Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:10 pm

*disclaimer, no chains used* (also, its my first story, please dont hate it)
Alex was your normal kid. Not too tall, not too short, not too fat or skinny. He was liked in his class. He didn't really get in trouble. His parents weren't rich or famous or anything. As I said, Alex was a normal, long blond-haired kid of 16.
And he didnt know where he was.
He was in a bag, that was for certain. He had been kidnapped as well, he was sure of that. As for why, he drew a blank. A painful, sad, lonely, fear-filled blank. He tried to recount what happened, but the memories were a little blotchy.

It was a pretty sunny day, so he decided to wear his gym gear while walking home. It was made up of shiny(ish) gym shorts that came down to below his knee, and a sleeveless navy jersey. He let the small breeze of the day cool his sweaty brow. He hadn't gotten any homework that day, he got an "A" in his maths test, and he was going to the cinema the next day. There was no-one else on the road or street, except for two guys having a cigarrette. He nodded in hello, and they nodded back. They looked like nice enough guys. He heard a car, or more accurately a van, drive up the street. It stopped beside Alex. The window rolled down and the driver said,
"come here for a sec, will ya?"
Alex, being the nice kid that he was, obliged.
"here, do you know where to get... NOW!"
Alex had no time to react as he was grabbed by strong hands from behind. He tried to scream, but a hand clamped his mouth shut. He was then dragged around to the back of the van, where he was pulled in by the driver.
"GET IN YA PAIR OF GOBSHITES!!!"
The driver roared at the two men.
Alex tried to get out of their iron grasp, causing one of them to strike him across the face.
"shut...the f**k...up"
And, it seemed, to put force behind his words, he held Alex's hands behind his back as he took a rag out of his pocket, inserted (with some degree of hassle) into the boy's mouth before grabbing a roll of duct tape and wrapping it around his head about 9 times. He then moved onto Alex's wrists, knees, and then ankles. Soon, Alex was bound and gagged on the floor of the cold, unwelcoming van.
He stayed like that for what seemed like hours, everytime he made a noise being responded to with a swift punch in the gut. The van eventually stopped. The men got out, leaving Alex behind them.
Alex, feeling very alone and very scared, started to cry...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby xtc » Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:20 pm

I can't hate it!
You've made a very good start!

Please beware: capitalisation is a bit important!
xrc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Jack Roper » Thu Sep 16, 2010 3:56 pm

Great story so far.
Hey, I didn't even notice any problem with capitalization either!

Aloha.....mmmmppphhhh!

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:35 pm

Haha nice title. Im guessing a play on Alice in Chains? Good story!

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Jason Toddman » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:26 pm

Hate the title. Why? Because *I* was gonna use it for a story of mine!!! Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! :x
Oh well... I guess it's a natural parody title to think of (at elast, *I* thought of it for the reason Scottstud mentions), and first come first served! :quirk:
Promising start. Let's see more to this story. :)
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:30 am

Jason Toddman wrote:Hate the title. Why? Because *I* was gonna use it for a story of mine!!! Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! :x
Oh well... I guess it's a natural parody title to think of (at elast, *I* thought of it for the reason Scottstud mentions), and first come first served! :quirk:
Promising start. Let's see more to this story. :)


Ah, my apologies.

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:32 am

Unfortunately, My internets down (im at an internet café as I write this) so i wont be able to post for a while. Sry. maaaaybe about ... two-three days. again, sorry bout this.

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:00 pm

(MY internets working again! YAAAAAY)

Alex lay on the cold, desolate van floor for what seemed like hours. His tears had formed a salty crust, and he could barely breathe for the snot clogging up his nose. The duct tape had begun to wrinkle, and cut into his wrists. Suddenly, the van door swung open, and one of his captors stood there staring at the boy. He reached in and, grabbing Alex by his dirty hair, dragged him out of the van, where he landed with a thud upon the concrete.
The kidnapper stooped, and, cutting off the tape, said:
"What's your name, kid?" A note of sympathy seeping into his voice.
"Alex" The scared boy replied. The man ordered him to turn around, where he bound his wrists with a cable tie.
"I'll have you on a leash. Follow me." In doing so, he strapped a collar around Alex's throat, and put a bag over his head, saying:
"Don't lag behind."

The walk toward this unknown location was long and arduous, Alex falling or tripping several times. Every time he did, he felt a hard yank on the collar, which, he supposed, was a way of 'helping' him up. They walked for hours, until he was stopped, and the bag whipped off his head. He saw before him a pleasant-looking college, with a thatched roof and an inviting red door. His house had a red door, too. Alex wanted to go home. Why was this happening to him? What did he do wrong? The questions left him on the verge of tears, a hard lump forming in his throat.He heard footsteps, and thought that they might be answered soon.

A tall, skinny man was walking purposefully towards him. He had an air of power about him, Alex thought. The tall man approached the other, saying,
"Is this another one? You're doing well this week. Five childeren in as many days! The baron will indeed be pleased."
He looked at Alex.
"Do you know why you're here?"
Alex shook his head.
"Its because your Parents don't want you. You're here to be sold to a new family. one that you will find... a purpose for...what that purpose is, however..."
He leaned in close,
"Is up to them."
His words struck like hammers upon Alex's heart. His parents? He looked back over the past few months, and tried to find something that he did, but... well... there was that time he tried smoking, but... no... his parents wouldn't give him up for that.........would they?

The tall man took the leash and lead Alex away. Alex stumbled. The tall man spun in a terrible fury, and backhanded Alex, hard, upon the cheek. The blow stung, and Alex cried out. The tall man took a hankie from his pocket, and cleave-gagged the boy, roaring
"YOU WILL NEVER UTTER A SOUND IN MY PRESCENCE WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION. AM I CLEAR?!?!?"
Alex recoiled and nodded fast.
"Good, now on our way."

Alex kept pace the entire time, hoping not to feel the wrath of the tall man upon his reddening cheek.
"Now listen," the man began,"You will stay here, with the other unwanted little boys and girls, until the Auction, Whereupon you will be sold into another, more loving family." The tall man cut the cable tie with a pair of pliers from his pocket. "Take off your clothes. Now."
Alex was frightened at the command, but did as he was told. In a moment he was just to his boxers.
"All of them"
Alex, poor, lonely Alex, Couldn't. He just couldn't. Not in front of him. Not in front of anyone. No. Never...
"NOW!!"
Alex hesitated. The veins on the tall man's neck started to pop with rage.
"NOOOW!!!"
Alex took a step back. The tall man lunged forward and seized his wrist, rubbing against the ugly marks left by his bindings. The tall man singled out his baby finger and held the pliers to it. His voice quietened.
"All of them. Or I think you know what happens next"
Alex looked into the man's black, remorseless eyes...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Jason Toddman » Sat Sep 18, 2010 9:27 pm

Ummm... the story itself is well enough told. But the second part is definitely too dark in tone for me.
Not only do I find situations involving terror no fun to read at all, but as a child I actually knew a kid who went through something a tad similar to this (only it was a woman neighbor who was supposed to be his babysitter). She chained him up and literally tortured him. It scarred him emotionally for life. I can't read this any further without being reminded of how sick I felt; of the terror I saw in his eyes when he told me what had happened to him. He ended up in an institution; the woman fled the state and as far as I know was never caught. He was frightened of thenpossibility of her return even once he'd grown up.
Sorry, but to me something like this isn't really TUGs at all, but a story of plain and simple abuse.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:22 am

Jason Toddman wrote:Ummm... the story itself is well enough told. But the second part is definitely too dark in tone for me.
Not only do I find situations involving terror no fun to read at all, but as a child I actually knew a kid who went through something a tad similar to this (only it was a woman neighbor who was supposed to be his babysitter). She chained him up and literally tortured him. It scarred him emotionally for life. I can't read this any further without being reminded of how sick I felt; of the terror I saw in his eyes when he told me what had happened to him. He ended up in an institution; the woman fled the state and as far as I know was never caught. He was frightened of thenpossibility of her return even once he'd grown up.
Sorry, but to me something like this isn't really TUGs at all, but a story of plain and simple abuse.


I can definitely see what you mean. I even thought myself that the second part was a tad too dark for a lot of peoples' tastes. I'll try my best to lighten it up while retaining the storyline I had planned, though i feel now some changes are necessary. Thank you for telling me. I wasn't intending to hurt anyone's feelings or make them relive any painful memories. I'm deeply sorry, and I'll rectify the problem soon. The only problem is that the end of the second part leaves it a little dark, so the beginning of the next part will follow that tone for a small while, but I'll correct it soon. Again, my apologies.

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Jason Toddman » Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:20 am

No apologies needed. It is of course your story and should tell it the way you want. This was only my personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect anyone elses'. Also of course you'd have had no way of knowing something as unlikely as this would actually be (if indirectly) part of anyone else's actual experience reading this story. And such things as the events of this story so far probably really do happen unfortunately; I just happen to have a personal reason to find it especially harrowing to read about it. That's not your fault and I didn't mean to cause you any distress about it in turn.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby xtc » Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:38 am

I agree it’s dark but probably none the worse for that. Both light and shade are necessary to make a complete picture.

I sympathise with Jason who is a true, supportive, encouraging critical friend to me and to many others on this board, but such coincidences can not be legislated for nor anticipated by authors. Sorry, Jason.

The writing style is exemplary. Compare it with some of the lists that are posted under the guise of narrative!

Keep writing and be true to yourself.

Wassail!
xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:00 pm

I thank you all for your criticism, and will try to remain faithful to myself while retaining a quality of writing that I feel must be there.
Part three will be out sometime this week, as there is a small part that I wish to change in the coming chapters...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:04 pm

Jason Toddman wrote:No apologies needed. It is of course your story and should tell it the way you want. This was only my personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect anyone elses'. Also of course you'd have had no way of knowing something as unlikely as this would actually be (if indirectly) part of anyone else's actual experience reading this story. And such things as the events of this story so far probably really do happen unfortunately; I just happen to have a personal reason to find it especially harrowing to read about it. That's not your fault and I didn't mean to cause you any distress about it in turn.


I'm afraid I must respectfully disagree. I anticipated and based my story loosely on the problem of human trafficking, but did so without any intentions to harm or upset. So i must insist my deepest apologies to you, and to everyone else I might have upset.

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Jason Toddman » Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:13 pm

As you wish. Perhaps I should post a story about the incident I am referring to sometime. I haven't up to now because, unlike most of my stories, there is no scope for my dry sense of humor in it, but perhaps I should do it anyway for therapeutic reasons if nothing else.
Anyway, as xtc says, the story is well written. However my reaction to the story itself, you obviously have considerable skill as a writer. I look forward to more stories from you - written in a hopefully lighter vein.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Scottstud94 » Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:56 pm

I dont think it was that dark.... getting near it but the goal is to get a reaction from the reader!

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sat Feb 26, 2011 9:56 am

{Oh. Wow. I was looking through the TUG stories and saw my one. I had completely forgotten about it! if you wish, I'll finish it up. I will add another little bit to the story to act as a personal incentive. My belated apologies.}

A twitch. Something had changed in the man. His eyes lightened slightly, and he retook the pliers from around the digit. They had cut, and Alex was bleeding.
"Humph. Very well. Just know that I won't be as nice next time. Now follow me, and stay silent."
Alex counted his blessings. He gazed down at the bloody finger, thanking God it was still there to see. The two entered through the inviting red door, which had lost some of its appeal by now.
Inside was surprisingly pleasant. There were ferns, a few nice chairs, and a few doors, through which nice fumes would waft. Alex would not see them for long. He was led down to a basement. He could feel himself getting colder and colder with every step he took...


{as I said, a small bit}

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Jason Toddman » Sat Feb 26, 2011 11:12 am

I'd wondered what happened with this story. I was afraid i had inadvertently put you off on doing it altogether. Glad that's not the case.

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby three time's a duct taping » Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:47 am

At the bottom of the stairs leading down to the basement, Alex could not believe his eyes.
There were more. More people like him, in the same predicament. They were all blindfolded, and handcuffed, arms above them to poles. They were wearing oversized soccer uniforms that hung down unflatteringly. Alex was ushered through to the other side of the room and through a door into a bathroom. The man glared at him, and pointed to a bag lying in the middle of the floor.
"You have three minutes. Get dressed."
With that he exited, leaving Alex to clothe himself. He looked in the bag, and saw another ill-fitting soccer kit. He put it on, and looked back in the bag to see if there was anything else. He took in a sharp breath. Inside, hidden under the clothes were two rolls of tape, handcuffs, belts, handkerchiefs, bandannas, and a bright red ball gag. He knew that they were to be used on him. He just knew it.
The man re-entered, this time with a wheelchair, and one hand behind his back.
"It's time for your interview with the Boss. You can come the easy way, or the hard way. Either way, you'll be sitting in this." he inclined his head towards the wheelchair.
Alex hesitated. "Sit. Down." Alex stood back.
"N-no..."
"No?"
The man moved with lightning speed. His hand withdrew from behind his back, revealing a taser. He seized Alex's throat and jammed the taser into his side. Alex felt the electricity arc along him, and he went limp. He felt himself being flung into the chair, and heard a muffled command from the man. Two others came in, and began to restrain him using the items in the bag. First, a handkerchief was forced into his mouth followed closely by the bright red of the ball-gag. His wrists were duct taped to the arms of the chair, as were his ankles. A few belts were used to keep his shoulders still. The last thing he knew was the blindfold and a small bump as he was led from the bathroom.

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby Gagamaniac64 » Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:32 pm

Brilliant so far. Please continue fast , can't wait for the next part :)))))

Re: Alex in Chains

Postby KamJM » Mon Aug 20, 2012 1:30 am

Does it end here?
Hope not...