Some advice if possible

Postby htied » Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:12 am

Greetings all!

I've been bouncing around this site for a while now, it's nice to find a like minded community :big: I'd really like to find someone who would play some tie up games with me, but I'm just that extra bit cautious about meeting up with people over the Internet, especially when it involves TUGs. Can anyone pass on some advice for finding legit people etc?

Thanks for creating this community! :mrgreen:

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby Chris12 » Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:39 am

My advice is not to do it :big: Seriously, to much can go wrong and if you're already cautious then that's for the best right?

This is just my own opinion though.

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby rugas » Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:22 am

it depends how old are you... I think....
if you're under age... don't move!!! Chris said very well!!

if you're older.... well idk.... someone I met on line told me that he found to do something interesting... meeting real people
and me too I'd like to try something, but actually I'm not so brave and I'm scared to death if I think at something that is just a bit more than an idea

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby drawscore » Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:45 pm

You have to know with whom you are dealing. The internet can be fun and exciting, and can bring like-minded people together, but it can also be dangerous. That person who says she's 16, and "looking for a good time," could, in reality, be fat, bald, and fifty-ish, and a male, to boot. In short, you don't know who or what is hiding behind that computer screen, or what their intentions might be. Better to stick to talk and occasional pictures, rather than personal contact. This is especially true for those under 18.

Drawscore

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby trammel » Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:15 am

The first reply is the right one. Think about it. I'm going to go one the internet where predators troll and ask to be tied up and made vulnerable and helpless. Really? I don't care how old you are, that's not smart. On the other hand, I suspect if you met someone and spent time getting to know them it could work...eventually.

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby Sclark » Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:14 pm

Well since cant meet. Im f 22 blonde 5'6" and skinny. I am wearing my favorite baggy clothes (2 x short sleeve shirt and pajama bottoms) i like this outfit cause its comfy ;) im tied up any way you want me anywhere you want me. So lets begin.....

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby Jason Toddman » Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:22 pm

drawscore wrote:You have to know with whom you are dealing. The internet can be fun and exciting, and can bring like-minded people together, but it can also be dangerous. That person who says she's 16, and "looking for a good time," could, in reality, be fat, bald, and fifty-ish, and a male, to boot. In short, you don't know who or what is hiding behind that computer screen, or what their intentions might be. Better to stick to talk and occasional pictures, rather than personal contact. This is especially true for those under 18. Drawscore

I AM fat, balding, fiftyish, male, and wear glasses too. But at least I freely admit it! :big:
But the rest of what you say is true too; attempting to meet someone thru the Internet is only for the truly desperate AND totally hopeless - of which I am only the second of these two traits.
Htied, if you're actually 18 then you probably don't need to go the Internet route; IMO at your age you're better off simply looking at the people around you, where you can see what you'd be getting into before making any commitments. Chris12 and the others are right; unless you know exactly what you're doing, then the Internet (even this site) is definitely looking for TUGs in all the wrong places!!! I can't tell you wjherethe *right* places are, but none of them are HERE.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby cellofello » Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:56 am

Jason Toddman wrote:
drawscore wrote:[A]ttempting to meet someone thru the Internet is only for the truly desperate AND totally hopeless[.]


I do agree there's not a large chance of success for a heterosexual man in posting a bondage-related personals ad for a woman, or responding to one by a woman. There is a lot of competition, and you have to have something that really makes you stand out over the other guys.

However, general dating sites like OK Cupid are another thing. There are quality people on those sites, not just the desperate and hopeless. My advice has always been to find a person you would like to have a relationship with first, and then see if TUGs can be a part of that. It's worked quite well for me.

I have been with a woman for 13 years now who first saw me in a completely vanilla setting. She was attracted to me, but didn't do anything at the time. A few years later she saw a post I made on a BDSM-related mailing list that made her realize that I was the same person she had seen and liked before. She sent me a note asking if I'd like to meet. While the Internet was how we first arranged a meeting, it was not how we first met. Her email wouldn't have happened if she had not first met me in a conventional social setting and been attracted.

If you are in a reasonably large metropolitan area, you can probably find "munches" - gatherings in a restaurant to meet with like-minded people. http://www.fetlife.com has groups all over the country where people arrange such meetings. There's no guarantee that you'll meet the TUG partner of your dreams there, but it does give you a chance to meet potential partners in a safe public setting where you can get to know each other as people first. When the mutual attraction and interest is established, then you can start talking about who is going to tie whom.

Many large cities have social and educational clubs - Eulenspiegel in New York, The Black Rose in DC, Threshold in LA, Society of Janus in SF, BESS in Baltimore, just to name a few. (A very large resource list can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/ms2/BDSMINFOPAGES/Chapter10.html.) If you live in such a city, going to meetings is a great way to meet and get to know like-minded people in a safe setting.

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby Jason Toddman » Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:22 am

cellofello wrote: However, general dating sites like OK Cupid are another thing. There are quality people on those sites, not just the desperate and hopeless.

I wasn't thinking of sites like that when I made my post, nor do I have any experience with them (because I AM hopeless :( ). Sites like OK Cupid may be worth a try as long as reeasonable safety steps are taken. My point simply was that trying to meet people HERE for face-to-face TUGs wasn't a good idea; and doubly so for those who are still under 18 or so.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby htied » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:11 am

Not been around much since posting this. Sorry! lol I'm almost 19, so I know all about the dangers of the net etc. It helps when you're taking a Web degree at University ;) I'm all up for meeting new people, I've made quite a few friends in the online gaming world. All of which I know in person and have became very good friends with. I respect the fact this is about TUGs and may more things can go wrong, which is why you need to get to know the person pretty well before anything happens as such.

Thanks to all for the replies though! :D

Re: Some advice if possible

Postby italianarg » Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:18 am

Trust is the key really, I always recommend speaking online for a period of time before agreeing to meet up. Also, i recommend meeting in a sort public place if you are going to do it.