Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:48 am

I was really depressed. I had just broken up with my girlfriend. I liked her a lot, but she was too controlling. I just couldn't handle it any longer.

As I walked out to my car, I accidentally bumped into Claire Lyons, a really tall, muscular girl I sometimes saw in the weight room. The only experiences I ever had with her was when she would lift the barbell off of me when I tried to lift more than I could while working out.

"Sorry, Claire," I said.

"It's fine, Carter," she said, and walked to her car. I shook my head. That girl was really weird. She hardly spoke a word to anyone. She was six foot five, making her half a foot taller than me, and had unkempt, dirty blonde hair. I shook my head and kept walking.

I saw Claire drive away. I waved to her, but she didn't wave back. I chuckled. She was so strange.

I unlocked my car and started to get in when someone shoved a cloth against my mouth. I tried to fight them off, but however it was was really strong. After a few seconds, I blacked out.




I woke up in a basement of some kind. The only light was from one lightbulb. I tried to move, but I realized my wrists were tied to the arms of a chair. My ankles were tied to the legs. My torso was bound to the chair as well. I tried to ask what the heck was going on, but it came out muffled. There was a cloth in my mouth. Oh crap, I thought.

My ex-girlfriend came into the room, followed by her older brother. They looked nothing alike. My ex-girlfriend's name is Kate. She's five foot three and only a little over one hundred pounds. She had long blonde hair. Her brother, Collin, on the other hand, was six foot one and incredibly ripped. He had a short buzz cut. Today the contrast was even more emphasized, because Collin wore a wife beater shirt, boots, and ripped jeans, while Kate was wearing a pink shirt, yellow flip flops, and a white skirt.

"Hi, Carter," Kate cooed. "How are you feeling?"

I glared at her.

"Yeah, I suppose you wouldn't be feeling too good, after realizing that breaking up with me was a bad idea." She gave me an evil grin, and I shot daggers at her with my eyes. "Oh, don't get too mad. I'll show you what you're missing out on, and then you'll decide you want to be my boyfriend after all." She came over to me and straddled me. She leaned into me and I jerked by head back, but I couldn't move it very far. She removed my gag and kissed my mouth, sliding her tongue in as well.

When she stopped, I spat on her. "Stop it! You could get in a lot of trouble for this, you know? This is kidnapping!" I wasn't screaming very loud, but then I decided to shout as loud as I could. "Somebody help me!" Then I just screamed, but Kate shoved the cloth back into my mouth.

"You're stupid," she said, and slapped me across the face. It didn't hurt, but it made me feel violated in some way. Then she pulled my hair. That did hurt, and I let out a muffled scream. "You know what, I guess I'm done with you anyway. Being with someone who wants to stay a virgin until marriage......yeah, I just can't handle that." She turned to Collin. "Collin, you want to do the honors?"

My eyes widened as I saw Collin extract a long knife from inside his shoe. I shook my head and screamed into the gag as he approached me. This was it. I was going to die.

Then I heard a voice. "What the heck are you freaking psychos doing to poor Carter?" It was Claire. How she knew I was here I had no idea. I shook my head at her, hoping she'd run. She might get herself killed.

"Don't worry, Carter, I can handle this," she said with a smile.




To be continued......

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby xtc » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:01 am

Promising start. I anticipate future developments with pleasure.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Tue Sep 25, 2012 1:03 pm

Thanks for reading! I'm going to post part two right now.

Kate had turned around, but Collin kept coming at me. "Kate, make her go away," he said.

"No problem," she responded. Kate started walking up the stairs. Claire was wearing an over-sized sweatshirt and pants that fit like a guy's, so she honestly didn't look that threatening. Kate didn't look afraid. But I knew better. And that scared me. She would run into this full force and she would probably get herself killed.

Claire pushed Kate down the stairs. Then put her hand on the rail and jumped down to the ground. She ran at Collin and kicked the knife out of his hand. It flew to a spot a few inches from where I was tied up in the chair.

As Claire and Collin went at it, I inched my way over to the knife. I made it pretty close, but I had no idea how I was going to get it. I decided it was best to tip over the chair. Claire had just kicked Collin in the stomach. She was eyeing me, thinking Collin was incapcitated at the moment. But he hit her in the face. Her nose started gushing blood. I was about to tip over the chair, but Claire shook her head, ran over, stomped on the knife, and kicked it in the opposite direction. "You're going to get yourself killed," she mouthed.

I glared at her. I wanted to help her, and she took away my only way to do that.

Claire had pushed Collin up against the wall and held her arm against his throat. But then I saw Kate get up. She had taken a gun out. My eyes widened. I didn't know if I should try to warn Claire. Kate would probably kill me and not her. Claire would be safe. But did I really want to die? If Kate had a gun, she could still kill Claire. And then we'd both be dead. I started to scream. Kate rushed over to me just as Claire looked over.

"Let Collin go, or I'll blow his head off," Kate hissed.

I started shaking all over, but I also shook my head. She had to let me die. If she didn't, I didn't know what they were going to do to her.

Claire let go of Collin and I hung my head. Now she would be killed. I just knew it.

Kate wrapped her arm around my throat and pressed the gun to my right temple. I took a deep breath as I watched Collin walk to the other side of the room and grab a wooden chair like the one I was sitting in. "Sit here," he told Claire.

Claire sat down. Collin got some rope. He brushed her hair and placed his hands on her shoulders. He looked at me. "Now I get to tie up your pretty little friend here and then kill her. And it will be all your fault. I'll make you watch it. And then Kate will kill you." He leaned down to Claire's ear. "You shouldn't have tried to save his life. It was stupid."

"Wait, I have a question: if you're going to kill him anyway, then why should I let you tie me up? Why don't you just shoot me now? Or shoot him now?" Claire asked.

"Because. His death won't be as brutal that way. We had way worse things planned for him before you showed up. But now that you're here, we can torture you instead." He came face to face with Claire. "I like women better anyway."

I started to let out muffled screams. I kept shaking my head at her, but Claire had a steely look in her eyes. She wouldn't listen. "Then go ahead and do it," she hissed.

Collin took both her arms and wrenched them behind her back. She looked at me and then looked at Kate. Her eyes were piercing her.

"Don't worry. He'll die easily if you cooperate," said Kate.

Collin started to wind the rope around Claire's wrists, but in a split second, Claire jumped up, knocking her chair over, and in the next second, she lunged at me, knocking Kate and me over. Claire leaned over me and blood dripped into my eyes. As Claire grabbed the gun from Kate, I saw that the movement pained her. She was using her left arm to grab the gun. There was a bullet in her left arm. My eyes widened.

Claire got up and punched Kate a few times, easily knocking her out. Collin wouldn't be taken down so easily though. He came over with the knife. She block every swipe he took, but finally he got when in to her face. She grabbed the blade, cutting her hand in the process, and threw the knife down to the ground. Then they fought full force. She head butted him. He kicked her in leg. She smacked him in the head with her arm. He punched her in the stomach. They just kept going at it. Then I saw Kate get up and get the knife and gun. My breathing became labored as she approached me, but I wouldn't scream. Claire could live.

My chair was still on the ground. Kate beared down on me, about to stab me in the heart. But Claire was there in an instant and the blade pierced her arm instead of my heart. It went almost all the way through her forearm. She pulled it out of her arm and pulled my chair back up. Kate backed up and pointed the gun at my head.

I saw Claire start to move. I tried to say, "Don't," but it come out more like "domf." But she jumped in front of me anyway, and the bullet hit her in the hip. She slapped the gun out of Kate's hand. Collin had found a switchblade in a desk and threw it, aiming for my heart. Claire stepped in front of me. The knife imbedded itself in her leg. She pulled it out and looked like she was about to collapse, but she didn't. Instead she ran at Collin, grabbed his head, and twisted it. I heard it snap. Before Kate could even do anything, Claire took the rope Collin was going to tie her up with, and tied Kate in a hogtie. Then she fell onto all fours and she puked.

"I just...I just killed someone," she gasped. She looked at me, tears in her eyes, and she screamed, "I took someone's life! I shouldn't have done that."

I shook my head at her. She crawled over to me and removed the gag. "I'm sorry, Carter. I'm sorry you had to witness me killing someone."

I licked my lips and then frowned at her. "You're sorry? Claire, you're hurt because of me. You put yourself in danger to save my life. You did what you had to do. If you hadn't killed him, we'd both be dead. Claire, thank you. I'm forever in your debt."

"No you're not. Besides, I've always wanted to save a dude in distress," she joked. A crooked grin came over her face and she untied me from the chair.

"Claire, you need to go to the hospital. Do you want me to drive you?" I asked.

"No, you don't have to do that. I can get there myself."

"You're joking, right?" I asked.

"I...I wasn't, but I'm being an idiot. There's no way I could make it there myself. You can drive me. Here's my car keys, since you don't have your car here."

I nodded. "Here, lean on me," I said.

She looked angry at what I said, but after she took a few steps, she gave me a resign look. I raised her right arm and put it over my shoulder. I helped her up the stairs. We made it to her car. I helped her into the passenger seat. And then I drove her to the hospital. I helped her inside and then they put her on a gurney. I waited in the waiting room, afraid she might die because of me.




So there will probably be two more parts to this. The next two parts will be more light hearted and still involve tie-ups. I'll let you guys try to figure out what that will entail.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:35 pm

So I'm really bummed cause I tried posting part three and it logged me out and I lost the work I did. I'm going to try this again. The bondage won't come until the second half of this post, so please be patient. And I'd like to know what everyone thinks, even if all of you think it sucks. I know there were a lot of typos.

So here's part three!

While Claire was getting patched up, a police officer came in to ask me what the heck went on. I knew I had to tell him about Kate and Collin, but I didn't want to say that Claire was the one who killed Collin. She might go to jail, especially when she did it to save my life. But the criminal justice system sucks, and they might not care about that. So I told him a completely fabricated story about how Claire was kidnapped and taken to the basement of Kate and Collin's house and how she had tried to fight them off there, but they shot and stabbed her and she couldn't fight anymore. Then they tied her up and were about to torture her when I showed up and saved her life. I knew I was taking all the credit for being a knight in shining armor, when in reality I was a distressed dude and she was my freaking heroine, but I didn't want her to be punished for doing a good deed.

"Is she okay?" I asked when I was done.

"Yeah, she's fine."

"Will I go to jail?" I asked.

"Well, frankly Carter, I'm not really buying your story."

"What the heck do you mean?"

"It doesn't add up. I have to ask Claire what happened and see if her story is any better. I'll see you later, Carter."

I groanded. He didn't believe me. I don't what he thought really happened, but he didn't believe me, and that could put Claire in danger.

I waited for an hour until the officer finally came back. "Carter, Claire told a completely different story, and hers actually adds up."

"What did she say?" I asked him, trying to play dumb.

"Mmm, how about this Carter. I won't arrest you for lying to a police officer if you tell me the truth."

I sighed and told him the whole entire story. He nodded when I was finished. "Yep, that's the same story Claire told."

"How'd you know I was lying?"

"Claire looks like she can handle herself. She-"

"Wait," I interrupted. "Claire is skinny though. Does she really look that much more capable than I am?"

"Frankly, Carter, yes, she does. She's skinny, but she's all muscle. If she wasn't wearing such lose fitting clothing, you'd be able to tell. You, well, you're skinny too and you don't have any where near the amount of muscle she does."

"Oh, come on! I'm buff!" I protested.

"Not like she is. But anyway, you also had virtually not a scratch on you, except cuts around your wrists. Which I'm assuming are rope burns. She had none, except for a small scratch on both her wrists, which must have been when she told them she'd let them tie her up to save you from being tortured to death." He raised his eyebrows. "She's a pretty tough chick and she was about to sacrifice everything for you. There was no reason to lie."

"So she won't go to jail?"

"No. She won't. Look, kid, your story was completely ridiculous. I suggest you tell the truth next time." He narrowed his eyes at me. "She might be mad at you, and you probably want to keep her around, in case she has to save your butt again."

"But what else was so bad about my story?"

"What you told me made me think they had raped her, but there were no signs of rape. Actually, she's a....nevermind."

"She's a what?"

"It doesn't matter."

"But why would you guys violate her like that? Isn't that kind of like rape?"

"She consented to let us look. Now, you're free to go. She's down the hall. She's all patched up, so you guys can go home."

I nodded and went down the hall. She was already dressed. "Hi," I said.

"Hi, Carter," she said.

"Hey, I have something to tell you. I lied to the police. I told them I had killed him instead of you killing him. But I said I did it to save your life. I didn't want you to go to jail."

She came over to me, leaned down, and looked directly into my eyes. "You should never, ever, ever be willing to go to jail for me. I deserve to go to jail for killing him. I don't know why they aren't putting me there. But I would never want you to sacrifice your freedom for me. Do you understand me?"

I looked down. "But you almost sacrificed your life for me. Freedom is a complete different thing from your life."

She grabbed my shoulders. "I don't care. I wouldn't have minded dying for you."

I looked back up at her, horrified. "But I wouldn't have wanted that."

"I don't care if you wouldn't have wanted that. Too bad I had to stick around to get you out of the situation. But I should never have killed him. I should've found another way." She looked down at the floor.

I put my hand under her chin and pushed her head back up. "You had a right to kill him. You did what you had to do."

"No. I shouldn't have figured out something else. But I still don't understand why you would be willing to go to jail for me."

"Because you saved my life! I don't get why you wouldn't want me to lie so you could stay out of trouble."

"Well, if you don't get that sacrificing your freedom for me is completely idiotic, than let me say this. I don't want you to get the credit for saving the damsel in distress when in reality, I had to save your butt." She gave me a cocky grin. "No come on. I get to drive this time. It's my car and I'm better now. I'll take you back to school to get your car."

"Wait," I said. "Can we go to your house for the night?"

"You want to spend the night at my house?" Claire hissed. "No, there's no way you're doing that. Now come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me along as we walked to her car.

I got in the passenger seat. Claire stayed silent during the whole drive. She just kept staring at the road, but I kept looking at her. Without turning to me, she said, "Can you stop staring at me?"

I sighed and looked away. She pulled up to a curb and I looked out the window. "I thought we were...."

"I changed my mind. My parents aren't home anyway."

Claire and I got out of the car and went in her house. She led me into her room and she laid down on her bed. I laid down next to her. She stared up at the ceiling, and I stared at her. "Hey, the officer said something about you, but he interrupted himself. I think he was going to say that you were a....a..."

"Yes, Carter, I'm a virgin."

"So am I," I said.

"I'm not having sex with you."

"Oh." I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. "Well, Claire, I've always wanted to be tied up by a hot woman."

Her eyes widened.

"No, no, I hated being tied up by Kate and her brother. Kate....Kate's a terrible person. She was really manipulative and controlling, and when I tried to break up with her, she threatened to kill herself. But then I found out that she said that to everyone when they made her angry. It wasn't true. So I broke up with her. Then she and Collin kidnapped me."

Claire stared at the ceiling for a few more seconds, then she turned her head to me. "I'm so sorry, Carter."

"It's okay. I just always wanted the first time I got tied up to be a time I really wanted it, by a woman I really loved. And Claire, I..."

Claire gave me an evil grin. "Okay, I'll do it. Just strip down to your underwear first. I want to admire your body. Don't worry, no sex."

I smiled and took off my clothes. I figured she wouldn't be able to control herself and she'd have sex with me anyway, and I'd be a perfectly willing victim. She was weird looking, but she was mad hot.

She looked at me and covered my mouth and half-carried, half dragged me to her wardrobe. She extracted some scarves with her left arm while her right hand was still firmly on my mouth. My breathing grew hard. Claire pushed me to the ground. "Don't scream, Carter," she said, snickering. She let go of my mouth. She wrenched my arms behind my back and tied them with her scarf.

"Claire, this is great. I love th-"

She shoved a scarf into my mouth and tied it around the back of my head. "Sh, don't talk." She tied my ankles together and then tied my ankles to my wrists. Then she picked me up as if I weighed nothing and plopped me down on my side on her bed. She laid down next to me, facing me. "Carter, you are pretty hot." She ran her hand over my chest and a shiver went down my spine. She caressed my face and hair and kissed my forehead. I started to get hard. "Oh, no, Carter. You need to keep that erection of yours in check."

I tried to say "I can't," but it came out more like, "I phamph."

"What was that? I didn't understand. Can you speak more clearly?" She grinned at me. "Oh wait, you can't cause you're gagged. Well, Carter, I'm sorry to say that since that penis of yours is hard, I am leaving you like this for a few hours." That didn't sound too bad, until she said, "And I'm leaving the room. Hopefully that will teach you."

She grinned and left the room. That's when I examined the bounds. I struggled and squirmed, but nothing came loose. She was good at this. After about ten minutes, I gave up. I looked at myself in the mirror on the wall. I looked sweaty and completely helpless, but I enjoyed seeing myself like this. My face took on a resigned look as I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. Sleep, however, wouldn't come.

To be continued........

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby xtc » Wed Sep 26, 2012 3:41 pm

I sincerely hope you didn't have to recreate the whole chapter.
At the risk of being condescending may I recommend that you save your work in a program such a s Word before posting so that, when the Shit Fairy visits, you just have to load it again.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Sep 26, 2012 4:17 pm

xtc wrote:I sincerely hope you didn't have to recreate the whole chapter.
At the risk of being condescending may I recommend that you save your work in a program such a s Word before posting so that, when the Shit Fairy visits, you just have to load it again.


Lol, I actually did. I thought about writing it on word beforehand, but I decided not to. Then it came back to bite me in the butt. But when I re-typed it, it logged me off again, but I was smart that time and had copy and pasted it into word before I hit submit.

But anyway, any thoughts on it? Was it incredibly sucky? Cause a lot of my writing is.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby xtc » Wed Sep 26, 2012 4:48 pm

There are many fine aspects of your story but, as with all of us, having the spell-checker and, even better, someone to proof-read it would avoid such words as "groanded".

The speed encouraged by your narrative style in this episode adds excitement to the narrative. But . . . .
. . . I sometimes (as in the previous episode) think that you are trying to pack too much into too little space.

I know: I'm off your Christmas list.

However, unlike some obviously poor writers, (you are NOT a poor writer - have to cover myself!) you ensure that I want to read your posts. That must say something.

On a technicality (from an anally retentive old fart), any police officer who committed such a breach of protocol as to imply the "v" word or any such personal details of another person, should be hung, drawn and quartered. Oops! I'm supposed to be a wishy-washy leftie.

Unlike some writers who just try to pack in as much action as possible and leave us with an arid list of events, you DO take time to establish characters. I have a clear picture of the main protagonists.

We are writing on a fantasy bondage site (I’m not prepared to argue semantics over the word “bondage”). I would merely counsel caution when allowing a character to suffer as much as your heroine did in the previous chapter and yet she was still capable of fighting like a super-hero.

Nevertheless I look forward to your next post (unless it’s the one that comes through my letter-box with the doll with pins sticking in it!).

Here endeth the lecture.

Blessed be,
Xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:28 pm

xtc wrote:There are many fine aspects of your story but, as with all of us, having the spell-checker and, even better, someone to proof-read it would avoid such words as "groanded".

The speed encouraged by your narrative style in this episode adds excitement to the narrative. But . . . .
. . . I sometimes (as in the previous episode) think that you are trying to pack too much into too little space.

I know: I'm off your Christmas list.

However, unlike some obviously poor writers, (you are NOT a poor writer - have to cover myself!) you ensure that I want to read your posts. That must say something.

On a technicality (from an anally retentive old fart), any police officer who committed such a breach of protocol as to imply the "v" word or any such personal details of another person, should be hung, drawn and quartered. Oops! I'm supposed to be a wishy-washy leftie.

Unlike some writers who just try to pack in as much action as possible and leave us with an arid list of events, you DO take time to establish characters. I have a clear picture of the main protagonists.

We are writing on a fantasy bondage site (I’m not prepared to argue semantics over the word “bondage”). I would merely counsel caution when allowing a character to suffer as much as your heroine did in the previous chapter and yet she was still capable of fighting like a super-hero.

Nevertheless I look forward to your next post (unless it’s the one that comes through my letter-box with the doll with pins sticking in it!).

Here endeth the lecture.

Blessed be,
Xtc

Lol, it's all good. I like constructive criticism. Sorry about the typos. I'll proofread from now on. I usually don't do it and yeah, my work usually suffers from it.

As far as the speed goes.......well, I wanted the last post to include bondage, but there's was a lot that had to be written before that. And writing it was kind of boring, so I went through it as fast as possible. But I wanted to write it for a little more character development and...to clarify the consequences (or lack of them) that there were for killing a man.

Yeah, implying the word virgin is definitely not cool.........but whatever.

Yeah, I usually try to do a lot of character development.

Lol. As to Claire fighting like a superheroine with bullet and stab wounds, well.....I write a lot of stuff with heroines, and they always wind up being unrealistic when it comes to how much they get hurt. But......well, like I said, that's always how it is with my stuff. I write about women who make a lot of sacrifices for guys, including taking bullets and stabbings....yeah, hence my username lol. I'll have to try to make it a little more realistic from now on though.

But thanks for the comments. At least your reading it. So no, I'm not sending you a message of a doll with pins sticking in it.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Fri Sep 28, 2012 5:53 pm

All right, here's part four. And there will actually be a part five too.

Claire left me tied up and gagged on her bed for at least an hour. It was pretty cruel. I struggled and wriggled in the bonds, but I couldn’t get loose. The initial excitement at the situation, even after she left, completely went away. Finally, I let out muffled screams.

Claire came back in. “So, is your penis back to its normal size?” She looked down and smiled. “Good, it is.”

She came over to me and undid my gag. “Claire, I couldn’t help my sexual hormones. I mean, I’m only seventeen. My hormones run rampant.”

“Well, I’m eighteen and I can keep my hormones in check.”

“But you’re a girl. It’s different.”

She shook her head. “Yeah, sure it is,” she said sarcastically. Then she untied me. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” She went off, and I suddenly had a bright idea. If she agreed to it, it might be fun. There would be no way I could force her into it; not only would it be cruel, but she’d kick my butt.

Claire came back in and I gave her an evil grin. “Hey, is there any chance I could…..uh….tie you up?”

Claire’s eyes widened. “Oh, heck no. There’s no way.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like I’m going to leave you alone and helpless for the whole time. I stay with you.” I grinned evilly again.

“Oh, you being here will make me feel so much better.” She rolled her eyes. “Carter, there’s no way in heck I’m letting you do this.”

“Oh, come on! Please?”

Claire looked down and sighed. She looked back up at me and her eyes pierced me. “All right, fine, but I swear, Carter, if you try to take advantage of the situation and you have sex with me, it’s rape. I’m not consenting to it and I won’t even allow you. I will escape and I will kick you out of my house. Do you understand me?”

I nodded. “I would never do that, Claire. But since you made me strip down to my underwear, will you do the same for me?” I knew I was taking a gamble, but I had to ask.

She looked at me, horrified. She kept shaking her head, but finally she said, “Fine. But you better keep you penis in check, do you hear me?”

“Yeah, I will.”

She stripped down to her underwear. She was wearing a sports bra and booty shorts under her loose fitting clothes. The bra didn’t show her cleavage, which was disappointing. Maybe it was better that way, though, because my penis would take on a mind of its own if I saw her cleavage. However, her abs, biceps, and leg and calf muscles were quite sexy. I never realized that buff women were such a turn-on. Oh no, there was that penis probably again.

Claire came over to me, and I told her to turn around. I reached up to her mouth, which was a feat in and of itself, and covered it. “Okay, don’t scream, Claire. I’m kidnapping you.” I tried to knock her legs out from under her, but she tense up. “Oh come on, Claire. You have to let me kidnap you, cause there’s no way I can overpower you.”

Finally, she submitted and let me push her to the ground. I grabbed her wrists and placed them behind her back. Then I tied them. Next were her ankles. And then I cinched the rope around her ankles and tied them to her wrists. Next was the gag.

“Oh, come on, Carter. Do you really have to gag me?”

“You gagged me.”

“But Carter—mphh,” she said as I shoved the scarf in her mouth and knotted it at the back of her head.

“All right, let’s see if I can pick you up.” Claire groaned, and I tried to lift her. It wasn’t working though. I sighed. “Okay, I’m going to get you out of the hogtie and let you hop over there.”

Claire rolled her eyes. I undid the hogtie and helped her back up. She hopped over to the bed and I pushed her onto her side. Then I went around to the other side of the bed. Claire tilted her head downwards and averted her gaze from me. I took her chin and for some reason she let me push her head back up. I took another gamble and touched her upper chest, where her somewhat manly pecks were. She shivered and moaned, but didn’t recoil. I skipped over her breasts and ran my hand over her abs. I skipped over her pubic area as well and felt of her thigh and calf muscles. I also pinched her biceps. “You’re quite muscular.” I caressed her face and ran my fingers through her hair. “Is there any chance you’ve changed your mind?”

She looked down and I could tell she was battling with herself. She wanted it, but she just wouldn’t let me. She looked back up and me and shook her head. “Nphh.”

I turned away from her and looked at the ceiling. “Are you like, a Christian or something?” I looked at her. She nodded.

I took her gag out. “Are you going to untie me now?” she asked.

“No,” I said. She groaned. “I’m going to keep you this way until you tell me why you turned yourself into a crazy fighting machine, and also why you almost sacrificed your life to save me.”

Claire started wriggling. “Oh now, we’re not going there. I’m going to get out of this and you’re going to leave.”

I just shook my head. “I know how to tie knots, Claire. Apparently so do you. You won’t get out of it.”

She kept trying anyway, but to no avail. “Ugh, I feel like such a damsel in distress!”

“You agreed to this, Claire,” I said. “You’re not a damsel in distress since you agreed to it.”

“Carter, just let me g—” I covered her mouth.

“Claire, just answer the freaking questions, okay?” My hand was still over her mouth. She looked down at it, then gave me an angry look. “Claire, just nod or shake, but do realize I’m not letting you go until you answer my questions.”

She finally nodded her head. I let go of her mouth.

“Carter, when I was younger….ugh, this is hard to talk about.” She looked away from me. “Carter, are you really not going to let me go until I tell you?”

“No, I’m not letting you go until you tell me. So continue.” She groaned. “When you were younger…..” I prompted.

She sighed. “When I was ten years old, my mother died. After that, my dad started drinking. He would beat my younger brother and me. When I was twelve, I had had enough. He had beaten my brother black and blue while I was out. I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt. My dad took a swing at him, but I caught his punch. I kicked him in the balls. I know that was low, but I wasn’t strong enough yet to fight fair. That night, he took me into his bedroom and whipped my butt with a belt. I didn’t so much care about that; I just wanted him to stop hurting my little brother. So I worked very hard to get as strong as possible. And one day, when he was beating my brother, I hurt him so badly that he had to go to the hospital with a broken rib, nose, arm, and leg. And I damaged his lungs. He was coughing up blood. My brother and I told the police our story, and he went to jail. That’s the story.”

“But you told me your parents weren’t home. You don’t even have parents anymore.”

“No, I don’t. I lied to you. I’m sorry, Carter. It’s my brother that’s not home.”

“But who takes care of you guys?”

“I do. I work as a weight trainer in my spare time. It pays the bills.” She swallowed and I saw her eyes start to get misty. “Ugh, I hate crying!”

“It’s okay to cry,” I said.

“No it’s not.” The mist went away. “I feel so bad for what I did to my dad, even though he deserved it. He almost died because of me. I always wish that I could have handled it a different way. And then I actually take someone’s life. That’s even worse. I hate myself for doing that.” She looked extremely sad, but she wasn’t crying.

“Claire, I’m so sorry. And once again, you did what you had to do. In both situations.”

“Will you let me go now?”

“You still haven’t answered my question. Why did you risk your life for me?”

“Carter, I would do that for just about anyone. I can’t just stand around and let someone die when I could do something about it.”

I nodded. “Well, thank you, Claire. But please, if there’s a next time, try not to get hurt so badly.”

“But I had to get hurt in order to save your life.”

“I know, but hopefully, if there’s a next time, you won’t have to.”

“Okay, well, will you free me now?”

“One more thing, my poor, muscular, captive.” I leaned into her and kissed her. At first she tensed up and didn’t kiss back, but finally she did. I pulled away. “You can’t tell me you didn’t like that?”

“Carter, I’ll be honest, I did,” she whispered.

“Claire, will you go out with me?” I asked.

“If I say no, will you keep me your captive until I relent?”

“No, I’ll let you go, but you can’t just put me off and not give me answer. If you say not right now, that’s okay, but don’t say you don’t know.”

She looked down again and closed her eyes. I thought, but I wasn’t sure, that she was praying. Finally, she opened them, sighed, and looked into my eyes. “Fine. I’ll go out with you. Now untie me already.”

Finally, I let her go. I asked her if I could spend the night.

“Well, my brother, his name is Peter, won’t is sleeping over at his friend’s house, so yeah, I suppose you can.”

“And can we sleep in the same bed? In our underwear?”
“Sure, why the heck not? I’ve already committed a whole bunch of sins today anyway. What’s one more?”

“I don’t think having a guy in your bed is a sin. Sex before marriage is, but not just literally sleeping with a guy.”

“Whatever,” she said. She turned away from me. I felt of her back muscles and she shivered. Then I put my arms around her and placed my hands on her abs. She tensed up again, but after a minute or so, she stroked my arm.

“Claire, I love you,” I whispered in her ear.

She didn’t say anything for a while, and I took that to mean she didn’t. But she surprised me. “I love you too, Carter.”

I smiled and fell asleep.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Tue Oct 02, 2012 3:43 pm

So I'm going to finish this up in a few short paragraphs cause I don't think anyone cares at all, but I still want it to come to an end. This will involve no TUGs. I'm sorry about that.

We woke up really late the next morning. Claire looked at the clock. "Gosh darn it Carter, my brother's going to be here in a half hour. Come on, we have to get home and I have to drive you back to your car at school."

I groaned. "Claire, can't I stay here and meet your brother? How old is he anyway?"

"Carter, Peter is fourteen, and it would be very inappropriate for him to see that I let a guy sleep over."

"Whatever," I said.

We both got dressed and went out to Claire's car. On the way to the school, it seemed as if neither of us had anything to say. Claire looked straight ahead, and I just looked out the window.

Finally I saw the school on the left side of the road. Claire pulled up to my car. "Drive safe, Carter."

I nodded. Then I leaned into her. She didn't recoil, but she didn't lean towards me either. I planted a kiss on her lips. After a few seconds, she kissed back. We embraced each other. "Thank you, Claire. Thank you for saving my life. I'm forever in your debt."

"No you're not. But you're welcome."

"I love you, Claire."

"I love you, too, Carter."




So I know that post was really short, but I just wanted to finish this. Please offer some feedback. I did read over my last post and realized there were a lot of typos. I need to start proofreading. But anyway, I want to start writing some other stuff, and I have a few ideas, but I want to hear what you guys would like to read. I will not write a damsel in distress story, so don't ask me to do that. But yeah, give me some feedback and tell me what kind of story you guys want to hear next (that is, if any of you are actually reading my crappy stories).

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby chloroformmeplease » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:03 am

"No. I shouldn't have figured out something else. But I still don't understand why you would be willing to go to jail for me."

Perhaps: "I should have figured another way, I should have knocked him out and tied him up instead of snapping his neck and killing him". Just a suggestion.

I do believe you meant just the opposite here. When I started to read your story I read every word. A few paragraphs down I began to skim through the story.
I have to say I did thid because things became too busy. What I mean is you went from one thought and/ or scene to another without a smooth transaction and you do not always define the next action.

I am trying to give you the constructive critism you said that is welcome. The actual premise of the story is a good one but your quotes as to what your characters are saying is often repetative. There are a few spots where I found myself having to re-read a sentence to understand who is talking and what you are trying to convey. I have found that using spell check is often a great tool and proof reading it is a good idea. The transaction from idea to idea to the next action should be a smooth one.

I would keep writing but take more time. Do not stop writing stories but never try to rush them for the reader. Always write at your own pace. If you develop a fan following they will wait to read your next chapter. I hope this helps you and does not hinder you at all.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby chloroformmeplease » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:17 am

P.S. your story was not crappy you simply need to slow down,use spell check and proof read. When developing a character you do not need to do it as a list. I hope you don't mind but I would like to leave you with an example.

My ex-girlfriend Kate was a petite young lady who stood at five feet and three inches. Her blonde hair cascaded just below her breasts as she usually wore it straight down which actually made her look more attractive than she was.
Her green eyes were quite beautiful and her lips were full and red. She was usually well dressed and sometimes wore high heels when ever we would go out to eat or something. I think she felt insecure about her height but nevertheless, she inspite of her controlling attitude she was very appealing to the eye. Wherever we went guys would look twice at her which I could tell she ate that attention right up. The girls found her to be a bit uptight or perhaps even a bitch.

It is just a little more developed than describing what she wore that day and the fact that she was short. I hope this helps and not hinders.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:49 am

Heyyyyy,

Thanks for the feedback. I know I rushed it. I'm pretty bad at short stories, and I've also been extremely busy, so it's hard to keep up with this stuff.

I do think what you said first was mad funny. Yeah, she definitely should have done that. And also, yeah, that stupid typo in that sentence. Sorry about that.

Yeah, my writing usually has many, many typos because I never proofread. I don't even really do it for school, either, and when I read my stuff back, I'm like, oh crap. And yes, I know there's a lot of dialogue sometimes. I would definitely have more description if I just slowed down with this stuff.

About your example, that's not really my writing style, but I will definitely try to develope all my main characters next time. In this one, I wanted to focus on the two main characters more so than the antigonists.

Anyway, I'm going to begin writing another one, and hopefully this one will be better.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby xtc » Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:17 am

It’s discouraging when no one comments. Don’t be put off; in less than a fortnight you’ve logged more than 800 hits. Working on the theory that not everyone visits the site every day, perhaps you would be better leaving, say, a week between posts. When I am being sensible (Who said, “When”?), that is what I try to do.

My advice is not to post until YOU are ready and to ignore demands for instant service. I DO know what it’s like to be impatient to post and that is when my excellent Critical Friend, Jason Toddman, has a field day pointing out all the mistakes. Everyone needs a Critical Friend.

Delay also allows me to read and re-read what I have written. Even then I don’t trap all the errors because it’s impossible to proof read one’s own work efficiently because the author reads what it’s SUPPOSED to say and not what’s in front of him/her.

Keep writing and don’t keep putting yourself down in your posts. If YOU believe the work is “crappy”, which it is NOT, how can you expect others to value it?

Hope this helps,
Xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:42 am

xtc wrote:It’s discouraging when no one comments. Don’t be put off; in less than a fortnight you’ve logged more than 800 hits. Working on the theory that not everyone visits the site every day, perhaps you would be better leaving, say, a week between posts. When I am being sensible (Who said, “When”?), that is what I try to do.

My advice is not to post until YOU are ready and to ignore demands for instant service. I DO know what it’s like to be impatient to post and that is when my excellent Critical Friend, Jason Toddman, has a field day pointing out all the mistakes. Everyone needs a Critical Friend.

Delay also allows me to read and re-read what I have written. Even then I don’t trap all the errors because it’s impossible to proof read one’s own work efficiently because the author reads what it’s SUPPOSED to say and not what’s in front of him/her.

Keep writing and don’t keep putting yourself down in your posts. If YOU believe the work is “crappy”, which it is NOT, how can you expect others to value it?

Hope this helps,
Xtc

Well thanks. Yeah, I'm always really negative about myself. But honestly, I can proofread my own work if I just do it. I read all the time, so when I read my stuff, for me it's just like reading someone else's work. I just don't do it, which is completely idiotic, cause I make the worst typos. I turn in essays for school with a lot of typos. I post things on other forums with typos. I post on facebook with typos. And yet I just can't seem to be bothered with reading it over. As far as doing it too fast, well, I do hate when people don't comment, so I feel like maybe if I just go ahead and post, someone will finally respond. And also, I have virtually no great big blocks of free time. At the moment I'm using this site as a way to procrastinate so I won't have to work on an essay. I hate the college life.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby xtc » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:00 pm

As it says on a wonderful greetings card in Oxfam:
Spending four hours a day in college isn't so bad. Otherwise you'd get no sleep at all.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:07 pm

xtc wrote:As it says on a wonderful greetings card in Oxfam:
Spending four hours a day in college isn't so bad. Otherwise you'd get no sleep at all.

Oxfam? Lol, I'm from the U.S. so I have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah, it's not just classes though. It's the work and then the fact that I'm in three clubs and karate as well and visit the weight room on occasion (I need to start doing that more though). And other than those things, I'm a hermit and stay in my room all the time. I desperately need to get out more and stop wasting away on the internet. I have like all of five friends here at college, and I hardly come out my room enough to even see them.

And wait a second, I think I just got the joke. This is one of those durp-de-durp moments. You mean sleeping in class. No, I most certainly do not sleep in class. I did in high school though.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby chloroformmeplease » Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:23 pm

I use to post the next chapter of my stories right after people would comment and ask when the next one was coming. Then I realized shortly after that, that I needed to slow down and write and proof read at my own pace.
People got impatient but if they want to read it that bad they will wait and they basically do not have a choice but to wait for it. Trust me if you have a fan base they will learn to wait.
I understand your writing style is not the same as mine I was merely posting what I did as an example.
I do agree with XTC,if I have the name right that there is no need to put your writing or yourself down.
Everyone on this forum has a story either fact or fiction they wish to tell and by doing so you add to this community.
Too many do not come out of their comfort zone but if more people such as yourself write stories you might just get others to follow your lead by example. Everyone goes through some self doubt sometimes but I believe you will become a great story teller if you keep at it.
My best to you.
Treat others as you wish to be treated. Having said that I will not sit idly by while someone is disrespecting another just because they think they are better than everyone else.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:54 pm

The thing is, my problem is kind of the opposite from people wanting more. It seems like nobody is even reading, so I want to keep writing to see if anyone will even take notice of it. Then again, when that happens, my writing gets sucky and then obviously no one's going to read it. I'll have to slow it down from now on.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby bondageboy04 » Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:09 pm

AWESOME STORY ! :)
love tape gags, love feet, love struggling! :)

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby xtc » Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:23 pm

Yep, you got the joke. Oxfam was once "The Oxford Committee for Famine Relief" It is a great charity. So an "Oxfam shop" is a charity shop. I believe that in America they are called "thrift shops" but that might not be right.

What the previous respondant says is worth taking on board and you might like to scan down the responses to my story, "Tied Olympics" to read the remark about cockroaches.

By the way, I am currently dressed by Oxfam: Undrpants (£3.49 for three) "Next" rainbow boxer-briefs, bought still in their packaging, Levis 501's not too well worn (£6.99) and Cotton Traders sweatshirt that still had its original tags in place (£3.99: rip-off). God, I'm a fashion icon!
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:30 pm

xtc wrote:Yep, you got the joke. Oxfam was once "The Oxford Committee for Famine Relief" It is a great charity. So an "Oxfam shop" is a charity shop. I believe that in America they are called "thrift shops" but that might not be right.

What the previous respondant says is worth taking on board and you might like to scan down the responses to my story, "Tied Olympics" to read the remark about cockroaches.

By the way, I am currently dressed by Oxfam: Undrpants (£3.49 for three) "Next" rainbow boxer-briefs, bought still in their packaging, Levis 501's not too well worn (£6.99) and Cotton Traders sweatshirt that still had its original tags in place (£3.99: rip-off). God, I'm a fashion icon!

Ah, I see. Yes, they are called thrift shops here.

I will do that.

Haha, so you're cheap. Well, nothing wrong with that. I don't know if you have Wal Marts over there in the U.K., but I shop there. In America, where we're all materialistic and want crappy T-shirts solely for the brand name, Wal Mart is pretty much as cheap as people get. I don't even know where the nearest thrift shop is to where I live. Whatever the case, I hate buying clothes and only go when they don't fit anymore or have gotten worn-out. I used to shop like once or twice a year. Now nothing fits me anymore cause I lost about fifty pounds. It's good for me I guess, but not for my parents' wallets.

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:36 pm

bondageboy04 wrote:AWESOME STORY ! :)

Did not even see this at first. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Kidnapped By My Ex-Girlfriend

Postby Sacrificiallove » Fri Oct 05, 2012 3:53 pm

Haha. I saw the cockroach comment. And then I saw your even funnier reply about them surviving a nuclear holocaust. Oh you have to love those pesky cockroaches.