WATCH THE BIRDIE
A Collaboration With Jason Toddman
Myron's Guilty Secret
"Right," started Geoff, "you were invited to a sleepover and, as you can see, a lot of the guests are already in their night attire."
"You now have two minutes to get in the same state or I might be telling Mum something." continued Danny.
"Pleeeease."
"What was his name, now? Oh yes, I remember: Fluffy. Bloody awful name but that old lady really loved her cat, you know."
"It was an accident."
"Depends how you look at it. Now, how do you think Mum will look at it?"
Suddenly Danny found himself accused of having being born out of wedlock. He simply grinned and went, "Miaow, prrrrrr." and tipped his head to one side in what he assumed was an engaging manner whilst stroking the imaginary cat in his arms.
"You wouldn't"
"Try me."
The rejoinder started with 'c' and was quite a short word.
Danny still grinned and nodded his head towards Myron's bag. "Get your pyjamas. We'll start the two minutes again. Just to show how kind we are."
There was a momentary stasis while Myron weighed up his chances before he headed for his bag as his language deteriorated with every step. He quickly located his standard blue-and-white striped pyjamas; the type with a draw-cord waist.
"One minute - forty five."
"I'm going as fast as I can, you bastard." Myron then dropped his blue shorts and stripped off his yellow muscle-cut t-shirt. That's when he realised he'd treed himself. He was left in his trainers and socks and, other than that, just his black boxer-briefs with the white waist band.
"One minute - twenty."
Myron sat down and removed his trainers and socks. Jonny quickly picked up the socks, smiled at Myron and winked conspiratorially at him. Myron did not return the smile. There he was left in only his underpants. Would they let him keep them?
"Please don't make me strip in front of you."
It's not the first time I'll have seen you naked."
"Yes, but what about these other bastards?"
"I'd be careful what I was saying if I were you."
"Forty-five seconds."
"Ohhh, Shiiiit!"
Myron quickly put on his pj top and buttoned it up in an attempt to provide some concealment, grabbed the bottoms, turned to where he thought he could gain most privacy and dropped his underpants.
"Twenty-one seconds."
Myron frantically stepped into the striped pyjama trousers and tied the cord round his waist.
"Well done, titch, you made it." His big brother's ruffling his hair like that did nothing to improve Myron's demeanour.
"Your honour." offered Geoff, and Danny's grin matched even his own renowned, and often displayed, example.