Beware of anger?

Postby Gemscot » Sat Nov 29, 2014 6:20 am

TUGs are safe and harmless games that bring people (whatever their relationships) together? They should be played for pleasure and fun, and NEVER done in anger?

I'm 25 now and my brother Paul is 18. I think he was 5 the first time I tied him up so I'd be 11. TUGs, swimming and karate are things we enjoy together, giving us a really close brother-sister relationship.

Much as we do love and care for each other, like any siblings, we've had our moments. One particular incident springs to mind and proves my point that TUGs should NEVER be done in anger. I was 16 and studying for my final exams at school and Paul was 9. Our parents were both working, so it was just the two of us at home this particular day. Paul was being a right ********** and really pushing my buttons - something he wouldn't do now. I snapped and frogmarched him into his room and forced him to sit on the floor with his back upright against the foot of his bed. He had a pair of metal toy handcuffs on his bed so I reach through the frame and cuffed his hands to the top of the frame to he couldn't lower them. I left him watching his TV for about 3 hours while I did my studies and then released him.

Putting the cuffs on in anger means I wasn't as careful as I would otherwise be and I fastened them VERY TIGHT - too tight! Leaving him cuffed too tight and unable to lower his hands for such a long time meant they were really digging into him and hurting him, and he was crying when I finally went back to him. Although there were no cuts or blood, he did have very deep red marks on his wrists where the cuffs had dug so cruelly into him.

Tying/chaining somebody up really tight and torture are safe harmless fun if done in a carefully controlled way and not in anger. Even though you might say Paul brought it on himself, what I did was outright sadistic cruelty - would you even say child abuse? I couldn't apologise enough and I'm ashamed of what I did, but being the wonderful person he is Paul (even at such a tender age) had the spirit to admit it was partly his fault and readily forgave me. In some ways, this incident has actually brought us even closer than we already were - if that's possible.

We still enjoy TUG even today, and we are now older and wiser so we know how they should and should not be done. As I write this positing, Paul is mummified (from the neck down) in silver insulation tape on the living room, and I am writing this posting on my netbook as I sit on him!

Gemma & Paul
:big: :big:

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby Paulscot » Sat Nov 29, 2014 6:47 am

As I am mummified and Gemma is sitting on me as we speak, I am dictating this message and Gemma is typing for me.

Please don't think badly of my sister - she is a really wonderful person who I love very much. I was being a ******** and Gemma was under stress at the time studying for final school exams. It did hurt, and I didn't enjoy being cuffed to the bed, but I brought on myself? Amy "blame" should be solely on me and not on Gemma?

What do others think?

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby Jason Toddman » Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:52 pm

*I* think I am envious of Paul - especially the Gem's sitting on him part. :big:
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby tony2 » Mon Dec 01, 2014 5:11 pm

Good advice Paul --- thanks for posting it. BTW, what did your folks do when they saw the red groves in your brother's wrists?
If you believe in yourself enough -
nobody else will figure out you're faking it.


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Re: Beware of anger?

Postby drawscore » Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:22 am

The standard I have gone by (and which I have posted several times in the past), is that if you are going to play TUG's, they have to be fun for all concerned, especially the one getting tied. Once it stops being fun, it becomes abuse, and that's never good.

Drawscore

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby tony2 » Tue Dec 02, 2014 1:31 pm

DS, I endorse that 100% and would add that that is the reason for the safeword to be used and respected. Otherwise all the grunting and mffing may be interpreted as just wanting more....
If you believe in yourself enough -
nobody else will figure out you're faking it.


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Re: Beware of anger?

Postby Jason Toddman » Tue Dec 02, 2014 1:59 pm

tony2 wrote:DS, I endorse that 100% and would add that that is the reason for the safeword to be used and respected. Otherwise all the grunting and mffing may be interpreted as just wanting more....

In my case, that was precisely how it was interpreted when I was a teenager.
And they were right. :quirk:
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby Gemscot » Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:10 am

To answer your question Tony2, my parents went ballistic at first and banned tie up games. Even at that young age, Paul already had a strong sense of loyalty to his family and insisted he was partly to blame. Once they cooled down our parents agreed, but set a rule that ropes hadn't to be put on too tight and the captive hadn't to be kept tied for more than 30 minutes.

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby tony2 » Sat Dec 06, 2014 1:30 pm

thanks GS. With some of the kids today though I can see the parents limiting it to no less than 30 hours instead !

Soooo, did you guys fudge a bit on the limits after that?
If you believe in yourself enough -
nobody else will figure out you're faking it.


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Talk is cheap viewtopic.php?f=78&t=21971

Re: Beware of anger?

Postby Paulscot » Sat Dec 06, 2014 1:40 pm

We are aware of the limits but..........