So, I'm new here and I want to see what people think of this story I came up with. If you all could provide some constructive criticism, I'd much appreciate it.
I was working late on a Friday night at Quick Check. We were open twenty-four hours, and my shifted lasted until four in the morning. It wasn’t even midnight yet. Most people didn’t come in that late, so I was completely bored. I decided to pick up the nearest tabloid. I snickered at the latest pictures of stars without make-up.
I started flipping through the pages and snickered some more. Then the bell rang and I put the magazine back on the rack and turned to the customer.
“Hi, anything I can do for you?” I asked.
The man came up to the counter. He was huge. He was at least half a foot taller than me. He had a ring between his nostrils. I gulped as he walked to the counter. “Are you Jared Larkin?”
I took a deep breath. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. Was it best to lie or tell the truth?
“It would be best to tell the truth, Jared. It will make things a lot easier.”
“Yes, I am Jared Larkin.”
“You know why I’m here, don’t you?”
I gulped. “I do know. What are you going to do to me?”
“Look, all I need is information. You can tell me now, or you can tell me after I’ve beaten the crap out of you. Which would you rather?”
“What information do you need?”
The guy snorted. “You should already know.”
My body convulsed. It would be best to find a way to kill myself. That was the only way to save my dad. He had told me too much, and now my knowledge would get him killed.
“You know who I am, right?” asked the guy.
“You’re Jack freaking Craig, the guy who feels no pain.”
“You’re right. But I do feel pain, just not a lot. So don’t try anything. It won’t work.”
Jack Craig had subjected himself to all sorts of self-mutilation in order to feel as little pain as possible. He was also a sick, sick man. He had a personal vendetta against anyone who was not a white male. I am a white male, but I had the misfortune of having a dad who was trying to form a group to stop Jack from his sick crap, and I knew about it. Jack had many people who worked for him, some who agreed with him, some who just worked because they needed money, and some who were forced to work for him. My dad’s best friend had been forced to work for him, but my dad said he would find a way to stop the madness, but he wouldn’t let him know anything, in case he was tortured into saying something. But he told me, because he thought no one would ever know. I knew one name: Skylar Fierce. She was heading the team. That’s all I knew. And not only would my dad die because of me, so would she.
“I’m not going to tell you crap,” I said.
“So I take it we’re doing this the hard way.” He punched me in the face. The man must have been at least six foot four and three hundred pounds. I was five foot six and only one hundred pounds. At nineteen years old, it was super embarrassing to be this short and skinny, and I hated it. And now I hated it even more, because with one punch, I was out.
I woke up handcuffed to a metal pipe over my head. I was in some kind of basement. I had tape over my mouth. Jack was sitting at a table, reading the same tabloid I had been looking at earlier. He looked at me and smiled. “Oh good, you’re awake. He came up to me and ripped the tape off my mouth.
“I’m not telling you anything,” I said again.
Jack cocked his head and hit me in the stomach. I started gasping for air. He then grabbed a knife and held it in front of my face. “If you don’t tell me within five seconds, I will carve the word loser into your cheek.”
I shook my head. He counted down and then gouged into my cheek. I screamed in agony. I writhed around and lashed out with my feet, but that just made Jack decide to tie my ankles together with rope. Then he began carving again.
By this time I was crying. I didn’t want my dad to die because of me, and Skylar, whoever she was, must be a good woman for trying to stop Jack. She didn’t deserve to die. But maybe if I told him who she was, maybe she was capable of saving herself. And my dad. I thought about lying, but Jack would never believe me. And I couldn’t stand having my face carved into again.
“Skylar Fierce. That’s all I know. Now let me go.”
Jack shook his head at me. “No, I’m not letting you go. I’m going to kill you.”
I was okay with this. I deserved this for telling him her name. I waited for the trigger to be pulled. But the gunshot didn’t come.
A tall figure had appeared. Whoever it was, they were wearing a black sweatshirt, and their face was covered by a ski mask. They had disarmed Jack. Then the figure punched and kicked him. He got a few hits in too, and his punches seemed to make the figure stagger more than theirs did to him. But finally the figure put their hand around his throat and lifted him onto his toes. In that moment I realized a few things. The figure was a woman. I could see her boobs. She was also really strong and really tall, even taller than Jack.
I could see Jack’s life fading, but then he managed to hit the woman in the stomach. She dropped him. He ran toward the gun but she stomped on his hand and picked it up. He ran out the door. She ran after him and was gone for a few minutes. Then she returned.
“He left. I’m going to get you out of here, but I need you to come with me. Are you willing to come?”
“That depends: Can I trust you?”
“That’s a funny question because I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Well, then, I guess I’m not willing to come.”
She laughed. “Okay, but that only makes it harder for you.”
“What do you mean?”
She shook her head and laughed again. Then she looked around. “Do you know where the keys are? For the handcuffs?”
“No idea.”
She kept looking, but to no avail. She did, however, pick up the knife Jack had left on the floor after cutting my face open. “You don’t have AIDS do you?”
“No, of course not, but why the heck are you asking?”
She pulled up her sleeves and sliced her wrist.
“What the heck are you doing?” I screamed.
“Getting you out of here,” she said. Then she rubbed her hand over the blood and placed her hands on the cuffs. After a few minutes, she was able to slip the cuffs off my hands.
Then she grabbed some rope.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Tying you up.”
“Why?!” I cried.
She just shook her head at me and grabbed my wrists. I tried to resist but she was even stronger than Jack. She tied my arms behind me.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m going to tell you that later.”
“Look, can you just let me go? I mean, you saved my life, so you must not want me dead.”
“No, I don’t want you dead.”
“So then why—” She had shoved a cloth into my mouth and tied it behind my head. Then she blindfolded me. Then she picked me up over her shoulder. We walked up some stairs and out a door. Then she unlocked a car and threw me in. She buckled my seat belt and then got in herself.
“Okay, I needed to gag you because I need to tell you some things. Then I will take the gag out and let you ask me questions. Nod if you understand.”
I nodded.
“Okay, I need information from you, but I’m not planning on torturing it out of you. I am not going to kill you and I will only hurt you if necessary. I am on your side. Now, I am going to take the gag out. If you scream, no one will hear you. It’s late and we’re on a deserted road. Your screaming will only piss me off and I’ll put it back in. Do you understand?”
I nodded. If she was kidnapping me, then she was probably one of the nicer kidnappers there was.
She took out my gag.
“What information do you need?”
“I need you to tell me who Skylar Fierce is.”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay…well, who does she work for?”
“I…I’m not sure I want to tell you that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Okay. She works for my dad.”
“And if I am correct, your dad would be Wade Larkin, right?”
“Yeah, how did you know that?”
“I just do.”
“Okay, so is that it?”
“No. You won’t be safe if I let you go and besides, I need your help.”
“You need my help? With what?”
“That will have to wait until later. Now if you don’t have any other questions, I am going to put the gag back in.”
I felt her hand on the cloth around my neck. “Wait,” I said.
“What?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“You saved my life. So thank you.”
She started to put the gag back in again, but once again, I said, “Wait.”
She sighed. “This is the last time I’m waiting for you.”
“Will I get to see your face? I want to see what the woman who saved my life looks like.”
She put the gag back in. “You will. Later.” Then she sighed again. “And you’re welcome.”