BoundJana wrote:What do you like the most about bondage?
Well, to a degree, that depends. Whether I'm in the dominant or submissive role, I like to build up slowly, starting with relatively minor bondage and adding more over time. I like pushing boundaries or having my boundaries pushed, respectively; but that requires a degree of trust and understanding about when it's acceptable to push what. That trust and understanding is itself an important part of the experience itself, which is why I don't care much for kidnapping plots.
In the submissive role, I find that being tied up makes me more open to other things. I usually dress pretty modestly, and feel uncomfortable even in most swimsuits; however, I let bondage partners take my shirt[1] off all the time, reach under my skirt[2] and feel my thighs, etc. This is related to the boundary pushing I mentioned above, and, of course, it can easily go wrong if my partner isn't sensitive to when it's okay and when it's not. My online persona is fairly direct, but in real life I'm quite submissive even when not tied up, and being told to do things[3] while restrained is amazing.
In a dominant role, I like my partner's boobs.
[1] I don't usually wear a bra - I'm Asian; there's not much for one to hold up. If I am wearing one for some reason, that can come off too.
[2] I'm almost always wearing some sort of comfy skirt, usually with a preppy sort of aesthetic. The only time I routinely wear pants is as pajamas during the winter. And, yes, I've let partners pull off my pajamas before.
[3] Mostly simple errands - housework, preparing meals, or just fetching things; I have very little experience with sex and it's been almost entirely vanilla[4].
[4] Totally gay, but vanilla.
That-animeguy wrote:And with the bondage concept still in mind, what would you dislike most when being tied?
When I'm not allowed to be an active participant. I see bondage as a romantic (or platonic) experience, not a sexual one, and, much like flirting is a two-way street, that's how I'd like to be tied up - as an equal partner, not an object to be degraded. I know that's a turn-on for many people, and more power to them, but it's just not my cup of tea[5]. Of course, that's not to say someone can't dominate me, or deny me the option to decline, say, a gag; but doing so with me requires a certain level of sensitivity.
My second semester of sophomore year, I had a suite with four other students. Over a vacation, myself and a suite-mate were the only ones still there, and he knew of my interests in bondage, so as soon as the others were gone, out came the handcuffs. We had a great time (see footnote 3 above), but I eventually wanted to take a shower. He wanted some assurance that I'd get cuffed again after (it was playful, not a serious thing), so I offered to give him my shirt until I was cuffed again. When I came back, he took advantage of the letter of our agreement and insisted on cuffing me
before giving the shirt back, which, of course, prevented me from putting it on, so I spent the rest of the weekend shirtless.
This worked because I knew I could have demanded to be let out at any time, or my shirt back, and he'd have immediately complied. I was in full control the whole time, and we both knew it; I made it known when I was comfortable moving along to something more strict or more sexual, and he knew to push as far as I'd let him and no further. There were dozens of things he could have done differently over the weekend, and the actual sequence of
what happened was all up to him, but he was sensitive to
how much I wanted to happen, and picked up on my hints. Had he not been, I wouldn't be speaking of that memory so fondly.
Of course, weak doms are no fun, either. Even if I'm the one setting the pace for things and hinting at what I'd like, I need to feel helpless. This is probably why I don't get tied up as much as I'd like - that sort of sensitivity requires the right person, and takes a long time to build regardless. It's also a serious problem in roleplays, and a series of RP partners (not here) that couldn't find the right balance turned me off the whole thing for a time.
This answer turned out a lot longer than expected.
[5] Green tea, of course. I have to be at least
somewhat stereotypical.