SUSIE'S SPECIAL SEASONAL SURPRISE
Susie was a good girl but, being nine years old, she didn't really believe in Father Christmas any more but her big brother was such a dick that anything was worth a try. So she sat down, wrote her letter and posted it up the chimney. Even the act of doing so made her feel better about her situation.
On Christmas Eve she went to sleep eventually, having already discovered where her presents were hidden, knowing that she would have to wait until morning to open them. As usual, she would discover that father Christmas had miraculously visited in the guise, no doubt, of her dad who would move the gifts and leave them under the tree.
Of course, Susie woke up very shortly after having gone to sleep. After all, even big girls get excited at Christmas but this year was different.
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She had not been asleep long enough to become bleary-eyed when she woke up and clearly saw him there, sitting on his present sack.
"Ho, ho, ho, Susie, have you been a good girl this year?"
He was unmistakable even if he did not look like those fake Santas that you see at "Yuletide Fayres" and department stores. Nevertheless, Susie knew that he was the real thing.
"Well, have you been good? You know I have to ask. Ho, ho, ho!"
"Yes, Santa, I've been a very good girl", Susie was warming to her role already, "But, Santa, Why are you wearing a green cloak? All the other Santas wear red."
"Ho, ho, ho, my little granddaughter, those other so-called Santas have only worn red since a Pepsi Cola advert in the twenties. I can look anyway that children expect me to. If you want me to wear red, just imagine that I am doing so and that's what you will see. Just one thing, though, please don't make me wear one of those silly bum-freezer jackets; most impractical for the North Pole! Ho, ho, ho!!"
Susie giggled at the word "bum". But, Santa, . . ."
Please don't call me Santa Claus. To some I am Grandfather Frost and to others I am Sinterklaas but I prefer the traditional names wherever I happen to be at the time; here I am Father Christmas."
"Yes, San....., Father Christmas, but . . ."
"Ho, ho, ho! Sorry, but I have to say that. Ho, ho, ho!! Don't you think it's time we got down to business?" The Old Man gave his temporary seat a couple of rather hard slaps. "I have a present for you."
"But . . .
"Well, you did send that note up the chimney, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"And you have been a very good girl this year, haven't you?"
"Yes, Father Christmas."
"I know you have, that's why I'm here with this lovely present." Father Christmas gave the sack another couple of healthy slaps. "Do you mind if I leave out the 'Ho, ho ho's' from now on; I've got a lot more children to visit before I get home?"
Susie was intrigued to find out what present Father Christmas had brought her and willingly excused him from repeating his catch-phrase. The Ancient One stood. He stood a good six feet tall and ramrod straight as he lifted the fur-lined hood of his cloak from his head to reveal a wreath of holly, ivy and mistletoe encircling a lush tangle of long, white hair.
"Well, let's see what we have here." Father Christmas touched the hessian sack with his lantern staff and it dissolved leaving a large cylinder, that could not possibly have fitted in the sack, in its place. "Now, you don't have to wait until the morning to open this special present. In fact I should be pleased to see whether you enjoy my gift." By now Old Father Christmas had hitched the flaps of his cloak onto his shoulders and was standing, feet apart with his hands on what were probably his hips where the broad, black leather strap surrounded what was nominally his waist. He was not a slender fellow. "But you might not want to unwrap it completely until the morning."
Susie was intrigued; of course she would want to unwrap her present completely; perhaps the Old Fellow was becoming senile. Father Christmas did manage to refrain from saying, "Ho, ho, ho" - just - but his leather jerkin certainly wobbled where he was unable to suppress a mischievous chuckle.
There was a large and perfect, glittery bow holding a card announcing 'To Susie. From Old Father Christmas. Please open carefully' round the middle of the cylinder. Susie approached it, fully determined to reduce the wrapping to mere debris in the shortest possible time but, as soon as she touched the bow, it miraculously untied itself and the silver cardboard tube unrolled and flattened itself on the floor.
Susie squealed.
The initial squeal was partly due to surprise but its revitalisation was the product of sheer delight. There, kneeling in the middle of the opened cylinder was Robbie, her demon big brother in a state in which he would not have chosen to be seen by anybody - especially Susie. Susie didn't notice that he couldn't possibly have fitted inside the cylinder, not like that, in any case. She treated herself to another scream of delight.
Robbie was not looking happy but, with that wide, pink ribbon tied round his head and covering his mouth, he couldn't say anything. Yes, I know that you know that such a bow would not be an effective gag but that would only be if a mere mortal had tied it; you must remember that Father Christmas's helpers are very magical Elves. Susie started to understand what Father Christmas had meant when he said that she might not want to finish unwrapping her present completely until later. She stood back and wondered if she could keep him there until morning. All those ribbons did look so pretty and something told Susie that Elf Magic would make sure that they would keep him tied up until she chose to release him. She only hoped that her squeals of delight had not disturbed the rest of the household, after all, it was the first time she had met the real Father Christmas and she was completely unaware that, all the while he was in her home, time for everyone other than those in her bedroom would stand still.
Poor Robbie, he was stuffed. Not only stuffed but screwed as well. He was being held effectively immobilised by all those gay ribbons so that he couldn't even raise his head. Susie was examining her gift who looked as though he had been accoutered by Elf Cheapskate. He seemed to have found not only a pair of white cotton briefs for Robbie to wear, but probably the cheapest, most skimpy garment of its type from the nearest pound shop. As his sister circled, he was well aware that, all the while he was bent over like that, the wretched garment wouldn't even cover his arse-crack decently and, as a dedicated wearer of baggy boxer shorts, he just didn't want to think about the view his sister would get if she caught a look at the front of his raiment once he could straighten up once more.
"Well, my child, I have many other good children to visit tonight. So, do you like your present?" Susie's arms couldn't even reach all the way round the Old Man when she tried to hug him but he was left in no doubt that she did, indeed, absolutely loooove her present. "Well then, will you make me a promise?" By that time Susie would have given her entire 'My Little Pony' collection to charity if he had asked her to. "Well, you know when you put out the carrot for the reindeer?" Susie nodded. "And the mince pie and milk for me?" Susie nodded again while she looked up adoringly into the ancient face. Well, do you think you could swap the milk for sloe gin in future?" Initially, Susie looked puzzled but North Pole Magic ensured that she understood almost immediately and started giggling.
Susie backed off and Old Father Christmas dislodged the fur trimmed front hems of his cloak from his shoulders and raised the cold-defying hood leaving only the toes of his boots, the gloved hand holding the magic staff, his face and white beard uncovered. The beard seemed to sparkle when it moved.
Father Christmas left his last piece of advice for the little girl. "If I were you, I should leave that ribbon", here he touched the festive gag with his staff, "'Till last. He won't be able to untie it himself because it is part of the wrapping on your present." Then Father Christmas treated Susie to one more, "HO!!! Ho!! Ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!" before tapping his staff three times on the floor and fading gradually from Susie's sight.
Susie thought that she might finish unwrapping her present later - much later. You should remember that Susie is a good girl who wouldn't dream of unwrapping her presents until after breakfast.