Part One – Verger
As Alice read the morning edition of the local newspaper over breakfast she was smiling. For many years she had been try to warn the townsfolk about an imminent alien invasion. She submitted several letters to the editor and had even been interviewed twice but nothing had ever made it into print before. Today the third page had an account of her most recent attempt to notify the world that the end was close at hand.
Ever since she was a young girl she had been seeing unexplained lights in the sky, crop damage caused by landing UFO’s and felt the presence of beings that weren’t human. A few evenings ago she was out for a stroll with her fiancé Hugo when a light appeared in the distant sky. Hugo said it was just the reflection of the sun off of an airplane but Alice was convinced it was extraterrestrial in nature.
Now that she had been taken seriously it was only a matter of time before the national media was flocking to her door. Hopefully they arrived before the aliens.
After breakfast she changed out of her pajamas. She put on a simple white cotton bra and panties with a pair of natural pantyhose. Then she put on a cream colored sun dress with a pink floral pattern. The neckline scooped too low and the hemline was too high for her modest sensibilities but Hugo liked it and she now had it and several others like it in her wardrobe.
Next was the tough decision; which shoes to wear. Hugo had also had an influence there. She preferred sensible flats but he liked her slender legs in heels and bought her a new pair at every opportunity. She considered one and then the other. She settled on the heels side of her closet and just had to decide which pair. She finally picked out a delicate pair of white sandals with two narrow straps crossed over the foot, another around the ankle and two inch heels.
She put a delicate chain around her neck. The gold cross on it snuggled gently into the hint of cleavage that was between her small breasts. Then she put on her engagement ring. Every time she put it on she could picture when Hugo had given it to her. He got down on one knee and proposed. Then he slipped it onto her finger. Then he needed help to get up because he had gotten a cramp in his knee. Then she was out the door to start her daily routine.
Alice is a verger at the local church. A verger is the person who makes all the behind the scenes arrangements prior to the church service. It is her job to make sure that everything goes smoothly. It often didn’t. As a matter of fact she only had the job because no one else wanted it. The people of the small Oxfordshire village put up with her quirks because she was a lovable sweetheart and no one wanted to tell her that she wasn’t very good at her job.
Alice found that she didn’t like to work in the morning so she spent the early hours running her errands and visiting many elderly shut-ins. Each day she would alter her routine so that she was visiting someone different at noon. She thought it was her secret but everyone knew that she didn’t like to cook and that she counted on being invited to lunch.
After lunch she would head over to the church. She liked to chat along the way and often didn’t get there until two o’clock or later. Then she would work until the afternoon light began to fade and evening approached. On days when the Vicar was there she would send Alice home at a reasonable hour. On days when the Vicar wasn’t Alice often worked until it was too dark to see what she was doing.
Today she was making the last minute arrangements for the annual Blessing of the Animals at tomorrow’s service. Actually she was trying to make all of the arrangements because, as she is prone to do, she left it all until the last minute. The day wore on and she made phone calls and typed up and printed the bulletin. When she was finally done she realized it was getting dark in the room. It was time to go home.
She shut down the computer and picked up her purse. As she approached the door to leave two figures entered the room. She froze in her tracks. She dropped her purse. They were aliens!
Part 2 – Visitation
They were short. They had green faces and large pointy ears jutting out of the sides of their heads. The top of their heads were wrinkled and sparsely covered with wisps of hair. They had human like eyes but their eyelids were also heavily wrinkled as was the rest of the face. The nose and mouth reminded Alice of the face of a chimpanzee.
They were wearing loose fitting garments, which resembled bathrobes, made of a coarse fabric. Each of them held in one hand an object that looked like a spurtle (a spurtle is a long wooden stick used to stir large pots). Why would aliens carry spurtles? It was a question that would have to be answered later.
For as long as she could remember Alice had wanted to try to communicate with an alien. Now she didn’t remember that. All she wanted to do was get out. The only exit was the door behind them. She made a charge for it.
It was six steps to the door. Five steps to the aliens. Step one; the spurtles began to shimmer. Step two; they became bright enough to give the entire room a green glow. Step three; the aliens crossed the spurtles between them blocking her exit. Step four; she came to a sudden halt.
The gleaming energy weapons held before her looked dangerous. She knew that one swipe and she could be cut in half. For some reason she wondered if they would slice her from side to side or from top to bottom. It was the sort of silly thing that often popped into Alice’s head when she was under stress.
She looked from one to the other. Their beady little eyes studied her. No one moved for a few seconds. Then the aliens looked at each other and nodded. Alien #1 stepped around behind her and Alien #2 stayed in front. #1 turned to leave the room. #2 pushed Alice to follow. “They’re taking me to their ship” she thought.
She began to imagine the horrors that awaited her. Experimental surgery, horrible mutilation, brain probes. She wanted to run but she was trapped. The narrow hallway allowed no room to escape. #2 waved the spurtle of death inches away from the back of her head. She marched along obediently. When they arrived at the door the aliens continued past it.
They took her into the church. Alice was confused. They led her to the altar. #1 stepped aside and #2 pushed her up to the altar. #1 swept the altar cloth off with his spurtle. #2 prodded her back with his spurtle. There was no pain, no smell of burning flesh; only an insistent poking. #1 motioned to the altar with his spurtle. She understood what he wanted.
She climbed up onto the altar. The two of them poked and prodded her. With each jab she moved submissively until they were happy with her position. She was lying on her back. Her ankles were together and her wrists were crossed above her head. #2 moved towards her feet while #1 went to her hands. She couldn’t see them but the glow of their energy weapons told her they were ready to strike should she try to flee.
Then she felt some sort of force field grip her wrists and ankles. She twisted and turned but could not move her limbs. She was now at their mercy. #2 remained by her feet while #1 walked back to the front of the altar. He reached out his hand towards her face. She wanted to turn away but feared what his reaction might be. Not wanting to provoke him she closed her eyes and awaited whatever was to come.
Part 3 – Violation
He placed his hand over her mouth. He pushed down firmly and then removed it. Alice was in a panic. With one simple touch he had somehow immobilized her lips. Try as she would she could not open her mouth. Whatever fate was to befall her no one would hear her screams.
And then, if being captured by little green men from space wasn’t enough, things started to get really strange. Contrary to chopping her into little pieces, eating her or slicing her open to expose her organs the aliens did something even weirder. #2 slipped off her shoes and began to fondle her feet. #1 slipped his hand into her dress and massaged her breast. #2 began to kiss and lick her nylon clad toes.
In spite of her fear and confusion Alice’s natural reactions took hold. Her nipples responded to the gentle touch of the alien hand as they grew and stiffened. Waves of pleasure rippled up her legs as her toes were given loving attention.
#1 took her hold of her nipple and softly rolled it between his fingertips. #2 continued to make love to her toes but also began to massage her heels and arches. Alice could feel the cold marble of the altar penetrating the flimsy fabric of her dress in contrast to the hot waves of pleasure that washed over her body.
After a minute or two of extraterrestrial ecstasy she had an orgasm the likes of which she had never experienced before. Her body arched and shook. A scream of bliss was muffled by the gag. At the peak of her rapture her arched her body froze for a second as the surge of passion roared through her; then she collapsed into a limp heap.
The aliens panicked at her collapse. They quickly covered her with the altar cloth and fled. Alice’s head was spinning. Every atom of her body radiated with an unearthly glow of warmth. Exhausted she fell asleep.
The aliens exited out of the back door. They paused for a moment and pulled out a hidden duffle bag from under the hedge. Into it they placed their Authentic Star Wars Souvenir Light Sabers. Then they peeled the Yoda masks off of their sweaty faces. Then they removed the robes that they had fashioned out of burlap potato sacks.
As they walked home the Dougall brothers excitedly discussed their latest conquest and how fortunate it had been that they saw the UFO article in the paper. They had wanted to capture Alice for quite awhile but until now weren’t quite sure how to do it.
Part 4 – Vicar
It was Sunday morning, the Blessing of the Animals was today, and Alice was nowhere to be found. The Vicar was in a dither. Alice was not at home, she had not spent the night with Hugo and all of her elderly acquaintances were at the church and had not seen her. The Vicar went through the church bulletin Alice had printed and all was in order. She checked her supplies and everything required was there. Alice, for once, had done an excellent job and all was ready. The Vicar had everything she needed except Alice herself.
The Vicar greeted everyone at the door of the church as they filed in. The animals would be blessed outside but first there would be a communion for the people inside. Once the last person was seated the service started.
Walking down the aisle something didn’t look right. The Vicar noticed that the altar looked odd. Under the altar cloth should have been the familiar outline of the flask of sacramental wine and the Eucharist plate which holds the communion wafers. Instead there was a long lumpy form instead.
Pulling back the cloth revealed Alice. She woke with a start. Unable to move or speak she was terrified until she remembered what had happened. Then she saw the congregation staring at her bound body and fear gave way to embarrassment.
The Vicar looked down at Alice, bound and gagged, and knew what had happened. The ropes tying her wrists and ankles, the duct tape on her mouth, it all looked only too familiar. She turned and stepped up to the pulpit.
‘Today we are going to start with the sermon. When I arrived here in Dibley as your new Vicar I was greeted in several ways. A woman Vicar was a big change. Some welcomed me, others did not. Some accepted me, others still have not. And then there are a few who have shown their feelings in quite another way.’
‘A few weeks after arriving I was working late one evening when two Gypsy children dressed in rags entered the church. I welcomed them as I welcome everyone into the house of the Lord but I kept an eye on them because I know their reputation for thievery. What I didn’t know was that it wasn’t theft that they were planning.’
‘As they approached me, right here at the altar, one of them held out a coin as an offering. I reached out for it and it slipped from his fingers to the floor. When I bent over to pick it up the other one pushed me down. Before I knew it I was bound and gagged like poor Alice; and then trussed up hand to ankle in a hog tie.’
She left out the details of what they had done to her while she was in this helpless state.
‘They left me here to be found the next morning like poor Alice. Fortunately I managed to get free after several hours. I was angry but this is no place for anger. I talked to God and he told me to forgive so I have forgiven those poor souls’.
‘Their disguises concealed their identities so I don’t know who did this to me’ she said as she looked directly at the Dougall brothers ‘and I don’t want to know. I just want them to know that all is forgiven.’ She noticed that several other women were also looking at them; most likely also victims of the two innocent looking freckle faced redheads.
‘It would be understandable if I became fearful of strangers but with the strength of the Lord I have not.’ Once again she looked at the boys and said ‘should I have visitors again, late in the day when I’m all alone, I will not turn them away but welcome them.’ The same women all nodded their heads in agreement.
‘Let us pray’ she announced loudly. She stepped down from the pulpit and stood before the altar. She bowed her head and whispered to Alice ‘It was fantastic wasn’t it?’ Alice nodded in agreement. The Vicar raised her arms to the heavens and lifted her head and began…
‘Lord, for what we have received we are truly grateful…’