## Advice on Dominance

Post by gergian » Sat May 23, 2009 7:12 pm

Hey guys. I've been reading at the old site for years and I've just recently started reading again. a bit of background on the situation. I'm very submissive and Im going out with a girl who enjoys being a Mistress/Dom but prefers to be sumissive. So I figured I'd oblidge her. The roblem is, I've tied her up plenty of times but as for being a dominant "Master" Im clueless. What do I do?
Thanks for Imput
-Ben-

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by Fesselfan » Sun May 24, 2009 10:17 pm

That's a difficult question. To me, the simple answer is: it won't work out.
Either you are a dominant person (BDSM wise I mean) or you are not. And if you really are not, all you can to is to pretend. That's not good, and will most likely be noticed by her.
See, when I'm, dominant to my victims I feel a certain rush. I enjoy the feeling of might, of power. And I use it. In "ordinary" life, this would make me an egoistic, bad person...but in my private, sexual life it is the thing we both enjoy.
Cheers
FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by sarobah » Sun May 24, 2009 11:02 pm

I sort of agree with Fesselfan, although I wouldnâ€™t go so far as to say it wonâ€™t work out.
Speaking only for myself (but hoping to provide some insight), Iâ€™m submissive (when it comes to bondage) but I have tied up and â€œdominatedâ€ girls (not guys... yet) and enjoyed it. My advice would be to apply the golden rule: do unto her as you would have her do unto you. I have found that what you enjoy on the receiving end can be a turn-on when the positions are reversed. Itâ€™s also a nice way of sharing your feelings and experiences.
The other alternative is role-play... work out a scenario that you can both get into, and at some point you can switch roles.
~ Sarah
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by Automaton » Tue May 26, 2009 1:55 pm

> Fesselfan wrote:Either you are a dominant person (BDSM wise I mean) or you are not.
> FF

That's not necessarily true; I'm a Switch myself, I enjoy both roles equally well.
Considering the fact that you are both subs, I guess the only thing for you to do is simply take turns being dominated, so at least one of you gets something out of it.

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by gergian » Wed May 27, 2009 8:11 pm

Hey guys, thanks for the imput, I really appreciated it. Everyhting is working out well (thus far). I found the "do unto others" thing to be very helpfull, thanks a bunch!

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by sarobah » Wed May 27, 2009 10:26 pm

Now we expect some follow-up stories. You don't think we give out this advice for nothing, do you?
: o)
~ Sarah
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by Soul_Rebel » Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:50 am

I'd have to disagree with FF's first statement; we all maintain the capacity to be dominating and submissive. A balanced individual will have that center between the need to act or intervene in someones actions, and also the understanding that one must occasionally to submit to others.
Whips and chains may break my bones, but ropes and gags excite me!
The image in my avatar is the work of Vonnart
"Duct tape makes you smart." - Michael Weston

### Re: Advice on Dominance

Post by Automaton » Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:48 pm

"We all maintain the capacity to be dominating and submissive."
Not everyone can do both, Soul Rebel, at least, not very well. There are dominants, and there are submissives; only a few can walk the middle ground.