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## Unpublishable Sins

Mundane & Pointless Stuff I Must Share: The Off Topic Forum

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Ancient History
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### Unpublishable Sins

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Post by Ancient History » Sun Nov 18, 2012 7:37 pm

Okay, an entirely self-stroking post, but I was looking at Strange Horizon's list of too-common fiction stories and wondered how many I was guilty of publishing on The Unpublishable.
1. Person is (metaphorically) at point A, wants to be at point B. Looks at point B, says "I want to be at point B." Walks to point B, encountering no meaningful obstacles or difficulties. The end. (A.k.a. the linear plot.)
Armgaunt and No Justice for Dead Horses
7. Protagonist is a bad person.
Arguably quite a few, but definitely Murder! He Wrote, [rl=http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2012/08/on-rape.html]On Rape[/url], The Racist, Setting Sun, and Tick Tits Boom.
8. A place is described, with no plot or characters.
Blood on the Set.
9. A "surprise" twist ending occurs. [Note that we do like endings that we didn't expect, as long as they derive naturally from character action. But note, too, that we've seen a lot of twist endings, and we find most of them to be pretty predictable, even the ones not on this list.]
A = 1, Never Late, arguably some of the others.
11. Scientist uses himself or herself as test subject.
End of Legacy of the Vein.
12. Evil unethical doctor performs medical experiments on unsuspecting patient.
Arguably Cruciferous.
15. Story is based in whole or part on a D&D game or world.
Arguably the generic fantasy of The Collector of Cantrips and The Ten Million Demons, maybe a couple others.
20. Person A tells a story to person B (or to a room full of people) about person C.
The God of the Cup and Three Milk Maids Meet At Midnight, sortof.
26. Someone takes revenge for the wrongs done to them.
Armgaunt, No Justice for Dead Horses, part of An Angel Passed, the solution in Afterbirth, part of (Not) for Sale
28. Strange and mysterious things keep happening. And keep happening. And keep happening. For over half the story. Relentlessly. Without even a hint of explanation.
That Constant Necromancy
30. Brutal violence against women is depicted in loving detail, often in a story that's ostensibly about violence against women being bad.
Ooh boy. Blood on the Set, Daughter of Pearl, Murder! He Wrote, (Not) For Sale, On Rape, that surgical scene in Setting Sun, Zippergirl, sort of.
34. Teen's family doesn't understand them.
I Can't Talk To My Son, sortof.
40. Story consists of recipes for, or descriptions of, killing and eating sentient beings (usually fantastical creatures).
The Illustrated Edition.
44. Title consists entirely of a string of digits.
A = 1 is an equivalence.
45. Baby or child is put in danger, in a contrived way, in order to artificially boost narrative tension.
Changeling Wood and Daughter of Pearl
...
Which isn't too bad, I reckon.
Last edited by Ancient History on Sun Nov 18, 2012 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ikeren
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Post by Ikeren » Sun Nov 18, 2012 8:51 pm

Some of those aren't inevitably or obviously wrong to me.
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Doom
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Post by Doom » Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:26 pm

The issue is these are overdone. My published book is sort of #7, but only insofar as one of the main protagonists is a bad person.

> Kaelik, to Tzor wrote: And you aren't shot in the face?

> Frank Trollman wrote:A government is also immortal ...On the plus side, once the United Kingdom is no longer united, the United States of America will be the oldest country in the world. USA!

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erik
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Post by erik » Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:35 pm

What a story is about is sometimes not half as interesting as how it is told. Even in the list they note that sometimes these are okay, it is in how the story is delivered and whether there is simply more to the story than a one line synopsis, which really is a given for most stories on their list or otherwise. If the story can be adequately described with one sentence then it's probably a shitty story. Usually there's more going on though.
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Josh_Kablack
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Post by Josh_Kablack » Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:41 pm

> Robin D. Laws wrote: We tell the same stories over and over again because those are the best stories!

Last edited by Josh_Kablack on Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"But transportation issues are social-justice issues. The toll of bad transit policies and worse infrastructure—trains and buses that don’t run well and badly serve low-income neighborhoods, vehicular traffic that pollutes the environment and endangers the lives of cyclists and pedestrians—is borne disproportionately by black and brown communities."
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K
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Post by K » Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:02 pm

I feel that writing is like philosophy: everyone will tell you that there is one true way, but the objective evidence points to there being no rules at all.
Anthropology will also inform you that there are no new plot/tricks/techniques under the sun.
I have a friend who is writing too, and she'd been obsessing over self-help writing books like The First 50 Pages. She points to the rules in the books and then points out how every book she loves violates those rules completely. I can only tell her that the self-professed masters of writing need to fill page-space just like anyone else and she should believe the evidence.
That's why I think Stephen King's book, On Writing, is the only writing book and writing advice you need. The middle part is a giant list of "don't do this" techniques where he points to writers who have made their careers doing those exact things. It's basically an entire argument in book form about how there are no rules if you write well.
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Whatever
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Post by Whatever » Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:04 pm

> Josh_Kablack wrote:

> > Robin D. Laws wrote: We tell the same stories over and over again because those are the best stories!

One time I had sex with six cheerleaders while winning the lottery. And the Olympics.
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Stahlseele
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Post by Stahlseele » Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:36 pm

The necromancy and the steam punk bit are there because of author preference and to show what kind of world it is . . what needs to be explained about these bits?
ESPECIALLY in the stories that take place in th warhammer fantasy universe.
Anybody who knows anything at all about that one KNOWS that there is an entire fragging kingdom? country? empire? made up entirely of necromancy . . and it's not even the big bad evil chaos planes folks x.x
Welcome, to IronHell.

> Shrapnel wrote:

> > TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.
> > Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.

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Ted the Flayer
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Post by Ted the Flayer » Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:40 pm

> Whatever wrote:

> > Josh_Kablack wrote:

> > > Robin D. Laws wrote: We tell the same stories over and over again because those are the best stories!

> One time I had sex with six cheerleaders while winning the lottery. And the Olympics.

That's not a good story. A better story would be about me having sex with six cheerleaders while winning the lottery and the olympics. Can't you throw in some conflict or some grievous and/or hilarious groin injury?
EDIT: groin injury for you, not me.
Last edited by Ted the Flayer on Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

> Prak Anima wrote:Um, Frank, I believe you're missing the fact that the game is glorified spank material/foreplay.

> Frank Trollman wrote:I don't think that is any excuse for a game to have bad mechanics.

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Whatever
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Post by Whatever » Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:24 pm

Okay, okay. New story:
Explosions. And bullets. One-liners. Nudity. More explosions. Comical groin injury.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History » Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:27 pm

I have threatened to write "Tick, Tits, Boom II: Bust Harder"
Deep Cuts In A Lovecraftian Vein
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JigokuBosatsu
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Post by JigokuBosatsu » Mon Nov 19, 2012 3:59 am

I've violated plenty of these, or come close to violating, in published work or otherwise. No biggie.
The one thing about lists like these is that they very rarely make any attempt to be personable or funny. I mean, I get lots of mediocre/terrible music submissions at CIMTB, so I undersand the frustration. But come on. Lists like these remind me of menus at really uptight restaurants- you know, a paragraph about how much substitutions cost and automatic gratuities and etc. Just sounds petty.

> Omegonthesane wrote:a glass armonica which causes a target city to have horrific nightmares that prevent sleep

> JigokuBosatsu wrote:so a regular glass armonica?

You can buy my books, yes you can. Out of print and retired, sorry.
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