Simon: A Nasty Prank - Complete (m/m)

Postby xtc » Sun Sep 01, 2013 3:29 am

It's nice to meet Simon again. Is BC still in action?
I wonder whether people would appreciate a link to the original story.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 1 (m/m)

Postby xtc » Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:39 am

Oops! forgotten since I started reading. Must be old age!
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 1 (m/m)

Postby Jack Roper » Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:19 pm

delete
Last edited by Jack Roper on Fri Sep 06, 2013 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 1 (m/m)

Postby Jack Roper » Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:28 pm

I always loved your story on the Birthday Party, with poor Simon--the escape artist-- so helpless. This is a great continuation. I would love to see you continue.

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 3 (m/m)

Postby Jack Roper » Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:30 pm

Excellent third chapter. I can't wait for the next one!

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 3 (m/m)

Postby drawscore » Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:08 pm

Interesting, but you need to line space between paragraphs:

"The man saw an opportunity to get out of this sticky situation. This older kid would not undertake any untying right away. So, he had to get as far away as possible before the bound posh kid had his gag removed.

“If you’ve come to make sure nothing happens, that’s fine, I’ll leave you boys on your own. You’re going to free him, aren’t you?”


as opposed to:

The man saw an opportunity to get out of this sticky situation. This older kid would not undertake any untying right away. So, he had to get as far away as possible before the bound posh kid had his gag removed.
“If you’ve come to make sure nothing happens, that’s fine, I’ll leave you boys on your own. You’re going to free him, aren’t you?”


Every time the speaker changes, it's a new paragraph.

Drawscore

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 3 (m/m)

Postby Jason Toddman » Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:40 pm

It's nice to see another Simon story after all this time. But he sure needs more training in his craft, doesn't he? :big:
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank Part 4 (m/m)

Postby Jason Toddman » Sat Sep 21, 2013 7:20 am

bondwriter wrote: The story went on, with Simon staked out on the ground, and having the three younger boys sit on him and tease him with taunts and various ordeals. This time, Simon almost went beyond a minute.
TBC

You must have been thinking of me when you wrote that one. That one would have been what I'd have considered the ideal situation if i were in Simon's place. I certainly wouldn't have lasted any better. :D
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Simon: A Nasty Prank - Complete (m/m)

Postby Jason Toddman » Sun Sep 29, 2013 6:50 am

Nice story, all in all. Fifth chapter seems a tad anti-climactic though. I was kind of expecting something more to happen; such as the lumberjack putting in another appearance and tying up and taking away Simon AND Wilhelm for his own amusement, or (though I considered it unlikely) that Simon would somehow turn the tables on Wilhelm.
Would've liked to have seen that gibbet cage in action too (Polly want a cracker? Then sing for your supper!)
Also would have liked to have seen more of what happened from the time Simon was first re-captured, rather than just concentrate on a single day after he's already been held captive several months with a brief overview of the preceding months. I'd have enjoyed a more detailed account of his captivity (if there is one I've missed it); but maybe another story could deal with that eventually.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...