My Cousin

Postby Dennis » Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:00 am

This story happened 2 years ago. At the time my cousin stayed a week with
us. Nico (Cousin), Fabian(my best Frind) and I(Dennis) had a lot of fun.

Me : 11 Years old, medium-long brown hair
Fabian: 12 Years old, short black hair
Nico : 14 Years old, athletic, tall, blond hair

On Saturday we were all just at dinner, when my mother came in.
"I'm away for about 3 hours. Nico, can you keep an eye on Dennis and Fabian?"
"Of course, no problem. Bye"
"Bye"

After we finished eating, Nico asked:
"What are we doing today?"
"How about swimming?" I said
"good idea. Let us go in 2 hours?"
"ok, let's watch television." I sad
"I'll be right there. I'm still cleaning up the kitchen."
"ok"

Fabian and I just wanted to go to my room.
"But make no nonsense. Otherwise I have to tie you to the bed." he laughed.
We had to grin. Nico did not know that we tie each other very often. (for Fun).

In my room, Fabian said to me: "Do not forget what Nico said, or you'll be tied up once again" he grinned

"No, no, no! Do not do that. Not if Nico is there."
"You're boring!" he laughed.
I went to my closet and I wanted to wear something else. I took off my pants and shirt and threw it into the corner. I was only in underpants.

Suddenly, Fabian said: "Do not throw it all into a corner."
"Be quiet."
Then I heard behind me like Fabian opened my chest and took out the jump ropes. I turn around and saw Fabian with many jump ropes.

"No, i have said that you should let it be."
"So what? Nico said. If we make Nonnsens, then we are tied to the bed."
"It was meant as a joke!"
"Lie on the bed."
"No, let it be"
He grinned at me. Fabian is stronger than me. He forced me onto the bed.
Then he took four jump ropes and tied them to my arms and legs. The other side he tied to the bedpost. Now I lay on my bed. Tied up.

"untie me. What if Nico sees me?"
"That will be very funny, I think." He said.
I struggled.

Then the door opened and Nico came in.
Nico saw me immediately. "What ...?"
Fesseln am Morgen vertreibt Kummer und Sorgen. :)

Re: My Cousin

Postby xtc » Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:20 am

I'm intrigued by your style. Have you considered writing the direct speech in the normal coloquial style? By re-reading your previous story, I've noticed that you sometimes do so. It's just my opinion but I find that pople are more likely to say (as opposed to write) "I've" rather than "I have", "don't" rather than "do not", etc. I ask because you use normal colloquialisms like "let it be" at other times.

Am I correct in assuming that you are a native English/American speaker? If not, your use of the langauge is excellent! I notice that you are in Germany. Has the continental style of presenting direct speech affeted your paragraphing?

Good luck with the writing; keep up the entertainment.

Wassail!
Xtc
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: My Cousin

Postby Dennis » Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:38 am

"Am I correct in assuming that you are a native English/American speaker?"

No. I am a native German speaker.
I have all my English language skills from school, dictionaries and Google Translator.^^
Fesseln am Morgen vertreibt Kummer und Sorgen. :)

Re: My Cousin

Postby xtc » Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:44 am

You should be congratulated on your English/American language writing!
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

Re: My Cousin

Postby Dennis » Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:06 am

„Why is he tied to the bed?“
“He has made nonsense. So I tied him to the bed. Like you've said!”: he grinned.
Nico had to laugh out loud. "You two are really funny. That was just a joke."
"No problem. He likes it"
"What do you mean?"
"I tie him often. Look, this is really funny."
I already knew what will happen. I wanted to try to stop Fabian.
Me: “Please let me go. It's really not funny!”
Nico was a little confused. But he just had to laugh.
"Wait, Nico. I'll show you something. If he does not want to be quiet..."
Me: "No, let it be! PLEASE!"
But Fabian ignored me. He went into the corner into which I have done my clothes and took my socks. Then he took the tape, which he has previously put on the table.

“No, NO! M..mmm, MMMmmh”
He took the socks and put them into my mouth. Then he took the tape and taped it over my mouth often.
Nico was standing next to him and watched. He was laughing still.
He asked, "What do you do now?"
Fabi grinned.
"Let us tickle him. He likes it"
I was going to say no, but the only thing I said was: "Mmmmmm ... Mmmmhhh".
I screamed and screamed.
"You see, he looks forward": Fabian smiled.
Nico said: "ok"
Fabian started to tickle my feet. Nico thought it was funny. He immediately began to tickle me on my chest.
“MMmmmm…Mmmmmhhh”
I tried to struggle against the ropes, but it did nothing.
After about 30 minutes they stopped.
"Wait, I have an idea."
Fabian ran down. After a few minutes he came back with some ice cubes.
"This is funny."
He took an ice cube and put it on my belly. That was cold! I screamed as loud as I could, but he heard only: "MMMmmmhhhh"

Nico said, "You're really evil."
"Yes, I know," Fabian laughed.
"I have a better idea yet."
"Yes, yes, please do."
"Sure?"
“ok, whatever you want.” Nico grinned evilly.
First, we need ice "
"Here."
"Good. Now put all the ice on his chest and belly."
"OK, as you want!"
I struggled against the ropes. But I could not move. He put all the ice on me.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmhhhhhh"

"OK, next step."
"Yes, tell me!"
"OK, take off all your clothes Fabian."
"What?" Fabian was shocked.
"The underwear you may keep on."
"Hey, no, wait!"
But Nico laughed.
He was 2 years older. Fabian had no chance. Fabian struggled, but Nico was stronger.
Then he put Fabian's socks in his mouth and made tape over it. (Just like me.)
Next, he put Fabian on top of me. I was lying on my back, and Fabian was lying face down on me. And between us, the ice cubes.
Then he took the tape and taped his wrist to my wrist. The same with his ankles.
Finally, he took a rope and tied it around our bellies. The ice was just between us!
Nico laughed extremely. "It looks funny."
"Mmmmm, mmmmmmh" we cried.
He grinned: "Your mother comes back in an hour."
Now he again began to tickle us! At our feet, under the arms, ... . After about 30 minutes, he stopped.
"Fabian"
"Mmmhh?"
"You're right. It's really funny."
"MMMmmmmhhhhh"
"Yes, I untie you in a few minutes. But first ..."
He went to my computer and took my digital camera.
"Smile."
He took a few pictures and a short video, as he tickles us.
"ok"
Then he useed my computer and sent the pictures and videos by e-mail to his PC.
We yelled: "No, let be!", "Do not Send". (Of course, he only heard "Mmmmhhh")

After the data were sent finished, he untied us.

"What was that? Delete the photos!"
"Yeah, ok."
He quickly opened his e-mail mailbox and deleted an e-mail.
"Was that the e-mail with the photos?"
"yes"
"ok"

(We did not know what e-mail has been deleted. We realized later that it was NOT the e-mail with the photos.)

We packed our bathing suits, went swimming and had a nice day.

END

I hope you enjoyed.
Fesseln am Morgen vertreibt Kummer und Sorgen. :)

Re: My Cousin

Postby mikeybound » Mon Apr 16, 2012 11:50 am

I liked it! Just, couldn't you type it in German, and run the whole thing through a translator? Or failing that, get a board member to make lingual corrections. It just seems like the practical thing to do.

Re: My Cousin

Postby sarumansauron » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:02 pm

Great story and adventure! Thanks!
I love TUGS and TICKLING Torture!!!!!

Re: My Cousin

Postby xtc » Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:47 am

Don't worry too much about the SLIGHTLY strange terminology sometimes. It is obvious from looking at the German use of colons for direct speech that we might expect some rather individual expressions at times. I for one would rather you wrote naturally than that you had to keep on the lookout for alternative expressions. I suspect that you check things quite often in any case and I still think you have a more entertaining style than some native writers.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729