nightmare part 2

Postby jkingx » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:29 am

Story deleted - did not meet this site's guidelines. Please read them at the top of the stories section before posting.

Canuck

Postby Fesselfan » Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:07 am

You asked my opinion...

first, your story mixes violence and killings and tie-ups in a way I don't like, and in my opinion doesn't belong here, either.

second, it is extremly poorly written, up to a point where it is hardly identifiable what you want to say at all. It's even worse than your last stories in that regard. There are tips on this forum for storytellers- you should take a look at them.

third, the parts identifiable read like a childs wanna-be-bad-rapper wet pretender dreams....and I frankly can't care less about that.



A bit harsh my critic? Maybe yes, but you asked. It's a very weak story to me, better improve next time.


Cheers

FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

Postby Boundgal08 » Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:37 am

this story is dodgy, no offence but its got nufin to do, with TUGS in my eyes, and the poor english language to, being an english woman myself, that is terrible

p.s. sorry for being harsh