A Word of Warning

Postby Sacrificiallove » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:50 am

So recently I've been asked a few things: Where I live, can you send pictures of yourself, can you text me, can you email me.

This are things I will not answer or do. My email has my last name in it, so I don't give it out on the internet. I don't want provactive pictures of myself on the internet. I don't want some guy I don't even know getting off on what I look like. And I don't even know where those pictures might end up in the future.

I refuse to meet anyone because you never know how that could go. I stick with people I know in real life and keep internet people strictly on the internet. I say my name and age and what country I'm from and that is it. I'm not exactly afraid of being raped or attacked, and I like to believe I can handle myself, but when something unexpected happens, and when a weapon might be involved, it could get ugly and I would never be sure if I could come out on top.

So I don't care if you're a guy or a girl, I'd warn all of you to be careful telling people on a site who you don't even know where you live and being willing to meet them in real life. You should be putting pictures on the internet. The online community can be an unsafe place, especially on a site like this. You can never be too cautious.

I would also be careful making brash comments about how you believe you could overpower a girl you don't even know. Yes, this was said to me and I don't think it's fair to say that. It seems like a lot of the people on this site, men and women, have this idea that women are weak and will easily submit and easily be overpowered. This is not the case, and no one should ever underestimate the power of a woman.

So there you have it folks. Be safe.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Zandor » Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:13 am

See this is what i also go by. Its a good way to go by.
You are q immortal

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Sacrificiallove » Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:17 am

Indeed.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby truly_trussed » Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:25 am

I've always said, it takes a lot of trust if you wanna get trussed.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Sacrificiallove » Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:26 am

Yeah, and there's no way you can ever trust someone who you've met online.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Fesselfan » Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:20 pm

While I go along with the general tone of your post, I beg to differe in some points. Most people care way too less about their personal data.
I agree with you...online, there are a lot of pretenders (=people who think they are something different online than in real life....be it in personality or gender).
However, online ressources, if used in the right way, can be a great way to get to know like minded people. And with all forms of contacting- some people you like, some not.
Over the past decade, I have met a lot of bondage orientated people. Some I didnt like. And one girl I first met online I married. So, you never can tell :)

Cheers

FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby sarobah » Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:09 pm

There are definitely issues with having pictures and personal information on the net – confidentiality, stalkers, identity theft, job prospects, etc. It’s like getting a tattoo – once it’s there, it’s there forever.
I believe “paranoia” is not such a bad watchword.
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Sacrificiallove » Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:55 pm

sarobah wrote:There are definitely issues with having pictures and personal information on the net – confidentiality, stalkers, identity theft, job prospects, etc. It’s like getting a tattoo – once it’s there, it’s there forever.
I believe “paranoia” is not such a bad watchword.

It's certainly not bad when it comes to the internet, for sure.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby cellofello » Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:43 pm

Sacrificiallove wrote:This are things I will not answer or do. My email has my last name in it, so I don't give it out on the internet.


You could always create a separate email account specifically for the purpose of chatting with people about these topics without the limitations of this board's private message system such limits on the total size of all messages. Just go to mail.google.com and see if you can get the email address sacrificiallove on gmail. It gives away no more than your ID on this board does.

So I don't care if you're a guy or a girl, I'd warn all of you to be careful telling people on a site who you don't even know where you live and being willing to meet them in real life.


Really, one shouldn't jump too fast into one-on-one bondage games with a new real-life acquaintance either. Just because two people first meet in real life doesn't mean that one of them is any less capable of being the next Ted Bundy than someone first met online. There are techniques that can be used to increase safety when meeting someone, such as "safe calls". This involves telling a trusted friend where you're going, and arranging to call at a certain time to check in - if the call is not made, the friend is supposed to call in the cavalry.

But I believe it's possible to build confidence in someone through online means, particularly if the person has a public persona. By this I mean things they wrote that are available to a wide audience, not just one person. If someone is just writing to you and nobody else, they can try to lie and smooth-talk you. But when they make public posts on this board, you can look for clues like: are they only talking to people in situations where they have something to gain, or are they offering helpful suggestions to people who can't help them fulfill their fantasies (e.g., a heterosexual man offering friendly advice to another man)? Do they ever behave inappropriately to anyone, or do they show basic courtesy to all? In other words, some of the same techniques we use to evaluate the character of someone we meet in real life. It might take six months or even more, but I think you can eventually get a reasonable sense of whether some people online can be trusted with a couple of breadcrumbs to your real life.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Kyle » Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:20 pm

sarobah wrote:There are definitely issues with having pictures and personal information on the net – confidentiality, stalkers, identity theft, job prospects, etc. It’s like getting a tattoo – once it’s there, it’s there forever.
I believe “paranoia” is not such a bad watchword.


I've become a believer that there is no such thing as being too paranoid when it comes to the Internet.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Sacrificiallove » Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:02 pm

cellofello wrote:
Sacrificiallove wrote:This are things I will not answer or do. My email has my last name in it, so I don't give it out on the internet.


You could always create a separate email account specifically for the purpose of chatting with people about these topics without the limitations of this board's private message system such limits on the total size of all messages. Just go to mail.google.com and see if you can get the email address sacrificiallove on gmail. It gives away no more than your ID on this board does.

So I don't care if you're a guy or a girl, I'd warn all of you to be careful telling people on a site who you don't even know where you live and being willing to meet them in real life.


Really, one shouldn't jump too fast into one-on-one bondage games with a new real-life acquaintance either. Just because two people first meet in real life doesn't mean that one of them is any less capable of being the next Ted Bundy than someone first met online. There are techniques that can be used to increase safety when meeting someone, such as "safe calls". This involves telling a trusted friend where you're going, and arranging to call at a certain time to check in - if the call is not made, the friend is supposed to call in the cavalry.

But I believe it's possible to build confidence in someone through online means, particularly if the person has a public persona. By this I mean things they wrote that are available to a wide audience, not just one person. If someone is just writing to you and nobody else, they can try to lie and smooth-talk you. But when they make public posts on this board, you can look for clues like: are they only talking to people in situations where they have something to gain, or are they offering helpful suggestions to people who can't help them fulfill their fantasies (e.g., a heterosexual man offering friendly advice to another man)? Do they ever behave inappropriately to anyone, or do they show basic courtesy to all? In other words, some of the same techniques we use to evaluate the character of someone we meet in real life. It might take six months or even more, but I think you can eventually get a reasonable sense of whether some people online can be trusted with a couple of breadcrumbs to your real life.

In all honesty, I strongly disagree.

Meeting someone in real-life, even after just one time, is still better than over the net. You can pick up on things you can't pick up on over the net, like their tone of voice, their facial expressions, and the distance they put between their body and yours. You also have one of the most important factors: their physical appearance. I'm not saying that that should really mean anything in a relationship, but if you all of a sudden meet some six and a half foot tall person with huge biceps and an intimidating exterior who tries to hit on you, I'd be running away.

Also, people lie on the net, not just in private messages. Some people are completely different from who they pretend to be.

Having someone call you at a certain time will not save that person from getting raped, beaten, or murdered. If you are going to meet someone you met online, the first few meetings should be in public. The next few should be with a group of friends, both yours and theirs. After a while, if you gain trust, maybe, just maybe it's okay after that. I'd still be leery.

So I agree with Kyle, you can never be too paranoid on the net.

That being said, I think I'm paranoid of just about anyone, even those that I know. Some guy just told me that he had a dream where I intiated sex with him. I think I'm going to keep him at a safe distance from now on.

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby cellofello » Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:21 am

Sacrificiallove wrote:Having someone call you at a certain time will not save that person from getting raped, beaten, or murdered. If you are going to meet someone you met online, the first few meetings should be in public.


I agree with the second sentence, and never meant to imply otherwise. As for the first, however, if you tell your date that someone knows where you are and one of you will be calling the other, it can serve as a deterrent. Also, I did not mean that safe calls were only for when you meet someone online. People can fool you in real life as well.

Also, remember that in part I was talking about just trusting someone online with "breadcrumbs" (i.e., your email, your exact city, your name), not necessarily going so far as to get into TUGs. When giving out my email, I'm more worried about being assaulted by ads for little blue pills than I am about being assaulted with ropes and gags. :)

Re: A Word of Warning

Postby Sacrificiallove » Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:49 pm

The only comment I have on this is that safe calls can not always be made in enough time for them to save a person. This goes for people you just met as well. Even if a safe call will get the authorities in, a lot of the time the call will not be made until after something happened.