## The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Post by drawscore » Mon Dec 24, 2012 5:44 pm

Found on Facebook
The Gift That Lasts a Lifetime (and Longer)
Since the fruitcake tradition seems to be unstoppable, I've decided to replace my traditional fruitcake with a more durable version that can be re-gifted for decades. If you would care to join me in giving the gift that can go on forever and ever, you will need:
8 oz. candied fruit bits
1 railroad tie
1 wood saw
1 large rubber mallet
1 pair of safety goggles
Please wear your safety goggles, and if you are a child, please get adult assistance.
Now, using the wood saw, cut a one foot section from the middle of your railroad tie. The resulting block of wood should be about the size of a standard loaf of bread.
Next, take the fruit bits, and pound them in to the block of wood with the mallet. Spread the colors around evenly, or you might end up with an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to put some muscle behind the mallet.
(NOTE: Good fruit bits should be much harder than the railroad tie, so it is not likely that you will break anything.)
For best results, pre-treat the fruit bits by leaving them on top of your garage for a year.
Finally, wrap the finished product in plastic wrap, and give your loved ones the timeless and enduring gift of fruitcake.
Seasoned Greetings

### Re: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Post by xtc » Tue Dec 25, 2012 3:20 am

Plastic wrap? Typical American. How vulgar!
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!
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