Postby dreadnaught3200 » Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:33 pm
Oh sweet! I have to jump into this one.
Now, I’ve said this a few times on this forum, but I’ll say it again. I don’t think there can be any one reason that we’re into TUGS. From what I’ve observed, it seems that TUGS is the one truly unifying thread that runs through this group. So it is only logical to assume that our reasons for having this little quirk as a varied as the group itself.
I mean, some people are interested in TUGS on a purely sexual level. Others on a purely plutonic level. Some people are fascinated by the mechanics and techniques of bondage. Others just like feeling helpless… The list goes on and on.
However, personally I’ve always found the dynamics of power exchange to be particularly interesting. Much like Sarobah. And as I’ve thought about it, it’s become clear to me that the bondage scenario is a very psychologically complex situation. There are many elements that function simultaneously, which is what I think makes the experience so electrifying. Now, if I may, I’d like to point out three of those that I find particularly interesting.
1. Instinct. This one isn’t talked about a whole lot, but I think its important. We humans have a highly developed set of survival instincts. Since they’re so deeply buried beneath the veneer of civilization we tend to forget about them, but they’re still there. Paramount among these is the avoidance of vulnerability. Most of the time we’ll do just about anything to avoid being physically (Or emotionally for that matter) vulnerable. And let’s face it, you can’t get much more vulnerable than when someone else has bound you hand and foot. Not only that, in the bondage scenario we’ve submit ourselves to this willingly. In so doing we’re violating perhaps every survival instinct we have. Which, I’m willing to bet, is why helplessness feels so damn cool!
2. Role play. Ok, this one sounds simple but it’s actually more complicated than most people give it credit for. It’s a strange quirk of the human mind that we sink into our given situational roles a little too easily. Especially when it comes to things like power exchange. I talked about this a bit in the story cycle that I posted a while back. But I’ll run it down again. At Stanford university in 1971, a guy named Philip Zimbardo carried out a rather notorious experiment which has come to be known as the “Stanford Prison Experimentâ€. A bunch of students built a prison in the basement of the psychology building and were randomly assigned to be guards and prisoners. The students sunk into their roles of prisoners or guards almost immediately. The guards became aggressive, domineering and in some cases abusive. The prisoners became withdrawn, depressed and docile. Even Zimbardo himself, in his role as prison superintendent got sucked in. The experiment got so out of control it had to be stopped a week early. Now, this experiment is usually cited in regards to prisons. But I think its completely relevant to the captor/captive relationship that we’re so fond of. All the guys at Stanford knew what they were doing was role play. But once they’d committed to their roles, it consumed them. In our case, if the captor and captive both commit to the roles they are playing, it can feel very real indeed. The same goes for master and slave. When someone is bound, or enslaved they are released from all personal responsibility. When you sink into that role, it can really feel like you don’t have any responsibilities anymore. Power exchange is no trifling thing.
3. Topping from the bottom. (Sorry Sarobah, I couldn’t figure out what else to call this) Now this one IS as obvious as it sounds. I’m going to assume that some people here used to watch CSI back when it was… you know… good. Well, one of the most fascinating characters on that show was the vaunted Lady Heather, a highly intelligent dominatrix. While explaining her profession to the team she said something that caught my interest. “The submissive is truly in control of the situationâ€, or something to that effect. The more I think about it, the more I think she’s right. When you’re tied up, you are completely helpless and completely dependent. Assuming that the bondage situation is consensual (which it always should be) the top must take complete responsibility for the bottom’s well being. This means that for however long you posses them, your entire life will have to revolve around them, taking care of whatever needs they may have. However, more importantly, knowing that someone is willingly taking on that responsibility must mean that they really love/want you. We all want to be loved. Knowing that someone cares enough about you to take all your responsibilities onto them self must mean that they do indeed want you. And to put it frankly, we all want to be wanted.
Wow, I didn’t mean to go on for that long. Oh well.
There's a permanent tension in music isn't there? On one hand you have three chords, you know, four four and three chords. Then there's the people like me, who say "Well, why don't we add a fourth chord and put it in five four?" - Bill Bruford