Just Because I feel Like Pushing the Envelope

Postby drawscore » Fri Jul 14, 2017 11:46 am

THERE WAS AN OLD FARMER

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock.
He sat in a meadow, a-shaking his
Fist, at a boy, who was down at the crick;
His feet in the water, his hands on his
Marbles and playthings, and in days of yore,
There came a young lady; she looked like a
Pretty young creature; she sat on the grass,
She pulled up her dress, and showed us her
Ruffles and laces, and white fluffy duck;
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children, and teach them to knit,
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the boys, as girls sometimes do,
To make it quite clear that she wanted to
Go for a nice, pleasant stroll on the grass,
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of
Ice cream and cake that stood three layers tall,
And after desert, she was ready to
Go for another walk, down by the dock
With any young man with a sizable
Roll of one hundreds, and a big bulge up front;
If he'd ask politely, she'd show him her
Little pet dog, which was subject to fits;
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tender hands, with the movements so quick;
And she'd bend on over, and suck on his
Soda, so sweetly, 'til she'd finished it,
Then pull down her panties, to rub on her
Hip that she bruised when she ran down the halls,
'Cause he tried to force her to lick on his
Candy, so tasty, made of butterscotch,
And then he spread whipped cream all over her
Cookies that she had been baking all night;
If you think this is dirty, you're probably right.

Re: Just Because I feel Like Pushing the Envelope

Postby xtc » Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:08 pm

There is a similar, if somewhat more succinct, version on this side of the Pond.
Sort of folk song really.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: Just Because I feel Like Pushing the Envelope

Postby Steak in a Tree » Wed Jul 19, 2017 2:50 am

Heard a similar song myself, can't be bothered to grab the link at 4am but it's the same thing for the most part.
"They didn't call him 'Einstein' for nothing."
-Albert Einstein