Why remain?

Postby Scottstud94 » Sat Oct 22, 2011 7:09 pm

TUGS oh my friend. My enemy. I love you so, yet hate I feel toward you.

You complicate my life so. My fathers death, my difficult school classes, and my constant worry about my social life. And furthermore my relationships with my friends have been muttled by you. Past, present I cannot ignore the temptation of attempting a TUG now and then. When I've been successful in the past I've paid, unsuccessful and I'm questioned. You get in my head, make me fear the worst, feel as if my friends think I'm crazy even when they do not. A 17 year old does not need this.

So I ask why do I still do TUGS? And why do I get this awful temptation. Just needed to rant.

Re: Why remain?

Postby fabolous1024 » Sat Oct 22, 2011 7:25 pm

If you are adversely being affected by this (or anything like this), you may want to see a therapist. Your love of tugs doesn't need to get in the way of living your life :) You can learn to make it a complimenting part of your life as opposed to something ruining it.

Re: Why remain?

Postby tyman » Sat Oct 22, 2011 8:37 pm

I don't think it's anything the rest of us haven't felt, scottstud. Trust me. It's all in moderation. You will go away from it and come back many times in your life. Just don't let it control you.

Re: Why remain?

Postby xtc » Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:20 am

We are as we are made but, believe me, throughout our lives many things change.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Why remain?

Postby rugas » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:55 am

Oh gawd Scott!!... you're saying what I felt sooo bad and I asked myself every day when I was 17!! (and also now, I must admit)
Even though I've never found any answer at my questions.. doesn't mean that the "questions" are wrong...or at least I thing so

I don't know... I tried many times and many ways to get rid of the tug's world... but without success...so if I can't tell I've given up... I can tell that I learnt that (though idk why...) I was born in this way... and it's so that I'm made... and this helps me to be a bit (just a bit) more relaxed with the whole matter

Re: Why remain?

Postby BondageWolf » Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:17 am

I think we all question it at one point or another. I'm 20 now, but my mid to late teens were so confusing and filled with so many questions of why I liked the idea of tying other girls up, especially when I kind of figured that things like that were probably more of a guy thing. lol Even though they weren't sexual fantasies, I questioned myself a lot. I've found now that I am older that TUGs could be enjoyed by both males and females, the villains and victims alike. I'm still waiting to try getting friends to participate in a TUG though lol I'm more comfortable now with how I am, but still nervous that if I said anything that all but one of my friends (who knows everything about me) will think I'm insane.

Re: Why remain?

Postby Scottstud94 » Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:08 pm

Thanks all. I suppose this came up because I tried a tug with a friend of mine. Opted out of it and gave an excuse for why I had duct tape when I went to his house. But also during my day there certain elements of tie ups came up in different times and scenarios in random conversations with my friend and his family.

This kind of freaked me out, especially because that families almost super Christian conservative. And it led me to question why I'd even try that to someone. It gave me second thoughts and worries like am I not picking up something?

Re: Why remain?

Postby tyman » Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:18 pm

Christian Conservatives can be kinky too. ;-)

Re: Why remain?

Postby dreadnaught3200 » Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:55 pm

tyman wrote:Christian Conservatives can be kinky too. ;-)


Take me for example!
There's a permanent tension in music isn't there? On one hand you have three chords, you know, four four and three chords. Then there's the people like me, who say "Well, why don't we add a fourth chord and put it in five four?" - Bill Bruford

Re: Why remain?

Postby tyman » Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:38 am

and me. :-)

Re: Why remain?

Postby Jack Roper » Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:37 pm

Hi Scott,
I suppose most of us are in turmoil when we first realize that TUGS is not a passing fad, but more of a lifestyle (hate that word). Perhaps the following might help; it's from a book called Stilling the Mind by B. Alan Wallace, about Tibetan Buddhism.

"So even in the midst of suffering, even when the misery or conflict or internal strife or mental afflictions seem to dominate your mind--filling the space of your mind, capturing you, enslaving you--even then your mind is larger than all that. I love that phrase and find it very meaningful. The space of your awareness is larger than the space of your convoluted mind. That doesn't mean the mind isn't afflicted. You are just seeing it from a wider angle, where some voice in you can say, 'Oh, I see, my mind's afflicted; oh, I see this is grief, this is despair,' and so on."

TUGS, or anything else that occupies the mind can then find it's proper place, by just watching, without condemnation or justification, and "you" can watch as the thoughts subside, arise again, and subside. It can be fascinating to do this regarding anything that bothers you. It is a form of meditation.

Hope I am making myself clear.

Aloha,

John
Last edited by Jack Roper on Fri Oct 28, 2011 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Why remain?

Postby MissTieMeUp » Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:00 am

dreadnaught3200 wrote:
tyman wrote:Christian Conservatives can be kinky too. ;-)


Take me for example!


Religion is a big part of my life but I'm kinky too :D (have been since a kid and am now nearing 40) and yes it does sorta come and go but it's always there and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'm not into hardcore BDSM but i love my kinky TUG's and always will. I think it's healthy lol
Rainbow rope & a white cleeve gag are my BFF's ;)

Re: Why remain?

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:15 pm

Very interesting points John.

Re: Why remain?

Postby just4fun » Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:25 am

I have felt much the same way buddy, i know what you mean. But unlike most people- i dont get sexually aroused by TUGs but am always weary that those i have done tugs with may have felt or viewed it different. I like doing it for the challenge! Like an escape artist, tho i will never be that good haha. I am also a Christian and i am not ashamed of that. I have been wrestling with the idea that as a christian i am supposed to be helping set people free, but it seems all i wanna do is tie them down. Its an odd thing- to have a conviction towards something you view as harmless- idk. Ill pray for you, do the same for me! Maybe we will get our answer or "get free" haha.
*I do this for fun...and JUSTICE!*