first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2/3 ADDED

Postby ransomdude » Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:36 pm

Hi guys. My first story on the site. If you enjoy it will continue the series. Any feedback welcome

Brodys Ransom: The kidnap Part one.

Brody Boatman, a 16 year old dude with medium length, caramel brown hair is the son of business tycoon Ralph Boatman, who has been the CEO of Boatman enterprises for 20 years. In his time, Ralth has made many enemies. For one ex employee in particular, he has gone too far, which beckons the question: how far will a man go when he has nothing to lose?

The day started like any other for Brody. It was a Saturday and, like every Saturday, Ralph went to work at 9am. Brody awoke at around 10, slipped on his skinny blue jeans with light fading, ice white converse and a white slim fit t-shirt. He combed his hair into a side quiff and slipped on his black and white varsity jacket.

As Brody slipped downstairs, the house phone rang. He answered the phone and in his soft voice answered, "Hello... Hello." There was no answer. The phone line went dead, he tried to redial but the phone had become dead. He presumed that ther was something wrong with the line and put the phone down

As he did this, there was a ring at the doorbell. As Brody answered, he had the uncomfortable urge that something wasn't right but, before he had had chance to process this feeling, the door was open and before him stood a tall man dressed in all black.

"Good morning, Sir," said the man at the door, "I'm Ricky from BT, we think there may be a problem with your phone system and I've come to check your device"

"Sure, come in." smiled Brody, but his smile soon turned to a look of horror as he closed the door. "We're not with BT, we're on Sky," he thought out loud.

Ricky turned to Brody. He smiled and exclaimed in a sinister voice, "You shouldn't of opened the door." With that he launched at Brody. Brody tried to run but Ricky grabbed him around the torso, they both fell with a thud. Brody tried to break away, but Ricky grabbed his ankles and dragged him back across the wooden floor.

"Get the fuck off memmmpph" Brody's protest was cut short by Ricky's clammy, leather gloved hand clamped firmly across his mouth. Ricky pulled a rag out of his back pocket whilst pinning Brody down with his body; he quickly replaced his hand with the white rag. Brody began to breathe heavily As his eyes rolled back into his head, his body went limp and Brody fell into a deep sleep.

With his captive now unconscious, Ricky reached into a black Nike duffle bag he had brought in with him, he pulled out a long loop of blue rope and proceeded to bind Brody's wrists behind his back. He then moved down to his ankles, commenting on Brodys ice white converses. "They won't stay white for long where you're going, lad." he chuckled to himself in a broad northern accent before roping his ankles together. He then roped Brody's knees and torso

Ricky placed the remaining rope back in the duffle bag and pulled out two bandannas, a red one and a blue one, a small white rolled up trainer sock and a roll of grey duct tape. He shoved the rolled up sock into Brody's mouth and then tied the blue bandanna tightly between Brody's teeth. The red bandanna was used as a blindfold covering Brody's lagoon blue eyes. The duct tape was then wrapped several times around Brody's mouth and then reinforced the blindfold over his eyes.

"I'll be back in a minute, Sunshine," exclaimed Ricky jokingly. He then went out to a car, an old Mercedes, and backed it up the drive; he pulled an old grey sleeping bag out of the boot. As he returned, Brody started to come round. He groaned into his gag and began to whimper. Ricky coldly poured more chloroform onto his white rag. Holding it over Brody's nose, Ricky spat, "Shut up, you spoiled shit, this is the real world." Brody's whimper once again fell silent.

Ricky opened the sleeping bag and rolled Brody into it before zipping it back up, he tightened the hood on it and wrapped duct tape where the 16-year-old's feet and torso were After this, he threw Brody's unconscious, bound body out the front door, opened the boot of his car and threw him in. As the door slammed down, Ricky got into his car, drove to the end of the driveway and pulled onto the main road. As he turned his satnav on, it proclaimed that he would be at his destination in two hours, 45 minutes. Ricky looked in his rear view mirror at the empty road behind him, then at himself and whispered slowly, "I'm sorry, kids"......

End of part one.
Last edited by ransomdude on Mon Nov 10, 2014 1:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby xtc » Mon Jun 16, 2014 2:11 pm

Hi,
As a moderator, I've been delighted to approve your first post because, as a Brit, I'm reading what you want to write. It is an exciting start but . . .

Sorry, but it would be even better if you had checked it for homophones and given a bit of thought to capitalisation. It's always good to read English English. (I'll argue the term "British English" elsewhere :big: )

I hope you aren't too offended by the remark and I'll happily send a sub-ed if you'd like me to. Don't let me put you off. Write on!

Wassail!
Xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby ransomdude » Mon Jun 16, 2014 2:25 pm

Hi no offense taken a sub ed sounds cool thank you.

Danny
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby xtc » Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:05 pm

I'll send it. Glad you took the offer in the spirit it was offered.
This story is too promising to ignore.
Does your keyboard have the same trouble with "s" as min does with "w"? It just doesn't want to accept it!
Sub-ed on the way in a few minute.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby capturedsuperhero » Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:10 pm

great start :)

i'm in manchester if u want to chat some time
Arrogant Superhero here, Looking for a Nasty Villain!!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby ransomdude » Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:17 pm

Yes lol it's a nightmare haha and thank you. Hopefully part two will be come to me soon :))
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby chadmc90 » Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:34 pm

Well, I didn't spot any grammar errors, though I really wasn't looking either. Good start and it was fairly easy to read. Welcome to the site's league of writers!
Check out my latest story A Cowboy's Dream!

Feedback highly appreciated! Feel free to Private Message me if you prefer to not post on the public forum!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby ransomdude » Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:59 pm

Thanks Chad and Captured super hero I have edited the post lol. Really appreciate your kind words :)
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby NemesisPrime » Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:15 pm

Very nice start! I wonder what's in store for poor (lucky) Brody!
Everyone speaks in multiple languages...But gag talk is universal and a sock in your mouth is the perfect translator!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby akmon45 » Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:40 pm

Great start! Can't wait to see more!
Stories:
New Friends, New Problems (M/M) viewtopic.php?f=37&t=20834
The Boyfriends Son (M/M) viewtopic.php?f=37&t=21478
Aidan's Kidnapping viewtopic.php?f=85&t=22667

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby bondagefreak » Mon Jun 16, 2014 9:29 pm

Great start, Danny!
I'm glad you decided to share one of your tales with us.

Anxious to read the next part!
Image

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby squirrel » Tue Jun 17, 2014 12:40 am

Absolutely fantastic story! It is a please to read it :)

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby ransomdude » Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:04 am

Part 2 will be on tonight :)
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m)

Postby ransomdude » Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:53 pm

Part two

As Ricky's Mecedes weaved throw the British countryside, he began to hear a light knocking coming from the boot of his car. Brody had once again began to wake.

As Ricky pulled off the country roads onto a dirt track, a small, stone coloured house appeared throw the tree's, the house had seen better days. The windows were dirty and the once wooden roof had partially caved in, their was a small river that ran alongside the house, which may have contributed to the over grown greenery surrounding the area.
Ricky opened the boot of his car, Brody was picked up still wrapped in the grey sleeping bag, he let out an almighty grown as he was carried into the house.

Ricky threw Brody down on a metal bed in the one roomed house, the bed had a single off white mattress on its rusted frame and a single pillow. Brody was cut free from the sleeping bag, he started to struggle against his bonds, but to no avail.

Ricky looked down at his victim, and in a fit of fury, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him upright. "I hope your daddy loves you kid" he yelled at him before throwing him back down. "because he's going to have to give me more than just a few quid to get you home in one piece again".

Brody tried to protest, but he couldn't, "ummmpphh, mmppphh, umm-phph-pmmmph" Brody again began to break down behind his gag and blindfold, he thought to himself he had always been a good kid, never really been spoiled, had good friends, and always tried to put his friends And family before himself.

His thought's were interrupted by the sensation of the duck tape being pulled from his eyes, his bandana blindfold wad removed, his eyes squinted as he adjusted to the dimly lite room. His captor was standing over him, holding Brody's blackberry, Ricky started to photograph Brody in his bound and gagged state, as the flash from the phone was going off, Brody squinted and thrashed arround on the bed. "this will never do" snarled Ricky, he grabbed the remaining rope from his Nike bag and further looped it arround brody's already bound ankles, then, the other end of the rope arround his wrists, effectively hog-tieing his victim, immobilized, Brody just lay their, and let Ricky continue to snap away.

"Sent" rickys voice exclaimed quickly. "Don't get to comfortable, you won't be on that comfy bed for long, i'll be back in a minute" as Ricky left the house, Brody thought viciously against his bonds, he was quite athletic and with his vision restored managed to bend his body enouth to pick the knots arround his ankles. The hogtie came loose but his feet were still bound.

Brody managed to clamber to his feet and hop towards the.door, however; Ricky burst back in knocking Brody to the floor, he picked Brody up by the scruff of his varsity jacket and whispered chillingly in hims ear "I hope you don't mind small spaces Bro, because your going to be in a box within a box" Brody's eyes once again widened as he spotted a large green wheelie bin, with a pipe in the lid and a padlock attached. Ricky throw Brody in headfirst, the lid was shut and bolted. Brody's screaming echoed arround the bin as Ricky wheeled him to the back of the house, where a small cellar door sat, the space in the cellar was not much bigger than the wheelie bin itself, Ricky pushed the bin into the cellar hole, it fit like a glove, he closed the doubled cellar doors and placed another padlock on them.

Brody lay their, upside down in his bin, crying into his gag, his feet were numb from being tied for so long, arm's aked and face frozen, as he composed himself he remembered something Ricky said, "Bro" he thought to himself "know one ever calls me bro, ever"

Ricky sat in his car, he could see the cellar door in his rear view mirror, as he drove away, he once again whispered to himself "sorry kids... Sorry bro"

End of part two. To be continued...
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby NemesisPrime » Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:40 pm

Seems Brody's kidnapper shares a relationship with him...Curious now!
Everyone speaks in multiple languages...But gag talk is universal and a sock in your mouth is the perfect translator!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby chadmc90 » Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:26 pm

Interesting continuation, although there are some typos and word errors. I like where the story is going. Keep it up.
Check out my latest story A Cowboy's Dream!

Feedback highly appreciated! Feel free to Private Message me if you prefer to not post on the public forum!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby alkaid_ » Sat Jun 21, 2014 5:12 pm

when the 3rd part?

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby ransomdude » Sun Jun 22, 2014 2:20 am

Will be during the week had a mad one the last few days:)
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby alkaid_ » Sat Jul 26, 2014 11:56 am

waiting for the next part.

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby kidnapplz » Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:45 pm

I think your story is amazing. Great work. cant wait for more

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby Scottstud94 » Mon Aug 04, 2014 6:47 pm

Awesome I love the fact he's locked in the small box and can't escape

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby alkaid_ » Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:03 pm

still wating for the next part?

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby ransomdude » Sun Nov 09, 2014 5:07 pm

Hi guy's and girl's

I would just like to thank you for your support, advice and interest in Brodys story, some of the messages I have received have been amazing.

Unfortunately due to a run of ill health I have not been able to access the site and finish his story in the time frame originally intended.

However, I am pleased to say that I have now fully recovered, got my mono back and ready to finish what I started, I also have a pipeline plan for a second short I'd like to publish on here before Christmas.

Once again thanks for all the support and kind words, I hope you all enjoy the final part of Brodys ransom when published within the next few days

Ransomdude
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby chadmc90 » Sun Nov 09, 2014 6:12 pm

Glad to see you back! Just remember that you should post whenever you get ready.
Check out my latest story A Cowboy's Dream!

Feedback highly appreciated! Feel free to Private Message me if you prefer to not post on the public forum!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby xtc » Mon Nov 10, 2014 2:53 am

ransomdude wrote: got my mono back and ready to finish what I started,


Glad to hear you've got your mono back, I'm sure you'll make a good nob of it.

Sorry, couldn't help it. Welcome back.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2 ADDED

Postby ransomdude » Mon Nov 10, 2014 8:01 am

PART 3

Ralph Boatman stared intently at his watch, sat at the kitchen table, he was wearing a grey three piece suite, brown leather boots and a off-white shirt with the top three buttons undone. Their was a rattle in the hallway, the noise stopped, their was silence for arround ten seconds, suddenly a knock on the door, as Ralph gingerly glided down the hallway to opened it, a dark figure slowly drifter in.

"Have you got the photos"
Ralph asked the figure as he took off his hood. "yeah, the kids alive, well, that is for now, pretty cold up in those woods, in that cellar" replied the figure, who in tern is Ricky, Brodys abducter.

"He looks scared" muttered Ralph "you'd best be going to retrieve him, I've made the call, insurance will pay out with this proof"

Ricky Barked ferociously "he's your son, don't you care what you are doing to him, your sick, sick in the head"

Ralph paused, looked sternly at Ralph and slowly poured himself a glass of brandy, he then got close to Ralph, and pulled him in, whispering sinisterly into his ear "say's his only brother".

At that moment Ralph pushed Ricky back, hitting his head against a coffee table resting in the background, it was at this moment, he herd a light muffling sound coming from the hallway, as Ralph leaves the living room and enters the hallway, he relise's that the sound is coming from the storage area under the stairway, as he steps towards it the door flies open, with an almighty bang, a lifeless figure turns over, as Ralph looks up, he she's a pair of muddy converse, with sober tape wrapped arround them, he assesses further to see his youngest son's face, wrapped in tape, tears streaming down his face, Ralph quickly ungagged the terrified teen only to hear him explain on his breath "I heard everything"

Ralph, panicking throws Brody over his shoulder and carries him into the living room where Ricky is still lying unconscious.

"I know what you think you herd son, and your right, but let me explain" Ralph calmly stated to Brody, "now I don't want us to be interrupted, so I'm just going to fetch something from the garage"

Ralph left the room, Brodys.hand and ankles were still firmly tapped, Brody thought back to his time in the bin, he looked down at Ricky, and recalled how he had returned to him almost imminently after only getting as far as the end of the country lane. Wracked with guilt. And brought him home.

Ralph returned with a long noose of rope, and a black rag, he tied Ricky's hands behind his back and gagged him tightly with the black rag, Ricky, who had begun to regain conciousness, moaned deeply into his gag.

Ralph, then turned to Brody. "this boy, Ricky, is my illegitimate son, Brody,his mother died in childbirth, and I couldn't have anything to do with him, it, it would have brought shame upon our company" Ralph calmly explained. "He was put up for adoption, I sent him checks, to help out with school trips, holidays and a deposit on a flat, but he wanted more, the only way I could pay him was to use the insurance we have if one of us were kidnapped, I told Ricky to grab you so the claim would be genuine, little did I know he was going to go soft and have some out of character brotherly connection with you, I'm sorry Brody, how inconvenient this must have been for you".

Brody saw red, he hopped up to headbut his father but missed, at that moment the police came bursting throw the door, before re entering the house Ricky had tipped them off about possible hostage situation in the Boatman household.

Brody and Ricky were untied and taken to hospital where they were treated for relevant injuries.

After their ordeal, Brody and Ricky bonded as brothers, agreeing to both be apart of one another's lives, Ricky went on to run his father's company with Brody as his deputy, Ralph was sent to prison, however, due to lofty connections, fled the UK before sentencing to the South of France, where he is protected from extradition.

Ricky and Brody continue to play tie up games and challenges.

END!!!
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2/3 ADDED

Postby zavulon » Tue Nov 25, 2014 11:43 pm

Awesome story, love it!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2/3 ADDED

Postby ransomdude » Thu Nov 27, 2014 12:07 pm

Arr thanks :)
Ready to kidnap YOU!!!

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2/3 ADDED

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Jan 22, 2015 8:08 pm

any chance of this resuming?

Re: first story: the Ransom of Brody (M/m) PART 2/3 ADDED

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Jan 22, 2015 8:09 pm

Never mind :)