Feedback

Postby AlexUSA » Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:42 am

I'm asking for feedback. I can see MANY people read my stories, but no one leaves feedback like they do on the other stories. Could someone tell me how I'm doing on my "The Nine Days" and how my "Dan Cookman" was?

Thanks!
I rite on a tabblit, so speling errurs will hap pin free quintly.

Re: Feedback

Postby Jason Toddman » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:30 am

I know the feeling, AlexUSA. I have several ongoing stories posted myself , and only some of them have been getting any feedback.
Lack of feedback can be discouraging sometimes, but I keep on anyway because I enjoy the writing for its own sake. If I did just for the feedback I might have given up a long time ago.
I gave your Nine Days stories only a cursory glance for now as I have to leave soon but read the Dan Cookman one. Not my particular cup of tea but that's just a matter of taste. It was well written and engaging. My own critique is a piddling one; your paragraphs are too large and should be broken up more. Other than that, it's fine. Maybe the ending is a bit of a cheat :mrgreen: , but it's fine.
One small problem with the Nine Days story is that you started with part three. That can be confusing for people if they do not know that parts 1 and 2 are in the same story thread in following installments. I suggest you re-title the main story to reflect this, and edit/add in a note at the beginning of your first note there explaining this and why you wrote it that way (something that still puzzles me to be honest with you :lol: ).
Didn't have time to get into that one in depth because of its length. Reminds me of Tom Ford's old childhood TUGs stories though so I may give it a read later on.
Especially, please don't be discouraged. You have a clear and engaging writing style. Unfortunately, a lot of people here just read the stories and never tell us writers a thing about what they liked or didn't like about our stories. It's a bummer but also a fact of life here sometimes. I assure you that (in your case at least) it has nothing to do with you or your stories.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Feedback

Postby Chris12 » Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:43 am

Yes, on one hand getting few comments isn't very encouraging to receive little comments but you can't really force the issue otherwise the comments you'll get will seem quite shallow. Or at least that's what I recognise in my own post if I force myself to comment on a story.

But like I said its not very encouraging, I understand. Personally I always thought I wouldn't mind getting few comments since I write for myself and that's technically true but, well if no one seems interested then it gives me the feeling i'm wasting my time writing it.

Re: Feedback

Postby ropedin » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:02 am

I'd like to say that the number of comments a story gets is not always relative to its quality, especially for long, relaxing stories like yours you're likely to end up with a bunch of shy, quiet readers who read it over a cup of tea instead of the loud, boisterous ones more action-packed stories bring. The latter are more likely to leave comments (though the quality of their posts may be lacking).

As for Nine Days, I think you've done an excellent job with the writing, in fact my only complaint would be that it's too drawn out. Between the beginning and end of the story a lot of it boils down to "so and so brings so and so in and ties them up" repeated several times. Given that you're only on day 3 of 9, I feel like you have plenty of story left that you don't need to worry about writing every little tie-up in detail and instead focusing on the most significant ones. But that's just my opinion, it's always good to take a detailed look over your work after you've written it and evaluate what you can do to improve later writings.

Re: Feedback

Postby drawscore » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:49 pm

I think many of the readers could be those that open the story, read the first couple of sentences or paragraphs, and, for one reason or another, do not find it interesting or to their liking, and back out without comment. I know I do it.

It shows up as 20-30 "reads," or even as many as 70, but feedback comments can be counted on both hands or less. It's discouraging, and often leaves the impression that there are a bunch of idiots, ungrateful for, and unappreciative of, your efforts, which results in an attitude of "why bother?" The reality is, that of all the hits, maybe 20% read the story from start to finish, and some of those hits are from people that liked it so much, they read it (or portions of it) twice or three times.

However, that "why bother?" attitude on the part of a writer, is difficult to overcome. Some do it; some don't.

And we all have our likes and dislikes. Too many sexual connotations; not enough women, etc. If it doesn't have what we want, the chances are, we'll see that by the end of the first paragraph, and dump out, usually without comment.

Drawscore

Re: Feedback

Postby Jason Toddman » Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:24 pm

I wonder; of those who commented here, who else besides me at least took the time to look at the stories?
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Feedback

Postby AlexUSA » Fri Oct 11, 2013 12:05 am

Well, good points shared all around. As far as things being too long, I try to give long, drawn out, intense detail to make it feel as if you the reader are living the experience. It's the details, color, clothing and its color, how the clothing is worn (in this case, shirts, blouses, shorts, pants, skirts, bandanas), how the person is tied. I don't really describe the house much because it's meaningless to describe a house without giving you a map of the layout, and even I don't have that.

The conversations are dragged on like real life conversations so as to give greater insight into the characters. Each child (and the father) is an individual and dynamic entity. A lot of the characteristics of the people are based on my own character traits or the traits of people I know, and a lot the aspects of how the story flows, like the sibling rivalries, the use of irony or an object lesson (in this case Dad ties up Anna to squish her pride) to teach the children, and the feelings of being picked on (Kate sulking, or Sara getting revenge), are reflective of aspects of childhood I NEVER HAD. I had an older sister and a MUCH older brother, and while we never did TUGs (because of my mother being a radical something or other), we also never had sibling rivalries and what not.

Life doesn't go fast. I make the story move slowly. It's not just about reading. I want you to live it out in your mind, and if this were real and you were the dad, you'd be worrying about that pile of spit-soaked socks and bandanas you had to wash too.

I'm a scientist in real life, and detail matters. Notice how I don't just say, "shirt and pants," but rather something like, "a Minnesota Vikings away jersey and blue jeans." I don't say, "Bandana on the head," but rather, "bandana worn like a headband with the knot positioned to be under the hair." Notice how I make observations, like how wearing a bandana like a headscarf plasters your hair down, making it hard wrap tape around someone's head; I don't make it in jest, but rather because it's an observation of the real world. Another one I make is how in a normal tie of the wrists, elbows, ankles, etc. some of the rope is run through the vertical, that is between the wrists or ankles, to make it more secure, and I point out how that doesn't work when the person wears a skirt.

So I admit to dragging it out, but I'm not looking for you to get a boner reading it either, though if any description of a tug gives you a boner like it does to me for whatever stupid reason, then fine, but understand I want you sit down for 1 hour and spend 1 day in the life of what would be an average Catholic family (with a nutty mathematics professor father) without one little difference, TUGs.

Thanks for the feedback, and now I know that in the future, no feedback can be the best feedback of all.
I rite on a tabblit, so speling errurs will hap pin free quintly.

Re: Feedback

Postby Jason Toddman » Fri Oct 11, 2013 7:17 am

Nice response, except maybe that last line. You wanted feedback, you got it. Don't kill the messenger! :geek:
But seriously, you should always write in the style that most pleases yourself; as you the only person you are gauranteed (more or less) to please anyway! I myself write stories in considerable detail for similar reasons - including my being a scientist. Despite what some cranks may think, that is NOT a deficiency! I definitely prefer those to the quick 500 word essays that try to tell about a complicated TUG! Ugh! I find those unreadable; they're too rushed.
You write well; don't let anyone or anything try to take that away from you.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Feedback

Postby AlexUSA » Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:31 pm

I meant that last line to mean that no feedback means that they can't criticize my story, which means it's not bad.
I rite on a tabblit, so speling errurs will hap pin free quintly.

Re: Feedback

Postby Jason Toddman » Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:39 pm

AlexUSA wrote:I meant that last line to mean that no feedback means that they can't criticize my story, which means it's not bad.

Oh. :lol: Sounded a whole lot more cynical to me initially. Oops.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Feedback

Postby xtc » Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:52 pm

AlexUSA wrote:I meant that last line to mean that no feedback means that they can't criticize my story, which means it's not bad.



OoooH! bad mistake!
What if the story or writing style is too poor for anyone to bother about?
I don't say that this applies to you necessarily, but how often do you see poorly written crap on this site that no one bothers to comment on?
Even if a story is well written, as Drawscore says, it might just not appeal to certain readers. That does not men there is anything wrong with it but neither does it mean that there is nothing wrong with it.

I suppose must be specific: you write perfectly well; you tell a coherent story. However - - -
- - - the sort of scientific account style simply doesn't appeal to me.

At the risk of hoisting myself on my own petard, there seems to be little variety between the various episodes. We are writing to a very narrow brief and it's not always easy to provide a variety of interest over a prolonged narrative (or even between stories). I look forward to your response once you have read several of my efforts.

Sorry, I've tried to keep out of this but that quote just couldn't be left to pass.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Feedback

Postby AlexUSA » Sun Oct 13, 2013 4:13 pm

Quite true, my fellow man. I shall look into your stories and see how your style works. Everyone has their own cup of tea, but perhaps you will change my tastes :P

I will look into my accounts after reading yours and see if I can somehow... liven things up. I am going to try to, if I can maintain this setting, have various stories and parts of individual stories focusing on individuals. I have three of the children, Rachel, John, and Eric, left to dissect, and I will try to see what I can to bring unique flavor to them.

Until then,
Alex
I rite on a tabblit, so speling errurs will hap pin free quintly.

Re: Feedback

Postby AlexUSA » Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:20 pm

Well, I checked out your stories. I can say that likewise your stories aren't my cup of tea, but I observed how you included more physical feelings associated with the narrator. In my stories case, I can't talk about how the ropes felt or how the tape may have been choking because the narrator isn't tied. The narrator only can feel as the children tell him their feelings.
I rite on a tabblit, so speling errurs will hap pin free quintly.