Worried

Postby DiseasedTeen » Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:01 am

I've been into this for a while, since i was 10 (im like 17 now) and i caught myself in the act when looking at pictures like these and questioned myself "am i a sick pervert?". this question arose when i realized no one else i knew enjoyed this type of thing.

i just needed to feel like i'm not. that's why 'm here. any support?

:worried:

Re: Worried

Postby cloud » Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:03 am

Don't worry.

You are not, that is it. I felt the same way for a VERY long time (about 5 years) about another fetish that I started to explore from when I was about 11. It is only till recently that I feel ok about it.

Just remember, you are not the only one. Their are lots of other people and I don't just mean online. Would you go and talk to your friends willingly about this? I doubt it so why will they. Just remember everyone is different, which is a good thing. Different is good, it is interesting and it is what drives a lot of people to do daily things. If everyone was the same we would all listen to the same music, eat the same food, do nearly everything the same and their would be no variation in anything.


So, really, just stick at it and see what it leads to and enjoy the journey. Don't bother trying to fight it really, as it is a part of who you are and what makes you different from everyone else.
Oh, a TUG! Do I have to play alone?
First Fictional Story (chapters 0-18): Moved Closer by Bondage

Re: Worried

Postby DiseasedTeen » Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:28 am

ok thanks, your right, there must be others around me who enjoy this type of thing. hell, im glad im into this, its some kinky stuff! thanks cloud :)

Re: Worried

Postby NemesisPrime » Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:29 am

No, that's what makes you human.

I can remember being 14 and being turned on seeing guys tied up and gagged with tape and how badly I wanted to be as well! I kept thinking to myself that I was a pervert and werid since no one in their right mind should enjoy being tied up and helpless but as I've gotten older and looked into the subject more I've come to terms I just do and I can't change it and repressing would only make it worse.

I've been caught in the act of taping my mouth up several times and while my folks still do not agree with it I told them to trust me and I'm not going to do anything stupid.

You are normal and there's nothing wrong with being a little different. There will be people who can't and/or won't be able to understand and that's fine but there are people out there who do understand. You just have to dig a little deeper.
Everyone speaks in multiple languages...But gag talk is universal and a sock in your mouth is the perfect translator!

Re: Worried

Postby DiseasedTeen » Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:30 am

thanks, just realized how glad i am about being into this, it's some kinky and interesting stuff, better than normal stuff eh :wink:

your right, there must be others around me who enjoy this as well, it's too much fun not to be. many thanks cloud :P

:gag:

Re: Worried

Postby mikeybound » Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:58 am

There are people who have sex without making babies, jump out of planes for fun, and climb a mountain just to do it. Does that make them insane?
As long as it's consensual, very few things can be considered sick or wrong. This is not one of them. :-)
It's up to all of us, as people, to find what makes us happy. If ropes and gags does it for you, do be it!

Re: Worried

Postby Fesselfan » Thu Jan 10, 2013 12:53 am

The only sick thing is: not accepting your own desires.

Cheers

FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

Re: Worried

Postby mikeybound » Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:34 am

Fesselfan wrote:The only sick thing is: not accepting your own desires.

Cheers

FF

And pedophilia. That's...that's just wrong. :roll:

Re: Worried

Postby Fesselfan » Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:58 am

mikeybound wrote:
Fesselfan wrote:The only sick thing is: not accepting your own desires.

Cheers

FF

And pedophilia. That's...that's just wrong. :roll:


I have to -mildly- contradict here, even if I wont be popular for this.
Sexual desire is no active choice- usually, you can't choose i.e. if you like men or women. Or if you are into tie-ups. Or whatever.
So, a certain desire can't be right or wrong- it is simply there or not.
In my opinion, the focal point is the actual living out of desires. And this is what a pedophile should not do. However, it is contraproductive if he pretends his desire is not there.
And yes- I am very glad and thankfull that I have desires that, albeit not being "normal", can be acted out with other consenting adults!

Cheers

FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

Re: Worried

Postby Rope_guy » Wed Jan 16, 2013 5:53 pm

Fesselfan wrote:
mikeybound wrote:
Fesselfan wrote:The only sick thing is: not accepting your own desires.

Cheers

FF

And pedophilia. That's...that's just wrong. :roll:


I have to -mildly- contradict here, even if I wont be popular for this.
Sexual desire is no active choice- usually, you can't choose i.e. if you like men or women. Or if you are into tie-ups. Or whatever.
So, a certain desire can't be right or wrong- it is simply there or not.
In my opinion, the focal point is the actual living out of desires. And this is what a pedophile should not do. However, it is countrerproductive if he pretends his desire is not there.
And yes- I am very glad and thankfull that I have desires that, albeit not being "normal", can be acted out with other consenting adults!

Cheers

FF


True pedophilia (the sexual attraction of pre-adolescent children) is a mental illness that must be treated to make sure the person with it does not pose a threat to society. First of all, pre-adolescent children are NOT sexual beings, and anyone who sees them as sexual being should rightfully be seen as sick. Anyone with certain sexual desires will eventually act on those desires, so it is important that anyone who is found to have pedophilia must be required to undergo treatment if that person has not done anything wrong. If that treatment requires commitment to a mental institution, so be it, because that person will eventually act on those desires and the protection of children comes first. The same thing with people with other mental conditions that may lead to criminal activity such as psychopaths. Fortunately such people often exhibit "warning" signs before they turn to harmful behavior. For a pedophile, that is often viewing and collecting child pornography, which is an already illegal activity but easily available on the Internet. I think someone caught with a stash of child pornography and has no previous sexual offenses should be examined by psychiatrists and be placed on probation, which the treatment recommended by the psychiatrists part of the probation conditions.

On other words, anyone who has sexual desires for children MUST get professional help and treatment because eventually he will act on those desires, which will land him in a lot of trouble.

Re: Worried

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Jan 16, 2013 7:29 pm

Hey, I've been into this for a while too, and I am very much confused about the whole thing myself. I question whether I'm sick, or if everyone on here is sick, or whether I just need to calm the heck down and realize this is a fetish many people like.

I've told many of my friends about them. None of them really thinks it's weird and some even told me that they think it makes sense coming from me. Some of the aspects, though, don't...but that's all part of being a teenager (at seventeen, it's okay to feel bad about being attracted to things like this; I feel bad about it and I'm nineteen).

As far as pedophilia goes, when you guys defined it as pre-adolscent sexual attraction, I felt better, cause I have to say, I sometimes find myself crushing on thirteen year old boys.....I'm kind of a cougar, and that's also kind of illegal (even though I'm not planning on having sex with anyone).

Anywho, I'd kind of like to discuss this further, but I don't know much about you. If you want to talk more, post here, or heck, message me if you want.

Re: Worried

Postby cellofello » Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:00 pm

Sacrificiallove wrote:Hey, I've been into this for a while too, and I am very much confused about the whole thing myself. I question whether I'm sick, or if everyone on here is sick, or whether I just need to calm the heck down and realize this is a fetish many people like.


It is the official position of the psychological profession that a fetish is only a sickness if it causes (non-accidental) injury to you or to others, or significantly interferes with your ability to live a normal life. So if you don't believe us, believe the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Revision (a/k/a DSM-IV).

Is an interest in bondage abnormal? Well, yes. But that's not the same thing as being wrong. Albert Einstein was abnormally smart. Mother Theresa was abnormally altruistic. Usain Bolt is abnormally fast. People with photographic memories and perfect pitch are abnormal. There are lots of ways of being abnormal that are harmless, even beneficial and laudable.

Some people think it's fun to stuff a bunch of silk into a backpack and jump out of an airplane, or tie stretchy cords to their ankles and jump off a bridge. Some people like to climb up the sides of mountains. Others like to strap long sticks to their feet and slide down mountains at breakneck speed. I would say that the serious injury and mortality rate is greater for those activities than for being tied up. Yet I don't hear such people called sick.

What matters is meaningful consent. Sex without consent is rape; with consent it's entirely unremarkable. Bondage without consent is assault; with consent why should it be any different than any other activity that two people enjoy together, such as ballroom dancing or tennis or (for that matter) sex?
Last edited by cellofello on Thu Jan 17, 2013 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Worried

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:07 pm

cellofello wrote:
Sacrificiallove wrote:Hey, I've been into this for a while too, and I am very much confused about the whole thing myself. I question whether I'm sick, or if everyone on here is sick, or whether I just need to calm the heck down and realize this is a fetish many people like.

What matters is meaningful consent. Sex without consent is rape; with consent it's entirely unremarkable. Bondage without consent is assault; with consent why should it be any different than any other activity that two people enjoy together, such as ballroom dancing or tennis or (for that matter) sex?

This is very true. I agree that if there is consent, it isn't sick in any way.

If the poster of this topic is anything like me, though, I think the questions I was posting in my thread kind of apply, though I can't speak for them.

Like, I feel sick when I watch a person who has been kidnapped agains their will and has forcefully been tied up and gagged with no hope of escaping of their own accord and I find myself getting turned on by it. I feel really freaking sick. I feel sick that I'd be turned on by something non consenual. Because when there's not consent involved, it's not sex, it's rape, like you said. And like you said, bondage without consent is assault, so it's really not even bondage. The fetish itself is fine, and if you're turned on by it, then okay, but personally I feel quite a bit dirty when I get turned on by non consenual stuff.

You ever watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? If I found myself getting turned on by Lisbeth's rape scene, I'd feel absolutely sick and disgusted with myself. Luckily I didn't get turned on by it. It's hard to watch. And I would kind of find it sick if someone was turned on by it.

And the people who like the torture porn genre, I bet they often asks themselves if they're sick.

I think us asking that question though, is what makes us not sick. The fact that we know it's sick makes us not sick. Because in real life, we'd never do these things. I think for some of us, we'll never get rid of the sickness we feel when we see non consenual stuff, but that's probably a good thing...........what we're watching isn't okay, and if we still have enough of a boundary to let ourselves watch it, but know that it is sick, then we have the right to watch it. It's when we start to enjoy it without that sickness that means we are turning sick.

I know that sounded a bit convoluted. All I'm saying is it's okay to feel sick about it. Sometimes that's a good thing, because in the end, that means your not sick at all. It's like a crazy person doesn't know they're crazy, and if you think you are crazy, then you're not.

Re: Worried

Postby cellofello » Thu Jan 17, 2013 1:18 am

Sacrificiallove wrote:Like, I feel sick when I watch a person who has been kidnapped agains their will and has forcefully been tied up and gagged with no hope of escaping of their own accord and I find myself getting turned on by it. I feel really freaking sick. I feel sick that I'd be turned on by something non consenual.


Arousal is in one sense a very complex thing, yet in another way a very simple thing. You have an intellect, but also a much more primitive animal nature. You (or more precisely, your primitive animal nature) can want one specific aspect of a scene without wanting the complete package. For example, you can see a movie scene of someone hogtied and gagged unwillingly, and be turned on because you'd like to tie a willing victim in exactly that way, or because you'd like to experience being tied in exactly that position - provided of course it's done with your consent by someone you trust. What you're seeing is enough like what you want that it turns you on despite the presence of things you absolutely don't want.

Your intellect tells you that you should be revolted by the forcible nature of the scene. Your animal self, however, focuses on just the part of the scene it finds appealing and filters out the unappetizing aspects. And then your intellect is revolted by the fact that your animal self compartmentalizes and filters in that way, cheerfully ignoring the fact that the victim in the scene you're watching had no choice. (Except that in a movie, it's only a pretense that there was no choice - the "victim" is actually an actor who agreed to play the scene.)

Re: Worried

Postby randomentity » Thu Jan 17, 2013 7:40 am

I have really enjoyed reading your well thought out points, cellofello! They certainly do clarify and explain a lot for those of us wishing to better understand our own minds and bodies as regarding fetishes!

Re: Worried

Postby trammel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:23 am

Fesselfan wrote:The only sick thing is: not accepting your own desires.

Cheers

FF


Can't disagree more. Many of our desires our sick or wrong. Wisdom is being able to sort out what is Ok from what is not.

Example: what if I am sick of your posts and want you dead? Using your logic, I guess i come after you or hire a hit man. Fortunately, I excercise wisdom and that won't be an issue (and I don't seriously want you dead anyway).

Sick is giving in to all your whims and desires. Health is exercising wisdom and rising above your emotions to do what is right.

Re: Worried

Postby trammel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:29 am

Rope_guy wrote:
Fesselfan wrote:
mikeybound wrote:
Fesselfan wrote:The only sick thing is: not accepting your own desires.

Cheers

FF

And pedophilia. That's...that's just wrong. :roll:


I have to -mildly- contradict here, even if I wont be popular for this.
Sexual desire is no active choice- usually, you can't choose i.e. if you like men or women. Or if you are into tie-ups. Or whatever.
So, a certain desire can't be right or wrong- it is simply there or not.
In my opinion, the focal point is the actual living out of desires. And this is what a pedophile should not do. However, it is countrerproductive if he pretends his desire is not there.
And yes- I am very glad and thankfull that I have desires that, albeit not being "normal", can be acted out with other consenting adults!

Cheers

FF


True pedophilia (the sexual attraction of pre-adolescent children) is a mental illness that must be treated to make sure the person with it does not pose a threat to society. First of all, pre-adolescent children are NOT sexual beings, and anyone who sees them as sexual being should rightfully be seen as sick. Anyone with certain sexual desires will eventually act on those desires, so it is important that anyone who is found to have pedophilia must be required to undergo treatment if that person has not done anything wrong. If that treatment requires commitment to a mental institution, so be it, because that person will eventually act on those desires and the protection of children comes first. The same thing with people with other mental conditions that may lead to criminal activity such as psychopaths. Fortunately such people often exhibit "warning" signs before they turn to harmful behavior. For a pedophile, that is often viewing and collecting child pornography, which is an already illegal activity but easily available on the Internet. I think someone caught with a stash of child pornography and has no previous sexual offenses should be examined by psychiatrists and be placed on probation, which the treatment recommended by the psychiatrists part of the probation conditions.

On other words, anyone who has sexual desires for children MUST get professional help and treatment because eventually he will act on those desires, which will land him in a lot of trouble.


Thanks, Rope Guy. We don't need people even appearing to defend pedophilia on here! Good explaination. Besides pedophilia landing the perp in trouble, it harms kids for life and is just evil.

Re: Worried

Postby trammel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:33 am

mikeybound wrote:There are people who have sex without making babies, jump out of planes for fun, and climb a mountain just to do it. Does that make them insane?
As long as it's consensual, very few things can be considered sick or wrong. This is not one of them. :-)
It's up to all of us, as people, to find what makes us happy. If ropes and gags does it for you, do be it!


Mostly agree. Ultimately, it is wrong if it hurts others and unhealthy if it hurts you.

As for tie ups, I too see people bungy jumping off bridges, swimming with sharks, and swallowing swords as a challenge and can't help but wonder, what is the big deal about enjoying being tied up or tie up challenges?

Re: Worried

Postby Rope_guy » Sun Feb 03, 2013 6:38 pm

trammel wrote:
As for tie ups, I too see people bungy jumping off bridges, swimming with sharks, and swallowing swords as a challenge and can't help but wonder, what is the big deal about enjoying being tied up or tie up challenges?


One reason is that many people see the engaging in any activity that might have a sexual connection, or is related to sexual activity such as foreplay as being sinful and wrong. There are people, notably Southern Baptists, who still object to dancing. Think of the movie Footloose. Of course there are certain dance moves that are overtly sexual, but dancing as a whole is a clean activity. But to certain religious prudes, dancing is forever tainted by that connection to sex. There are still some Christian fundamentalists who object to jazz music (and any other modern music genre in general). Part of it is the mistaken belief that jazz music originated in brothels. Those same people will not go near beaches since they object to mixed gender bathing, not to mention scanty clothing. It's only recently that homosexuality has gained wide acceptance, but a vocal, influential part of the population still objects to it. As a result, some homosexuals still have guilty feelings about their orientation.

Re: Worried

Postby mikeybound » Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:21 pm

I'm just trying to figure out how anyone thought sex was wrong, period. Let alone convince so many people!

Re: Worried

Postby Rope_guy » Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:19 pm

mikeybound wrote:I'm just trying to figure out how anyone thought sex was wrong, period. Let alone convince so many people!


One obvious answer: religion. Many religions teach that sex outside the marriage of a man and a woman is wrong. Not only that, but the Abrahamic religions, in particular, taught that sex for any purpose other than procreation was a sin. Adam and Eve supposedly did not have genitals until after they ate the Forbidden Fruit since, for one thing, they were supposed to live forever. Some conservative Christians still refer to genitals as "shameful parts". Because of these beliefs, sex was frowned on except for the necessary function of reproduction, and the only sexual position allowed was the missionary position. Any sexual foreplay was prohibited along with any other activity connected with sex. So certain activities came to be seen as sinful, even outside of the context of sex, including consensual bondage.

Re: Worried

Postby DiseasedTeen » Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:57 am

this entire thread has been very helpful and an insight into what it means to have a fetish. many thanks :P