Suicide of a child porn "victim."

Postby Jack Roper » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:27 pm

This is from today's Huffington Post, concerning a Senator's aide, who was recently arrested on child pornography charges. He committed suicide last week and left a note explaining why. This is heart-breaking and if true, maybe something that should enable more people to show compassion to such "monsters,' as society views them. What goes around....

Ryan J. Reilly --ryan.reilly@huffingtonpost.com

Senate Aide Arrested On Child Porn Charges Says He Was Abused In Suicide Note

Posted: 01/28/2014 11:14 am EST | Updated: 01/28/2014 4:59 pm EST

WASHINGTON -- Former Senate aide Jesse Ryan Loskarn, found dead of an apparent suicide last week after he was arrested on federal child porn charges in December, said he was abused as a child in a letter published online by his mother.

"I found myself drawn to videos that matched my own childhood abuse," Loskarn wrote in the letter, which his mother said was found after his death. "It’s painful and humiliating to admit to myself, let alone the whole world, but I pictured myself as a child in the image or video. The more an image mirrored some element of my memories and took me back, the more I felt a connection."

Loskarn, 35, hanged himself on Jan. 23 in his parents' Maryland home. He said in his letter he'd been planning to kill himself since his arrest, because "the news coverage of my spectacular fall makes it impossible for me to crawl in a hole and disappear. I’ve hurt every single human being I’ve ever known and the details of my shame are preserved on the internet for all time. There is no escape."

He apologized to the children who appeared in the images allegedly found on his hard drive, and said he was not trying to use his abuse as an excuse.

"I understand that some people – maybe most – will view this as a contrived story designed to find some defense for defenseless behavior. That it’s an excuse. In some ways I feel disgusting sharing this truth with you because in my heart I still struggle to see my five-year-old self as a victim. But I’m sharing this with you because it is the truth, not an excuse. And I believe it played a role in my story," he wrote.

Loskarn, the former chief of staff to Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.), possessed a hard drive filled with "hundreds of videos depicting underage boys engaged in sexually explicit conduct," according to the complaint against him.

He had been scheduled to appear in court on Monday. A judge granted federal prosecutors' motion to vacate that hearing "due to the death of the defendant."

Read Loskarn's full letter here.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Re: Suicide of a child porn "victim."

Postby FelixSH » Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:15 am

I understand that pedophilia, as every other fetish, is something you don´t decide to have. No one should be jugded by a desire alone, even if it is something awful like this. I also understand that it helps to consume corresponding porn, and if it is just a text or a drawn picture (basically something were no real kid is involved in any form) I don´t have a problem with that. Though it might be a good idea for a person like this to get help.

That said, as soon as real kids get involved, like it happened here, I think the line of acceptable behavior is crossed. He should have seeked psychological help if he couldn´t resist. That it resulted from a trauma from his own childhood doesn´t excuse anything. Even if someone was hit as a kid by his father, that doesn´t excuse hitting his own kids later on. It was Loskarns own responsibility to come clear with the things from his past.

Re: Suicide of a child porn "victim."

Postby mikeybound » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:58 pm

Kimmi wrote:
FelixSH wrote:I understand that pedophilia, as every other fetish, is something you don´t decide to have. No one should be jugded by a desire alone, even if it is something awful like this. I also understand that it helps to consume corresponding porn, and if it is just a text or a drawn picture (basically something were no real kid is involved in any form) I don´t have a problem with that. Though it might be a good idea for a person like this to get help. *Snip* .


When did everyone become a victim? No one takes responsibility for their actions anymore. I'm afraid to see how bad the world will be when I am finally an adult. I'll just claim things are horrible in my life and always be a victim. It seems to work currently. :worried:

Nobody goes through life without being victimized. What defines your character is how you respond to it. While this man did not respond well to his problems, society backed him into a corner.

Re: Suicide of a child porn "victim."

Postby the other one » Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:21 pm

Kimmi wrote:When did everyone become a victim? No one takes responsibility for their actions anymore. I'm afraid to see how bad the world will be when I am finally an adult. I'll just claim things are horrible in my life and always be a victim. It seems to work currently. :worried:


The fact, that no one takes responsibility for their actions, is nothing new. I suppose, the whole western world, if not the whole world, doesn't take responsibility for their actions.
The best example therefore are the debts. The prosperity and wealth of the last century is based on enormous debts. The further we move on in time, the more likely someone has to pay the bill. But no one wants to take this responsibility and so people let the debt become bigger and bigger, with the hope, that not their generation has to pay, but the next generation.
Or just look at the cruel things, that happen all over the world. No one feels responsible!

I agree with you, that the suffering of a victim, doesn't justify a crime. But you also need to understand, that a real victim can have afterwards intense psychical problems. And you need to know, that the fewest are going to seek psychological help. If normal people were able to take responsibility, then this people still wouldn't be able to take responsibility.
As you made the example, this excuse can be misused. But there are cases in which people really weren't conscious what they're doing.

So the problem, next to the missing responsibility of everyone, is to find out, how to act with those people, who were real (not faked) victims and have real issues.
“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.”


Bertrand Russell

Re: Suicide of a child porn "victim."

Postby mikeybound » Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:51 pm

Look at it this way people. How would you react if someone admitted they were a pedophile in thought, if not in action? While people are more than eager to help with a wide variety of problems, this is treated not so much as a mental disorder as an act of evil. People keep it a secret in fear of judgment and deal with it alone, so they eventually become monsters. While an animal cannot be blamed for its nature, we can be blamed for the environment we create.

Re: Suicide of a child porn "victim."

Postby Jason Toddman » Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:33 pm

Suppose that, for whatever reason, (say, God is real, has decided that enough is enough, and cracks down on human 'immorality'), sex laws as described in the old testament were all strictly enforced and all sex outside of marriage and all divorces were outlawed... with death by stoning the punishment for any infraction. How difficult would it be for most even sexually healthy, heterosexual people (male and female alike) to fully comply with such laws? How many of us would survive a 'purge' of all people who have had sex outside of marraige - including masturbation?
And yet this is exactly the situation gays have faced until relatively recently and which pedophiles (who never chose their sexual orientation; no sane person would) face now.
Even non-practicing pedophiles live in dread of their sexual orientation being discovered, and have few safe outlets and little recourse for action. They are treated the same as lepers were in the Bible; even those that never touched a child. A murderer or a drunk driver gets more sympathy than any pedophile. no one dares to stick up for them for fear of being accused of one (something I am sure i am risking myself writing this, but screw it); rather, almost everyone joins the bandwagon in condemning them to a status of third-class citizens.
Any of them actually guilty of a crime is given no second chances to try to live a normal life; society insists on punishing such people for the rest of their lives rather than make any attempt to learn what 'makes them tick' and to rehabilitate them. It's an incurable addiction that in most cases a pedophile was born with... with no hope of a cure or for understanding or sympathy from society at large. And if a pedophile manages to control his/her impulses enough so that his/her nature is never found out, he/she gets no credit for exercising more willpower than most non-pedophiles ever exercise or ever are even expected to exercise.
Even a mere accusation of touching a child the wrong way can totally ruin a person's life. It must be very, very difficult to be a school teacher, scoutmaster, coach, priest, or anyone else who works at all closely with children these days. Even for those completely free of such impulses, the scrutiny and sense of suspicion must be terrible.
In short, pedophiles are the lepers of 21st century society. Even for those who never act on their impulses, life can be little better than hell.
It's no wonder this fellow killed himself.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...