KOCHIKAME
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, here it is!
Big waves, small waves, tiny waves and middle-size waves
Here they come on the southern wind
Big boobs, small boobs, tiny boobs and middle-size boobs
At the beach Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle!
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here already!
Big waves, small waves, tiny waves and middle-size waves
Here they come on the southern wind
Big butts, small butts, tiny butts and middle-size butts
At the beach Bounce, bounce, bounce!
Here they come on the southern wind
Bouncing at the beach Jiggling at the beach
Want you!
CLASH OF THE TOKYOITES!
You're doing great, Junpei and Kappei!
Oh, it's the ladies from the traffic police!
Good luck to you too!
Thanks! You can count on us!
It's getting lively with all these portable shrines!
A festival is supposed to be lively!
It'll get much livelier than this.
Oh, Reiko-san!
The real festival is about to start.
"TOKYOITE PORTABLE SHRINE FESTIVAL"
Wow, there are so many portable shrines!
Of course! We're gonna carry them in a race.
First team to reach the main shrine are the top Tokyoites!
It's the main event of the festival.
Here he is! Hey, over here!
You're late, Ryo-san!
Sorry, sorry!
I was starting to worry you weren't coming.
Me too! Without you, our neighborhood wouldn't have won three straight titles.
Wow!
Ryo-san's the definition of a real Tokyoite!
You think?
For sure! The biggest Tokyoite around!
You're the number one Tokyoite!
The super-Tokyoite, Ryo-san!
Long live the top Tokyoite in the universe!
I love it when people are sincere!
That guy is a Tokyoite?
Don't make me laugh!
Anyone who lets a little praise go to his head
doesn't deserve to be called a Tokyoite.
What?
I've not seen you here before. Which neighborhood are you from?
This man is Kin-san, the best Tokyoite around.
He's helping out our neighborhood this year.
What did you say?
We're getting sick of you guys boasting about winning every year.
You're just a fake Tokyoite. I'll put you in your place!
We'll see about that! You won't be laughing for long!
Amazing!
That guy is all talk.
I knew you were no Tokyoite!
Anyone can carry the front of a shrine.
A true Tokyoite directs things from up top!
I'll show him!
Wait, Ryo-san!
A real Tokyoite stands on top of the shrine!
I guess you're too scared since you're sitting down like that.
Ha, you're meant to stand on one leg!
'Cause a real Tokyoite just loves being number one!
So you wanna play rough, huh?
How about this?
If you can't do this, you can't say you're a Tokyoite!
Handstands are nothing special!
A Tokyoite does it... like this!
That's nothing! I'll show you the real Tokyo style!
No, this is the true Tokyoite way!
Nonsense! Here's a genuine Tokyoite pose!
This is the original Tokyoite stance!
This is the ultimate Tokyoite style!
Ryo-san, are you okay?
We're in last place all of a sudden!
That's 'cause you were being stubborn!
Yeah! At this rate, we've no...
Shut up!
We'll have to use plan B.
Let's go! Take the shortcut!
We can't lose! Take the shortcut too!
Truly exquisite.
One, two! One, two! One, two!
Heave-ho! Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
One, two! One, two!
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Stop following us! That's cheating!
Yeah, right!
It's you lot that're blocking us!
Damn it! That big mouth!
Gotta shake them off. Speed up!
After them! Don't let them get away!
Almost there!
We'll be crowned top Tokyoites again!
I'm not gonna let a guy like you win.
Yes! Victory is ours!
Slow down, you idiots!
We're gonna crash into the shrine!
Too late for that!
We've got too much momentum to stop!
Almost forgot!
That lousy jerk!
Are you all right?
Damn it!
We didn't get our fourth victory in a row, we got scolded for destroying the shrine,
and I'm soaked!
This is a disaster!
And it's all that jerk's fault!
Damn it!
It's all that cretin's fault!
"KAME NO YU BATHHOUSE"
You'd better not be going in here!
I'll use whatever bathhouse I want!
Ryotsu...
Move! You're blocking the door!
No, you move!
Looks like they forgot their manners.
-Old man, here's your money! -Old man, here's your money!
Uh... Ryo-san, I have to give you some change.
I'll get in the bath first!
The price to enter is 370 yen,
so your change comes to...
Forget it! You can keep the change today!
Huh?
A true Tokyoite is always first in the bath!
Move it!
I'm getting in first!
What's wrong? I heard a scream.
Scream?
I didn't hear any scream.
He must've imagined it.
But...
You imagined it!
Hang on... Weren't you both rushing to get in the water first?
I was just about to get in.
Yeah, same here.
Stop trembling!
You'll cool the water down!
S-S-Same to you!
Nakagawa, go help out in the boiler room!
I'll catch a cold in this lukewarm water!
O-Okay...
What? Raise the temperature?
Yeah, they said it's still lukewarm.
That's odd. It should be pretty hot already.
"WATER TEMPERATURE"
It's starting to heat up just a little.
You call this hot? Don't make me laugh!
This is still lukewarm for a real Tokyoite!
Nakagawa, the water's still nowhere near hot!
Throw more firewood into the furnace!
It's not hot yet?
Ouch!
It's over 60 degrees!
It's way too hot for a bath!
I said it's lukewarm, you hear me!
I don't care how many degrees it is!
To a real Tokyoite, this is as cold as ice water!
Go back to the boiler room, now!
Okay.
It's still lukewarm!
I'll have to hum to keep myself warm!
Nakagawa, do something!
Y-Yes!
This is foundry grade coke from Nakagawa Steelworks.
It can be heated up to 10,000 degrees in an instant.
I see.
These bubbles are what I want.
If the water isn't boiling, it doesn't feel like a real bath!
You moron!
Don't make a fuss just because the water's boiling.
To a Tokyoite, this is still lukewarm!
Look out!
Ryotsu!
Where are you?
Oh! Found you!
Are... Are you okay?
A bath has to be explosive for a Tokyoite to enjoy it.
Damn right.
This is nothing!
I'm back!
Has Ryo-chan come round yet?
No, not yet.
But I've bought some sushi for him...
Hey, did someone say sushi?
You were awake the whole time?
The word "sushi" woke me up.
A real Tokyoite can't resist sushi!
As expected, you're invincible!
At least put on some pants before you eat!
Be a bit more considerate!
That word is not in my dictionary!
Thanks for the food!
What's wrong?
What the heck is this?
What do you mean? It's an avocado roll.
Avocado?!
It's a type of sushi from the West Coast of America.
It's the in-thing. Very healthy.
The West Coast of America? Very healthy?
Are you kidding me?
Don't you know why the best sushi is called "Edo-style"?
Because it was made from fish caught in the bay back when Tokyo was called Edo.
This isn't real sushi!
What the heck are you doing, Ryo-chan?
That was too far!
Reiko-san bought that sushi just for you!
Even if she did,
my body rejects any sushi that isn't real Edo-style.
Well then, buy us some Edo-style sushi instead.
I want to see how it's different from the one I bought.
Because until I taste the difference, I won't be able to forgive you!
Fine! I'll show you what real sushi is like, damn it!
"KAMEARI COMMERCIAL DISTRICT"
I wonder what Edo-style restaurant he's taking us to. I can't wait!
Yeah, it's the first time he's treated us to a meal.
Damn, my wallet wasn't prepared for this.
There's a cheap-looking place.
By the way, how much further is it?
We're almost there.
You're not taking us to that revolving sushi place, are you?
Well, look who it is! Mr. Tokyoite himself!
It's you from the festival!
"DAIJIN SUSHI"
That's who Ryo-chan was arguing with?
You're a sushi chef?
Damn right. Family's been in the business for 500 years!
Toyotomi Hideyoshi used to come all the time in his younger days.
And Tokugawa Ieyasu was a regular too.
This the famous Daijin Sushi!
Let's go, Nakagawa, Reiko.
Our brains will rot if we keep listening to this big mouth!
Hey, don't tell me you're heading for that revolving sushi place?
We'll go wherever we want!
I guess Tokyoites aren't what they used to be.
Imagine making your juniors eat revolving sushi!
Huh? Weren't we going to that restaurant?
Not that one. We're going here.
You'd better satisfy us to the fullest, sushi chef!
Of course! You're talking to a real Tokyoite here!
So, what do you guys want?
This kind of place costs an arm and leg.
I'd better pick the cheapest stuff.
We have some delicious sea urchin, Miss.
Okay, I'll have some of that.
Is something wrong?
N-No, nothing at all.
I don't know what to choose.
We have some really exquisite tuna, sir.
Tuna for me then.
Hey, you!
What is it? Are you worried how much it'll cost you?
Pathetic.
A real Tokyoite doesn't go home till their wallet's empty.
D-Don't be ridiculous! I just wanted to ask to use the toilet.
It's over there.
That sea urchin and tuna alone will cost me five thousand yen.
Even if I stick with the cheap stuff,
this is still gonna come to more than twenty thousand.
I'd better find a way to get out of here, and fast!
Here you go.
I'm feeling a lot better now. Time to eat!
Son of a...!
He's recommending all the most expensive stuff!
Okay, you asked for it...
Hey, I'll have a dried gourd roll.
A dried gourd roll, huh?
There you go, the cheapest item on the menu.
Now it's time to employ my nitpicking strategy.
What the heck is this?
What? It's a dried gourd roll.
You call this a dried gourd roll?
The seaweed is stale, and there's only one small strip of dried gourd!
A real Tokyoite would never eat something so tiny!
I can't believe this place is 500 years old.
This isn't real Edo-style sushi.
Let's go, Reiko, Nakagawa.
-O-Okay. -What about the check?
That sign out there is a fraud.
I don't need to pay for this phony Edo-style sushi!
It worked!
-Not so fast! -Uh-oh.
That was just the appetizer.
This is the real dried gourd roll!
Now we're talking!
A real Edo-style dried gourd roll has to be this big at least.
I'm glad you like it.
Damn! This guy is good.
I'm not gonna let you have it all your own way.
So, what'll you have next?
Let's see... I think I'll have some of that sea urchin.
Okay! Coming up, one Sea Urchin Battleship Roll!
Nah, I'll have a Space Battleship Roll.
A Space Battleship Roll?
You can't make one?
Nonsense! I can make anything!
I'll be right back.
Let's see... Space battleship... Space battleship...
That's it!
Here you go.
Just for you, one Space Battleship Roll!
What the heck is this?
Look at that gun turret and bridge. Pretty cool, huh?
You idiot! No battleship has only one gun turret!
This is a Space Destroyer Roll at best!
S-sorry, I must've misheard you.
Not many customers ask for the Sea Urchin Space Battleship Roll.
Coming up, an honest-to-goodness Sea Urchin Space Battleship Roll!
N-Now we're talking!
I finally feel like I'm eating real sushi.
As expected of a Tokyoite, you know your stuff.
And you'll eat it in one bite, right?
That's the real Tokyoite way after all.
Of course!
What's next?
Well... Maybe a side dish.
There's nothing you can't make, right?
I know, bonito on a string!
B-bonito on a string, huh?
Here, bonito on a string!
A whole spiny lobster nigiri!
Here you go!
A kappa-shaped cucumber roll!
Here it is!
Curry and rice!
How about some fish?
Salmon with roe nigiri!
Done!
Fresh tuna on ohagi!
Coming up!
They're both as stubborn as each other.
Like a pair of kids.
So, what else do you want?
I've still got plenty left.
L-Let's see...
How about a dancing octopus?
It's alive!
One octopus, dancing on some rice.
Just what you asked for!
Come on, eat up while it's still fresh!
Yes, this is it! A real Tokyoite must try this at least once in their lifetime!
Oh, maybe it's a bit too fresh!
Damn it! I'll eat this thing, at any cost!
Get off! I can't breathe!
If you're an Edo-style octopus, stop wriggling around!
A-Are you okay?
Oww!
Got you!
What's going on?
I'm stuffed!
Here's your check.
Two million yen?!
You're not saying it's expensive, are you?
O-Of course not! I was just shocked at how cheap it is.
You'll be paying in cash, I assume?
Like a real Tokyoite.
Damn right! I'll go get the money now.
I'll be right back.
Sorry, all I have is small change. Mind counting it up for me?
It's always nice to have some change! Lucky me!
I knew you'd be pleased.
Us real Tokyoites understand each other well.
That's right!
Neither of them is laughing with their eyes.
I wish they'd take it easy with this Tokyoite thing.
TODAY'S DAMAGE REPORT
1 SHRINE, 2 PORTABLE SHRINES, 34 BONSAI TREES, 10 CARS,
1 BATHHOUSE, 1 RESTAURANT, A LOT OF HOUSES
W-What?
Why am I handcuffed to Reiko?
Huh? There's no key?
So we're gonna have to live like this forever?
I don't want to!
NEXT EPISODE RYOTSU AND REIKO TOGETHER... FOREVER?
Don't miss it!
Let's keep smiling always
Even when things go wrong
Keep a pretty smile on your face
And go out as if nothing happened
Hey, show me your smile
You did nothing wrong
Hey, show me your smile
Just like you did before, yeah
I want you to smile always
A woman with a frown isn't pretty
So you should smile as soon as you can
It's the grown-up thing to do
KOCHIKAME SEE YOU NEXT TIME!