Beer

Postby drawscore » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:48 pm

Beer, beer, it's good for your heart!
The more you drink, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel,
So drink a beer with every meal!

Drawscore

Re: Beer

Postby sarobah » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:51 pm

In caelum cerevisiae est nullum.
Itaque hic bibemus illum.


In heaven there is no beer.
And so we drink it here.

(A year of undergraduate Latin has paid off.)
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

Re: Beer

Postby xtc » Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:00 am

Old joke from the 70's when a certain company (no longer around, I believe) was trying to get us to drink a product called "Starlite" (sic) which had an ABV of 2%:
Q. Why is drinking W****** beer like making love in a punt?
A. They're both ***king close to water.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Beer

Postby Nexus » Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:57 pm

When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was seventeen

Re: Beer

Postby KP Presents » Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:47 am

when I was a lad, there was a brand of Lager called Kestrel. Billy Connolly used to tell a joke about how with Kestrel, you shoudl just cut out the middle man an dpour it down the toilet...
Read stories of ordinary women in distress at http://www.kppresents.com

Re: Beer

Postby xtc » Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:06 pm

We always used to say that you cant take the piss out of W****** because there would be nothing left.

"Take the piss" = hold up to ridicule. Comes, it is said, from the days when barges used to convey said piss to the dye works.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Beer

Postby ebascoray » Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:11 pm

In response to sarobah: "In heaven there is no beer, That's why we drink it here. And when, we're gone from here, Our friends will be drinking all our beer". Hope that helps. Just completes it the way that I head it years ago!

Ebascoray

Re: Beer

Postby sarobah » Sat Feb 01, 2014 4:59 pm

Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.

Re: Beer

Postby OldTUGger » Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:54 pm

sarobah wrote:In caelum cerevisiae est nullum.
Itaque hic bibemus illum.


In heaven there is no beer.
And so we drink it here.



And here's how our state university's jazz band used to finish that song (in four-part harmony, at basketball games):

"In heaven there is no wine
But we think that's just fine,
Cause when we go to hell
Our friends will be drinking Muscatel."

Re: Beer

Postby xtc » Sun Feb 02, 2014 2:46 pm

OK, I've been a good boy until now but . . .

. . . . how can anybody form the land of XXXX possibly extol the beneficial qualities of beer?

Oops!
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Beer

Postby Jay Feely » Sun Feb 02, 2014 7:47 pm

Love beer though one time when I became drunk, woke up with sharpie drawings on me.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.

Re: Beer

Postby the other one » Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:17 pm

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage's,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, The bitter, The lager.
BARMEN.
“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.”


Bertrand Russell

Re: Beer

Postby NemesisPrime » Thu Feb 13, 2014 5:35 pm

I don't drink beer. Find it too bitter for my tastes so I drink dessert wine.
Everyone speaks in multiple languages...But gag talk is universal and a sock in your mouth is the perfect translator!

Re: Beer

Postby LordNelson » Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:14 pm

When I was ten years old our teacher asked us to write a poem about Christmas. I penned the following rhyme;

Christmas is the time of year
When Santa comes to drink your beer,
He eats your cookies one, two, three
And leaves cheap presents under the tree.

Needless to say my teacher wasn't too pleased. It didn't matter that she wasn't happy with me. I still had the hots for her because she wore the shortest skirts of any teacher I ever had and I still really wanted to tie her up. She lived just down the street from me and I walked to school with her in the morning many times so you can imagine the fantasies I had about her. But I digress, the topic was beer. It seems I've managed to say a lot for a non-drinker.

LordNelson