## My first lez tug

Post by Katie » Wed Jul 10, 2013 2:18 pm

This story is about my first tug with my girlfriend and myself.
It started as another day i got up and got ready for my day. I walked into the bathroom and started to undress and i seen my girlfriend in the mirror. She was looking to see what i was doing but i ignored it and got in the shower and started to wash and i finished got out and reached for my towel and it wasn't there i said i swear it was there when i got in and i called out to my girlfriend Olivia where is my towel i didn't here a response so i got out and wet to get one and i seen a blur and it was gone i called Olivia is that you i started to freak out and i felt someone behind me and grab my wrists and tie them together and say don't resist or else i was freaked out but did what i was told and walked into our room and told me to kneel and they put a hood over me with a gag and i struggled but was pushed back down and the person said i told you not to resist she tied my hands to my ankles and i struggled for a bit but couldn't get out and i heard the door open and then close and i fell over and i passed out from the anxiety but was woken up by a vibrator in my vagina and i sprang to life and tried to yell and move but couldn't i was scared and i felt a anal plug push in me and a dildo i jumped and moaned a bit and fell over.
tied_up_bitch_so_horny

### Re: My first lez tug

Post by Jason Toddman » Wed Jul 10, 2013 4:05 pm

Interesting topic, but frankly your writing style needs considerable work.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

### Re: My first lez tug

Post by Katie » Wed Jul 10, 2013 5:42 pm

thank you and can you give me some tip if you can i would appreciate it
tied_up_bitch_so_horny

### Re: My first lez tug

Post by Jason Toddman » Wed Jul 10, 2013 8:43 pm

Well, basically you need to write your story as if you enjoy writing it (which hopefully you do), rather than writing it like it was something you wanted to get out of the way as quickly as possible.
Your story reads like a book report that you forgot to start until an hour before it's due and rushed to complete in time for class. Any story that rushed is uninteresting to most people; especially when everything is in one paragraph. That's too little time to tell a good story. Tell your stories more slowly, and put in some details that are interesting and add to the story (as opposed to mere filler).
Worse than the one paragraph is that about 90% of it is in one Godawfully-long run-on sentence. You start with two reasonably sized sentences, and then the rest is just one long mishmosh that could have been divided into a dozen more sentences easily. No one wants to read sentences like that; that's worse than a story that's too brief! And Golly - did you stuff a lot into that sentence!
You could have told the story much better had you used several hundred more words (divided into a number of paragraphs as well as sentences) and told it in some detail - not as something you're speaking aloud and trying to get out all in one breath.
Other than that, your story is too brief to judge writing style or syntax (other than what I already mentioned). But at least you spelled everything right; which puts you one up on some other contributors I've seen at this site.
Hope that helps.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

### Re: My first lez tug

Post by Katie » Thu Jul 11, 2013 5:21 am

thank you and i will take my time writeing it sorry for it being every where and not being well put together
tied_up_bitch_so_horny

### Re: My first lez tug

Post by girl4boysub » Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:57 pm

Interesting story please write some more