Breaking up via text message?

Postby Kidnapable82 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:52 am

I was dating this wonderful person for the past six months. It was a long distance relationship, but we found a way to spend time with each other each month. I just left Canada after spending five wonderful weeks with him. Things were going great and we were getting along just fine. When I returned to the states, he sent me a text message saying that he doesn't see himself spending the rest of his life with me. When someone feels differently, I get it -- even if it's hard to swallow. But, seriously? Sending me that via text message? You had five weeks to tell me to my face. I deserve better than that.

Thoughts?

Den
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Re: Breaking up via text message?

Postby Jason Toddman » Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:57 am

I dunno; it seems no worse than the Dear John letters of the 20th century.
I've never experienced this myself though; I haven't even had a relationship of any kind in the last 15 years or so. And when i did have any, they tended to simply break up of their own accord when the other person and i were separated by distance (usually by my moving to a new locale by going off to college, then the military, and then moving every few years to a different job in a different city) and a little time. back in those days there were no emails or text messages (nor did I acquire the means to use either for many years after they were invented). i simply lost touch with most of my friends over the years. I'm not sure that's really any better in the long run, but I'm really in no position to be objective about it.
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Re: Breaking up via text message?

Postby Driverman » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:09 pm

Sounds cowardly to me. But perhaps what you viewed as getting along just fine and things going great, he didn't see it the same way. Or he was playing along as if they were in order to avoid hurting your feelings, then once you were gone, he took the easy way out and sent that text. In any event, you are right, you likely did not deserve that, but there is not much you can do about it. If that is his decision and he went about it this way, you are better off without him. Best thing you can do is move forward.

Re: Breaking up via text message?

Postby Nexus » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:07 am

Bullshit move on his part. It's hard to say where the line is, but after a certain point in a relationship (one month? Maybe two?) the break up needs to be face to face. It's the respectful thing to do. Text breakup is, as mentioned, cowardly. If that is how they operate, you are far better off without them.

Re: Breaking up via text message?

Postby Kidnapable82 » Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:55 pm

Driverman wrote:Sounds cowardly to me. But perhaps what you viewed as getting along just fine and things going great, he didn't see it the same way. Or he was playing along as if they were in order to avoid hurting your feelings, then once you were gone, he took the easy way out and sent that text. In any event, you are right, you likely did not deserve that, but there is not much you can do about it. If that is his decision and he went about it this way, you are better off without him. Best thing you can do is move forward.


He told me that he enjoyed his time and I asked him the second or third week how he felt things were going and he said they were going fine.
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