## Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by drawscore » Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:29 pm

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN and MSNBC
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America ' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”
5:00 PM – “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime Travel Log” - Michelle Obama
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi
6:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat’s appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.
7:30 PM - Dinner. Choice of freshly grilled collie; doberman dunks; filet of hound; or blazing bassett. For desert, ice cream with chuhuaua chunks. From Barack Obama's personal receipe book.
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, The Miami Herald, the Tampa Bay Times, and the New York Times
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for Iraq & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally
11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by Kyle » Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:14 pm

I give it 4/10.

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by Jack Roper » Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:35 pm

Hey Drawsccore, you could at least correctly attribute this humor to who actually wrote it...and...it's from 2008! Kinda stale with only a few updates.
Democratic Convention Schedule
Denver, Colorado
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial Terrorist Fist-Jab led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM – Jesse Jackson Leads Castrati Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival Tips – Dennis Kucinich
5:15 PM – John Edwards Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Hotel Bathroom
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Emperors VIP Club
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States Obama Has Visited
6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Acceptance Speech Featuring a 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
8:45 PM – Hillary Clinton Releases Her Delegates and Flying Monkeys
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:30 PM – Exclusive Panties-Optional Celebrity Party Hosted by Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Congressman William "Cold Cash" Jefferson
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter and Clingy Gun Owners
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Denial of Progress in Iraq and Waving of White Flag
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM – Free Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Pep Rally
11:30 PM – Al Gore Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama via Text Message Sent by Scarlett Johansson
12:01 AM – Barack Obama Accepts Nomination for Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Hillary Clinton Delivers Acceptance Speech
~By Daniel Kurtzman

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by Kyle » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:31 pm

I wondered where he took this from.

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by Chris12 » Tue Aug 14, 2012 10:09 pm

Something interesting going on here? nope, nothing to see here people! move allong.
Anyway

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by drawscore » Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:06 pm

>>Hey Drawsccore, you could at least correctly attribute this humor to who actually wrote it...and...it's from 2008! Kinda stale with only a few updates.<<
There are various versions out there, including one for the Republicans, as well. The first time I saw it was 20+ years ago. It has been modified from its original form to reflect the politics of the day that the original writer, and subsequent re-writers wanted to lampoon. I remember a version that had a time slot for the "Demo Combo," featuring "Bill Clinton on sax, Hillary Clinton on air guitar, and Ted Kennedy on Scotch." Since Ted Kennedy died, using that line in the "schedule" now, would be "less than tasteful." Unlike Democrats, Republicans have respect for the dead, even dead politicians with whom they disagreed. Democrats dig them up, and take them to the polling places so they can vote.
Drawscore

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by Jason Toddman » Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:03 pm

Drawscore once again disproves his own contention that he's a person with centrist viewpoints. Any way you look at it, Ted Kennedy or no, this sort of nonsense is in very poor taste. Constant demonization of the other party as un-American serves no purpose but to divide this country even further than it already has been.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by drawscore » Tue Sep 04, 2012 3:37 pm

>>>Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule
Postby drawscore » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:06 pm<<<
Gee, 19 days after the fact, and you'e just getting around to it?
Drawscore

### Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule

Post by Jason Toddman » Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:19 am

> drawscore wrote:>>>Re: Democrat National Convention Schedule
> Postby drawscore » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:06 pm<<<
> Gee, 19 days after the fact, and you'e just getting around to it?
> Drawscore

Yes.
I haven't been checking for new posts in this section much lately, so I didn't notice it before.
So sue me!
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...