Very useful pointers here. A big thanks to tapeandrope666, drawscore, TGT88 and Lake Lover for the prompt responses.
drawscore wrote:After some thought, isn't this something you might want to discuss with your TUG buddy? Find out what he wants or likes, then act accordingly. And what are your thoughts? Are you going to be tied, also?
There are all sorts of ways to be tied. Some prefer a simple wrists and ankles tie. Others like the same thing, but with duct tape wrapped over the rope. And you go on from there
The important thing, is to remember that it IS a game, and games are supposed to be fun for all involved. When the captive is no longer having fun, it ceases to be a game, and becomes abuse.
Drawscore
Sigh...Drawscore, I appreciate your comment and know that you mean well. I really do.
I've been here for quite a few years as well. This is about THE most lighthearted place for bondage/TUGs/BDSM talk on the internet.
This is also a very SMALL community, and as much as many on here would not want to admit, there is no way to remove BDSM from TUGs.
Both are deeply intertwined.
Most guys on here who are active on this site AND elsewhere will concur with what I'm about to say.
As much as bondage and domination is and should ALWAYS be about
trust and
communication, you'd be surprised at the amount of men and women out there who DO NOT want to have ANY say or retain an ounce of control when engaging in domination + tug sessions.
The fact that MANY on here DO NOT understand that, doesn't make it ANY less legitimate.
And I'm not saying that all such relationships or games are healthy. Some of them aren't, but that doesn't mean such games/relationships are all "toxic" and unhealthy. That being said, I understand that educating young minds is important and that the internet is often a poor teacher for these kinds of things. That's why I'm not trying to debate or negate what you wrote. Much of your words ring true.
Everyone on here who I've had dealings with know that I'm a very down-to-earth guy.
However, I only play with THE most submissive guys, so no, I won't ask my bondage "buddy" what he wants and what he prefers.
Our likes and dislikes are very similar and that's good enough for both of us. Everything else is up to me, which is EXACTLY (and I really do mean
EXACTLY) the way he wants it.
As much as I enjoy the lighthearted/down-to-earth atmosphere on this tie up games board, there seems to be a lack of respect/acknowledgement for the MANY activists who actually get off/achieve a state of bliss when under complete and total control.
I'm not saying this is for everyone, because it definitely isn't! But turning a blind eye to this aspect of TUGs and BDSM makes no sense whatsoever...even on a forum as lighthearted as this one.
People who know each other and
trust each other (notice the red) and who get off on COMPLETE control + dominance or COMPLETE submissiveness, should NOT be treated with less legitimacy than those who engage in light-hearted tugs.
And this isn't a debate. I have great respect for everyone's views, as long as they are morally sane and do not involve the use of violence or serious abuse.
There is definitely a moral line that should not be crossed, but this is not where the line is at.
Debates and arguments here are often caused by ill-spoken lines or simple sentences with lack of relevant explanations.
I've gone out of my way here to word this out as effectively as I can, so as to avoid another flame war (which IMO has become all too common on this board in the past few years).
Still, I expect this will raise some eyebrows and elicit a certain response from members who feel that there is no room for more "intense" experiences on Stories of Tie Up Games. I don't believe I've said anything outrageous or particularly shocking, but in any case, I'm ready to face the music.