Make the best joke!

Postby Domination » Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:19 am

I want you to make the best joke.

Mine is, look down and spell out attic.
Woah, don't mind if I do.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Tue Oct 11, 2016 12:26 pm

I asked my North Korean friend what life was like in North Korea.

He said he couldn't complain.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby grinandbareit » Mon Oct 17, 2016 7:57 am

What did the hamburger name his daughter???

Patty

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby viking » Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:44 pm

Well, as long nobody jokes about PMS, that is something we never should make fun of, period.
Once a scout, always a perverted pyromaniac with a fetish for knives and duct tape

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:21 am

viking wrote:Well, as long nobody jokes about PMS, that is something we never should make fun of, period.

What if women had apostrophes instead of periods?

They'd be more possessive and more prone to contractions.
Last edited by SolidSnickerdoodle on Sun Oct 23, 2016 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby viking » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:37 am

"Do you know Power Point?"

"I Excel at it."

"Did you just make a Microsoft Office joke?"

"Word."
Once a scout, always a perverted pyromaniac with a fetish for knives and duct tape

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Rob Masamune » Sun Oct 23, 2016 1:23 pm

A mystic dwarf escaped from prison. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
ROB MASAMUNE: Bondage and Tickling artist at large
Favorite my work on DEVIANT ART: http://robmasamune.deviantart.com/
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Re: Make the best joke!

Postby drawscore » Sun Oct 23, 2016 7:36 pm

Do you know the difference between toilet paper, and the shower curtain?

(No)

Oh, so you're the one!

Drawscore

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby viking » Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:12 am

BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!
Once a scout, always a perverted pyromaniac with a fetish for knives and duct tape

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Naughty boy » Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:54 am

The pallbearers were loading a casket into the hearse when the casket slipped out their hands and went down the hill.
It slid through town, running red lights as it went.
It jumped a curb and crashed through a pharmacy window.
Coming to a crashing stop at the druggist's counter, the lid opens and the corpse sits upright.
The druggist leans over the counter and asks "may I help you."
The body says "Yes, do you have something to stop this coffin?"

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Oohmynameisblue » Mon Oct 24, 2016 11:38 am

viking wrote:BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!

Even more appropriate on a tie up forum. :quirk:

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Nexus » Mon Oct 24, 2016 5:38 pm

- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse "Why the long face?" The horse, having no understanding of the English language, promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

- A man walks into a bar. He says "ow that hurt."

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Oohmynameisblue » Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:16 pm

Nexus wrote:- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse "Why the long face?" The horse, having no understanding of the English language, promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

- A man walks into a bar. He says "ow that hurt."

Can you explain this I'm dumb

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Nexus » Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:14 pm

Oohmynameisblue wrote:
Nexus wrote:- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse "Why the long face?" The horse, having no understanding of the English language, promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

- A man walks into a bar. He says "ow that hurt."

Can you explain this I'm dumb


They're two separate jokes. They're both pretty stupid, which is why I like them so much.

The first one pokes fun at the joke itself by smashing you over the head with the reality that horses can't talk.

The second one uses an alternate meaning for the word bar. Like an iron bar, or a pry bar, crowbar, whatever.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Oohmynameisblue » Wed Oct 26, 2016 1:38 pm

Nexus wrote:
Oohmynameisblue wrote:
Nexus wrote:- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse "Why the long face?" The horse, having no understanding of the English language, promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

- A man walks into a bar. He says "ow that hurt."

Can you explain this I'm dumb


They're two separate jokes. They're both pretty stupid, which is why I like them so much.

The first one pokes fun at the joke itself by smashing you over the head with the reality that horses can't talk.

The second one uses an alternate meaning for the word bar. Like an iron bar, or a pry bar, crowbar, whatever.

I get the second one now I kinda understand the first one ish

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Domination » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:46 am

You guys are so clever. I'm not getting these. :cry:
Woah, don't mind if I do.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Boocola » Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:51 pm

https://youtu.be/cfmk5hapRnI
I can't say it as go as he can
:twisted:

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby spd138 » Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:28 pm

How do you get a one arm blonde out if a tree?

Wave at her/him

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby robd142 » Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:43 am

One time a girl i was with seductively said to me why dont you tie me to the bed and do anything you want
ok i said
i tied her up then put my boots on
where are you going she asked
You said do anything i want so im off to cut hay i said

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby xtc » Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:44 am

#1 Did you hear about the Irish spy?

#2 No.

#1 There, you see, the Irish aren't so stupid are they?
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby MisterBones » Tue Mar 21, 2017 10:37 am

Drawscore's posts
I have ocs or whatever

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby xtc » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:23 pm

Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None, that's a hardware problem.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Domination » Sat May 13, 2017 6:24 am

Another joke.


What came first the chicken or the egg?
Woah, don't mind if I do.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Steak in a Tree » Sat May 13, 2017 8:51 am

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them
"They didn't call him 'Einstein' for nothing."
-Albert Einstein

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby Nexus » Sat May 13, 2017 11:28 am

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.

No pun in ten did.

Re: Make the best joke!

Postby That-animeguy » Sun May 14, 2017 2:01 am

You know, you can put a man on a moon, but you can't put a moon on a man ..
So... gulible!