KOCHIKAME
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, here it is!
Big waves, small waves,< i>tiny waves and middle-size waves
Here they come on the southern wind
Big boobs, small boobs,< i>tiny boobs and middle-size boobs
At the beach< i>Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle!
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived,< i>it's here already!
Big waves, small waves,< i>tiny waves and middle-size waves
Here they come on the southern wind
Big butts, small butts,< i>tiny butts and middle-size butts
At the beach< i>Bounce, bounce, bounce!
Here they come on the southern wind
Bouncing at the beach< i>Jiggling at the beach
Want you!
A VISIT TO THE NAKAGAWA RESIDENCE
Hey, guys. I'm going to order some lunch. What does everyone want?
I'll have pork noodles and dumplings.
I'll have liver and chives, please.
Fried rice for me.
And Ryo-chan?
It's the day before payday, so just ramen and rice, right?
Ryo-chan, what are you doing?
Surely you're not on a diet?
Oh, how silly of me! You'd never do anything like that.
As if I'd go on a diet!
I'm just exercising to make myself hungry, that's all!
Oh? So you're not hungry?
I never said that.
It's for that party tonight at Nakagawa's.
Oh, that's right.
Hey, Nakagawa. You've got some great food planned for tonight, don'tcha?
Absolutely. Several top chefs will be pulling out all the stops.
We don't get to eat food like that often, do we?
So you want to keep room for that?
Damn straight! Not to brag, but I haven't eaten a thing for two days!
You moron. How do you expect to work on an empty stomach?
You should at least eat lunch.
You may be the chief, but you have no right to tell your workers when to eat.
And you. Noodles and dumplings are filling. You sure you wanna eat that?
You'll be too full for the party.
Hmm, you might be right.
Reiko, scratch the dumplings. Just get the pork noodles.
Oh, okay.
Me too. Forget the liver and chives. I'll just have ramen.
Okay, I got it.
Say, Nakagawa. What's this party for, anyway?
It's a birthday party for the Prince of Hondara.
Hondara?
It's a small country. Not many have heard of it.
My father's old friends with their king,
so when they come to Japan, they come and stay with us.
"NAKAGAWA EXIT 500 M"
I've never ridden in such a wide Ferrari before.
I asked the chairman of Ferrari to make me one with a wide body.
Isn't it illegal to take up two lanes like this?
Don't worry. This is a private road owned by the Nakagawa family.
What did you say?
We just turned off at the "Nakagawa Exit."
Don't tell me it's named after your family?
It is. We had that exit made specifically for our house.
Eh?!
More importantly, are we still not there yet?
I'm dying of starvation here.
Well, technically we're here.
What? I don't see any houses here. Just a wall that goes on forever.
That's the wall around our house.
What?!
How large exactly is the property?
Around 100 times the size of Disneyland, I think?
What?!
If it's so big, why don't you have multiple ways of getting in?
The property has 12 entrances in total.
Right now, we're heading for Mitoko Gate, which is the closest one.
Mitoko Gate?
There are others. There's Gaisen Gate, Seishunno Gate, and Kinokuniya Bunzae Gate.
Huh...
Master Keiichi has arrived.
Well, here we are. I'll speed up a little.
Huh?
What's wrong?
I think I'm lost.
But this is your property!
I'll turn on the GPS.
Please confirm your destination.
What sort of person needs a GPS to get around his own property...
Oh, look! There's the house now.
It looks as big as your house, Chief.
Pretty puny on such a big plot.
Excuse me?
I think it's a splendid house.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's the doghouse.
So the chief's got a 20-year mortgage on what's essentially a doghouse?
Ryo-san...
You laugh too much.
What... in... the... hell?!
This is your house?
Yes. Well, one of the wings, to be more precise.
My parents live in that house over there.
And my sister lives in that one there.
What humble beginnings you come from.
Come on in.
This is your living room?
Oh! Look at that!
Wow! It's a classic arcade game!
And it's black-and-white with colored cellophane!
This is amazing!
He even has a pool!
Well, that's actually the bathtub.
The pool's over here.
The bathtub is moving?
No, it's this whole room that's moving.
The room?
This beats even amusement park pools.
There's a golf course! And even an airport!
Yes! 50,000 points!
You're no match for my Nagoya Attack!
Let's just ignore him.
What's wrong?
What happened?
May I come in?
Yes, come in.
Reiko-san, that dress looks good on you.
Thanks.
Why do we have to dress in such stuffy clothes?
There'll be a lot of important people at this party.
Just hang in there.
Either way, Ryotsu, you look the same even when you're wearing a tuxedo.
None of your business!
What's happening? An earthquake?!
Everyone, keep calm!
Us police officers must remain calm and collected no matter the circumstances!
It's not an earthquake.
It's just the elevator.
What? You're telling me this entire room is an elevator?
So my house is smaller than an elevator, is it?
-Welcome. -Welcome.
Sure are a lot of people.
Oh, look! Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto is here.
And over there is Sara Takaoka from that hair product commercial,
and there's Chief's favorite, Saburo Kitajima!
I'll ask for an autograph later.
Oh man.
Now then. Where's the food?
Ryotsu, wait!
What is it?
I'd like to introduce you to the Prince of Hondara.
Hey, Prince Hondara!
Oh, Keiichi!
Happy birthday!
Thank you!
I was expecting a prince charming, but it's just some porky kid.
Ryo-chan!
What is it?
Now, now, Your Highness. Allow me to introduce my coworkers.
This is my boss, Chief Ohara.
Nice to meet you.
And my senior, Ryotsu-san.
Allô, allô! Je t'aime! Ten and ten is twenty, twenty and twenty is forty.
What's this old codger goin' on about?
The prince is fluent in Japanese.
Seriously?! Why didn't you say so?
Behold! I am the man, the one, who will bear Japan into the future!
Kankichi Ryotsu!
This gorilla tells really lame jokes.
Says the little piglet!
Who you callin' a piglet?!
Now, now. This is your birthday party, so let's all try to have a good time.
Now that we're done with introductions, I'm getting out of here.
Please pay him no mind, Your Highness. He's just an idiot.
That stupid gorilla!
Hey, chef. Give me ten plates of tuna and sea urchin sushi.
Sorry, but I'm not to serve food until the prince blows out his birthday candles.
I haven't eaten anything in two days! Help a guy out!
Give him what he wants.
Oh, my Prince!
I will allow it. Let him eat.
Hey, you really are a good little dude.
What is it?
I simply told him to make something extra nice for Keiichi's senior.
Hey, you'll be a great king one day!
Go on, then. Snap snap.
Sure!
Here you go.
Oh, this tuna looks tasty!
Mmm, that's good stuff.
Wasabi!
He fell for it, hook, line, and stinker! That's for insulting me!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the prince will now blow out the candles!
Your Highness, will you please come this way?
Comin'!
You won't get away with this!
Cheeky brats like him need to know their place.
Happy birthday!
Your Highness!
Now!
You missed.
How could you do that to the prince?!
It was just a joke.
You'll regret this, you dumb gorilla!
Excuse me, Master Keiichi.
What?!
There are intruders at the party?
It looks to be the work of Hondaran dissidents.
That means...
What's wrong, Nakagawa?
Chief, we have a problem.
The prince is being targeted by terrorists.
What?!
All right!
Let's start with some Chinese food.
One of these...
And one of these...
And this...
And this, and this, and this...
Yes, that'll do for now.
Thanks for the grub.
Why you...! Hold it right there!
I'm so hungry I don't even have the energy to run.
Aim carefully this time.
I know.
Let's find those terrorists as soon as possible.
And Ryo-chan?
He wouldn't be of any use anyway.
We have to ensure the safety of the guests first.
-Right. -Right.
I touched it first!
No, I did!
You stand before a prince, sir!
Forget royalty. This is food!
This meat is mine!
Yes! It's mine!
What's wrong?
What happened?
Everyone, you're all in danger! Please get on the ground.
There are terrorists among us!
My meat!
My meat...
That's my meat!
Damn it. Missed again.
Only one way forward.
We go inside and take them all out.
Right.
What's going on?
What is this?
Please remain calm.
The center of the room is simply moving underground.
We'll be safe.
No! My food!
You gotta be kidding! I still haven't eaten anything yet!
-Ryo-chan! -Ryotsu!
Ryo-chan, get down here!
Forget him.
It's the prince they're after.
As long as the prince is safe...
Your Highness!
This could not get any worse.
Hey, let go of me!
I am not letting you eat anything!
You idiot! Stop that!
The last plate!
Still want it?
Come here, you!
Ryotsu! Your Highness!
Please evacuate immediately!
I'm busy right now!
Oh, it's my favorite! A whole roast chicken!
What?
I found it first!
It's a dog-eat-dog world, kid!
You moron! This is no time for that!
They're coming!
They're here!
Hands up!
You idiot! What did I just say? I'm busy!
Now you've done it!
Don't ignore us!
My chicken!
Damn it!
My roast chicken!
-Hold it right there! -Hey! That's mine!
-Son of a...! -Take us for fools, huh?
I got it!
It's mine!
Where's the chicken?
Now!
What the...?
It's sleeping gas. That should be enough.
All right! Time to cuff them.
My roast chicken... Where did it go?
Your Highness.
My chicken!
Your Highness, have you seen these men before?
-Chief! -Tough luck, huh?
Don't move.
Drop your weapons and raise your hands.
End of the line. Time to say your goodbyes.
Don't worry, Your Highness. If Ryotsu can just flip that switch...
Not here. It's not here! Where's my roast chicken?!
Where could it be? My roast chicken!
He's probably still looking for that stupid roast chicken.
Surely not...
What are you whispering about? Saying your final prayers?
You should be, because it's time to die!
There it is! My roast chicken! Get in my belly!
Yay!
Ryotsu!
What just happened?
Ryotsu activated the trapdoor switch.
He did?
My roast chicken... Where did it go?
There it is!
You did it, Ryo-chan! You're a hero!
You saved our lives there.
Thank you, Ryo-san!
Oh, it was nothing.
Huh? What's this?
Oh no, that's...
Take cover!
He pushed the emergency self-destruct button.
"POLICE HOSPITAL"
Here, you deserve this award.
You did great, Ryotsu.
Huh, I don't want that.
I want that roast chicken! And sushi! I want the whole feast!
Guess he's still upset at not getting to eat anything at the party.
Here, for you.
Huh? You?
Thank you for saving my life.
We had a right old laugh last night. So this is to thank you.
Oh, Your Highness!
You're too kind.
Wasabi!
You fell for it again!
What a stupid gorilla!
You damn brat!
TODAY'S DAMAGE REPORT
ONE WING OF THE NAKAGAWA MANSION
Hey, guys! Kankichi Ryotsu is a genuine Tokyoite!
I'm always ready to fight fires, argue, or eat sushi!
No true Tokyoite would bathe in such lukewarm water! Heat this up, now!
You call this hot?
NEXT EPISODE CLASH OF THE TOKYOITES!
Don't miss it!
Let's keep smiling always
Even when things go wrong
Keep a pretty smile on your face
And go out as if nothing happened
Hey, show me your smile
You did nothing wrong
Hey, show me your smile
Just like you did before, yeah
I want you to smile always
A woman with a frown isn't pretty
So you should smile as soon as you can
It's the grown-up thing to do
KOCHIKAME SEE YOU NEXT TIME!