Zer0Rebel4s Official Server
General / vent
Zer0Rebel4 12/09/2019 18:13
Guys im being stalked and im seriously scared
Deleted User 12/09/2019 18:15
punch the stalker when you see them
Zer0Rebel4 12/09/2019 18:16
I dont know where they are as of now.. The person knows my town name and ive never told anyone who doesnt live in nj and ive met irl my town name
AridNecron 12/09/2019 18:36
Sorry zach
AlexFolfsky 12/09/2019 19:27
Thats not good
Zer0Rebel4 12/09/2019 19:27
Mhm..
19:28
So if i figured out that anyone whom knows my town told him
19:28
I swear ill do something regretful..
AlexFolfsky 12/09/2019 20:08
Told who tho?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 15:57
I really hate myself
15:59
I failed almost everything I ever started or attempted
16:00
I dont know what to do with a life with no purpose or meaning
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:02
You matter to me
16:02
You didnt fail me
Strut Stutters 27/09/2019 16:02
Sorry you’re feeling that way today. It’s a crappy way to feel. I’ve felt that plenty of times myself. Failure is how we learn and grow though.
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:02
I failed you last year Zach
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:02
But it wasnt your fault
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:02
I still have the proof
16:03
It was totally my fault
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:03
You had a hard time
16:03
It's ok
16:03
I forgive you
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:03
Nothing I do matters anymore
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:03
You matter to me
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:03
I cant forgive myself for being a failure
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:03
Everything you do matters to me
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:04
The person I hate the most is who I see in a mirror
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:04
But the person i care about is you
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:06
Your poems seem to tell a different story tho
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:06
Youre my friend
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:06
Nothing more tho
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:07
I cant love you, im sorry. But i love you like a friend..
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:07
.......
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:07
Im sorry m.
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:08
Im sorry I left you so abruptly. Im sorry my replacement didnt work out for you. I have to leave now. Im sorry (edited)
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:09
Look.. Is it me whos doing something wrong? Tell me please
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:09
Great, I cant figure out how to leave a server
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:10
Please talk to me here
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:10
PM or here
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:10
Anywhere
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:10
Ok
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:10
You matter to me
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:11
It seems so but not to the extent of the subject of your poems
16:11
I used to matter like that at some point right?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:12
Just because im sad doesnt mean you dont matter to me
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:12
I dont want to upset you any further, so Im gonna take a hiatus. A long one
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:12
Really..?
16:13
I prove that you matter to me by helping you here
Zeheal 27/09/2019 16:13
Poor dude. What put you into this mood?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:13
And you are blind to this... It makes me feel worthless
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:14
I still loved you, but you were blinded by my failure and found another. And that other vanished. But my love didnt (edited)
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:15
Is it really my fault i dont feel the same way? (edited)
16:15
It isnt you specifically, i just dont have feelings for you
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:16
Answer this; Was this feeling the same even before my failure? (edited)
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:16
Yes
16:16
You arent a faliure
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:16
Then I really didnt matter at all
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:16
Youre my friend damn it!
16:17
Am i not allowed to not have love feelings for you?!
16:17
Am i forced to love you?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:17
Nevermind. Im sorry I opened my mouth
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:17
No, its just that i dont have feelings for you, but i wanna be friends with you instead
16:18
Is my friendship nothing to you?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:18
It means a lot to me
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:18
Then why cant you accept that i dont love you?
16:19
If it means so much to you youd accept i dont love you
16:20
Hello?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:22
I respect your answer
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:22
Alright.. You still matter to me very much
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:24
I gotta stop trying so hard
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:24
On?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:24
Trying to achieve the unachievable
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:25
Sometimes we set high standards, but that doesnt mean we are useless (edited)
16:25
Dude
16:25
You just broke a rule
Katsuragikissykissy 27/09/2019 16:25
what
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:26
Rule 11
Katsuragikissykissy 27/09/2019 16:26
WHAT
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:26
This is a warning
Katsuragikissykissy 27/09/2019 16:26
You're not making sense
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:26
Rule 11
Katsuragikissykissy 27/09/2019 16:26
What are you on about
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:27
Did you not read the rules?
16:27
No joking around in vent
Katsuragikissykissy 27/09/2019 16:27
No
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:27
That includes random gibberish
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:49
I dont feel so good anymore (edited)
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:50
Are you sick?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:50
I overdosed
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:51
Go to the hospital!
16:51
You were doing so good!
16:51
Alex, go to the hospital
16:51
You need to get help
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:51
Relax, I just took 2 extra painkillers
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:51
Still!
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:52
Numb the pain I feel right now
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:52
You overdosed!
Zeheal 27/09/2019 16:52
How many did you take, mate?
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:52
Take 2 every 4 hours, I took 4
Zeheal 27/09/2019 16:52
He'll be fine
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:52
Im scared still
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:52
It seems to be working. I cant feel any pain
Zeheal 27/09/2019 16:52
An overdose of painkillers requires twice that number
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:53
Alright.. Dont give anyone ideas
Zeheal 27/09/2019 16:53
but do not, please, do not do that
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:53
If I really want to do so, I would've already done something
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:53
I still worry for you
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:54
You dont have to worry too much
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:54
Why not? I care for you
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:57
I know, but you shouldn't stress too much or over think things
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:57
Kinda hard When im always stressed
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:58
But why tho? What makes you stressed on a daily basis all the time?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:58
School, enemies, home issues, rehab, depression, etc
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:58
Rehab?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:59
Cause my depression
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 16:59
What program you go to
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 16:59
Stress care
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 17:00
I used to go there. Which one you go to?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 17:00
I forget where it is
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 17:00
Behind a ballet school?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 17:00
Yeah
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 17:01
Its on a highway and there's a bunch of industrial buildings around?
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 17:29
Yes
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 17:36
Thats the one I used to go to
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 17:36
Ah
AlexFolfsky 27/09/2019 19:28
Hi
Zer0Rebel4 27/09/2019 20:06
If you wanna talk lets go to #general-chat or dms
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:21
I pretend to be happy for everyone else
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:22
Dont do that, people need to know how you feel, yeah some people may not care but i would care, your friends would care
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:22
Do all of you really wish to know how i feel?
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:22
Other friendly people will care*
00:22
Yeah, so we can all help
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:22
same here
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:23
We love you with our hearts
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:23
ya know i do
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:23
We would help you if it ment cancelling something
00:23
Or, i would
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:24
I fucking hate living in this existence, i want to murder everyone whos hurt me, i just want to fucking kill the entire planet and only leave my friends, my family and their families and good friends, and i just want to end my suffering
00:24
I hear voices still but i lie so i dont have to be forced on too much medication
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:25
hugs zach
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:26
sometimes meds are needed love. trust me, i despise my meds, so i stopped taking them. now i'm all angry all the time. i hated my meds cause they were making me feel sloggish..
MEE6 BOT 27/10/2019 00:26
Sans2020#6039 has been warned
Reason: Capital letters
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:27
but i know if i got back on them, i'd not be so rude to my family
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:27
meds will turn you into a zombie
00:27
dont take em
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:27
oi
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:27
Dont say that
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:27
not the messege
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:27
everyone give zach your love they need it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:27
I hate everything
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:27
you're free to your opinion Music, but there's a time and place for it
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:27
I love you zach
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:27
well that was the time
00:27
cus uwere talking about it
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:28
i love you too zach
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:28
no, cause he's in a very bad spot, taking meds will help him relax abit, i know it will. there are hundreds of years behind the research into medications
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:29
not really hundreds
00:29
more like
00:29
50
00:29
ish
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:29
the medical field existed all the way back in the Greeks. there is proof that even they took a type of daily med
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:30
yeah but
00:30
yknow
00:30
medicine changes
00:30
they didnt do oxy back way when
[Username] 27/10/2019 00:30
Calling that the medical field is a stretch.
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:30
eh, still.
00:31
Zach should get back on meds,
[Username] 27/10/2019 00:31
Like, people used to drink mercury for medical uses.
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:31
just don't OD
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:31
no
00:31
just
00:31
get help
00:31
mentally
00:31
dont take those wacky pills
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:32
no caps
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:32
those pills fry your brain
00:32
yeah no caps
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:32
damn it how can't i give my messege out without caps
00:32
its like im yelling and its needed
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:32
caps make you sound childish
00:33
i barely ever use all caps (edited)
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:33
that's you not me
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:33
yea
00:34
dont judge him
00:34
by his cap use
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:34
and music. why you so anti-drug?
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:34
why would i be
00:34
for drug
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:34
i'm not judging, i'm stating what it comes across as is all...
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:34
it seems like ur judging
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:35
i don't judge, i hate judgemental shit
Deleted User 27/10/2019 00:35
well then
00:35
dont judge him then
00:35
judging is bad
00:35
for mental health
00:35
for both parties
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:41
I want to kill myseld
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:41
please dont
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:41
Dont...
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:41
no please no
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:41
My family cant pay for my medication anymore
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:42
they pay for it because its worth it zach...
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:42
No they literally stopped paying for it
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:42
Wha-
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:42
They literally are unable to pay for it
00:42
I dont have medication till next year
00:42
Around like febuary
00:42
I also dont have a legal doctor yet
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:43
Zach.. i hope youll be okay in the future
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:43
I was, well, "in trouble" so i lost my insurance
00:43
So i pretty much have nothing now
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:43
You have us zach
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:43
ya and what 'did you do' to get insurance tooken away
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:44
I have severe insomnia and schizoaffective disorder and without my medications i will literally go through hell
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:45
Do you have a paypal?, i cant send money but im sure others can to help
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:46
Im already trying to pay for my dogs medical bills due to her seizure. She's more important than me
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:46
i-, i cant say anything about that
00:47
Zach, can you handle things by yourself?, ill still be on your side but i need to know how much you need to be helped
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:47
im the same Jessie
Nervile 27/10/2019 00:49
I love you zach
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:49
i wuv you
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 00:51
I dont need anything
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:54
isnt helping
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:54
sorry
Zeheal 27/10/2019 00:54
i know you have good intentions
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 00:55
you and zach are my oldest and closest online friends
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:02
I hate myself
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:03
please no
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:03
I hate living
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:03
again please no
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:05
Why am i forced to live a fucking shitty life just so everyone else is happy
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:10
i'll can i try to make your life better
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:10
But it isnt
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:12
......
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:12
My life is worthless
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:13
its not
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:14
It feels like it
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:15
hugs you
AlexFolfsky 27/10/2019 01:49
Zach. Ive said this before. I'll say it again. You matter. You matter to your friends. You matter to your family. You matter to me. You matter to us. You are loved. (edited)
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 27/10/2019 01:50
so true alexa
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:53
Then why am i forced through so much pain
[Username] 27/10/2019 01:56
Hey, I don't want you to take this as me trying to diminish how you feel, but everyone has their own trials and the only part that really matters is how you come out of it.
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 01:59
I understand..
[Username] 27/10/2019 02:00
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSI3_F0RAzs Here, give this a listen.
Suns Tube
Bite, Scratch & Claw by The Bastard Suns
02:00
It's a nice song and sums up my view pretty well.
Zer0Rebel4 27/10/2019 15:42
Update on the medicine thing: Its the third (i think) day without my unisom, latuda and paxil. I dont feel much different other than sleep deprived. I only got like 3 hours of sleep last night, so im tired as all hell
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:01
I woke up from my slight overdose
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:01
On what?
15:01
Was it bad?
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:01
Sleeping meds
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:02
Mm..
15:02
Well, maybe you should rest a bit more ok?
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:02
It wasnt bad, nor was it intentional. I took a bit more than the recommended dose to sleep longer
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:02
As long as it wasnt anything harmful. Ive overdosed on melatonin and it had no ill effects
15:02
Ahh, then you should be fine. Ive done that many times
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:03
Gonna see my parents tomorrow
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:03
Are you excited to?
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:03
Should make me feel happier
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:03
Hopefully it goes well ^^
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:04
Hell, maybe I'll see you
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:04
I may be busy tomorrow, so ill have to see
AlexFolfsky 02/11/2019 15:05
Ill be up at moms til Tuesday night
Zer0Rebel4 02/11/2019 15:08
Ah
vomitknives 03/11/2019 22:53
I had been self harm free for nearly a year and ive fucked it all up
Zer0Rebel4 03/11/2019 23:02
Im so sorry... Relapse is a part of repair.. It isnt your fault, we all have our moments in where we break
vomitknives 03/11/2019 23:04
I dont know what to do
Zer0Rebel4 03/11/2019 23:05
Just clean it... Use rubbing alcohol and bandage it.. I know it will hurt but you dont want it to get infected
vomitknives 03/11/2019 23:06
Ok thank you
Zer0Rebel4 03/11/2019 23:07
Im here for you.. Itll only get worse if you dont clean it.. My uncle used to cut, and he got a severe infection which lead to him having to get a skin graft..
Zer0Rebel4 04/11/2019 21:58
god im fucking sick of this. Every fucking thing is making me tick off. One person says the littlest thing that SOUNDS rude? I have to PHYSICALLY STOP MYSELF from cursing them out and flipping out. And this is all because of what? My fucking insurance. They wont supply me with medications, they wont allow me to get treatment from any psychologist, physician or doctor unless we pay for it (spoiler, we are broke as shit due to the insurance scamming us and saying "oh we can pay for this" then not paying for it at all) and they wont send ambulances to our house and or family thats under no insurance unless we pay a fuck ton. This is all because my insurance said im "too mentally ill to treat attiquitely" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! LIKE YOURE SPEAKING COMPLETE FUCKING GIBBERISH YOU BUFFOON. I honestly hate america i swear. I get that the hospitals have to take a fuck ton of money because their "doctors are so great" and "the taxes would be fucked" (THE TAXES ARE ALREADY FUCKED IN MY STATE, SO THIS ISNT EVEN HELPING) And on the doctors, why did the doctor say, when was having a legit fucking seizure, that i needed to "walk it off" WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR FUCKING DEGREE?! THE UNIVERSITY OF DUCKS?! CAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING QUACK Honestly its been 3 fucking weeks without medication and feeling suicidal and just im done. Ive realised that im unable to feel happiness anymore and im done. I fucking c cant. I gave up on trying to be happy, because its too much work to try.. (edited)
Zer0Rebel4 08/11/2019 20:23
This creep has been stalking me for 2 fucking years after i rejected him. Hes the person who raided this server. Its starting to get old
20:23
Deleted User 08/11/2019 21:00
Damn
AlexFolfsky 08/11/2019 21:54
I took too much happy candy
Zer0Rebel4 08/11/2019 21:56
What do you mean by that?
21:57
Alexa?
vomitknives 10/11/2019 19:00
My mum is on her way home and i just took 10 random pills and i dont know what to do
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 19:00
You shouldnt have overdosed.. What lead to it?
vomitknives 10/11/2019 19:03
I was just thinking about everything ive done wrong and what people have said, ive been blamed for my friends suicide and i cant take feeling like this anymore
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 19:07
You have us though.. You havent and never will fail us because you can fail 100000 times and I'll still love you
vomitknives 10/11/2019 19:08
Yeah i know but sometimes it just gets too much and i dont know any other way out
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 19:10
Understandable..
19:11
But you must remember that we care about you very much
19:11
Please.. Tell your mother what happened and get to the hospital..
vomitknives 10/11/2019 20:31
I can’t tell my mummy
20:31
Mum*
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 20:35
You have to
20:35
You could die
vomitknives 10/11/2019 20:35
I cant she’d flip at me
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 20:35
So? You could DIE
20:36
You dont know what you took, you need to go to the hospital now
20:36
You're not ok
vomitknives 10/11/2019 20:36
Ill tell my sister when she gets home but i cant tell my mum
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 20:36
You could die..
20:36
Please, tell your mother
vomitknives 10/11/2019 20:37
Ill figure something out..
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 20:37
No
20:37
Tell your mother
20:37
Please
20:37
For me
20:37
You could fucking die
20:37
Im not letting you die
Zer0Rebel4 10/11/2019 23:07
8 fucking years, 8 fucking years you guys were dating. Do you know how much id beg for that kind of love? And you threw it away. Disgrace, thats what you are. Nothing but a disgrace. Im not stupid, i heard what you did October 31st, getting drunk and shit. Disgusting. You are a disgusting creature. If i ever met you in person again, i would shove you into a deepfrier, then feed you to 10 hungry obese middle age men, because thats how disgusting you are. Too pussy to respond to a 15 year old? Its funny, lol, i thought you wouldve put up a fight. You really are a disgrace. Because you know what you are, you really do. Thats why you dont respond. So i hope you gain something from this, because if you dont, one day youll be so drunk, that youll end up in jail and your holes will be resized. And this is a fucking warning you piece of shit: get out of her basement, and find something good for your life, because you mean nothing to me, her or anyone now. The only people who will even care for you are the prison inmates who will call you pretty boy. Goodbye, you fucking imicile. I despise and loathe your arrogant ass. Never show your face near me or her family again Not directed to anyone here
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 10/11/2019 23:08
hugs you its ok
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 00:12
Me: does something wrong Mom: lectures me for 30 minutes, breaks down crying and begins to blame me for her being "unable to fix everything", makes me feel like shit Me: tries to lighten mood an hour later Mom: gives me additude in front of whole family and proceeds to embarass me by listing every fault ive done Mom: attempts to hold my hand during prayer (my grandparents force us to do prayer) Me: afraid she will yell at me, and does not hold her hand Mom: "of course, cause its my fault huh? You can live with your dad because thats how this is gonna end up" then proceeds to make me do manual labour after dinner, and knows i hate touching other peoples food so forces me to do dishes without gloves Me: "oh im ok" Everyone wonders why i hate my mom
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 00:13
oof
Zeheal 11/11/2019 00:18
drake... this isn't a joke..
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 00:18
ik -_-
Zeheal 11/11/2019 00:18
then please don't use oof...
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 00:18
fine
Zeheal 11/11/2019 00:19
thank you
vomitknives 11/11/2019 21:01
I cant do fuck all right i cant even kill myself correctly what the fuck is wrong with me one of my friends told me to go away and i said i tried and she said well you didn’t do a very good job and i want to die so bad,,
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 21:50
Im here for anyone who wants a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen or a helping paw
Nervile 11/11/2019 21:52
@vomitknives fuck em, he dont know what a good job really is
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 21:53
I know how awful it is to be alone, nobody to turn to, nothing to help you.... Its a horrific feeling when you feel like you're drowning in a community pool full of other people and nobody notices or saves you (edited)
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 21:55
^
21:55
I care alot about you, and i dont want you to end yourself over someone who doesnt deserve you. Your life is YOURS, and no one has the right to make you end it
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 21:55
I want to try to be the lifeguard
vomitknives 11/11/2019 21:56
I dont know who to tell or what to do anymore, i feel so low like ive hit rock bottom and i cant climb back out again and i just dont want to be here anymore, im barely able to concentrate in school and its hard to get happy or anything i just have these constant thoughts about killing myself and last night when i tried and it didn’t work i don’t know i want to try again but i don’t want to upset my mum i cant talk to anyone about it because theyll think im searching for attention
21:56
I just want to disappear
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 21:57
I know how that feels as well... It feels like nothing but wanting to die matters
21:58
It feels like the suffering wont end and the only person willing to end it is yourself but you cant even do that because youre afraid of whats after death..
21:58
That's just my take on it
21:58
Sorry if i misunderstood
vomitknives 11/11/2019 21:59
Yeah thats what im feeling i just dont know what to do anymore
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 21:59
Sadly, the only thing we can do is wait..
vomitknives 11/11/2019 22:00
Its been a year and things are just getting worse
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:00
Because nothing is unable to fix us other than time
22:00
Sometimes time cant even fix our wounds
22:01
Im sorry if i made this worse
vomitknives 11/11/2019 22:01
I just wish i could go back in time yknow to when i was happy and when he was still around,,
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:01
I feel that too... I just wish everything was back to normal..
vomitknives 11/11/2019 22:05
I just wish I actually told him what he meant to me
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:05
And i just wish mine cared for what my feelings were instead of lying..
vomitknives 11/11/2019 22:05
lets just hope things get better
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:06
Hope.. I wish i even had the strength to hope
22:06
You though
22:06
You can
22:06
And i applaud you for that
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 22:07
you can have people support ya zach like me
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:07
Its more complicated than that drake
22:07
I know i have people to support me
22:07
But its not that i dont know that i have people who support, and not that i dont care Its depression. And depression is hard to bypass
22:08
Aheagold is more important as of now
22:08
Sorry for making this about me i didnt mean to
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:09
I got denied social security
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 22:10
welcome to the club
22:10
i was but i fought the law and wan ^^
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:10
You got social security?
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 22:10
yee
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:10
I gotta hire a lawyer
Karxde (Carn-Dux) 11/11/2019 22:10
yep
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:12
Maybe I can sue the police for making me a criminal due to a suicide attempt
22:13
I want my life back that was violently taken from me
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:13
Same here...
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:14
The police didnt save my life, they annihilated it
22:15
Gave me more reason to die
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:22
But you have me
22:22
And all of us
22:22
Who want to help bring your life back together
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:38
I feel that
22:38
My dad died 3 years ago
22:39
After he died
22:39
My mom didn't even give us time to mourn
22:40
She just brought in some fat bastard who then started telling us this and that and to be this and not be that
22:40
He started calling us worthless little shits
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:40
Im sorry for the loss you experienced..
22:40
And im sorry this is happening to you
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:40
Yeah and its not even the worst thing
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:40
I dont know what to say other than im sorry
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:40
Now, there's an entire room full of food, a whole ass fridge, a microwave, a toaster oven, an air fryer. ALL IN ONE ROOM
22:41
That is locked
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:41
Jesus
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:41
And we can't even access it
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:41
Thats fucked up
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:41
yeah
22:41
ANYBODY
22:41
With common sense
22:41
would agree
22:41
Because for one
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:41
You should be able to access ut
22:41
It*
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:41
His excuse is "he has diabetes"
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:41
Im sorry is he mentally disabled? (edited)
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:42
Bitch maybe don't go and hoard a bunch of goddamn food then leave someone else's kids to fend for themselves
22:42
If you really wanna be a father figure take care of them
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:42
He can't be diabetic, with him consuming that much food
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:42
And stop telling them that they're in a fantasy world WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE BLASTING HEAVY METAL EVERY HOUR THAT WE'RE AWAKE
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:42
Fucking asshole
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:42
Yeah
22:42
I know that karma may get me
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:43
No offense but i hope he rots
Deleted User 11/11/2019 22:43
But I really hope karma gets him first and he croaks
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:43
Mhm
Zeheal 11/11/2019 22:44
He sure likes food, can't wait for him to choke on it
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:47
I am loved here
Zer0Rebel4 11/11/2019 22:47
Yes you are loved here alexa
22:47
By me, and everyone else
AlexFolfsky 11/11/2019 22:50
You are loved too
22:52
Everyone is loved here in this server
AlexFolfsky 23/11/2019 23:06
I can’t seem to be happy anymore
23:06
But I dislike pretending to be happy when I’m not
Zeheal 23/11/2019 23:11
jeez.. um. well idk what to say
23:11
sry..
ЯΣXGΛЯDIӨП 24/11/2019 02:56
Relatable @AlexFolfsky but no one is forcing u are they?
02:57
If not just be urself u do u until something comes along and makes u happy which should be soon one day
Exported 407 message(s)
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