My last story, "The Birth of a Whovian" can be found here
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The Devil Went Down to TUGs Land
The devil went down to TUGs land, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind and he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this young man sawin' on his ropes and lookin hot.
And the devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm into some bondage too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
Now you escape pretty well, boy, but give the devil his due:
I bet handcuffs of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The boy said: "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."
Johnny you slacken up your rope and escape your bars
'Cos hells broke loose in TUGs land and the devil is your guard.
And if you win you get those shiny handcuffs made of gold.
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.
The devil opened up his bag and he said: "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he tied knots in his rope.
And he pulled the rope across Johnny's chest and then he couldn't resist:
Then a band of demons tickled him and it sounded something like this.
[A fiddle and Johnny's laughter can be heard as the devil continues to restrain Johnny. He handcuffs his left wrist to his right ankle and right wrist to his left ankle. The devil then duct tapes Johnny's fingers together. Then Johnny is gagged with an inflatable gag pumped to the max and the devil mummifies his face with more duct tape]
When the devil finished, Johnny said: "mph nr pffrddy grd rrrd srr."
But Johnny started his escape to show him how it's done.
The duct tape slid right off his skin
The handcuffs were easy for Johnny to pick
The duct tape gag unwound from chin to nose
"Devil, now it's your turn, come on let's go."
[This time Johnny ties up the Devil. He begins by handcuffing his arms around a tree with leg cuffs. The circumference of the tree made it impossible for the devil the bring his arms together. Johnny plastered the Devil to the tree with three layers of duct tape. Then Johnny grabbed one of the small demons who had tickled him before and shoved him in the Devil's mouth, sealed in with duct tape around the Devil's face from neck to horns. The last step, Johnny used chains to attach the Devil's horns to a branch high up in the tree, making the lock out of the Devil's reach]
The devil tried to bowed his head 'cos he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid those golden handcuffs on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said: "Devil just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"cause I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best there's ever been."
The Devil struggled for days and days
All of the demons were amazed
"Johnny come back, let me out!"
But Johnny was gone and couldn't hear the shout.