Postby Jay Feely » Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:39 pm
Now, there is a price to being famous in this world. Some may think that it is glorious to be famous and to hold a large sum of money, to be glorified, to be famed, and to receive an executive treatment, but the reality is very different. Famous people are often mistreated as camera crews named as pappirazis often come in to plague the life of these celebrities. 14 year old Jeffrey Davison was just one of them. He grew up in the little town of Fisher, New Zealand. He was your average boy, with blue eyes and straight brown hair. He wore glasses and had freckles. His personality is being smart and kind to his peers. He understood the emotions of people and is able to use his charm to eradicate the negative energy that some people had. He weighted nearly 156 lbs and his height was below average. His hands was properly manicured with the best salonist in the world. His feet was soft, but it was also ticklish. He could not stand anyone or anything touching his feet because he would erupt into giggling almost immediately. His chest was not muscular since he does not work out at the gym. His friends gave him a nickname of "Big Al" due to his enoromous size, but it was unusual since he was the most fit of all his brothers and sisters. In fact, he had three brothers and three sisters. Jeffrey gained his fame from being a great actor. He has starred in several commericals and television shows, and has been known to be funny and serious when it is called for. He is on the honor roll in his class
Jim, aged 12 is the youngest of his siblings. He could be described as having an average build. His interests stem from walking dogs and jogging in the local park. He is the most althetic of all his siblings, but he is not smart at all. In fact, his grades is slipping to a negative slope, but he is passing his classes in middle school. His hair style is formed into a mohawk and it is brown. His shiny and glistering blue eyes attracts girls in his school. His hands, however, is another matter. It has hanging nails and it is flithy. His hygine is bad and he does not take care of himself. He relies solely on his brothers and sisters to help him, and that is his character flaw.
Than, David is 13 years old. As a teenager just reaching puberty, he would not be described as a normal kid. In fact, he is so caught up on liking girls, that he does not focus on anything else. He is a school dropout in only his first year of high school. His parents has already forced him to return to school, and get an education or he is threatened to be evicted from the household, so he is doing fairly better now. His hands is large like ones you would expect from a bass player, but he does not like music. His motivation is his parents and brother Jeffrey, who helps him with his homework everyday without his parents knowledge.
Finally, Chad is 15 years old. Starting in the 10th grade, Chad is doing well in school maintaining high marks. He is well loved by his peers and they treat him with respect and dignity. He is short for his age, but he stands out in weight. Chad suffers from an alarming eating disorder, and it has made him quite obese. He likes to spend quiet time alone in his bedroom reading books or watching television. His parents is now adjusting his meals and packing him healither dishes so he will be able to control his weight.
Ashley is the oldest girl in the family at aged 21. She is currently attending Mohan University in Dalfino, Puerto Rico. She is a computer science major and is really good at programming and web design. She is cocky and picks on the younger college students for the pleasure of being the best of them. However, it has somehow gave her a good reputation around the school. She has normal height and weight. If not in her room studying, she can be found at the computer lab designing a new game or creating an application.
Sasha is 20 years old. She has just been accepted to Monroe University in San Deigo, California. She wants to graduate with a criminal justice degree. She keeps a set of handcuffs, a spare key, and a sheriff badge in her bedroom. She normally practices criminal justice procedures on her brother Jeffrey, handcuffing him and locking him in her college bedroom whenever he comes to visit. She is average for height and weight.
Finally, the last girl in the family is Mikal. She is 17 years old and is one year away from gradating high school and going to Austrialla University in pursuit of a teaching degree. She works well with children, and can help them grow. The main problem with her is her inability to stop talking. You could have a conversation with her, and she can ramble on and on without end in sight.
The bo
Last edited by
Jay Feely on Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:24 am, edited 3 times in total.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.
Postby Jason Toddman » Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:32 pm
1. What poll?
2. Isn't 13 a tad young for college?
3. 156 pounds = enormous size?
4. I trust there's more coming, as there's no story whatsoever yet.
5. So far.... booooorr-rrrriiinnnggggg!
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...
Postby Chase Ricks » Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:50 pm
I agree Jason. Even my most drily posted story was never even this boring at all. Come on Jay, bring on the excitement and adventure if you dare. Going to a Halloween costume party tomorrow and asking for a digital photo of me in my full costume to be taken and then either emailed to me or put on my Facebook profile photo album. After that is done, I'll upload it here for all members to view. Just note that all the coloring on the mask I did by myself without any help at all. That sahould sacare you Jay into gettingf this story more interesting for readers like me and Jason to want to continue posting.
From whence I came and whence I went heaven said I was too evil and sent me to hell. Demons and devils succeeded in breaking my soul.

Postby Jay Feely » Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:58 am
That is the longest introduction I ever gave. You both are quick to judge my story without even letting me finish the rest.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.
Postby Jay Feely » Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:04 am
Shane Bikman wrote:I agree Jason. Even my most drily posted story was never even this boring at all. Come on Jay, bring on the excitement and adventure if you dare. Going to a Halloween costume party tomorrow and asking for a digital photo of me in my full costume to be taken and then either emailed to me or put on my Facebook profile photo album. After that is done, I'll upload it here for all members to view. Just note that all the coloring on the mask I did by myself without any help at all. That sahould sacare you Jay into gettingf this story more interesting for readers like me and Jason to want to continue posting.
Be careful what you wish for because it is about to change in a new direction just as fast as my typing fingers can be used.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.
Postby Jay Feely » Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:05 am
Jason Toddman wrote:1. What poll?
2. Isn't 13 a tad young for college?
3. 156 pounds = enormous size?
4. I trust there's more coming, as there's no story whatsoever yet.
5. So far.... booooorr-rrrriiinnnggggg!
How dare you come quick to judge my story. I bet you have never written a long introduction before with lots of characters, and for your information, it is the beginning of an epic series.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.
Postby sarumansauron » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:22 am
Interesting introduction, that story promises to be entertaining.
I love TUGS and TICKLING Torture!!!!!
Postby Jason Toddman » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:53 am
My point was Jay that long intros are dull and unnecessary. You should probably have simply started the story and introduced the characters one at a time as they came into it.
Also, you need to elarn to accet criticism ifyou expect to post online or publish anywhere; it comes with the territory.
Or are you so convinced you're already perfect that you can't accept criticism in any form? Even Shane knows better than that! (Sorry Shane that wasn't meant as a diss)
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...
Postby Jay Feely » Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:45 am
Got your point Jason, going to shift up the story for next one.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.
Postby Jason Toddman » Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:10 am
Cool. I think you can be an excellent writer if you put your mind to it. You certainly have enough imagination. All you need is practice and an open mind.
After all, I make comments not to put you down (although the way I write I can see why that might not be clear at times

) but to help you be the better writer I believe you
can be. If I didn't care, I wouldn't bother to say anything at all - pro or con.

Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...
Postby Chase Ricks » Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:15 pm
No offense taken Jason.
Jay please do not think I am the type who can dish out criticism and not take it in return as well. I can do it both ways.
From whence I came and whence I went heaven said I was too evil and sent me to hell. Demons and devils succeeded in breaking my soul.
