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## Frank Trollman Facts

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Captain_Bleach
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### Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:59 am

Presumably, the man himself. Image from Frank's Livejournal account.
In honor of Chuck Norris facts, I am making a Frank Trollman Facts thread. Feel free to add your own facts. Said facts have to involve Frank Trollman. Facts relating to RPG games are also appreciated.
You may remember me posting this in the "Ultimate Classes" thread. I decided to put it here so it will get more attention.
I will start off.
Frank Trollman facts:
Frank once DMed a game with the Book of Erotic Fantasy. There were no survivors.
Frank Trollman is not a rules-lawyer, he is a rules master.
Frank Trollman can divide by 0.
Frank Trollman can powergame a Commoner.
Frank Trollman plays crappy RPG games because he already played all the good ones.
Frank Trollman did not get banned from WotC boards, he punished everyone by letting them continue posting.
Frank Trollman is not pro-balance, he's anti-stupid.
Frank Trollman, as a teen, once tried to light his farts, but has vowed never to do so again; one Great Chicago Fire was enough.
The Wish spell's prerequisites are "asking Frank Trollman for permission."
Whenever something requires DM approval, said DM telepathically communicates with Frank Trollman for the right answer.
Frank Trollman's wife has no need of birth control; Frank can alter his sperm count at will.
Edit: Oops, wrong board. Know how to move it to MPSIMS?
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MrWaeseL
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by MrWaeseL » Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:13 am

This is it.
This is the worst thread ever.
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the_taken
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by the_taken » Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:36 am

At least wait 'till he's got his doctorate. The list would be infinitely cooler starting each line with Doctor Frank Trollman.
I had a signature here once but I've since lost it.
My current project: http://tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=56456
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:42 am

> the_taken at [unixtime wrote:1197427016[/unixtime]]At least wait 'till he's got his doctorate. The list would be infinitely cooler starting each line with Doctor Frank Trollman.

Know how move a thread to another section of the board?
Edit: Alright! Thanks, whoever moved it!
Frank Trollman does not trip and fall down; he accidentally destroys sidewalks, highways, and roads.
Frank Trollman can rip a person's organ out with his bare fists and put it back in. This is how Trollman performs surgery.
Frank Trollman does not grow a beard through age and time; he simply wills himself to become hairy.
Frank Trollman is not a Dungeon Master; he is a Dungeon God.
Frank Trollman does not play God. He lives it.
Frank Trollman is an atheist because he killed all the supernatural entities.
This message board would not be what it is today if not for Frank Trollman; otherwise, it's topics would consist of nothing but Captain Bleach and Voss insulting each other.
D&D is not a game to Frank Trollman, but a way of life.
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CalibronXXX
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by CalibronXXX » Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:52 am

There is something wrong with you.
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:08 am

> Calibron at [unixtime wrote:1197431578[/unixtime]]There is something wrong with you.

I'm glad to know that you appreciate the thread.
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Judging__Eagle
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Judging__Eagle » Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:18 am

Actually, it makes a pile of sense.
Cptn. Bleach was all hissy about Frank for a while, then suddenly got what Frank writes and now he's all in sycophantic mode. It'll wear off in a bit.
I was sort of the same way when I first read the stuff K posted on the WoTC boards. I knew that most of the WoTC stuff was bad, but I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was wrong or how to fix it. Then I read Races of War or Tome of Necromancy and I suddenly 'got' what had been wrong the whole time.
In fact, for the longest time I was very hesitant to write up a class or a PrC for any game that I was in b/c I didn't know what they should be able to do, they would either come out weak or dumb or overpowered. After sort of figuring stuff out I was able to write some so-so PrCs (Berzerker-Magus, Master Thrower), a feat that replaced the Soulknife class, a couple of lvl 11 NPC classes, a PC class (The Psychoanalyst) that I didn't finish, think of some ideas for a replacement for the Ranger class and two racial 'classes' that I haven't finished either.
Seriously, until I had an idea of why certain things didn't work I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to change things in the game and the one attempt that I made at making a PrC was fraught with stops and jars b/c the powers it had seemed.... useless, but I didn't know what the class needed to be able to do.
The Gaming Den; where Mathematics are rigorously applied to Mythology.
While everyone's Philosophy is not in accord, that doesn't mean we're not on board.
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Maxus
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Maxus » Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:16 pm

> Judging Eagle wrote:Cptn. Bleach was all hissy about Frank for a while, then suddenly got what Frank writes and now he's all in sycophantic mode. It'll wear off in a bit.

I'm the one who got Cap'n started on this stuff. He said something about being amazed at how Frank finds the time, and I made a crack about how Frank doesn't waste time on sleeping, eating, and transit.
Which I'm joking about, but there's a little bit of truth to it: I'm impressed Frank's knack at getting stuff done quickly. I think he came up with the Puppeteer class in a little over an hour after I mentioned the idea of a full series of Energy Mages.
I just didn't expect Bleach to take the idea and run with it like he has.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Naar
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Naar » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:30 pm

> Captain_Bleach wrote::words:

Stop posting immediately.
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the_taken
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by the_taken » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:53 pm

Frank Trollman can make a near balanced class for D&D in less than an hour.
Frank Trollman can brake anything with a glance. No save. No resistance.
I'm of the impression that Frank has a stockpile of stuff he's written down that he knows works for stuff like D&D. Then when somebody requests something, he makes a composite of those parts to fit a theme. Evidence in the typos.
t's actually an really efficient system. Comic artists often use stock backgrounds for multi-use so that all they have to do is draw in the characters and minute changes. For those with too much time on their hands, find a series that always uses the same location (like a school or hospital) and count how many times the same place from the same angle is used.
I had a signature here once but I've since lost it.
My current project: http://tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=56456
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:56 pm

> Naar at [unixtime wrote:1197487836[/unixtime]]

> > Captain_Bleach wrote::words:

> Stop posting immediately.

As long as I have some stupid and pointless fun, and it isn't breaking the rules, what's wrong?

> Judging Eagle wrote:Actually, it makes a pile of sense.
> Cptn. Bleach was all hissy about Frank for a while, then suddenly got what Frank writes and now he's all in sycophantic mode. It'll wear off in a bit.

If I were a real sycophant, I'd send him $4,000 USD to help him get his material published, shortly followed by a restraining order for stalking him constantly and worshiping him.
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CalibronXXX
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by CalibronXXX » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:14 am

> the_taken at [unixtime wrote:1197489211[/unixtime]]Frank Trollman can make a near balanced class for D&D in less than an hour.
> Frank Trollman can brake anything with a glance. No save. No resistance.
> I'm of the impression that Frank has a stockpile of stuff he's written down that he knows works for stuff like D&D. Then when somebody requests something, he makes a composite of those parts to fit a theme. Evidence in the typos.
> t's actually an really efficient system. Comic artists often use stock backgrounds for multi-use so that all they have to do is draw in the characters and minute changes. For those with too much time on their hands, find a series that always uses the same location (like a school or hospital) and count how many times the same place from the same angle is used.

I don't think so, plenty of times when an idea strikes me I can have a new rule or class up and running in an hour or three; Frank is a much better game designer than I am, so it's likely that he falls into that state much more often than I do, or possibly can summon it up at will most of the time.
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:37 am

Frank Trollman does not insult people with his opinions, he insults people with his facts.
Frank Trollman does not fear Death; Death fears Frank Trollman.
We're not doing Frank Trollman a favor by reading the Tome Series, he is doing us a favor by making them.
When Frank Trollman picks up a pencil and writes a Class, a kitten is saved from death.
When Frank Trollman eats Mad Dog 357 Hot Sauce straight from the bottle, his stomach does not act up; even his stomach is not stupid enough to cause Frank Trollman pain.
Frank Trollman's head does not have a brain; his whole body functions as a brain.
Frank Trollman single-handedly destroyed the Kobayashi Maru, using nothing but a warped Tupperware lid.
It would be really awesome if the man himself posted in this thread.
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fbmf
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by fbmf » Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:15 am

Your fan-boyish-ness is even weirding me out.
Game On,
fbmf
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:35 am

> fbmf at [unixtime wrote:1197512157[/unixtime]]Your fan-boyish-ness is even weirding me out.
> Game On,
> fbmf

I'm not being serious.
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Koumei
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Koumei » Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:52 am

http://www.putfile.com/pic.php?img=7277029
Here you go, Captain. You can pray to it at night
(I'm not being serious either. However it gave me an excuse to draw again, and serves as an example of why I don't offer to do pretty pictures for the Tome series (thus luring readers in). I'm just not good enough.)

> Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:55 am

Thanks, Koumei. It proves that Frank Trollman is GOD!!
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SunTzuWarmaster
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by SunTzuWarmaster » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:12 am

um...
I have the tendency to agree with previous posters that your words are just annoying at this point.
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Count Arioch the 28th
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Count Arioch the 28th » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:14 am

In this moment, I am Ur-phoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my int score.
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:23 am

> SunTzuWarmaster at [unixtime wrote:1197519173[/unixtime]]um...
> I have the tendency to agree with previous posters that your words are just annoying at this point.

It was one person, but I'll stop now.
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Judging__Eagle
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Judging__Eagle » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:27 pm

You know, most of the people in my gaming group really don't give a shit about knowing if something is balanced or not, but most of them would have to agree with this one:
"We're not doing Frank Trollman a favor by reading the Tome Series, he is doing us a favor by making them."
You forgot to mention K though.
I printed Alphanerd's PDF earlier this week at school. My college gives every student 25$ worth of printing a semester (part of our tuition I guess) and I have 13$ left in my last 2 days.
So I'm gonna go on a printing spree today and get down most of the stuff that's been posted here to have handy for myself and my gaming group this "Winter"* break.
*:Insert holiday of choice. Seriously, I can think of at least 4 or 5
The Gaming Den; where Mathematics are rigorously applied to Mythology.
While everyone's Philosophy is not in accord, that doesn't mean we're not on board.
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JonSetanta
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by JonSetanta » Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:12 pm

> Captain_Bleach at [unixtime wrote:1197519783[/unixtime]]

> > SunTzuWarmaster at [unixtime wrote:1197519173[/unixtime]]um...
> > I have the tendency to agree with previous posters that your words are just annoying at this point.

> It was one person, but I'll stop now.

awwww.... damn it. Well, was funny while it lasted.
And Koumei: ...
...

> The Adventurer's Almanac wrote: ↑
> Fri Oct 01, 2021 10:25 pm
> Nobody gives a flying fuck about Tordek and Regdar.

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the_taken
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by the_taken » Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:33 pm

I got another:
The concept of Marvell's Wolverine was inspired by Frank Trollman
When Frank and Keith joined forces, they were able to mine and purify the hardest metal known to Man, Dragonforce, after which Keith grafted the stuff to Frank's skeleton while he was sleeping a as practical joke.
Frank then came up with ideas for a Tome series Paladin.
I had a signature here once but I've since lost it.
My current project: http://tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=56456
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Captain_Bleach
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Captain_Bleach » Sat Dec 15, 2007 3:04 am

The Wish Economy is what would happen in real life if Frank Trollman became ruler.
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Maxus
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### Re: Frank Trollman Facts

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Post by Maxus » Sat Dec 15, 2007 6:19 am

This is the closest appropriate thread I can find to put this in...
...I happened to be making the DM's eyes explode by giving him stuff from this board. He's expressed a lot of admiration for Frank's style of critique--here's a direct quote...

> DM wrote:I'd be honored if somebody took a work of mine seriously enough to write page long comical vituperations about its flaws while proposing ways to make it better.

And I once again enjoyed the huge, huge irony that someone with Frank's style of communication is named...Frank.
Really. One of the things that can always make me grin is someone on this board saying the word frankly.
So, hey, here's to Frank!
May the comical vituperations never cease.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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