[20:25:14] dakin: >maggabelle
[20:25:23] who goes there!
[20:28:02] castle?
[20:28:07] is that you from home?
[20:28:45] maggabelle: No, um...Mark's brother gave me the link to here
[20:28:54] He said you all were friends
[20:29:42] dakin: Oh, I see that's true.  Most aren't online right now, but I can relay anything to them as well.
[20:30:23] Yeah I talked to Mark for many years, he was my friend.
[20:30:51] I also remember talking to Mark's brother
[20:31:00] maggabelle: I didn't have anything I wanted to say really, just wanted to, I'm not sure exactly.
[20:31:15] dakin: That's fine I understand
[20:33:03] maggabelle: Mark and I were together in the past but hadn't talked in some time
[20:33:45] And I guess maybe I just wanted to know how he had been doing 
[20:34:15] dakin: together like girlfriend? 
[20:34:20] was that back in highschool?
[20:34:39] anyways doesn't matter to me I guess, I can tell you 
[20:34:44] maggabelle: Yes, we started dating in high school and all through college
[20:35:11] We were together for 4 years and were planning on getting married 
[20:35:40] dakin: Yeah, he never mentioned that... musta been something he didn't want to talk about.  Which is odd since he talked about a lot of other bad stuff that happened to him.
[20:37:24] NattyKnight: he certainly had his ups and downs
[20:37:38] dakin: If I could broadly summarize
[20:38:08] I'm not exactly sure when his mother died, but I believe it was very traumatic for him and he couldn't deal with the grief and anger.  So he became a recluse that just just drank alcohol and slept during the day.  
[20:38:24] maggabelle: She died in 2015 
[20:38:49] dakin: In the last few years he had been to rehab multiple times, with lots of very difficult periods.
[20:39:56] NattyKnight: that's where we thought he was this last time he went awol
[20:40:10] dakin: He was off alcohol I think for about a year actually, and was getting a job.  I was happy he was getting out and adjusting again.  Anyways, yeah I guess he was hiding that he started up again, and just suddenly disappeared from us here.
[20:41:05] He was a really kind person though, and very gentle.  
[20:41:42] And he was just struggling with depression and anxiety constantly.
[20:42:52] He was really funny and creative as well and great and talking about anything with.
[20:43:34] maggabelle: Was he struggling with substances besides alcohol?
[20:45:25] dakin: other than alcohol, he would do something with sleeping pills I guess?  and also he could make something from some grocery store nasal spray that's some kinda crude stimulate I think.  
[20:45:51] I don't really know the details of that 100%, because I would always discourage him because it's destructive.
[20:46:28] NattyKnight: alcohol was the big one, there was dabbling in some other stuff but nothing as bad
[20:46:40] maggabelle: I'm really glad he had people to support him
[20:47:00] When we were together he was ordering research chemicals and using those as well as taking his mom's meds
[20:47:14] He started drinking more after he was arrested
[20:48:45] NattyKnight: was taking sleeping pills recreationally which is pretty dangerous, i'm assuming that's kinda related to what happened; his brother was understandably reserved about the final details
[20:49:13] maggabelle: He got aspiration pneumonia actually
[20:49:40] The theory is he was having seizures that he either didn't know about or was ignoring, that caused him to aspirate and get pneumonia 
[20:50:18] dakin: I see
[20:50:21] maggabelle: He was not seeking medical treatment for the seizures. I witnessed what we think was his first seizure in 2011
[20:51:15] dakin: I see.. 
[20:51:18] maggabelle: He had others and his dad witnessed some, but he didn't want to tell his doctor because he was worried they would take away some of his prescriptions. That's what his dad told me
[20:52:22] He was abusing Benadryl from what I understand, but that was unrelated to his death
[20:53:25] dakin: thanks for telling us
[20:53:28] maggabelle: His brother didn't have the autopsy results when he spoke with you either, so they weren't really sure what had happened
[20:53:38] Of course. It sounds like you were really close
[20:54:01] dakin: yeah, miss talking to him a lot
[20:54:18] maggabelle: I really miss him too
[20:54:19] NattyKnight: well, that's better than what we were told before so that's a little bit of closure i guess
[20:55:00] maggabelle: He did have a large amount of Kratom in his system at the time of his death
[20:55:50] dakin: yeah he just replaces one drug for another
[20:56:06] maggabelle: And there was evidence that he had a seizure close to the time of his death as well, but that the pneumonia was  what was the deciding factor
[20:56:22] Kratom is known to cause seizures
[20:56:35] It does seem that way
[20:57:55] We broke up because of the drugs and drinking and I think I always hoped he'd stop and we'd get back together 
[20:58:15] He was so smart and caring
[20:58:25] dakin: he was off alcohol, and got a job... felt like he was making progress so that's why it's sad to me
[20:59:13] he could never face the grief from his mom though, he told me his memories and it was really traumatic what he experienced 
[20:59:33] maggabelle: From when he was younger or from when he was her caretaker? 
[20:59:49] dakin: both 
[21:00:34] maggabelle: She attempted suicide a lot of times and wasn't present to care for him
[21:01:26] From what his brother told me it sounded like his mom wanted to keep him dependent. She would give him her meds to keep him addicted 
[21:01:45] Once he moved back home
[21:01:48] NattyKnight: wow
[21:02:09] maggabelle: She wanted to keep him as a caretaker 
[21:02:30] He told me he was going to get his own place in 2014, but that never happened
[21:02:40] Did he ever mention his cat, Rolo? 
[21:03:04] dakin: I think so
[21:03:11] I think I saw a picture too 
[21:03:32] maggabelle: He loved Rolo so much. We adopted him together
[21:03:57] dakin: he didn't deserve all this shit that happened to him... it's like he rolled so many bad dice
[21:04:06] he could have easily been a great person 
[21:04:51] maggabelle: I think he was, despite everything 
[21:04:58] He likely had undiagnosed ADHD
[21:06:06] which probably led to substance abuse problems 
[21:07:08] You said anger about his mom? Was he mad she died? Mad at her? Mad at the world?
[21:08:22] dakin: He'd only be angry if he was really drunk, and basically just angry at the world.  He'd always talk about his mom constantly when he drank.
[21:10:23] Anyways, yeah it's sad for me to keep going on about all the details.  I am glad to have been his friend.  
[21:10:41] maggabelle: I'm glad he had you all
[21:11:50] Since he shared so much else I'm a little surprised he didn't mention me
[21:12:48] dakin: Well he did mention a girlfriend from highschool, and he seemed to have really fond memories of it, but he was always kinda quiet about it.
[21:12:58] He never even talked about college.
[21:13:17] maggabelle: He only went for 3 semesters
[21:13:55] We started dating senior year of high school 
[21:14:28] Then moved in together over the summer and both started college. He dropped out though
[21:16:21] dakin: I feel like he didn't want to talk about those memories of you because they were likely painful and also he'd feel ashamed to tell us about.
[21:17:24] maggabelle: Could be. I'm sorry to bother you. I'm just having a really hard time with the whole thing
[21:17:33] I feel like I let him down
[21:18:13] dakin: I was really distracted with my own life and barely talked to him in the last couple months... and was really waiting for him to come back so I could have a good talk with him again make sure he was doing ok
[21:18:19] but he never came
[21:18:49] so I feel like I let him down too I guess
[21:19:07] there's other people having a hard time, I mean
[21:19:13] this brazilian guy from here
[21:19:33] had a heart attack  from hearing the news and almost drank himself to death too
[21:19:41] he's just getting out of the hospital today actually I think
[21:20:04] but that's partly because of mark and partly because of his mother also passing
[21:20:29] maggabelle: Wow - that's terrible - I hope he's ok.
[21:20:42] I think Mark wouldn't have wanted his passing to be so painful for so many
[21:21:37] People keep telling me that I wasn't responsible for helping him then because he made his own choices
[21:21:44] I certainly tried
[21:22:11] He started using in 2009 I think - I'm not sure - he hid it for awhile. Then he got arrested in 2010
[21:22:56] And his anxiety and drinking got worse
[21:23:15] When did you meet him?
[21:23:33] dakin: 2014 I think?
[21:23:45] maggabelle: On here?
[21:23:51] dakin: yes
[21:24:25] maggabelle: I don't really even know what this is - do you watch things?
[21:24:26] NattyKnight: everyone has a little damage but he got the level of support one can get at a distance; if using was the cause of the seizures he probably didn't tell us because we'd just tell him to knock it off
[21:25:03] chat and synced video yes
[21:25:19] dakin: you basically post vids and everyone can watch at the same time yeah
[21:25:33] I used to work overnight, so we used to watch entire anime series and stuff with him
[21:26:38] maggabelle: And you all live just all over the world even?
[21:26:54] Never met him or communicated any other way?
[21:27:49] NattyKnight: far as i know keks was one of the few who didn't do meetups and was still anonymous until this happened
[21:27:53] dakin: it's hard to explain but this used to be linked to a thread on the now gone 8chan's video game board
[21:28:38] maggabelle: So you met because you were all interested in video games?
[21:29:11] NattyKnight: mostly US
[21:29:26] dakin: Well it was a sub-thread in the video game forum called 4am, basically like a club for people that stay up all night.
[21:29:26] maggabelle: Why did you call him keks? 
[21:29:45] NattyKnight: his handle
[21:29:59] maggabelle: Does that mean something though? 
[21:30:16] dakin: I don't know
[21:31:03] maggabelle: Ah, so it was just what he chose to go by?
[21:31:27] Buttproblems: it was short for keksimusmaximus
[21:32:05] dakin: just a silly random name yeah
[21:32:16] NattyKnight: just memorable probably
[21:32:24] maggabelle: Ah yeah ok - makes sense
[21:33:23] NattyKnight: but yeah i think i'm the closest at 5 hours away, i offered but kinda hard to just make that kinda drive
[21:33:29] dakin: https://files.catbox.moe/turmo4.PNG
[21:33:35] that's from uh, 2019
[21:33:56] telling us he's going to rehab a second time
[21:34:06] he always told us all about rehab
[21:34:17] he would be friends with all the dudes there and talk with everyone
[21:34:39] and he really earnestly gave it his best each time I think
[21:36:12] maggabelle: I don't doubt that he did
[21:37:15] dakin: well I gotta go to sleep, I have covid and really gotta rest more
[21:37:36] maggabelle: Ok - thanks for talking to me about this. 
[21:38:45] NattyKnight: night dak
[21:38:47] dakin: Sure, and I think this might help the person in brazil a little
[21:39:15] goodnight
[21:40:19] NattyKnight: so what was kooks studying? history?
[21:40:27] maggabelle: Geology 
[21:40:50] He started out as engineering, but switched 
[21:41:09] NattyKnight: i see
[21:42:16] maggabelle: Organized education didn't suit him - and I get it.
[21:42:28] College was always presented as the only path forward to him, same as it was to me
[21:43:36] I just got through it was quick as possible and graduated in 3 years. He chose to just stop
[21:44:04] He was so smart though - if he'd wanted to, he couldn't studied anything 
[21:44:07] could've 
[21:44:22] NattyKnight: kinda curious about other stuff maybe he didn't happen to mention but i don't want to touch on any sore spots
[21:44:48] maggabelle: It's ok - you can ask me anything
[21:46:24] NattyKnight: well alright, him stopping at 3 semesters and his arrest; are those also substance related?
[21:46:40] maggabelle: His arrest was for growing weed
[21:46:44] That was in January of 2010
[21:47:02] He had decided to stop going to school before he was arrested
[21:47:14] But he was using a lot of different substances at the time
[21:47:55] Research chemicals like 2CI, mephadrone, etc but also DXM and weed and benzos. Tramadol too
[21:48:18] He tried the cactus thing - the hallucinogen 
[21:48:33] NattyKnight: peyote or mescaline probably
[21:48:40] maggabelle: Mescaline - that's the one
[21:49:14] NattyKnight: so after the arrest he just wasn't in a state to go back essentially?
[21:49:21] maggabelle: He got a deferred judgement though and just had to do one year probation 
[21:49:28] He had already left, but yeah, his anxiety got really bad
[21:49:58] NattyKnight: dang
[21:50:12] maggabelle: His arrest was really hard
[21:50:33] I was hospitalized and he came straight from getting bailed out to the hospital and stayed with me overnight there
[21:50:52] He was so caring and sweet 
[21:50:52] NattyKnight: the circus of sitting in jail then the courtroom you mean?
[21:51:55] maggabelle: Yeah - I wasn't there for any of that because I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance when he was arrested.. I was really out of it, but I remember he came straight there from after his dad bailed him out
[21:52:10] I was there for 3 days though
[21:52:25] It happened at night - so he spent one night in jail and then his dad bailed him out
[21:52:26] Yakuzafag joined (aliases: Yakuzafag)
[21:52:31] Yakuzafag:  [:'SupDude:] 
[21:52:35] NattyKnight: i see
[21:53:06] maggabelle: He had a lawyer and all that, got a deferred judgement, so it wouldn't stay on his record. One year probation 
[21:53:21] NattyKnight: well it kinda sounds like the damage was one
[21:53:43] maggabelle: What do you mean?
[21:53:53] NattyKnight: well the anxiety and such following that
[21:54:28] maggabelle: I talked to his brother some and his brother said he was always really anxious as a kid too
[21:54:46] I don't remember him being really anxious before his arrest though
[21:55:13] But maybe being in a relationship and him not living at home anymore made a difference 
[21:55:36] But then his arrest and the way the court system works and everything was really hard because it's really unfair and unjust 
[21:55:48] And who cares if he grew some weed
[21:56:29] Yakuzafag: well shit
[21:57:01] NattyKnight: kinda sounds like his parents split, though he didn't explicitly say so, yeah?
[21:57:10] maggabelle: They didn't, no
[21:57:22] His dad stayed with his mom until she committed suicide in 2015
[21:57:33] He wasn't really emotionally in it anymore though
[21:57:38] Yakuzafag: yeah I remember that being mentioned
[21:58:18] maggabelle: His dad I think felt that he owed it to her or something
[21:58:33] To not give up on her even though she had really bad substance abuse problems
[21:58:46] She would go to multiple doctors to get the same prescription twice to abuse it
[21:58:55] And she would order pills online from India or wherever 
[21:58:59] NattyKnight: oh hell
[21:59:30] maggabelle: There were packages of pills stashed all over the house Mark grew up in
[21:59:38] You'd open a drawer and find some
[22:00:49] Neither parent was emotionally very available 
[22:03:22] NattyKnight: dang well thanks for indulging me, that's all i can really think of
[22:04:44] maggabelle: Yeah, no problem, it's easier to recite history than think about him being gone
[22:06:57] Yakuzafag joined (aliases: Yakuzafag)
[22:13:11] NattyKnight: i get that
[22:14:38] it was good when he was around, we leaned on him too a bit
[22:15:20] i had a rough work situation a few years ago, having similar interests it was nice being able to talk with him at night
[22:17:25] maggabelle: He was always a night owl
[22:19:26] Yakuzafag:  not much different myself in that regard  [:fugrootbeer:] 
[22:23:41] also yeah he was real appreciative of my hobbies, always buttered up the peeps here
[22:27:45] maggabelle: That sounds like him
[22:29:41] I've got to get up early tomorrow for work - would it be ok to stop by again? 
[22:32:14] NattyKnight: sure
[22:32:50] maggabelle: Thanks - have a good night
[22:33:07] NattyKnight: same
[22:33:28] Yakuzafag: nighty night