## Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by Nexus » Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:10 pm

Hey all, I have a VERY interesting situation on my hands, and wouldn't mind some input as to how to handle it.
First a little intro. I'm lucky enough to have a girlfriend, who we'll call "Anna", who is really into TUG's. All my life I had pursued tugs with other girlfriends who showed little interest in them. So to have Anna, who not only enjoys them but actually instigates them sometimes, is a dream within itself. We have engaged in these activities for over a year now.
Months ago, I confessed ANOTHER fantasy of mine to her, which was to have 2 damsels bound before me. I was extra careful to make sure she knew how important she and the TUG's were to me, and that I wasn't bored with her or wanted to see other people or any of that, just that its always been a fantasy of mine and NOTHING sexual would happen with the other girl. She said she was somewhat interested, but we both had an unanswerable question: just who would be tied up with her? All of the girls in our social circle had boyfriends, so we figured we couldnt involve them without pissing off the guys, and I'm not one to want to start that kind of drama with my friends. So we just kind of let it go, just kind of saying "someday...maybe..."
Now just a couple weeks ago, one of these girls, who we'll call "Katie", has split with her boyfriend.
Katie seems to be the perfect match for my fantasy for alot of reasons. 1) Anna wanted someone she knew well, and wouldn't feel so embarassed around. Anna and Katie just so happen to be best friends. 2) I had actually had a fling with Katie a few years back, which lead to us just being good friends. 3) Katie and I had talked after our fling, and she told me that she was INTO the whole bondage scene. She's into it! And she tells me AFTER we fooled around! She tells me that her previous boyfriend wasn't too into it, and I know her recent boyfriend and don't think she ever got to live out her fantasies.
So I resurect this idea with Anna, and she seems sheepishly interested, but what she DOESN'T agree with, is how I plan on dumping this on Katie, my plan is as follows:
Anna generally has her apartment to herself (lives with family) for a few hours in the evening every day. I would tie her up in her room, then invite Katie over. I would hide in the main hall bathroom, with a strip of tape waiting in my hand. When she passes the door I jump her from behind, taping her mouth quickly. I get her hands and feet tied however I can. At this point I tell her that this isn't serious, just a game that Anna and I play often, and that there is no sexual play. I explain that I knew she liked this thing, hence her current involvement. I offer her the option of freedom, or continuing down the bondage road with us.
So yeah Anna didn't agree with this approach, but didn't have any other suggestions. I don't really wanna do the whole sit-down and discuss thing, it takes away some of the fun, and is hella embarassing.
Sorry for rambling, but I just HAD to vent this stuff.
So I guess what I'm asking for is feedback as to what I should do, and past experiences bringing newbies into your bondage fun?

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by Sounder » Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:10 pm

Dude, you are lucky.
Anyway, if Katie really is into TUGs, and she told you she liked them, and she hasn't played for a while, seems like once you told her what was happening, she wouldn't mind and would enjoy it.
Especially if she trusts you as a friend not to go too far.
That's my opinion.
But of course, I have never done this before, and I am an "insensitive" guy, so a lady member should help you.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by Fesselfan » Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:07 pm

Hi Nexus,
I just want to add my two cents here as someone, who has been in a kind of similar situation.
From what you write, I would agree with your girlfriend; your planned scenario is not the way to go.
First, as you write, katie is already into the bondage scene. That's of course good- but that doesn't mean that she is into being tied up by you.
Second, "and don't think she ever got to live out her fantasies." so she even may not be sure herself if she really wants this, never mind with another couple.
And (ok, that seems unlikely to me, but you need to consider that) what you plan to do is, at least in theory, a crime if she doesn't agree with what you do.
If she really is not into being bound by you, it can ruin your friendship, too.
My suggestion would be something different. Give her a chance to agree or disagree with the bondage thing with you. Perhaps invite her to watch while you tie your GF?
Remember...bondage is only fun if all involved want it.
cheers
FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by Sounder » Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:55 am

Fessel makes a few fair points.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by sarobah » Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:58 am

Fesselfan is absolutely correct. Two things in particular:
Donâ€™t go for the surprise. Iâ€™m not exactly a novice at these games, but I would be freaked out by that â€“ and as FF points out, you could end up being charged with a crime (unlikely, but something you do not want to put to the test).
I can only speak for myself and my experiences, but this is also very sound advice (again from FF): â€œPerhaps invite her to watch while you tie your GF?â€
That IS something you can pull off as a surprise, and from what you say about Katieâ€™s past, it sounds like she would be receptive.
My scenario (again, purely my own perspective) would be (1) get them together, (2) tie up Anna, (3) invite Katie to assist, (4) suggest to Katie that itâ€™s her turn... but donâ€™t force anything.
~ Sarah
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by Fesselfan » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:47 am

@sarobah thinking about it....
Hard to tell without knowing the involved persons...but I would even skip your point 4). If she asks herself for it it's ok, else keep her just as spectator. Chances are that she will be nervous like anything...and that is no good condition to start the first bondage in her life.
I have to admit I did it differently at some point in the past (you may know my story about that...) and it worked; but now, as more experienced and older person, I see that back then I took some risks and could have done it better.
Cheers
FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by sarobah » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:50 am

I have been giving this more thought...
I possibly came across in my previous reply as rather hypocritical, since some of my tie-up games have involved the sort of surprise you were planning for Katie. So I should add that in every case, the initiative and ultimate control was with me and my fellow â€œvictimsâ€ â€“ and everyone involved knew right from the beginning that it was a game. Telling someone after theyâ€™re bound and gagged that itâ€™s a game isnâ€™t the best course of action.
The closest situation I have had to this may be worth a mention. This is not a TUGs story and Iâ€™m only telling it to give an example (not trying to be â€œentertainingâ€). My b/f Rob and I know a girl named (coincidentally) Anne, who is very sexy but had a hang-up about her body (even stranger that she was a triathlete). We wanted to get her to a â€œlingerie partyâ€ and hook her up with a friend (itâ€™s a long story). The upshot is that we invited her to dinner and during the meal I started taking off bits of my clothing. (It sounds kinkier than it was.) By the end of dinner, Anne was down to her undies as well. The reason Iâ€™m telling this is that we got Anne to play along after Iâ€™d taken the initiative. She went from shy to dancing around the living room in her underwear, once she felt safe and comfortable.
So to â€œflesh outâ€ my scenario: I would invite Katie round to Annaâ€™s apartment, not letting on but maybe casually dropping hints â€“ reminding Katie of the good old days. Then I would â€œcaptureâ€ Anna and start tying her up, letting Katie know itâ€™s a game (not hard to do). I would get Katie to assist me; and when Anna was â€œdoneâ€ I would turn to Katie with a â€œwell, how about you?â€ or a â€œnow itâ€™s your turn?â€ line. If she really is into TUGs, it wonâ€™t matter if she works out that it was a â€œtrapâ€ all along... in fact she will probably be flattered that youâ€™ve made the effort. If she declines, you havenâ€™t lost face or fun, because youâ€™ve still tied up one girl. Since you have analysed the situation, you are obviously smart enough not to insist on anything.
Just to close... as may be obvious from my other posts, I love the multiple tie-ups (as one of the damsels, of course), so I completely sympathize with your dilemma. I hope it works out for you.
~ Sarah
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by sarobah » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:55 am

> Fesselfan wrote:@sarobah thinking about it....
> Hard to tell without knowing the involved persons...but I would even skip your point 4). If she asks herself for it it's ok, else keep her just as spectator. Chances are that she will be nervous like anything...and that is no good condition to start the first bondage in her life.

Actually, I misunderstood part of Nexusâ€™s post. I read it as Katie having actually played tie-up games in the past. On re-reading, I see that this is not the case... which probably does invalidate my advice. Sorry.
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: Advice? Bringing a new person into your TUG's...

Post by Nexus » Thu Oct 16, 2008 3:08 pm

Thanks alot for the input guys (and gal).
I have been thinking ALOT about this (obviously) and definitely won't go the way of the surprise, as said, there are just alot of things that can go wrong, and I don't want to ruin anything.
There's actually a little more to this story than I explained. Katie has just RECENTLY split with her boyfriend, and this boyfriend is actually a really good friend of mine, and the 2 of them are already in this love triangle with her previous ex. So I have now ultimately made the decision to WAIT, and let time do its thing. I don't want to jeopordize ANY friendships, and throw myself into drama. No thanks.
I really appreciate the advice, but honestly I'm not sure I could just start tying Anna in front of Katie without her knowing whats goin on. I am actually incredibly bashful about my bondageplay. So I think if anything, weeks/months down the road I would write Katie an email explaining everything and inviting her to play. I figure this keeps the awkwardness to a minimum.
Thanks again everyone!