Boy captured by girls

Postby ducttapeboy001 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 5:51 am

STORY HAS BEEN EDITED

It was the exam. I was writing the answers. And then a silent conversation behind me got my attention. It was the 3 girls - Julie, Anna and Amie. they were copying. The teacher in charge was sleeping. I suddenly shouted "SIR - these girls are copying". the teacher woke up, came to the girls and took their papers away. The 3 girls stared at me mad. I was kinda freaked coz I was the only boy in the class, all the others left. The girls looked at me for a minute and they went out of the classroom. I finished my paper and left. I saw the 3 girls standing there. They were like they were gonna beat me up. I said sorry, looked into all of their eyes and said sorry again. I said I did not mean it.

They looked at me and grinned, they said we accept your apology. And Julie asked me " Why dont you come over to my house ?". Julie's mother was a friend of my mother so I had to say YES. then me and the 3 girls walked to Julie's house. Julie switched on the TV and Julie and her friends said they'll change their uniform and be back. I was hungry and ate the snacks on the table.The girls returned they wore shiny pink tops and a leathery black jeans. After 15 mins of TV. I said I am going home. Anna said no and told me to stay for just a hour. Amie said lets play a game. Julie said lets play hide n' seek.

I counted till 100 waiting for the 3 girls to hide. After I finished counting hundred, I went searching for them all over. I went upstairs and entered Julies room. As soon as I entered. some one jumped on me from behind, I couldnt see who was it. I was on the ground, I turned my head and saw Julie, anna and Amie. They forced me to a armchair. And duct taped my hands to the armrest and my ankles to the legs of the chair, Then they rolled duct tape around my chest and lap to the chair. And they said that they are gonna leave me like this for the night as a revenge. Amie took a pink bandana and rolled it into a ball. I shut my mouth tightly. Julie came and pinched my nose. I held my breath for 20 seconds and I gave up and opened my mouth. The bandana went right in my mouth and duct tape went over my mouth securing the bandana inside.

I tried to scream, all I let out was a mmmmph The three girls turned off the light, locked the room and went. I was totally immobilized. After 10 mins of trying to escape. I gave up. after 1 hour. I got sleepy and slept...



A voice woke me up. I looked up and saw the 3 girls. All 3 smirked at me. I was still tied to the chair but the duct tape on my mouth wasnt there. Then Anna slowly slid a mirror in front of me. I gazed onto it and was horrified, THEY HAD DONE A MAKEOVER TO ME. there was pink lipstick on my lips. pink eye shadows my hair was dyed pink and it was long, it was a wig so I wasnt worried about my hair, then there was nail polish over my nails, AND I was dressed in a girls dress pink tops and jet black skirt. My whole face was filled with make up and I looked like a girl. Julie quickly brought a camera and captured a photo of me.

After 30 mins asking them to release me, they released me, and said "If you don't listen to us, this photo is going to your school and FB". I ran to the bathroom washed my makeup. And went back and told the girls not to put the photos in FB or pass it around my school. I asked my dress back and Julie threw my school uniform at me. I changed and went over to Julie I said that I will obey them forever if they wont put the photos up.

Now Im bound to the girls and do whatever they say all because of me complaining about them copying.


STORY HAS BEEN EDITED

this is my first story, hope its good. If you want you can modify it.
Last edited by ducttapeboy001 on Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
it makes me GLaD, Im not you
And believe me Im still alive
Im doing TUGs and Im still alive.
I feel fantastic and Im stilll alive

You'd be EVIL if you're GLaD

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby ducttapeboy001 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 5:57 am

Can please someone make it better, add more on how the boy felt helpless and how he was tortured in a comfortable way. I couldnt think of much things. also modify it about the girls doing more things to make him look more girly.










Is my story good or does it suck
it makes me GLaD, Im not you
And believe me Im still alive
Im doing TUGs and Im still alive.
I feel fantastic and Im stilll alive

You'd be EVIL if you're GLaD

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby chloroformmeplease » Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:44 am

To be honest it lacks details and details are what make or break a story. It also lacks feeling. You said you struggled but did not specify if you liked it or if you really wanted to get away.
The story has potential but it needs meat to it sort of speak. I mean the plot is a good one and a good place to start but it is lacking.
You could have described the girls,what they look like,how tall they are,how old you all are.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby Boundgal08 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:46 am

I agree with chloroform! You need to add more detail and more feeling to it... it just hasn't got the story factor! :) But if people wish to add to it then, that is fine! :)

But I think it needs more work on it, by yourself to make it a better story opening!

Cheers,
BG
BOUNDGIRL!
Probably the kinkiest woman you will ever meet!
I am a switch, I like to put a man in ropes and also have a man put me in ropes!
I am the 'Queen of bondage'

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby chloroformmeplease » Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:51 am

Tell me how old you want them to be in the story and I will work on it for you. I already have ideas of how I will describe them and their personalities.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:40 am

The story harnesses a lot of potential, yet the lack of detail as chloroform said hurts it. No worries though you can only get better!

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby Nuclearo » Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:10 pm

The story is good and has lots of potential. In my mind I can already see plenty of possibilities for how it could go on ^^

Like has been said, just add some details. What does the protagonist look like? The girls? Does the school have a uniform? If not, what were they wearing then? The details that already are there, like the whole girl class and the mothers being friends, show that you did put thought into the story. I can't wait to see what else they'd do to him :D

I want to ask: what did you mean by us modifying it?
Join our irc channel!! http://chat.mibbit.com/#tugsnet It's fun!!

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby chloroformmeplease » Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:00 pm

want to ask: what did you mean by us modifying it? A very vaild question. It looks as though we all agree it has potential but simply lacks proper details in the making of a good story. Whatever you do don't give up on writing just pay attnetion to details.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby ducttapeboy001 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 8:27 pm

Ok, I want the girls to be good looking and all of them should wear an attractive pink shiny dress. They are 14, one year older than me.
I dont know how to make me more helpless and I want anyone who reads this to feel the bondage.

I am not good when it comes to stories.
it makes me GLaD, Im not you
And believe me Im still alive
Im doing TUGs and Im still alive.
I feel fantastic and Im stilll alive

You'd be EVIL if you're GLaD

Re: Boy captured by girls

Postby Nuclearo » Thu Feb 25, 2010 8:43 pm

Like I said, the story is good. Give yourself some credit! It's just your writing that needs some practice, and it isn't that bad either. Just keep on writing, listen to advice, and soon enough the only complaints you'll receive is "Don't leave us hanging" and "Awww I wanted them to *some random thing you didn't write*!" ;)
Join our irc channel!! http://chat.mibbit.com/#tugsnet It's fun!!