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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History » Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:17 pm

Proper drunk reviews require Frank to need to drink to get through it. Not World of Darkness: Gypsies, because that would cause liver damage, but maybe World of Darkness: Mummies.
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shau
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Post by shau » Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:16 pm

I vote for DMG 2.
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Emerald
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Post by Emerald » Sun Feb 03, 2013 5:51 am

> shau wrote:I vote for DMG 2.

Seconded.
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koz
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Post by koz » Sun Feb 03, 2013 10:40 am

> Emerald wrote:

> > shau wrote:I vote for DMG 2.

> Seconded.

Thirded. May I also suggest Frank review a Rifts sourcebook? Especially one of the more insane ones?
Everything I learned about DnD, I learned from Frank Trollman.

> Kaelik wrote:You are so full of Strawmen that I can only assume you actually shit actual straw.

> souran wrote:...uber, nerd-rage-inducing, minutia-devoted, pointless blithering shit.

> Schwarzkopf wrote:The Den, your one-stop shop for in-depth analysis of Dungeons & Dragons and distressingly credible threats of oral rape.

> DSM wrote:Apparently, The GM's Going To Punch You in Your Goddamned Face edition of D&D is getting more traction than I expected. Well, it beats playing 4th. Probably 5th, too.

> Frank Trollman wrote:Giving someone a mouth full of cock is a standard action.

> PoliteNewb wrote:If size means anything, it's what position you have to get in to give a BJ.

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erik
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Post by erik » Sun Feb 03, 2013 3:00 pm

> Mister_Sinister wrote:a Rifts sourcebook? Especially one of the more insane ones?

That's really all of them.
• The Core book is the root of insanity.
• Vampire Kingdoms has well... a fucking 50,000 credit magic water sprinkler hat for starters.
• Atlantis has a conspiracy of an evil sneaky ancient race that might appeal to the male 13-year old target audience, as they conceal their identity by spelling their name in English backwards.
... aaaand so on.
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OgreBattle
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Post by OgreBattle » Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:04 pm

Rifts China 1 and 2 are the best sourcebooks they ever made cause its wujcik
But if you drunk review its gotta be Rifts Atlantis
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koz
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Post by koz » Sun Feb 03, 2013 6:10 pm

Well, in that case, I would like Frank to review Rifts: Atlantis.
Everything I learned about DnD, I learned from Frank Trollman.

> Kaelik wrote:You are so full of Strawmen that I can only assume you actually shit actual straw.

> souran wrote:...uber, nerd-rage-inducing, minutia-devoted, pointless blithering shit.

> Schwarzkopf wrote:The Den, your one-stop shop for in-depth analysis of Dungeons & Dragons and distressingly credible threats of oral rape.

> DSM wrote:Apparently, The GM's Going To Punch You in Your Goddamned Face edition of D&D is getting more traction than I expected. Well, it beats playing 4th. Probably 5th, too.

> Frank Trollman wrote:Giving someone a mouth full of cock is a standard action.

> PoliteNewb wrote:If size means anything, it's what position you have to get in to give a BJ.

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Prak
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Post by Prak » Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:03 pm

> erik wrote:

> > Mister_Sinister wrote:a Rifts sourcebook? Especially one of the more insane ones?

> That's really all of them.
> • The Core book is the root of insanity.
> • Vampire Kingdoms has well... a fucking 50,000 credit magic water sprinkler hat for starters.
> • Atlantis has a conspiracy of an evil sneaky ancient race that might appeal to the male 13-year old target audience, as they conceal their identity by spelling their name in English backwards.
> ... aaaand so on.

Also, the core book's cover has two races on it that are not actually introduced until... Atlantis, actually, I think...
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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Korgan0
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Post by Korgan0 » Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:41 pm

The 4e DMG 2 sounds pretty good, but I honestly thought Frank's Shadowbeat review was excellent.
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Ted the Flayer
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Post by Ted the Flayer » Tue Feb 05, 2013 1:06 am

I think I'm going to do a drunken review of Draconomicon. If there is demand, I might go through all the 3e/3.5 monster supplements.
I am picking those because there is so much to like, and so much giant frog as well.
I might be tempted to do the Book of Vile Darkness/Exalted Deeds at some point. I have fewer fond memories of them, other than the giant horse queen in BoED triggered three or four fetishes I didn't realize I had before then...

> Prak Anima wrote:Um, Frank, I believe you're missing the fact that the game is glorified spank material/foreplay.

> Frank Trollman wrote:I don't think that is any excuse for a game to have bad mechanics.

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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt » Tue Feb 05, 2013 1:29 am

Another vote for 4e DMG2!
Ted, there is demand, at least from me.

> Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).

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Koumei
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Post by Koumei » Tue Feb 05, 2013 1:42 am

Either Atlantis or Atlantis 2: Splugorth Boogaloo Splynn Markets has a picture of a snake smoking from a hookah.
That basically sums Rifts up. Hell, that snake is probably the editor.

> Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

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erik
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Post by erik » Tue Feb 05, 2013 2:05 am

> Koumei wrote:Either Atlantis or Atlantis 2: Splugorth Boogaloo Splynn Markets has a picture of a snake smoking from a hookah.
> That basically sums Rifts up. Hell, that snake is probably the editor.

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Maxus
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Post by Maxus » Tue Feb 05, 2013 6:52 am

> Ted the Flayer wrote:I think I'm going to do a drunken review of Draconomicon. If there is demand, I might go through all the 3e/3.5 monster supplements.
> I am picking those because there is so much to like, and so much giant frog as well.
> I might be tempted to do the Book of Vile Darkness/Exalted Deeds at some point. I have fewer fond memories of them, other than the giant horse queen in BoED triggered three or four fetishes I didn't realize I had before then...

That would be an interesting series.
I'm tempted to get in on this and do a review.
Even if I don't drink.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt » Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:58 am

So... anyone want me to do another 2e book?
I've got the Dungeon Master Guide/Rules Supplement: Arms and Equipment Guide, Player's Guide to the Dragonlance Campaign, and the Tales of the Lance World Book of Ansalon.
I've also got the 2e core books but they've been far more thoroughly covered, and would be even more painful for me to go through than the Player's Handbook/Rule Supplement: The Complete Psionics Handbook was.
And that was pretty damn painful, I'll let you know.
Spoilered for being potentially off topic (involves old school gaming books, but not drunken reviews)
I'd also be willing to run a Let's Play of one of the old Fighting Fantasy gamebooks In The Trenches, assuming that's kosher (nothing seems to indicate it wouldn't fit there, and it would fit there better than any other section.)
But I won't do both at the same time.

> Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).

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Koumei
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Post by Koumei » Thu Feb 07, 2013 3:08 am

I'd like to see a Let's Play of a Fighting Fantasy book. I *think* I know what they are: the CYOA book with a combat system in it that either has a "reference a chart based on your attack choice" system or a basic dice roll?
Or is it the Queen's Blade deal where the whole book is a one on one fight and you choose various options that have different priorities and flip you to different pages until someone dies?

> Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt » Thu Feb 07, 2013 4:16 am

It's the first thing you mentioned, and combat is based off dice rolls.
And there are a lot of insta-kills, which brings a 1e/2e feel to most of them.
So I have (notes in parenthesis)
#2 The Citadel of Chaos (has magic system, as you're a wizard in it, and is also fairly easy, as you can actually win with the worst stats possible.)
#5 City of Thieves (can basically break into everyone's house and kill them. Nothing to note mechanically, though; probably the most straightforward entry that I have.)
#6 Deathtrap Dungeon (Story-wise has the best reason for a "Dungeon Crawl" campaign ever. Very difficult. Has a ninja in it, and lots of instant death.)
#10 House of Hell (has Fear system, demon worshipers and movie monsters, takes place on Earth, not as difficult as Deathtrap Dungeon but very hard)
#24 Creature of Havoc (you play as a monster, and makes Deathtrap Dungeon look like a walk in the part... I haven't beaten this one, and it's the only one I haven't on this list)
#25 Beneath Nightmare Castle (Lovecraft meets Fantasy, Willpower mechanic or go insane, really disturbing and drawn out death sequences, and like City of Thieves can basically fight everyone, including children.)
I also have #7: Island of the Lizard King somewhere but I don't know where.

> Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).

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Koumei
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Post by Koumei » Thu Feb 07, 2013 4:20 am

Now I remember them - in middle school I found a bunch at the local library, including Deathtrap Dungeon, around the time that Deathtrap Dungeon had a PC game adaptation. Included was a book on how to do your own modules fairly simply (including as a DM for players, which I suppose was my actual second foray into roleplaying after Hero Quest).
Those were fun. I'd say go either Deathtrap Dungeon or City of Thieves? But whichever is most fun for you, I guess.

> Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt » Thu Feb 07, 2013 4:46 am

If the computer game is like the PS1 game then it's nothing like the actual book other than the basic concept.
OK, if no one else states a preference by some short period of time (no later than when I wake up tomorrow) I will select either Deathtrap Dungeon or City of Thieves based on what the fuck I feel like at the moment then.
Here are descriptions from the back covers of each, for anyone who is curious:

> The Citadel of Chaos wrote:Who knows what monstrous creatures lie in wait in the Citadel of Chaos?
> The Citadel holds a dark and dangerous peril for anyone foolhardy enough to venture through its gruesome gates. And yet venture you must, for your mission lies at the heart of the Citadel, with the dread sorcerer, Balthus Dire!

> City of Thieves wrote:Terror stalks the night as Zanbar Bone and his bloodthirsty Moon Dogs hold the prosperous town of Silverton to ransom. YOU are an adventurer, and the merchants of Silverton turn to you in their hour of need.
> Your mission takes you along dark, twisting streets where thieves, vagabonds and creatures of the night lie in wait to trap the unwary traveller. And beyond lies the most fearsome adventure of them all – the tower stronghold of the infamous Zanbar Bone!

> Deathtrap Dungeon wrote:Down in the dark twisting labyrinth of Fang, unknown horrors await you. Devised by the devilish mind of Baron Sukumvit, the labyrinth is riddled with fiendish traps and bloodthirsty monsters, which will test your skills almost beyond the limit of endurance!

> House of Hell wrote:Taking refuge in the infamous House of Hell has to be the worst mistake of your life!
> The dangers of the torrential storm outside are nothing compared to the blood-curdling adventures that await you inside. Who knows how many hapless wanderers like yourself have perished within its gruesome walls? Be warned! Tonight is going to be a night to remember...

> Creature of Havoc wrote:Are you ready for the most unusual Fighting Fantasy adventure yet?
> You begin this adventure not knowing where you are or who you are. All you know is that you are some kind of creature of instinct, understanding little. During the course of the adventure, it may be possible for you to begin to control your bestial nature, to find out more about yourself, and even to learn your destiny. But even if you know all this, success is by no means certain, for the traps and terrors of Trolltooth Pass are many ... Are you ready — to become the Creature of Havoc?

> Beneath Nightmare Castle wrote:Creatures from your worst nightmares lie beneath Neuberg Keep!
> In this book, you find yourself in Neuburg, once a pleasant town in Khul, but now home to the vile monsters begotten of warped sorcery. An age-old horror has been re-awoken deep beneath the Keep, and it is up to you to face it and free the town and your friend, Baron Tholdur, from evil enchantment. But beware! Deep underground lie hideous traps and terrors, waiting to ensnare you! Will you succeed? Only if you are the resourceful hero you claim to be ...

Last edited by Darth Rabbitt on Thu Feb 07, 2013 4:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

> Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).

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Avoraciopoctules
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Post by Avoraciopoctules » Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:03 am

I actually have a copy of the Deathtrap Dungeon book lying in a cardboard box somewhere in the garage at home. It would be interesting to see someone else's take on it.
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Dr_Noface
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Post by Dr_Noface » Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:07 am

I remember Citadel of Chaos being kind of fun. I think Deathtrap Dungeon is the ripest for mockery.
EDIT: Actually, its Master of Chaos that's kind of fun.
Last edited by Dr_Noface on Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt » Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:12 am

So it looks like Deathtrap Dungeon is in the lead.

> Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).

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Shrapnel
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Post by Shrapnel » Wed Mar 06, 2013 5:19 pm

Okay, so... Of all the 2e books that I gave to DR, the one I kept was the Monsterous Manual, mostly for sentimental reasons.
Now, I don't need to tell you that, like the rest of 2e, the Manual has some seriously screwed up shit, and so it'd be perfect for a drunken review, and I've been thinking of doing just that.
But the thing is, though, is that I can't drink for a variety of reasons which I don't feel like going into here. What I can do, however, is get really, really, really high on sugar, which is just as good. So it wouldn't be a true drunken review, but the effects would be near the same.
Another problem is that, as I have often said, I don't understand one jot of the mechanics or rules of D&D, or least, not most of it. It took me about ten years to figure out that the 2d6 and other similar things meant "roll two six-sided die". And I also have no idea what die I'm supposed to use for any given situation. (Whenever I play, I always have to ask which die I'm supposed to use. I ask even if I've been told before. Yeah, I'm useless, so what.)
However, I think that fact that I'm almost entirely clueless should make it much more interesting, to say the least.
Anyway, here's my point: Do y'all think that I should and/or could do a drunken suger-induced dementia review of the 2e Monsterous Manual, or should I just not even bother? I think it'd be fun to try, but I want to hear what you guys have to say about it.
Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
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Whatever
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Post by Whatever » Wed Mar 06, 2013 5:24 pm

Go for it. Worst case scenario, someone does a drunk review of your review.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History » Wed Mar 06, 2013 5:31 pm

I was thinking about doing a 2e Monstrous Manual OSSR - which is different from a drunk review 'cause I don't drink, and normally I spend more time wallowing in nostalgia than in pointing out how bullshit and broken everything is. But you go ahead if you want it, Shrap.
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