KOCHIKAME
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, here it is!
Big waves, small waves, tiny waves and middle-size waves
Here they come on the southern wind
Big boobs, small boobs, tiny boobs and middle-size boobs
At the beach Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle!
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here
Ah, summer's here again
It's come, it's arrived, it's here already!
Big waves, small waves, tiny waves and middle-size waves
Here they come on the southern wind
Big butts, small butts, tiny butts and middle-size butts
At the beach Bounce, bounce, bounce!
Here they come on the southern wind
Bouncing at the beach Jiggling at the beach
Want you!
ROWDY, RECKLESS TROUBLEMAKERS!
Recently in Tokyo, especially in our jurisdiction,
there have been a string of traffic accidents.
So, a road safety workshop will be held in this district next week.
All members of this police station will also participate as instructors.
I want you to think of ideas for teaching kids to understand...
All these accidents are a big problem, Ryotsu.
I agree, sir.
There's a guy who races around on his bicycle.
What a jerk.
And a guy who cycles through red lights.
Must be a jerk too.
And a guy who crashes his bicycle into a grocery storefront.
He's an idiot.
And a guy who ignores people and keeps building plastic models.
That's outrageous.
You idiot! Those are all things you did!
I'm listening!
Building plastic models helps me to stay focused!
Don't be silly! You can't get away with such nonsense!
It's the same as your tea drinking!
Don't compare plastic models to tea!
What about the road safety workshop?
No idea.
Anyway, come up with some accident prevention ideas before the event!
Gimme a break.
How to prevent accidents? Easy!
Nobody should drive a car.
I'm very busy building this plastic model. Damn it!
Umm, excuse me.
Yes, can I help you?
Well, is Ryotsu here?
Hey! It's Honda!
It's been a while.
Ryo-chan's junior?
Nice to meet you. I'm Honda, traffic police.
Actually, I'm going to move into the same dorm as Ryotsu soon,
so I came to say hello today.
"I'M HONDA. NICE TO MEET YOU!" "SURARA"
Oh, it looks delicious!
I baked it myself. It's a chocolate cake.
Don't you think Surara-chan's face is cute?
Surara-chan?
She's an anime heroine.
Surara, Girl of the Highlands is very popular at the moment.
Her voice actress, Maya Katsuragi, is also super cute!
Don't say "super."
But...
Hell yeah!
I'm the best damn biker there is!
The group of speeding bikers, stop at once!
There's no way they'll stop!
Hey! Stop!
I'm scared!
Scary, scary, bike gangs are scary.
They're speeding like crazy.
Komachi and Naoko are chasing them.
That tiny police car won't give up!
Our machines are much better than theirs!
It's no use. We're too slow.
-This car is no match for modified bikes. -Stop! Wait! Behave yourselves!
Somebody, stop those bikers!
Honda!
Yes!
Hey, you came here by bike, right?
Y-Yes, I never go anywhere without my bike.
Good! Honda, you chase the bikers!
What?
They're so scary. I'm not good at such...
Just get on your bike!
D-Do I have to?
You're worth a thousand men!
I don't thinkâ€”
No, I can't do it!
Stop grumbling and get on the bike!
Stop, Ryo-chan!
I feel sorry for Officer Honda.
Just get on it already!
No, Ryotsu...
All right! I'm going all out again today!
W-Who is this guy...?
I'm Honda, traffic police!
Amazing bike technique!
You ready, Ryotsu?
Sure, let's go!
Let's rock!
What happened to him?
It's like he's a different person than before.
Hey, stop your bikes!
We can't see them anymore.
What was that?
It looked like a police motorcycle.
A burnished silver carburetor! Soul-stirring exhaust notes!
My heart is always revved up!
It's shaking me up my butt!
There you are! I've got you, cockroaches!
Yikes, it's a cop bike! Let's get outta here!
You think you can get away from me?
Stop right there, you jerks!
What the heck?
What happened?
Yeah!
You came too late, ladies.
I, Honda, have kicked them to the curb!
He's so cool!
What happened?
D-Did Officer Honda really do this?
Yes, that's right!
Honda used to be in a biker gang.
He's now a motorcycle cop in the traffic police,
but once he gets on his bike, his personality totally changes.
He's called the Devil on Two Wheels, feared by everyone on the streets.
The Devil...
On Two Wheels...
The engine is warmed up.
You wanna go on another ride, Ryotsu?
Yeah, go for it!
The Devil on Two Wheels...
No way...
I think that traffic light was red.
Ha, I don't care.
It ain't a violation if nobody sees us, you know.
They saw us!
Imagine ignoring a traffic light in front of Honda. Poor guy!
I'm feeling hot, baby!
Hey, shouldn't we stop?
If I don't wanna stop, I'm not gonna.
What are you doing?
This is an aerial attack!
License, please!
W-what are you doing?
What are you doing, ignoring the traffic lights?
I'm sorry!
Did he have to go this far?
Hey, move your car right now!
B-But the engine is...
What? You're saying it's my fault?
Uh, no, it's...
You got something to say? Huh?
You idiots!
Even if they broke the law, you destroyed three bikes and a car,
as well as causing a huge traffic jam!
What makes you think this is okay?
-I'm sorry... -In the first place...
Come on, Chief. Honda regrets what he did.
Let's give him a break for today.
You encouraged him, didn't you?
No way! That's ridiculous!
He said he wanted to go.
You told me to go, Ryotsu...
Don't be silly, Honda-kun. I never said that.
So, you were the ringleader after all.
Well, I just...
No more excuses!
Ryotsu! Your punishment is to read 100 traffic safety books!
-Eek! -I'm sorry!
Finish all of them before the workshop!
Jeez! All of these?
It's complete.
Powered by a 1,750 horsepower, two-stage, three-speed supercharged engine,
a German masterpiece that streaked through the skies of Europe,
The Junkers Jumo 213H, also known as the Tank 152.
Ryo-chan, are you studying traffic safety?
If you don't read the books, the chief will shout at you again.
Who can read books like these?
And you can't criticize me while you're playing with a doll.
I'm not playing. The chief asked me to make a doll.
We're going to use it in the road safety workshop.
The chief wants to do a car crash test
on this doll that looks like you.
W-What? Crash a car into a doll that looks like me?
I won't let him!
Typical of that sneaky chief!
He's gonna take out his grudges on this doll!
Who's sneaky?
Sneaky Chief... Uh, I mean I wanna eat streaky beef...
Not my best joke.
I'm so glad to see you're doing well.
You promised to read 100 traffic safety books by tomorrow's workshop.
Y-Yes, I did.
Be sure to come tomorrow, Ryotsu.
Of course.
I'm so excited for tomorrow, I may not sleep tonight!
I'm counting on you to play a big role.
What's with that creepy laugh?
"KAMEARI DRIVING SCHOOL ROAD SAFETY WORKSHOP"
Has Ryotsu arrived yet? He'd better not have run away.
I think he'll come.
No matter how much he complains,
he's someone who can't go against what his chief says.
Even if he's late, he'll just walk over with a calm expression.
He might even skip over with a big smile, saying, "Hello there."
I can't stand that attitude of his.
That's going too far.
Sorry I'm late, Chief!
What were you doing, Ryotsu? What time do you call this?
Well, my alarm clock suddenly stopped. It's not my fault.
And then my bike got a flat tire and the bus didn't come.
So I had no choice but to run all the way here. It's true!
You idiot! Don't blame others for everything!
Chief, people are watching.
Oh, I don't blame you. Your alarm broke and the bus was late.
And you've studied the traffic laws like I asked, haven't you?
O-Of course, sir.
From head to toe, I'm full of traffic safety!
Oh, they're laughing!
Stop fooling around!
Chief, we're in front of people.
Well, you wrapped difficult traffic signs in a gag to teach everyone.
What a good and nice idea.
That's okay. You have your role to play.
You're up to something, Chief. But so am I.
Sounds like we might be in for a scary road safety workshop.
Do you think it'll be okay?
Well, to protect people in this district from traffic accidents and crimes,
we're working day and night.
However, in traffic safety, each of you...
The "if I show up late, it'll be over" plan failed, huh?
Time for plan B.
Hey, Honda! Can you hear me?
What? I can't do such a thing.
Besides, I'm on patrol... Well, I am kind of slacking off.
You dare disobey me?
Okay, okay! I'll go!
Good.
Jeez, I have no choice.
I'm on it, Ryotsu!
...So, we hope you'll take this opportunity...
Come on, this isn't a karaoke bar for old men.
Stop hogging the microphone.
Officer Ryotsu!
W-What is it, sir?
Please prepare the road safety corner for kids.
"ROAD SAFETY CORNER FOR KIDS"
Hello, boys and girls.
You are so small that it's difficult for car drivers to see you.
So, please be careful.
Okay!
Chief, you're trying to make fun of me for your own enjoyment.
When you cross a crosswalk, make sure you put your hand up.
Okay!
Kankichi-chan, watch out!
Just like this, you never know when a car might suddenly pull out.
-So be careful. -Got it!
Damn it...
Next, bicycle accidents are common among elementary school children.
The most common bicycle accident involves turning trucks.
Let's recreate the scene here.
Damn, this is ridiculous!
Why do I have to dress like this?
Hey! Don't forget you're an elementary school kid!
Kankichi-kun!
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Good.
Let's start with a left turn.
Cyclists should be especially careful of large trucks.
When a large truck turns at an intersection like this,
its rear wheels could hit this boy due to the different paths
taken by the front and rear wheels.
I'm going to demonstrate this with this boy, so please watch closely.
Chief! Don't hit my head so many times!
I'm not Chief!
I'm a large truck driver!
Demonstrate it properly, little kid!
All right, everyone!
This guy! Keep your eyes on this guy!
Now, let's start.
When a truck turns,
the rear wheels can move further inward than expected.
As a result, the truck will definitely run over that boy.
Damn it! I won't fall for his trap so easily!
Watch. The rear wheels move further inward, and this boy...
-That's so lame! -It didn't hit him!
He dodged me on purpose.
If I don't do anything, I'll lose their respect...
Damn you, Ryotsu!
That was an example of how you might escape and possibly save your life.
But you can't escape every time.
Next is the real demonstration.
Brace yourself, Ryotsu. I won't miss this time!
Playtime is over.
I'll dodge as many times as needed. I won't let you have your way!
Here I go!
You must be careful when riding parallel to trucks like this!
Hey! Bikes can't go faster than trucks!
It's to survive the traffic war!
I won't let you get away!
Like this, a truck could push you off the road at any time.
Please be careful, everyone.
You got him!
Damn it! A truck jumped and spun into me. That's a lot more than a push!
Boom!
Like squabbling kids.
I don't think this is a road safety workshop at all.
In this unpredictable traffic war, let's survive by following the rules!
"Unpredictable"? You'll regret saying that.
I'll make you understand what that word really means, Chief!
Next, 50cc motorcycle accidents, which are also common among women.
Even a 50cc scooter can actually go quite fast.
So, please make sure to ride safely.
Thank you for waiting.
Chief, please show them an example of how to drive safely.
Well, all right.
I've been waiting for this moment. Come on, get on the bike!
Ryotsu, you're up to something.
First, straddle the bike with the stand down.
Of course, don't forget to wear a helmet.
Before you start the engine and set off, check the surroundings carefully and...
What the heck! It started running on its own!
The handlebars and brakes don't work!
Everyone, this is a bad example!
I've modified that scooter to be radio controlled.
Somebody, stop it! What's wrong with this scooter?
Now, Honda! Burst in!
Roger!
Yeah! All-out safe driving!
H-Honda! Why are you here?
Check behind you!
R-Ryotsu! Did you do this?
Please don't ever drive like this.
No one's listening. They are all glued to Honda.
What an idiot! Honda, just show them how to drive safely!
Next, let's experiment with a more dangerous car accident,
using this ugly doll.
Damn you, Chief. You're gonna make a fool of me.
-A real Ferrari! Amazing! -Wow!
As you can see, even at just under 20 kph, there's a lot of damage.
Now, let's increase the speed,
and continue the experiment to see how much the doll can withstand.
Poor Ryo-chan doll!
It's as if the real me is being tortured.
Hey, Ryotsu.
You gonna sit back and watch this happen?
No..., I'm Kankichi Ryotsu,
not the kind of man who would let himself be humiliated!
Next, let's try the experiment at 60 kph.
Will the doll be able to withstand it?
Even though it's a doll, I'm not really comfortable, but...
Doesn't matter! Do it!
Hold it right there!
Hey! A bike shouldn't fall from the sky!
The traffic war is unpredictable, isn't it, Chief?
Damn it! He's determined to interrupt the workshop.
Go, Nakagawa!
Yes, sir.
What are you doing? Can't you catch up?
No. On such a narrow road, the bike has the advantage.
What are you doing? Get going!
No, I can't! There's oil spread on the road.
I can't move forward or turn!
What?
Serves you right!
The traffic war is really scary.
You never know when someone might suddenly spill oil on the road.
Gosh dang it, Ryotsu!
All right! Let's finish it in one shot.
Are you sure, Ryotsu?
What's an ex-biker like you so afraid of?
If you're gonna do it, go all the way!
Okay! Let's do it!
Let's dance and rock 'n' roll!
Yeah!
What are they doing?
Ryo-chan!
Wow! Is this possible?
Huh? Quit trembling back there, Ryotsu!
Here we go!
Wow! So cool!
Oh, they love it!
Yeah! All out with double peace signs!
"If you try, you can do it." This is the basic rule of the world!
That's enough!
Oh... Oh no!
Come on! The workshop isn't over yet.
-What are you doing, Chief? -Oh no! Stop scaring me!
-Jeez! -So lame!
Thank you all for attending this long workshop today.
Now, we'll give the final demonstration.
Two police officers, prepared to risk their lives,
take on a car-to-car crash test.
Please don't try this yourselves.
Do it, Nakagawa! Crash into them at 100 kph!
-Are you sure? -I don't care. Just do it!
Chief! Get us out!
I'm sorry, Chief!
Stop!
We're not crash test dummies!
TODAY'S DAMAGE REPORT
3 BIKES, 1 CAR, 1 RYOTSU DUMMY
All right! There's a party at Nakagawa's house tomorrow.
It's a birthday party for the prince of the Kingdom of Hondara.
Since it's Nakagawa's house, I bet there'll be a ton of food.
Okay, from today, I'm skipping food so I'll be extra hungry.
NEXT EPISODE A VISIT TO THE NAKAGAWA RESIDENCE
Don't miss it!
Let's keep smiling always
Even when things go wrong
Keep a pretty smile on your face
And go out as if nothing happened
Hey, show me your smile
You did nothing wrong
Hey, show me your smile
Just like you did before, yeah
I want you to smile always
A woman with a frown isn't pretty
So you should smile as soon as you can
It's the grown-up thing to do
KOCHIKAME SEE YOU NEXT TIME!