cellofello wrote:Sacrificiallove wrote:This are things I will not answer or do. My email has my last name in it, so I don't give it out on the internet.
You could always create a separate email account specifically for the purpose of chatting with people about these topics without the limitations of this board's private message system such limits on the total size of all messages. Just go to mail.google.com and see if you can get the email address sacrificiallove on gmail. It gives away no more than your ID on this board does.
So I don't care if you're a guy or a girl, I'd warn all of you to be careful telling people on a site who you don't even know where you live and being willing to meet them in real life.
Really, one shouldn't jump too fast into one-on-one bondage games with a new real-life acquaintance either. Just because two people first meet in real life doesn't mean that one of them is any less capable of being the next Ted Bundy than someone first met online. There are techniques that can be used to increase safety when meeting someone, such as "safe calls". This involves telling a trusted friend where you're going, and arranging to call at a certain time to check in - if the call is not made, the friend is supposed to call in the cavalry.
But I believe it's possible to build confidence in someone through online means, particularly if the person has a public persona. By this I mean things they wrote that are available to a wide audience, not just one person. If someone is just writing to you and nobody else, they can try to lie and smooth-talk you. But when they make public posts on this board, you can look for clues like: are they only talking to people in situations where they have something to gain, or are they offering helpful suggestions to people who can't help them fulfill their fantasies (e.g., a heterosexual man offering friendly advice to another man)? Do they ever behave inappropriately to anyone, or do they show basic courtesy to all? In other words, some of the same techniques we use to evaluate the character of someone we meet in real life. It might take six months or even more, but I think you can eventually get a reasonable sense of whether
some people online can be trusted with a couple of breadcrumbs to your real life.
In all honesty, I strongly disagree.
Meeting someone in real-life, even after just one time, is still better than over the net. You can pick up on things you can't pick up on over the net, like their tone of voice, their facial expressions, and the distance they put between their body and yours. You also have one of the most important factors: their physical appearance. I'm not saying that that should really mean anything in a relationship, but if you all of a sudden meet some six and a half foot tall person with huge biceps and an intimidating exterior who tries to hit on you, I'd be running away.
Also, people lie on the net, not just in private messages. Some people are completely different from who they pretend to be.
Having someone call you at a certain time will not save that person from getting raped, beaten, or murdered. If you are going to meet someone you met online, the first few meetings should be in public. The next few should be with a group of friends, both yours and theirs. After a while, if you gain trust, maybe, just maybe it's okay after that. I'd still be leery.
So I agree with Kyle, you can never be too paranoid on the net.
That being said, I think I'm paranoid of just about anyone, even those that I know. Some guy just told me that he had a dream where I intiated sex with him. I think I'm going to keep him at a safe distance from now on.