The fairy tales we have grown up with are sanitized Disney versions that are meant to amuse small children. Numerous details have been altered to reduce the stories to bland shadows of their former glory. Originally they were meant to entertain adults and were full of sex and violence and the occasional TUG. I have restored some of them to their former glory and would like to present a few of them to you.
Red Riding Hood (Original Title - Grandma Likes to Howl)
The big bad wolf and grandma had a good thing going until a little bitch named Red Riding Hood messed it up. The story starts a week ago…
Wolfie had just gobbled down two little pigs. They had done their best to shelter themselves from him but their best just wasn’t good enough. The straw house was a joke. The wood house was a bit more of a challenge but once again no match for his abilities. When he went to have the third little pig for dessert he was lucky to escape with his life. This porker was a lot smarter than his brothers.
Feeling embarrassed and over fed he took a nap. Two days later he awoke about mid-morning and was feeling a bit hungry. After the last fiasco with the third pig he needed an easy snack; one that wasn’t going to put up a fuss. He knew just where to go. Grandma had lived alone in an isolated cottage in the woods for years. He could have taken her at any time but he was keeping her in reserve for just such an occasion as this.
When he arrived he encountered the mailman making a delivery. Considering the amount of walking he did he was surprisingly overweight. He was also delicious. Wolfie was about to head back to his lair to sleep off his latest meal when a large raindrop hit him on the nose. The sky was dark and threatening. Not wanting to get wet he cleverly devised a plan.
Disguised in the postman’s uniform he knocked on the door of the cottage. He was going to stick grandma in the closet, take a long nap in a nice warm bed and then feast again before leaving. When the door swung open he was pleasantly startled. Grandma was not the skinny little bag of bones he had expected.
Her long silver hair was pulled back into a ponytail and a sweat band was around her forehead. She was wearing an orange sports bra and black spandex tights. Her skin glistened with sweat. A tiny droplet ran off of her chin, down her throat and disappeared into her cleavage.
‘Sorry about the way I look’ she said ‘I’ve just been working out. Can I help you?’ He hesitated for a moment, lost in thought. He was thinking that she had no need to apologize for her appearance. She looked great. He was already wondering where to start. Would he first sink his fangs into those big round breasts that were spilling over the top of her bra or would he bite into that nice round rump? Maybe he would nibble at her thighs for an appetizer or just dig into that firm flat tummy.
‘I have a special delivery for you’ he said ‘you have to sign for it. May I come in out of the rain?’ She let him in and closed the door. ‘What have you got for me?’ she asked. ‘There are a few things here’ he replied. He reached into the mail satchel and pulled out a hand full of ropes he had found in her garden shed. ‘Oh dear!’ was all she could say before he pounced.
He swiftly wrestled her to the floor and tied her hands behind her back. He stuffed the sweatband into her mouth and made a cleave gag with another rope. Ankles, knees and elbows quickly followed. He put her over his shoulder and carried her to the bedroom. He dumped her into the closet and slammed the door shut.
He had already been feeling a little sluggish after devouring the postman and now after the exertion of subduing an energetic granny he was ready for a nap. He no sooner lay down and the pounding began. Grandma was attempting to kick down the closet door. Putting a pillow over his head didn’t help. Sometimes having the acute hearing that is required of a top predator is a pain in the ass.
He got out of the bed and flung open the door ready to tear out her throat if that’s what it took to settle her down. He looked down at her. She looked up at him with big brown eyes that were pleading for mercy. She was breathing heavily from her efforts and her generous bosom was sweaty and heaving. He couldn’t help thinking that she looked pretty good for an old broad; maybe they could have a bit of fun before she became the main course.
He picked her up and put her on the bed. The more he looked the more he liked. He had never considered an inter-species relationship in anything other than a culinary way but the thought was crossing his mind now. She lay there and did not struggle at all keeping her eyes locked on his. A single quiet mmph from her gagged mouth told him she had something to say. He removed the gag.
‘If you eat me’ she said ‘I can tell you what will happen. My grand-daughter visits every week. When she finds my bones she will call her friend the huntsman. Within a week you will be a rug on his floor. If you want to walk away from this right now I promise in return I will tell no one.’
He thought it over and she was right. A few pigs now and then could be tolerated. The occasional postman could be written off as an occupational hazard. But eating a grandmother would most definitely be frowned upon. He agreed with her and reached for the rope around her ankles to begin untying her.
‘Just a moment’ she said. ‘This is going to sound strange but once I got over the horrifyingly frightful prospect of being eaten I was rather beginning to enjoy my situation. Being bound like this is rather erotic and at my age that’s a feeling I haven’t experienced in quite a while. It’s still raining out so why don’t you stay here where it’s warm and dry. I’d like to remain like this for now and then later when the rain stops you can let me go. I’ll even make you some supper before you go.’
He re-gagged her with a pair of panties and a scarf, the original sweaty gag was a little too salty tasting. She put on a nice show as she struggled with her bonds. He knew that her efforts were for her own pleasure but he enjoyed it as much as she did. It was several hours before the rain went away; he didn’t.
During supper they discussed the difficulties that she faced as a senior and the problems he faced as the most hated beast in the forest. When the conversation got too heavy he lightened the mood with a few piggy jokes. They both forgot their loneliness as they found the companionship their lives had been lacking.
After eating she took off her sweaty outfit, showered and changed into a negligee that she hadn’t worn for years. He needed no coaching. Based upon what had started their affinity for each other he knew how to continue it. While she was in the shower he found her stocking drawer and was prepared for her. He tied her up and took her to bed. This time he participated when she tossed and turned.
For several days their lives were bliss. Then there was the Hood.
Once a week her grand-daughter, Little Red Riding Hood, would visit bringing cake and wine. The cake was delicious and the wine was excellent but it made her sleepy. She would chat about this and that with her grand-daughter until she nodded off. Red would always stay until she woke again, give her a kiss and promise to return next week.
What grandma didn’t know was that Red was spiking the wine. Half of a sleeping pill was enough to put her out for an hour or so. Red was secretly banging the huntsman and because she was under age she needed a discrete location to do it. As soon as grandma passed out Red would signal him and he would emerge from his hiding place in the woods.
Grandma had forgotten that today was visiting day. When Red arrived she could hear laughter. She walked around the cottage peering in the windows until she saw what was going on. In the bedroom grandma was naked and tied spread eagle to the bed. Wolfie was tickling her feet with a feather. Being the slut that she was Red knew immediately what was going on.
She was furious. This new arrangement was going to spoil her liaisons with her beau. She went back around to the front of the cottage and signaled the huntsman. ‘There’s a wolf holding my grandmother hostage in her bedroom’ she whispered to him ‘you need to kill him and rescue her as quickly as possible.’
He quietly crept into the cottage, knife in hand and went to the bedroom. He burst in and with one mighty slash across the throat the deed was done. Wolfie’s head hit the floor before the feather.
Red came in, all full of false sentiment, telling grandma how it had been her that had come to the rescue. She planned to make the most of grandma’s gratitude and then maybe the next time a wolf came along Red would be in grandma’s will and let nature take its course. To her astonishment grandma was furious.
Grandma let her know, in no uncertain terms, that her rescue was unwelcome and maybe Red should ask questions first and kill her guests later if it was required. Before she was done scolding the girl Red stormed out in a snit and left the cottage.
The dumbfounded huntsman stood there, his illicit lover having exited and a naked granny scowling at him. Before he could figure out what to do next she made up his mind for him.
‘There’s no use crying over spilt wolf’ she said ‘don’t let all this go to waste.’ He looked her over, picked up the feather and became her new companion.