I have been a visitor of this website for a long time, but I never contributed. Now I will.
Have some patience with my English as it isn’t my mother tongue.
Introduction
I didn't exactly know what I was doing on her doorsteps. I didn't really know her very well. But at a certain moment in my life she unexpectedly turned up at several places I used to frequent. We had a few chats and we knew we had some interests in common, but I wasn't really hitting for her. Oh yes, A. was attractive, but then again I am one of these guys who can find something attractive in almost every woman: a particular smile of movement, bare shoulders, delightful legs, a gorgeous face, the size of firm breasts, a way of talking or even just blinking the eyes, … In A.’s case, she could meet the stereotype of an attractive girl next door. She is rather tall, long blond hair, but despite the stereotype not dumb at all, with a nice glistering in her blue eyes. And she seemed to have an interest in me, something I found hard to belief. I was in between relationships at that time and actually not yet ready to engage in another commitment.
But here I was, standing in the rain, waiting for her to answer the bell of the door. I was in the neighbourhood, my old college town where she was still studying. The streets were deserted. Most students were already heading home again with a long weekend coming. She knew I was coming, she was even hardly surprised when I called her. We would have the house for ourselves, she announced, as her fellow students would also be home. So opened with a smile and surprised me with a kiss on my cheek. I had the feeling I couldn't 'read' this woman. She could act very open and yet at the same time close herself behind what I felt as mindless chatter. She would tell intimate details about other people’s lives but obscure her own feelings. But hey, I suppose I acted in similar ways except that I would hardly speak at all. I was known as a 'good listener’; maybe this also was just a strategy to hide some vulnerability. Any way, I felt confused in her presence. Not the confusion of falling in love, but the confusion of the desire of falling in love but doubting about it at the same time. Just to say I was in a particular state of mind.
A birthday present
As expected, during dinner, she started talking and talking and talking. I grunted from time to time. I even tried to ask some considerate questions, but really I was just struggling with my confusion. Her birthday passed some weeks ago. I even remember because our birthdays were quite close to each other. She rattled about some presents and attentions she received when at a certain moment she finally got my full attention. We were both members of the same national youth movement, although of course in different local groups. She was, herself beginning of her twenties, a mentor of a group of girls aged between 16 and 18. Now it turned out these girls had a special celebration of the birthday in mind. Once A. entered the play ground, she was attacked by a bunch of girls, easily overpowering her. Now to get this picture a little bit sharper it is interesting to know that most groups of this youth movement required their members to wear a uniform. For the girls this uniform consisted (at that moment) in a blue gown that year after year after its initial purchase grew shorter and shorter. As a matter of decency, most girls therefore were wearing a short above their panties, still showing some very nice legs. A. wasn't really surprised by the attack. It turned out that among the group there was an ongoing game that basically consisted in a tie up game, although they called it something else. Within minutes A. was very securely tied up, or I said say, wrapped up in a bundle of rope all around her body. She was laid in a wheelbarrow and driven to what turned out to be the local railway station. She couldn't see as the girls had her blindfolded. Above the blindfold they installed some earphones so she completely lost track of her whereabouts. At a certain moment she was taken out of the vehicle and she felt she was lifted on some kind of platform. Until that moment there was a continuously poking and touching, but suddenly she felt left alone. Hearing the story I felt quite aroused. I never told A. about my inclination to tie up games, but now my fantasy was going nuts. I could easily imagine her, in this uniform showing her long legs, sitting against the wall with a black blindfold around her long blond hair. The platform and the wall belonged to a train. On her chest the girls had a ticket attached for a trip to the next station. Luckily they had the conductor alerted who liberated A. Although he behaved discontented about the action of the girls I guess he found himself a lucky guy to witness A.'s struggles. The story concluded with a befriended group of girls waiting for her in the next station with cake and presents...
Bewilderment
The story left me bewildered. I had now idea why she was telling it. It was just part of a continuous stream of anecdotes. Yet, she addressed, without her noticing (or so I thought), a secret spot in me. At that time moment in my life I was still very confused about my attraction to tie up games. (Oh boy, writing this story, it seems I was confused about almost every thing). Starting with the development of my own sexuality I realized I could get, euh, aroused by my fantasies about tied and gagged females (I remember as a 10-12 year old boy all kind of fantasies about kidnapped girls that I would rescue, although at the same time the excitement was not so much about playing a here but was rather in imagining this tied up girl. Another favourite fantasy would be that we were abducted together and bound to each other, preferably in our bathing suits). Growing up as a teenager at the same time I developed all kinds of idealized images about being in love and in a relationship, caring for each other and as it comes to sexuality I could only think about very tender moments. I couldn’t bring these two images together: my desire for bondage seemed the very opposite of my desire for love and understanding. Tying up a girl felt like an immediate attack to her integrity. When I felt in love I even felt very guilty about my fantasies about tie up games with her. So I never dared to express my inclination for bondage to the girls I loved (during my teenage years I had a few experiences though, but never in a love relationship). It was only much later that I learned that friendship, love and bondage can go together perfectly well: tie up games actually require a lot of trust and mutual understanding, but hey I don’t have to defend the lifestyle on this forum I guess. Any way, here I was, sitting at a table with an attractive girl telling me openly about a tie up game as if it was the most normal thing in the world that could happen. I still don’t know whether or not she brought up the topic deliberately as the following events seem to indicate that for her to, it wasn’t really a ‘normal thing’.