So, something sort of strange happened in school today. This is going to be a fairly long post, but bear with me. I was experiencing a ChexMix variety bag of emotions at the time.
We were in our last period of the day with a substitute, so of course we were all assigned busy work. As is standard of typical high schoolers, we decided to simply blow off the assignment, and spent the whole class talking.
Anyway, this one girl, who was friends with the other kids but an acquaintance to me, came over to our little group and joined us in conversation. She said that her and her boyfriend had recently broken up, prompting a slew of inquiries from the general party. I usually don't concern myself with relationships or gossip. Even though it may not be, it always seems so trivial in my mind. But when people asked what the problem with this guy was, she said something that caught my attention.
Now, I should say that we're a pretty open-minded bunch of kids. We've discussed politics, religion, and even pedophilia on one occasion (much like we did here that one time). It's a pretty tolerant and nonjudgmental environment, meaning that generally nothing is off the table for discussion. So when she started talking about personal aspects of their relationship in a hushed whisper, we just sort of ran with it.
I won't go into great detail, but basically there were multiple embarrassing incidents in the bedroom and this girl has a ton of ammunition against this guy if he ever pisses her off, although she doesn't seem like the type to do that. Also, no, I was not eavesdropping. She was addressing all of us in the group, including me.
Anyway, she went on to mention that her ex-boyfriend was into some pretty kinky stuff. My mind immediately went to bondage, but I wasn't going to volunteer that assumption. Well, as it turns out, that was exactly the case. She said that he was into blindfolds and "doing tie ups", as she put it. According to her, she was not terribly comfortable with the idea, but since they had been together for over a year she decided to try it out.
It apparently never escalated too anything extreme. He would try out different knots that he had learned from tutorials, and it never really went anywhere beyond than tying her hands behind her back during intimacy.
This was the level that they were moving at, but it apparently wasn't enough for this ex-boyfriend of hers. According to her, this guy was ,like, REALLY into bondage. He would text her pictures of bondage constantly, suggesting various positions and ties that they could try out, had an account for multiple bondage websites, and even tried to get her to sign up herself. He also had tons of bondage content downloaded on his computer, a majority of which was animated and "furry" content. I could see how this would be intimidating to a newbie.
Frankly, I was surprised that anybody would be so willing to divulge this personal information, but I was not about to put a stop to a conversation about bondage.
She didn't go into great detail, but it ultimately got to a point where it was too much for her to handle. She told him that she was not comfortable with the sort of stuff he wanted to do, and he accepted it and backed off. It wasn't what ended their relationship, but it was part of the problem.
It was at this time that I chimed in and said, "Well, everybody's got something that they're into. The important thing is that you don't try to force it onto somebody who's not comfortable with the idea." Everybody agreed, but I wasn't about to go into specifics or talk about the appeal of bondage. Lest I hint at my interest.
This might seem like a relatively mundane exchange, but this was the first real instance of bondage as a conversation piece that I've ever had in real life, so I considered it particularly noteworthy. It will also probably be the last time, considering that if would be strange to ask for follow up details past the original conversation.
I'm also not sure how I feel about her telling us all this. I mean, it really proves to you that fetishes are a real thing and that you never know what kind of stuff people are into. People usually keep that sort of thing private and this was the first time it was really displayed in a social setting. But if I was in his position I don't think I'd want my ex-girlfriend spilling the beans of all my secrets fetishes. Granted, she requested that this conversation stay between us, and we're a relatively trustworthy group of people I'd like to think, but still.
What do you guys think? Is it weird that she was telling us this (along with some other details that I won't list)? Is this sort of transparency in the company of trusted friends actually more normal than I'd think? Can the lack of shared interest in a fetish be a deal breaker in a relationship?