One Friday afternoon, our teacher said; “OK, you guys! As you probably know, you’re going on a fieldtrip. Alas, you are going without me. You’re going with a colleague of mine and as you know a couple of parents, so you’re in safe hands.†A murmur spread throughout the classroom. The thing is we have, without the slightest shadow of a doubt, what must be THE most boring teacher in the whole UNIVERSE! I’m not kidding; he was so boring some times, he could make a whole class fall sound asleep in 30 seconds flat! But let’s be fair; he really was interesting to listen to sometimes. But those times were very few and it was very far between them. So, as you probably gather by now, spending a whole week away from school, and more importantly from him, was nothing short of a miracle. Correction, two miracles, counting the trip itself as a bonus!
“That woke you up, didn’t it?†he said jokingly. “Now, the thing is, I’ve planned something special for two of you. Do I have any volunteers? Hand up, anyone?â€
We looked at each other. As no one else seemed to be willing to raise a hand, I did. To tell you the truth; I almost yanked the shoulder out of its socket, that’s how quickly I raised my hand. I was surprised to see another hand being raised almost as quickly as my. It was my best friends’ hand! “Now, why am I not surprised to see your hands up in the air?†He said with a rather endearing smile. (I think he actually fancies me! But don’t tell anyone, will you?)
“Very well, then! Come and see me after class, and I’ll tell you a bit more. OK, off you go; and remember, the bus leaves at 8am, with or without you! If you’re late, you’ll have to spend the week here in school with me!â€
When the rest of the class had left, he turned to us and said; “You don’t have to bother packing. Not even underwear. Just wear warm clothes when you arrive Monday morning. If I were you, I’d wear a jogging-suit, that isn’t too new and be prepared for a week with a whole other set of experiences, than the rest of the class! When you come back, I want a well-written report on what you have been doing. Is that understood? Furthermore, I want you both here at 7:45. No excuses!†He looked at us, intently.
“Yes sir,†we both said in unison, me almost saluting him. When we left the classroom, we were both mystified. Why the sudden change? We both shrugged and went home. There was no point in trying to figure that riddle out, so we agreed, we’d best leave it at that.
From this point on, I’ve copied my written report, which I left to our teacher a few days after our return to school. I’ve even included the teachers’ remarks:
As instructed, we wore jogging-suits, when we arrived at the schools parking lot at 7:45, Monday morning. (Colours? teacher) Mine was pink with red and white stripes and my friends was light blue. “There you are! Mr. A the teacher who was to accompany us said. “Come over here and turn around.†We did and he put a belt around each of our waists. He buckled them behind our backs and walked in front of us. “Put your hands at waist level,†he instructed. When we did, I noticed that there was a D-ring fastened to the belt. “I’m going to put you in these now,†he said as he clicked pair of handcuffs on our wrists, locking each set of cuffs to the D-ring on our belt. “There,†he said. “Now you two, get onboard, and sit down in the rear of the bus! You,†he pointed at me “by the right-hand window and you,†he pointed at my friendâ€by the left.â€
We climbed the few steps with some difficulty and made our way along the rows of seats towards the rear of the bus. When we got there, we sat down and prepared ourselves to scoot along the seat until we reached the window on either side of the bus. “Not so fast,†Mr. A said, “you forgot the second most important thing!†He held up two, rather large balls made of hard plastic. Through both of them were threaded two long leather bands. “Come on, open wide!†he said with a broad grin on his face. “Observe,†he said to me, as he pushed one of the balls into my friend’s mouth and knotted the two straps tightly behind the head. “Can you breathe all right?†the teacher asked. “Oueff,†my friend nodded with rather wide eyes.
“Now, now, that was far too noisy! We certainly can’t have that, now can we?†the teacher jokingly remarked, with a wink at me. With the a dexterity that rivalled that of the best of magicians, he produced a long strip of cloth and wound that several times around my friend’s head, knotting it off in the back, as well. When asked again, my friend only could produce the faintest of sounds and the teacher seemed pleased with the result. Now, it obviously was my turn. I soon realized that, even though the ball looked big and solid, you could quite easily get it all the way past the teeth. But, when the bands had been tied off in the back of my head, I somehow couldn’t close my mouth, no matter how hard I tried.
“I’ll let you in on a secret, shall I?†the teacher mused. “That ball actually HAVE got some give to it, you just can’t see it. Now come along! Get to your seats, before the others arrive.â€
We scooted along the seats to our places, just as the others’ started to turn up. There were a few, scattered remarks along the lines of “Now, what’ve you done?â€, but they abruptly died out when the substitute teacher told everybody to: “Please, shut the ... up, y’all!†We all looked at him with wide eyed amazement! He said; what?
“I know I’m not supposed to use that kind of language in school, but we’re not in school, are we? So I’ll use any kind of language I feel like. I’ll try to use proper language, but sooner or later, sumin’s gonna pop out, I bet will offend someone. That, I guarantee. I apologize beforehand, but you’re gonna have to live with it, from now on!
As for your two friends, back there. That’s what they agreed to Friday. They’re gonna be cuffed or tied up (or possibly both, I haven’t decided yet) the entire week. I will carry the keys with me at all times and if someone tries to tamper with any of the knots or locks, I will know. Then, that person will join those two for the rest of the week!
Enough of this, all ready! As they say at le Mans; ‘Driver; START YOUR ENGINE!’ †He pretended to wave a flag and the bus started with a roar. We were on our way. It wasn’t comfortable, but at least we were wedged against the window, so we couldn’t lose our balance.
Two hours’ later, he stopped the bus on a dirt track in the middle of no-where, or so it seemed. We were told to leave all our bags, get out of the bus and start walking. Mr A took me and my friend by our elbows (for guidance he said) and we started walking. It turned out to be a short walk; just over a small hill and we were there. The house where we were going to be staying for the coming week was a timber house of a nondescript colour. Inside were two large dormitory-style rooms where the boys’ (to the right) and the girls’ (to the left). In each of the rooms were six bunk-beds. There was also a smaller room for Mr. A. When the class got to the house, the others put their bags in the dormitories.