The Nixon Family- Say "Wiiiiiiiii!"

Postby AlexUSA » Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:11 pm

James had a clever idea one day. OK, maybe just an idea. A thought? Oh, you say it died of loneliness?! That's what you think!

When friends came over, it wasn't uncommon for them to play Wii tournaments, where they would play rounds head-to-head until one person was the champion. Sometimes it was throwing people off a cliff in Super Mario Bros Wii. Sometimes it was most points scored in a quarter on Madden. Regardless, James was good, and he usually won.

When James held such contests though, with his siblings, things were different. People were still seeded randomly (usually through drawing numbers out of a hat), but the results changed. In the James-system, the winner got to tie up his opponent. Here's the summary of kid's appearances before starting.

Anna: jeans, red polo
Paul: jeans, black t-shirt
Kate: red skirt, white blouse, red bandana headband
John: tan shorts, red t-shirt
James: jeans, blue t-shirt
Sara: TBA
Rachel: TBA
Eric: jean shorts, Green Bay Packers shirt (bad influence, that Paul!)

James announced these tournaments at random, but he always asked first and held them after dinner when he did, usually 3rd Saturday of the month. When he asked, I wasn't surprised.

"Dad, all right if I hold this month's James' Games?"
"Fine... but no catchy name?"
"Of course there is! 'Bowling for Seat-loaf,' because the losers loaf on a seat while bound and gagged!"
"Go away!" I shouted, and went back to cutting the grass.

As it turned out, the competition consisted of playing a frame of Wii Sports Resort bowling, with the loser meeting their fate. Seeding went on game rankings for once.
1) Paul, 2) Rachel, 3) James, 4) Anna, 5) Eric, 6) Sara, 7) Kate, 8) John

The match-ups were 1-8, 2-7, 3-6, and 4-5. Kids prepared throughout the rest of the day. Some talked to others about styles, others just went about their business. Rachel cleaned the kitchen counters, hoping her arms would be toned. When game time came, Rachel and Sara came out dressed in matching navy blue pajamas and navy blue bandana neck scarfs.

"If we dress identically, it will make us twice as good," was Rachel's reasoning. It was the only matching clothing they had. Creepy...

Get real, people. Sports = a combo of luck, skill, and mentality. As judge, I also got to decide what happened in a tie. Sorry girls, but Dad isn't neutral like Mom. To start the game, 7 chairs were set up in the living room. Per James' own rules, there no blindfolds, and gags could only be cleave gags. Ties were to be simple with just wrists and ankles being restrained. Each person would bring their own bandana to be gagged with.

And the tournament began with the 1-8 match-up, but John didn't match-up with Paul as Paul won in a rout, 268-121. John didn't help himself though.

"I'm going to sit throughout the round," he said.
"Why?" Anna asked with genuine confusion.
"To familiarize myself with my new home."

John quickly became familiar with two pieces of rope binding his wrists and the gray bandana between his teeth to stop him from talking, because John would talk non-stop otherwise.

Next came the 2-7 match-up of Rachel and Kate. Some wear lucky socks, other's have lucky rabbits foots. How about lucky PJs? Rachel was a little off, but pulled off a narrow 180-168 win. Since it was late, Kate just took the bandana headband off and gagged herself with it. She then sat down and allowed Rachel to tie her to the chair.

3-6 provided the drama. Throughout the round, it was close. James was able to score more strikes, but at the 6th frame he hit a snag, and going into the last frame, he and Sara were tied at 169. On her first throw, Sara hit 9, and then the spare, but the third ball was an 8. James' turn came; he hit 9 and the spare, but on the third he hit a 9.

"Staying alive!" James shouted.
"Lucky PJs!" Sara said snarkily as she slid the bandana between her teeth, and James tied her up.

4-5, interestingly, was completely uninteresting as Eric creamed his sister with 285 points to her 210. High rolling, but not close either. Anna just smiled a smile that said she lost on purpose. This girl was odd, and I think she liked being tied, because it meant she could sit and watch. Anna was soon gagged with a red bandana and tied.

The first round was over, and the second round seeds was: 1) Paul, 2) Rachel, 3) James, 5) Eric.

First match-up was the 1-5, which proved to be a classic as both ran strikes down the first 8 frames. In the ninth frame Eric faltered though and only got a spare to Paul's 9th strike. Eric was stoic as he was bound and gagged with a white bandana.

The James' Games lived up to their founder's rhymes as James took down his sister handily. Rachel was displeased.

"My lucky PJs; they didn't work!"
"I ed at!" shouted Sara through the bandana, which while not effective made her words come out bad.
"I demand a recount, a rematch, a--- mmmph!" came from Rachel, protesting as James untied her neck scarf and gagged her with it before tying her up.

The finale was set for just Paul and James. Their eyes locked and glazed over with cold, unemotional, determination to win. They would fight to the death, and push each other to do better.

The final round was a groaner, as I and my 6 bound and gagged children looked on with disgust as Paul and James flopped to a 110-110 tie. This was pathetic, and I ordered a replay. This one was better, but a 279-279 tie is still a tie. I had enough.

"Eenie, meenie, minie, moe... ... ... ... ... Paul, you're Moe!"
"No! This is your grade system? No instant replays? No round by round voting like in boxing!" Paul said while trying to hide is smile of laughter. He had lost and won this way before, but as James took the camo bandana and gagged Paul with it after tying him up, we reveled in the silence. James, I, and my wife had the house to ourselves now. After about 15 minutes, James and I released the barely tied losers. Nothing severe; just enough to keep them there.

This is sort of how the James' Games went. James typically did well because he played to win, while most of his siblings played to lose. Were they fun? Yes. In fact, I and even my wife participated on occasion, and won and lost like any other person, but that wasn't tonight's story.

Look for the following to come in a timely manner with expected, but not finalized titles: "Return of the Molly Maids," "Weekend Warriors," "Anna's Boyfriend," and "Paul's Birthday." The former two involve contests between teams, and the last two focus on individuals. Yes, I am aware that some of these stories must backtrack, and I may assign fake dates in the future.

Please give feedback in the comments, and feel free to suggest story ideas for your atypical typical family.
I rite on a tabblit, so speling errurs will hap pin free quintly.