Postby Jay Candice » Thu May 24, 2012 9:01 pm
A good story, but I suggest you give names to your character. Giving names and personalities give more meaning to your characters than simply naming them as numbers. It's pretty good, but it would be nice to have identifiers.
In the end, it matters not how many breaths you took, but how many took your breath away.
-shing xiong
We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction
-General Douglas MacArthur
Fall down seven times, stand up eight
-Japanese Proverb