Exerpt from a story I wrote

Postby KidnappedKid15 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:29 pm

This is an excerpt from a story I wrote and am still working on. I'm only going to post the captive scenes. Please tell me what you think:
“Gotcha kid; come on,” Rod said with satisfaction and brought Mark back to the room where Rich and Paul were tying up Jesse and Dan.
“Okay sit and put your hands behind you,” Rod commanded.
Mark obeyed. He felt the man winding rope snug around his wrists; he winced at the discomfort.
“There, that’ll do it,” Rod said as he secured a knot.
Jesse looked at Mark and then Dan.
“Now what do we do with them?” Paul asked.
"We should find out if anyone knows about us,” Rod said.
“The cops know; they'll be here soon to arrest you jerks,” Jesse said.
"You think you're so tough, don't you kid?" Rich gripped Jesse’s face in his hand and rasped, “I'll ask you one...more...time, does anyone know about us?"
“Nobody but us,” Jesse said; his words were garbled, “you won’t get away with this.”
“We hardly think you’re in a position to stop us kid, now shut up,” Rich rasped and let go of Jesse’s chin.
Jesse grimaced at the man.
The men watched over their captives.
“It shouldn’t be long now boys,” Rich reassured with a smug grin.
The door opened and John and Uri entered. John saw three boys tied in chairs.
“Are these those kids?” John asked.
“Yeah,” Rich said.
John walked around and inspected the ties.
“It looks like you guys tied them up tight,” John said.
“We had to make sure they weren’t gonna get loose,” Rich said and saw Jesse eyeing him intensely. “What kid?”
“You think you can get away with selling millions of dollars of stolen paintings?” Jesse asked.
“That’s the plan kid,” Rich answered.
“How long do you think you’ll get away with this?” Jesse asked. “Most collectors can spot fake paintings from a mile away.”
“Just long enough to get our money,” Rich groaned. “How much longer is it going to take? This kid is giving me a headache.”
“They should be done by now,” John said as he walked over to a black duffle bag, unzipped a side pouch, and took out a roll of wide gray duct tape.
Jesse gulped. His heart started to race and he felt a knot in his stomach.
“Here, gag them. Just make sure you put it tightly over their mouths. We don’t need them yelling and drawing attention,” John ordered.
“It’s about damn time,” Rich said as he tightly laid a long strip over Jesse’s mouth. “I don’t know how much longer I could stand listening to this kid.”
Rod and Paul tore long strips and tightly laid them over Mark and Dan’s mouths.
“There, that’ll shut `em up for a while,” Paul said and patted Dan's cheek.
“Mmmm,” Dan moaned.
Paul cupped his hand behind his ear and asked, “What? What’s that? Gotta speak up kid.”
John and the others chuckled.
Outside, Nick followed a blond haired man heading toward the largest building. He then turned down a path of high grass and brush and peeked in a dusty window with a dim light shining. His heart sank when he saw the guys tied in high-backed chairs and gagged with duct tape. He knew he had to get in some place and help his friends. Nick looked to each side to see a door or an ajar window, anything, but nothing on his side of the building.
Click-click!
Jesse heard a door open. The boys looked to see a blond haired man enter the room. The man looked to be as tall as Mark and Jesse's father and had a similar build. The man wore a brown cap.
“Hey guys,” Hank said as he approached his companions. He then noticed three boys bound in chairs and gagged with long strips of wide gray tape.
“Well well, you didn’t tell me we had guests.”
“They’re just some kids we caught snooping around; they won’t be any trouble to us much longer,” John replied.
Mark and Dan watched the man walk around them.
“You sure tied them up good. The tape looks secure over their mouths,” Hank said and ran his finger along Dan's taped cheek.
"I like this kid. I'd like to take him home," Hank said smiling.
That guy's sick! Jesse thought. Leave Dan alone you freak!
"Mmmm," Dan moaned and turned his face.
“Yeah, he's adorable." John asked. “Where are we with the loading?”
“Everything’s set; we’re ready when you are,” Hank replied and smiled at Dan.
“Thanks Hank. We’ll be right out after we take care of these guys.”
“See ya kid,” Hank said as he patted Dan’s cheek and walked away.
Dan wished he could wipe the smug smile from the man’s face. It was bad enough the men bound and gagged them; he didn't need some freak touching him.
“Okay, let’s go,” John said.
“Just a sec,” Rich said as he set a box with wires and explosives attached on the floor.
Mark and Jesse saw the man set up the explosives.
“What are you doing? We don’t have time for this,” John groaned.
“We got to make sure they can’t blab to the cops,” Rich said as he turned on the device.
“How are they going to tell? They’ve got tape over their mouths. You guys tied them up good. By the time they get out or anyone finds them, we’ll be long gone.”
“Do you want them fingering us as the art thieves? We can’t risk it; we’ve got too much invested to let it be ruined by these wannabe detectives,” Rich rasped as he set five minutes on the timer. “Trust me; it’ll be safer for us.”
“Alright, hurry up and let’s go,” John ordered.
The boys looked at each other with wide frightened eyes.
Rich pressed a button.
5:00
4:59
4:58

With each beep, the seconds counted down.
“Bye, bye boys,” Paul said as he ruffled Dan’s hair.
“Mmmm,” Dan cried.
The boys watched as their captors hurried past them. As the door slammed shut, they got busy wriggling at the ropes around their wrists.
“Mmmph!” Jesse cried.
My knife! Jesse thought. He struggled to stretch his hands down to reach his back pocket.
“MMMMmph!” Jesse groaned; his eyes winced from the pain.
“Mmmph,” Mark cried as he struggled.
The boys heard their captors outside.
“We won’t have to worry about those brats anymore after the bomb goes off,” Rich said.
“Did you see their faces when you brought out the bomb? You sure scared them,” one of the other men snickered.
Those jerks! Jesse thought, but there was no time to think about them. He turned his thoughts back to finding a way out.
“Mmm!” Mark cried as he shifted his body, trying to loosen his bonds.
Mark saw Jesse struggle. He worried more about his little brother than he did for himself. Sure, Jesse was a pain-in-the-neck sometimes, okay, more than that, but he loved him very much. Although they were young, they felt capable of finding their way out of almost anything. They got their resilience and resourcefulness through their parents and grandfather. Their grandfather always told him that nothing is ever as bad as it seems if you keep trying. As Mark struggled, he felt the ropes around his wrists loosening. He hoped to get the ropes loose enough where he could move his hands and untie Jesse. He turned his head, set his feet on the floor, and tried to move himself backward toward Jesse.
Jesse heard the sound of wood scraping against wood. He turned to see Mark push his chair backward toward him. When Mark was tight against Jesse, he felt for the rope that bound Jesse’s wrists. Jesse felt Mark’s fingers as he worked to free the rope.
Hurry, Mark! Jesse thought.

Re: Exerpt from a story I wrote

Postby Scottstud94 » Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:57 am

Very good, I am very interested to hear the rest

Re: Exerpt from a story I wrote

Postby KidnappedKid15 » Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:34 pm

Scottstud94 wrote:Very good, I am very interested to hear the rest

The full story's available on urbis.com. Just look up in the Young adult section and find tomorrow's promise (c)

Re: Exerpt from a story I wrote

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:35 pm

thanx :D