Telling Others

Postby John » Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:55 pm

Hey I have no idea on how to tell others that i like to be bound and tie people up. The only one that knows isn't into it at all. Any suggestions? Oh and any ideas how to to get the chance to tie up the one who isn't into it?

Re: Telling Others

Postby Chris12 » Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:51 pm

Perhaps you should pretend like its a one time joke and he/she could contineu it for revenge.

Re: Telling Others

Postby cellofello » Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:26 am

John wrote:Hey I have no idea on how to tell others that i like to be bound and tie people up. The only one that knows isn't into it at all. Any suggestions? Oh and any ideas how to to get the chance to tie up the one who isn't into it?


It depends on the kind of relationship you have with the person. If you are getting into an intimate physical relationship, then it's only natural to tell the other person what your likes and dislikes are. Bondage is one of the most widespread sexual "kinks;" there's a decent chance your partner will be interested as well. If everything is done with consent, there is no reason to be ashamed.

Of the women I've had some sort of sexual relationship with, only one had absolutely no interest in trying anything of the sort in either role, but she didn't think any less of me for my own interest. Only one who actually tried it decided she didn't like at least one of the roles - but again, she didn't think any less of me for raising the issue. I introduced three women to it who had never tried it before or even thought about it, but liked it when they did try it. Four more turned out to be already into it or at least previously interested in trying when I first raised the subject. And the foregoing do not include the ones I already knew were into it before we got involved! Not one woman has been shocked and broken things off because she found out I'm an evil pervert.

While this is not something I would do myself, I suppose one way that you could get a non-sexual friend to tie you up is to tell them you are interested in learning how to escape being tied. I expect this ruse will likely become transparent pretty quickly if you do it several times without ever escaping.

When you say the other person "isn't into it at all," does this mean the person actively dislikes the idea, or just has never tried it and is not turned on by the idea? If it's the former, I really would not push it. If it's the latter, you might be able to test the waters by asking if s/he would be willing to serve as a "practice dummy" to allow you to test techniques.

If the other person says no, I suggest that should be the end of it - go look for someone else who is more into it rather than trying to raise the subject again. If you do get consent, go slow. In fact, a useful thing both to maximize your chance of getting to do it again and just as a general tying skill would be to see how loosely you can tie the other person while still making it escape-proof. I have needed to learn this myself. I know a woman who enjoys being tied but is not very flexible and can quickly develop circulation problems. I had to experiment with ways to tie her securely yet comfortably. The poses in bondage magazines with elbows tied touching behind the back are really hot, but I personally have never found someone who is flexible enough to be tied that way even for a moment, let alone for any period of time.

It is possible that the other person will find that s/he likes it after all, at least if it's done properly. Another friend of mine is averse to the idea of being tied in large part because as a kid she was tied up in a fairly painful manner with rough rope by other kids who didn't really know any better. It might be possible to get her to try again with soft restraints. She has tried the dominant role with me (she's one of the three I mentioned above for whom I was their first tie-up partner) and she enjoyed it.

Of course, even with someone who is into being tied, you must be willing to release the other person immediately if they want out. That goes double for someone who you don't know is into it.

Re: Telling Others

Postby Boundgal08 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:00 am

Theres an old trick I will share with you!
Get a movie with lots of tie up situations into it, and then say to your mate, i bet i could get out of that, or something along those lines :) Its sometimes works :)
BOUNDGIRL!
Probably the kinkiest woman you will ever meet!
I am a switch, I like to put a man in ropes and also have a man put me in ropes!
I am the 'Queen of bondage'

Re: Telling Others

Postby Fesselfan » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:08 am

I admit I am a little lazy at the moment...but search around these forums, there are a felt zillion threads about this situation with many, many good advices.

Cheers

FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

Re: Telling Others

Postby zanev » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:06 am

why do others need to know?
I close my eyes, Inis Mona
And reminisce of those palmy days
I moon o'er you, Inis Mona
As long as I breathe
I'll call you my home

Re: Telling Others

Postby Scottstud94 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:01 pm

I thought it felt good to tell someone, it was one of my friends. No matter who you tell it's a risk. If you do tell someone make sure you can trust them and hope they aren't to weirdes out by it. If their really your friend or someone you trust... They won't be

Re: Telling Others

Postby Plueschbabycd » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:34 pm

zanev wrote:why do others need to know?

The question "is what would happened if the other find self out?"
For is question should say to person with family relationship and I surly think don´t understand it? I don´t know if they accept it.
Andrew
"Don´t dream it, be it." Dr. Frank N. Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show

Re: Telling Others

Postby cellofello » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:49 pm

zanev wrote:why do others need to know?


Because the ones who would tie you up without knowing whether you like it are probably not the sort of people you really want tying you up?

I could be wrong, but my impression was that the original poster wanted to tell people with the goal of getting them to participate in TUGs. It wasn't to tell merely for the sake of telling, although a later poster did mention that it just felt good to share the secret. I can understand that motivation.

Re: Telling Others

Postby John » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:50 pm

Yeah I meant that i wanted them to participate in one, she's okay with it being a fetish but is wary about me tying her up.