## How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by Thesodor » Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:46 am

So, I'm into bondage, for the obvious reason for being on this site, and I'm currently looking for a girlfriend (Don't worry, I'm not asking anyone to message me to become one). When I do find the right one, what will be the best way to tell her that I'm into bdsm? It just doesn't seem like a natural 'thing' to like bondage... Help?

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by Fesselfan » Wed Sep 10, 2014 3:08 am

You think people who don't know you can tell you how to get a hypothetical girl into bondage? Wow, that's a real broad generalisation
From my point of view, you formulate a question which you should best first answer for yourself...

> When I do find the right one, what will be the best way to tell her that I'm into bdsm?

You should rather ask "If she's not into BDSM, can she be the right one for me?" The honest answer of that question will perhaps bring you way forward toward happiness
Cheers
FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by Nexus » Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:12 pm

Step 1) Acquire a girlfriend. I'll leave that part up to you.
Step 2) Go out, do "normal" things. Establish trust, perhaps a sexual relationship if you are both ready.
Step 3) After a few months of dating, one or both of the establishments in step 2 should be there. At this point there should be no problem in openly discussing deeper interests.

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by cellofello » Wed Sep 10, 2014 9:14 pm

> Thesodor wrote:When I do find the right one, what will be the best way to tell her that I'm into bdsm? It just doesn't seem like a natural 'thing' to like bondage... Help?

Given the number of people on this board, it seems to be more natural than you believe...
Me, I just tell them as soon as it appears the relationship will turn sexual and we start discussing going in that direction. It's worked reasonably well for me. Even the few with no interest whatsoever have not run screaming. Quite a few turned out to be into it themselves, and some who had never tried it before developed a real taste for it.
If you're not willing to do that, there are some other options. If you want to tie (at least part of the time), you can hold her down while making out and gauge her reaction. A suggestion that has come up repeatedly for people who want to be tied is to watch a movie with a bondage scene and say, "Oh, come on, I bet I could get out of that!" Mind you, I'm more direct and have never tried that trick myself, but other people seem to like it.

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by jsherwood » Tue Sep 16, 2014 6:28 am

Slowly, talk about fiction DiDs at first, see if the girl loves to be a DiD, then slowly tell her that a DiD needs to be bound and/or gagged.

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by ducttape1234 » Wed Sep 17, 2014 12:56 pm

> Nexus wrote:Step 1) Acquire a girlfriend. I'll leave that part up to you.
> Step 2) Go out, do "normal" things. Establish trust, perhaps a sexual relationship if you are both ready.
> Step 3) After a few months of dating, one or both of the establishments in step 2 should be there. At this point there should be no problem in openly discussing deeper interests.

Pretty much how i did it, if you know someone a long enough time you can tell them anything

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by NoMeansYes » Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:24 pm

Yeah the "Acquire a girlfriend" is kind of what this all hinges on primarily.
Also this "is it normal/natural to like bondage?" thing some people have got going on around this place needs to die. You like it and you always will. Whether something is normal/natural or not is impossible to describe, but this is developing into a tangent so...
Find yourself a bird first then worry about part 2 later.

### Re: How to approach someone about Bondage

Post by jsherwood » Thu Sep 18, 2014 2:03 am

try using your limbs as bondage material when making out/making love.