TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:49 am

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting anything in almost four months, I've been really busy with lots of things. I'm also working on a new story, and thought that perhaps I should finish some of my unfinished tales (Carmen San Diego being the first).

How many people feel ashamed of their preference for bondage? Assuming we're all talking about safe, consensual or fantasy bondage, of course. Please share your stories here.
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby NoMeansYes » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:08 am

Even having liked it for literally as long as I can remember, in one form or another, I still find it really embarrassing and kind of a taboo subject. I often have found and still find myself thinking "why am I into this?" or "why can't I be normal?"

I'd never tell anyone I know in real life that I like tie-up stuff, even though my interests are a far cry from hardcore bdsm and all the master/slave stuff, simply for fear of judgement, ridicule and general lack of understanding. This is what's inhibited me massively in terms of actual "TUG action", as it were.

I know people say "Oh you should just accept yourself for who you are and embrace whatever you're into, don't care about what anyone else thinks!" and I have massive respect for those who can adopt this mantra, but I can't. At least not yet anyway. Part of me wishes that I wasn't into tying up/being tied up, but at this point I've come to realise that I always will be into those things, so at least I don't deny it to myself. I believe that us TUG fans are just born this way, we can't control it.

So yeah, I am embarrassed about it, not because of how I personally feel about it, but more in relation to how I perceive other peoples' reactions. I may be wrong, and some people I know could be totally cool with it, but right now I don't see telling them as a possibility. Bad times. Maybe some of you guys feel similar?

Re: TUG shame

Postby Nexus » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:34 am

Hmm, I'm kind of in between shame and pride, although likely leaning towards shame. There was a time when I couldn't share my feelings even with like-minded individuals (like this message board), and when I was courageous enough to bring it up with whichever girlfriend at the time, I couldn't even say the words "tied up" or "gagged" to their face, I honestly used to have to write it out to them!

Now, I actually enjoy bondage discussion here, and openly talk of plans for TUGs with the wife. However, when it comes to pretty much everyone else, my love for bondage is a well guarded secret. Most of my friends would probably just shrug at the notion of my interests, but I just can't openly admit it to any of them, not even the ones I consider closest.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Fri Jun 28, 2013 1:46 pm

Thanks for sharing. Pride? Nexus, I wish I could feel that way. Well, luckily I have a small group of friends who like bondage, and I can discuss things like gags and favourite position and they won't even raise their eyebrows. Most of my friends, including my best friend, are not at all into it.

One of my worst experiences happened a few years ago, when a close relative unwittingly looked inside my drawer and found a roll of duct tape and some rope. I guess they put 2 and 2 together, and started asking me the most embarrassing questions. They clearly disapproved, and kept referring to it until recently, when I finally said: "If you don't like bondage, that's fine, why do you have to keep bringing it up then?" They realized I have *some* masochistic tendencies - I do like to be dominated (probably around 90% of the time), maybe teased a little, but I don't want to ever be physically hurt and I definitely don't want to hurt anybody. I think some people can't really make that difference in their heads lol.
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Plueschbabycd » Sun Jun 30, 2013 8:52 am

I would also shame if some my relative would find out that I like it. :) I know until now it is so commonly accepted like homosexuality. By me it is also because know that I know fantasy is not save and sometimes the wish get fantasy real and would cross border to safety.

Perhaps it would for me if find someone how knows borders. :)
Andrew
"Don´t dream it, be it." Dr. Frank N. Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show

Re: TUG shame

Postby FelixSH » Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:06 am

I already told friends that I liked bondage, but they didn´t really care. Most people don´t know, but that´s more because it´s something personal which I only want to share with people I really trust, not because of shame. There is nothing shameful about liking this stuff. I´m not really interested in people who would judge me because of something as trivial as a simple fetish, so in that case there would probably be a consensus about having no contact anymore.

Re: TUG shame

Postby NemesisPrime » Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:05 pm

It's not something I bring up in everyday conversation expect with those who I know like it but while I've already admitted to myself that there is no such thing as normal I still don't bring it up because of how people will react because when most think of bondage they think leather, chains, whips and stuff like that but there's SO much more than that it's about trust, love, and one's willingness and dedication.

My parents know about my obession with duct tape because they've caught me more than once and the last time was very um...Tramatic let's say. Done out of good intentions but horribly exacutied.
Everyone speaks in multiple languages...But gag talk is universal and a sock in your mouth is the perfect translator!

Re: TUG shame

Postby truly_trussed » Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:01 pm

Who are our role models? More and more gay and lesbian entertainers are coming out, as well as politicians and even former and current athletes. Have any kinky celebrities come out? There've been rumors about a few men and women over the years but I don't recall anyone admiting to being a fan of Recreational Bondage. What say you? :gag:

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:21 pm

How about Rihanna? (she's more into S&M, but she does get saran wrapped to the dungeon wall in her video) :lol:
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby truly_trussed » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:27 pm

I guess I'm referring to the off-camera personal life. When thespians are bound and gagged as part of their role, it's just another day at the office, er studio. There just might be some famous Tuggers but they are discreet as you and I. :tied: :gag:

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Mon Jul 01, 2013 4:07 pm

Hey legend, your fetish sounds pretty tame, and I'm glad you set yourself an account because imho this is a very accepting community.

Just out of curiosity, do you only want to tie someone up, or would you also want to be tied up?
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Antonius97 » Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:06 pm

Ashamed? Never.
Embarrassed, occasionally.
I've had awkward situations arise from my interest in bondage (getting a massive hard-on while tying up a male friend of mine, for example. He didn't notice. Nor did, to my amazement, the 2 other guys in the room), but never have I wished I didn't have said interest. Key factor in this is probably the internet, actually. From behind the anonymity of a keyboard, I can easily communicate to people with similar interests (you guys), and find that my 'weirdness' isn't actually that weird at all.

On a related note, I've noticed that almost every person I've discussed sex with (as conversation, not as education) would reveal that he/she has a unique fetish/fantasy. I theorize that everyone either has one, or hasn't found theirs yet. These desires may seem bizarre and twisted to most people, but to the person desiring it, it seems perfectly normal. So my typical response to such a question is to say that this is not a black and white issue. There is no right and wrong, normal and weird, or attractive and unattractive.

I often see people say "Oh, well I might desire X, but at least I don't desire Y!" Well, if I were to talk to the people that desire Y, they might say something like "Oh, well I might desire Y, but at least I don't desire Z!" See where this is going?

I think that the issue is too complex and subjective to waste time evaluating what is and isn't shameful. Life's too short to waste time doing that when I could instead be out actually fulfilling these desires.

(If you'll excuse my Reddit speak for a moment...)
TL,DR; Talk and judgement is boring. Sex is fun, and can be done (almost) any way you like.
I didn't choose the TUG life, the TUG life chose me.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Tieup1 » Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:09 am

Like minded people like us, enjoy being tied up, or tying someone else for pleasure, whether sexually, or just in a fun way.

People who are not into it, see it as weird, and most probably think we are too, imo.

If they don't like that sort of thing, fair enough, they don't have to do it, its a personal choice.

But I know it is a taboo subject, and folks like us have to keep our tie up/bondage desires to ourselves.

I have been interested in tie up situations for a long time, to my knowledge only one or two people know of my interest in it.

I would be very embarrassed if more people found out what I like, especially if I had to see them everyday, at work or school.

Re: TUG shame

Postby vantran » Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:38 am

Canuck33 wrote:Hi everyone, this is my first time posting anything in almost four months, I've been really busy with lots of things. I'm also working on a new story, and thought that perhaps I should finish some of my unfinished tales (Carmen San Diego being the first).

How many people feel ashamed of their preference for bondage? Assuming we're all talking about safe, consensual or fantasy bondage, of course. Please share your stories here.


only at the beginning. As it progressed TUGS are a natural part of my life.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Wed Jul 03, 2013 4:51 am

Now that's an image to behold lol.
I would love to have Anne Hathaway tie me up and gag me while she's wearing her Catwoman suit. :)
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby redroach » Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:17 am

Aye. It's something I never ever ever ever talk about to anyone ever. It freaks me out and makes me feel embarrassed. xD

Re: TUG shame

Postby cloud » Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:36 am

redroach wrote:Aye. It's something I never ever ever ever talk about to anyone ever. It freaks me out and makes me feel embarrassed. xD


Why, it is nothing to be ashamed of, it is part of who we are and what makes us us. if you were not into it then how would you be, their are so many little traits that we do that are related to being tied up that we dont even think of that makes us act how we do, other wont notice it as we are being our normal self, but without that variation woudent we be just like everybody else, without variance we would all be the same and that would be boring.

So this is nothing to eb ashamed of, it is a part of you. Now talking about it to someone else is anothing thing.......
Oh, a TUG! Do I have to play alone?
First Fictional Story (chapters 0-18): Moved Closer by Bondage

Re: TUG shame

Postby Kyle » Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:17 am

Nobody should be ashamed of it. With that said, some things are best left unsaid in public settings as well. I don't think the whole world needs to know you like to get tied up, or tie someone else up, especially if you do it in a sexual context. There's a time and place for everything.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Antonius97 » Wed Jul 03, 2013 7:37 pm

redroach wrote:Aye. It's something I never ever ever ever talk about to anyone ever. It freaks me out and makes me feel embarrassed. xD

You're talking to us about it right now, no?
I didn't choose the TUG life, the TUG life chose me.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Wed Jul 03, 2013 8:02 pm

I think he might be freaked out by talking about the bondage itself, the restraints you use and such. I agree, although it might be embarrassinf, this isn‘t something you should be ashamed of. Just remember that there's a time and a place for everything :big: .
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Thu Jul 04, 2013 6:26 am

SteveLuis wrote:Only downside is it can be frustrating knowing I could never tell say a male friend about my interest and ask to be tied up by him because that would freak him out and make him think I was gay which I'm not but I would be so turned on by being tied up by one or two of my male friends.


Hey, if you're sexually turned on by the thought of getting tied up by your guy friends, wouldn't that mean you're bi-curious? Obviously you wouldn't be gay if you've been doing it with your girlfriend for so long, or want to be tied up by Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. :big:

I have a male bondage buddy whom I meet with, whenever I'm single (I don't think he ever had a LTR), he usually ties me up, sometimes very strictly (he's quite trustworthy). He considers himself a Dom, but sometimes he's so turned on he wants to switch, it's awesome!
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby cellofello » Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:50 pm

Canuck33 wrote:
Hey, if you're sexually turned on by the thought of getting tied up by your guy friends, wouldn't that mean you're bi-curious?


Not necessarily. It may just mean that the person is sexually turned on by the thought of being tied up, period.

Re: TUG shame

Postby Canuck33 » Fri Jul 05, 2013 8:51 pm

In that case, methinks he would be equally turned on getting tied up by a girl.
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Re: TUG shame

Postby DMC13 » Sat Jul 06, 2013 7:56 pm

I haven't openly told anyone, like 2 people that I know know about me. I do not like being tied as much as doing the ropework, but as an author my writing reflects my interests. My biggest problems are sometimes saying the words, even to myself.
I don't care.

Re: TUG shame

Postby ropebound » Sun Jul 07, 2013 4:43 am

I'm not really ashamed of my 'interests', but I'm not ready to tell anyone yet. Sometimes I wish as an 16-year old boy I could just go and masturbate when I'm horny, instead I start scouting the house for my dress shirt and some pieces of rope.. not that I don't like it but it makes things a little more complicated :|
Dress classy, Think dirty.
Email: rope.bound@hotmail.com
Skype: rope.bound
Yahoo: rope.bound