Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Sun Jan 03, 2016 6:13 pm

To be clear, I'm not talking about keeping your interest in bondage a secret. I understand that fully. When I say say ashamed, I'm speaking more along the lines of self-hatred.

For example, was there ever a point where you thought to yourself "This is wrong. I shouldn't like this, but I do. There's something wrong with me." Did you ever come to terms with it? What helped you? How long did it take?

Or did you accept your interest right off the bat?

Lend me your musings!
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby Sniffmyfeet » Sun Jan 03, 2016 8:20 pm

Yes, I do recognise that feeling. I have a fetish for bondage, as well as for feet and footwear. Sometimes I think: how did I get myself into this? Why?

I mean, so many people would freak out just over the thought of being tied up and forced to lick and sniff another guy's shoes and feet. I, on the other hand, I would love it. I even lick and sniff my own sneakers for my Master and enjoy it!

At times I really feel like I'm some kind of weirdo, so I would appreciate to read how you deal with it.
bondage /'bɒndɪdʒ/ noun & verb. ME.
A The condition of being bound or tied; fig. subjection to authority, constraining force, or obligation. LME.
‣b
spec. Sadomasochism involving binding, handcuffing, etc. M20.

(SOED, 6th ed.)

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:10 pm

Sniffmyfeet wrote:Yes, I do recognise that feeling. I have a fetish for bondage, as well as for feet and footwear. Sometimes I think: how did I get myself into this? Why?

I mean, so many people would freak out just over the thought of being tied up and forced to lick and sniff another guy's shoes and feet. I, on the other hand, I would love it. I even lick and sniff my own sneakers for my Master and enjoy it!

At times I really feel like I'm some kind of weirdo, so I would appreciate to read how you deal with it.

Oddly enough, I was never really ashamed of my bondage fetish, and I think I owe that to the internet. At the same time we were learning about "why it gets hard" in elementary school, I was already Googling "girls tied up", so I found out pretty early on that there was a whole online community who shared my interests.

Take solace in the fact that you are not alone. That's what ultimately helped me. The fact that this forum even exists just proves that there are tons of people interested in bondage, and while I do not have the foot fetish that you have, I know for a fact there are plenty of people just like you. Perhaps you could have a similar experience by joining a chat room or online community that shares your specific interest.

The unfortunate truth is that society casts much judgment on alternative sexual interests like these, leaving many to hide their fetishes from the world. So, it seems to me that "feeling like a weirdo" is going to be inevitable at times. I still do sometimes. The important thing is that you don't let it get you down. Everyone's weird. :)

If this is not enough, and you find yourself needing to supplement your self-esteem, just remember this little piece of information. You did not choose to have this fetish. People cannot help what the are attracted to, and many people are into more... shall we say... interesting stuff than they would have you believe.

Hope that helps! :)
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby Sniffmyfeet » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:21 pm

Thanks SolidSnickerdoodle! :)

I really appreciate it that you took the time to write such an excellent response. I just need to accept that this is part of who I am and that I might as well enjoy it.
bondage /'bɒndɪdʒ/ noun & verb. ME.
A The condition of being bound or tied; fig. subjection to authority, constraining force, or obligation. LME.
‣b
spec. Sadomasochism involving binding, handcuffing, etc. M20.

(SOED, 6th ed.)

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby cellofello » Mon Jan 04, 2016 10:26 pm

A former girlfriend of mine once accused me of having had my sense of shame surgically removed at birth. :)

I'm quite a bit older than SolidSnickerdoodle - I grew up when the net was something used for fishing or tennis. The way I found out I wasn't the only one was when I was around 15 (but looked more like 12 or 13). I was wandering around downtown Chicago waiting for some repairs to be done on my instrument, and saw a bookstore. Being a bookworm, I went in. Let's just say this was not like any bookstore I had ever been in before. Why they didn't toss me out the door two seconds after I entered is still a mystery. Among the various items for sale, I saw a whole rack of magazines showing pictures of women bound and gagged. If they were selling them, clearly a pretty good number of people were buying them.

As I told someone else recently - simply being different is no reason to be ashamed. Being smarter, faster, and stronger are all looked on as good things. Some people like to jump out of airplanes or climb mountains. Only a small minority enjoy those things (probably far fewer than are into bondage). Yet nobody ever seems to wonder whether they should be ashamed about those things. So you like to use rope for something other than climbing mountains - so what?

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby Kauron » Mon Jan 04, 2016 11:52 pm

I never really felt ashamed of it or hated myself for it. My main concern was always feeling like I was the only one who liked this kinda thing. I coudln't really say why I never felt it was wrong or anything like that. For whatever reason it always just felt normal for me to have them so I never questioned it. Growing up I did live a bit too much inside my own head so maybe that's part of the reason.

Same as you SolidSnicker I felt better about it when I started finding people online, websites, photos and everything else that I felt much better about it cause I knew I wasn't so alone in it after all. A big thing that also made me much more confortable with it was to start telling a few people about it, specially when I had a relationship with someone and I was able to be open about it and they were very accepting of it. Maybe I was a bit lucky with that.

I think probably most people have some kinda kink or fetish or something, everyone is weird. Just that most hide it and some probably repress it for entire lives due to fears. I much rather be weird, accept and explore that. Better to be accepted by few than pretend I'm complelely average and "normal" to be accepted by many. It's just much more fun and interesting that way. To be honest even if I was given the chance to not have any of the fetishes I have I wouldn't take that chance, I've come to really like having them, I feel like it would be really boring to not have them.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby oZombiex5 » Tue Jan 05, 2016 12:49 am

I sometimes feel ashamed and other times I don't. As I've said before my Mum calls anyone like that a freak I've heard her say it so that has contributed to me feeling a shame. Before I discovered this website I often used to look at myself in the mirror and think I was just a freak who would grow up to be some sex offender. Luckily I stumbled on to this website and it has made me feel better since. They're heaps of people on here so that shows I'm not the only one that shares the same kink.

The only time I'm ever really ashamed is if I'm having a bad day and I do that thing where I start hating myself, however, this is rare. Like I said if it wasn't for this website I would likely be ashamed. The only thing I wish is that I was in a relationship where I could tell someone I trust about it and could talk to them about it.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby PetSilkenvixen » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:52 am

Oh yes, I had those feelings now and then. I even tried to give it up a few times. It's a huge part of me though, just like having green eyes is a part of me. One day I accepted it for what it was, a game I liked to play, I *loved* to play, and let it go at that. In the beginning I didn't even understand it, all I knew was that I liked the idea of women tied up, of being a woman tied up and gagged, and never understood what my body was doing when I climaxed until a few years later when I learned about sex and what that incredible feeling was I got when I struggled enough....
Christyne

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby putasockinit2 » Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:07 am

Tbh i would get rid of this love of bondage if i could but i cant. Sometimes i will go a while without writing, looking at pictures etc however it seems to be a bit of an addiction wnd i eventually end up falling off the wagon and returning. I have quite a busy life anyway but sleep deprivation is something i sort of just deal with on a daily basis to fit in updating my stories.

After all of this though, i appreciate the site and am glad its here as its enabled me to gain a platform to explore situations and interests related to bondage that i might otherwise have kept to myself. The people here on the whole are a great bunch and its like being a member of a secret club at times, giving you the buzz to visit and contribute. :)
'Too many friends and not enough true friends'
The Kanye of tugs ;) :lol:
Stuck between wanting to quit and wanting to stay...

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Wed Jan 06, 2016 2:26 am

PetSilkenvixen wrote:In the beginning I didn't even understand it, all I knew was that I liked the idea of women tied up, of being a woman tied up and gagged, and never understood what my body was doing when I climaxed until a few years later when I learned about sex and what that incredible feeling was I got when I struggled enough....

I'll try my best to keep this appropriate, but the first time I ever intentionally climaxed I thought I had peed myself. Then I wondered why it was all sticky, and, in my my infinite 8 year old wisdom, I thought I had AIDS or something. Thankfully, I didn't tell or ask anyone. The majority of my sexual education came from the internet.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby Nexus » Wed Jan 06, 2016 5:35 am

Yeah, I have feelings of shame. They come and go. Especially with my wife showing less and less enthusiasm with TUGs. Also, I have a mild case of sadism, so I sometimes hate the fact that it arouses me to physically torment people. That said, I guess I could have weirder fetishes. At least I'm not into scat play.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby 31acujoker » Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:53 pm

Yeah, I felt very ashamed, in fact I was pretty much guilt-tripped into feeling ashamed by my family the first time they caught me looking at bondage, I was 12. They treated me like I was sick in the head or something, my Mum couldn't understand why I liked the idea of "tying women up and hurting them". I didn't fully understand the term bondage at that point so I felt terrible and hated myself because every time I deleted all the bondage pics I'd downloaded off my phone, I'd get this great urge and always end up downloading them again. I had to become very good at keeping secrets, which I hate, and had to eventually pretend that I'd been "cured" or "got over it" just so the taunting and lectures and fights would stop, being young and ignorant of bondage I didn't know how to explain why I liked seeing girls (and guys ;) ) tied up.

Then I found this site, I realised bondage isn't such an uncommon thing, and now I truly feel like part of the community and have told many of my close friends about my fetish, and in fact this Christmas Eve that just went, I sat down with my Mum and told her I'm still into bondage, and I think largely due to this site, I was able to properly explain how bondage is a part of my life and that I have a gf who's into bondage, and she said she's ok with it and understands, and she'll support me :'D :'D

So thank you so much to all of you, you guys gave me the courage to show my Mum the real me :')
"A thing is not beautiful because it lasts"
- The Vision

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Wed Jan 06, 2016 1:38 pm

31acujoker wrote:Yeah, I felt very ashamed, in fact I was pretty much guilt-tripped into feeling ashamed by my family the first time they caught me looking at bondage, I was 12. They treated me like I was sick in the head or something, my Mum couldn't understand why I liked the idea of "tying women up and hurting them". I didn't fully understand the term bondage at that point so I felt terrible and hated myself because every time I deleted all the bondage pics I'd downloaded off my phone, I'd get this great urge and always end up downloading them again. I had to become very good at keeping secrets, which I hate, and had to eventually pretend that I'd been "cured" or "got over it" just so the taunting and lectures and fights would stop, being young and ignorant of bondage I didn't know how to explain why I liked seeing girls (and guys ;) ) tied up.

Then I found this site, I realised bondage isn't such an uncommon thing, and now I truly feel like part of the community and have told many of my close friends about my fetish, and in fact this Christmas Eve that just went, I sat down with my Mum and told her I'm still into bondage, and I think largely due to this site, I was able to properly explain how bondage is a part of my life and that I have a gf who's into bondage, and she said she's ok with it and understands, and she'll support me :'D :'D

So thank you so much to all of you, you guys gave me the courage to show my Mum the real me :')

Dang. I went from feeling really bad for you to wishing I was in your position. I can see how those circumstances would have created a prevailing sense of shame in you. I'm glad that you were able to come to terms with your interest in it, and that she took the news so well. Maybe when you explained it to her she realized that there was more to this thing than what's generally depicted (cough cough... Fifty Shades of Grey... cough cough). Anyway, I'm glad it worked out, and congratulations on finding a girlfriend who's also into it.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby 31acujoker » Wed Jan 06, 2016 1:43 pm

Haha yeah it's taken eight years but I'm finally happy about who I am in terms of bondage, and I owe it all to this site and my gf's (yeah I actually have two, think like a three-way relationship lol) who've helped me feel way more self-confident. So guys, if any of you feel ashamed about your fetishes, don't be, things can always get better :) :) :D
"A thing is not beautiful because it lasts"
- The Vision

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby Driverman » Wed Jan 06, 2016 2:26 pm

No, not once in my life have I ever felt ashamed of it. Of course, I have kept it to myself for the most part with a few exceptions, but there has never been a point that I felt any shame about it. It's who I am, how I am wired. So I don't have any long stories or anything, but my suggestion to anyone who is feeling that way, is own it. It's who you are, and there is no reason to feel shamed by what drives you. It's not something we have control over, it's how we are internally wired. Now, that doesn't mean you have to share it with everyone and go shout it from the rooftop that you love bondage, but never allow anyone to make you feel like you are wrong or bad for it. Be you. Don't be what others want you to be.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby Nexus » Thu Jan 07, 2016 7:39 am

31acujoker wrote:...my gf's (yeah I actually have two, think like a three-way relationship lol)...


Hot damn! Do you ever get to tie them both together? If so, my jealousy knows no bounds...pun not intended.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby freyjaceleste862 » Fri Jan 08, 2016 6:57 am

SolidSnickerdoodle wrote:To be clear, I'm not talking about keeping your interest in bondage a secret. I understand that fully. When I say say ashamed, I'm speaking more along the lines of self-hatred.

For example, was there ever a point where you thought to yourself "This is wrong. I shouldn't like this, but I do. There's something wrong with me." Did you ever come to terms with it? What helped you? How long did it take?

Or did you accept your interest right off the bat?

Lend me your musings!


no. not at all.
love cooking, panty/knicker gags, nappies, handicapped.

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby PetSilkenvixen » Sat Jan 09, 2016 12:04 pm

SolidSnickerdoodle wrote:
PetSilkenvixen wrote:In the beginning I didn't even understand it, all I knew was that I liked the idea of women tied up, of being a woman tied up and gagged, and never understood what my body was doing when I climaxed until a few years later when I learned about sex and what that incredible feeling was I got when I struggled enough....

I'll try my best to keep this appropriate, but the first time I ever intentionally climaxed I thought I had peed myself. Then I wondered why it was all sticky, and, in my my infinite 8 year old wisdom, I thought I had AIDS or something. Thankfully, I didn't tell or ask anyone. The majority of my sexual education came from the internet.


I thought the same thing, that I'd wet myself. Keep in mind whenever I played I wore pantyhose, and the first time I'd had my climax and also looked at the crotch, it had, well, a foamy look to it against the nylon. Never ever understood it until a few years later when I, being the late bloomer, finally began learning about sex.
Christyne

Re: Were you ever/are you ashamed of your bondage fetish?

Postby spd138 » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:16 pm

Not ashamed and no one should be. Fetishes are a good thing as long as no one is harmed or unwilling. It's just important to make sure you trust anyone yoy let in on your fetish