## soul_rebel kidnap story

Post by Fesselfan » Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:49 am

Some feedback to the story...
well it's not easy for me. The basic story seems ok, the grammar and basic writing is allright, too. Which are both very important points to me.
However, it does not put a real image into my mind and leaves no impression at all. More a newspaper article than a story.
Hard to tell exactly what to improve...but I think this could need much more details, not just a paragraph of a story. What do the persons feel? What do scenes look like? Why do things happen (at least a hint to it)? These kind of things.
But please..don't get discouraged, there is potential. Just use it.
Cheers
FF
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.