## the school

Post by Boundboy2013 » Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:25 pm

Hello all, just before i get to the story, i just want to say M-gag (my Master) is the best Master I've ever known, he's really demanding and strict but good at what he does, if you wish to contact me first, message him before you you contact me
this is my very first story so please be nice
Story
When i arrive at the new school, I didn't know anyone or knew where I was going. The first day was really rough, other boys picking on me and a bunch of home work. That day when I got home I did all my chores and all the work I had. Being 14, I was the youngest in my grade so all the other boys picked on me all day. However, the next day will be completely different…
In the morning of the next day I was just walking around the school trying to find my classes, then I accidentally bumped into this other boy. It turned out he was a senior in this school. He was a few years older then me and a lot taller! He grabbed me and pulled me into the washroom, I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me but he just started laughing at me, telling me how short I was and how gay I looked (the truth was, I was gay) he then grabbed the collar of my blazer (this is a school with school uniforms) "You are now mine boy, I've been watching you, I know you're gay and I bet you don't want anyone knowing you are huh?" I nod my head yes "Thats what I thought, from now on you will do as i say, when i say it, with out any question, or else i will tell the entire school! got it boy?" I again nod my head yes "Good, now you are going to meet me in front of the school after we're done fro the day, you will be coming over for a couple hours to discuss the arrangements ok?
I nod my head for the last time, he lets go of me and we go about our day. Every class change, I saw him in the halls, he just gave me a look and I knew this was going to be a hell of a time in this school. It was a very long day but afar school I knew i had to meet him. I went to the front of the school, he was waiting there in his car ready to take me to his house. I got in and we drove there, he did not speak a word on the ride home. Once we got there he grabbed me and dragged me to his room, he then proceeded to tie me up, first he cuffed my wrists behind my back to his bed so that i saw sitting on the edge, after my wrists were secure, he then tied rope around my ankles to the lower bed post, after this was done I was securely bound to his bed.
"Why did you do that!?" I asked very frightened "Shut up" he said, holding up dirty old socks and duct tape, he shoved them in my mouth and wrapped several layers of tape around my head VERY tightly, "you don't need to talk boy, I'm doing the talking for now, from now on you're mine, every day after school you will come over here and do my school work, today you're going to do an essay for me that is due tomorrow, you better do a good job, if not…you don't want to know what ill do to you." I nod my head yes, slowly. He unties my wrists but leaves me gagged and my ankles tied, then he passes me five sheets of paper and a pencil "You have to fill all sheets by hand, no computer, ill be back in an hour to check on you"
there will be more to come...
boys +/-5 years add me on kik kik: boundboy2013

### Re: the school

Post by chadmc90 » Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:57 pm

Hello, BoundBoy, and congrats on posting your first story.
Perhaps can I offer you some suggestions?
First off, could you separate speaker dialogue and thoughts into individual lines? It makes it easier to read than clunky paragraphs. I didn't see any major grammar and spelling mistakes, so good job on that.
Second, I feel like I needed more details. For example: How does the bully know he's gay? What prompted this accusation? Another thing is how is the bully forcing him into submission? I feel like it would take more than just the word of the bully to get this boy to do whatever he wanted him to do. Unless...the boy is really gullible and naive. Of course, if you have planned to explain this later in the story, then totally disregard this comment. But some extra detail like that would certainly help.
I hope I don't scare you off with this. I say these things because I want to help you. Other than that, I like your story idea.
Check out my latest story A Cowboy's Dream!
Feedback highly appreciated! Feel free to Private Message me if you prefer to not post on the public forum!

### Re: the school

Post by bondagefreak » Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:55 pm

Hey M-gag, buddy!
Your slave did a pretty good job at peeking my interest with this story.
He needs to put more detail into it and focus on describing actions a bit more.
Other than that...I think he did pretty well for a first time.
The plot has potential and hopefully your boy'll know how to develop it.
Let's see what he writes next

### Re: the school

Post by Boundboy2013 » Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:21 pm

part II
After an hour he comes back in the room, I had only done a quarter of the essay, he tells me to stop and turn towards him, i do as told.
"Now boy, you're probably wondering how i know you're gay." I nod my head yes, "I have been following you the past few days and saw you kiss another boy." My cheeks go bright red at this point knowing it was true. He then slaps me across the face and tells me to get back to work, I turn around and continue writing, this time he leaves and dent come back until later that evening.
It is around 8pm now, I had finished the essay about a half hour ago, when he enters the room I am waiting patiently for him. He comes close to me and cuffs my wrists tightly behind my back. He then unties my ankles and places me on my stomach on the carpet and hogties me VERY tightly with rope.
"You must be hungry eh boy?" he asks me, I nod my head yes in agreement, once I do that he places a ham sandwich on white bread in front of my nose, when the gag comes off I look at him questionably. "Eat" he commands, I try my best to eat in the position that I'm in but it turned out to be more difficult then it seemed. After about 20 minutes I finally finish the sandwich
"From now on, when ever you are here you will be eating meals like that. Now usually you would be going home by now but I over heard you saying that your parents will be gone all weekend so you'll be staying here." I nod my head, he picks me up me up and places me on the bed. Once I'm on the bed he undoes the hogtie but quickly ties me tightly spread eagled to the bed with the same white rope, once I was securely bound to the bed he brings out the same socks as before and shoves them in my mouth and wraps duct tape around my head very tightly securing them in. I then see him bringing over a thick leather blindfold and covers my eyes with it.
"Good night boy, see you in the morning." He shuts the light out, leaves the room and closes the door, Im left all alone in the dark and tied to a strangers bed.
boys +/-5 years add me on kik kik: boundboy2013

### Re: the school

Post by mikeybound » Tue Jun 24, 2014 12:58 pm

So far so good. Adding to the constructive criticism, it may be a good idea to address the matter of family. This freshman boy's parents would probably wonder where he went, and even most seniors at least have a guardian. Unless this guy is emancipated, in which case that's half the problem taken care of.
Hmmm. On another note, I don't believe you gave them names.

### Re: the school

Post by Boundboy2013 » Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:16 am

> mikeybound wrote:So far so good. Adding to the constructive criticism, it may be a good idea to address the matter of family. This freshman boy's parents would probably wonder where he went, and even most seniors at least have a guardian. Unless this guy is emancipated, in which case that's half the problem taken care of.
> Hmmm. On another note, I don't believe you gave them names.

Thank you, all help is appreciated as it is my first story i however did state that his parents are going away all weekend i believe (pretty sure)
And i will put in names in the next chapter
boys +/-5 years add me on kik kik: boundboy2013

### Re: the school

Post by xtc » Thu Jun 26, 2014 5:26 am

Add details WHEN you are ready. There's no need to start a story with the character descriptions. I think it's better (and less condescending) to fill out your character descriptions as you go along.
I do agree with Chad though, detail is always useful. It is what differentiates a narrative from a shopping list.
Write on!
Xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!
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