## A Lesson Learned

Post by LordNelson » Wed Jul 09, 2014 4:31 pm

On a non-TUG related topic I thought I would share with you a lesson I learned about stereotypes.
I was at a music festival on the weekend and one of the featured performers was the Melbourne Ska Orchestra. They encouraged people to come up to the front of the stage to dance. I was seated in the front row in order to get better photos of the performers so I also had a good vantage point from which to observe the dancers.
About three songs into their set two gorgeous young black girls, possibly sisters about 14 or 15 years old, came down the aisle and stood directly in front of me. They were tall, very dark, had long braided hair to their waists, were quite pretty and had well built bodies. I looked at them and thought to myself “now we are going to see some real dancing”.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. When they started to move it was pathetic. A man being electrocuted would have been more graceful. Their bodies twitched spastically while they shuffled their feet in a way that suggested they might fall over at any moment.
I live in a part of Canada where black people are few and far between and so my image of them has been molded mostly by the way blacks are presented in the media. I far as I knew they all had “funk in their souls” and could express it through their movements. I now know that I have been misled and should just each of them on their individual qualities as I would with anyone else.
The old adage “you can’t judge a book by its cover” has been around for a long time but it still holds true.
Last edited by LordNelson on Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by Jay Feely » Wed Jul 09, 2014 4:50 pm

You are judging them by their cover by assuming just because a few are not great dancers that all of them are not great
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by lockedup » Wed Jul 09, 2014 6:48 pm

i always "judge a book by its cover" because im very rarely wrong about someone. it's only logical that if many people who are similar to that person act in a certain way, then that person will act in that same way.
i wouldn't judge someone based off the media though, i think the media can mislead people a lot.
i'm 17, male, a bit of a computer geek, and love to be tied up

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by EmperorDave » Wed Jul 09, 2014 6:57 pm

Wait you thought that black people were mostly these funky and groovy people based on the media? That is kind of foolish man, I mean in way you kind of stereotyped those two black girls to be something based on what the media portrays them as. That is way more different than judging a book by it's cover, and I think the lesson should be don't stereotype. Also I hope I don't sound aggressive or anything lol, just saying is all.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by LordNelson » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:08 am

rivera229 - You've got it exactly right. When I went to school there were no blacks, when I grew up there were no blacks in my community, where I work there are no blacks. My opinions (foolish as you have pointed out), formed when I was young, were created by what I saw on television and they persisted until now. There is a tendency to attribute certain qualities to certain ethnic groups (Japanese are smart, Germans are serious, etc.) but the reality is that each group has as much variety as any other.
Jay Feely - I think from reading your comment that you have taken my meaning backwards. I am not saying that because of these two that I was wrong about all of them. I'm saying that because I was only exposed by the media to certain individuals, who were quite talented, I foolishly assumed that they were all like that. It was an opinion that was developed when I was young and gullible and I had no experience to change that opinion until now.
Where I live is becoming more of a global community with an influx of people from various countries but there are still very few black people here.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by Jay Feely » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:55 am

Sorry for the misunderstanding
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by Jason Toddman » Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:32 am

I also lived in an area with no blacks at all hen i was a child, and very few of them where my cousins lived when i was an adolescent. I had the privilege of making friends with a black family when I lived with my cousins, and quickly learned that these black people at least were nothing like the ones I'd seen on TV. I'd had many mistaken notions of what blacks were supposed to be like, but fortunately they were patient with me (they probably experienced such things a lot, but at least i was more willing to learn differently than most) and soon we became friends and i was even TuGs partners with the ones closest my age.
But then this experience in turn gave me all new impressions that all black people were like Julia, George and Morgan and their family - and come to find that wasn't true either. Some were nice, and some weren't nice at all. Some in fact were bigoted as **** toward whites. You just can't judge a person by their race (or ethic identity or religious belief or sexual orientation or whatever) any more than you can by what the media says about them, or by the black people on TV i grew up being familiar with like Bill Cosby or Flip Wilson or Lt. Uhura.
Now, judging a person by they way he/she acts towards you or others around them/you... that's a whole different thing. i usually start out giving any person i meet every benefit of the doubt. Most people I wind up disliking though I will generally have pegged as a jerk in mere seconds (and my first impression rarely proves wrong); if that's judging a book by its cover, then yes I'm guilty as charged. But the way they look has nothing to do with it (unless they're an un-hygenic slob).
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by sarobah » Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:51 am

Where I live we have a large population of African immigrants and refugees, mostly from Sudan and Somalia. A couple of weekends ago, there was a big festival held in the park near my house, which included a talent quest. Great fun... but some of the acts (singing and dancing) made ME look good… quite a feat! So any such stereotypes would have been swept away.
On the other hand, sporting stereotypes do seem to be borne out by reality. The park has several sports fields. The Africans LOVE their soccer. The Indians and Pakistanis LOVE their cricket. Since to me both of these activities have the same interest rating as watching the grass grow, I must assume it’s a cultural thing, because I cannot imagine any other reason why anyone would bother.
(Apologies to the soccer and cricket fans. I admire your passion, even though I don’t understand it.)
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by OldTUGger » Thu Jul 17, 2014 4:15 am

I try not to judge folks based upon appearances or stereotypes, mainly because as a West Virginian I am so often judged that way.
People of Appalachian descent seem to be the sole remaining societal group openly mocked, criticized and derided in today's United States. Years ago, for example, the Oscar Mayer meat company did a two-page magazine advertisement titled "Hot Dogs of the 50 States." The ad featured a photo of 49 beautiful hot dogs with condiments associated with the corresponding states. Hawaii's, for example, had crushed pineapple on top. And then there was West Virginia's -- a bare wiener on a bare bun, with a big dirty thumbprint on it.
Sigh.
Hence my reluctance to prejudge anyone.
Last edited by OldTUGger on Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by sarobah » Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:29 pm

I was born in Tasmania.
Tasmania (Tassie) is the Australian version of West Virginia... or it was until Princess Mary.
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by Kyle » Thu Jul 17, 2014 6:06 pm

Why would you think all black people could dance anyway? Maybe it comes from living in an area where nearly half the population is black, but I don't think it's ever even entered my mind.

### Re: A Lesson Learned

Post by sarobah » Fri Jul 18, 2014 5:10 am

> Kyle wrote:Why would you think all black people could dance anyway? Maybe it comes from living in an area where nearly half the population is black, but I don't think it's ever even entered my mind.

Because it's about stereotypes. Stereotypes are not always rational.
My personal belief is that stereotyping is an evolutionary trait which allowed our remote ancestors to make quick life-or-death decisions, in order to avoid being eaten. As in... that animal is big and has claws; all big animals with claws are predators; avoid.
It's the same way in which we tend to see patterns where there aren't any (i.e. apophenia). It conferred an evolutionary advantage because it allowed early humans to identify a shape in the undergrowth which might be a predator. The brain says "better safe than sorry". But this also leads to irrational decision-making, as the gambling addict demonstrates.
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.