March 1, 1993
Dear Diary
My name is Lpita and I am ten years old. I was born in Mexico but now I live in Kenya.
Today is my birthday. This is my first diary and it was a gift from my mother. It was my second favorite gift. My father works for the government and most of the kids at my party were the children of people he works with. I hardly know them. I thought that they didn’t like me much but some of them gave me my favorite gift.
I have always wanted to be an actress and I am finally going to get my chance. Two of the boys at the party said that they want to be movie makers and that they would make me the star of their first movie. Abasi is eleven and Jina is thirteen.
March 3, 1993
Dear Diary
Abasi and Jina called me today. They are going to go to the embassy where their parents work after school tomorrow. There is a room there that they do their homework in. They want me to meet them there. My dad works there too.
March 4, 1993
Dear Diary
This morning I told mom that I needed a quiet place to do school work and told her about the room at the embassy. She said it would be okay. I didn’t tell her about the movie. I want it to be a surprise.
I met Abasi and Jina at the embassy. Abasi said he can get a video camera. Jina said he would come up with a story. He said he already had an idea but wouldn’t tell us what it was. All he told me was to practice looking scared.
March 6, 1993
Dear Diary
Jina says he has half of the story worked out. Abasi has the camera. I am going to play the part of a secretary at the embassy. I need to get clothes that make me look older. In the movies it’s called wardrobe. Abasi thinks I need a short skirt, a tight top and stockings. He says it’s what they all wear.
March 7, 1993
Dear Diary
The boys like my wardrobe. I found a button front white cotton blouse from last year’s school uniform. I am bigger now and it is very tight. The buttons might come off. I have my black pleated school skirt. I can fold it in half when I put it on and it is short but it looks a little lumpy. I don’t have stockings but Abasi says my white knee socks will do. Abasi says I need high heels. I don’t have any. Jina says he will go to a used clothing store and try to find a pair of hooker shoes that will fit me. I don’t know what hookers are but Abasi says they have nice shoes.
Tomorrow we have our first rehearsal.
March 8, 1993
Dear Diary
Jina is a producer and a director. Those are the titles he gave himself. He calls Abasi the camera man and I am the star. He says he is a good producer because he gets things done. I think he says that because he got permission for us to use an empty office for our set. Set is another movie word I learned today. He calls himself a director because he is going to tell Abasi and me what to do.
I went into the office first and put on my secretary outfit. I had my tight white blouse. Abasi got me a different skirt. It is his older sister’s skirt. It is black and shiny. She is really skinny and it fits me but it is very short. I have a pair of white socks that will stretch up over my knees when I pull hard on them. Abasi likes them.
Jina found a pair of shoes at the used clothing store. They are red sandals like movie stars wear to parties. They have high heels. I can hardly walk in them but the boys say that is okay because I won’t be doing much walking.
When I was ready Abasi came in with a camera and a tripod and Jina had a bag with their costumes. In this scene (another movie word) the boys are terrorists that attack the embassy and take me hostage.
Abasi set up the camera. Then they put on black masks and picked up toy guns. They peeked out into the hallway. When it was clear Abasi started the camera and they went into the hall. I pretended to do secretary work.
They came back through the door and aimed their guns at me. I pretended to scream. I couldn’t really scream or people would hear it. I put my hands up. They rushed over and pulled my chair away from the desk.
Jina had a bag. It had ropes in it. He dumped it onto the desk. There were a lot of ropes. I could tell they had rehearsed because they acted fast. They each tied a wrist to the arms of the chair. Then Jina tied a rope around my chest and arms and the back of the chair. It was tight.
Then Jina gagged me while Abasi tied my ankles together. Jina stuffed a white sock into my mouth and then used a red strip of cloth to tie it in. I didn’t like that too much but they both said it had to be done.
After Abasi tied my ankles he tied my knees too. I don’t know why because I was already tied really good. I couldn’t ask why because I was gagged.
Then Jina put a rope from the back of the chair to my ankles and pulled my feet up off the floor.
Abasi took the camera off of the tripod and walked around me. Then he made close-ups.
Rehearsal must have gone well because both boys were very excited.
They untied me and packed everything up. They said that they had to go and rushed off. I changed back into my school uniform and stuffed my costume into my school bag. The shoes barely fit into the bag with my books. I like those shoes.
March 9, 1993
Dear Diary
The boys didn’t show up today. I put on my costume anyways and practiced being a secretary.
March 10, 1993
Dear Diary
Abasi came looking for me during lunch at school today. He asked if we could rehearse again today. I am hiding my costume in my locker at school so my mom doesn’t find it. I said I would be there.
When I arrived the camera was already set up. Jina explained to me about alternate scenes. It’s when you have different scenes and pick the best one. He didn’t explain what would be different. He just said act scared and surprised.
This time they pulled me out of the chair and pushed me face down onto the desk. Abasi held my arms behind my back while Jina tied my wrists and then my elbows. They picked me up and put me face down on top of the desk. Abasi tied my ankles and knees again like he did the last time while Jina gagged me.
Then Jina took another rope and put it from my hands to my feet. When he pulled on it he pulled my legs up. I could feel the high heels touch my hands. My arms and back hurt. It hurt so much I made noise. Jina said to keep it up. It sounded good he said.
I made lots of noise. Abasi took lots of video. Again they rushed off after untying me.
March 11, 1993
Dear Diary
We met today for one more scene. I am anxious to shot the rest of the movie but Jina says that this an important scene and we must get it right.
This time they put me on my back on the top of the desk. Each of my wrists and ankles had a rope that went down to the legs of the desk. I was stretched out. Jina had a big piece of grey tape to gag me this time.
Jina asked me to struggle. He asked me to moan like I did yesterday. I wasn’t in pain this time but I moaned anyways. A good actress always listens to the director.
I was tied up longer this time than before. I hope that means I did a good job. I struggled and moaned as best as I could.
Something odd happened today. I think Abasi shot some video up my skirt. I’m not sure but he was at that end of the desk a long time. Maybe he did it the other times too and I didn’t notice.
When they untied me Jina said that he would be busy for a few days and he would let Abasi and me know later when we would rehearse again.
March 14, 1993
Dear Diary
It has been three days and there is no word from Jina. Abasi makes excuses when I try to talk to him. I think maybe this movie is not working out. I am enjoying acting and maybe I will have to find somewhere else to do it.
March 15, 1993
Dear Diary
At school I found Abasi at lunch. He had a note from Jina. At first he didn’t want to show it to me but then he did. Jina wanted us to meet him at his house on our next day off of school. He had a scene he wanted to shoot there.
March 17, 1993
Dear Diary
I told my mom a lie. I told her I was going to a friend’s house to do homework. I had my costume in my school bag and I went to Jina’s house. When I got there Abasi was already there. The camera was set up in Jina’s parent’s bedroom.
Jina explained the new scene. The secretary had been taken hostage. The terrorists took her from the embassy to their hide-out. In the scene one of the terrorists brings her into the room where they are going to hold her prisoner and ties her up again.
I had no lines to say. All I had to do was try to get away and beg to be let go.
When it was time to put on my costume Jina asked if he could watch. I said no. They left the room and I changed.
For the scene I was outside the bedroom with Jina and Abasi was in the room with the camera. Jina told him it was important to catch all the action and get some close-ups. When Abasi was ready he called out “Action”. It was neat to hear that.
Suddenly Jina grabbed me by the arms from behind and pushed me into the room. He was very rough. He pushed me too fast and I could hardly stand up. The high heels are hard to walk in. He shoved me onto the bed. He put me on my back. He tied rope from my wrists to the bedposts. Then he used tape again to gag me.
He grabbed my ankles and pulled me down the bed until my arms ached. Then he tied my ankles to the bedposts. It hurt.
Then he came over to the head of the bed again. He touched my hair. He touched my face. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. He was looking at me funny.
Abasi said “Cut”. Jina got angry and said ‘Why did you stop?’ Abasi waved his hand for Jina to come to him. They spoke in whispers. Jina was very mad. He made a fist. Abasi stood up to him. Abasi is younger but he is bigger. I think he scared Jina.
Jina left the room and shouted ‘Get out!’
Abasi untied me and packed up his gear. We left. I don’t know what they argued about but I think they had what I heard is called “creative differences”. Maybe the movie is not going to happen.
March 18, 1993
Dear Diary
Abasi came looking for me at lunch. He said he was not going to be Jina’s friend anymore. He told me that if Jina asked me to do more scenes to say no. I guess our movie is over.
It was fun but it was hard work too but I still like acting and I want to do it more.
March 2, 2014
Dear Diary
It is exactly 21 years and one day since I made my first entry in my diary. On my tenth birthday I said I wanted to be an actress. I am not that naïve and excited young girl anymore. Looking back on my first attempt at acting is a scary thing to do. I made mistakes and trusted strangers. Fortunately at the time I did not know what was happening so it didn’t discourage me. It wasn’t until years later that I figured it out.
Thankfully by then I was well on my way towards my chosen career. Tonight I have won an Oscar.