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General questions, debates, and rants about RPGs

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RadiantPhoenix
  Prince
  Posts: 2668
  Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:33 pm
  Location: Trudging up the Hill

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Post by RadiantPhoenix » Sat Jun 22, 2013 6:21 pm

> Omegonthesane wrote:The Inevitables have decided that the international XP Generation Tournament flouts several parts of the Pact Primeval and must therefore be stopped. You get to inform the multiple high-level wizards and clerics who were hoping to become even more high level by participating.

"The Inevitables have decided that the interplanar XP Generation Tournament should be replaced by an interplanar XP Generation Crusade against The Inevitables."

> Vebyast wrote:The king's new pleasure palace is built on the site of an ancient aboleth pleasure palace. The disturbed ghosts are producing phantasms of a singularly distressing nature.

The plan is to convince the king that the ghosts' behavior is perfectly acceptable, and finally bring peace between the aboleths and the surface races.
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Sigil
  Knight
  Posts: 472
  Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2013 4:17 am

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Post by Sigil » Sat Jun 22, 2013 7:47 pm

> rampaging-poet wrote:Every one of the king's advisers has been replaced by an imposter. None of the imposters know about each other.

"Gentlemen, I have called you to my house to play a game called PARANOIA"
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Vebyast
  Knight-Baron
  Posts: 801
  Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 5:44 am

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Post by Vebyast » Sat Jun 22, 2013 10:26 pm

Someone has hypnotized all of the king's carefully-placed imposters and convinced them that they're all the original people. The king is quite annoyed by the loss of his spies.
Last edited by Vebyast on Sat Jun 22, 2013 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

> DSMatticus wrote:There are two things you can learn from the Gaming Den:
> 1) Good design practices.
> 2) How to be a zookeeper for hyper-intelligent shit-flinging apes.

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Prak
  Serious Badass
  Posts: 17329
  Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm

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Post by Prak » Sat Jun 22, 2013 10:58 pm

> rampaging-poet wrote:Every one of the king's advisers has been replaced by an imposter. None of the imposters know about each other.

Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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RadiantPhoenix
  Prince
  Posts: 2668
  Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:33 pm
  Location: Trudging up the Hill

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Post by RadiantPhoenix » Sun Jun 23, 2013 3:45 pm

> Vebyast wrote:Someone has hypnotized all of the king's carefully-placed imposters and convinced them that they're all the original people. The king is quite annoyed by the loss of his spies.

It turns out that the originals were entirely fictional people who had originally been other people, but were regularly hypnotized to make them believe they were the other people.
The hypnotists didn't even notice that the imposters were imposters
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Cynic
  Prince
  Posts: 2776
  Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm

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Post by Cynic » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:36 am

A wicked wizard has placed a geas on the king so that he rather attend to the lifelong pleasures of the awakened animals in his pleasure palace than his own pleasures within the pleasure palace. Lift the geas.
Note you are all level 1 with no access to scrolls.

> Ancient History wrote:We were working on Street Magic, and Frank asked me if a houngan had run over my dog.

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DSMatticus
  King
  Posts: 5271
  Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:32 am

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Post by DSMatticus » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:38 am

A peculiar magical phenomenon has awakened the king's pleasure palace and it is not happy. Put a stop to all the bestiality and necrophilia and necrophiliac bestiality (wait, ghost aboleths doing it wouldn't be bestiality) happening inside and then find it a very strong cleaning agent, and maybe you'll end up with a talking castle. Just don't try to have sex in it; it's still pretty sensitive about that.
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Prak
  Serious Badass
  Posts: 17329
  Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm

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Post by Prak » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:41 am

The gods have taken notice of the King's unusual pleasure palace. Unfortunately, some have declared it an abomination as a talking building, some have declared it an abomination as a place in which unnatural acts occur, some have declared it as their new holy site as half-ghosts begin to be born from it's workers, and the god of Hedonism just wants it to be his newest temple.
Pick a side.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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infected slut princess
  Knight-Baron
  Posts: 790
  Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:44 am
  Location: 3rd Avenue

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Post by infected slut princess » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:41 am

Your sister was raped by an ogre. Go cut off the ogre's balls.

> Oh, then you are an idiot. Because infected slut princess has never posted anything worth reading at any time.

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Corsair114
  Master
  Posts: 282
  Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:07 am

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Post by Corsair114 » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:54 am

> infected slut princess wrote:Your sister was raped by an ogre. Go cut off the ogre's balls.

Your sister raped an ogre and cut off its balls to keep as a trophy. Find a way to make a name for yourself and escape your sister's shadow.
The rules are the game, without them you're just playing cowboys and indians with a side of craps.
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Darth Rabbitt
  Overlord
  Posts: 8866
  Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
  Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
  Contact:
  Contact Darth Rabbitt
  Website

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Post by Darth Rabbitt » Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:42 am

> infected slut princess wrote:Your sister was raped by an ogre. Go cut off the ogre's balls.

I was in a game where another PC was basically that ogre.
The adventure became "find the ogre's balls and see if we can't reattach them."

> Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).

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DSMatticus
  King
  Posts: 5271
  Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:32 am

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Post by DSMatticus » Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:16 am

> Corsair114 wrote:

> > infected slut princess wrote:Your sister was raped by an ogre. Go cut off the ogre's balls.

> Your sister raped an ogre and cut off its balls to keep as a trophy. Find a way to make a name for yourself and escape your sister's shadow.

Your sister has graduated to raping trolls. Her newest trophy can't seem to understand that it's supposed to be dead, and now the village is infested with swarms of troll scrotums, complete with tiny little legs and tiny little mouths. Treat as rat swarms or the like.
Also the villagers are starting to think your family is really weird.
Last edited by DSMatticus on Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RadiantPhoenix
  Prince
  Posts: 2668
  Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:33 pm
  Location: Trudging up the Hill

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Post by RadiantPhoenix » Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:24 am

> DSMatticus wrote:

> > Corsair114 wrote:

> > > infected slut princess wrote:Your sister was raped by an ogre. Go cut off the ogre's balls.

> > Your sister raped an ogre and cut off its balls to keep as a trophy. Find a way to make a name for yourself and escape your sister's shadow.

> Your sister has graduated to raping trolls. Her newest trophy can't seem to understand that it's supposed to be dead, and now the village is infested with swarms of troll scrotums, complete with tiny little legs and tiny little mouths. Treat as rat swarms or the like.
> Also the villagers are starting to think your family is really weird.

Your sister wants to upgrade to the next better thing.
Go capture the Tarrasque.
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Omegonthesane
  Prince
  Posts: 3625
  Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:55 pm

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Post by Omegonthesane » Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:56 am

> RadiantPhoenix wrote:

> > DSMatticus wrote:

> > > Corsair114 wrote:
> > > Your sister raped an ogre and cut off its balls to keep as a trophy. Find a way to make a name for yourself and escape your sister's shadow.

> > Your sister has graduated to raping trolls. Her newest trophy can't seem to understand that it's supposed to be dead, and now the village is infested with swarms of troll scrotums, complete with tiny little legs and tiny little mouths. Treat as rat swarms or the like.
> > Also the villagers are starting to think your family is really weird.

> Your sister wants to upgrade to the next better thing.
> Go capture the Tarrasque.

Complication: an order of Lawful Good clerics has hunted her across the planes with a list of charges, and all the time she spent on the troll has allowed them to catch up.

> Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath, Justin Bieber, shitmuffin
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RadiantPhoenix
  Prince
  Posts: 2668
  Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:33 pm
  Location: Trudging up the Hill

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Post by RadiantPhoenix » Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:03 am

> Omegonthesane wrote:

> > RadiantPhoenix wrote:

> > > DSMatticus wrote: Your sister has graduated to raping trolls. Her newest trophy can't seem to understand that it's supposed to be dead, and now the village is infested with swarms of troll scrotums, complete with tiny little legs and tiny little mouths. Treat as rat swarms or the like.
> > > Also the villagers are starting to think your family is really weird.

> > Your sister wants to upgrade to the next better thing.
> > Go capture the Tarrasque.

> Complication: an order of Lawful Good clerics has hunted her across the planes with a list of charges, and all the time she spent on the troll has allowed them to catch up.

Further complication: the clerics haven't actually looked at the list of charges, and are being hoodwinked by a Chaotic Evil organization that is upset with her for not doing this enough.
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ishy
  Duke
  Posts: 2404
  Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:59 pm

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Post by ishy » Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:57 am

The clergy of LG god <x> have started a crusade, in your kingdom, against having sex while under polymorph effects, claiming it is 'unnatural'.
Last edited by ishy on Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

> Gary Gygax wrote:The player’s path to role-playing mastery begins with a thorough understanding of the rules of the game

> Bigode wrote:I wouldn't normally make that blanket of a suggestion, but you seem to deserve it: scroll through the entire forum, read anything that looks interesting in term of design experience, then come back.

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hyzmarca
  Prince
  Posts: 3909
  Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:07 pm

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Post by hyzmarca » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:12 pm

A pale-skinned amnesiac man named Jayden has appeared in a remote village shortly after a shooting star struck the nearby mountains. Now everyone in the village is getting sick. Find the cause, cure the village, and determine if Jayden is some sort of demon or devil.
Last edited by hyzmarca on Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RadiantPhoenix
  Prince
  Posts: 2668
  Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:33 pm
  Location: Trudging up the Hill

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Post by RadiantPhoenix » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:18 pm

> ishy wrote:The clergy of LG god <x> have started a crusade, in your kingdom, against having sex while under polymorph effects, claiming it is 'unnatural'.

The druids of the kingdom have declared war on them stating something to the effect of, "... the hell it is!"
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echoVanguard
  Knight-Baron
  Posts: 738
  Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:35 pm

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Post by echoVanguard » Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:00 pm

> hyzmarca wrote:A pale-skinned amnesiac man named Jayden has appeared in a remote village shortly after a shooting star struck the nearby mountains. Now everyone in the village is getting sick. Find the cause, cure the village, and determine if Jayden is some sort of demon or devil.

I am really, really embarrassed that I recognized this before the 8th word of the first sentence.
This Star Trek: TNG Episode.
echo
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hyzmarca
  Prince
  Posts: 3909
  Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:07 pm

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Post by hyzmarca » Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:05 pm

> echoVanguard wrote:

> > hyzmarca wrote:A pale-skinned amnesiac man named Jayden has appeared in a remote village shortly after a shooting star struck the nearby mountains. Now everyone in the village is getting sick. Find the cause, cure the village, and determine if Jayden is some sort of demon or devil.

> I am really, really embarrassed that I recognized this before the 8th word of the first sentence.
> This Star Trek: TNG Episode.
> echo

TNG crossovers are always great, assuming that your layers aren't expecting it
-
A group of spell jamming elves teleport into town armed with wands of disintegration and claim it for the Star Empire.
-
A group of Duergar have discovered a that what they beleived to be a vein of extremely pure starmetal is actually a cube-shaped dungeon made almost entirely of it. Inside they find tens of thousands of docile and compliant half-golems, whom they take to their city as slaves.
Now the nearby Drow city is being harrassed by grey dwarves who are a a lot greyer than usual and always use the Royal We when speaking.
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unnamednpc
  Apprentice
  Posts: 90
  Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:23 am

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Post by unnamednpc » Tue Jun 25, 2013 2:14 pm

Turns out the polymancer tasked with providing entertainment for princess Huggalore's 9th birthday accidentally summoned a woolly, fuzzy manmoth.
It's friendly, it's (barely) intelligent, and the players are tasked with getting rid of it.
------------
(Relevant kingdom) is facing an invasion of incredibly friendly orcs.
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rampaging-poet
  Knight
  Posts: 473
  Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:18 am

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Post by rampaging-poet » Tue Jun 25, 2013 5:55 pm

A childless king is searching for a worthy heir to his throne. He's actually an ancient necromancer who has possessed his successor every generation since he founded the kingdom.

> DSMatticus wrote:I sort my leisure activities into a neat and manageable categorized hierarchy, then ignore it and dick around on the internet.

My deviantArt account, in case anyone cares.
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hyzmarca
  Prince
  Posts: 3909
  Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:07 pm

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Post by hyzmarca » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:28 pm

An impoverished Hill Giant Ranger shoots at an Owlbear and misses. Which his arrow strikes a black liquid wells up from the ground. It's black gold. Now he's a millionaire several times over and his kin folk insist on moving to the big city.
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Omegonthesane
  Prince
  Posts: 3625
  Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:55 pm

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Post by Omegonthesane » Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:34 pm

Your homeland has exploded and the colony your grandparents founded is nearly out of resources. There's this great big continent full of barbarians and mid-CR threats fighting over minor glories who outnumber your forces about a thousand to one, but aren't furnished with your cabal of sorcerers* or three dragons.
* or cabal of any other caster class, but "cabal of wizards" doesn't have the right ring to it.
Last edited by Omegonthesane on Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

> Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath, Justin Bieber, shitmuffin
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RadiantPhoenix
  Prince
  Posts: 2668
  Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:33 pm
  Location: Trudging up the Hill

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Post by RadiantPhoenix » Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:36 pm

> rampaging-poet wrote:A childless king is searching for a worthy heir to his throne. He's actually an ancient necromancer who has possessed his successor every generation since he founded the kingdom.

Oh hey, that sounds like one of the former villains from a certain children's comic book series.
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