Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Thu Mar 24, 2016 5:18 pm

So, something sort of strange happened in school today. This is going to be a fairly long post, but bear with me. I was experiencing a ChexMix variety bag of emotions at the time.

We were in our last period of the day with a substitute, so of course we were all assigned busy work. As is standard of typical high schoolers, we decided to simply blow off the assignment, and spent the whole class talking.

Anyway, this one girl, who was friends with the other kids but an acquaintance to me, came over to our little group and joined us in conversation. She said that her and her boyfriend had recently broken up, prompting a slew of inquiries from the general party. I usually don't concern myself with relationships or gossip. Even though it may not be, it always seems so trivial in my mind. But when people asked what the problem with this guy was, she said something that caught my attention.

Now, I should say that we're a pretty open-minded bunch of kids. We've discussed politics, religion, and even pedophilia on one occasion (much like we did here that one time). It's a pretty tolerant and nonjudgmental environment, meaning that generally nothing is off the table for discussion. So when she started talking about personal aspects of their relationship in a hushed whisper, we just sort of ran with it.

I won't go into great detail, but basically there were multiple embarrassing incidents in the bedroom and this girl has a ton of ammunition against this guy if he ever pisses her off, although she doesn't seem like the type to do that. Also, no, I was not eavesdropping. She was addressing all of us in the group, including me.

Anyway, she went on to mention that her ex-boyfriend was into some pretty kinky stuff. My mind immediately went to bondage, but I wasn't going to volunteer that assumption. Well, as it turns out, that was exactly the case. She said that he was into blindfolds and "doing tie ups", as she put it. According to her, she was not terribly comfortable with the idea, but since they had been together for over a year she decided to try it out.

It apparently never escalated too anything extreme. He would try out different knots that he had learned from tutorials, and it never really went anywhere beyond than tying her hands behind her back during intimacy.

This was the level that they were moving at, but it apparently wasn't enough for this ex-boyfriend of hers. According to her, this guy was ,like, REALLY into bondage. He would text her pictures of bondage constantly, suggesting various positions and ties that they could try out, had an account for multiple bondage websites, and even tried to get her to sign up herself. He also had tons of bondage content downloaded on his computer, a majority of which was animated and "furry" content. I could see how this would be intimidating to a newbie.

Frankly, I was surprised that anybody would be so willing to divulge this personal information, but I was not about to put a stop to a conversation about bondage.

She didn't go into great detail, but it ultimately got to a point where it was too much for her to handle. She told him that she was not comfortable with the sort of stuff he wanted to do, and he accepted it and backed off. It wasn't what ended their relationship, but it was part of the problem.

It was at this time that I chimed in and said, "Well, everybody's got something that they're into. The important thing is that you don't try to force it onto somebody who's not comfortable with the idea." Everybody agreed, but I wasn't about to go into specifics or talk about the appeal of bondage. Lest I hint at my interest.

This might seem like a relatively mundane exchange, but this was the first real instance of bondage as a conversation piece that I've ever had in real life, so I considered it particularly noteworthy. It will also probably be the last time, considering that if would be strange to ask for follow up details past the original conversation.

I'm also not sure how I feel about her telling us all this. I mean, it really proves to you that fetishes are a real thing and that you never know what kind of stuff people are into. People usually keep that sort of thing private and this was the first time it was really displayed in a social setting. But if I was in his position I don't think I'd want my ex-girlfriend spilling the beans of all my secrets fetishes. Granted, she requested that this conversation stay between us, and we're a relatively trustworthy group of people I'd like to think, but still.

What do you guys think? Is it weird that she was telling us this (along with some other details that I won't list)? Is this sort of transparency in the company of trusted friends actually more normal than I'd think? Can the lack of shared interest in a fetish be a deal breaker in a relationship?
Last edited by SolidSnickerdoodle on Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby Jay Feely » Thu Mar 24, 2016 5:36 pm

no it's not.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Mar 24, 2016 6:46 pm

Is this high school? Then yeah it's a little strange he'd be so open about it to his girlfriend. Not strange she'd share it (this is high school).

He could be reading this conversation now. Hey Snicker maybe he'd want to try it out with you I mean you might go to the same school.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby Jay Feely » Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:44 pm

I told someone in my high school that I was into bondage and he bound me and tickled me after I told him and he was one year older than me. I was 16 and he was 17. This one sounds a bit secret though.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:26 pm

Scottstud94 wrote:Is this high school? Then yeah it's a little strange he'd be so open about it to his girlfriend. Not strange she'd share it (this is high school).

He could be reading this conversation now. Hey Snicker maybe he'd want to try it out with you I mean you might go to the same school.

I don't think it's that strange considering how long they'd been together. But then again I know nothing about high school relationships. Also, he does go to the same school as me, though I don't know him personally.

And who knows? Maybe he does have a account with this site. A while back simthj said that a psychologist even recommended this site for those with a bondage fetish.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby Nexus » Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:07 pm

I can definitely see the attraction to openly discussing this sort of thing, but if I were the guy I'd be incredibly bothered with her telling other people of my personal preferences, especially in a high school setting. Nowadays I almost want other people to know, and create an open dialogue. But as a teenage boy I was horribly shy about it and wanted NO ONE to know. Hell it was a tough enough subject to breach with girlfriends I trusted. If she really needed to talk to somebody, maybe one of her closest girlfriends would have been ok, but to tell a group of other high school students....yeah I would have been pissed to discover that had I been the guy.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby Indianjones » Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:43 pm

This was certainly interesting to ready about. I am not surprised about someone having a fetish for bondage around that time. I myself was conscious about my bondage fetish from around 14 years at least. However, I never really talked much about it. Sex was talked in school, but most of it was in an immature way and some of it was hushed. Living in a conservative society where sex is taboo, is not easy. I had a much better idea since 2005 when I got access to internet and started researching a bit into bondage and browsing forums like these.

I have since confided in two of my friends whom I trust with my bondage fetish and dont mind sharing personal info with. It is still hidden from my parents who have no conception of fetishes and are negatively predisposed to talking about such things. As for fetish being a deal breaker, I would agree it is. It may not seem like much, but if my partner didn't cooperate with me sexually it would really frustrate me and in the long run it would build up tensions which won't end well. Practically speaking, its much better to have a partner who would be in with your fetish than not.

Re: Bondage Discussion in Class

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Fri Mar 25, 2016 7:13 pm

Nexus wrote:I can definitely see the attraction to openly discussing this sort of thing, but if I were the guy I'd be incredibly bothered with her telling other people of my personal preferences, especially in a high school setting. Nowadays I almost want other people to know, and create an open dialogue. But as a teenage boy I was horribly shy about it and wanted NO ONE to know. Hell it was a tough enough subject to breach with girlfriends I trusted. If she really needed to talk to somebody, maybe one of her closest girlfriends would have been ok, but to tell a group of other high school students....yeah I would have been pissed to discover that had I been the guy.

I can DEFINITELY see where you're coming from. The idea of a more open-minded view of bondage, and a chance to discuss it in a social setting, much like we were doing, is a very attractive notion. It is the main reason that I joined this site over a year ago. To be able to discuss various aspects of bondage like it's just another Tuesday. Not so much in the sense of asking your mailman if he's ever done it, or anything like that. But to be able to talk about it in a non-judgmental, constructive conversation. That's what I want for bondage, and I experienced a small piece of that yesterday.

Just from what I know about these classmates that I sit with, I seriously doubt any one of them are going to go blabbing this guy's secrets to the school. And I know for a fact that I'm not going to say anything. After all, we bondage bros have to stick together.

But you have to realize that this girl did still tell of us this stuff. Even if they are broken up, it is my understanding that there's supposed to be some sort of sanctity in the bedroom that neither party should violate. Maybe I'm wrong considering how little I know about these sorts of things.

Nonetheless, this is the sort of thing that makes me afraid to reveal my interest in bondage, should I ever get a girlfriend/boyfriend one day. The fact that she was so quick to reveal these personal details, only after just starting the conversation about 5 minutes earlier, is deeply concerning to me. Do people have that little regard for someone else's privacy after a breakup?

Same goes for keeping my bisexuality a secret. My high school is a phenomenal school with a mostly tolerant student body. There is virtually no physical bullying and students look out for other students. If I was to reveal it to people, the most I would get in return would probably be an "Oh, okay. Cool." In fact, one of the kids in this discussion came out as gay about a year ago, and he's been received fine.

But even so, as anybody who is lesbian, gay, or bisexual knows, there is always that underlying fear. The fear that there will be those will will turn against you and shout profound insults, thereby lowering my self-esteem which is already hanging by a thread. So I wait.

But while I'm waiting, I also have this increasing desire to tell just one person. Somebody, anybody, even if we never talk about it again, just so I could have shared this piece of myself with someone else. I've said to myself before that if somebody ever straight out asks me, I would tell them the truth. And among that group of kids, who I knew were okay with this, I felt strangely comfortable and almost wanted to say something.

But if this girl is sitting here telling us about her boyfriend's fetishes, then how can I trust her to just keep it within the social circle? This is the type of stuff that wards me away from telling people. People are so quick to gossip, so quick to throw consideration for others out the window. And what if one day somebody that I tell decides to blab that personal detail, be it bondage or the fact that I also like men, to everybody?

Then what? Do I stand up, own it, and just see where it takes me? I don't know if I'm ready to face that yet. So I continue to wait, performing this balancing act of wanting to share these personal details with confidence and expanding upon them, but also lacking basic trust in people.

I guess when it comes right down to it, you just have to accept yourself and throw it to the wind. I have less than 3 months til graduation and I'm going to stay with my dad for the summer. This is a man, mind you, that is probably the most liberal, open-minded, you-do-you type of 52 year old I've ever met in my life. I honestly think he knows I'm gay or something, but it just letting me take my time. The way I see it, once I tell one person it will only be easier to tell others. And I imagine that it is much the same with having a secret interest in bondage. I'm not going to go making speeches about it publicly, but I'd like to be able to jump into a discussion about it with confidence.

Sorry that this kind of turned into an entry about myself, but when Nexus talked about not wanting people to know about his bondage fetish in high school, I guess identified with him and also expanded upon it. Plus I've never really talked about this in depth before. It's strange really. Spending this much time, jotting down my innermost thoughts and feeling on a message board to complete strangers, it's almost therapeutic. And you guys are the best counselors.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.