12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Mon Sep 30, 2013 7:44 pm

It was a sunny day in Miami Florida when Jack and James were playing outside right after their soccer game. They were still in their soccer uniform consting of... A white athletic shirt, Black gym shorts and long red soccer socks (they like to wear them to their knees). When their mother said "Ok boys I'm going to the mall be back in 3 hours you're baby sister will be here in 10 minutes". Ugh they thought because they are to old for babysiters. "Ok" The boys said, so 5 minutes later a car pulled into their drive way and it was the babysitter. She was wearing a plaid crop top, jean short shorts and black vans,She had blonde hair and had a nice body. when she got out of her car she was carrying her backpack their mom told her a couple things an then left. By this time the boys were inside still in their uniforms. When she walked in she walked around the house for a little bit (James and Jack were fairly rich and lived in a big house). And then she got a brilliant idea
... She walked over to the two boys and introduced herself "My name is Courtney and I'm your baby sister" she said with a smile . The two boys introduced themselves. Then continued Playing their game.

2 Hours later the phone rang it was the boys mom "Hey Courtney" said the mom, "Yes" Said Courtney "Me and my girlfriends had a great time at the mall together and one of My girlfriend invited my to spend the night at their place so do you mid watching the kids until tmw afternoon?" Courtney smiled as she answered " Yes of course Ms. Bloom I don't mind :)" Cortney said , them the mom said "Great I have to let you go now ttyl" then she hung up. Then cortney sneaked up to James And Jack and pushed them off their seats and put their hands behinds their back "Your moms said she wont be back until tommorow that meAns I'm here all night and I feel like having a party so I'm gonna tie you two up so your out of my way "!. The boys tried to protest but the first thing Courtney did was take off her socks and shove one in James mouth and one in Jacks mouth and got a roll of ducktape from her backpack and rolled it around James head 10 time and jacks 9. They tried speaking but all that came out was MMMPPPHHHHH. Then she tied their socked ankles crossed style them pushed them on their stomachs and tied their arms crossed style then Their knees and upper thighs. They boys could hardley move and to make matters worse she put them in a strict hogtie. Then she picked up James and brought him down in the basement where their was a small bed and left the bound and gagged struggling boy to wiggle around on the bed then brought Jack and did the same.They MMMMPPPHHH unto thier gags and we're struggling so hard to get out but they were stuck for the night.

She admired her handy work and she had to admit they looked hot... So she snapped a couple pictures :).

Then she said "I'll be hosting the party upstairs don't go anywhere then chuckled and walked away".


TBC COMMENT BELOW ON HOW YOU THOUGHT MY FIRST STORY WENT.

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Jason Toddman » Mon Sep 30, 2013 8:37 pm

Well, it's a tad confusing when the baby sitter is called the baby sister in a couple of places. Plenty of other typos and spelling mistakes too that make the story a bit hard to read.
Story also posits an llogical situation; how does the sitter expect to avoid being ratted out to the mom eventually? Though it''s not impossible I suppose. Interesting story, though my sympathies lie with the boys and I hope they get their revenge on the b****.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Janbound » Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:26 am

Who says she's going to be rumbled. Maybe the boys have a history of tying up baby sitters and mum had a word with her before she left. Maybe the sitter doesn't mind being rumbled as she intends to rob the house. They are rich remember . Perhaps mum and sitter are in together on an insurance scam. Waitxabd see how this story goes

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby KamJM » Tue Oct 01, 2013 2:13 am

I agree with JT, the babysitter will definitely need to do something to stop the boys from telling on her. I'm interested to see how this goes... :big:

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:07 pm

Jack 12: Average height 12 year old wearing his soccer uniform.
James 12: Tall for his age and wearing his soccer unifrom.
Courtney 17: Babysitter having a party.
Mike 18: Courtney Friend

As the boys struggle on the small bed. Twisting, turning, moaning, MMMPPPHHHing Courtney was upstairs was making the calls for the amazing party that will be held at 6:30PM its now 4:00PM. She made lots of calls to her Friends and told those friends to invite their Friends its gonna be a big and long night she thought as she went to check on her captives. They were still where she left them except more sweaty and hungry so she told them "DO not scream or talk or i will put the gags back on and you will not get anything". MPPHH And the boys shook their heads yes she started unraveling the tape then took the socks out of their mouth. She gave them a bottle of water and a sandwich , Then said "Now i know as soon as I let you out your gonna go to your mommy and tell on me to maker sure that doesn't happen i'm going to propose that i will give you two 10 Dollars of what I make". The boys both responded "Ok" but they had something totally different in mind. "Great" she said as she put the socks back in their mouth and put 10 layers of tape over it. You two be good and turned off the light and went back upstairs.

About 2 hours later the party was underway the boys could hear the music from in the basement and were getting kinda tired and they had to relive them self's in their pants so that wasent a pretty picture either. Luckily for them some guy got bored at the party and went downstairs to find James And Jack tied up and gagged "OMG" he said out-loud as he started taking off the boys gags. "Thanks you so much for finding us" James said with a smile on his face "If you can untie us we want you to help us with something" He said. "Ok" The guy said " My name is mike and im at Courtney party good thing i found you guys did she do this to you"? He said "Yes" said James The boys then went to the basement bathroom to get them selves cleaned up. Then came back and said " we want to plan a revenge on Courtney can you help us"? , "Sure" Said mike and they went to work. They spent 30 minutes working on the plan and it went a little something like this, First they would go upstairs with some rope and capture Courtney then torture her and then have fun at the party and then let her go when it was done.

"Its time" jack said and then , rope in hand, they started climbing up the stairs to crash this party. They were 5 feet from Courtney when mike said "Courtney THEY ESCAPED GET THEM".


TBC

How was part 2?

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Wed Oct 02, 2013 4:33 pm

Can you guys tell me how my story is going? PLEASE LEAVE SUGGESTIONS AND TIPS :)
It's my first story! :)

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Jason Toddman » Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:43 pm

I know the feeling; haven't gotten much feedback on my latest story chapters either. We have a fickle readership here sometimes.
As for your story, well... it's okay but it's still kind of rushed looking. The biggest thing right now is your paragraph structure. Paragraphs should be broken up more to make the story more readable too; for example every time a different person talks it belongs in a new paragraph. Just fixing that alone will make your story considerably more readable and likely more enjoyable than it has been so far.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby xtc » Thu Oct 03, 2013 1:37 am

What Jason says. Sentences should involve capital letters and full stops. There are too many run-on sentences.
May I suggest you try reading what you have written out loud? You might then be able to spot some of the awkward constructions.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby KamJM » Sun Oct 06, 2013 12:00 am

Come on, we're waiting for the next part....

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby drawscore » Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:54 am

Some thoughts: First, SpellCheck is your friend. Use it.

Next, proofread your work. If possible, get someone else to proofread your work, preferably someone with a good command of the English language.

Homonyms (words that sound alike, but are spelled differently) can be confusing. Make sure the word you use, is the right one.

Line space between paragraphs. Every time the speaker changes, it's a new paragraph.

Don't write run on sentences they are hard to read.

The first word of a sentence, and all proper nouns are capitalized.

Drawscore

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Jason Toddman » Sun Oct 06, 2013 12:20 pm

I hope that we're not crushing Kpoplol's spirit with all this writing advice when he was just looking for a little encouragement. :worried:
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby drawscore » Sun Oct 06, 2013 5:24 pm

Writing is an acquired skill. It must be practiced and honed.

Drawscore

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Jason Toddman » Sun Oct 06, 2013 8:40 pm

drawscore wrote:Writing is an acquired skill. It must be practiced and honed.

Drawscore

I agree completely as far as that goes, but sometimes people just don't have the confidence to develop that skill and can get easily discouraged. It's something I've encountered myself with budding would-be writers time and again. Occasionally even talented writers lack sufficient self-confidence to succeed, and at times the inexperienced ones will take constructive criticism the wrong way.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:02 pm

Thank you guys :) I'm writing the next part now.

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby drawscore » Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:22 pm

Quick! Let me look out the window, and see where the pigs are flying! Jason and I are in agreement. :-)

>>>. . .but sometimes people just don't have the confidence to develop that skill and can get easily discouraged.<<<

To gain confidence, they must continue to write. If they lack sufficient confidence to put it up, then they should contact someone they know and/or respect from the board, or a mod, and ask for help, by proofing the story, and offering hints.

Even the best of us catch flak over what we write, or how we write it. Usually most of it is valid criticism, but there are sometimes people who just love to harp. It doesn't take too long to recognize them. I have always adhered to an old Latin phrase "Illegitimi non tatum carborundum." It means "Don't let the bastards wear you down."

Sometimes criticism may be meant well, but is presented poorly. This can piss off the writer. But I have developed a "professional writer's mindset," which is "My stuff is great; everybody else's is crap, and my editors are all barbarians, who edit with hatchets and meat cleavers."

And, one more: "Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs."

Best advice to Kpoplol: Keep writing. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Don't take criticism personally. Most of it is meant to help.

Drawscore

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Jack Roper » Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:06 pm

Drawscore's comments below sound more like some constipated English teacher than any form of encouragement, especially for someone only 15 years old writing on this board. I wonder if he can see that?

"Some thoughts: First, SpellCheck is your friend. Use it.
Next, proofread your work. If possible, get someone else to proofread your work, preferably someone with a good command of the English language.
Homonyms (words that sound alike, but are spelled differently) can be confusing. Make sure the word you use, is the right one.
Line space between paragraphs. Every time the speaker changes, it's a new paragraph.
Don't write run on sentences they are hard to read.
The first word of a sentence, and all proper nouns are capitalized."

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby xtc » Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:31 pm

I don't want to become involved in the spat so I've pm'd you.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby drawscore » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:25 pm

Jack Roper wrote:
Drawscore's comments below sound more like some constipated English teacher than any form of encouragement, especially for someone only 15 years old writing on this board. I wonder if he can see that?

That sounds like something you'd know about.

Drawscore

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Ryguy98 » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:20 am

i really enjoyed this you should definately continue

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby tiedlad » Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:15 am

Not naming names but I'm becoming bored with the arrogance of some on here. In this thread there is more nitpicking than there is story! There is constructive criticism, and there is just plain rudeness-this is hardly Shakespeare. If you must criticise the author, why not pm them with your feedback instead of filling what should be a story thread with nitpicking?
To the author, ignore the grammar police and continue with your story.

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby sarwrductan » Sun Dec 01, 2013 7:29 am

I always said if I can write anything well enough that yu get the message, or you can picture it in your mind while reading it; That's where success lies. I have the gist of what's going on and am curious to see how these boys end up as humiliated centerpieces or main attractions of the party?
Those who walk forward always looking back, don't see that which makes them stumble

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Mon Dec 02, 2013 8:17 pm

Just as Mike said that Courtney was already turning around to see that her captives have escaped.

"GET THEM" Courtny said she was pulsing she turned bright red at the sight of them.

"What!?" Said Jack and James in unison they were flabbergasted that their so called "friend" had betrayed them like this.

Just than mike grabbed James he threw himself to the right he tried biting mike but nothing he could not get out. Courtny grabbed Jack and he went without a fight he new he was defeated. Nobody at the party really noticed what was going on so Courtny said.

"Take them down to the basement hogtie both of them TIGHT gag them then comeback to me they need to be punished"

"Roger that" Mike said as he dragged Jack And James downstairs. He locked the door behind him and threw Jack on the floor then started tying James hands behind his back he went around two times then clinched and tied a double knot. He moved down to his ankles as to the wrists he went around twice then clinched then a double knot. Same with the knees and thighs then connected the wrists to feet with a strict hogtie James could not move a inch. Then took off James socks then stuffed them in his mouth and got duck tape and went around 6times. He could not move talk and to make it worse he blindfolded him. He did the same to Jack.

"They are ready" said mike to Courtny

"Perfect they have a long night ahead of them, Get some people from the party to help me" She smiled devilshliy at the statement

She walked into the room to see the two boys struggling to get out of there bonds.

"Ohh boys why did you have to do that?"

"MPHHHHHHHH" That's all the came out

"Get ready boys you have a long night ahead of you"

TBC

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby xtc » Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:38 am

Nice to see a new episode. Thanks for the improved presentation tis time; now we can concentrate on the story. (Or does that make me a "constipated English teacher"?
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby sarwrductan » Tue Dec 03, 2013 4:04 am

LOL I'm picturing two twelve year olds, wearing short tight shorts, a white shirt and bow ties',with knee socks ,shackled like prisoners ;with pacifier gags; having to serve the guests at the party.....but that's just an image that came to mind reading this. I'm anxious to see what she does and how she protect herself from being told on by the boys or anyone at the party?
Those who walk forward always looking back, don't see that which makes them stumble

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:44 pm

Any suggestions?

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Ryguy98 » Thu Dec 05, 2013 4:56 pm

I love the continuation ! Definitely continue, I think they should be taught a lesson by some girls at the party preferably with more sock gags I love that part and hopefully some sweaty feet if you'd be so kind :)

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Fri Dec 06, 2013 8:24 pm

As the boys struggled in their bonds Courtney was getting her supplies that she was going to use she got out a vibrating tooth brush, Two bowties and 2 pairs of white knee socks, and some ankle shakels. She began by taking of James and Jacks shirts.

"You ready boys" She said

"MPHHHHHHH" They pleaded under their gags

"Ok thanks for the reassurance" She said

She then proceeded to turn on the tooth brush and gently stroked it up and down jacks stomach this caused him to thrash around violently and to MPHHH In his gag. She did this for about 10 minutes and then moved on to James he could not take it he was on the verge of wetting himself bit luckily she stopped. She then put on their shirts took them out of their hogtie but kept their hands and ankles tied then she hopped them to a pole. She untied their hands then retied them back to back on the pole.

"Ok you two, since you two thought you could escape you are going to be punished" Coutney said

"You are going to be servants at my party :)" She said this with a smile across her face

Then she proceeded to untie both of their legs them got the bow ties and knee socks out and put them on them. She put the shakels on their ankles and untied their hands and retied it infront of them. She started walking them upstairs as soon as she walked thru the door the whole party stopped and them gasped at the view....

TBC

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby sarwrductan » Sun Dec 08, 2013 1:40 pm

LOL...haa-haa-haa-haa very nice.! Hope she dressed them in some shorts that were one size too small, cause with the knee socks white shirts and bo-ties the humiliation might not be complete. Plus taking pictures of them doing things little 12 year olds would never want to be seen doing by friends or parents might make them think twice about telling anyone. But how do you keep the babysitter's guests from telling on her? This story is really getting interesting?...
Those who walk forward always looking back, don't see that which makes them stumble

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Kpoplol » Mon Dec 09, 2013 8:29 pm

How was that section guys?

Re: 12 Year Old Boys: Duct Taped

Postby Dennis » Wed Dec 11, 2013 7:54 am

This story is great. :)
Fesseln am Morgen vertreibt Kummer und Sorgen. :)