Open bondage relationships?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Sat Oct 08, 2016 8:17 pm

This topic's been on my mind for the past few days. If you were in a relationship (hypothetically or otherwise) where bondage played a major role, would you be alright with your spouse/SO practicing bondage on or with other people outside said relationship?

I'm not talking about what are referred to as "open relationships"; that is where each partner is free to have sex with other people. That's a topic for another time. I am strictly referring to the action of bondage with others.

My first thought was "There's no harm in it. It's just bondage, so why not? After all, people hold bondage workshops all the time." But then I started to consider the implications. For many people, bondage is an extension of their sex life. A fetish, simply put. As such there is sexual gratification connected with it. So, is this something that's typical for couples? I would imagine that couples do not let their partner kiss, grope, and lick the feet of another person. So couldn't this be considered the same thing?

I know that for some of you bondage is not strictly a fetish, but rather an activity. A game of sorts that elicits much enjoyment from those involved. But I honestly can't separate the two. If I'm tying someone up or being tied up, I'm going to be turned on. It's as simple as that. So, now I'm honestly not sure what's considered acceptable. Is it different for each couple or is there some obvious answer that I'm missing here?
Last edited by SolidSnickerdoodle on Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Open bondage relationships?

Postby Driverman » Sat Oct 08, 2016 8:44 pm

I am in the same camp as you, it's near impossible for me to experience a woman tied up and not be turned on. It's not something I have an on/off switch for. Having said that, I am sure there are people that can experience it without being sexually stimulated.

Now to answer your question, I would say it's a case by case basis. It would probably work fine for some people, others, people such as you and I, would probably have a problem with it.

Re: Open bondage relationships?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:07 pm

Driverman wrote:I am in the same camp as you, it's near impossible for me to experience a woman tied up and not be turned on. It's not something I have an on/off switch for. Having said that, I am sure there are people that can experience it without being sexually stimulated.

Now to answer your question, I would say it's a case by case basis. It would probably work fine for some people, others, people such as you and I, would probably have a problem with it.

yeah. Don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to tie up multiple people. I'm just afraid that it would lead to other actions and desires. As you said, it's not something I have an on/off switch for.

Having set that precedent, would I be okay with my partner doing it? I don't know. I don't have enough experience with that. If there's truly no separating bondage and lust then I don't think I'd be comfortable with providing that chance. Intimacy is a BIG part of a relationship and I'd be too afraid that one thing would lead to another.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Open bondage relationships?

Postby fratboydanny » Sun Oct 09, 2016 1:48 pm

My bf and I have been together for 11 years now. We have been tied by others but we always talk about it before hand. We both like to be the one tied so, when an opportunity presents itself we try to take advantage. It works for us but I would think it would have to be, as driver an wrote, a case by case basis.

Re: Open bondage relationships?

Postby Nexus » Sun Oct 09, 2016 4:48 pm

As has been stated, it's definitely a case by case situation. What certain people/couples are comfortable with, others may not be.

I am like you guys, the thought of women in bondage illicits sexual reactions, even if there will be no sexual activity. With my wife entertaining my bondage tendencies less and less over the years, I have strongly considered finding a play mate, so far as setting up on fetlife and messaging some people. I tell myself that because there will be no intimacy, that I plan to keep my tongue in my mouth and my dick in my pants, that it's not cheating on the wife.

But, unfortunately, I once heard a definition of cheating that I have to agree with: "if you are doing things with another person and you don't want your significant other to find out about it for fear of hurting them, it's cheating."

So anyone in a relationship dealing with these thoughts has three options the way I see it:
1) Talk it over with your significant other, make sure they are ok with it.
2) Go behind their back and do it anyway, try and digest the guilt.
3) Don't do it.

I'm still struggling between 2 and 3. Hoping to increase the frequency of TUGS with the wife to solve the problem.

Re: Open bondage relationships?

Postby MisterTheEdge » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:33 am

I can play with friends or anyone that my designated domme (a friend of mine and my wife's) approves of.
Mister The Edge

Give me a hell yes!
http://www.11thprincipleconsent.org