Demencia sips on a soda through a straw while looking over the empty track where the race had started. "So what do we do, just wait?"

One of the mechanic-bots nods his head.

Demencia finishes her soda while the mechanic-bot nods, then tosses the empty bottle over her shoulder. "This is boring. I'm going to go looking for trouble. Maybe I'll cause some."


Goemon's two boys are wrestling. The older boy Roshi pins the younger boy Suki, then gives him a hand up and a lesson. "Do you know what your mistake was?"

Suki nods. "Yes." 

Roshi: "Tell me."

Suki: "When I stepped to the right, you were ready for it."

Roshi: "Why was I ready for it?"

Suki: "Because we both use that maneuver often."

Roshi: "Why else was I ready for it?"

Suki: "I... set my feet in preparation. You could predict what I would do."

Roshi nods. "Yes." He releases his younger brother.

Suki stands up. "Another rematch?"

Roshi. "Sure." 

Suki attempts a leg sweep. Roshi jumps over it and kicks Suki in the shoulder, knocking him to the ground. "Nice try." He offers his brother a hand up.

Demencia happens to see them. "Are you guys fighting? Can I fight you? I'm great at fighting! I'll probably fight you because I'm bored and I want to fight someone."

Roshi and Suki share a glance at each each. Suki steps away as Roshi answers Demencia's challenge.

"If you would like to practice with us, you may." 

Demencia: "Practice? Yeah, sure. I'll practice this." She charges forward with a grin on her face.

Cut to a sequence of three cards of Demencia and the boys fighting. Overlaid voices include Demencia laughing, the boys grunting as she hits and throws them, Roshi saying "you are very strong!", Demencia answering "I know!", and Suki shouting "Go easy on us! We're only kids!" One of the cards has Demencia grabbing Suki with her hair while wrestling Roshi with her arms. 


505 stands by the pitting area with the mechanic hat-bots, watching over the empty racetrack. He looks up the track in the forward direction. Seeing nothing there, he then looks in the other direction. He thinks he might see something. He blinks. Down the road is a small cloud of dust and the glint of metal. Curious, 505's eyes widen. He leans forward and shades his eyes with an arm. It is now possible to see Greed Racer's car in the lead. Other cars follow. 505 smiles widely.

The younger announcer speaks in a voiceover. "The lead cars are entering their second lap! Greed Racer is in the lead by a mile!"

The older announcer corrects him. "It's about 15 yards."

Briefly cut to an overhead view of the cars as the younger announcer continues. "Following him are Jackson DuBoit and Mr. Slippery. And it's a long gap to the next group of cars. Here they come. In fourth place for now is the White Knuckle. And behind him are Goemon Nasai, Doctor Flug, and the Ice Queen."

505 cheers and raises an arm as he sees Flug's car. Greed's car then zooms by him, followed by Jackson's car and Mr. Slippery's Aston Martin. 

Older announcer: "The Monster Mauler is falling behind. Jack Reaper's big car may not be able to keep up with the lighter vehicles."

Younger announcer: "He may have used all of his Monster Juice on the first lap."

Older announcer: "That would be a rare miscalculation on his part. He usually has a plan."

Younger announcer: "And at the very end of the pack, Hassan bin Deriyet is allowing the Mysterious Masked Mutt to pass him while he is slowing down to pit. With the damage to his car, he is probably out of the race."

Older announcer: "He's not out of the race yet. Have a look at that."

Hassan's pit crew has a second Double Humper ready and waiting for Hassan. They open the driver's door for him and step away as his damaged car arrives. 

Younger announcer: "Is that a backup car? He has a double of the Double Humper!"

The Double Humper pulls out of the pit and onto the road. 

Older announcer: "Hassan is back in the race, and now everyone is in in their second lap with the exception of Thunder King who may have hurt his leg in that nasty crash. They're taking him into town to be checked out."

Younger announcer: "There are 99 more laps to go, and hopefully every one of them will be as exciting as this one!"
(^^^ older writing above, a few years of writer’s block in the middle, new writing below vvv)

Use a fading diagonal cut to the next scene. 

The two announcers appear bored as they sit in their booth. The younger announcer drums his fingers, and then speaks. "Okay, the third lap is not that exciting. Not much of anything is happening right now."

"Wait!" The older announcer sits up and leans forward as the race attracts his attention. "Jannsen is..."

"She is?" the younger announcer says, eagerly alerting to his partner's words.

"No, she is not," the older announcer sadly concludes as he relaxes in his chair. 

The younger announcer explains for the audience what the two of them had seen, since his superior had forgotten to do that. "We thought that the Ice Queen might have tried to pull up on Black Hat, but she pulled back."

The older announcer gasps at what he now sees in the race. He quickly grabs his microphone and begins announcing. "Also pulling back is the Monster Mauler! Jack Reaper has burned through all of his Monster Juice and is falling into the third group of cars, the ones that are in about eighth to fifteenth place. And..."

As the forward cars in the group reach the Monster Mauler, Reaper's car swerves left and right to knock them off of the road.

The older announcer pretends to give Reaper the benefit of the doubt. "Reaper has unfortunately collided with the lead car in the group. And the next one. And the one after that."

"He is smashing them up!" the younger announcer exclaims. 

On the road, the Monster Mauler swerves leftward toward the Red Light's car. The Red Light slows down to pull back and avoid a collision.

The older announcer announces. "The Red Light hit the brakes! He is letting the Monster Mauler pull ahead." 

The younger announcer contributes his opinion. "He is staying out of that mess, and I do not blame him."

The older announcer continues. "In the meantime, we have lost three drivers who we have not mentioned before and we will not need to since it does not look like they will be coming back to the race."

On the road, the Red Light flashes the four cars behind him with his bright rear lights. The cars wobble, and the two in the rear crash into the two in front. 

The younger announcer raises the count. "Seven."

The older announcer sees for himself. "It is seven. Another four drivers crashed into each other during the chaos. We lost nearly a quarter of our racers in one incident," he says with astonishment.

The younger announcer speaks. "Let us hope that the other three-quarters of our racers are doing better."

On the road, Greed Racer is doing quite well. He is ahead by over ten car lengths and has the smug grin of a man who knows that he has already won. He is slightly perturbed when Jack Reaper's voice speaks over the radio. 

"Hey, Greed. This is Reaper. You will be happy to know that I cleared out some of the field for you."

Greed angrily grits his teeth and reaches for the radio to respond. After turning it on, he changes his mind and turns it off. "No. He wants me to respond. He wants to distract me from the race." With his usual determination, he concentrates on the road ahead of him. "I won't let him! I will focus on the race and win this race no matter what Reaper is doing. I will simply ignore him, and win!" He turns on the nitro and accelerates. "Greed Racer always wins!" 

The older announcer speaks. "Greed Racer just hit the nitro! He is already ahead by a lot, and he is pulling even further ahead!"

The younger announcer ponders Greed's motives. "Usually nitro is conserved for when you need an extra boost of speed. I wonder what he is thinking by using it now."

The older announcer makes a guess. "I think that he is thinking of simply finishing the race more quickly than anyone else."

"That is usually how one wins a car race," the younger announcer states the obvious.

"Yes," the older announcer tentatively agrees, "but some of these drivers have alternate strategies." 


The Mysterious Masked Mutt looks in his left side mirror to see Hassan bin Deriyet and the Double Humper pulling up toward him. He growls, and then reaches into his glove box to retrieve a box of nails. The grinning Mutt dumps the nails out of his window and chuckles victoriously for a brief moment before acknowledging the popping sound and 'flububub' of his own flattened left rear tire.

Hassan's car pulls to the side of the road with all four tires pierced by the nails. He steps out of the car with a roll of duct tape in his hands.

Greed Racer's car approaches. He sees Hassan parked at the side of the road, withdrawing a tire pump from beside the missile launcher in his car's opened rear hump. He then looks ahead at the road and sees the glints of sunlight reflecting off metal. "There are nails on the road!" Greed hovers a finger over the buttons on his steering wheel and presses one of them at the right time. Greed's car leaps into the air to pass over the hazard, then lands and passes by the slowing Mutt's car.

A fair distance behind him, Jackson DuBoit sees the car leap into the air. "Thanks for the warning. Now what's the problem?"

Mr. Slippery sends a message over the radio. "Control, there appears to be a hazard on the road. I will follow Mr. DuBoit."

A fair distance behind them, Dr. Flug watches Goemon and the White Knuckle pull to the side and line up directly behind Mr. Slippery and Jackson DuBoit. He looks in his rear view mirror and sees the Ice Queen doing the same.

"Why is everyone moving to the side and slowing down?" he wonders aloud while Goemon and the White Knuckle allow him to pass them. He looks at the road ahead and now sees the glint that he did not see before. "Oh. There are nails in the road." With no time to react, his car drives straight over them. "... and I think I hit every one of them. Hopefully the self-sealing tires will work. They worked when I tested them in the lab."

Flug now begins to worry. "However, that was not under realistic conditions! The tests in the lab did not account for the slight expansion of the tire material under the heat produced by the friction of the tires against the road, and they did not count for the increase in air pressure inside the tires caused by the weight of the car pressing them down into the road and compressing the shape of the tire! Either of these flaws could lead to a critical failure!"

The nervous Flug says nothing for a few seconds. He notices no change in his car's speed. "Or.. maybe the self-sealing tires worked... and are still working. For now. I think that I will pit on the next lap and replace my tires so that I stop worrying about them. The tires will wear down more the longer that I drive on them, and the seals around the damage are likely to fail before the rest of the tire."


At the next opportunity, Flug drives into the pit to have his tires replaced. The hat-mechanic bots work very quickly and soon have new tires installed. In the background, 505 examines a nail-studded tire, pulls out one of the nails, and pops it into his mouth. 

While the hat-mechanics are working, Demencia hops onto the hood of the car to complain. "Flugie, I'm bored. What can I do? I haven't beaten anyone up in five minutes." 

Flug impatiently raises his voice at her. "You can watch the race! And not from on top of the car! You are extra weight and you will put the car off-balance! Now move. I am getting back onto the road." As Flug begins to drive the car out of the pit, Demencia climbs into the passenger seat.

Demencia settles into the seat and smiles at the annoyed Flug who concentrates on the road and hopes not be too distracted by her to drive the race. His hope survives for a few seconds before Demencia begins making conversation. "I can watch the race much better from where you are driving it than from where the side of the road where I cannot see you when you are on the other side of Alejandro's Butte." She pauses for a moment. "Butte is German for 'butt'. You taught me that!" 

Rather than tell Demencia not to touch anything, which would lead to Demencia touching everything, Flug gives her a task. "Some of these other drivers are as dirty as us. I am going to try to pass one of them. While my eyes are on the road, you should keep an eye on him and any other cars in the area, and let me know if they attempt anything malicious."

Demencia smiles and salutes him. "Aye aye Capitan!" She keeps her hand to her brow to shade her eyes as she looks around. "I don't see anyone else nearby. It's just him. And he is fooling around with something inside his car."

In the car ahead, the Mysterious Masked Mutt takes a can of oil, holds it outside the window, and pours it onto the road.

Demencia continues reporting. "And now he's fooling around with something outside his car. And he's a dog! He looks fluffy. I want to brush his hair! I wonder if he has fleas?" 

Flug adds something that she missed. "And there is an oil slick on the road."

Demencia acknowledges that."Oh yeah, that too." She glances backward. "I think we passed it." She briefly glances at Flug before facing forward again. "I think you drove through it, but we haven't gone out of control and crashed or anything."

Flug is unconcerned. "This car has fresh tires that are designed to go through an oil slick without slipping, and I think the oil went between them. I don't think that I hit it. Now as for Mister Mysterious Mutt..." He reaches for a switch on the car's dashboard and flips it. The car's engine roars as it accelerates.

Demencia grins. "How are you going to get him back for that oil trick? What cool weapons do you have in that front section that we don't have an engine in? Which one will you use to punish him?"

Flug speaks calmly. "I will pass him."

Demencia is surprised by that answer. "What? That's it?"

The Black Hat car passes by the Mutt's car. 

A surprised Demencia looks back. "You let him go. Why did you let him go?"

Flug has his reasons. "The Mutt is not a serious threat. We should save our tricks for those that are."

Demencia gasps and smiles. "You have a plan!" 

Flug sighs. "I wish that I did. I am kind of winging it as I go."

Demencia speaks while the Black Hat car passes another anonymous driver. "And this car can go!" She points at the speedometer. "That is a big number that says how much 'go' it has."

"That is correct," Flug says as the car drives onward. 


Far ahead, the driver of an Aston Martin watches Greed Racer's car turn toward the pit stops. The Aston Martin turns to follow while its driver Mr. Slippery reports in to his controller over the radio. "Greed Racer is moving to the pit stop. I shall pit as well. Prepare petrol for the Aston Martin."

Greed Racer pulls into the pit and speaks to his crew. "I don't need tires yet. Just gas and nitro." He sees that his sister had been rolling out a fresh tire, and is now putting it back. "Sis, you're not part of the pit crew. I appreciate that you're willing to help, but these guys are the best in the world. You can leave it to them."

His sister has bad news to report. "Most of the pit crew is in the hospital."

"What?" Greed is shocked.

His sister attempts to suppress her anger at the betrayal. "It was Black Hat."

Greed makes no attempt to suppress his anger as he slams a fist down on the dashboard. "Black Hat! I will get them for this."

"No!" his sister urges him. "Do not do anything that distracts you from winning the race."

Taking deep breaths to calm himself, Greed regains his composure. "Right. You are right. This is my race to win, and I will win it!" 

One of the pit crew members speaks. "You're good to go."

Greed Racer smiles and gives his crewman a thumbs-up as he drives away. As he pulls onto the track, he shouts eagerly. "Greed Racer always wins!"