Gags seem to me the epitome and completion of surrender, total submission and abandon, which is why they are so critically essential for me. The gag is the ultimate device when it comes to fully giving yourself over and experiencing the pleasure of being totally helpless and taken care of. In fact, for me it’s more about being gagged & bound than bound & gagged.
Obviously a gag is the barrier to signaling for any sort of help. To me, what is the point of going through the trouble of “kidnapping” and tying someone up to put them at your mercy if you leave them free to let others know what’s happening to them. That makes a gag essential, even if nobody seems to be around. Why take the chance that somebody may be there? (On a personal note, I like scenes and fantasies that involve other people being close, with the victim shouting desperately, but unable to convey his predicament to outsiders).
The sounds emitted through gags get me instantly aroused. The talking and the mmmphing corresponds well to the typical noises involved with sex. A loud, yet muffled mmmph is striking and instant. And to me, it’s essential. It’s a sign of activity and tension within a bondage scene. If the actor or sub does nothing to struggle, he becomes less attractive and pleasing to the eye. There is no conflict, no sense of tension to appreciate. After all, bondage is a form of entertainment, close to an art to me. If you don’t feel it, act it out.
In terms of aesthetics, I find the faces of guys become infinitely hotter with the lower face covered. I can never really explain why, just as people can’t adequately explain preferences for race and/or gender. We appreciate what we appreciate and rationalize it after the fact. Who knows, maybe the purported associations I have with gags brought my love for them out. But, for me, tape, cloth, or a handkerchief really smooths and frames a guy’s face beautifully.
That is why I personally tend to not like ball gags or bit gags. They do the work, but the aesthetic aspect is missing because you see the facial contortions involved. You see the mouth stretched, as you see the face bulge over a tape gag if the dom doesn't take time to smooth it out. Ball gags and bit gags are great, but only if they are just a part of a layer. To me, the perfect gag will always have an over the mouth (OTM) look to it.
For me, personally, a gag serves as an incentive not to ask questions of myself or my dom. I have a tendency to overanalyze and freak out and speak my mind. A gag, especially one that is put on with extra attention, is enough to calm me down and relax me so I don’t disturb the scene. This is not to advocate no safe signal or word. I firmly believe in the consent and safety of all participants. Since I like gags most of all, my own safe signal is a melody that I mmmph in order to convey a complaint or precaution.
Finally, for me, bondage is all about not only restraining a guy but reinforcing restraints. For example, you handcuff a guy. That puts the sub where he belongs. But then you tie his handcuffed wrists together. The sub begins to realize just how very tied up he is. Then you tape his roped, cuffed wrists. I’m a big fan of adding insult to injury. And finally you put chains on both his arms. The purpose of all the additional restraints is humiliation, objectification, and challenge to the dom. Obviously, the rope, tape and chains are not really needed to achieve the restraining purpose because the sub is clearly not going to get out (unless he is Harry Houdini, in which case bring more on

For me, it’s the same thing with multi-layered gags. When your mouth is stuffed, cleaved, and taped, is a cloth over it really that necessary? But for me, those additional layers carry the gag that extra mile. Gags reinforce the ropes/chains/etc, because the mouth cannot be used to stretch or bite at them. But the gag is also reinforced by the bondage. I see a guy mmmphing, and I think: “that gag is not coming off.” When I see the legs restrained and the wrists tied out of reach of the guy’s face, I KNOW the gag is not coming off.
And finally, gags complete the bondage experience by really turning the subject into an object, without personality or humanity. When that happens, he truly becomes the property of the dom until the dom lets him go. In life, how important is the speech we convey to others? We talk, we converse, we gossip. We also show emotion, express our individuality and influence people and their lives with words. In the gag/bondage scene, we are incapable of doing any of that.
When you are confined and restrained so that you can't move by yourself, it’s humiliating and degrading, putting you at the mercy of your captor. The gag takes all that to the another extreme, taking away the very essence of your humanity and individuality, your voice. You can't scream, and you can't persuade. The dom is immune to your clamors of emotion and expression, and instead takes pleasure in your mmmphs. It is hot, and it really makes you nothing but a passive agent that does not act, but is acted upon. With someone like me who wants to let others take control and responsibility, it is perfec