## Alyssa and Olivia taken by surprise

Post by randomentity » Tue Aug 07, 2012 4:18 pm

Nice story! I like the morals lol. Huge improvement on your writing style! The punctuation and paragraphs are very helpful.
Now to make even better stories, more detail is never amiss! Such as more detailed conversational exchange between characters, a little information on the 'setting/environment', and a description of the character's looks, vague or in-depth at the author's whim. (Again, just to be helpfully constructive lol), but definitely, the improvements already are very good!