Postby Opinionated » Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:27 pm
Hello and thank you for allow this old person to nit pick. It's something I and no one else have a right to force you to do, but sometimes it helps to break a solid block of text into sub :) paragraphs. Please don't take offense - as you grow more enthused and the lengths of your stories increase, it will help to break up solid blocks into groups of sentences. So thank you for not taking offense at my suggestion, and thank you for letting this Opinionated old person speak.
Oh yes - good story !