## My Experiences So Far (A Short Collection)

Post by shyguy92 » Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:10 pm

So I debated with myself on splitting these up or just writing it all in one go. The latter won out, since unfortunately a lot of details have been lost to time and me doing other things (and frankly weren't all that exciting to begin with...)
This is my first attempt to write anything like this, so I apologize if it's not quite up to scratch standard-wise. I'm just going to use people's initials, I hope that's okay. I rather seriously doubt they'd be happy about being mentioned here...
Anywho, here goes!
*dramatic music*
IN THE BEGINNING...
This is weirdly one of my earliest clear memories of ANYTHING. I was four or five years old (pretty sure 4, almost 5, so that would make it 1997), and it was a wonderful late summer day. My mom and grandma and her sisters were all visiting my great grandma, and my cousins, brother and I were all dragged along. Since we were getting bored and starting to complain, the adults shoved us outside to entertain ourselves.
"Us" here meaning myself (4), my brother B. (2), my cousin J. (9), and his younger brother E. (3). B. mostly wandered off to entertain himself, although of course I was expected to keep an eye on him. Us slightly older kids all had those toy cap guns and ran around "shooting" each other and hiding behind trees and bushes. The yard seemed huge then, from a little kid's perspective. Grandma had a well-kept, decent-sized property out in the country, so there was plenty of space to run, hide, and if necessary ambush one's relatives.
After a while, J. went and grabbed something new he had to show us. It was a pair of plastic toy handcuffs, which for were a sort of sky blue color. He stuck them to his bike handlebars and rode around with them (you'd think we would have brought them into the game, but I think he was more interested just in showing off.) For whatever reason I could hardly take my eyes off of them. But I was too afraid to ask to hold them or anything.
We were called back in for lunch. All the other kids laid down for a nap, but I couldn't sleep. Then I had a thought: where were those cuffs?! I looked over at my cousin's backpack, and...yes! There was the blue! I snuck over and slowly pulled them out, and then stole away into a back bedroom. I thought I was being really stealthy at the time, although I don't imagine my four year old self was actually being all that subtle.
Anyway, I laid them out on the carpet in front of me. Ran my hands over them, pulled them apart just a bit to feel the chain stop. Then I slipped them on, and tested it again. I can't remember my exact thoughts, but it was definitely something new, something interesting, something I wanted more time with to work through, as it were. The feeling of restriction, however slight, was oddly fascinating. I took them off, put them back down, and picked them up again. Tried them on again.
And the chain fell apart! I didn't know then that those things would have broken if you looked at them funny. I was really upset that I'd broken the cool new toy, and my cousin would be mad at me. I tried to put them back without anyone noticing, but I was in too much of a state to really hide anything. The adults calmed me down again. I don't remember how J. took it.
My memories of the rest of that day are unfortunately slightly spoiled by a bee sting. Yellowjackets are pure evil in an exoskeleton. I think the only insect I hate slightly more than wasps are mosquitoes, which I seem to attract like nothing else.
From there I have always been interested in seeing tie-ups, especially handcuffs. I got into that "cop and fireman" stage a lot of kids get into, and of course I always wanted to be the cop (and sometimes the robber!) Unlike a lot of people, I never quite grew out of it, either. Law enforcement remains a major interest, although I don't think I could personally do it as a job at this point. For one thing, I'm not very tall (5'7") and am slightly overweight and DEFINITELY badly out of shape. I respect the heck out of those guys for doing what they do, though.
I watched and still watch a lot of related shows. Have you noticed on Cops that they always have a few shots of people's cuffed hands?
As a kid I had toy cuffs a lot, those cheap die-cast ones. They were better than the plastic ones, without a doubt, but they always seemed a bit unsatisfying. They had too much chain and too few teeth. More to the point, they couldn't lock properly. I tried to get friends to play cops and robbers a lot, and people almost ALWAYS cheated and let themselves out. A good chunk of the fun was the chase, but it was always frustrating when you finally caught somebody just so they could immediately take off again as soon as your back was turned. I wanted real ones badly, but it wasn't something I felt like I could ask my parents for and I had no idea where to get any.
As I got older, other people became less interested in playing. I started to realize my interest was unusual, and I had to start repressing it a bit. Don't get me wrong, my parents are wonderful people and are generally understanding, but this just wasn't something I could share. I felt like I was weird, and that if I talked about it other people would think I was weird. Especially after that shift in high school where a lot of people go from "that's cool!" to "ew, gross" because all of the more...adult implications...set in. I was still trying to keep it innocent, but good luck getting some people to believe that, especially in the fairly rural and very conservative area I live in.
I did have one friend, A., a neighbor kid who was 3 years younger than me, stay interested for longer, and I'm forever grateful for it. We never talked about it, really, but we had a lot of fun cuffing each other in relative private. Well, mostly me cuffing him, but hey, it was something.
Unfortunately even he moved on after a while.
When I was 17, the summer before my senior year of high school, I finally laid my hands (and wrists) on a real pair. I found a police supply store online and found out I could send in a money order, so I didn't need a card. They were even having a sale! I got a package deal on a pair each of black Smith and Wesson hinged and chain cuffs for about $40. I made the order and sent the money off, and then spent a week being super impatient. I hung out outside on our front deck a lot to intercept the UPS guy in case he came when my parents were home for lunch or something. Preventing awkward questions, you see.
When the box finally arrived, I was beyond excited. I took it around the back of the house, out of the sight of windows, and opened it up. I always remember the paper, that slight smell of oil, catching the keys before they fell to the ground and got lost. The heavy solidness, the cool feel that was really nice on a summer day. The smooth rotation and pleasant, somehow reassuring clicking sound of engaging ratchets. When I cautiously tried them on, I reveled in a sense of not being able to move much. A strange, almost euphoric rush; a simultaneous sense of security and freedom somehow mixed together. Even better when I tried them on behind.
And best of all, no stinkin' safety latch. Oh yes, I was thrilled. I would often cuff myself behind my back for a bit before I went to bed at night, since it was the only opportunity I felt I had. One Saturday night I actually fell asleep with them on. Whoops. Luckily I'd double-locked them, so no worries about them tightening on me. And I managed to wake up and take them off before anyone noticed in the morning. My shoulders ached for a couple hours or so, though.
I was able to play with my friend A. every now and then, but the times became more and more infrequent. A year passed, and I went off to college. Freshman year with my roommate (my friend T.) not much happened, although I'd bribe him with a soda to let me cuff him every so often.
Sophomore year I moved into an apartment with friends, which was a huge improvement over the dorm that I hated. That winter break, I can't remember why or how, my friend JK found my box of cuffs. After that, a glorious three weeks ensued before school started again. My roommates practically took it in turns to ambush and cuff me with no notice. Imagine waking up on a cold January morning, getting out of bed, stretching a bit, stepping out of your room, "hot chocolate sounds nice", BAM face-down in the carpet and cuffed behind before you're even properly awake.
I would try to fight them off, of course, but when it's 2 or 3 v. 1 and two of them are athletes it's really unfair. Not that I was complaining
That unfortunately tapered off after a while, but it was certainly fun while it lasted.
Since then I've gathered a couple more sets of cuffs mostly just to satisfy my own curiosity. As something of an Anglophile and watching a lot of British TV, I've recently got a set of Speedcuffs, for instance.
In my senior year of college, I spent about four months attending a "Citizen's Police Academy" on Wednesday nights, which is a public program that my police department offers to educate people on what they do. We had presentations on drugs, traffic (including chases), an interview with our district attorney, all kinds of interesting things. My favorite days were the firing range and, of course, the self-defense and handcuffing session.
The ride alongs were also highly enjoyable. Even if not a whole lot happens that shift, you hear a lot of interesting stories and can find out a lot about the town you live in. I'd recommend it if you can and never have (depends on the department, and I have no idea how it works outside of the U.S.)
So...that's kinda it for me, I guess. Only one other person really knows about this in detail, first time I'm putting it out there.
I hope it was enjoyable, or at least readable, and didn't take TOO long!

### Re: My Experiences So Far (A Short Collection)

Post by Steak in a Tree » Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:50 pm

Nice read, and easy to follow as well. Sounds like you guys enjoyed yourselves.
"They didn't call him 'Einstein' for nothing."
-Albert Einstein

### Re: My Experiences So Far (A Short Collection)

Post by xtc » Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:56 am

Welcome aboard. Thanks for sharing.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!
More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729