### Free Shipping

It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.

### 24/7 Customer Support

Our AI chat widget is powered by a naive series of if/else statements. Guaranteed to irritate.

### Fast Shopping Cart

Look how fast that cart is going. What does this mean for the actual experience? I don't know.

### Gift Cards

Buy them for your friends, especially if they don't like our store. Free money for us, it's great.