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## Bob the Werewolf Hunter

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Elennsar
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### Bob the Werewolf Hunter

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Post by Elennsar » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:10 pm

We all know of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We mostly know there's a rpg for it.
I propose, therefore, that Bob the Werewolf Hunter get his just dues.
Bob (like mos- all PCs) is an old, balding, and not very attractive man.
This will appeal to the demographic of gamers whose fading memories of giving tips to a young E. A. Presley vie with memories of having single handedly beaten the Hun using nothing more than chewing gum wrappers.
Bob (and similarly "blessed") PCs have been chosen for...we're not sure what reasons, since everyone knows werewolves are even more mythological than Bigfoot. But don't say that around Bob. Bob has a pet Sasquatch which he rides to and from work, instead of taking the bus. Or at least that's what he says after a few drinks.
Yeah, we're not sure about Bob. Fortunately, most PCs are slightly more aware of their surroundings, and are only likely to speak of their sasquatch sightings when it is relevant to the plot. Because you can't fight werewolves without defying Science!
This brings us the most important fact. Werewolves are NOT, in fact, only harmed by silver. This is a plot put out by scientists in order to make ordinary people feel afraid of werewolves. In fact, any substance will do, but for some reason silver works best. Apparently, these scientists have even fooled the werewolves.
Remember, he who dies for Dog will go to heaven! Wait, God. Not dog.
Yes, he who dies for God will go to heaven, and be rid of all sins! Especially the sins of having 16 year old girlfriends who are afraid to tell their parents about what they do in your basement.
Yessir, being a Hunter is where it is at. Nothing but beer, women, and shooting anyone who looks like an enemy of religion. I mean, humanity. Hunters would NEVER kill another human. Honest. Especially not one of those bible bashing scientists.
Okay, maybe they would. But we don't talk about that.
Last edited by Elennsar on Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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bourdain89
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Post by bourdain89 » Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:38 am

wow that whole post wasnt creepy at all
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
SWING MY CHAINAXE KILL MAIM BURN!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:01 am

It wasn't creepy? Damnit. Need more references to sixteen year old sex slaves and killing scientists, then.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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norms29
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Post by norms29 » Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:02 am

what is this supposed to be?
After all, when you climb Mt. Kon Foo Sing to fight Grand Master Hung Lo and prove that your "Squirrel Chases the Jam-Coated Tiger" style is better than his "Dead Cockroach Flails Legs" style, you unleash a bunch of your SCtJCT moves, not wait for him to launch DCFL attacks and then just sit there and parry all day. And you certainly don't, having been kicked about, then say "Well you served me shitty tea before our battle" and go home.
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:03 am

Other than a parody of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Nothing. Its just for my own amusement and that of those who share a similarly warped idea of what's funny.
Though - if anyone actually wants to see it as a game, its as good as any other farce.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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bourdain89
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Post by bourdain89 » Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:01 am

theres really nothing humorous about what you said. on any level. its not even a parody.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
SWING MY CHAINAXE KILL MAIM BURN!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:16 am

You might not find it funny. I did.
If it bothers or offends you, I appologize - otherwise, ignore it. It was posted for sheer inanity's sake.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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Psychic Robot
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Post by Psychic Robot » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:29 am

This is anti-funny and confusing.

> Count Arioch wrote:I'm not sure how discussions on whether PR is a terrible person or not is on-topic.

> Ant wrote:

> > Chamomile wrote:Ant, what do we do about Psychic Robot?

> You do not seem to do anything.

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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:38 am

Y'know, it would make absolutely no difference in the world to anyone or anything if you ignored it. So if it isn't funny and it isn't interesting, please do so.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:46 am

Actually, the negative response to this will encourage you not to try to attempt this kind of farce again. After enough of these moments, you will learn to avoid them, and the universe likes that.
Everyone has their moments of idiocy or being wrong. You just had one. Try to learn from it.
Last edited by Maxus on Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:17 am

> Actually, the negative response to this will encourage you not to try to attempt this kind of farce again. After enough of these moments, you will learn to avoid them, and the universe likes that.
> Everyone has their moments of idiocy or being wrong. You just had one. Try to learn from it.

Fuck off.
If you don't find it funny, I do - there's nothing idiotic or wrong about that, much as you would apparently like to believe that if you don't like it that there's something wrong with it.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:42 am

Wow, you really don't like being told you're wrong...
Well, okay, you find that vapid piece of inanity amusing. I don't, because my tastes in humor don't lie in this direction. Several other people have said they don't like it, either. One would think you'd go, "Oh, hey, these people don't like inanity. That's cool, I won't throw it in their face."
Nothing wrong with the piece itself, but your retorts always blame us for, I don't know. Being the people on the Gaming Den, I guess.
Besides, this is the Gaming Den. This is a place where you can actually say what you want. Of course, the free speech here goes hand-in-hand with free listening. You can express your opinion, but other people will express their opinion on your opinion.
To put it another way, you put something up here, you get everyone's two cent's worth, plus a lot of acid.
You have a consistently violent reaction to people telling you anything negative, and you need to get the fuck over that.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:49 am

> Well, okay, you find that vapid piece of inanity amusing. I don't, because my tastes in humor don't lie in this direction. Several other people have said they don't like it, either. One would think you'd go, "Oh, hey, these people don't like inanity. That's cool, I won't throw it in their face."

"I don't like it." and "I think its a bad thing." are two different things, though one wouldn't know it from your previous post (the one above the one I am responding to in this).
Posting something no one is requested to read is not throwing something in anyone's face, either.

> Nothing wrong with the piece itself, but your retorts always blame us for, I don't know. Being the people on the Gaming Den, I guess.

No, I blame you for being people who think that not being required to be polite means you don't have to show any respect whatsoever unless you want to be respectful for your own reasons having nothing to do with what other people want.

> You have a consistently violent reaction to people telling you anything negative, and you need to get the fuck over that.

If you have something useful or productive to say that might actually do some good, being critical is fine. Saying "I didn't find this funny and I'm don't see how (or why, or both) you do." is fine. Saying that it was wrong or idiotic is not fine unless you want to be an asshole.
Since you apparently are fine with being an asshole, I am equally fine with pointing out what I think of people who are fine with being assholes.
Last edited by Elennsar on Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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violence in the media
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Post by violence in the media » Sat Mar 07, 2009 1:30 pm

> Elennsar wrote:

> > Nothing wrong with the piece itself, but your retorts always blame us for, I don't know. Being the people on the Gaming Den, I guess.

> No, I blame you for being people who think that not being required to be polite means you don't have to show any respect whatsoever unless you want to be respectful for your own reasons having nothing to do with what other people want.

Y'know, people who demand respect are usually the least deserving of it.
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:32 pm

Y'know, people who think that being an asshole is okay are usually incapable of telling what kind of respect people who believe everyone should be respectful have in mind.
If you think its okay to be rude and offensive and make other people upset whenever you feel like it, then expect a negative response from me.
Its that simple.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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Roy
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Post by Roy » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:16 pm

Now let's be fair to Elennsar here. That post was very funny.

> fun&#8901;ny
> 1&#8194; &#8194;/&#712;f&#652;ni/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [fuhn-ee] Show IPA adjective, -ni&#8901;er, -ni&#8901;est, noun, plural -nies.
> –adjective
> 1. providing fun; causing amusement or laughter; amusing; comical: a funny remark; a funny person.
> 2. attempting to amuse; facetious: Did you really mean that or were you just being funny?
> 3. warranting suspicion; deceitful; underhanded: We thought there was something funny about those extra charges.
> 4. Informal. insolent; impertinent: Don't get funny with me, young man!
> 5. curious; strange; peculiar; odd: Her speech has a funny twang.

Dictionaries do not lie.
Last edited by Roy on Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Judging__Eagle
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Post by Judging__Eagle » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:30 pm

It's a mix of ideas that barely mesh. Makes the reader think it will be exciting, but like most exciting things it isn't interesting and ends up being sort of boring.
Sticking to a specific type of person that you are parodying would have been smarter and kept this as more cohesive. Right now you're talking about a pretty large group of people and trying to pidenhole all of them at once. It's not working.
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:34 pm

If I intended this as a serious project (as in, something to actually do), I'd edit it accordingly.
I don't. The only part that is remotely serious in that sense is this:

> Bob (like mos- all PCs) is an old, balding, and not very attractive man.

It is, after all, meant to be a deliberate mockery of Buffy, first and foremost.
The mockery of other things was added just becausse it sounded funny when I wrote it. And yes, I know, I do have a weird sense of humor.
Last edited by Elennsar on Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:17 pm

If you find it offensive, I appologize. If you don't like it, there are plenty of ways to say that without claiming that your opinion is anything other than your personal dislike.
But since you're more interested in being insulting to me than anything else, it really doesn't matter to you one way or another whether there are ways to express it.
Congradulations. You are a jerk.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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ckafrica
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Post by ckafrica » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:32 pm

Yeah, every responder in this thread has called you out on your fucking awful attempt at humor and we are the ones with character issues.
Has it ever occurred to you that when you are frequenting a place where nearly everything you say is in fact considered and then discarded in contempt as being ideologically anathema by nearly every denizen of a place;
that maybe
just possibly
you're hanging out in the wrong fucking place to express your ideas?
The internet gave a voice to the world thus gave definitive proof that the world is mostly full of idiots.
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:40 pm

> Yeah, every responder in this thread has called you out on your fucking awful attempt at humor and we are the ones with character issues.

If you don't find it funny, then say so. No harm, no foul.
You didn't find it funny. That's all you need to say.
Nothing about not finding it funny has anything to do with character issues.
Your mockery has a lot to do with character issues.
And if you're incapable of expressing disliking for something without attacking people who do like it, your communication skills are terrible.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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Cielingcat
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Post by Cielingcat » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:44 pm

> Elennsar wrote:It is, after all, meant to be a deliberate mockery of Buffy, first and foremost.

What? It's not a deliberate mockery of Buffy. It's not a mockery of Buffy at all. Literally, there is nothing in this that mocks Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Nothing. At all. It is dumb, it is bad, and you should feel bad for thinking of it.
It is not amusing, it is not entertaining, and above all it is not in any way funny.
If you think this is a parody of Buffy, please, explain how that is. Or better yet, delete it and forget you ever thought it up.
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Roy
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Post by Roy » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:28 pm

> Cielingcat wrote:

> > Elennsar wrote:It is, after all, meant to be a deliberate mockery of Buffy, first and foremost.

> What? It's not a deliberate mockery of Buffy. It's not a mockery of Buffy at all. Literally, there is nothing in this that mocks Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Nothing. At all. It is dumb, it is bad, and you should feel bad for thinking of it.
> It is not amusing, it is not entertaining, and above all it is not in any way funny.
> If you think this is a parody of Buffy, please, explain how that is. Or better yet, delete it and forget you ever thought it up.

He may not be funny (humorous), but the high ground cat is. Plus Fucking One. Except for the part where you say he isn't funny. Check the definitions again.
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bourdain89
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Post by bourdain89 » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:58 pm

exactly my sentiments. im familiar with the world of buffy and i can see no connection between what was posted here and the series.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
SWING MY CHAINAXE KILL MAIM BURN!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
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Elennsar
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Post by Elennsar » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:15 am

> If you think this is a parody of Buffy, please, explain how that is. Or better yet, delete it and forget you ever thought it up.

If you actually want an explaination, mocking this is not, generally, a good way to get one.

> exactly my sentiments. im familiar with the world of buffy and i can see no connection between what was posted here and the series.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Buffy, young, female, reasonably attractive (?)
Bob the Werewolf Hunter: Bob, old, male, ugly.
Opposites.
If you don't find it funny or sensible, fine. You've said it, I've noticed it, and as this isn't something I actually want to work on, I really don't care whether its liked or not.
Trust in the Emperor, but always check your ammunition.
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