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## Hilariously Bad (and Good) Fanfics

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Koumei
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### Hilariously Bad (and Good) Fanfics

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Post by Koumei » Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:56 am

> shirak wrote: Maybe we should a new thread or something, we are supposed to talk about HP, not fanfics.

Sure.
Harry Potter is practically easy mode, especially with such gems as My Immortal (check Youtube for dramatic readings of it).
There was a time where I wouldn't read fics per se, but MSTings. Yeah, Mystery Science Theater applied to fanfics. The Fauth brothers seemed to cover half the fic series about Evangelion, including no less than two Eva/Slayers crossovers (because they just combine so well!)
Now that this thread is started, people can discuss fics without being off-topic.
Proceed.

> Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

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Lago PARANOIA
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Post by Lago PARANOIA » Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:27 pm

I have three favorite MSTing series.
The first one is a MSTing of an otherwise good Rescue Ranger fanfic. Under the Bridge. It's actually extremely competent for a fanfic (good grammar, nice internal logic and characterization, a level of violence appropriate for the show, no random insertion of strange fetishes), but it's still extremely mockable due to its author going off on strange tangents and constantly inserting engineering and physics references.
The second one is of a Sailor Moon/WWF crossover. No, the WWF guys aren't like possessed and get blue faces and the scouts have to purge the evil from them, the Sailor Scouts physically wrestle them without magical powers. You know what makes this endeavor extra awesome? Oscar Martinez is in this fic. That Oscar.
My third favorite MSTing was a MSTing of David Gonterman's Mobius Chronicles, which was a three-part Sonic the Hedgehog comic where Davey is a self-insert in a fursuit. What makes this notable is that it is a comic book MSTing as opposed to all-text and that it uses the Space Ghost Coast to Coast characters rather than the usual MST3K crew. Normally this is a bad idea because most non-standard cast MSTings suck and are just a way for the authors to boost their favorite series, but it works well in this instance.

> Josh Kablack wrote:Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.
> In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.

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Maxus
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Post by Maxus » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:19 am

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1178241/DarthAmmonite
Everything here is pretty damn good
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Zinegata
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Post by Zinegata » Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:08 am

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/61213/Zinegata
Behold the horror
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Psychic Robot
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Post by Psychic Robot » Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:55 am

> The first one is a MSTing of an otherwise good Rescue Ranger fanfic. Under the Bridge. It's actually extremely competent for a fanfic (good grammar, nice internal logic and characterization, a level of violence appropriate for the show, no random insertion of strange fetishes), but it's still extremely mockable due to its author going off on strange tangents and constantly inserting engineering and physics references.

Sounds autistic. And surprisingly not creepy.
My favorite fanfic is Sonichu. (Does that count?)
Last edited by Psychic Robot on Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

> Count Arioch wrote:I'm not sure how discussions on whether PR is a terrible person or not is on-topic.

> Ant wrote:

> > Chamomile wrote:Ant, what do we do about Psychic Robot?

> You do not seem to do anything.

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shirak
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Post by shirak » Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:04 am

OK, the good:
Nobody Dies is a NGE fic in which Ikaru Yui never died. This produces MASSIVE changes and lots of weirdness. Highlights include a girl's night out for the female staff of NERV while Commander Ikari is playing RPGs with his son, Asuka's dad Pieter Sohryou defeating an Angel-spawn with an aircraft door and ending up best buddies with it and EVA-02 deciding a squirell is an Angel. Also, lots and lots of dimensional travel/crossovers
Kyon:Big Damn Hero is, obviously, about Suzumiya Haruhi. Actually it's about Kyon being a total Mary Sue and ends up in a pretty strange high school polyamorous romance so it might not be your thing. I rate it a guilty pleasure.
The Key to a Successful Interview is a Good First Impression! Ranma and Akane love each other very much. And the normal Ranma crazy is ramped up. No, really.
ARSENAL Shinji Ikari grew up dreaming the original NGE every night and ended up crazy (well, a different crazy then normal). So he takes NERV hostage with a suitcase nuke on his first day and things get crazier from there. VERY, VERY dark.
Hi Power Basically, ARSENAL with Harry Potter. HP gets the memories of his older self and goes to town on the Wizarding World.
Beautiful Destroyer Sailor Moon What if the girl destined to be Sailor Moon was a psychotic delinquent? Who was also genre savvy and smart? Cue Luna's facepalms
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ubernoob
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Post by ubernoob » Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:31 am

What is ARSENAL?
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Sir Neil
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Post by Sir Neil » Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:20 pm

Hi Power and Beautiful Destroyer Sailor Moon are great.
"With blood all over her right leg up to mid-thigh, Usagi wiped the sole of her shoe off on the man's tattered and stained Rei Ayanami T-shirt. 'That, Naru-chan, is how you break your foot off in a motherfucker's ass.'"
Last edited by Sir Neil on Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Orion
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Post by Orion » Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:53 pm

> shirak wrote:
> ARSENAL Shinji Ikari grew up dreaming the original NGE every night and ended up crazy (well, a different crazy then normal). So he takes NERV hostage with a suitcase nuke on his first day and things get crazier from there. VERY, VERY dark.

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Judging__Eagle
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Post by Judging__Eagle » Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:07 pm

Children of an Elder God It's been.... a while since I last read this, but I remember it being pretty decent in terms of being an Eva/Cthulu Mythos fic. Normal angels are removed and replaced with elder horrors, the series gets pretty interesting, and examines the transhuman nature of "heroic" characters by making them actually transhumans. Not finished, but you'll have dozens of hours of reading material that's definitely several notches about the typical fanfic.
I used to be on a real Eva fanfic kick about 8-9 years ago. CoaEG was one of the later ones that I read that was entertaining and memorable, the later implications of what characters are becoming are actually really good for thinking about what a powerful PC looks like compared to other characters in a world setting.
The Gaming Den; where Mathematics are rigorously applied to Mythology.
While everyone's Philosophy is not in accord, that doesn't mean we're not on board.
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Lago PARANOIA
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Post by Lago PARANOIA » Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:13 am

Gadget in Chains is good if you feel like breaking your brain.
It's like watching a Japanese horror movie. Instead of going for quick scares and intense heart-stopping action, it's a slow, creeping plunge into existential terror and agony where you feel numb rather than scared at the end. It's like A Sorcerer, A Demon, and Emeralds with the grammar cleaned up, made ten times as long, and much more Gadget-flavored homoerotica.
SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK (all caps) is good if you feel like breaking your brain, too. However, instead of leaving you kind of wanting to die at the end, it will make you go 'WTF did I just read'? Not in a TTGL kind of way, more of a Salad Fingers kind of way.

> Josh Kablack wrote:Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.
> In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.

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Surgo
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Post by Surgo » Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:58 am

When I was much younger, I liked Pokemon MASTER. Not sure how well it aged.
http://www.dnd-wiki.org -- the wiki
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Cynic
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Post by Cynic » Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:52 pm

Surgo: I was thinking of that one as well. I tried reading it a while ago and I couldn't get past the first two pages.

> Ancient History wrote:We were working on Street Magic, and Frank asked me if a houngan had run over my dog.

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shirak
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Post by shirak » Sat Jan 01, 2011 1:53 pm

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Faced with the craziness of magic and the magical world, child genius and rationalist Harry Potter decides there is only one thing he can do: reenact the Enlightnment, bring the magical world out of the Dark Ages and teach them the power of Science!
This is the best damn fanfic I have ever read. Professional quality writing by a reseacher of AI, it's only bad point is the heavy proselytization towards rationalism. Though I don't think Denners will mind much.
Hi-lights include:
Neville Longbottom is a total military nut.
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy try to out-flatter each other and end up with Lucius and McGonagal very weirded out.
Hermione brings Harry back from the dead with a kiss of True Love... well, sort of.
Professor Quirell is heavily implied to have made a Horcrux out of the plaque on Pioneer 11. Yes, the one currently outside the Solar System
[/i]
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Prak
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Post by Prak » Sat Jan 01, 2011 5:50 pm

> shirak wrote:Professor Quirell is heavily implied to have made a Horcrux out of the plaque on Pioneer 11. Yes, the one currently outside the Solar System
> [/i]

....That's frankly brilliant. Except... and I hate that I bring this up, but the presence of magic would likely have screwed up the fine instruments of the ship...
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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shirak
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Post by shirak » Sat Jan 01, 2011 7:25 pm

> Prak_Anima wrote:....That's frankly brilliant. Except... and I hate that I bring this up, but the presence of magic would likely have screwed up the fine instruments of the ship...

As far as I remember, the whole magic disrupts technology was specifically about Hogwarts. Too much background magic or something.
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Prak
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Post by Prak » Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:31 am

> shirak wrote:

> > Prak_Anima wrote:....That's frankly brilliant. Except... and I hate that I bring this up, but the presence of magic would likely have screwed up the fine instruments of the ship...

> As far as I remember, the whole magic disrupts technology was specifically about Hogwarts. Too much background magic or something.

I think you're right, but a horcrux is some pretty major magic, and the instruments on a ship can be pretty damned delicate. I was just speculating, but there's no reason it couldn't be fine.
I always liked the idea of a character figuring out how to use the background magic to power electronics... He'd do a tidy bit of business at Hogwarts
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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shirak
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Post by shirak » Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:53 pm

> Prak_Anima wrote:I think you're right, but a horcrux is some pretty major magic, and the instruments on a ship can be pretty damned delicate. I was just speculating, but there's no reason it couldn't be fine.

I don't know man. We have no idea how the damn spells works. In d20 terms, if it's Instant and not Permanent there should be no interference. Also, said instruments are hardened.
Besides, if one person can figure out how not to interfere with the instruments it's Professor Quirell.

> Prak_Anima wrote:I always liked the idea of a character figuring out how to use the background magic to power electronics... He'd do a tidy bit of business at Hogwarts

Read Hi-Power, it's heading that way. Though Wizards are canonically way too stupid/narrow-minded/assholes to do it.
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Orion
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Post by Orion » Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:57 pm

The bigger problem is how his ghost is going to get back from outer space after his first body dies.
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Psychic Robot
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Post by Psychic Robot » Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:00 am

First of all, there are no good fanfics. Ever.
Second of all, I consider Jack Chick to be a fanfic writer of the Bible. And his latest is a doozy.
LOOK AT THE HEART. IT'S FUCKING DECEITFUL.

> Count Arioch wrote:I'm not sure how discussions on whether PR is a terrible person or not is on-topic.

> Ant wrote:

> > Chamomile wrote:Ant, what do we do about Psychic Robot?

> You do not seem to do anything.

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Prak
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Post by Prak » Mon Jan 03, 2011 4:44 pm

> Orion wrote:The bigger problem is how his ghost is going to get back from outer space after his first body dies.

1-Inhabit horcrux until man goes back to the moon
2-Possess Astronaut
3-???
4-Profit!3-get back to earth.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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Maxus
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Post by Maxus » Mon Jan 03, 2011 5:03 pm

To show I'm more nerdy than I like admitting, I recall Voldemort -could- travel when he wasn't possessing someone. He was wiped out in England, and eventually went to Albania, where he ran into Quirrell.
So Quirrell could get his way back to earth. It'll take quite a while, though.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Prak
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Post by Prak » Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:12 am

> Maxus wrote:To show I'm more nerdy than I like admitting, I recall Voldemort -could- travel when he wasn't possessing someone. He was wiped out in England, and eventually went to Albania, where he ran into Quirrell.
> So Quirrell could get his way back to earth. It'll take quite a while, though.

Hence why I suggested Quirrel wait a bit. ...Unless a horcruxed soul can apparate...
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.

> Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

> FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
> You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

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Lago PARANOIA
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Post by Lago PARANOIA » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:10 am

One of my regrets about Web 2.0 is that there isn't much in the way of legendarily bad fanfics anymore.
I mean, sure, you have your My Immortals and your Doom: Repercussions of Evil and you have your Pokegirls but... nothing really stands out anymore. Don't get me wrong, A Sorcerer, A Demon, and Emeralds is total fucking shit but in the Web 1.0 days its level of badness was unique enough to make people sit up and take notice. But today there are just so many other competitors that none of them can stand out.
I feel old. Remember when we used to play Oregon Trail II on Powermacs? What about Pogs? What about text-based MUDs? H-hold me, TGD, hold me tight.

> Josh Kablack wrote:Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.
> In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.

Top

Kaelik
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Post by Kaelik » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:38 am

You played Oregon Trail II? What are you, seven. You are a child in my eyes.

> DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?

The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.
That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
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