One little thing

Postby FelixSH » Sat Jul 13, 2013 2:34 pm

I´m writing on a new story, and this here is the first of probably four or five parts. No one gets tied up this time, it´s just there to set everything up. But enough talk, I hope it is a good read.

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“Here is the coke, Jeff”, Nick said, handing his colleague a bottle of the cold soda. Jeff grabbed it, looking pissed off. “What were you doing? I thought I would die of thirst.”
“Sorry, but the nearest machine was empty, and the next...”, Nick answered nervously before he was interrupted. “Okay, whatever, stop your whining. Seriously, you are so useless”, Jeff said.
Nick just let it drop. It was fun for him to hang out with these guys. He loved being a member of the football team, even though he was just a substitute player. The membership alone made him more popular than he ever was back in school. University life had given him this opportunity, and he wouldn´t waste it, just because of some dumb jokes.
“You know, Nick, I´d need some money. Can you borrow me 20 bucks?”, Justin, another one of the group, asked. Nick started to look uneasy. “But you already owe me 50 dollar. I don´t have that much to spare. I´m sorry, really, but...”
A sudden tug on the back of his underwear interrupted the boy, making him produce a light scream. Everyone of the group, except for him, began to laugh. His face started to get red and hot, as suddenly someone approached them.
“A wedgie, how creative. Tell me, where do you jerks get this clever ideas from?”, the newcomer said. “Hey, Chris. Your lecture is already over?”, Nick said, ignoring the comment of his friend and flatmate.
“Yeah, the prof had to go earlier. Let´s go, I´d like to spend my time with people who aren´t awful”, Chris said. “What´s your problem, man? We just have some fun with him, that´s all. He can stomach some small jokes”, Justin said, glaring. “Maybe, if you would be nice to each other your team play would get better and you would stop sucking so much”, Chris answered back.
The team, except for Nick, had never developed a high tolerance against critic. It was true that they lost nearly every game, but most people wouldn´t have mentioned it, out of fear of getting on the groups bad side. Chris though, being never the victim of bullying, wasn´t afraid of retaliation.

“Why are you a member of this team? They treat you awful, and you aren´t even playing”, Chris said after the two students were far enough away not to be heard. “They aren´t that bad, really. I have fun with them”, his friend said.
The older boy sighed. He already had discussed this a few times with his colleague, but there was no way getting through to him.
“Okay, but then at least defend yourself. If you show them that you aren´t just their punching bag they will start to respect you more. How about a little prank, like they always do to you?”
Nick didn´t answer immediately. He wasn´t sure if he could bring up the courage for something like this. Caught up in thought he walked along Chris, saying nothing for some time.

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“Bye. I will call on monday”, Colin said, giving his girlfriend Melissa a soft kiss. “Okay, bye then”, she answered, smiling, before she went away.
Colin looked after her, before walking in the opposite direction. It was time to meet up with Nick and Chris. But he didn´t get far, before he was approached by Zack. “What?”, Colin said, though he already knew what was coming. Since he was dating Melissa it always was the same, and it had gotten tired weeks ago.
“You know what! She is my girlfriend, not yours. A loser like you isn´t good enough for her, and you had no right taking her from me. This is my last warning: Stop dating her. She is mine!”
Colin didn´t know if he should be amused or angry about this. Zacks face was red as a tomato, his grimacing face nearly funny to look at, distorted as it was. But this had really gone far enough.
“Look, we started dating weeks after she left you. It´s not my fault that you are too dumb to treat her with respect! What´s wrong with you, anyway? She is not yours, and also not mine. You had your chance, and you botched it!”
As Colins voice grew louder, more and more people stopped and looked. He knew he shouldn´t loose his cool because of Zack, but maybe he could finally bring an end to this nonsence.
“What do you know about my relationship with her?! I was always nice to her!”, Zack screamed, his hands shaking.
Normally, Colin would have been gone already, but not this time. He needed to end this. “No, you didn´t. Melissa told me. You rarely spent time with her, and when you did you never asked her what she wanted to do! And then you even betrayed her! Did everyone hear it? He betrayed his girlfriend! That´s the kind of jerk he is!”
Colin calmed down. Was that too much? It wasn´t his goal to tell this to everyone. Even if Zack was a jerk, it wasn´t his right to tell other people about it. He looked around. Everyone was watching him or his enemy, who, for some reason, didn´t react. Except for a new, icy stare. “You will pay for this”, he said, before walking away.
“Wait. I´m sorry. That went too far”, Colin said, but there was no reaction. <<Whatever, if you want to be angry, be my guest. Maybe that will at least teach you to leave me alone.>>
As he walked away, he felt something falling down inside the right half of his shorts. Instead of trying to grab what was obviously his phone, he just moved his foot a bit, to prevent it from crashing against the hard floor.
<<I guess it´s time to finally do something about this hole>>, Colin thought, as he put the phone into the left pocket.

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“Sorry, I forgot the time. When are we supposed to meet at the bus station tomorrow?”, Andy asked, showing his typical sheepish grin. They already told him a few times, but he always forgot. But no one could be angry at him with this grin. Andy knew that, and used it therefore always when he wanted something.
The effect worked like expected. “At seven pm. Don´t forget it, okay? If you miss it, we will go without you to the competition, and the next chance you get will be in one year”, Laura, a colleague from the debate club, explained for the third time. Andy nodded, and this time he also repeated the time in his head, so he wouldn´t forget it again. This was his chance. He loved debating, and now he could finally show everyone how good he was.
“It´s not like we need you there. Just stay here, I will win anyway.” Andy turned around, facing Kai, generally considered to be second best of the club, directly behind Andy himself.
“You are just afraid of loosing against me”, he answered, grinning at his rival, who started grinning himself. “I´m just joking”, Kai said. “There wouldn´t be a point in winning, if you aren´t there to lose against me.”
“Sure, sure, just keep dreaming. Well then, I have to go. See you tomorrow.” As he walked away, Andy thought back when to the beginning of the semester, when he joined the club. Back then, no one could compete with Kai. Andy though wasn´t only trained through his years in the debating club at school, he also was very talented. He nearly felt sorry for his rival. Losing the top position in a team to a newcomer must have been hard for him.
But the thought vanished fast. It was time to meet up with his friends.

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“Are you sure about that? I still don´t get why you want to join this fraternity”, Chris said, looking sceptic. “Why not?”, asked his brother Andy. “I thought about it myself, but as the competition is this weekend I can´t anyway.”
“I guess Í´ll give it a try”, Colin answered. “That means I have to get up early tomorrow. Sorry guys, I have to go. But first I need to visit the bathroom.”
On his way, his phone vibrated. Melissa had sent him a message, wishing him good luck for the initiation weekend. His thoughts were with her, as the phone vanished in the right pocket.

Then minutes later he was back at the table, saying goodbye. Nick decided to accompany him, as he had a lecture early on the next day. Andy and Chris ordered another beer, while talking about the formers competition.
Getting up the stairs with his trolley was a bit of a hassle, like always. “Dude, you should really get a backpack. Or at least a smaller trolley. Your whole body would fit into this thing.” Nick grinned shyly. “No, I like it. I like to take a lot of stuff with me, a backpack would be pretty heavy if it was loaded that way. This trolley is really useful.” Colin shrugged. “I guess.”

Some time later, Zack and Justin walked into the cafe. Zack choose a table near Andy and Chris, though because it stood at the other side of the corner no one knew that the other one was here. Justin went directly for the bathroom.

“You will be at the initiation this weekend, right? Trying to get into the fraternity?”, Zack asked. Justin nodded. “Yes, I´d like to. But that shouldn´t be a problem for me, right? I mean, I know you.” Zack made a grimace. “I guess I can try to help you, but everyone has to earn his right to be our brother. You still have to give your best. And be careful, if you are really awful you will get punished.”
Justins eyes grew big. “What? How?” His friend shook his head. “Don´t worry about that. You will see it tomorrow. One of the candidates, I think his name is Colin, is dating my ex. I will make sure that he will learn about it directly.”
Chris and Andy looked at each other. “I think I have to make a phone call”, the former said, going to the bathroom. There he tried to call his friend, but the call wasn´t answered. <<Damn it>>, he thought, writing a message. <<I hope he will read it.>>

“Someone is calling on the phone I found at the bathroom. Should I answer?”, Justin asked, the vibrating mobile phone in his hand. Zack shook his head. “More work than it´s worth it. Just leave it here, let one of the waiters deal with it.”
Shortly afterwards, a message came. “From a Chris”, Justin said. “Whatever, just leave it on the table”, Zack said, not caring about it.

“Did you tell him?”, Andy said as Chris came back, who shook his head. “I tried, but he didn´t answer the call and didn´t react to my message. I guess we should go to his flat, then I will tell him about it directly.” “Okay, it´s pretty late anyway.”

“I know whose phone this is”, Zack said, watching the two students walk out. “Seems like my lucky day. It´s the one from this Colin I told you about. And one of the guys who walked out was his flatmate. These two are often together at the campus. I think his name is Chris, which would explain the message.”
Justin smiled. “I guess we should send him an answer now, shouldn´t we?” Zack grinned.

“Hey, look, he answered me. Good, he will not go to the initiation tomorrow”, Chris said, relieved. “Then, I guess, we don´t have to go home already. Want to go somewhere?”
Andys yawn was all the answer he needed. “Sorry bro, but I´m tired. Another time.” “And what about tomorrow, before you have to go?” “Not enough time. My lecture is over at five, I won´t have time for anything.”
Chris shrugged. “Okay, then we will just celebrate your victory after you are back.” “Sounds good”, his brother answered, grinning.

Carefully Andy opened the door to their dorm. Snoring could be heard out of one of the rooms.
“I guess Scott is sleeping already”, he said, turning on the light.
After removing his shoes, Chris took a look at the room. He sighed. “What, again? Why do we always have to clean up after this jerk?”
A used plate lay on the couch table, though the crumbs of the meal weren´t only found there, but also on the table and the floor. An empty bag lay on the couch, together with a lot of little crumbs. Clothes on the floor completed the messy picture.
“I guess I´ll talk to him about it tomorrow. For the hundredths time”, Andy said, groaning, before he and his brother cleaned up the small mess.

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Feedback in every form is, like always, highly appreciated.

Re: One little thing

Postby mikeybound » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:35 pm

Maybe I'm being a bit slow, but I really don't have a clue what's going on here. Maybe you can go over it again, add some context, introduce us to the plot and characters?

Re: One little thing

Postby FelixSH » Sun Jul 14, 2013 11:10 am

Thanks for the feedback. I guess the lack of comments shows that you aren´t the only one who thinks so.
My plan was to create a story that consists of four shorter stories, intervowen with each other. I guess I´m not at the necessary skill level at the moment to make this work. I will think about what to do with this, maybe I´ll just use the ideas that I wanted to use here for two or three normal, single stories.

Re: One little thing

Postby tiedup24 » Sun Jul 14, 2013 11:46 am

It could work, maybe you just need to add a character sheet so we can now who is who and their relations to each other (brother/friend/roomate/rival/etc.) since right now you have bassically bombarded us with several character wich can be confusing