dab in the middle of absolutely nowhere and is probably writing his next ‘Mysteries of Max’ book right now.

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Copyright © 2025 by Nic Saint. All rights reserved.

Published by Puss in Books.

Edited by Chereese Graves.

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