Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:01 am

I'm kind of surprised this question hasn't been asked already, but I guess there's a first time for everything. When I say "outed" I am not asking about a time when someone discovered that you like bondage. What I mean is, has there ever been a time when someone who already knew about your fetish turned around and told someone else without your permission? Perhaps an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, or a family member?

The term is usually reserved for gay people and the like being outed by their family or peers, but I imagine that it could also fit here. It varies by person. Some people don't take it too seriously, but others play close to the chest, and would rather nobody know for fear of being judged.

So, I guess what I'm asking is, what is your take on it? Or, has it ever happened to you? Would it be a big deal if it did? Lend me your musings!
Last edited by SolidSnickerdoodle on Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:08 am

tapeandrope666 wrote:Yeah I play it VERY close to my chest, and I personally would end a friendship if someone broke that particular confidence can't say its actually happened but then I've only ever told about four people

What prompted you to tell them? And what did you say when you told them? "Please keep this a secret. I don't want anyone to know?"
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Wed Jan 18, 2017 6:32 am

tapeandrope666 wrote:Guess that I trusted them enough. Three were blokes and it just came up when we were yammering about what we were into (different occasions not a group lol) I made it clear it was between us, and the fourth was my missus lol should be obvious why she needs to know what I like lol

I've had situations like that. I usually try to determine the group's impression of bondage or other fetishes before I say anything. So far any mention of it has been chocked up to "crazy ex-girlfriends" or freaky behavior. So I usually don't say anything. Part of me wants to be the guy that stands up for it and tries to rationalize the desire. Maybe make them understand why people like it so much. We need more of that.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby KingMush » Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:01 am

Nah, not really. I don't really tell anyone except the people I trust the most.
War, war never changes.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Lake Lover » Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:16 am

As far as I know, no one has ever revealed that I like tie up games. I would never reveal the name of any of my tie up friends, because I would consider it a big betrayal of confidence.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby SolidSnickerdoodle » Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:38 am

Lake Lover wrote:As far as I know, no one has ever revealed that I like tie up games. I would never reveal the name of any of my tie up friends, because I would consider it a big betrayal of confidence.

I never understood why people are so quick to reveal that kind of information. All it takes is one bad relationship ending and suddenly everyone's throwing out each others secret fetishes. If I broke it off my a partner I wouldn't reveal to the world that they like TUG's. Of course, so do I. I'd like to think that even if it was something I didn't like, like feet or pain then I would still keep the secret. Still, I'm not sure. Hate is a helluva drug.
There is only one God, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Jason Toddman » Wed Jan 18, 2017 10:57 am

No one I knew could have outed me without outing themselves, as no one who didn't participate themselves ever knew until long after. And since I was the 'sub' and therefore looked like a victim, it'd have been far worse for them to be found out than it would have been for me, since few people understood about consensual kink back in those days I was active in TUGs. I was outed two or three times but only by people who stumbled upon us rather than people who'd already known.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby truly_trussed » Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:13 am

Jase, I remember when you were tightly tied to a tree and gagged. I recall a Boy Scout walking through the Maine woods found you and untied you. At first he probably thought you were a victim of a crime. Well he did his Good Turn that day.

Play safe, T.T.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Jason Toddman » Wed Jan 18, 2017 4:18 pm

truly_trussed wrote:Jase, I remember when you were tightly tied to a tree and gagged. I recall a Boy Scout walking through the Maine woods found you and untied you. At first he probably thought you were a victim of a crime. Well he did his Good Turn that day.

Play safe, T.T.

Yeah, that was one of the times I had in mind all right, but the boy scout wasn't involved with the TUGs. In fact afaik i never saw him again. But I told him what had happened as he untied me and, since he was about the same age as my brother and knew him at school, he kept things as discreet as possible - to save us all (including me, mom, and dad) from embarrassment, as far as I recollect.
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Jay Feely » Wed Jan 18, 2017 6:58 pm

Yes and my girlfriend broke up with me afterwards.
You will have to subdue me to restrain me. I been a bad boy so make sure you torture me too with anything but pain.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby truly_trussed » Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:33 pm

Jason Toddman wrote:
truly_trussed wrote:Jase, I remember when you were tightly tied to a tree and gagged. I recall a Boy Scout walking through the Maine woods found you and untied you. At first he probably thought you were a victim of a crime. Well he did his Good Turn that day.

Play safe, T.T.

Yeah, that was one of the times I had in mind all right, but the boy scout wasn't involved with the TUGs. In fact afaik i never saw him again. But I told him what had happened as he untied me and, since he was about the same age as my brother and knew him at school, he kept things as discreet as possible - to save us all (including me, mom, and dad) from embarrassment, as far as I recollect.


That was a Good Scout. Had it not been consensual and you'd been an actual crime victim and he rescued you that incident probably would have been featured in a cartoon page appearing monthly in Boys' Life magazine. Called "Scouts in Action" it features true stories of Scouts or Scouters usually helping someone in trouble using bravery and performing heroic service.

BTW, you should have asked him as a Scout to critique the rope work and knots. :wink:

T.T.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Boocola » Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:03 am

My cousin, to some of her friends, she wanted her male friends to tie me up, I said no until one bet that I couldn't escape, out in five minutes, the easiest ten dollars I've ever made.
:twisted:

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Jason Toddman » Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:24 pm

truly_trussed wrote:That was a Good Scout. Had it not been consensual and you'd been an actual crime victim and he rescued you that incident probably would have been featured in a cartoon page appearing monthly in Boys' Life magazine. Called "Scouts in Action" it features true stories of Scouts or Scouters usually helping someone in trouble using bravery and performing heroic service.

BTW, you should have asked him as a Scout to critique the rope work and knots. :wink:

T.T.

I can't say the thought ever occured to me; certainly not then. I was rather miserable at the time what with mosquito bites and being a tad chilled... and more than a tad mortified.
I did wish sometime later (when I was more or less the age he was then; but before I started living with my cousins) that I could have met him again and get him to tie me up himself, yes. He would likely have approved of the knots and rope work they used, since those two were also scouts and definitely knew what they were doing. 8)
Dare to be different... and make a difference.
To boldly go where no one in their right mind has gone before...

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby Ru_Bot » Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:27 am

There's absolutely no hiding it for me. I draw and openly post bondage related art, and my friends all know it. I just... Don't think they actually care enough to tell anyone outside of our circle?
Image

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby HushedPuppy » Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:04 pm

Yep. There's a strange tug of war that goes on inside me between my introverted and exhibitionist tendencies. Have had a variety of people share, not out of maliciousness, more just curiousity. My now ex wife told her friend (in my experience this is pretty common) and she found it really interesting. She said she was training to become a dominatrix before she got pregnant because "work stressed her out and she wanted to take it out on men". She used to delight in teasing me by describing how she wanted to tie me up, but only jokingly in front of my ex wife. Whonthought it was hilarious. I never did get tied up. But I liked the attention being the centre of discussion bought.

The other time was when my mate intriduced me at a private dance party and proceeded to tell chicks I was into bondage. I had to tell him that was more of a second date thing. I did not pick up that night.
:bound:

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby fratboydanny » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:03 am

It is a bit complicated but in college I would regularly submit to a guy from another fraternity. He brought in, over time, a few of his brothers to enjoy my submission. But they could all see how much I enjoyed being tied up.

Re: Have you ever been "outed" for your interest in bondage?

Postby BoundJana » Fri Feb 10, 2017 5:55 am

The girl I have TUGS with once told a couple, which was into bondage too, that I was liking bondage. At first I was a bit shocked because she told somebody else our secret, but she only did it because she wanted the couple to join the fun, so it was okay for me.
What are you looking at? Finally put a gag in my mouth and play with me!