[19:56]Astolfo the Rider: "I will regale you, then, with my journey with the Norsemen! A journey across the Atlantic, a journey of love and vengeance! An epic journey spanning the world as we know it, and then a bit more.~"

[19:57]*Astolfo the Rider POSES DRAMATICALLY TO TRANSITION INTO THE ACTUAL STORY.

[20:00]Astolfo the Rider: "A maiden, a Viking Princess. Fierce, primal, terrible. Flowers of ice in her hair, shining gold like fields of wheat. Wielding an axe as large as me, a woman who took no quarter and expected none. A Warrior Princess who raided Christendom with savage intent... and when I saw her, I was struck by the madness that is love! I, Astolfo, Twelfth Paladin of Charlemagne, found myself madly in love with a heathen woman, before I even knew her name! We met on the field of battle, fighting for our lives... yet when our eyes met, all the world stopped for a moment, and we rushed towards each other, not to strike one another down, but to embrace and make love, completely forgetting what we had come to that blood soaked field to do."

[20:05]Astolfo the Rider: "And yet, even the purity of true romance could not stop the horrors of war! Arrows flew around us, and we had to return to the field of battle. Not to kill, or to conquer, but to defend ourselves and our new romance, to protect the peace we suddenly desired so desperately! It was a difficult affair, trying to calm hordes of bloodthirsty men. Many of them did not survive. But, at last, we were able to soothe the armies, and set them on a far more important endeavor: to attend our engagement, of course!"

[20:07]Astolfo the Rider: "As per her people's custom, we would travel to her homeland, where the chiefs of her clan would judge whether I would be a fitting husband. The journey was long, treacherous. Many a brave soul was lost to the uncaring fury of the sea and the storm. But we held on, and we arrived at the gates of the Viking homelands. But there, we were in for quite a shock!"

"[20:10]Astolfo the Rider: "For you see, the Princess's father was a giant. An old, dour man, who had lost his human wife long ago, long before even my time. When he looked upon our marriage, when he saw his daughter in the arms of a foreign groom, he found himself jealous! Others shared our love, but the princess's father, no, when he looked at us he could only see the love that he had lost, the pain of old wounds opened once again. And so he tried to have me killed. Not directly, of course: the old giant was far more sophisticated than that, I assure you! And he would never want his beloved daughter to know that he wanted her lover dead. He must have thought he was doing what was best for his girl, even though his mind was driven by other things entirely."

[20:13]Astolfo the Rider: "He had me battle champions of his clan, even of other clans. Had me prove myself worthy to marry his daughter through trial and tribulation. Many foes were felled. Relics recovered. I believe I even helped a cousin of his propose herself, at one point! Though I did not expect that she would have her eyes set on a daughter of the Norsemen's fabled World-Snake Jormungandr. My, I think I almost fainted! Old giants have strange tastes, huh?" He blinks. Then coughs. "AHEM!"

[20:17]Astolfo the Rider: "Anyways! When he saw that he could not rid me through danger, through adventure, through mortal peril, the cunning old father Giant saw fit to stall the engagement until he could manufacture an incident that would cast me out of his homeland. Though I had learned many things of that princess's people, there were many things I did not know- things he took advantage of to lure me into committing a great offense which could only be mended through such drastic measures as death... or exile. Of course, my Warrior Princess refused to allow the former, and she would go wherever I went. I do not think he expected her to love me so much! But, in any event, now he had banished his own daughter, and that would not do. I do believe he vowed to rescue her from my foreign, filthy hands. Quite a sight he was, his anger so terrible- to this day, though, I think he was angry at himself, not at me. Either way, we fled from those lands, with an army on our heels, led by the giant himself, led by her very father~"

[20:20]Astolfo the Rider: "And we fled far, we fled wide. This is where our story REALLY begins! The journey across the ocean of Atlantis, far to the west to lands unknown, lands where we hoped we could find peace from our pursuers. But that giant was stubborn. He was patient, he was wise, he would not be beaten easily. And most of all, we were but myself, my love, and a handful of crew in the finest longboat we could steal, where he had the expertise of his whole clan to call upon. It was a flight doomed to failure." So grim! So serious!

[20:24]Astolfo the Rider: "Even so! My love and I sailed far to the west, making only the barest stops upon unknown islands, consulting strange oracles, letting ourselves be guided by the rolls of bones and the wild winds of fortune. At last, we arrived in a new world, a cold, snowy land of forests and wonder. We were tired, thirsty, and all but starving, with a fleet on our heels bent on revenge."

[20:26]Astolfo the Rider: "Though barely able to stand, I turned to face the giant and his army, to shield my lover from them. But she refused, insisted on shielding me. A warrior to the end. We squabbled and argued, each trying to sacrifice ourselves so that the other might live. And while we argued, the giant's army came upon us."

[20:28]Astolfo the Rider: "They surrounded us, but only the giant himself came forward. His eyes were reddened with rage, his breath wild with his passion. His savage fury fell upon me, but before I could stop her, that princess of his leaped to block his hammer with her axe, and the father and daughter fell upon each other in mortal combat while I could only stand and stare."

[20:28]Astolfo the Rider: "That battle lasted for half a day. Steel rang, blood spilled. The very ground sank from how hard they stepped upon it. I do not know everything that transpired between them, but I do know that when the sun set, the two of them were dead in each other's arms. I should hope they found their glorious battle together in Valhalla."

[20:30]Astolfo the Rider: "Stricken with grief, every person who witnessed that sight- myself included- let out a great, wailing cry. Seven days we mourned the brave princess and her loving father. Seven nights we ate, drank, and sobbed in each other's arms, regretting the tragedy, the things that had brought us here. At the end of those seven days..."

[20:33]Astolfo the Rider: "The Norsemen finally retired. Some headed back to their home, others decided to stay in this strange new world. As for me, well... I had to get home too. But without the guidance of that warrior princess, I did not think I could sail back the way I came. They would surely look upon me with suspicion at best, and at worst, I imagine I would be thrown overboard in the night without her protection. But as I, Astolfo, wondered what to do... sitting by a great red pine tree, staring into the unfamiliar waves, up at a set of stars I did not quite know..."

[20:37]Astolfo the Rider: "A great shape arose from the waves, a long, serpentine figure. Miles upon miles of tail, scales that were harder than iron, yet would bend like a willow long before they would break. Fangs each as large as my body, hands that could crush me like a bug. Eyes that pierced my very soul with their age, their terrible power.... and a face of beauty- atop this world-spanning serpent was the body of a beautiful giant, a sweet woman with a kind soul in spite of her monstrous form. Remember that daughter of the World Serpent that I helped the giant's cousin propose to? This is her."

[20:38]Astolfo the Rider: "She was not here to love me, of course. She was quite happy with that cousin, and regaled me with tales of their life together in their palaces of snow and ice. No, she was here to thank me for introducing her to such a sweet and wonderful lady- and to guide me home."