Telling my friend

Postby desroda » Sat Apr 07, 2012 4:24 pm

Hi All,

I visited a good of mine a few years ago, and while I was visiting, I discovered he loved TUGs when I found his ball gag under his bed. Now, 4 years later, he's coming to visit , so I've finally worked up the courage to tell him. I've drafted an email explaining my love of TUGs and how I want to try things out with him when he visits.

My question is: Is email the right way to go? I know in person is always better, but we don't get to talk as much anymore because we're both usually busy. I don't want to put him on the spot, and this way he has time to digest what I just told him, hopefully in time for his visit in June.

Am I wrong to go the email route? Is there a better way? How about some words of encouragement?

Thanks!

Re: Telling my friend

Postby Misquamicut » Sat Apr 07, 2012 6:59 pm

Did he maybe plant the gag for you to find? Did you show any interest at the time? Does he have a bondage friend? I guess its ultimately a personal response.
He could be elated or he could be completely turned off. I know I would be excited to get such an email! Since he told you back then of his love of bondage I suspect after reading your email he will be more anxious to see you.

Re: Telling my friend

Postby Jason Toddman » Sun Apr 08, 2012 1:36 pm

Was this actually discussed with your friend when you visited your friend before, so that there is no chance of you having misunderstood something? For instance, does your friend have a roommate who may be the actual owner of the ball gag and your friend knows nothing about it (not very likely but not 100% impossible, is it)? If there was no frank discussion of this before, there IS a chance that things might not go the way you hoped. If details were clearly discussed though, that's a different mater, but your initial post doesn't make this clear (at least, not to me) and implies your friend doesn't know what you know (or think you know). In which case, I think you may want to go slow with a series of emails rather than one big one to test the waters and make sure there are no tragic misunderstandings that could ruin your friendship (I've had lots of misunderstandings in my own life in various maters so I'm sensitive to that particular issue).
Assuming you already had a heart to heart with him previously, the only other objection I can think of is, are you sure your friend is the only one who has access to his email account? If he lives with others (roommates for example), it's possible your message won't be quite as private as you think and may be an embarrassment to you AND your friend.
In any case, I wish you the best of luck with all this.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Telling my friend

Postby Hogtiedguy » Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:01 pm

Hi All,
I am the friend that desroda speaks off. I was both surprise and shock by his email. I had open it a work and almost fell off the chair when I read it. Luckily I have my own office so it was not that big of a deal. I had no idea that he was into TUG like me. As for the ball gag he found, I had used it the night before and left under the bed. The next day I had to leave for an unexpected work trip and forgot about it. Now I am glad that he found it and cant wait for June to meet up with him. I am glad that he said something.

Re: Telling my friend

Postby Hogtiedguy » Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:12 pm

Hi All,
I am the friend that desroda talks about. I have to say that I was both shock and surprise by his email. I almost fell out of the chair at work when I read it. I am very glad that he said something to me. We have been close friends since high school and this is just going to bring our friendship closer. I cant wait for June when we meet up. By the way I did not leave the ball gag out for him to find I just got lazy and did not put it in its normal hiding place. :big: