The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby upinashes » Sun Mar 17, 2013 5:57 pm

After reading lots of stories and finding inspiration I'm finally ready to write my own. If you have any feedback, leave me a comment. I would love to hear your ideas and suggestions.

Setting:
Southern California, Midsummer.

Finally, the story. The first bit is just some exposition, so bear with me.

The beach was empty save for two boys, both wearing half wetsuits (the ones that go to mid-thigh and have short sleeves) sitting in the water on their surf boards. The first boy has the typical surfer style hair cut, his damp blond hair clinging to his head and tan skin glistening from the setting sun. He's average height, with a slim build from constant surfing and soccer. Most would say he is underweight for a 13 year old. His ash grey eyes scanned the water, trying to gauge a pattern in the mess of thrashing foam and spray. The second boy, also 13, has medium cut brown hair with matching eyes, and is taller and much more filled out compared to the blond haired boy, but not quite overweight.
"This is hopeless, I should just stick to football" exclaims Caden, the second boy.
"No, we both agreed we would help each other get better, you with surfing and me with football" replies Ash. "Now, when should you start to paddle?"
"I don't know, besides, it’s getting late. We should get back to my house before it gets dark." says Caden.
"Ok, but you are going to have to try it eventually." Ash replies with a smile on his face.

In answer, Caden paddles to shore and gathers his gear, with Ash doing the same. The sun is setting quickly, so both boys rush to get everything together and trek the mile and a half back to Caden's house. And what a house it was. Caden's family is the richest in the area. His father's a banker and makes a large sum of money. His mother's the CEO of a travel agency. Ash is not as well off. His father is deployed to Afghanistan and would not be back for 7 months, and his mother works two jobs and is rarely home. The large class gap didn't bother the boys though; they had been friends since kindergarten.

---

As they approached the house and unknown to both boys, two sets of eyes track their progress.
"I wasn't expecting the blond kid" says the first.
"We will have to take him too, I admit it’s an unfortunate setback, but we are not going to get a better chance to grab our mark. His parents will be leaving soon, that's when we make our move." replies a feminine voice.
"Ok, we'll stick to the plan then" he says as they slowly withdraw.

---

Caden pushes through the front door,
“Mom! Dad! We’re back” he calls, his voice echoing around the massive first floor.
His father emerged from the kitchen, dressed in a tux.
“Good, we were getting worried, you were gone a lot longer than we thought” he says. “How was the beach?”
“Fun, I might finally stand up on my board soon” replies Caden with a grin.

After Mr. Forester made sure the boys understood the rules, he and his wife left. They are going to be gone until tomorrow morning for a work party, leaving the boys home alone. However, under strict orders from Mrs. Forester both boys had to shower and change out of the wetsuits before doing anything. Ash takes the shower in the guest bedroom while Caden showers in his room. Ash takes a quick shower and changes into Adidas boxer briefs and a pair of black Adidas basketball shorts, no socks or shirt. Caden changes into Jockey boxer briefs, blue Nike basketball shorts and a black Nike t-shirt, no socks. the activity of choice is Xbox, and after a quick dinner both boys grab a controller and start up Halo 4. A furious battle ensues, and Caden claims victory.

"You may be the better surfer, but I always win in Halo 4" Caden exclaims triumphantly.
"That's because I don't have an Xbox" Ash replies angrily. Ash is competitive, and he hates losing to Caden. "Let's play again, this time pla--"

In the middle of his sentence Ash quickly jumps onto Caden, and both boys tumble to the floor. ((I know firsthand that all games turn into wrestling as a boy)) Caden tries to get ahold of Ash’s neck, but his hand slides off Ash’s bare chest. They tumble around, and somehow Ash comes out on top. However, Ash can’t stay on top for long. Caden slowly uses his mass to gain the advantage, and flips Ash around. After another brief tussle, Caden has the advantage. Caden now lies on top of Ash, his feet right in his face.
“Lick my feet and I’ll let you go” Caden says knowing he has the upper hand.
“No way, that’s gross!” Ash says, still desperately trying to escape.
After 5 minutes of struggle, Ash realizes he is not going to get out unless he licks Caden’s feet.
“Ok, ok Hold your feet still, I’ll lick them” says Ash in a dejected tone.
“No, now you have to lick them and suck my toes because I had to ask you twice” says Caden with that same evil grin on his face.
“Ok ok, hold still”. Ash says.
“No way, were doing this my way” says Caden.
Caden gets up and lies down on his bed, his feet hanging off the end. Ash gets on his knees and starts licking Caden’s soles and between his toes.
“Wow” says Caden “I just wanted you to do this because it seemed gross, but that actually feels pretty good”
“That’s great, how long do I have to do this for?” asks Ash, who is also secretly enjoying the experience.
“Um, you have to suck each toe for 30 seconds and lick my soles for 5 minutes.” Caden replies.
Ash does not reply, he sucks Caden’s left big toe for 30 seconds, then moves onto the next toe. After all 5 toes he starts licking
Caden's soft arch and the gap between toes. He finishes the left foot, and is almost done with the right when the doorbell rings.
“Who could that be?” says Caden
“Maybe your parents ordered us pizza” Ash says hopefully.
Both boys run to the front door to find a pizza guy waiting on the porch. Ash stands to the side while Caden answers the door.

As Caden opens the door, the man opens the pizza box and pulls out a dart gun. He shoots Caden in the arm. Ash, who can’t see what’s going on, sees his friend fall and quickly goes to the door, only to be shot with another dart in the thigh. With boys now unconscious on the floor, the man pulls out white nylon rope, and starts tying Caden. He crosses his ankle then ties them tight. When the ankles are secure, he loops rope around the boy’s knees, and tightens it off. He pulls the boys arms over his head, resting them on his back. Then he ties Caden’s wrists and elbows in the same method. He finishes by attaching the rope holding his ankles to the rope holding his wrists, creating a tight hogtie. After ball gagging and blindfolding the boy he carries him to a waiting plain white van. He returns and does the same to Ash. The man is not happy that he has to take two boys, so he tightens Ash’s bonds. After all, his instructions were to not harm the brown haired boy. He has no such restrictions for the blond.


Okay, this is part 1. I want to get this posted ASAP, so I can get some feedback. I will be reading through it and correcting mistakes as I see them. I have a general idea of what part 2 will consist of, but I would appreciate any suggestions or ideas regarding the plot or anything else. Thanks
Last edited by upinashes on Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby xtc » Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:33 am

Nice to read a new contributor. May I suggest getting more written than you intend to post as episode two? I find that, if I do that, I trap more of the typos and unclear constructions. I am also less likely to be trapped by not having plotted out the story, which I always do, usually in my head.

Personal opinion: I'd rather see the descriptions of the protagonists develop out of the narative but that's just me.

I look forward to yor next post. DON'T RUSH!

Wassail!
Xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby disneyfreak00 » Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:02 am

Nice story lot of attention to detail can't wait for part 2.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby kidnapplz » Tue Mar 19, 2013 6:01 pm

Oh man. Love it. I hope you use Ash as a barging chip. If Caden doesnt comply, then Ash is the barginging chip.
Really great story. Cant wait for part 2

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby upinashes » Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:54 pm

Thanks for your comments!

XTC: I like your way a lot better, I edited the story, the descriptions are now part of the story. Also, thanks for the writing advice!

Thanks disneyfreak, and kidnapplz. As for Ash being a bargaining chip, you will just have to wait and see.

Part two is in progress

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby Nicktie » Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:47 pm

I like this - always love a good kidnap story! Look forward to part deux

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby upinashes » Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:43 pm

Please be patient regarding tie ups. The majority will take place once the boys get to their destination.

Part 2

After Ash is bound, gagged, and blindfolded the man carries him to the van and dumps him next to Caden. He goes back to the house and cleans up, making sure not to leave a trace. He finds Caden's room and grabs extra sets of clothes, and throws them in a bag. Since Ash was staying for the weekend he had packed clothes in a bag that the man also grabs. The man makes sure both boys are bound tight before he closes and locks the back doors. Knowing he has plenty of time, he drives within the speed limit and doesn't violate any traffic laws. He knows the further away he travels the harder it will be to track him down.

After 2 hours on the road Caden begins to stir as the tranquilizer wears off. Caden wakes up, and memories come flooding back. Seeing a funny looking gun then falling toward the ground then nothing. Quickly realizing he's been kidnapped he tests his bonds to no avail, they are well tied. He hears the sound of a car engine and knows that they are driving. As he becomes more aware he feels bare skin on his arm, and realizes Ash is lying across him, still knocked out. His wrists are sore, as are his ankles, and he has an almost overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom. The driver notices the movements, and pulls off the road.
“I’m going to re-tie you and take off your blindfold and gag for the rest of the car ride” he says to Caden “They will go right back on if you yell or try to escape. I will also punish you if you attempt that. If you cooperate you will not be hurt, if you disobey me I will punish you. Your punishments will be in the form of spankings. These will not be the spankings you got as a little boy; these will hurt so I highly recommend you don’t disobey me. You will address me as sir, and speak only when spoken too. I’m going to pull your shorts and underwear down so you can pee out the back door. You might as well get used to this because I’m going to see you naked a lot. If you do anything stupid I’ll punish you.”
The man lifted Caden up by his armpits, opened the back door and pulled down his shorts and underwear and let the boy empty his bladder. When Caden finished the man replaced his underwear and shorts and sat him down again.
“Your friend will be out for a while; we didn’t have time to change the dose of the tranquilizer for a boy his size, so we had to use your dose on him. I have one more thing you need to understand. We came for you and only you. Your parents will pay a lot of money for you, and we intend to collect that. Your friend is worth nothing to me. We know his parents can’t pay for him, but we realized we can use him to keep you in line. So if you disobey me I will punish you, and then punish your friend twice as hard. Do you understand me?”
As the man was talking he undid Caden’s gag and blindfold, and untied the rope that created the hogtie, leaving Caden’s wrists, elbows, knees, and ankles tied. Now he could sit down with his back against the van wall. This eased the pain on Caden’s body and made him a lot more comfortable. He also did the same to Ash, but he left the gag in.
“Yes sir, I understand” replied Caden. He planned to obey everything the man said, he didn’t want to be spanked and make Ash suffer even more.

When Ash woke up 3 hours later they were still on the road. The man gave him the same speech, but instead of letting him pee out the back door he made him wet his pants. This let the boy know that the man did not care about keeping him comfortable. It was a chilling realization for Ash. He knew he had to get away, and he had to do it quick. However, he quickly realized that there was no way it was going to happen anytime soon. He had to bide his time and wait for a chance, because he knew the man would make a mistake eventually. Until then Ash would cooperate with this man.
As the hours passed both boys brains shut their body’s down from pure exhaustion. The white van drove steadily on.

---

Caden’s House
Caden’s parents walked in to a quiet house. As Ms. Forester went to change, Mr. Forester went to check on the boys. When he found all the rooms empty, and no sign of the boys in the house, and both boys cell phones in the kitchen he quickly called police. The local police quickly called the local FBI field office. A neighbor had seen a white van, and a partial license plate number. Nothing gets law enforcement moving faster than a kidnapping case, and within 2 hours of the first call, an amber alert was in effect for all of California, Oregon, Arizona, and Nevada. Border patrol also went on alert, checking plates on every white van. The local news picked up the story, and soon national news had the boys faces plastered on every television screen in the US. The hunt was on.

---

Both boys wake up as the van stops. The man gags Caden, and puts blindfolds on both boys. They are carried one at a time into separate rooms and then set down on cold tile. The man starts with Caden. He removes all the ropes, takes off the blindfold and gag, and removes Caden’s clothes. When the blindfold comes off, Caden can see he is an open shower stall with a shower head and toilet.
"Clean yourself up, when you’re done stand in the middle with your hands on your head” the man orders.
As Caden does this the man moves over to the shower Ash is in. Ash is also stripped naked and untied. He gets the same shower directions as Caden. The man waits for Ash to use the toilet and finish washing and drying. Once Ash is standing the man runs a wand over his naked body, scanning for any implants that could be used to track him. He also checks the boy’s ears, nose, mouth, and butt for any devices. Once he’s certain Ash is electronically and physically clean he gives the boy a pair of underwear and shorts he grabbed from the bag he took. Then he handcuffs his wrists and ankles and puts in another ball gag. Once the same process is complete for Caden, both boys are led through a maze of hallways and stairs into a large carpeted room. Ash is led under a ring mounted in the celling. The man attaches a rope to his handcuffs and loops it through the celling mount. Then he pulls the rope so that Ash has to stand on his tip toes. He finishes it off with a blindfold and ball gag. Caden is led to a section of the wall with two manacles spaced perfectly to fit a boy of Caden’s size. The pair of handcuffs on his wrist are removed, and each wrist is put in a manacle. He also gets a blindfold and ball gag.
“My Job is done,” the man says gruffly. “My partners will take over from here. If you have to pee, wet your pants.” With that said, the man leaves, and both boys wait to see what lies ahead.
Last edited by upinashes on Wed Apr 10, 2013 1:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby Zandor » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:39 pm

Dam. Moar.
You are q immortal

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby upinashes » Thu Apr 04, 2013 4:17 pm

I'm having some trouble writing the next part of the story. I'm not quite sure where to take it. I also have some question for the readers.

1) Do you want it pg-17 or not?
2) If yes, how hardcore?

Let me know where you want it to go.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby mikeybound » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:23 pm

They're 13! Defiantly not PG-17

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby Scottstud94 » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:29 pm

Yes pg-17

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby xtc » Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:28 am

See the problem with asking us which way to take the plot?
You must take things the way with which YOU are happiest.
I repeat the advice about plotting things before you start posting. I hate being right. (Who said,"Lying, smug git?")
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby tiedlad » Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:02 pm

I agree. You can't please everyone so just write it how you like it. Just bear in mind that you've already established the age of your characters so in my opinion not TOO hardcore. But I think I do speak for everyone when I say....please continue!

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby richardtiedup » Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:31 am

Nice Story. Keep going.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby upinashes » Sun Jun 02, 2013 9:05 pm

Sorry about the hiatus everyone. This section will be shorter, just want to get something posted ASAP, hope you enjoy part 3!

--23 Hours Later...Somewhere in the Arizona Desert--

Ash's shoulders had gone numb from supporting his weight for such a long period of time, and he was fitfully falling in and out of sleep. He had tried to hold his bladder for as long as possible to no avail, he finally had to pee after 4 hours, the second and third time he had to go he didn't even try to hold it. 23 hours in his body shut down from exhaustion and lack of water. Caden had it better off, he was comfortable, could sleep, and only had to pee twice. He was really thirsty, but he was able to manage.

After 23 hours of waiting the door finally opened. Caden heard heavy footsteps, a man for sure. The footsteps got closer and closer to him until his blindfold was pulled off. The sudden brightness hurt his eyes, and after they adjusted he could see Ash hanging limply from the ceiling. The man is bearded, a mess of brown hair lay atop his head. He had a t-shirt and cargo shorts on, with hiking boots. The man starts undoing the manacles, and once he frees Caden of the gag, he scoops him up and walks to a big tiled room with shower heads and a large uncovered drain in the middle. He sets Caden on the ground, and comes back about a minute later with Ash, whom he deposits on the floor none to gently. "Clean up, you have an hour" are the only words he utters. Caden rushes over to Ash, a little unsteady on his feet. Quickly realizing Ash needs water, he drags him closer to a shower head and quickly turns it on. The water is frigid, but Caden doesn't notice as he scoops water in to Ash's mouth. After about 3 minutes of this, the water heats up and Caden decides that's enough water for a couple minutes. With Ash taken care of for the moment, he strips out of his dirty shorts and underwear and rinses off. With a little difficulty, he manages to remove Ash's shorts and peels off his underwear, scooping water onto him. Caden has no difficulty moving Ash to a sitting position, leaning him against the wall. After 10 more minutes standing under the water, Ash starts to stir, then coughs violently for a short time. Caden rushes over and slaps him on the back a couple times until he hears Ash yell out "Stop it! That hurts!" Caden sits net to Ash and brings him up to speed.
"We have to find a way out" is Ash's first reply. "Let's search the room" Both boys get up and look for an exit, but other then some slightly open bared windows and the door they came in, there is no way out. Realizing they are stuck again, they decide to rinse off for a bit longer before using the drain in the middle of the room as a toilet. With that business out of the way they sit against the wall and talk about girls they want to go out with until the door opens.

Okay, next section will be longer, I promise. Leave a comment, what do you want to see the boys wear for the next section?

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby mikeybound » Mon Jun 03, 2013 6:11 am

Honestly, this latest bit is ruining things for me. Even if the kidnappers are reckless enough to leave their captives bound and gagged without food or water for 24 hours straight, they don't react to one of them being half dead. I assume they don't wanna add murder or manslaughter to their rap sheets?
I'm sorry if this sounds picky or offensive. What I say, I say in the name of quality.
P.S: How about wrestling singlets or wetsuits?

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby riplord » Mon Jun 03, 2013 6:36 am

Agree with mikebound about abandoning them for 24hrs, but I am sure you can take care of the issue in your next chapter. Good story so far! Keep on writing.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby Scottstud94 » Sat Jun 15, 2013 7:36 am

mikeybound wrote:Honestly, this latest bit is ruining things for me. Even if the kidnappers are reckless enough to leave their captives bound and gagged without food or water for 24 hours straight, they don't react to one of them being half dead. I assume they don't wanna add murder or manslaughter to their rap sheets?
I'm sorry if this sounds picky or offensive. What I say, I say in the name of quality.
P.S: How about wrestling singlets or wetsuits?



The "Storywrecker" back at it again ladies and gentlemen.

IT'S FICTIONAL MY GOD.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby kidnapplz » Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:44 am

will i love it, and cant wait to read more.
Keep up the good work.

Re: The Reason Why(kidnapping FM/mm)

Postby upinashes » Sun Jun 23, 2013 3:15 pm

The next part is almost done, adding in some last bits and proofreading.

Mikeybound, you completely missed the whole point of that section, and you know what they say about assumptions. I was hoping my meaning was fairly clear, but it appears not. The point is they don't care if they add murder to their rapsheet. The only thing they care about is money. You have to remember that Ash was not supposed to be there in the first place, so to them it does not matter what happens to him. And as scottstud said, it's all fiction.