The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:01 pm

--[[This is an idea I'd been toying with for a bit. I know I've had a hard time writing stuff people enjoy, but here goes.
Delo out. Also, in Lua the brackets I made are a long comment.]]--


My grandfather was always a bit different.
For my birthday, he'd give me his present, and every time I saw him after that, he'd give me an accessory, right up until I had it all.
He'd find carousel tokens in my ear.
He also had made a fortune in the stock market.
"Amber," he'd say.
"I am no different."
After he revised his will, he was...
Different from his usual different.
He told me how to be flexible, how to hunt, how to survive.
And for my 15th birthday, I recieved a pair of handcuffs from him.
And, following tradition, I soon had that pair, two others, some chains, and several padlocks.
He also gave me a strange wooden box.
Why he gave me these escape artist's tools, I did not know.
But soon, I could escape from anything.
No matter how I was restrained, I escaped.
I found these "Practices", as my grandfather said, to be quite enjoyable.
But the box... I could not see a use for it.

When my grandfather died, I stayed longer than anyone else.
I put a flower in his hands before, some more on the grave after.
But the day the box opened, everything changed.

When he died, I opened his box once more to put in my good word. But the box, I noticed, was shallower than the side.
I realized there was a secret compartment.
So I opened it.
And inside was my grandfather's missing will. I had found it.
I wish I hadn't.

The reading wasn't happening.
Instead, as the will said, there would be something different.
A contest was being held.
On the day, I was taken with my cousins (20 of us) to a huge college campus.As it was closed, it was the battleground.
"Hello, contestants."
"I am the referee. I'm going to read the will to you."
And so he began.
At his finish, the contest my grandfather had had in mind was clear:
I, his chosen contender, was up against everybody else. They had to find me and take me against my will to the ref. If I made it there on my own, I recieved the full inheritence. If they got me there, the person who got me got it. I could be taken from one captor by another. Also, violence rules were zero, and everyone but me had ether.
In other words, by the end of this, one of my cousins would be rich, and I'd likely be left bound and gagged as his trophy all day.
FML.
*/ There's part 1. I'm excited, this plot was fun to come up with. Tell me what you think!
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby Dreamingbound » Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:08 pm

Very nice.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:17 pm

A comment within minutes... a great sign! Thank all six of you for reading...
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby xtc » Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:12 am

Good start.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: The Inheritence

Postby hafnermg » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:46 pm

oooh i like where this is heading!

Re: The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:51 pm

OK. Part 2 is coming right up. Be patient while I write it.
I don't care.

The Inheritence, Part 2

Postby DMC13 » Tue Jul 16, 2013 1:25 pm

*/Ok, (in my new Javascript long comments) I'm doing a part 2! Yay! I'm not to keep you waiting, here is the next chapter. /*

I was not excited for the game to begin, but time passes.
And eventually, it did begin.

We all were at the center of the campus. I was taken to a random spot, and the rest of the contestants remained where they were. I was told to wait until the intercom announced that the games had begun. And soon enough, this was heard:
"*psch* Attention. You may begin. *psch*".
At the sound, I ran up the stairway to the first classroom floor. To make it fair, here was the knowledge and things we all had:
Everyone but me knew where the ref was. I didn't.
I knew where I was. They didn't.
I ran from classroom to classroom, hoping that the contest would be over shortly and I wouldn't have to endure being at the mercy of my cousins, who, I might have forgotten to mention, all hate me after an incident in grade 2 involving a lot of ex-lax. I'll admit it was funny, but that's not my point.
I had soon been through floors 1-3, but there were three more.
That's when my eyes caught Ryan and Hannah.
They, however, hadn't seen me, so I had stealth on my side.
Hiding in a classroom, I watched as they walked past me.
I ran out and ducked into the next classroom, but the ref was not there.
The floor continued this way.
"Hey!'
I turned around.
Hannah was running in my direction. Ryan had passed.
I ran for my life. Unfortunately I'm a terrible runner, but I managed to avoid the blockades put up by the referees.
"Come back! I want to help you!"
I didn't believe her.
I ran through the halls silently, but quickly. I had to get away, but without alerting anyone else.
I nearly ran right into an alliance of my cousins, but I yet again ducked into a trusty room.
Hannah ran by.
I was safe.
This was amplified when I saw that the room I had run into was one of the rooms with equipment stores in it.
(Now is the time to put on the song "Strange Times" by the black keys. It's really a good song for bits like this.)

"HEY!"
The entire group and Hannah (7 people) turned around. I was standing there, already bound in a pair of cuffs. Good for the taking.
"I'm done. Come and take me to the ref. I'm sick of running."
The alliance instantly disbanded and it became every man for himself. and I almost doubted my plan.
But I'm pretty good with plans.
By the time they were close, I had freed myself with my Chekov's Skill (Look it up) and ran.
"She's getting away!"
They followed, as I had wanted. Now, the hardest part...
I ran up to a certain hallway and jumped forward.
They followed, not performing my jump, also in my plan.
I jumped over the snare I had set, you see, and they did not.
Soon the patch of carpet beneath them, which was loose to begin with, lifted to reveal the rope net I had made and the group was soon suspended in the air. Resourcefulness was a skill of mine, too. Leaving them to free themselves, I continued my search for the referee. I had filled my backpack with supplies and before leaving, I had grabbed one of the bottles of ether from them. I was prepared.

By floor 5, things were looking good.
I was checking the classrooms dutifully, and I had a rhythm going. I checked every square inch.
There was a door that was shut, so I opened it hoping for the best.
I recieved a punch to the face.
"Ugh, god that hurt."
Looking up, I saw a face I had hoped I wouldn't run into.
Riley, the cousin who took things too seriously.
He wanted to win badly, I could tell, but I also realized he wanted revenge even more.
I was caught off guard. He had done some heavy thinking into this, as I seemed to know my routine.
Well, not much time was left to think of these things, as I for the first time experienced the odd sensation of being knocked out artificially.

This was part 2. I'm very sorry there's no real TUGs action yet, I'm trying to get the story in high gear first. The next chapter, though, seems like it will have plenty! Delo out.
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby Zandor » Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:18 pm

Im lovin it.
You are q immortal

Re: The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Tue Jul 16, 2013 6:30 pm

Thank you all for reading and sharing your feedback. I feel very good about myself now :)
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby Tugsfan » Sat Jul 20, 2013 5:44 pm

More please. Is a very good story
A very good roleplayer, waiting for play with you

Re: The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Sun Jul 21, 2013 4:28 pm

Thanks for the feedback, soon part 3 will (finally) be ready for the world.
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:01 pm

I am VERY EXTREMELY sorry I forgot to post this. I feel guilty.


"Hey, my grand prize is awake."
Indeed I was.
Coming to my senses, I began to recap on my predicament.
It was very bad, I concluded.
"It's nighttime now," Riley said in a quiet voice.
"Everyone else is asleep."
Having a look, I concluded that he intended to win while no one could stop him.
"Let's go see the referee," he said in a malicious tone.
"mmph."
Oh, did I mention I was tied to a swivel chair?
We quietly left the room where his small alliance slept.
Then he bolted down the hall with me.
I struggled, but Riley had known of my skills from his teammates and did an astonishing job.
And so I was dragged to the elevator.
"FYI, I'm still going to get my revenge for that. The money's ALL going into it. That's a LOT of money, Amber. All of it will go to making your life a living hell."
If I didn't have a scarf around my mouth, I would have said something I can't normally say to family.
The elevator stopped and we headed to the referee's room.
"Ok, just gonna-AIEEE!"
Without warning, Riley was caught in a snare made to get me that flung him into the highest ceiling in the building, and onto a net.
I was stuck, but watching my captor crash into the ceiling cheered me up.
"Ugh," Riley moaned.
"Mmph."
And so I waited.
Waited.
Riley also waited.
Waited.
And soon, the sun rose and I was sitting, tied to swivel chair, with a scarf in my mouth, and a slight need to pee.
It could wait, but I was bored.
Eventually, Hannah came over and saw me in my chair being helpless, and laughed.
I felt weird.
"Someone gave me a present," she remarked, approaching me.
That's when Riley literally jumped a story down to grab Hannah.
They were loud, and everyone soon ended up there, fighting for me.
Had it been for anything but revenge and monetary gain, I'd be happy.
I was pushed from place to place, but then someone pushed me really hard into an open room.
Inside was the ref.
Taking out my gag, he asked me who won.
Not seeing this, the others continued beating each other up.
"I think I win, right? No one came in with me..."
And so it was that I, the girl unable to move and helpless, won a huge sum of money.
And once the ref freed me, I announced this to all.
Several weere outraged. Some were fuming.
And Riley was being held back.
But I knew that I had made my point.
My name is Amber.
And I can't wait for my future practices.


There you go. Maybe this one will be sequeled? Who knows.
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby Tugsfan » Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:43 pm

Very good end, If you want continue it is a good story but now (if you want) make Amber revenge to Riley and Hannah
A very good roleplayer, waiting for play with you

Re: The Inheritence

Postby Mister Mistoffelees » Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:49 pm

Nice! Surprise endings are always fun!...
Welcome to Snowden! Enter at your own risk...

Re: The Inheritence

Postby xtc » Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:35 am

Well done for getting back to it.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: The Inheritence

Postby DMC13 » Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:12 pm

Announcing an early project I am working on!
Unfortunately for my fans out there (yeah, right), I'm not posting this on the board, but I am going to make it available on a site like Lulu.
I'm writing a book! A real, 200-something page book! Two, in fact.
One is a full-length Blueflame novel, with better writing and more story.
The other's a secret for now, but you'll love it.
I have toned down the bondage a bit in both (I'm going for a broader market) but they will certainly have a fair dose. More info soon.

Also, thank you to everybody who has commented on or even read one of my stories. You're the reason I'm still writing every day.
I don't care.

Re: The Inheritence

Postby hujikelmop » Mon Jan 06, 2014 7:44 am

Sounds great!