Postby chloroformmeplease » Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:59 am
Friends,such a complex subject some of the time This past year a friend who had been a friend of mine for some years proved he wasn't a friend at all. I was there when his first marriage ended and tried to help him through that. He met someone else and married her. I was his best man and literally held him up as she walked down the isle. I was there for he and his wife through difficult times in their marriage.
They ended up eventually getting a divorce but I tried to help them to be together because it was what they said they wanted. They planned a life together but could not fogive each other for the things they did and said toward one another. I helped him fix things around the house that were broken and spent many hours landscaping and showing him to landscape his yard.
In all this time I found out afterward that he lied to me about so many things. That hurt and then made me pissed off at him. I forgave him because that is what friends do. One day in May I needed a friend. It was the anniversary of the death of my younger brother which is now the hardest day of the year aside from his birthday. He said he would call and try to be there for me on that day. I simply needed a friend who knew my brother so we could get together down at the river and drink some beers and talk about old times we had with my brother. My so called friend never showed up nor did he call me at all. Days and then weeks went by and finally I wrote to him on myspace. I asked him why he wasn't there for me as i had been for him so many times and I only asked this one thing from him. He gave me so many lame ass excuses but not one real reason.
He said his car was acting up on him that day. Then he said he had to take his girlfriend to her father's house for a b-day party. He also said he had to laundry and that some of her family got into an arguement and he had to be there. There was a few more excuses also. This to me was unforgiveable but once again I tried to be friends with him. As I look back now he didn't deserve my forgiveness after what he had done or rather not done.
Then finally the last straw came when he stole from another friend of ours. He actually called my house last week and when I realized it was him on the other end of the phone I said "Are you kidding me,I have nothing to say to you at all and I never will have anything to say to you", and then I hung up the phone. Friendship,yes it can be complicated.
I am sorry about your friendship being destroyed but if the other person dropped the ball then were they really even your friend? I look back now on the friendship I spoke of and I realize all the things I did for him to make his life easier and all he did was make me mad and constantly disapoint me. He was my friend but I was not his friend as he merely used me to do all the things I did for him. We all make mistakes in life but when you don't consider your friends feelings then what kind of a friend are you to that person? I would safely say perhaps not a friend at all.
I am sure we all have our stories about friendship gone wrong. Unfortunately I have a few more of these stories. I find it easier to walk away from someone now and not give them three chances as I did him. Everyone only gets two with me. How about you? How many chances do you give someone before you call it quits?
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.