all tied up by brother and sister

Postby christian47 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:46 am

my name is christian this is me first post hope you like it. if you do let me know and i will post more. i have twins brother and sister there names are jackie and jonathan thare 16. one weekend our dad and mom went out town and would not be back until tuesday.thay left friday night jonathan said to jackie lets tie chris up. so jackie got my dads handcuffs his a cop. i goe the rope jon said. around 8 jon said to me jackie is in your room takeing some money from from you. we went to my room to see what she was doing . as i walked into the room she triped me and i fell to the floor. she grab my hands and handcuffed my. then before i knew it thay to tie rope around me from head to toe. feet was tied i ccold not move. i ask them why are doing this to me. when we tie each other up we tell each and have fun doing it. we tied you up to give you a birthday gift early .my birthday is in april . happy early birthday. you can untie me now i said. in the morrring thay said. so their i was all tied up all night. that moring thay united me ok you can take the hands off now i said. we will if we can put on you hands in front of you . i said i dont mind being handcuff. before i knew it if tied sholder to waste with rope. you are our slave for the week end. the only time i was un tied was when i went to the bathroom my hand were still handcuffed . thay would tie me back up again this lasted all week end. i have more stories to tell if you like this let me know.

Re: all tied up by brother and sister

Postby Fesselfan » Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:14 am

Hello Christian,

this actually could have been a nice story. What spoiled it (for me!) is the fact that it reads as if it was rushed out in two minutes.

Tips:
1st at least use a spell checker (I do it for my stories, too, as english is not my primary language)
2nd paragraphs are your friend, not your enemy
3rd take your time. More detail- let the story develop instead of slamming it in the readers face.

As it stands now, all potential of that story is wasted. I am sure you can do better!

Cheers

FF
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