Wondering if any advice would be available?

Postby 666MIB » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:51 pm

I have been on the forum for a lil' while now. I have kept reasonably quiet lol. Nice to meet you those that i dont know ^^.
Well i am rather shy about all this. And its bloody hard for me to even tell my friends i am into it. And i am just wondering what advice you can give me to grow more confident about it all?

Re: Wondering if any advice would be available?

Postby markusthe1st » Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:15 pm

Owning who you are is the most important thing you'll ever do in life. Until you do, you'll always be a player, which means you'll just meet lots of other players, and everyone you know will lie to you.

So, be honest - you'll meet other honest people - with the same kink you have. I'm not saying don't be careful, but one thing I learned is that you are what you are. You can make changes in growth and how you see things, but overall, you have to be comfortable with yourself. Once you know who and what you are, the sky is the limit!
Walk the mile first... then have the fun!

Re: Wondering if any advice would be available?

Postby Games_Bond » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:25 am

I concur with markusthe1st on the whole.
I'd like to add is that one thing you need to be clear about in your own mind is that there is nothing strange or unnatural about liking tie-ups. On the contrary, it is a perfectly natural and safe way of getting pleasure. The extent of this and exact preferences are completely relative. I'm not suggesting you don't already know this of course, but it does help to be aware of this if someone were to "discover" your interest and take a negative view.
Because it is neither abnormal nor morally subversive, it in turn means that there must be others out there that share your view. You just need to find them. And that's not going to happen if you're too shy to ever let someone find out. If you have a girlfriend for example, try and introduce it gently with her. I find the best way to try and get a friend into/ find out if a friend is into tie-ups is to give them some subtle chance or reference. The chances are that they'll jump at the chance (after all, wouldn't you if a friend who liked tie-ups just happened to let it slip to you?).
I have a number of good friends that I hung out with for years before the subject of tying up ever came up - and when it did, and that particular avenue was explored, it turned out about half the group were into it (to varying degrees of course) and hours of fun would follow. Turned out they'd had a bit of fun with tying up innocent victims long before I came along. There are also some people that don't like it until they try it - and then they do.
I'm rambling. Basically, caution is sensible - but you can't go through your life not telling another living soul. How will you have such fun? :wink: Obviously, on here, you're among like-minded folk who will neither embarass nor chastise you just because you are who you are. But the chances are you won't be able to have any fun with us in real life. The other thing is you don't introduce it to people straight away. You get to know them and then you can judge what their reaction is likely to be. You're looking for a rating of: "Even if they're not into it, they won't mind that I am" or better. And never tell anyone that might gossip to folk you don't want to know.
I HOPE that helps - it's very hard to give sound advice to someone I don't know but I gave it my best shot :)