Nightmare

Postby jkingx » Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:43 pm

This story is about a young rapper how's girlfriend is kidnapped. So one day John(rapper/main cahrecter wearing bark blue jeans and a gunie T and white globe skate shoes) and sara(John's girlfriend wearing light blue tight jeans and a tight Tube Top and sandals) went out with John's friends Eminem, 50 cent, and Dr Dre(there girls came two) while they were eating one of there fans came up and asked for their autographs they sighned it no problem then he started talking about one of there joint abulms and things and they were getting a little annoyed so they sayed hey we can talk later he said ok and walked away. So they left and told him to meet them at a local bar John made a excuse to leave early and the kid(Jake) go mad and sayed he would have revenge John got home and heard mphs from his bedroom he went in there was his girl friend he pulled out his gat untied her asked herwho did it she said me so they had fun that night. He unried her legs and brought her down to the pool and tied her to a raft :tied: then he jumped in. later he untied her agian and tied her to a chair in the dining room :bound: and all she did was say stop im getting tired and a bunch of other stuff he said thats it he grabed his bandanna out of his pocket and tied a knote in it and gagged her :gag: after he finished micro waving them some dinner he un gagged her and feed her then he untied her and they went to bed. Then Eminem called him and said yo man we got some trouble buy the club we need help bring your gat in case you run into trouble but we got a sub machine for you he threw on a pair of jeans and a gunie T but before he left he told Sarah to lock the doors that Jake was looking for revenge ans she could be it. She said yea yea yea and when he left she went to sleep then she heard a creek like someone was walking in the dining room but when it stoped she just went back to bed then she woke up to a cloth on her face she fought but fell asleep and Jake picked her up and through her in his car and left.

Postby Fesselfan » Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:17 pm

new nice idea, but for heaven's sake, could you please care a little more about your spelling? It's sometimes hard for me to figure out what you meant.
Use an auto correcting word processor or browser... that helps me a lot ;)
There are 10 kind of people in the world.
Those who understand binary numeral system, and those who don't.

Postby ReaderG » Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:47 pm

ff makes a good point but some paragraph breaks would also help. Remember that not everyone reading this forum has English as his/her first language.
Gerry