Although this is another true story, I have taken many, many liberties with the dialogue. Let’s call it artistic licence. (My writing has entered the “experimental†phase. If it’s a load of rubbish, please tell me so and I will go back to normal storytelling.)
“I’m bored.â€
“So am I. Why don’t you read your magazine?â€
“Finished it. This hotel room sucks. Not even a TV set.â€
“It’s only for one night.â€
“Yeah, but it still sucks. When will Mum and Dad be back?â€
“Not until late. Do you have to make that awful noise?â€
“I’m singing. It’s called talent. You wouldn’t understand.â€
“Obviously not. So let’s do something. What about a game of cards?â€
“Did you bring any?â€
“Okay, good point; so how about...â€
“Nah, too boring.â€
“Good grief, Alex, I didn’t even get to say it.â€
“Whatever you say, it’s going to be boring.â€
“Don’t mess with me. I’m still bigger than you.â€
“Yeah, but I’m the man of the house.â€
“Okay, man of the house, since we’re both bored out of our minds, you can tie me up.â€
“What’s in it for me?â€
“When you’ve tied me up, I can’t beat you up.â€
“Yeah, that works. What are we gonna use?â€
“Um... I know – a couple of pairs of my pantyhose. Wait a tick while I get them... Here, now try not to ruin them... Help me move the coffee table.â€
“Right, this is... here we go. Put your hands out.â€
“No, behind my back. That’s it. Wrists crossed are better, but it’s up to you...â€
“Like that?â€
“Make it tighter. The nylon stretches, so you have to make it secure. Now loop it between the wrists. Ouch... No, don’t stop. It’s okay.â€
“Done. Pretty good job, huh?â€
“Not bad... for an amateur. Now do my feet, same way. Hold on, it will be easier if I sit down.â€
“No, not there, on the floor.â€
“Fair enough. Now, only use one leg of the pantyhose. Just do it, and then I’ll explain... Nice job. Okay, give me a moment to get the circulation going.â€
“Your toes have turned blue!â€
“That’s my nail polish, smartarse.â€
“How’s it feel?â€
“Feels good.â€
“Then stop struggling...â€
“Hey, don’t... let me up!â€
“No way... down you go, on your stomach where you belong.â€
“Fine... you win... Well, since I’m in position, let’s finish the job.â€
“What ya got in mind?â€
“I’ll tell you what to do. Use the other leg of the pantyhose... Now when I bend my knees...â€
“I can see, dummy. I’m standing right over you.â€
“Sorry. Now tie my ankles to my wrists. That’s it... tighter. Oh!â€
“Good enough?â€
“Nice job.â€
“So try to get out of it.â€
“I am. Why do you think I’m wriggling about?â€
“Maybe the carpet has fleas.â€
“Maybe you have brain damage. Ouch! You little...â€
“Watch yourself, sissy. Your arse is mine now.â€
“Enjoy it while you can.â€
“You’re not getting out of it. I told you. Give up?â€
“Yes, I give up. Congratulations Alex, you’ve done your first hog-tie.â€
“So is that it?â€
“Bored already? Okay, go get three handkerchiefs... big ones... clean ones!â€
“How about these?â€
“They’ll do. Fold the first one a couple of times... No, chucklehead, diagonally.â€
“You’re asking for it.â€
“Sorry; at least now you’re doing it right. So tie it around my head... for gawdsake, over my eyes. It’s a blindfold. Tighter. That’s better. I can’t see a thing. So what are you doing now?â€
“I’m folding another handkerchief, making a... umm...â€
“Wad.â€
“Yeah, wad. Okay, open wide.â€
“Aggg...â€
“Stop squirming.â€
“Rrgghh.â€
“How does that feel?â€
“Mmmff!â€
“Pardon?â€
“Mmmff!â€
“I’ll take that to mean: You’ve done an excellent job, Alex. You’re the boss of me.â€
“Mmmff?â€
“I’m glad we agree. Well, that’s it. I’m off to bed.â€
“Mmmff-fff! Mmmff-fff!â€
“Bye-bye.â€
“Mmmm!!â€
“Ha, just kidding! Where’s your sense of humour?â€
“Gurrrg.â€
..........
“There you go. All over. How ya feeling?â€
“Oh, geez. I was just starting to enjoy it... not! Let me just stretch my legs.â€
“All good?â€
“Yeah. Wow! That was intense. Nice work. You’re going to make some girl very happy one day.â€
“If she’s a weirdo twisted freak like you.â€
“That’s the only kind you... oh, forget it. Help me with the coffee table.â€
..........
“Hi Mum. Where’s Dad?â€
“Hello Sarah. He’s parking the car. You look tired.â€
“Yeah. How was the show?â€
“I loved it. Your father slept through most of it.â€
“Typical male.â€
“Has Alex gone to bed?â€
“Just now.â€
“Did he behave himself?â€
“I kept him busy.â€
“Good. Your brother needs to be kept on a very short rope.â€
“That’s just what I’ve been thinking.â€