A new identity

Postby Guilty Pleasure » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:10 pm

Lucy laid on here bed, tired after a long day at school but looking forward to her weekend of rest bite. She had thrown her uniform all in a big pile on the floor as she came in from school and had change into a casual pair of jeans and a red t-shirt. She thinking about all the way she could spend the weekend while her parents where away for the weekend after leaving that morning to go on week long business trip. She was stuck between seeing if her boyfriend Ryan wanted to come round or going to see a movie with her friends.
She was listening to her music on her laptop, the volume bar raised all the way to the top , while she checked to see what films where showing at the local cinema. She sighed as she read through the depressing boring list of films showing. "Maybe I should give Ryan a call and see if he able to come round tomorrow" she mused.
She jumped of the bed to grab her phone out of her blazer (the only thing she bothered to hang up) out of the large walk in closet. As she open the closet door she gasped as she felt someone push her into it, grabbing her round the mouth. "Mmmmmmmmm" her scream was muffed under the hand the held on tight.
"Shhh sweetheart I don't want to have to hurt you now" whispered a voice into her ear.
Lucy was dragged by the hand into the back of the closet. She struggled to see her captor face but it was too dark as the closet door swug shut cutting of the sun light.
"Mhhhhhh" Lucy screamed again.
"Fine, guess we have to do this the hard way then" growled the voice sounding slightly angry.
Lucy felt something being pushed against her lips. It was soft like a piece of cloth but the lack of light made it impossible to see.
"Open up" command the voice.
"Mhhhhh!" Lucy replied.
"I take that as a no" the voice said dryly.
Lucy felt her nose being squeezed, cutting her of from oxygen. She struggled for a minute but felt her chest emptying of oxygen and her head starting to spin and ache. Her mouth final open and she drew a quick breath but was to slow as the cloth was forced deep into her mouth.
"Mhhh" Lucy voice was now barely above a whipser.
"Awww that much better" said the captor removing their hand from Lucy mouth. "Just needs one final addition I think."
Lucy felt something stick being pushed her lips repeatedly. "The tap from her roll of duck tape she kept for wrapping presents!" she thought in horror. Who was this person and what did they want from her?!
Then the captor switch on the closet small light and Lucy almost died of shock as she saw their face.

Hi I'm never wrote anything like this before so I don't have the faintest clue if this is any good to be honest. But I been reading the stories on here for a while and I thought I try my hand at them. So any feedback would be much appreciated :)

Re: A new identity

Postby Rob66 » Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:49 am

It's a very good start for a first effort so please continue! Thanks for posting it here!

Re: A new identity

Postby Guilty Pleasure » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:27 am

Thanks for the feedback. Nice to know that people are enjoying it :)

Re: A new identity

Postby Guilty Pleasure » Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:36 pm

The captor was a girl, tall with soft brown hair that flowed down and eyes that where soft and brown like dark chocolate. She wore a pair of dark leggings and a black hoodie with a pair of bright blue converses.
Lucy was shocked by the girls appearance for a few reasons. Firstly the girl was wearing so of here running clothes that she thought she lost last week and secondly but more importantly the girl looked just like her. It was creep, she had the exactly same face and body as Lucy did.
"Hahah bit of a shock for you?" The girl smiled and it similarity to Lucy's sent shivers down Lucy's spine.
"Mhhhh"
"Shhh now, I explain everything once you are nice and secure" She grabbed Lucy roughly by the throat and pinned her against the wall one handed. "She so strong "Lucy thought "I never going to get loose."
"Don't struggle my dear, it only make this worse for you" the girl giggled menacingly.
Lucy could see something behind those soft eyes. It was a glint of something wild and primal. A part of her knew that the girl was not messing about and would not hesitate to hurt her if she didn't do as she was told.
"Good girl" She said.
The girl used her free hand to grab a red belt that was hanging up and wrap it tightly around Lucy's hands. It was so tight that she could feel the blood being cut of from her hands, turning them numb.
"Aww see that should stop you struggling to much" the girl grinned letting go of her throat and pushing Lucy roughly to the floor. "Now time for those fine legs of yours."
This time she grabbed a green belt using it to bind her ankles together. Followed up by another belt , this one red like the first , wrapped round her upper leg just above the knee.
"Try and get free" command the girl.
Lucy twisted and turned with all her might, desperately trying to get free of the belts. They refused to loosen at all and only caused her body to ache from where the belt where digging into her skin. Lucy could see the girl was finding this rather amusing to watch.
"Fun as this is to watch I got a lot to get through this weekend so we better move on now that we gathered that you are not going anywhere soon" the girl informed Lucy.
"This weekend ! This girl could possible think should could keep her tied up like this?" Lucy screamed both in her head and out load which came out as an "Mhhhhhh!"
"I told you to shut it " the girl roared grabbing Lucy by the hair and dragging her into the corner of the closet. " Cause me to much trouble and I make the rest of your life a living hell.You understand?"
Lucy nodded.
The girl calmed down instantly, like a switch had been turned off. "Now I guessing you wondering right now a few things, which I shall now explain. Firstly as you noticed I look exactly like you and that because I have been searching the internet for the past year for someone who looked exactly like me. You see I lived for the past few years on the streets, barely surviving only by my wits and a great deal of luck. I started my search looking for stability that I never truly had. Then I found you on facebook. You had it all. Great grades , a cute boyfriend, lots of friends and where from a rich family."
Lucy was turning pale as she continued to listen.
"I began stalking you. At first through the internet, through all those social media accounts you keep.Made tracking where you live and go to school almost to easy considering how you tweet your whole life story every second. Once I laid eyes on you in person I knew you where the one. I watched your movements for the last few months. Noting down everything you did. What shops you go in, who you talk to at school, your music taste. I then after a few months struck gold. When your family and you went away for 2 weeks to Spain someone left a window at the back of your house open. I let myself in and explored your room. Very nice by the way. Lots lovely cloths and gadgets. Might of helped myself then to a few of them" She indicated at the cloths she was wearing "figured you not noticed a few outfits going missing with this many cloths. Also I found you're safe. Took me a few hours to figure out but with my street experience I eventual broke into it. Found some money, you're key's and a sheet paper with all your passwords. I took some of the money, not so much so you noticed but enough for me to pay for all your keys to be copied, never not useful and for me to get some useful bits of equipment."
Lucy was shocked at the level of planning that gone into this. She never realised once that all this was going on. She spotted little things that bothered her. Things missing or out place. But she just thought it was all just in her head. She started quickly thinking of all the stuff the girl was saying and found herself realising with total horror what was happening.
"And when I saw when I hacked onto your facebook how you be home alone for the weekend I knew time to act. I going to say this quiet simply. I taking over your life. I replacing you and am going to enjoy your life to the fullest. Call me Lucy."

Re: A new identity

Postby Zandor » Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:10 pm

More. Now. Sir. Sirmcsie.
You are q immortal

Re: A new identity

Postby jennybond » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:53 am

Very good I'm looking forward to reading more
It only gets tighter if you struggle...

Re: A new identity

Postby Guilty Pleasure » Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:03 am

I try and write the next part in the next day or so.

Re: A new identity

Postby hafnermg » Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:22 am

Very nice so far, and I would say so even if it wasn't your first time. I have been reading on this sight for many years and most of the time first-time stories are rushed really badly. With you though, I can tell you really put the effort into it. I definitely want to see more from you, so please keep it up! You have some great potential, I say this because every time I've seen someone do a first time like yours we are either left with one good story or two, or we end up with someone that we love to follow like Tom Ford or KP presents.

Re: A new identity

Postby AlexUSA » Wed Jun 01, 2016 12:14 pm

Conpletely far-fetched and beyond impossibly ridiculous, but riveting :)