(Ties Jake up, gags him, and shoves him out of sight in the closet).
Oh, Luuuuuuuuuciiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Just kidding, but you can't blame some of us for envying your situation just a little.
Looking forward to more sweet stories about you and your bestie.

Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...