A few years ago a Hollywood movie popularized the idea of a “Bucket List.” This is a list of things you would like to do before you die. I did not see the movie so I did not immediately give it any thought but recently I reconsidered it and made one.
My wishes fell into two categories; possible ones and impossible ones. For instance tying up all five Spice Girls at one time was most likely impossible. Tying up the pretty cashier at the local grocery was on the possible list. When I was done categorizing all my wishes I had one left over. There were two problems with it. I didn’t know if it was possible or not but it was definitely very unlikely. I had to concede that due to circumstances beyond my control I was never going to get to try it and so I put it on the impossible list.
That was all changed by a visit to Dairy Queen. As I ate my sundae there was a loud crack followed by a sharp pain in one of my molars. Somehow I had gotten a cherry that hadn’t been pitted. A quick trip to my dentist confirmed a cracked tooth. Previous dental work and some new decay condemned the tooth, it had to come out. The dentist was puzzled when I seemed to be pleased rather than disappointed. As I left the office with the tooth in my pocket I was mentally moving the troublesome wish to the possible list. Tonight I was going to try to tie up the tooth fairy.
I had a theory that the tooth fairy could move about unseen and pass through solid walls because she was in another dimension. Once she was in the room she would crossover to our dimension in order to get the tooth. Then when it was in her possession she could go back and it would go with her. It was my belief that if I could surprise her and tie her up before she could escape the bonds would go with her just as the tooth did. This meant that even if she escaped to the other side she would still be tied up. Knowing this she would have to stay until I released her. It was a bit farfetched but worth a try.
That night all was in place. The tooth was under my pillow and a few more pillows under the blankets made it look like I was in bed. I had all my gear ready. The whole plan relied on speed, stealth and a nifty strap I had found at work. In the warehouse our materials are secured with black nylon straps about an inch wide. These straps are very strong and have a special buckle at one end. When you pass the loose end through the buckle you can pull it tight and the buckle prevents it from loosening. It’s like a giant zip tie. I had borrowed a six foot strap waiting for the right time to try it out. If I could drop it over her and pull it tight before she could disappear she would have to stay.
I waited in my closet with the door open just a crack. The strap was ready in my hands. All was quiet. Then; even though the window was closed; the curtains rustled as if there was a slight breeze. A faint shimmer of light filled the room and she appeared beside the bed. If I moved now she would see me, I had to wait until her back was completely turned.
She was beautiful and taller than I expected. Golden blond hair tumbled over her bare shoulders. Her pale blue dress seemed to twinkle. The dress was quite short and showed every inch of her bare pale legs. The fabric did not have a single wrinkle or crease and flowed over her body like a second skin. I did not expect a fairy to show any cleavage but the front had a deep V that ended with a sparkling jewel nestled between her beautiful breasts.
As she turned to reach under the pillow I made my move. It went perfectly. I dropped the loop over her and pulled it tight. I trapped her arms against her sides and pinned her wings to her back. She turned to look at me and then disappeared. The strap was gone with her so it looked like I was half right but she didn’t stay so it was a failed experiment.
Then the shimmer filled the room again and she was back; still bound. ‘Why have you done this to me?’ she asked. ‘I wanted to see if I could capture a fairy’ I replied. ‘And then what will you do with me?’ she said. ‘Nothing, that’s it, just to capture you to see if I can and then release you.’ ‘You have me. Now will you release me?’ ‘Not yet’ I answered ‘the capture is not complete. If you would allow me to finish then you can be on your way.’ ‘Do what you must’ she said ‘I have many more visits to make tonight.’
She was amazingly cooperative as I completed the capture. When I loosened the strap to move her arms she could have resisted but she allowed me to tie her hands behind her. I then tied her elbows back. I seated her on the side of my bed and tied her ankles and then above the knee. All throughout the procedure she had an amused look on her face and a sparkle in her eye. I stood back to look at my captive. She was an incredible looking woman who looked even more fantastic tied up. Pulling her arms back by tying her elbows had unbelievably made her perfect breasts look even better.
I had one last thing to do. When I popped the ball gag into her mouth, just for a split second, the amused look disappeared and the sparkle in her eye faded. I tightened the strap and apologized. ‘It’s all part of the package’ I explained ‘it wouldn’t be a complete job without it, sorry.’
For many years people who study the supernatural have debated about whether fairies could be photographed. I took a few pictures and found out that they could. Then I started to untie her. When all that was left was her wrists, I gave her a hug before she could disappear and thanked her for being so understanding. I untied her hands.
She didn’t leave. She hugged me back and said ‘I am not the kind of fairy who grants wishes. When I do my magic I am not there in the morning to see the happy faces of those I have visited. That I could be here to see a wish of yours come true has given me pleasure.’
Then she added ‘you know that I can return and delete those pictures as easily as I take teeth.’ I assured her that photographing fairies would remain a mystery to the world. The only one who needed proof was me and no one else would ever see them.
She smiled and began to fade. I found out then that fairies have a sense of humor. She had obviously noticed the attention that I had given her breasts. When all the rest of her was gone her breasts remained shimmering for a moment and then they too disappeared.
I left the ropes on the floor to clean up in the morning and crawled into bed. As I reran the evening’s events in my mind a thought occurred to me. I slipped my hand under the pillow. The tooth was gone but there was no money.
I guess is should have expected that.