Childhood hang ups in your bondage life?

Postby mikeybound » Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:13 pm

I seem to have trouble enjoying the submissive role, but there've been trust and authority issues growing up. On one hand, I have very controlling parents, and had trouble holding on o friends, so it feels hard to let go like that. On the other hand, I love helping people and obtain pleasure from others happiness. Isn't that pretty submissive?
Could this just be issues I need to work through, or am I not naturally submissive?

Re: Childhood hang ups in your bondage life?

Postby drawscore » Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:17 pm

Don't worry about it. Enjoy life. If people want to accept you for who and what you are, fine. If they don't, they can go piss up a rope.

Drawscore

Re: Childhood hang ups in your bondage life?

Postby Jason Toddman » Fri Sep 13, 2013 10:28 am

The title made me think you were discussing something a tad more kinky, as in :bondage: .
Anyway, loving to help people and obtain pleasure from others happiness are NOT necessarily submissive qualities; just empathic ones. Mother Teresa liked to help other people and devoted her life to doing so; that doesn't mean she liked being tied up! :big:
Like anything else, submissiveness (and domination) is like sexual orientation; it's not an either-or kind of thing but a spectrum. Some people are more straight (or gay) than others, many are bi or at most only weakly prefer one or the other gender. Sub/dom preferences are equally shades of gray. However, chances are that if you have trouble enjoying the submissive role (at least, under *any* circumstances), then it's probably not for you. But you need to check reality; are there some circumstances where you would enjoy it more than in others? I myself would enjoy it only with certain people and under certain circumstances (I enjoyed being tied and dominated by my cousins; I would have hated it if tied by adult strangers). I enjoy TUGs, but definitely far from universally. Heck, that's perfectly normal.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Childhood hang ups in your bondage life?

Postby Canuck33 » Sat Sep 14, 2013 9:41 am

I think your upbringing might've had something to do with it. You always felt controlled by your parents, so now you're an adult (I'm assuming) and independent, giving up that freedom might not be the first thing on your mind. Funny, even though I also had a strict upbringing, I'm actually more submissive than dominant! (Less pressure if you mess up, i guess. Plus I just love the feeling of helplessness). Do you enjoy being a dom? You might want to think about it for a while (or not, sometimes just fantasy is better than the real thing).
Sorry I can't talk now, I'm a little tied up at the moment.