...don't light a match or lighter!
Loosen your ties and collars. All sharp objects, like
fountain pens, spectacles, dentures etc. Should be removed.
You could be harmed by those.
Please take off your shoes,
put the backrest into a vertical position.
Please fasten the seatbelts in a way that they embrace the back bone tightly.
Approximately 30 seconds before landing, we will give you a sign.
The "No smoking" sign will flash various times.
With that sign flashing, you should bend over at once,
embracing your knees tightly.
We will provide blankets and cushions, so you can protect your head and face.
Don't place yourself in an upright position until the plane stands still.
We have to deal with several thrusts while landing.
Don't unlock the seatbelts before this.
Leave the plane by using the doors and emergency exits.
We'll show them to you now and we'll also explain how to open them.
Please take a look at the... - The machine is crashing!
The machine is crashing!!
Don't you hear me?
...calmly, and follow the orders of the staff.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we ask for absolute attention!
A motor is burning and endangers the plane.
The captain is able to...
At the next tone it is:
6 hrs, 14min and 40sec!
Buckl?
Hi there, this is Sylvie!
Excuse me to ring you this early,
but... I can't take the plane.
I just had a dream that the plane will crash.
And this time it WILL crash, I am sure.
I had this dream many times before.
Yes!
But even I would come,
all the pics would be bad.
I'm totally frightened, looking like a scarecrow.
Yes.
I'm even on the bring to let it all go.
I think that I can't do it anymore.
Miss Winter!
Miss Winter!!
Telephone! Your agency!
Pit? Listen, this is Sylvie!
You have to cancel the job in New York.
I'm looking just terrible. I can't work anymore.
This will be the last thing to happen.
Oh my, she's just nuts as usual.
Flight 431 to Hamburg...
Gate B11...
Excuse me! - Sorry.
We ask our passengers to stop smoking
and to fasten the seatbelts while starting...
Excuse me, will you please fasten the seat belt!
Will you please fasten the seat belt!
That dream just knocked me off.
Sitting in the plane...
and it crashes, looking so real
as if it really happened.
I did bite all my nails.
I don't know...
I even got sick with all this.
Can't you try to add someone else for the job?
I can't do it. Look at my face...
I never looked like this.
The scarf has to be used like this,
it will be folded up here,
so it will look like... - I'm looking like a washerwoman!
No!
It has to be this way. Goddammit!
You can't walk around with these locks.
I'm looking terrible anyway. We have to hide these eye-bags.
Like this.
Put it from behind.
Sunglasses! - You are too small for this...
I'm taking the sunglasses off. That's it.
And those locks must be hidden. It must be more massive in the back.
That's better now.
Not at all! It must be much more massive in the back.
Now it looks like a ribbon.
That's no Daisy Duck!
OK girls, let's get started now! Come on!
Shall I change clothes? - Yes, do it!
A bikini...
Is it your picture?
No!
I don't do that.
Here I'm 4 years old or something,
there was a thunderstorm on that day and the dog was very nervous,
and I wore that knickers my Granny did knit.
They were really warm, but I didn't like them, since they were scratchy and
made a bundle of fluff around the knees. You know this?
Nope.
It's when the fabric folds up.
And this is my mother.
She's living at the countryside, writing fairytales for kids.
Really? - That's me.
No! - See the resemblance?
That's my father.
I still got that Teddy Bear.
I used to look below from the mountains, that was so nice.
Oh my God!
And this...
That's my mother again, with short pants
that are so modern today,
even without a bra!
The hotel lobby got an exit at the right and another at the left.
I have to make a decision:
If I would have taken the left one and she would have... gone to the right,
I would never see her again.
And I needed to talk to her once more, still loving my wife.
So I stood there, in the middle of that lobby,
trying to decide.
All this happening within seconds, of course.
I noticed a woman looking at me,
standing in the lobby, looking like observing me.
For a moment, our glances met.
And she seemed to know what was happening inside my head.
Her eyes pointed to the right exit, I went there,
that was the wrong exit...
I never saw my wife again.
And next?
That woman, who pointed to the wrong exit, became my second wife.
Do you want to be my third one?
I'm going insane.
Marrying?
Never thought about that.
Don't know what to say.
I can't stand this. I'm totally sweaty. I have to take a bath.
I'm totally puzzled.
At first he's in my dreams, then I'm meeting him,
Then I didn't want to enter the plane... He takes it seriously.
What shall I do?
I have to tell him that...
I have to think it over, it's not that easy.
I'm going insane.
Something like this never happened.
His third wife?
It was all too much - You - and that car - and I didn't know...
whether I should get in...
I'll take a cab now and I'll come.
But I have to get a glass of champagne at first.
...well, so it's 6 vineyard snails, herring...
Ketchup!
Yes, I made a note.
And dried dates in sherry wine.
Champagne! - Yes.
A whole bottle or just a half one? - Do you got a toothpick?
Any special wish for champagne?
A full bottle!
How about some Pommery? That would fit very well.
If that's in the house, OK.
That's it!
Right!
Marrying?
Married!
Engaged!
No, I never could be engaged.
Falling in love?
Possibly.
What did I just do?
I ran away,
slipping from the car, rang up to tell him I'd come now,
how is HE looking at me?
And all that garlic with those snails.
He won't be that near to me at the first date, so that he would notice the garlic.
Actually, I prefer Hamburger. Hamburger and lots of ketchup.
I love ketchup.
I want to smoke.
A little cigar.
What a spoon!
Something will be happening today.
I know that for sure.
But firstly, I have to take a drink, but then I won't know what's right at all.
And all those people... How do I look?
Am I that drunk? Can't I look straight?
Am I cross eyed?
Or is there some ketchup on my mouth?
Excuse me.
Another bottle of champagne, please!
Hello taxi!
Are you married?
Yes! - Me too!
Grünwald, OK?
Good night, Madame. Have a good drive home.
Excuse me, Miss, the way to Grünwald? - What?
Are you kidding me? There is a broad already in your car. Piss off!
But you should know the way. - Fuck off, wanker!
You see, actually, I'm a sailor.
What?
So you can't drive?
I can drive, but I don't know much about all those streets.
Where are we now?
I don't know about that, either.
But you just have to read those street signs.
Of course.
Tell me...
Are you drunk after all?
Tell me the way to Grünwald. I've got this card, but...
(indistinct mumbling)
(heavy bavarian dialect - conflicting advices...)
So do you know the way to Grünwald at last?
No!
Slowly, I get the impression that you are a little goofy.
Say that again.
Slowly, I get the impression that you are a little goofy!
I'm gonna beat you up.
You'll never dare!
You think so?
I KNOW that.
You know NOTHING.
I do!
Wanna try?
Go ahead!
You stay on your seat!
I just wanted to look after her. - I did that, she's sleeping.
That's good.
But the smell in your room is very strange.
Is it?
Did you pick up a drunk girl from the streets after all?
Oh mom!
Mother, just put down that tea pot...
Just give me another coffee, OK?
It's so great, black and sweet.
What's her name?
Anna!
I met he about 4 years ago on a ship.
Girls on a ship?
Well, she's our Captain's broad.
Ehm, I mean she's the DAUGHTER of our Captain.
Nevertheless, I can't understand how the Captain's daughter
could get that drunk.
You just pass out when entering that room.
Oh Mommy! Don't you understand?
She was...
her father was a real drunkard.
That was her legacy, she couldn't help it.
So that's her share of it.
Is there no mother,
to take care of her? - That's just the trouble.
The mother died right after the birth.
Then she joined her father on the ship.
What should she do at home all alone?
Poor child.
You can say that.
Anna!
Sylvia!
Charlotte!
Maria!
Winter!
Well, I don't understand!
Her Father always called her Anna.
Hi Sylvie!
Hey!
What's up?
Are you dreaming?
I wanted to marry last evening.
And in the end I was totally drunk.
And now... my weight increased at least with 4 pounds.
My bag!
My bag is gone.
Even more shit!
No luck for me in this city.
You just call and tell him. - I will NOT call!
Please call Dale! - You can't get to New York like this.
Just look at you. Get some sleep! - Or I'll call him.
Listen!
The pics with Dale will be fine. They also will be my last and best ones.
Next, I'll go to California and stay there for good.
You're totally nuts, Sylvie!
Is that you? - No! But I have to get to the airport
and you're gonna drive!
Hey... your bag!
You're totally drunk!
I'll drive.
Come on!
Once I've been to New York with Franz Langensteiner from Linz,
that was some kind of guy, he always did the same show, even at the 30th visit,
taking the subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn,
there we went to some old Jew who go everything,
from underpants to lawn mowers,
and he bought some french undies for his wife,
and some weights for himself,
that was some kind of store, you entered at the front, walking to the backside,
and there was a bodybuilding parlour, and the guys were all oiled up, you know,
lifting those weights at those machines, incredible!
And on the right side, there was a bar,
when those bodybuilding guys did a break,
they went to their broads, who were sitting along the bar, drinking champagne,
and those guys always ordered some juice,
raspberry juice, orange juice, black currant juice and so on,
but if... if you was at the front of that parlour,
you could get anything... - I have to make a call!
From automatic umbrella to leather sneakers,
to cucumbers, to soap - anything you liked.
And you should have seen those guys posing...
I'm sorry, but I just can't marry at the moment.
Yesterday after the dinner I got drunk and couldn't make it.
I'll take the next plane to New York right now.
I'll write you a letter.
Yes, and I'll call you as soon as I'll be back.
The taxi is waiting. I'll have to go.
I'm so sorry about last night, but I was not able to come.
You have to drive now, I'm in a hurry! I have to change clothes on the way.
And those American guys were the worst of them all, because there were lots,
I mean they are always good if there is a lot of them,
but they wanted to toss us around real bad,
but we just stuck together, being from 3 European vessels,
the Swedes, the Dutch and we,
and altogether we really did blow the Americans away, gee...
you just can't imagine this,
and our dear old Captain, when he noticed what has been going on,
he just took all his officers,
joined us at the club and supported us by beating them up, too.
That old guy was almost 70 years old,
but he also beat them up like in his prime,
and afterwards we all went to the ship and drank all night...
...gee, and that cook...
...you are listening to the Rolling Stones, and you are REALLY among them!
And next, 200 women, I can tell you that was some show...
200 women, right in the middle of the hall...
outdoors, they grilled an ox, indoors, they were fucking...
Thank you very much. You have been so kind.
Never mind.
"Last call for Lufthansa flight 505
to Cologne and New York.
Exit A 13..."
Now I really have to go...
Will you be back? - No!
At least I know how to handle the camera...
Calm down...
Paul is different, you know. Paul is different from the other people.
You just don't know the difference.
I once drove in his taxi, while he took me to the airport to N.Y.,
and the whole time he was talking and I pretended to not listening,
he talked about the South Seas and the pranks he and the boys did,
and about they all being drunk all the time.
And I sat in the back, changing my clothes,
always pretending not listening,
and then he kissed me.
And that was the only time we ever kissed.
But now I really want to get back,
on the other hand, I don't know whether I should stay.
I change my mind too often in order to know what's right.
It's getting cold, Dale!
Put on that shit yourself! Understand?
You are boring me, stupid!
No no, I don't wanna order a taxi. I'm not in Munich!
I want you to tell the driver of car 119
that he should call his sick mother in New York.
The mother... the number is 2433700.
It's important! - How do you think this should work?
It's impossible!
But you can send a CB radio message.
It's very important, his mother is waiting.
OK then, what's the driver's name?
That's the issue, I just know he's called Paul, that's all.
His mother can hardly talk anymore, please do her that favor.
Do you know some Paul? - Ah yes, that mad sailor!
Please... His mother is waiting.
Take the next road on the right...
119! - and next...
Then on the left... - Please ring your sick mother in N.Y.
Then keep on the Ludwigstraße... - The number is...
So we can get to the English Garden. - Please shut up!
2343700
Please Miss, I didn't get all that. Could you say it again?
Please call your sick mother in N.Y.
The number is: 2433700
I'll be right back.
Paul?
For the first time, I wasn't afraid while flying.
I didn't notice it at all.
I was thinking about you.
Are you still there? Paul?
Paul! Why don't you talk?
Don't you hear me?
No, it's just like the next room. - So start talking.
How are you?
Fine!
I'm laying on my bed, and the photographer will take me up,
to go dining and then start working. - Are you hungry again?
I only ate one hot dog here, and that one was far better than in Munich.
But... I'd rather go with you.
Shall I write a letter to you? Yes!
Or will you call me again tomorrow at the hotel?
Firstly, I have to earn some money in order to pay that call.
Do you hear it?
Did you hear that?
That's an american police alarm. It sounds like war.
I have to stop now. He's here and we have to work.
Yes. Bye! Ciao! Bye! Until tomorrow!
That call costs you 81,90 marks!
Damned, I don't got that much. Sorry, but I got more money in the car.
May I get it?
Could you give me 10 marks in advance?
What are you doing? Only thinking about pics!
Everybody will think he'll get ambushed on the street, are you kidding?
What do you think you'll also get for your money?
You're nuts!
Stop it...
I'm looking awful. - Yes.
Where do you wanna go?
Any place.
But you must be going SOMEWHERE.
So just take me SOMEWHERE.
I just have to make a call to the agency. Here's a present from America.
Guido?
Hi, this is Sylvie. Listen: I just came back from N.Y., I'm still in Munich.
I'd like to ask whether you might got a job for me.
No, just listen, I have a request:
I met this dude, taxi driver, and he is very sweet, but a little dumb, too.
I think I have to kidnap him.
Exactly.
I don't know what to do with him. He's just hanging around here.
I want to come to Frankfurt. - What?
What is it? Wedding Dresses!
OK then.
How much do you make on a day?
Since I know you not that much anymore.
So how much did you make before that?
Well, maybe around 802 marks per day.
Listen:
I got a job in Frankfurt tomorrow.
If you drive me right now and also back tomorrow,
I'll pay 300 marks.
Plus gasoline, plus hotel!
Gee, I even don't have a toothbrush with me.
What is she thinking where I will drive her after all.
Now it's Frankfurt, next Kopenhagen maybe. I could rather go back sailing.
What did I get involved with here? Next thing is the lousy car gets broken!
Just tell me: why do you do all this? - What?
You're just driving around for me. - Just for fun.
It can't be just for fun. - Certainly NOT for money!
And you're not a little bit in love?
With you? NO!
I don't understand.
All this just for fun?
Sure thing, I'm a sailor... - I know that by now.
Just let me finish talking!
Since I was 19 years old, I went to sea.
And just for once in my life, I wanted to see the mountains.
And since my mother lives in Munich, I went there.
And because I got no money, I drive a taxi.
But you don't know about that at all.
Who cares? I will be back at sea soon.
What about me?
I never met a girl like you.
To drive you around gives me some memories to think of later on.
You are just everything I encountered on the mountains.
But if you think about it, there are no mountains here at all.
But instead I met you.
And what about those girls you fall in love with?
Different!
Good evening! - Good evening!
I'd like a very nice, big room for two.
A room for two.
That's my brother.
He is a zoo keeper.
Money doesn't matter.
Waiter: please get me a beer!
Zombie!
So long, gentleman!
So when shall I pick you up in the morning?
Just sit down first.
I can't leave you like this.
I'll order some food.
Please, for room 313...
some smoked trout,
a scampi cocktail,
some chicken salad with asparagus,
do you got herring?
No!
OK then, I'll take red fruit jelly for two!
Any special request?
Not really.
But I love Frankfurters!
And Frankfurters.
Yes please!
Where may I serve?
The Lady is in the bathroom.
Unfortunately, there are no Frankfurters, but you could get some Weeners.
That's odd!
Not hungry at all?
Actually, I don't dine at this hour at all.
What else are you doing at this hour?
Mostly, I'm going to a soccer match.
What else?
Or going to the movies.
Wait a minute...
Hello!
This is room 313.
I'd like to order the biggest color TV set in the house.
Do you know about this evening's programme, too?
Do you know about your legs?
No.
You got the legs of a stork.
Better like this?
Depends on where one is standing.
What's the matter with you? You don't know about women at all.
But you liked that one. - I didn't drink anything!
Another bottle of champaign, please!
I never met such a dumb taxi driver.
You're a real troll.
And I never met a girl with legs like a stork.
Think of this being your great day of joy.
OK, listen: is that collar closed?
It has to be smooth.
It's closed. - OK.
Fine.
That ribbon makes you look like a nurse.
And that smile, yes? OK?
Horrible!
Horrible. - Let me see.
It's that shiny face of yours again.
I'll get on some powder...
Oh Mom, this night I did...
I couldn't sleep all night in that boardinghouse because of that barking dog.
And now I got some headache.
Yes, I took a trip to Frankfurt.
Yes, I'm with a photo model.
You know these girls that pose in the nude on a cover of some magazine.
Oh Mom, you should know me better. It's just a customer.
Like anybody else!
Well, she's paying it all.
Just calm down, I'm staying outside town in a boardinghouse.
While she is staying at a hotel in town. Oh Mom, you know about me!
Just listen: did I ever brought home some girl?
Oh Mom, I already told you that she is the daughter of the Captain. MY Captain!
Oh Mom, don't you make me crazy!
This one is a model and the other one was the daughter of the Captain.
I told you before and you have to believe this or not!
Right now, I'm at the studio to watch that girl jumping in front of the
photographer, do you understand?
For sure I will be back before it's getting dark.
Oh Mom, I won't go nuts because of some girl from out of nowhere.
Well, what the hell he is thinking?
Lying to his mother like a pro on the phone,
talking about sleeping in a boardinghouse outside town,
and the dog is barking so he can't get any sleep,
while he was sleeping drunk on my bed, fully clothed.
But how should I have get him here?
I can't tell him that I'm in love with him.
He even isn't interested in watching me here in this wedding dress,
maybe I have to use a pose that is more attractive,
or should I be more explicit?
Not always directly to the front, what the heck!
Smile!
Shit!
Well, either front or back, can't you just decide, dude?
I'm no employee!
Either you concentrate on the work, or get the hell out of here!
Well, let me tell you something. Listen carefully:
once I waited a whole night long for the sunrise at sea,
and that was when I shot a picture, so great you only can dream about that!
I didn't need all that lamps and stuff to shoot some stupid women...
Don't be so cheeky! - What's the deal, do I need all this?
Just look for another slave! No time for all this!
(unintelligible shouting from both men)
No quarrel. I'm off!
Out! - And YOU are just watching!
Shit! Come on, let the dude disappear!
He's just a jerk.
Come on!
Just calm down... we try a take without any flowers, it will be fine.
Well... come on. Just concentrate!
For 5 hours, I'm watching all this mess. I think I'm going mad.
Another shot!
And another one!
Just shoot!
How can she be involved in this, which such a dude? It's disgusting!
He'll do this until she is knocked out, then taking her into his bed.
The usual story!
It wouldn't surprise me at all if that dude got some other plans tonight.
And she is so patient here. I would have gone mad for sure.
Mad. Totally mad!
Oh my God, and now he's even touching her.
Gee, he just drives me mad!
Terrible!
For sure, I'm getting paid here, but I'd rather stayed home with mom.
This dude...
Just pretending there was nothing going on.
Doesn't hear me, just keeps on shooting.
Yeah, even closer and closer...
Come on...
Not that smile!
Just open your mouth a little.
Stay like this. Just like before!
Shit!
Come here... Give me your eyes.
Sylvie, a little smile!
I told you before to forget about that jerk.
What's the use?
Just concentrate a little. Come on...
Down with that chin.
Sylvie, come on... Be my darling!
What about some hotel?
Why, we're almost in Munich?
Paul...
I wanna be with you!
Impossible, I have to see my mom. She worries about me for sure.
But you phoned her.
Whenever I'm on a visit, I want to be with her.
When I'm at sea, it's a different story.
Oh my, she's really determined. Now she even wants to stay the night somewhere.
So THAT'S how these models are like! All that money they get.
Just for some silly posing, she'll get 700 Marks.
Oh my, and I have to wake all night.
But I couldn't live like THAT!
At the hotel all the time... in a car... in planes. I would just go mad!
And she doesn't care at all.
Only girls could do that.
Well, but... she's nice in some way...
but also a little crazy... just eating burgers all the time...
but Ì'm crazy, too.
Driving her all around like a fool.
But I won't sleep with her, for God's sake.
Not today... To the hotel... I'm going mad!
I have to go home to mom!
Bye!
Will you call me?
Just let ME leave like this.
I just wanted to be with him, nothing more.
And all that shit about his mother, what is he thinking?
Champagne! - Yes.
Half a bottle? - Full bottle!
Anything special?
Pommery maybe? - Pommery!
That's all?
...well, let's put politics aside then...
your readers would certainly like to hear some stories, right?
So I'll tell you a story how I should be executed some day...
We sat down in a cellar at the end of the day in Berlin,
in those last days of April, the Russians stood close to Berlin...
Yes, the shipping company called, my train to Hamburg leaves in 10 min.
The ship will leave tomorrow morning. Isn't it great?
So farewell! Take care!
That was just the daughter of my old Captain.
Actually, I have to go now.
"Attention:
Train D311 to Kopenhagen via Nuremberg,
Hannover and Hamburg-Altona,
scheduled time 23:11,
will leave very soon.
Take care at the platform, have a nice journey!"
What are YOU doing here?
I'm going to my father, the Captain.
You know him.
Well, that drunkard!
That's him!
Here's to your father!°
Cheers!
I really wanted to show you the mountains.
My ship leaves tomorrow morning.
Do you know whether the train got a sleeping compartment?
I can't afford that.
You're my guest.
Paul!
Don't drink this much!
Why not?
Girl, you don't know nothing.
Now, I'm getting some more load.
(sleeping pills)
Give me some, too!
sings: "In the green wood,
a wonderful ship is standing..."
Not bad.
The beer? Yes, It's excellent.
Most excellent!
Wonderful!
Couldn't be any better.
You just don't know how much cans I drank of this stuff.
I once drank a whole wagon at Shanghai.
No reason for YOU to laugh!
Milk drinking broad...
I'm feeling a little funny now...
"Hamburg-Altona!
On Track 9, D311 from Munich to Kopenhagen is entering!"
Where is this?
It's just Hannover. You can sleep some more.
Hamburg-Altona!
"Attention!
D311 to Kopenhagen, scheduled departure at 06:13,
will leave at track 9 very soon!"
We have to get out!
Gee, my head is exploding!
I think... I have to take a drink at first.
Understand?
Oh my head...
Terrible!
Just terrible...
Will you write? - Yeeaass!
Are you sure you don't want to fly back to Munich with me?
I won't!
This is where I belong.
That's my world.
Yes.
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