## Seriously need advice

Post by We1it5times » Tue Jul 31, 2012 12:02 am

I have had nobody to ask for help, then I realised that the people on one of the sites I visit most often will be able to give me the advice I need without taking the mick or negative comments, no idea why it took me so long to realise :S
I know I should be counting myself lucky, as my girlfriend is into bondage. Just not the same way as me she loves bed restraints and toys, these can push her right over the edge when used properly. My passion for bondage isn't the sex, it's a, cute/hot/beautiful girl tied helpless and struggling. I even prefer underwear still on over nude. I regularly dream of hog tying and gagging my partner, but it will never happen as I have tried so hard to talk her round but she doesn't see the point in being tied up if it's not rough and soread eagle on the bed. Maybe things would change when we're older (were only 22) but its a depressing thought thinking that I may not get to divulge my true fantasies. I know it's a long shot, I guess I was hoping somebody out there has had similar experiences and could advise me or anything. Thanks.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by SephySJ » Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:54 pm

Hey, is she really that opposed to being hogtied? Have you tried asking her to be hogtied for a bit, then switch it to a bed tie? I'm sure if she loves you then she'll come around to your thinking. My girlfriend often didn't like the things I asked her to do, but she understood that they really aroused me so she'd (begrudgingly) let me do them. I know you posted this a few months back and things might've changed, but let me know.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by shoxlover » Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:27 pm

There's gotta be a give and take. I don't like being the one tied but when my girl wants to tie me I don't typically fight it because I am typically the one tying her. She doesn't mind it and thinks it is a lot of fun but once in a while she has to get what she wants too.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by SamanthaBoundx » Sat Oct 06, 2012 8:46 am

Why don't you try to compromise with her? If she lets you tie her up the way you like first, then you can do what she likes afterwards - or vice versa. Try explaining in really honest terms what you find sexy about a tied up girl struggling. If she's willing to give it a go then she might find that she enjoys it.
You might have to accept that she just isn't into it though - and if she isn't then you need to respect her feelings. In a loving relationship, no one should EVER have to do anything that makes them uncomfortable or unhappy.

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Post by Headmistress » Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:37 am

Deleted.
Last edited by Headmistress on Fri Jan 27, 2017 3:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by Rogeroo » Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:02 pm

.
Last edited by Rogeroo on Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by Jason Toddman » Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:30 pm

I can sort of see the girlfriend's POV, as her preferences sound a bit similar to mine at that age. I was always willing to do some give or take however.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by We1it5times » Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:37 am

I didn't even realise people were replying to this :S
No change in my situation but then I can't make it happen if she doesn't want it to. Thanks for the advice

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by Rogeroo » Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:31 pm

That's right the tie-ee (in this case the proposed tie-ee) is always in charge.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by We1it5times » Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:58 am

Yes I know.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by Rogeroo » Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:14 am

After re-reading you situation. (I think) You should do it her way, just start in a different room, then move her to the bedroom.
Get in the habit of not starting on the bed, let it lead to the bedroom and let this foreplay take longer and longer each time. Concentrate on making her happy at the early stages as well as the late stages.
-- I had semi-girl-friend (maybe occasional girl-friend I will call Kitty) who was only into very light bondage. She was sort of an exhibitionists more than a bondagee (which leads to this story) She got slightly drunk and a little horny at a friends party.
-- This was a set-up. She though we were going to do "it" in his extra bedroom during a party {like I said she was an exhibitionists and like to get seene or almost caught}- only 4 couples including us.
-- Instead I tied her hands and arms behind her and gagged her and added a collar. Then I placed an short overcoat on her and stuck the sleeves in the pocket and took her back to the party. Her legs and barefeet sticking out of the overcoat was so pretty it was unbelievable. Another girl whose nickname was Sandy became so aroused that she opened two buttons on the coat and kissed her breast. Kitty was so excited at being exposed in front of girls (She didn't seem to mind the other guys; it was that she like the "forced embarrassment" of having the girls see her.) (I think she has never been naked in front of girls except for gym.)
-- It took a lot longer than I thought to get her out the front door, everyone kissed her on her gag and Betty and one other guy kissed her breasts. And she didn't want to leave as she had no idea as to my plan and was enjoying the attention.
-- My plan was to walk her home like this, but it was too cold, so I slipped a ski mask over her head and put deck shoes on her feet and lead her home the five blocks to my place. After a block she balked and kicked me, loosing a shoe in the process. I took both of the shoes and headed home. She was more than a block behind me when she finally decided to co-operate and came running after me.
-- It, too, was another great picture, she has such beautiful legs, running barefoot down the sidewalk, and knowing that she was well-tied under the overcoat, but the ski mask hid her hair, which I regretted. I think she was really panicked, but I couldn't see her face.
-- It turned into a super evening and she has been into bondage ever since.
-- My motto here is just keep trying new stuff. Some stuff is great only because it is new. (and) Some things leads to other things.
-- Now isn't that poetic, !!
-- Kitty is now into bondage but it is so that she can reach her forced exhibitionism; it gave her an excuse as to why she was naked in public. i.e.-She needed an excuse to do what she wanted to do, anyhow.
I have another Kitty Story if you like.

### Re: Seriously need advice

Post by kateknots » Sat Jan 19, 2013 7:16 am

Hey I respect the fact that you respect her wishes and boundaries, However, She doesn't know what she doesn't know. It could be that she thinks she wouldn't like being hog tied because it may look uncomfortable, or her movements would be to restricted.
If you explain how important it is for you to try this with her JUST ONCE. Ten minuets then you can do it her way. IF she agrees to the ten minuets I would suggest that A: the clock not start until she is comfortably hog tied. Then with the clock running use one or more of her favorite toys in her favorite way. Ket her to the "right place" while hogtied and she will want it all the time.